Work Text:
Steve knew the old adage: never work with kids or animals. It’s supposed to be bad for his career, but he’s done fine regardless. He’s got a shelf of Golden Globes and Emmys to show for it.
This time, he’s aiming for an Oscar. Well, not purposefully; that would jinx him, but the film has all the heavyweights. It would be crazy not to be at least nominated.
He’s reading through his lines and waiting for the next scene to be set up when he hears a commotion. A bunch of the crew are circling someone who just showed up on set, but he can’t see who it is.
“What’s going on over there?” Steve tilts his head to his costar, Robin.
They’ve been working together since they were young child stars. Steve was on the sitcom path while Robin starred in a Disney series, and they came together to shoot their first film - Kismet, as Robin has called it in many interviews. They became fast friends and will always say yes when the other calls for a favor. This movie was a Steve favor.
“I don’t know.” Robin never looks up from her phone. “Hey, do you think I should color my hair?” She flips her phone over to show Steve a picture of a random person. He’s assuming this is the hair color in question.
“Maybe wait until we’re done shooting this movie first.” He slips out of his chair while she goes back to her phone. He’s more interested in finding out what’s going on on the other side of the room.
While he’s weaving past some of the crew and heading to the group gathered near the craft’s services table, he hears his name being called out.
“Steve! Hey, come meet your costar.” The 2nd assistant director waves him over, and a small gap appears in the crowd.
It’s the chimpanzee they’re bringing in for the laboratory scenes. Steve immediately smiles because he’s been waiting for this day since they started shooting three weeks ago. He loves it when there are animals on set.
Most actors hate working with animals. They never hit their marks. They make all kinds of noises during shoots, causing way more reshoots than usual. There’s always piss and poop everywhere. But Steve? Steve has the best days with the animals.
“Who’s this little lady?” Steve asks as he approaches the circle of bystanders.
“Steve, this is Tina and Eddie, her handler.”
Steve looks up to meet the eyes of the man holding the chimp’s hand, and he shouldn’t be surprised to see Eddie Munson, but for some reason, he still is.
Eddie’s been in the business for years. One of the best. Want a well-trained animal? Then you call Eddie Munson. The first time Steve met Eddie was about four years ago. It was on the set of one of Steve’s blockbusters when they needed rats for a scene.
Eddie had been professional but also charming and flirtatious. Steve fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.
They had a passionate secret relationship afterwards over the course of two rocky years. Steve was shooting one of his sequels in Atlanta in the interim and then had to jump on a press tour, so they only got to see each other a few weeks at a time.
Their distance was a pain point for both of them, but Eddie hated it the most. It inevitably broke them up. This is the first time they’ve seen each other since that drunken kiss they shared 8 months ago in the men’s room at an industry party.
Steve hadn’t expected to see Eddie at the event. So when his best friend pulled him behind a cardboard cutout stand to point the man out, Steve ended up drowning his painful pining in a gallon of alcohol.
The two men then “ran” into each other late in the night in the hallway outside the furthest bathroom from the ballroom. Or maybe they watched each other all night and secretly stalked one another throughout the event, and when Steve dipped out of the ballroom, Eddie immediately followed him.
“What are you doing here?” Steve slurs and stumbles into the bathroom, Eddie hot on his tail.
“I was invited.”
“Are you following me? ” Steve backs away from his ex-boyfriend. The scent of the man’s cologne fills Steve’s nostrils, and it makes him nostalgic.
“I think you’re following me. Are you lost, little boy? ” Eddie continues moving closer. It reminds Steve of an animal stalking its prey.
“What do you want, Eddie? ” Steve knows what he wants.
“I don’t know. ” Eddie takes the last remaining steps into Steve’s space, crowding him until he’s backed against the sink. “You look good enough to eat.”
“ So taste me. ” Before Steve can lift his chin in defiance, Eddie crashes his lips on Steve’s.
The rest is a bit blurry for Steve. He knows they only kissed, nothing further than that, but that may have been because someone interrupted them. They parted after that, and Steve went home to wallow in heartache and hangovers.
Now, Eddie stands on Steve’s set, holding the hand of the animal Steve will be acting with tomorrow. They’ve had to pretend a lot over the years, but this is the first time they have to pretend post-breakup.
If Steve wants to win an Oscar for this movie, he might as well start right here and now.
“Nice to see you again, Mr. Munson.” Steve juts his hand out and plasters on his award-winning smile.
“Uh,” Eddie clearly wasn’t expecting Steve’s reaction, and he stumbles a little on reciprocating Steve’s handshake. “Yeah, good to see you too, St- Mr. Harrington.”
“Eddie and I worked together on Midnight. He was our famous rat man. So, this is Tina. Nice to meet you, young lady.”Steve bends his knees and ducks down to Tina’s level. He purposefully avoids glancing at Eddie. “I guess we’re going to be working together.” He offers her his hand, allowing her to take it and inspect it before she lifts it to her nose to smell him.
“That’s great. Then you two are old hats at this. Steve, Eddie wanted to bring Tina today to let you two get comfortable before tomorrow’s shoot.”
“That’s a great idea. Do you need me for a bit? I could take Tina to my trailer to hang out.” Steve pushes himself to his feet and continues to avoid looking at Eddie.
