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Cole never expected to be Jay’s best man at his wedding, but there he was, formal suit gripping on for dear life onto his tight muscles as Jay paced around the room whispering to himself his vows.
“You do know you’ll have your script on hand, right?” Cole said, exhausted just looking at the bag of nerves hopping around the groom’s changing room.
“Yeah, but this has to be perfect! This is Nya we’re talking about!” Jay exclaimed in his usual whisper-yell. Cole approached him and placed his hand on his jumpy shoulder, already feeling energy drain from him.
“No, it doesn't. Was your first date with Nya perfect?” Jay looked back on his amusement park date with Nya that went horribly wrong and shook his head, glad his love for the woman was enough to cure him of his scaly curse. "Were things perfect between us three when the Overlord tried taking over Ninjago the second time?” Jay shook his head again, flashbacks of their useless bickering from the Digital-Overlord era reminiscing in their heads. "See? All of this worrying is for nothing. Sure, Nya’s the perfect gal, but she loves you because you’re you, even if the actual you is a jumpy lump of nerves ready to explode.”
“I know, I know,” Jay exhaled, nerves slowly calming down, "But I gotta get my words right. This entire script reflects over our past; our relationship’s history,” he said while smacking the stapled stack of papers, "If I’m gonna fuck up, I at least better know what I’m talking about.”
“You’ve been studying those lines ever since you wrote them; relax.” Cole removed his hand from his shoulder to pat his back. Jay stared at him before smiling, one still unfamiliar to Cole even after all these years with him as a ninja, and a friend. It was not the kind he used when he was teasing for his own pleasure, but the one he’d shoot Nya whenever she did something remotely impressive, even if she had just flipped over a table after a few frustrating hours of mapping out a new vehicle for the ninja. It was the one that could warm anyone’s heart, or at least, Cole’s.
“Now,” Cole said while taking the script out of Jay’s hands, “Get dressed. Seeing you in a tank top makes me pity you.” Jay punched Cole in his shoulder, knowing it was just a tease but still sent with force because of his bulkiness. Jay waved a short farewell as Cole yelled words of encouragement, heading out the door soon after.
He waved at passersby, supposedly Jay’s extended family, and finally made it to someone he could recognize in the crowd: the ninjas.
“Cole! Good to see you," Kai greeted as he extended his arm. Cole took it in his and pumped his shoulder, a grin already finding itself onto his face. "Look at the lucky best man in his shining, too-tight armor.” The others laughed at the suit clinging to his body, but Cole knew it was only to tease him and they found him charming. He too laughed, unable to imagine his past self seeing him in such a fancy suit. But he’d do anything for Jay, as long as he was happy.
The group chatted awhile before Cole retreated to use the bathroom. If anyone was going to be humiliated that day, it would be the groom.
After finishing his business, he exited the stall and gave an awkward grin to yet another one of Jay’s relatives he swore he saw just seconds ago when walking to the restroom. He rinsed his hands free of soap and reached for a towel to see the dispenser flashing a red light demanding more supply. Cole sighed as he put his hands in the air-dry machine, squinting his eyes at the loud sound.
He faced himself in the mirror as he fixed his rings and bracelets, silver chains shimmering under the fluorescent bathroom lights. He scanned the urinals and stalls in utter awe; he expected marble-lined counters, but stalls? Jay and Nya invested too much in the venue in his opinion, but he couldn't blame them if he felt rich without even being the one to pay.
He faced himself once more as he fixed the stray hairs on his neck. Shooting himself the same smile he gave to the Walker relative, he sighed away the nerves forming in his body. He couldn't even begin to imagine how Jay felt– if only he were there to comfort him, again. But he’d be there by his side as the bride walked down the aisle lined in lace and ivory silk, he’d be there for when they shared their agreement, their kiss, their vows; he’d be there for him. He’d always be there for him.
Cole was proud to call Jay his friend. Sure, he was a goofball who’s second-hand embarrassment post-joke had people laughing harder, sure he was a nervous wreck over a woman for more than God knows how long, but, simply put, he was Jay. And that would be enough for Cole to stay.
He was proud of Jay for finally mustering up the courage to propose, even if it was during possibly one of, if not, the biggest battle in their lives, but he still did it, and that moment led to their marriage that Saturday night. Cole knew if he hadn't proposed that day, if he hadn't proposed even weeks after, they’d still end up at the end of the aisle, hand-in-hand, eyes locked into each other’s gaze as they accepted themselves as equals. It was inevitable, no force could ever break their bond, not even death themselves.
Cole still held memories of regret over their ridiculous feud for Nya. Cole hadn't even liked her, yet he still fought. Years later and he still wouldn't have an answer, sometimes unable to sleep because things would've been a lot sweeter between him and Jay if he hadn't acted like that. They were only teenagers, Cole knew, but they were teenagers with responsibilities; teenagers with the fate of Ninjago in the palm of their hands. If Cole wasn't so selfish, then they probably wouldn't have had to fight the Overlord a second time, then he probably wouldn't have made Nya feel so conflicted. He should've just rejected her straight-on, but he didn't. He didn't, and he still doesn't know why.
