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Hourly Bruce Wayne's Ass 🍑 @hourlywayneass
another day, another moment for me to continue spreading the truth about our glorious and incredibly THICC icon 🙏
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the cake is real 🍑 @buttwayneluvr
@hourlywayneass here's your crown king 👑 thank you for all that you do for us believers of the Bruce Wayne ass agenda 🙏
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the b in bruce is @bigbuttwayne
@hourlywayneass those pics two hours ago were so delicious!!!! currently licking my screen ten thousand times 👁️👅👁️ the quality is so good, its like i have them here rn in my 🙌
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Hourly Bruce Wayne's Ass 🍑 @hourlywayneass
@bigbuttwayne I'm glad you liked them, friend!! Only the best for my fellow believers!!
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Hourly Bruce Wayne's Ass @hourlybwass
@hourlywayneass these pics weren't released by any media outlet in gotham, are you stalking mr wayne you two-bit copycat?
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Hourly Bruce Wayne's Ass 🍑 @hourlywayneass
@hourlybwass you can't even get any decent pictures to post of your own so don't come at me for providing the content *you* can't even deliver 😃
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darvey hent @not2face
@hourlywayneass you still think bruce wayne of all people has an ass? i feel so sorry for you, get on our levels and worship batman's ✨naturals✨ instead of someone who has his ass pumped with air
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Hourly Bruce Wayne's Ass 🍑 @hourlywayneass
@not2face not you again, EVERYBODY knows that batman's ass is padded to protect it from bullets 🙄 and at least my pics are quality unlike the 144p pictures of your fave cryptid on your acc
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Hourly Bruce Wayne's Ass @hourlybwass
@not2face @hourlywayneass you two are so pathetic when the two of you stole my ORIGINAL account idea!!!!
Clark would rather be anywhere right now than be stuck in Batman's bi-monthly report for the Justice League's finances. He still had terminally online randos to verbally beat the crap out of and a fanbase of 236-thousand to feed the sacred truth to. His hands, currently clasped together on top of the round table of the Watchtower's "war room" as Hal and Barry called it, itched to have his smartphone between them, thumbs forming sharp words to cut through the low self-esteem of the non-believers.
Especially those that forsake the truth of Bruce Wayne's derriere for Batman's .
For a man whose eyes could do so much more than just see things, Clark was in honest disbelief at how vocal these people were about their crumbs. Because, come on, how would anyone even know that Batman of all people would even have an ass that could rival Bruce Wayne's? He glanced at Batman who was standing in front of the projection screen, explaining something or the other about his report that Clark had tuned out ten minutes since it started. Clark didn't know Batman well — no one did, even after a decade and a half or so of working together — but he knew the same, if not just a microscopic bit more, as the regular civilian would.
Everybody knew that Batman typically fought crime in the dead of the night, in dark and damp alleyways with just the barest bits of light in them, in a predominantly black armoured suit, with a cape as black as the voids of space that covered up his entire body. It just didn't even make sense, and Clark has seen plenty of nonsensical stuff over the years of being a hero. He internally cursed the stray thought that reminded him of an argument he had not too long ago about how Batman's cape could outline his ass.
Batman currently had his back turned towards the rest of the League and Clark looked at him from top to bottom. Not that he could see much from the get-go with how his cape completely covers everything. But Clark wasn't going to deny whatever was going on underneath it though. Batman had broad shoulders, well-defined pectorals, a tight waist, thighs that Hal claimed were "thick with three c's" ( whatever that meant ), and an ass that everybody knows is padded because of Gotham rogues never seem to run out of bullets —
“Is there something you would like to add, Superman?” Batman’s modulated voice cut through his thoughts. “With how much you’ve been glaring at me, I’m sure you must have something to say about how most of the League's finances have been put to fixing the damages you cause.”
"It's not like there's anything else for me to say, Batman" Clark said, with a little too much force in his tone to his own liking. He winced at the realisation and immediately toned it down when he spoke again. "I'll try to limit the damage next time. Continue on with the report, don't mind me." he said, rubbing his temples with a sigh.
