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Eddie’s heart breaks when Chris leaves.
He walks out the door, not looking back, and Eddie feels the click of the door closing in every cell of his being, a bullet ricocheting through his body. The only thing that kept him from bursting apart was the weight of Buck’s hand on his shoulder. He closed his eyes, focused on Buck’s thumb rubbing back and forth, and tried to breathe.
He felt like he was dying.
Again.
Buck stayed with him that first night, saying he didn’t want him to be alone, and it was then that Eddie realized he’d never been alone before - not truly alone. He’d gone from living with his parents, to living with Shannon, to living with his squad, then back to Shannon and Christopher, and finally just Christopher. It had always been Christopher, and now it wasn’t.
He’d spent the night staring at his ceiling and wanting so desperately to go out to the living room to crawl onto the couch and tuck himself into Buck’s side and just cry. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. Buck’s not his anymore, he’s Tommy’s, and it feels different now. Different than it was with Ali and Taylor, even Natalia. Buck always prioritized him and Christopher. Always. But now there’s a new piece of him opened up and he’s excited in a way Eddie’s never seen him be about a relationship before, not even when he claimed Natalia saw him. Tommy opened up something in him and he’s been so happy, so– so complete, like everything that had left him hollow his whole life had been found, filled.
He’s never been more beautiful.
And Eddie won’t let himself touch that right now, not when he’s broken everything good he’s ever touched, he won’t break that. He won’t break Buck too.
Around 4 a.m. he makes a decision, one he knows Buck won’t understand, but he’s going to do it anyway. He has to do it so he can try to feel right in himself again.
Although he’s not sure he ever has felt right in his life.
He packs a bag and writes a note to Buck. When he goes out to the living room to leave it on the coffee table where Buck will see it when he wakes up, he stands there looking down at him sleeping, lightly snoring and perfect. He wants to kneel down and whisper in his ear, I love you, I’m not leaving forever. I’m doing this for you and Chris, for me, for us. I promise. I promise. I promise. I know I’ve lied to you, but please trust me.
The quiet click of the front door as he closes it behind himself, cuts him off from Buck, ricochets through his body just like it had the day before. He thinks he might have to slam doors from now on or he’ll never be able to walk through one again.
He gets in his truck and drives to the nearest gas station to fill up, and to get some shitty coffee and a couple breakfast sandwiches. He hasn’t eaten since yesterday and it’s catching up with him.
He has no idea where he’s going, but he’s just going to drive. And then drive some more until the noise in his head quiets down.
He’s an hour and a half from home when his phone rings.
Buck.
He doesn’t answer. It rings three more times before texts come in one after another.
Buck: Eddie
???
answer your phone
come home we’ll figure this out together
don’t run away
please come home
this isn’t the answer
Eddie please
Eddie knows Buck will keep texting, so he pulls over to the side of the road and texts him back.
Eddie: I’m not running. Please trust me.
Please.
Eddie watches his phone as Buck types, stops, types again. Back and forth until finally–
Buck: I trust you I always trust you
He grips his phone and leans forward until his forehead rests against the steering wheel. He has to swallow down a sob. No one has ever trusted him like Buck. He gave him his trust so easily, so freely, and the weight of such blind faith is overwhelming.
Buck is overwhelming. He always has been. Blowing Eddie’s world up from day one.
Literally.
Eddie sometimes wonders if he didn’t start falling that first day. He’s been smothering it for so long he doesn’t know.
Eddie: I know you do.
Thank you.
I love you.
Buck: promise to call me if you need me
He wants to tell him not to worry about him, but he knows Buck, he knows he will. He already knows that Buck will keep in contact with Christopher, keep him tethered to home, he doesn’t want to ask any more of him. He’s too greedy with Buck already.
Eddie: I promise. Don’t worry about me.
Buck: nice try you know that ain’t happening
Eddie smiles at that and closes out his texts so Buck and Christopher smile back at him from his home screen.
He hopes he’s doing the right thing, that he’s not lying to Buck again, but it hasn’t even been a full twenty-four hours and he misses them both more than he can bear. He’s gotta do something to fix things, but he can’t do it in that house, or with Buck there trying to soften the blows. He’d willingly throw himself over every landmine in Eddie’s path and he can’t let him do that, he’s gotta do this on his own no matter how much it hurts.