“You’re good for about 40 minutes. We’ll come get you when we’re ready for you.”
“Cool, you wanna come hang out with me, Tina?” Steve offers the chimp his hand, and she reaches for it, holding it like she’s still holding Eddie’s. “Follow me.”
He knows this is a terrible idea. Taking Eddie to his trailer is a really dumb idea. Even though they won’t technically be alone, it’s not like Tina’s going to rat them out.
Steve leads them through the set, stopping every few feet to let someone say hi to Tina, and then they go outside. When they make it past the stage opening, Tina crawls up to Eddie to cling around his neck, letting him carry her the rest of the way.
“Steve, we don’t have to-,” Eddie cuts himself off and sighs.
“No, you brought her so we could get acquainted. That’s what we’re going to do. I figured there would be fewer distractions and people interrupting us if we went to my trailer.”
“Yeah, ok.”
They walk the rest of the way in silence. Steve doesn’t know what to say. They didn’t communicate after the party, no texts or phone calls, and he doesn’t know if he should acknowledge it.
Maybe Eddie regretted it. Steve doesn’t think his heart could handle knowing that, though, so he’ll keep pretending he doesn’t remember the way Eddie felt pressed against him. Or the way Eddie sucks on Steve’s bottom lip. He’ll keep shoving everything all the way down like he’s been doing for two years.
“This is me,” Steve says as he leads them up the stairs of his trailer, opens the door, and motions them inside.
Eddie’s holding Tina close to his neck like she’s his life raft right now, and he might float away without her. He looks uncomfortable, so different from how he used to look in Steve’s spaces.
“Want something to drink? I have Dr Pepper.” He doesn’t even drink it but always requests it, just in case.
“Yeah, sure.” Eddie turns on his feet, looking around the small space. “You didn’t decorate this one.”
It’s not a question, just an observation, but Steve hears what Eddie’s trying to say. Steve used to bring a few things from home to make him comfortable. Usually, photos of the people most important to him, but also his Nintendo Switch, the latest cookbook he’s trying recipes out of, and his favorite candles. But he doesn’t bother anymore. Hasn’t brought anything to set on the last two things he shot. He can’t bring himself to remember how every photo he had included Eddie Munson. Or how he would test his recipes on Eddie, deeming them a success when the man cleared his plate. Everything reminded him of what he had and subsequently lost because of his career.
“I’m not in here all that much.” It’s true. He avoids being in the space as much as possible, opting instead to stay on set or hang out in Robin’s trailer.
“Oh, how come? You used to love being in your trailers.”
Steve hands the man a cold can of Dr Pepper and tries to come up with an answer that doesn’t involve telling him the truth. He used to love being there because that’s where Eddie was. It was where they could be free to be themselves, hidden from prying eyes and snooping coworkers. It was their secret hideaway. The space where Steve fell in love.
“Things change, I guess. Sit down.”
Eddie doesn’t push the subject. He takes Steve’s answer, whether believing him or not, and sits on the small couch against the wall.
“I didn’t realize I was expecting it to smell like those candles you always had.” Eddie smiles, but his expression is a little sad, like he’s remembering what it used to be like.
“Oh, yeah.” Steve sits on the other couch cushion, ensuring there’s enough room between the two of them to avoid accidentally touching. “I stopped buying them.”
Eddie furrows his brows like that doesn’t make sense, but he doesn’t ask Steve to clarify. “Hmm, funny.”
“Why?”
“You stopped, and I started. I always have a few at home. I don’t know, I guess I just got used to them.” Eddie’s tone sounds a little melancholy, much like Steve’s heart is feeling.
A flicker of something triggers in Steve’s chest. Maybe Eddie misses Steve as much as Steve misses Eddie.
Tina takes that moment to crawl off Eddie’s lap and start exploring the trailer.
“Is that ok?” Eddie asks.
“Of course. I don’t think there’s anything in here that she could hurt herself on.”
The two men watch the chimpanzee explore the room. She crawls up the nearby table and jumps onto the countertop under a window.
“How have you been?” Eddie’s the first to break the silence.
“Good, you?”
“Good, too. Nothing to complain about.”
“How’s Wayne?” Steve’s been worried about Eddie’s uncle’s health. The last time he’d seen the man, he was waiting on lung cancer results.
“Oh, he’s good. Wow, I just realized how long we haven’t spoken. He got his results. They were positive, but we caught it soon enough for them to do surgery. They cut the cancer out, and he’s fine now. He still goes in every six months to check, but he’s been clear since the surgery.”
“That’s good, yeah I was worried about him. I’m glad to hear he’s ok.” He exhales and can feel himself relax. He had been worried something happened and he hadn’t been able to be there for Eddie.
“You didn’t need to worry, Steve. “
“I know, but it’s Wayne. He’s important to you.” It’s as simple as that.
Eddie sighs and pushes himself to his feet. “Yeah, and you don’t need to worry about that. I’m not your problem anymore.”
“You were never my problem, Eddie.” Steve stays seated, unsure of what his body might do if he stands up.
“Yeah, ok. Come on, Tina.” He scoops the chimp into his arms. “We gotta go. It was-, we’ll see you tomorrow.” And he darts towards the door.