Batman stared at him for what seemed like forever before turning back to his report again. While he and the rest of the League were compliant with going back to the report, the man in green seated beside him — Hal Jordan — wasn't. There was a smirk to his lips as he leaned towards Clark, resting his chin on his hand as he asked, "What's wrong, Big Blue? Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today? Did a girl keep you up all night? "
Blood rushed to Clark's face as he hastily replied, "N-No! Nothing of the sort. It's just…" He glanced at Batman again, who has since turned his back to them to continue his report. "Civilian stuff. Work. That sort of… stuff."
"Wow, I can't believe that even the Superman has to keep a civilian identity." Hal snorted to himself. "Capitalism at its finest, am I right?"
Clark couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I like being able to afford food and clothes, Hal." he said. "Besides, it's not like the Fortress of Solitude is a valid home address for take-out and I do like my take-out meals after a long day at work."
Plus, it was easier to feed his obsession with Bruce Wayne in a city with great Wi-Fi and through his civilian identity and occupation as opposed to Kal-El, the Last Son of Krypton, thanks to Batman's "no metas" rule in Gotham, but Clark was content on keeping that part to himself. Besides, knowing Bruce Wayne's public reputation, as the only Gothamite in the group, Batman would give him That Look™ — the one he always has when Barry and Hal get into some shenanigans and is one minor inconvenience away from throwing himself into the frozen embrace of space.
He turned his attention back to the meeting yet he never got rid of the strange feeling that told him that Batman was looking at him. Though his head never faced him specifically at all, Clark just couldn't shake that feeling off. Was Batman really that angry about the finances? Clark really was trying his best. Besides, it was mostly Luthor's fault that one time two days ago.
He had been rushing to go to a Bruce Wayne cupsleeve event in Gotham when Luthor suddenly attacked him in the air in his toxic green and purple suit. In the end, Clark had won the battle and intended to clean up the whole mess it had caused. He planned to go to the cafe first so he could get an order down and the cupsleeve he had been dreaming about for months but when he got there after quickly changing into civilian wear, all the cupsleeves were already sold out but the Bruce themed drinks and dessert were still available.
Besides, Clark really did try to minimise the damages in that battle but Luthor didn't want to go down unless he was flung around like a ragdoll. He had even given Batman the kryptonite Luthor used after the fact, so he didn't really understand why Batman was, as Hal would probably put it, "bitching" about this when he gets a priceless, extraterrestrial stone in return. And Clark was the biggest loser in the end because he had to buy the cupsleeve at a marked up price online!
He was still so angry about the whole ordeal that his hands on the table clenched into tight fists at the memory. He could send the invoice to Luthor as compensation for his pain! But that would give Luthor a way to get to him. Clark knows that Bruce Wayne has connections with Lex Luthor through their social circles and their business dealings, but if Luthor finds out that Superman is a major Bruce Wayne fan, there's a possibility that he might go for the Gothamite instead just to get to him. It's already bad enough that Brucie goes through so much from the crap Gotham's villains pull. If only Batman didn't have that "no metas" in Gotham rule, then he'd be running his ass ragged trying to be Bruce Wayne's knight in shining armour.
Clark let out a defeated sigh, his fists unclenching as he leaned back against his seat, slouching in his seat a bit. There was no winning this battle, but he could always vent by being a little bit more destructive of Luthor's supersuit the next time they fight. No civilian would be none the wiser and it might fuel Luthor's weird obsession and hatred towards him even more, but who cares? Clark had to tap into his personal savings just to outbid that stupid little BirdBrain52766 who wanted to buy the cupsleeve. If Clark was a little bit more heavy-handed than usual in beating Luthor the next time they meet, then that was just proper compensation for his grievances.