Was he jealous? He wasn't, he had no interest in Nya, none in the slightest. Was it out of pure boredom? Was he such an evil person to play with a girl’s feelings and almost ruin his relationship with one he considered his best friend because he was just… bored? Cole stopped himself from spiraling into those thoughts in the past, but now, it was unavoidable. He had to answer himself at that moment or he’d be unable to function as the one person Jay saw himself as; his best man. His number one choice for a man he trusted with his life because, obviously, his number one choice for a woman he trusted with his life was Nya.
Cole looked back at himself in the mirror, finding his eyebrows slightly furrowed and lips curled into the most unnoticeable frown. Why did his heart ache at such a thought? He knew Nya would be his number one, his soulmate, the one he was destined to be with.
But still, his heart ached. It ached badly, not as the one that would come and go like a heartbeat, but the one that constantly rang in his chest and only got worse by the minute.
He held his palm over his heart and clenched his suit tight, hoping it could stop the aching pain. As he heard the bathroom door click open, he realized he was in a public space and immediately switched to leaning both hands over the sink, head down to avoid eye contact.
He knew the person grew suspicious of his still behavior as they began washing their hands, so Cole began washing his own, watching them eye the empty towel dispenser then curse under their breath as they shook the water off their hands in defeat. As the door clicked shut, Cole turned off the water, returning to leaning over the sink, this time staring at the sunken eyes staring back at him.
What was he thinking about? How Jay saw him as a best man, but Nya as the one he truly trusted with his life?
The aching grew worse.
Cole could barely stand as he stumbled back into the stall, hoping he had time to recover from whatever the fuck attacked him. This was nothing like the enemies he’d fought over the years. Nothing like Lord Garmadon, nothing like the Overlord, like Master Chen, or Morro– nothing. The way his body ached was different; he knew it would get better, that he'd recover with given time. But this pain, it felt like it would never disappear, like it could only grow worse. Like…
… It was always there, and will continue to be there for the rest of his life.
Why did his heart react so harshly to Jay marrying the woman he loved? Why couldn't it feel happy for him? Cole knew he was, he felt it in his heart. But, a bigger part of it despised the thought, unable to contain the pain felt inside, so it distributed it head-to-toe, leaving no spot of comfort.
Jay was his best friend. Nya was his friend, as well. Jay saw him as a best friend, too; he was sure of it, but he found Nya as more than one; as the one he wanted to be with all his life. It was as simple as that, so why was Cole so confused?
Why can't he be the one Jay wanted to be with all of his life? Best friends can be connected for eternity, too. Cole knew he wasn't Nya, but he still made Jay happy. He still made him laugh, and smile, and feel every other emotion, whether good or bad because he was willing to ride that roller coaster with him. He didn't know how, but he knew no matter what bad things happened to them, they’d hold it out, and at the end, they’d be happy.
The answer was right in front of him all along, huh?
Cole leaned onto his knees, holding his eyes onto his palms hoping it would stop the flowing tears. The pain hadn't lessened, but he felt more comfortable in it now because he knew why it existed in the first place, and he didn't like it one bit.
He was jealous. He’s been jealous ever since the time they fought over Nya, possibly back even more. But he wasn't jealous of Jay,
He was jealous of Nya.
How could he be so fucking blind?
Cole knew it was minutes before the ceremony, but he couldn't bear to face either of them, even in his own headspace. The built-up, neglected emotions he marked down as ‘Best-friend Throwaway Trouble’ finally earned its new label; ‘Unrequited Love.’
He never liked Nya. He’s known that his entire life. But the only reason why he was fighting with Jay for her was because he swapped their roles, hoping one day it’d be himself and Nya fighting over Jay.
He could never see himself marrying Jay, but that was because he thought they already had that bond; he thought they’d be inseparable and happy in their own world for forever. But after he began dating Nya, let alone proposed to her, he was jealous because Jay shared the thing they had together, the one thing Cole cherished that was only between them, to someone else. To the love of his life. To a girl. He would always be the second choice, whether he liked it or not.
Cole found it harder and harder to support their marriage as the date grew close, but the reason why was unclear till now. It was because he was never fond of it in the first place, always hoping they’d change their mind secretly in that deep void of selfishness and envy in his heart.
He knew their bond wouldn't change– only that it wouldn't be so special afterwards. After their marriage, they’d spend more time with each other, ultimately ending up with him babysitting their children as they run away on a trip for their anniversary.
Cole didn't want to hate either of them– he loved them both– but the boiling rage in his chest only grew hotter. He fought the muscles in his arms to not rip apart the stall, to keep everything perfect for Jay and Nya’s wedding because it was their moment, not his. Nya would be married to Jay, not him.
Jay loved Nya, and not him.
Cole exited the stall, checking the messages from his phone which consisted of messages in the group chat about their excitement for the ceremony. Cole hoped he didn't scroll any further, but he found the one thing he didn't know he wasn't looking forward to, but knew it was it the minute he read it.
Jay Walker
T-minus 15 minutes! It’s been a long journey, Cole, and I’m proud to have my best friend as my best man.