“Wait, Eddie?” Steve jumps up and reaches for Eddie’s elbow, but he slips away from his grasp. “What did I- are you upset?”
Eddie cradles Tina to his neck, where she’s wrapped her arms around him, and he pauses in front of the door. “I wish I was as over this as you apparently are. You’ve so very clearly moved on.” He motions around the trailer. “Erased me like I never existed. I’m happy for you that I was so easy to forget. But that’s not- I guess you were bigger in my life.”
“Eddie-,” Steve tries to interrupt, but Eddie barrels through.
“Stupid of me to think I could show up today and you’d see me, and I don’t know, miss me as much as I miss you.” He wipes the back of his hand across his cheek, breaking Steve’s heart at the sight. “I wasn’t scheduled to bring her. Jeff was, but when I saw who was starring in the movie, I thought maybe this was my sign. But it’s painfully obvious that I’m a fucking idiot. I gotta go.”
He shoves the door open and jumps quickly down the stairs before Steve’s legs get the message to follow.
“Eddie!” Steve calls out, racing to follow the man.
“Everything ok, Mr Harrington?” Will, one of the PAs asks from the bottom of Steve’s stairs.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Did you see Mr Munson and Tina out here?”
“They went down that way.” Will points down the row of trailers in the direction of the studio exit.
“Shit, ok, thanks.”
“Do you need them?” Will grabs his walkie from his waistband. “I can call for someone to get their attention.”
Steve pauses and thinks through what he’s expecting to do. Eddie’s clearly upset and probably won’t even listen to Steve, no matter what he says. Steve’s award-winning acting has royally fucked him over.
“No, thank you, though. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Are they almost ready for me?”
“About 10 more minutes. Are you going to stay here or head back to set?”
“Do you know if Robin is in her trailer?”
“Let me find out.” Will clicks his radio on. “Does anyone have eyes on Bird?”
“She’s back in her trailer. Over.” Will’s walkie responds.
“Thanks, I’m going over there.”
“Ok, I’ll let everyone know. King is on the move to Bird’s trailer.”
Steve hates that code name, but not enough to complain. “Thanks.” He squeezes Will’s shoulder in passing and rushes to Robin’s trailer. He needs her advice.
“You took him to your trailer?” Robin tosses one of her decorative throw pillows at him as he paces in the small kitchenette.
“Stop, I know I’m an idiot, thank you very much. I didn’t think it through, ok? I was trying to act like everything was fine. I didn’t mean to act that hard.” He’s fucking up his hair, he knows it, but he can’t stop running his hands through it.
“Then what happened?”
“Then, I asked him about Wayne. You know I’ve been worried about him.”
“Yeah, and?” She tucks her feet under her on the couch and watches him move back and forth.
“He’s fine, had surgery to remove cancer, but he’s fine now.”
“That’s good, and?” She waves her hand at him.
“And then,” he pauses, remembering the tear that slipped down Eddie’s cheek. “He got upset or was upset, I’m still not sure, and said he had to leave. Picked up Tina and stood at the door, and basically told me I was an asshole. Then he left.”
“He called you an asshole?”
“Well, no. He didn’t come out and say ‘you’re an asshole,’ but it felt like it. I feel like an asshole.”
“What did he actually say?”
“That he missed me. Jeff was supposed to bring Tina, but Eddie swapped. He wanted to see me. I don’t know if he wants to get back together or what, but he said he buys my candles.” She scrunches her face at him. “You remember? The blue ones? I used to have them in my trailer?”
“Oh yeah, that smell reminds me of you two.”
“Yeah, same. Which is why I stopped buying them. But he said he started buying them. Has them at home like he missed me. And he thought I erased him from my life. Which I guess I did, but because it hurt. He broke up with me. Not the other way around.” Robin knows she was there to help Steve pick up the pieces. “What did he expect me to do? Keep myself surrounded by everything that reminds me of him? How would I ever get over him?”
“Come here,” she opens her arms and Steve slumps easily into her comforting hug. “Sounds like you two have some unfinished business.”
“I don’t know what to do now. He never called me or texted me after that party, and now he shows up on set and tells me he misses me. He thinks I don’t miss him too. That every time I hear someone playing Metallica I don’t think of him. When I see those PAs playing Dungeons and Dragons on set, that I don’t want to call him and introduce him.Because I know he’d love the shit outta them. That I kept that jar of hand salve for the times he had a water shoot, and his hands would get so dried out they hurt. He broke up with me, Rob. Why am I now the bad guy?”
She’s rubbing circles into his back and rocking them back and forth gently. “You’re not, bud. You know he didn’t break it off because he didn’t love you. Long distance is hard, especially when you enjoy spending time with them.”
Robin knows that better than anyone. Her longtime girlfriend, journalist Nancy Wheeler, lives in New York City. Robin usually avoids taking jobs in California, but again, this was a Steve favor, and she’s only scheduled on set for 6 weeks.
A knock on the door breaks the moment. “Miss Buckley, Mr Harrington, they’re ready for you.”
“We’ll be right there,” Robin calls out. “You’re gonna be ok. I’ll come over after work, and we’ll order so much food that we won’t have to leave your place for days. Maybe add some alcohol to the mix.”