"Maybe we should end the meeting here." Batman sighed, a gloved hand reaching up to rub the bridge of his nose. "I'll just send a summary of the report to your—"
Before he could even finish his words, Clark was already out of the doors, barely hearing Diana's, " Maybe there was an emergency he needed to get to ." to Batman. And there was an emergency he needed to attend to. There were citizens in the Philippines who needed to be saved from a rising flood, but there were also idiots on the internet who needed to be saved from their anti-Bruce Wayne's ass mindset.
He could always apologise to Batman for his behaviour some other time.
Daily Superman's Hands @superhands
Everyday, I am grateful that it is @official_supes who holds the weight of the world with his hands. Bless those hands 😔🙏
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Green Lantern @official_gl
@superhands So, what am I now? Chopped liver?
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The Flash @official_flash
@official_gl Eh, I had my money on Wonder Woman but Superman is OK, I guess…
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Green Lantern @official_gl
@official_flash Wow, no words.
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hold me superman @stronkmanlove
@superhands I agree with you, admin! I feel so much safer knowing that Superman is out there, using these glorious hands to punch little shits like Luthor 🙏
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hand freaks dni!! @superanti420691
@superhands u r all gross nd deesgusting go get a life supreman will nerve notice u u don't even know what his hands were touching what if he has alien grems on them
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Daily Superman's Hands @superhands
@superanti420691 Ever heard of proper spelling and punctuation? Superman will never notice you too, weirdo. I've met my fair share of antis here, but you're just embarrassing.
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hand freaks dni!! @superanti420691
@superhands dont u know how to read!?!?!?!? how dare you interact with me!!!!!! weirdo!!!!!!!! I'll report you and get you suspended!!!!!!
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Daily Superman's Hands @superhands
@superanti420691 I'd normally just block people like you and move on, but not today. So try it, bitch. Get me suspended and we'll see what happens next.
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can't catch these hands @herofan3425
@superhands GO AND BEAT THEIR ASS ADMIN!!!!! DEFEND THE TRUTH OF SUPERMAN'S HANDS!!!!
Dinner was and always has been an awkward affair for Bruce. Most of his time was spent working in the Batcave that he sometimes forgets that the manor actually does come equipped with a dining hall to eat in, and tonight was also one of those nights where Alfred managed to convince Jason to come over for a meal with the entire family. So far, the night has not descended into chaos but there was a niggling feeling behind his ears that told him something was going to happen real soon.
"So, anything interesting happen while I was away?" Dick asked, likely in an attempt to lighten the awkward air that always seemed present at the table. "Tim? Jason? Damian?" He turned to his younger brothers as he asked, hoping that they would go along with him. Seeing no response, however, he turned his attention to the one person who would. "B? What about you?"
There was nothing interesting for Bruce to talk about, he realised as he thought about what to say. Alfred had strictly forbidden conversations regarding their other lives from the dinner table and he hadn't made a mockery of himself in front of the board members yet so far this week so there was nothing to joke about. A dark shadow fell on his face as he remembered the fight he was still in the middle of when Alfred called him up for dinner. That was a topic that was far too taboo, meaning there was nothing that happened to him so far to speak of.
After all, he couldn't tell his children that he planned on hacking into a random Twitter account and deleting that person's account himself for speaking blasphemy against Superman before patrol.
“Well, since no one is going to say anything, I'd like to talk about something that happened to me instead.” Dick said in a sing-song voice. He looked around to check for Alfred before pulling out his phone, scrolling through it a bit, then showing his siblings the new bright blue checkmark sitting beside the display name of his Nightwing account on a certain social media platform. “A certain little someone's Twitter account just got verified today!”
Jason immediately burst out, “That's not fair! I can't believe your Nightwing account got verified before Jason Todd did!” while Dick cackled in pure delight which immediately cut off into an indignant sputter when the larger of the two flung a piece of his dinner at him.
“Oh, speaking of Twitter, I saw a Superman fan account fighting with an anti-Superman account earlier. A few people I follow were live-tweeting the whole affair." Tim spoke up as he played around with his food. "It was pretty hard to miss."