*
He spends the whole day driving north up the coast. When he stops in the early afternoon to grab a burger at a drive-thru he calls HR to figure out a leave of absence. Bobby’s recovering, and he doesn’t want to bother either him, or Hen, with the paperwork. He’s also pretty sure they’ll try to talk him out of whatever it is he’s doing, and he doesn’t know how to reassure them he’s not going crazy when he says he has no plan, but that he knows what he’s doing.
Around eleven he just can’t keep his eyes open any longer so he pulls into a Walmart parking lot and sleeps in his truck. In the morning he starts driving east. There’s no specific route, but for some reason he keeps thinking about the picture Buck showed him of when he was working on a ranch in Montana.
He thinks he might like to see the mountains - mountains that are peaceful and not broken memories of blood and death and war.
He also likes the idea of being somewhere Buck was, back before he knew him, just out there waiting for Eddie to find him. Because Eddie was meant to find him, no matter what other wrong turns he’s taken in his life he didn’t take a single wrong turn on his way to Buck. That’s one truth he believes in.
On the second day he starts taking pictures of pretty or interesting places he sees and texts them to Chris and Buck - not expecting any response from the former, and telling the latter to not reply, please, just know he’s okay and that he’s just checking in.
Buck’s compromise is reacting to each text with an emoji. Eddie’s impressed with his restraint.
He also starts sending videos and audio messages.
Christopher’s are always variations of–
Eddie: I love you.
I miss you.
You don’t know how sorry I am. I’m going to do my best to be better for you.
You can call me whenever you want. I’m always here.
I’d like to hear your voice, even if you yell at me.
I love you so much.
Did you know your mom craved peanut butter toast when she was pregnant with you? I bought her so many jars of peanut butter.
You’re the best thing I’ve ever done.
Buck’s are different.
He’s found he likes to lay down at night and just talk into his phone to Buck. He texts him to tell him to just answer the phone and listen, don’t say anything, so Eddie can talk as long as he wants. Voicemail cuts him off too soon, same with audio files, and he doesn’t want to FaceTime because he’d never be able to say what he wants to say if he has to look at Buck while he’s doing it.
So he calls Buck when he gets tired enough for sleep and tells him about his day, about the time he broke his arm trying to ride his bike no-handed, and how he only played football in high school because the tall, blue-eyed quarterback was so beautiful Eddie thinks he hypnotized him into signing up.
He tells him he thinks he’s always wanted to kiss a boy.
And how he loved Shannon so desperately because she was wild and funny and beautiful and kept those feelings pushed away.
He tells him he clings to that love because it was never the right love, not what Shannon deserved, and he hates himself for telling her it was, and how he thinks if he holds onto it for long enough it’ll be some kind of penance, amends for the lies he’s told, even though it never will.
He spends one whole phone call telling Buck all of the things he loves about him without telling him it really is love - the right kind of love he could never give to Shannon, but has finally let himself believe he can give to Buck. So instead of saying, these are all the reasons why I love you like the sun, he says–
I like that you have six pairs of yellow socks, but never wear anything yellow.
It makes me laugh when you sing the recipe to yourself when you cook.
I’m so happy you never censor yourself around me, that you say the quiet things out loud, and never stop talking.
When he really should be saying–
I love your oddities, every single weird little thing you do lives in a corner of my heart and makes it beat.
You bring me endless joy. There’s no darkness when I’m with you.
You’re perfect, exactly as you are, and I want you to overwhelm me every day of my life.
He rambles night after night and listens to Buck’s quiet breaths on the other end of the line, and when he finally hangs up he can go to sleep.
He keeps driving. He doesn’t want to spend money on hotels so he buys a mattress pad and a sleeping bag and sleeps in his truck bed when he can. He uses the showers at truck stops and campgrounds and laughs the whole time thinking about how disgusted Buck would be if he knew. Every once in a while when it’s raining, or he can’t find a safe place to park, he’ll splurge on a hotel room and watch endless hours of old sitcom reruns as he wishes Buck and Christopher were beside him telling him nobody needs to watch that much Everybody Loves Raymond.