Steve loves this woman. “I have to be here at 5:30 tomorrow, so let’s save the booze for tomorrow night. Then, I can sleep off the hangover over the weekend. Especially if I have to see Eddie again tomorrow.”
“You got it, no booze, but yes to gluttony.”
Steve just left the hair and makeup trailer where he spent the last three hours getting ready for this morning’s shoot. He’s exhausted, hates getting up for these early morning calls but he admits the makeup looks good.
Robin crashed at his place last night after eating their weight in delivery food. He was grateful to have her there. He spent the entire afternoon stressing over his interaction with Eddie and what he was going to do when he saw him again today. She was his voice of reason, helping him sort through talking points and things to say. So when he asked her if she wanted a ride into the studio that morning, she reminded him that “you made me abandon my girlfriend, don’t make me punch you in the face, 4:30 is too fucking early.” She was right.
“Good morning, Mr Harrington.” Will jogs up to Steve, a little out of breath. “I’m just letting you know Tina’s here. They’re upfront in case you wanted to say hello.”
“Oh, thanks.”
“No problem,” the young man smiles and jogs away in another direction. Steve wonders if the studio should just get Will a scooter or roller skates.
Now that he knows Eddie’s on set, he’s suddenly nervous. Yesterday was the perfect setup to play it off. Being surprised at seeing his ex-boyfriend was one thing, but knowing the man is upfront is an entirely different situation.
He really wants to run his fingers through his hair but he’s pretty sure he’ll get yelled at for ruining all of Max’s hard work. She’s a fantastic makeup artist, and she spent hours making the prosthetics that are stuck to him. Let alone all of the work this morning to get his hair to look like it’s covered in blood and guts.
He exhales deeply, and heads to craft’s services before risking the interaction with Eddie. He needs caffeine to prepare for this. He doesn’t think they’ll get into a fight, yelling wasn’t really their forte. Avoidance was more their style.
During their relationship, if the two of them ever got on the cusp of an argument, one of them would inevitably back down. Sometimes it was Steve, and other times it was Eddie. It wasn’t an equal 50/50, but it was often enough that it became a crutch. Instead of fighting it out, they’d just shut their feelings down.
Steve thinks they should’ve fought harder. Maybe they’d still be together if one of them would’ve said, “No, I want to talk about this.”
But instead, when the distance became a problem again one weekend, Eddie said, “Maybe we should stop trying to make this work.”
And Steve stupidly said, “Ok.”
Maybe Eddie hadn’t meant it. Maybe it was the opening to a bigger conversation, an opportunity to work through a compromise, but Steve didn’t want to make Eddie unhappy. So if he wanted out, he wouldn’t make him stay.
“Morning.”
Steve’s pulled from his thoughts by Erica, their 1st AD.
“Hey.” He gives her a friendly nod and fills up a small cup of coffee from the carafe.
“You look like shit, and not all because of Max.”
“Oh, thanks,” he loves working with this woman.
She is scarier than her small stature would imply but fiercely loyal to those she cares about. He’s seen her fight for crew members to keep their jobs when the higher-ups give some bullshit decree. He’s also seen her take an asshole down a peg or two when someone’s ego thinks they’re better than anyone else.
“What’s wrong with you?” She tucks her arms across her chest and inspects him carefully.
“Nothing, just early morning for all this.” He waves his hands around himself, hoping she understands.
“No, I’ve seen you after early calls, this is something else. You gonna be ok today?”
She’s too perceptive for her own good. “I’m fine, I promise.”
“You get to work with the chimp today. Excited?”
“Yeah, Tina’s sweet. Met her yesterday when Eddie came by.”
“Eddie Munson?”
“Mhmm.”
Steve doesn’t know if Erica is aware of the men’s history. He’s not out, technically. He likes to keep his personal life out of the limelight. It bodes better for his relationships if the paparazzi aren’t hiding in bushes outside of their dates.
He knows Hollywood has changed a lot since he started his career as a kid, but he’s still nervous to tell the world that he’s bisexual. He’s worried he wouldn’t be taken seriously as a leading man. That somehow he’d be turned down from roles because he wasn’t “straight” enough. Which is kind of ridiculous, but studio heads will believe anything if someone starts it off with “audiences…”
But Erica was on the set of Midnight when the two met, and they did a terrible job of hiding their flirting. Once they were officially together, they had a much better system built in place to hide their relationship. But before that? It was the wild, wild west of hormones.
“How is Eddie?” Steve thinks she’s fishing.
“Fine, I guess. He’s here. Will told me he’s upfront with Tina. If you wanted to go, say hi.”
“Yeah, why don’t we go do that.” And she smiles wide, like a Disney villain coming up with an evil plan, and hooks her arm around his to tug him along.
He doesn’t bother to fight her. She’ll win. So he sips his coffee, avoiding messing up the fake dirt on his face, and follows her to the offices at the set’s entrance.
She’s grinning when she steps into the waiting room but comes to an abrupt stop. “Who are you?”
“Jeff,” Steve supplies.
“Hey, man.” He’s giving Steve the most apologetic face he’s ever seen, as if he wishes he wasn’t the man standing there, either.
“Where’s Eddie?” Erica crosses her arms and stares the man down, not noticing the chimpanzee sitting in the corner.