Bruce had never had many opportunities to say that he felt his blood run cold from just a few words from his children and yet, this was one of them. He tried to compose himself and cast his third son a glance, trying to gauge his reaction about the issue. Then, he looked at his eldest. While Dick did not seem to like Superman at first back when he was still a kid, amongst all his kids, he was the one who seemed to tolerate the alien the most.
"I think I saw that too," Jason suddenly piped up. "Roy thought it was another Luthor stunt when I showed him."
“I was keeping track of the argument before dinner was called. I was cheering for the Superman fan account to win.” Dick added, scrolling through his phone. “I’m not seeing any replies from the host of the account since their last reply an hour ago but other Superman fans have kept up the slack in their absence.”
Bruce tried to keep his voice neutral. “You follow Superman fan accounts on Twitter?” he asked his eldest, keeping his eyes down on his plate to avoid giving anything away. He silently prayed it wasn't the fan account he was running because now he has to lock in as the need to take this secret to his grave intensified.
“Are you serious, old man?” Jason interjected with a roll of his eyes but with no heat in his tone of voice. “Considering Dickiebird here is named after a legendary Kryptonian figure, it shouldn’t come off as a surprise that he’s a fan of the guy let alone following the fan accounts dedicated to keeping track of the Man of Steel.”
“Oh, come on. I like the guy but I’m nowhere near as dedicated as some of these fan accounts are.” Dick said with a laugh. “Remember that one fan account of Bruce’s that posts hourly photos of his butt? Superman has those types of fan accounts too. His smile, his curl, his hands .”
Keeping his heart rate and expression steady had never felt like an intense battle for Bruce before. He wondered if it was way too late for him to jump out of the window right now and book it straight off the nearest cliff he could find. No, if he died before his children, they’d find out his secret Superman fan account and Bruce would have to come back from the dead to haunt his children into silence.
It’s decided. He would have to outlive his own children.
Unfortunately, his children are likely plotting his early demise as Damian suddenly blurted out, “Wait, Father has a fan account ? And dedicated to what? ”
Bruce suddenly erupted into a coughing fit as the water he was drinking went hurtling down the wrong tube in his throat. No one paid him any mind as he struggled, all paying attention to the family’s youngest after his question. He shot his youngest son a glance and wondered to himself if he knew. Of all the children who would be the first to know about it, he never expected it to be Damian who seemed to have a dislike for social media in general.
Clearly, he underestimated those teachers back at the League of Assassins.
Tim nodded his head in response to Damian’s questions. “You have no idea the sheer amount of fan accounts dedicated to Bruce are.” he said, leaning back against his chair with a huff. “It’s not uncommon for fan accounts popping up dedicated to his something . I remember passing across an hourly fan account dedicated to the black turtleneck he wears outside.”
Once Bruce got his coughing fit in check, he realised that maybe he misinterpreted Damian’s question. It wasn’t about the fan account that he runs, but rather the fan accounts dedicated to him . Also, did he really wear black turtlenecks in public that much to warrant the creation of an hourly account dedicated to it? Maybe it’s time he should ask Alfred for advice on how to add some variety to his wardrobe.
But as dinner continued on then finally reached its end, Bruce can be certain about one thing. His children knew nothing about his Superman fan account but he must not let his guard down. After all, secrets were scarce in a family who knew how to obtain them without going through you. It didn’t help that these children were trained by Bruce himself so he should set the example of keeping his secrets so tightly shut that no one but him would ever know it. The world will crumble into dust but no one will ever figure out the truth.
Once alone in the privacy of his own bedroom and settled in for the night, Bruce immediately took out his phone to see if that stupid troll was still on a rampage about how Superman was a plague upon humanity. If people thought Bruce was above bringing up hours-old drama, they were dead wrong.
No one can talk shit about Superman on his Superman fan account and think they’ll get away to live to tell the tale.