In the middle of all of it he has video sessions with Frank. He’ll sit by a river, if he actually has cell reception, or in the parking lot of some library so he can mooch off their wi-fi, and spend an hour ripping himself open. His calls to Buck on those days are particularly long, but Buck never tells him to stop calling.
Eddie never thought he would.
A little over a month in, Chris sends him the Robert Redford gif and asks, 'this you yet?' and Eddie laughs and sends him a selfie showing he does, in fact, look like a mountain man now. Chris replies with an eye-roll emoji and Eddie cries for an hour.
But they’re good tears. Happy and hopeful for the first time since Chris left. He thinks, maybe.
Maybe.
Every day he gets a new gif or picture of some grizzled old man, and after about a week and a half he tells Buck about them, about how the replies to Eddie’s texts have turned from silence into hearts.
Buck texts back.
Buck: please come home
So Eddie does.
It’s been over six weeks, and he knows it’s time.
Besides, Buck asked, and Eddie will give him anything.
He tells Buck he will, he’ll be home soon, but he doesn’t tell him when because there are some things he needs to do before he can see him again.
On his long drive home Chris calls him. He nearly drives off the road when he sees Christopher’s name on his screen.
“Chris! Buddy - hey!”
“Why did you do that, Dad?”
Eddie’s heart stops. Okay. Okay, they’re going straight into it. He can do this.
He pulls over to the side of the road and he tells Christopher everything, all the things he should’ve told him a long time ago because Chris is old enough and he deserves to know. He deserves to know the truth about him and his mother, now they tried, and how the failure has followed him and haunted him his entire life. He lays out all his mistakes in a row, and next to them all the things he hopes he’s learned over these last six weeks, and what he hopes for most of all is that Chris can trust him again one day.
“I’m still mad. I’m so mad at you.”
“I know, buddy. I know.”
“I’m not coming home yet.”
Yet.
“That’s okay. You stay. I know your abuelo and abuela are so happy to have you there. They love you so much.”
Chris pauses for a second.
“They’re so boring, Dad.”
And Eddie laughs, loudly, and then underneath he can hear Chris start to laugh too.
“So boring,” Eddie agrees.
“I’m still staying here.”
“I know you are, just please promise to keep talking to me. Even if it’s to yell at me.”
“I promise.”
“You’re talking to Buck too, right?”
“Of course I am. I have been this whole time, he didn’t piss me off.”
“Fair enough, kid.”
“We both think you’re weird, Buck says you’re sleeping in your truck. We already have enough to deal with, please don’t make us deal with your dad version of Eat, Pray, Love.”
“How do you know about Eat, Pray, Love?”
“Buck told me about Abby,” Chris says.
“He did?”
“Yeah, he tells me things.” Again, fair. “He told me about how she ghosted him, and how lame he was living in her apartment for that long.”
“That was pretty lame.”
“Well don’t get judgey, he also told me how you got all huffy about her when she came back that one time.”
“I didn’t get huffy.”
“Well, you got something, and Buck said it wasn’t cute.”
Eddie laughs again.
“I promise, no Eat, Pray, Love’ing is going on here. I’m on my way home, actually, so you and Buck can stop shit-talking me behind my back.”
“Dad, we’re never going to stop that.”
“I love you, Christopher.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
Chris’s voice rushes through the line and then he’s gone, hung up. Eddie holds the phone in his hand and smiles at it. God, his life is good.
It’s good.
And he’s finally realizing that, finally letting himself have it.
Chris may still be mad, but he’s talking to him, and he won’t be gone forever.
And Buck is waiting for him back home.
Fuck, how did he get so lucky?
*
Eddie pulls into his driveway in the middle of the night and just collapses in his bed. It’s only in the morning when he wakes up that he realizes his sheets smell clean and fresh, the house doesn’t have a stale, closed up smell, and there’s not a speck of dust.
Buck. Of course, Buck.
He walks into the kitchen and finds a letter on the table.
There’s food in the freezer for whenever you get home. Don’t order in, eat something good. You’ve been eating junk for weeks.