“Something came up,” Jeff’s eyes flick to Steve briefly.
“Well, there goes my entertainment for the morning. I’ll see you out there, Steve.” And she stomps away, leaving the two men with similar confused expressions on their faces.
“Hey, man. Good to see you. You too, Tina.” He gives her a wiggle of his fingers.
“Yeah, you look kinda a mess, gotta be honest.”
“Oh, yeah.” Steve forgot how much makeup he was wearing. “For today’s shoot. I guess Eddie didn’t want to see me again, huh?”
Jeff knows. Jeff knows everything, much like Robin does. Jeff is Eddie’s best friend, the man he tells everything.
“Sorry,” and he truly looks it.
“It’s ok, I kinda wanted to talk to him, but I get it. I don’t think he realizes this, but I miss him a lot. It was nice seeing him yesterday. Even if it was just a few minutes. I’m gonna head out to the stage. I’ll see you later.” All the anxiety he’d been feeling, worrying about what to say to Eddie, bleeds through him, evaporating into a hole in his chest.
“Um, Steve?” Jeff takes a cautious step forward. “You should tell him that. He doesn’t-,” he cuts himself off with a shake of his head. “Just think about it.”
“Yeah, ok.”
“He’d really be happy to hear it.”
Jeff’s tone makes Steve pause. Eddie did leave yesterday, completely misreading Steve’s actions, assuming he didn’t miss him. Then he spent the entire evening probably thinking Steve was over him. He probably woke up and couldn’t bear the idea of seeing Steve again, so he asked Jeff to cover for him. How could he not realize Steve misses him, too? Especially after that night at the party.
“Mr Harrington? We’re ready for you.” Will’s head pops out of the hallway.
“Yep, I’m coming. Thanks, Jeff.”
If Steve had thought he was exhausted this morning, it would have been nothing compared to how he is feeling now.
“You still want me to come over?” Robin’s head is sticking into the hair and makeup trailer while Steve gets his prosthetics removed.
“Naw, I’m going straight to bed.”
“Well, good shoot today. I saw the scenes with Tina. If the academy doesn’t weep at that, then it’s totally rigged. Text me if you need anything.”
“Thanks, I will.” He waves a hand over his head and hears the door click behind her.
“Was that the monkey?” Max asks while carefully dabbing away at his shoulder.
“Chimpanzee, yeah.”
“I heard Eddie Munson was on set yesterday. Someone saw him coming out of your trailer. Just like old times, huh?”She snickers, and he should’ve seen this coming.
“It wasn’t even remotely like old times. He brought Tina by to meet me, and then he left.”
“Uh-huh, sure.”
Max knows all about Eddie. Max also worked on the set of Midnight as an assistant coordinator, a job her stepbrother graciously got for her. Where she got to watch said stepbrother get hit on and flirt with the weird animal handler.
“You going to family dinner this weekend?” She’s sticking her tongue out, working the glue off his skin.
“Not if I can help it.”
He hates those dinners. Watching his dad gloat about Steve’s accomplishments, it seems as if somehow Richard Harrington is the reason Steve is successful. It obviously had nothing to do with his mom, who helped him rehearse lines and took him to his acting classes when he was younger. She was the one that encouraged him, protected him, and looked after him, all while Dick was sleeping with his assistant.
Sharon Harrington passed away 9 years ago, missing out on most of the awards Steve’s won since then. Dick remarried 3 years later to the one and only Susan Mayfield, Max’s lovely mother. Steve doesn’t know what she sees in him.
“Mom won’t leave me alone about it. I’ve missed the last 6, and apparently, your dad is on her ass about it.”
“Ugh,” he groans. “Fine, I’ll go with you, but we’re coming up with an air-tight excuse to leave early.”
“Deal. Ok, this is the last one, and then we both can get the fuuuuuck out of here.” She sighs heavily, sets the last prosthetic carefully down, and then spins in her stool like she’s being released from a tightly wound rubber band.
“You seeing Lucas later?” He kicks the corner of her stool, nudging her gently.
“Maybe, what’s it to you?”
“Just curious.” He likes Lucas and is really happy she is giving him a chance.
“Are you seeing Eddie later?” She teases in a high-pitched whine.
“No, Max.” She straightens up and clearly hears the seriousness of his tone.
“What happened?”
“Nothing,” he gives her a sad smile. “He looked good, though. Until I made him cry.”
“What?”
“I didn’t do it on purpose. But he said he missed me, so I’ve got that going for me. I saw Jeff this morning. He said something that made me think maybe- I don’t know.”
He hasn’t decided how he wants to approach Eddie. He knows he should probably explain himself at least; he can’t stand the thought of Eddie hating him for something that isn’t even true.
“I’m sorry, but aren’t you the guy that basically yelled at me when I dumped Lucas, telling me to pull my head out of my ass? And now you’re-? What? A total loser who can’t follow his own advice? Dude, pull your head out of your ass and call that nerdy dork. You two were so gross. I hated seeing how happy you were. Buuuut, you don’t deserve to be unhappy.”
“This sounds an awful lot like a little sister pep talk right now.” And he’s biting back a grin because Max never does anything like this.
