Chapter Text
Monoma glared at the clock on his wall, trying to will it to change,
It didn't work of course, his secrets didn't lie in reality bending.
He flopped back on his bed with a loud grumble, insomnia was insanely annoying.
It was currently 3AM and he had school in the morning,
He considered taking some sleeping pills, but that would require sneaking out to the kitchen and the nannies were trained to properly "discipline" him.
Even though his dad had rightfully fucked off years ago, he still controlled him and his mother, the house staff still apparently being payed by him? But, oh! No! He couldn't dare even send Monoma a gift on his damm birthday..
Monoma mentally slapped himself, really? Was he getting upset over this? .. what kind of gift would All For One even send him? A quirk?
He scoffed, Hah, like he needed another! .. although it would actually probably be helpful, he needed something physical if he actually wanted to be recognised for anything..
Monoma turned over and stuffed his face into his pillow.
That got quite boring pretty fast, the fluffy cotton did not taste good either.
He suddenly pushed himself out of bed, throwing off his plush blankets to pace around his room. A habit he picked up when thinking too much,
As he paced he stopped in front of his desk, the moonlight shining through the crack in his curtains perfectly reflected on a polished knife on the table, seemingly taunting him.
Monoma let out a hollow laugh as he carefully trailed his fingers over it,
It was beyond stupid but Monoma had picked up an awful coping mechanism,
Sometimes when stress got too much, he would kill himself. Then when rewaking his head pounded too much for him to continue being stressed, he often used it to help himself actually get to sleep as his step mother would absolutely not let him take any kind of medication.
I mean, there was nothing wrong with that, right? He was immortal, it didn't really matter.
He traced the knife one more time before he walked back to his bed and flopped back on the soft plushed comfort. He wished his phone wasn't locked up at night,
He closed his eyes for about 20 minutes, it didn't work.
He got up in frustration and trudged over to his desk again, he pushed the knife out of his road, letting it fall onto the soft carpet below,
He flipped through the pile on his desk and pulled out a sketch book, grabbing a pencil he flipped open to an empty page.
He sketched his sister and himself, together, laughing.. like everything had been before society was ruined.
He remembered the screams from that day..
No matter how much he tried to forget, those memories were burned into his mind.
He closed his eyes, there was really no point in fighting the flashback.
~
Monoma had woken up on his tenth birthday, not in a way he was expecting,
Instead of cheers, or presents, or decorations.. he woke to screaming. Lots of screaming.
Monoma hugged his panda plush closer, yawning as he got out of bed,
He rubbed his eyes with his free hand, slowly walking towards his door, wondering what was happening.
When he opened his door and stepped into the hallway he did not expect to see his sister violently stabbing their mother.
She was screaming, she was in pain..
Monoma dropped his plush, what was he doing? Why was he running? He couldn't stop.
He ran with tears streaming down his face, he tackled his sister to the ground, off of their mum.
"Himiko!" He had cried out in fear, there was nothing but anger in his younger sister's eyes.
"Get off me, Neito-Kun." She snarled at him,
"No! What are you doing? You were hurting mama! Why would you do that?"
She looked up at him with a familiar hatred. One he had seen from his father many times.
"You're just like everyone else! No one wants to help a VILLAIN!"
She yelled at him the same way his dad did.. with a huge push she threw him off.
Monoma landed on his back, with a loud thud, everything hurt..
She picked up a knife and stood over him. "Mama is already dead." She spat.
Monoma looked over at his mother's lifeless body, tears welling up in his eyes again. "No.."
"And soon you will be too!"
He looked up at her in horror as she brought the knife down on him, he screamed and then everything went dark.
~
Monoma tapped the pencil against the desk, trying to ground himself.
The staff had taken his mum and put her in a pod, she was basically in a coma,
Not dead, but not alive either.
He found out he had an immortality quirk then, everything had hurt like hell when he woke up.
His dad refused to see him anymore, he hurt him if he tried.
Soon he had married another woman, his stepmother.
She was about as nasty as his dad.
Soon after, his dad had disappeared. And his stepmother - Yaeko Asano, had blamed him for the disappearance. Calling him a “cursed child” and blaming his villainous quirk.
He had always blamed himself too,
Until the USJ an further attacks on UA,
Apparently his dad had lumped together his sister and a bunch of other people and made a league of villains. He wondered if anyone there was manipulated into villainhood like his sister had been?
That was another reason he hated 1-A with a burning passion, it was people like them, who told him and his sister that they needed to be fixed, their attitude wasn’t normal, wasn’t right.
But deep down he knew that his hostility towards 1-A was just an act, somewhere to direct the burning self hatred inside him.
Maybe if he was stronger he could’ve saved his mother, maybe if he was more observant he could’ve pulled his sister away before she lost herself, maybe if he was smarter he would’ve realised his dad was a horrible person and he would’ve fought it!
Ha.. ha..
Fought?
Who was he kidding?
He could’ve never fought his dad, he could’ve never fought All For One him fucking self!
He wasn’t strong enough back then, wasn’t good enough. Hell, he still wasn’t. He was weak, pathetic.
At least he couldn’t die, didn’t make it any less painful though..
His sister thought he was dead. He wondered if she regrets it? Maybe, just maybe she did..
She probably wouldn’t though, who would miss him anyway? He wasn’t even strong enough to save his nine year old sister. He had failed as an older brother.
And a son, and a friend.. and a student, and a.. rival too. He failed at everything.
But he wouldn’t give into the darkness, he wouldn’t let society win. He would keep fighting, and hopefully one day be strong enough to save his sister, and maybe the other members of the league too?
He hoped to everything that the Monoma family wasn’t cursed to be villains.
He looked at the clock again, ugh.. Five AM already?
He had to be up in… 3 hours.
He groaned, forcibly pulling himself out of his self deprecating spiral and shoved his face into the pillow.
He hoped he could at least get one hour of sleep.