Cole shoved his phone back into his pocket as he ran his hands under the sink. The cool water soothed his burning hands numbing with the lust for destruction, waiting for something to fight away the pain he felt inside of him. Cole wasn't even aware of it, but when he looked into the mirror, he saw the pitiful face of a grown man crying before him, eyes subtly puffy with tear drops settling in the lines of his jaw. Quickly, he rinsed away the tears with a wet hand and turned off the sink, now facing his pitiful self with suspicious red eyes.
Luckily, it could be played off as him enjoying his nap too much, and that would be it. He wouldn't dare burden anyone with his silly, unrequited feelings about a man getting married the same night. He knew the ninja ever since he was a young adult, feet just briskly brushing the waters of his potential as an elemental master. Now, he is a bit deeper in, probably not even waist-deep, but still aware of what powers he beheld. And so were the other ninja, even Nya, who found her powers halfway through the journey yet quickly adjusted like she’d used the same amount of time.
Was that why Jay loved her so much? Because she was, simply put, better than everyone else? She was good at tinkering, sure, but Cole knew how to throw a bunch of scrap metal together, too. They shared similar interests with Jay, so why her, and not him?
Was it because Cole could never be her, or Nya could never be a him? Was it because he was a guy? That was a stupid fucking idea, then, because Jay made it clear numerous times he was up for dating a dude, as long as he was like Nya.
Well, he was very similar to Nya, so why? Cole was desperate to learn now, even if it was too late.
Cole groaned as he slammed the countertop, hearing a faint crack in the marble. He immediately backed away from the sink, staring down at his hands shaking with anger, and guilt, and fear.
Fear. He was afraid to discover what his feelings for Jay were, afraid to ask anyone about it, and now, afraid of himself. He wished he could confide in another ninja, but it was far too late. It was best he kept everything to himself in order to not separate his team again, not after what he found out he could do when playing around with Nya and Jay just to try and imagine what it’d be like to fight for someone he loved, fight for a cause not even close to saving the entirety of Ninjago, but for the cause of his own selfish happiness.
He stuck by the ninja’s sides all this time and would do anything to stick around for the rest of his lifetime. If he had to keep his stupid crush to himself for as long as he lived, so be it. He lived with it all that time– a few more years wouldn't hurt. He couldn't risk the trust of the team, their own lives by telling them his destructive feelings. He was strong– the structure of the team holding everyone up, so he could probably stand tall for a few more years, right? The aching pain of his secret couldn't affect him that much, right?
Because his team depended on him, and he depended on his team. The mutual connection couldn't break just because his unrequited feelings for someone getting married to the love of his life made their way into everyone’s minds. Cole had to stay strong for them if it meant being with them, fighting by their side of the battlefield, fighting by Jay’s side.
Cole trudged to the door, hand gripping the metal handle as he reflected over the emotions and thoughts flooding his inner subconscious.
He must stay strong. He must continue to fight, to continue making heroic history by battling the fiercest villains and winning consecutively with no problem.
He exited the bathroom and stared at the relatives walking by, feeling stares on his pitiful self even with no one paying attention to him.
He must fight the evil in the world, and the evil in his mind.
He made his way closer to the ninja, the same group of now adults that have been for him ever since he was a rookie ninja just scratching the surface of his elemental potential.
He must continue winning for his team, because at the end of the day, the end of the story,
Cole was greeted with smiles and congratulations. He found Jay pacing again, but he immediately softened under the presence of his best man, the man he could go to when pressured, but only if the pressure comes from the woman because otherwise, she is there for him.
Good wins over evil,
“It’s been a few years, ninja," Lloyd proudly announced with a smile, “And after all these years, we get to see the most awaited event of our lives; the wedding of Jay Walker and Nya Smith.” The group cheered at his words which were practically spoilers for his congratulations later during his toast, but it didn't bother the group, as much as Cole wished it didn't affect him.
The people praise their saviors,
“You guys ready?" Jay asked with excitement but mostly nervousness in his voice. Kai slung an arm around Jay.
“We sure are. Shall we start this new chapter in our lives with the iconic phrase?” Kai asked, already knowing the answers of others. ”Ninja, go!” Everyone in the team cheered their chant; the one they started their journey as ninjas with, and the one they’ll end it with. Cole, voice somehow sore from his emotional outburst in the silent solitude of the bathroom stall, cheered as well, fist in the air along with the other elemental masters.
And the hero gets the girl.
Jay faced Cole with a big grin, the kind he’d seen in the changing room just minutes before discovering the very feelings he’d kept hidden from everyone including himself for years without end, until now.
His heart fluttered at the sight, then sank as he realized it wasn't his to witness. That loving smile, even if Jay wasn't aware of it, was for the one he loved, and Cole didn't fit that standard. He never would, as Nya would be his number one eternally while he was stuck at number two, the best friend he could turn to not because he’d be there for him eternally, but because he could when he wanted. Cole knew he would always be behind Nya, he just wasn't ready to accept it.
Cole sucked up his petty feelings and smiled back, resisting the anger and frustration of having to watch the one he thought was his soulmate marry the one he thinks is his. Jay Walker just didn't love him back, and that was that. All that was left for Cole to do was accept it and focus on the safety of the people, not his own heart.
The hero gets the girl.