“Don’t push it, Harrington.” She stands up with a roll of her eyes. “I’m leaving. You do what you want. Text me later with whatever our excuse is for Sunday.”
“Ok,” he moves to his feet and stretches his arms high over his head. He’d been sitting in that chair longer than he thought. “Tell Lucas I said hi.” He tosses a wink over his shoulder and steps out of the trailer. He can hear her yelling at him through the door.
He decides he has a stop he has to make before heading home.
Steve rings the doorbell before awkwardly shoving his hands into his pockets and fidgets with a ball of lint he finds tucked deep into his right pocket. He’s startled when the door flings open, exposing a disheveled-looking Eddie Munson.
Eddie takes a surprised step backward, clearly not expecting to see Steve on his doorstep.
“Steve? What are you doing here?”
What is he doing here? He hadn’t thought this interaction through completely; he had just taken Max’s advice to heart.
Now that he’s standing here, taking in the bloodshot eyes and stained t-shirt of the man he still loves, he realizes he should’ve fought all those times before. He should’ve dug his nails into this man and never let him go.
“I miss you, too. I stopped buying those candles because the scent reminded me of you. I don’t bring pictures to the set anymore because everything I wanted to be reminded of had you in it. I don’t cook anymore, Eds, b-because you’re not there to eat it.” He’s trying to hold it together, but he can feel the walls crumbling down. “When I saw you at that party, it felt like losing you all over again. I miss you, Eddie. I’m sorry it looked like I didn’t care. I cared too much. It hurt having the ghost of you in every corner of my life.” He feels a tear slipping down his cheek and tries to catch it with the back of his hand.
Eddie’s standing there staring at Steve in disbelief. He’s not moving, not speaking, not acknowledging anything that Steve just blurted out. As each second ticks by and they stare at each other in silence, Steve gets more and more self-conscious.
Maybe he shouldn’t be here. Maybe this was a dumb idea, and Max was right. He’s a total loser.
He’s still rolling the tiny ball of lint between his fingers in his pocket, trying to channel his nerves into the motion.
He opens his mouth, trying to come up with something to say, but shuts it again when he realizes he’s already said it all.
“This was stupid,” he sighs and turns away, defeated.
“W-wait, Steve, wait.”
Steve’s heart drops, too scared to turn around so he keeps his eyes down on the walkway beneath his feet.
“Do you mean it?”
“What?” He spins around because how could Eddie ask such a ridiculous question.
“I’m just- I don’t- where is this coming from?”
“What? You- you said all that stuff in my trailer. This was my version. Do you not believe me?” He can’t feel the tips of his fingers. This entire thing is falling apart.
“Yes, I believe you, I do, Steve.” Eddie takes a step forward. “I’m just surprised, I guess. I thought you moved on. I’m trying to wrap my head around this. Do you want to come in? You’ll have to excuse the mess. I was kinda upset about seeing my ex yesterday.”
“Oh, were you?” He’s trying really hard not to sound sarcastic.
“Yeah, he looked really good.” Eddie leans against the doorframe with a sigh. “Not as good as the night I trapped him against a bathroom sink and tried to suck his lips off his face, but still pretty good. You coming inside?”
“I knew you were trying to suck my lips off.”
“What can I say,” Eddie shrugs. “I wanted to take them home with me.”
Steve chews on his bottom lip and moves slowly toward Eddie. He can feel that familiar giddy excitement Eddie used to generate in him building under his skin.
“Well,” Steve takes the last step into Eddie’s space. The scent of a candle burning from inside wafts through the opening, making Steve smile. “They’re here now.”
“Yeah,” Eddie hooks his index finger into Steve’s belt loop, tugging him inside. “Come inside.”
Steve lets Eddie lead him into the living room, which is as bad as Steve expected. There’s an opened pizza box on the coffee table, and one piece of pizza is still inside. There are a couple of beer cans littering the table, one resting on its side on the floor. A box of tissues is sitting on the couch, used ones littering half of the cushions. The TV is on, and Steve spins to stare at it when he hears his own voice coming from the speakers.
“It was just on,” Eddie scrambles to find the remote. “I wasn’t marathoning your IMDb page or anything.”
When he finds it squished between the couch cushions, he rushes to press the power button. The TV blinks off, but Steve keeps staring at it. It’s a ridiculous thing to feel warm and fuzzy about. Eddie huddled up on his couch, pining away watching Steve’s movies, but he loves this man, so logic flies out the window.
“Steve?”
Steve turns to smile at Eddie and gets an eye full of the man’s big chocolate-colored eyes staring back.
“I love you,” Steve can’t stop the words from tumbling from his lips. He needs to say it. “I never stopped loving you. I should’ve fought for you, for us. I’m sorry for giving up so easily.”
“You love me?” Eddie’s voice cracks.
“Yeah,” Steve waves his hands around. “All this? Yeah, I love you.”
He chuckles to himself like he can’t believe this mess of sadness is somehow doing it for him. Maybe it’s his ego, maybe he really is full of himself like Robin always says, but it’s making him strangely happy to know Eddie was just as miserable as he was.
“I love you, too. And I’m sorry, too, for everything. For letting you go. You’re right. We didn’t really fight for it. We could’ve made it work. We didn’t even try.”
Steve nods and moves toward Eddie. He needs to get his hands on this man immediately. Eddie follows Steve’s lead and moves closer, like a string tugging them together. When Eddie’s within reach, Steve stretches his hands out and grabs Eddie’s face, cupping him gently.
“Fight with me?” Steve asks while his thumb brushes across Eddie’s cheek.
Eddie nods, and Steve feels the man’s hands grip his hips, tugging him closer.
“I’m never letting you go again.”
“I have a premiere next weekend. Come with me.”
“What?” Eddie scrunches his nose, making Steve want to kiss it.
“Be my date.”
“Really?” Eddie sounds breathless.
“Yeah, I’m tired of hiding. I want to show you off.”
“But what about-? Don’t you need to, like, call someone, tell them you’re- we’re- I feel like this is a big deal, Steve.”
“Naw, it’s not 2005 anymore. I don’t need to ‘come out,’ it’s stupid. Let the chips fall where they may.”
“You’re risking your career? For me?”
Steve can feel Eddie rubbing his thumb across his waistband. “No, I’m not risking anything. If nobody wants to hire me because of who I love, then I wasn’t supposed to work with them in the first place. I have enough money anyway, Eddie. I’ll be fine.”
“Show off,” Eddie smiles and Steve had missed those dimples. “You really want me to go with you? To the premiere?”
“Without a doubt. I need new pictures for my trailer, and you look really good in a suit. I was going to take Rob, but she’ll be happy to be ditched. I’ll call Joyce on Monday and see if she can find something for you to wear.”
“Ok,” Eddie bites back a face-splitting smile.
“I’m gonna kiss you now.”
“I wish you would.”
And like a rubber band snapping, something breaks between them, and they rush forward, gasping as their lips smash together. Steve’s hands slide deep into Eddie’s mess of curls while Eddie’s slide around Steve’s waist and up his back.
It feels like coming home. The scent of Steve’s favorite candle, the feel of Eddie’s touch, and the love he’s missed so much all come together in one perfect moment.
As Steve gets reacquainted with the push and slide of Eddie’s lips, something inside of him heals in the blink of an eye. He won’t run away this time. He knows, without a doubt, it’ll be different.
They’re going to last, make a life together, grow old, and build a future. He can feel it deep in his soul. He’s going to be with this man for the rest of his life.
When Everything’s an Act
by Nancy Wheeler
Steve Harrington is one of those names that everyone knows. A familiar face most millennials can pick out of a lineup without hesitation. Steve stumbled into our living rooms as Gabe Noble, the precocious son on ABC’s “Sandy Hills,” and grew up before our eyes. He felt like someone we all knew, one of our classmates, the friend who we could turn to in a time of need. When we headed to high school, Steve became Keys Keery. The sweet nerdy boy who stole America’s heart on the HBO miniseries “Fridays are Free.” What none of us saw, though, was a young man trying to figure out where Steve Harrington started and the characters he played ended.
I met with Steve at his cozy Spanish-style home, which he shares with his partner, Eddie Munson, and their dog, James (named after James Hetfield of Metallica). Steve was dressed comfortably in an oversized ringer-style t-shirt adorned with a handmade logo of Eddie’s band Corroded Coffin. He met me at the door with a warm smile and a lightness I’d never seen on the actor before. He showed me around the space, gushing at all the memorabilia, not of his accolades but of Eddie’s. He pointed out a picture of Eddie cradling a rat to his chest. Telling me that that’s the man he fell in love with. It’s a photo from the set of Midnight, the movie where the two men met.
As Steve continued the tour, I could hear music floating from somewhere down the hall. When I pointed it out, Steve apologized and said Eddie was working on something and was ‘in the zone,’ but offered to ask him to tone it down if it was distracting. I found this endearing. I’ve done many interviews over my career, and most of the time, my subject matter is the one every person in the room is focused on. But here, in this quaint abode, Steve appreciates the creative process and doesn’t appear to be bothered that he’s not under Eddie’s sole undivided attention. It’s refreshing. I tell him the sound doesn’t bother me, and he smiles like I just said he was nominated for another Academy Award.
By the time we’re ready for the official interview, he’s guided me to their beautiful backyard oasis. We’re surrounded by blooming vines and every shade of green in the color spectrum. It’s the perfect landscape to find out more about the man we all assumed we knew.
Nancy: This will seem like a softball question, but are you happy?
Steve: Is it not obvious? I thought for sure my face gave me away.
Nancy: Well, you do have a shelf in there filled with awards for your acting. Don’t blame me for wanting some verification.
Steve: Ok, fair. Yes, I’m happy. Certifiably, lock me up level of insanely happy. I didn’t even think it was possible to be this level of happy.
Nancy: Why do you say that?
Steve: Because I’ve always been relatively happy. Had a charmed childhood. Got my big break at 13. I never struggled financially. I was able to experience things no one at my age should. I was the parade marshal at Disney World when I was 16. I worked with James Cameron when I was 22. I starred in a movie with Ryan Reynolds. Sure, I’ve known heartache, grief, and pain like everyone else, but I know I’ve been lucky. This is different.
Nancy: How so?
Steve: I’m not acting anymore. Honestly, I didn’t even realize I’d been playing a role. I’ve been in this business since I was a kid, so it felt natural to pretend. That’s what I did, what I was paid and awarded for, but no one told me you weren’t supposed to do that in your real life.
Nancy: Do you feel like you were lied to or tricked somehow?
Steve: Oh no, that’s not what I mean. No one duped me or convinced me to be someone I’m not. I just saw how the world treated people like me, like us, and thought I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers. It wasn’t worth it.
Nancy: Whose feathers would you have ruffled if you’d come out sooner?
Steve: Well, I don’t say I ‘came out,’ technically. I always thought that was a ridiculous practice. No one comes out straight; it’s not my fault, everyone assumed, so I never felt like it was my job to clarify. But I did keep my relationships private. I told myself it was to protect them, that, in some way, it was easier for them if I didn’t pull them into the limelight. What I didn’t see was that that was my way of validating the closet accusations.
Nancy: What made you announce your relationship with Eddie?
Steve: I missed him. We’d dated for a couple of years, but my career got in the way. Or at least that’s what we told ourselves. When I was shooting Tomorrow’s Horizon, Eddie was the handler that brought Tina, our amazing chimpanzee, to set. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, and over the course of a couple days of soul-searching, I realized I wanted to spend my life with him. And it was like the clouds opened up. Everything was clear and obvious in a way it never had been before. I wanted to love him the way he deserved. Freely and openly.
Nancy: So that was it? Easy as pie?
Steve: Well [he chuckles], I wouldn’t say easy, we had our rocky moments. Those photos, for one, and the fallout. [Steve’s referencing the leaked nude modeling photos of Eddie Munson from the infamous Jason Carver blackmail lawsuit] But we survived. My career tried to take a hit, but thanks to all of my incredibly loyal fans, they wouldn’t put up with that and fought back. Eddie’s been threatened. We had to hire a bodyguard at one point. It was weird having Hopper around all the time, but I was relieved someone was watching out for Eddie when I was traveling at the beginning. Thankfully, things have evened out. In the grand scheme of our life, there were a few bumps before this. [he motions to the backyard]
Nancy: So things are good now?
Steve: Definitely
Nancy: Then what’s next for Steve Harrington?
Steve: I have a couple things up my sleeve. I start shooting a new sci-fi thriller in a few weeks. It’s a bit of a passion project. An indy film I’m executive producing and starring in for an incredibly talented writer. He was one of the PAs on Tomorrow’s Horizon. Will Byers, write that name down. He’s something special.
Nancy: Did Will ask you to read his screenplay while shooting Tomorrow’s?
Steve: Oh no, Will didn’t even give it to me. My sister [stepsister makeup artist Max Mayfield] was telling me about it. She was saying how Will was struggling to get anyone to read it or take him seriously, and she was pushing him to use his connections. He’s such a kind soul. He refused to ask any of the people he had worked with previously to look at the script. He thought it would be rude or presumptuous. Silly boy doesn’t realize this business runs on connections. So I asked her to sneak me a copy, and I read the entire thing in one sitting. It was moving, heartwarming, thrilling, a little nerve-wracking. I was sold. Now, here we are, about to make it into a movie.
Nancy: Sounds like you’re about to have another hit on your hands. What else do you have up that sleeve of yours?
Steve: Well, [he glances over his shoulder like he wants to keep what he says next, between us] I guess I can say since this will come out after I’ve already done it, but I’m asking Eddie to marry me. And I’m pretty sure he’ll say yes, probably, hopefully.
Nancy: I’m sure he will. That’s exciting. Is anything big planned for the proposal? Or are you keeping that under lock and key?
Steve: I might tell you, off the record.
[he did]
Nancy: Last question, do you have any advice for other people or couples who are hiding their relationships to give them the strength to step out of the shadows?
Steve: Yeah, [he takes a pregnant pause] trust the love.
She’ssic [It’s] always there for you.
We then wrapped up outside, and Steve led me back into his welcoming home, where I was greeted by a smiling Eddie Munson. His vibrancy hasn’t been captured in the photographs of the couple on their red-carpet outings. Eddie is gregarious, moving almost constantly but in a controlled sort of way. He offers me a cup of tea, one to match the brew he hands to his soon-to-be fiancé. Seeing Steve in the presence of Eddie solidifies the man was telling the truth when he said he was certifiably happy. The couple gravitate towards each other, like they can’t deny some unconscious pull. They almost forget I’m there when Eddie starts talking about the song he had been playing earlier. The one I overheard. Steve is so enthralled that he keeps his eyes locked on Eddie’s movements. I faded into the backdrop. Eddie was burning too brightly for Steve to see anything else.
Writer’s note: I’m happy to close this article out with some exciting news. Steve, as he said, proposed to Eddie. Pulling some celebrity-level strings, he was able to get Eddie backstage at the most recent Metallica concert at the Staples Center. Eddie met his longtime heroes and was utterly surprised when the band interrupted their set for a brief interlude. Steve then took his cue and pulled his very confused partner onstage, dropped to one knee, and asked James Hetfield to hold the ring. Without hesitation, Eddie said yes. Or, more like screamed yes. This reporter will be in attendance alongside her longtime girlfriend, Robin Buckley, at the ceremony later this year. I wish them both nothing but a lifetime of certifiable happiness.