When he opens the freezer he finds a half dozen containers of food waiting for him, all labeled. He stands in front of his freezer and wants to cry over tupperware containers. Buck is so good, he’s so good, and Eddie loves him so goddamn much. He hopes these final few days will bring what he’s been wanting for so long. He just has a few more things he has to do before he takes one of the biggest risks of his life.
He texts Buck and tells him he got home safely, but asks him for just a little more time, promises him it won’t be long. Buck answers immediately telling him he’ll be waiting. It makes Eddie smile to himself because he knows Buck will be waiting, but it won’t be patiently.
He puts down his phone, then pulls out some breakfast burritos and heats them up according to Buck’s scrawled directions. He heads to the shower while they finish heating up. He’s expecting a couple of workmen today and he needs to be ready.
After he eats, and before the workmen arrive, he runs to Home Depot to pick up the order he put in back when he made his decision to go ahead with his plans. He has no idea how everything will pan out, but he’s excited in a way he hasn’t been in a long, long time.
Over the next three days he devotes all of his time to his project. He FaceTimes Chris to make sure he’s seeing the progress, and to get his input.
On his long drive home he’d texted Chris to ask if it was okay for him to call and talk again, that he’d made a big decision and wanted his opinion on it. At first Chris had been skeptical, and Eddie couldn’t blame him, he hasn’t exactly given Chris much reason to trust him and to know what’s best for them. But Eddie had been one hundred percent truthful with him, told him things he had never said out loud before, and at the end of it all Chris told him he was making the right decision, that it was exactly what they both needed.
He’d also been brutally honest with him, telling Eddie he can’t fuck this one up. Not Buck. Because messing Buck up would break them. That there’s no coming back from losing him.
Eddie knows the feeling.
There’s no coming back from Buck - in any way.
Eddie agreed with him and told him there was still time to say no, that he would honor his decision either way, but that he truly felt, deep in his heart, that it would turn out the way they wanted it to, and Chris said he thought so too.
He sounded like he truly meant it.
That was all the push Eddie needed to put everything into action.
At the end of the third day, after the workmen finally leave, Eddie texts Buck.
Eddie: Come over tomorrow morning? I have something I want to tell you.
And show you too.
Buck: oooh, we’re having show and tell? I loved show and tell in kindergarten!
Eddie smiles at Buck’s quick response. He texts back a middle finger emoji with ‘10:00’ after it, and crawls into bed, tired and nervous and buzzing with excitement all at once. He’s surprised he even falls asleep, but the tiredness wins out in the end.
*
Buck shows up at ten sharp with coffee and donuts that only barely make it into the house intact because Eddie meets him on the porch just as he’s getting out of the jeep. The coffee cups end up on the hood of the jeep and the bag hangs precariously in Buck’s hand when he beams at him and comes running at him for a hug. Eddie lets out a grunt as Buck tackles him. He can vaguely hear the bag tear as it bounces against his back, but he’s too busy wrapping his arms around Buck and pressing his face into his shoulder, breathing in the warm familiarity of him, to care about it.
He’s home.
They just stand there holding each other for a ridiculously long time, neither one wanting to let the other one go. Eddie just draws in a deep breath and clings, clings so damn hard he’s not entirely sure he’ll ever be able to uncurl his fingers to let Buck go.
He can feel Buck’s heart pounding against his own chest; they're pressed so close, so tight. He wonders if Buck can feel the same, can feel his wild beating heart.
“Thank you,” he whispers into Buck’s shoulder.
“For what?”
“For letting me go.”
Buck makes a pained little noise, like he’s trying to swallow it down, but Eddie hears it anyway.
“I missed you every day,” he adds.
“I missed you too.”
They hold onto each other for a little longer until the anticipation is about to kill Eddie. He forces himself to let go of Buck and pull away from him. When he steps back from him, Buck makes that pained sound again and takes a step towards Eddie, his hands not letting go of him. Eddie lets himself be pulled back into Buck’s arms. It’s the only place he ever wants to be, but he needs to get him inside, so he gives him one last tight hug, then untangles himself.
“Come inside, I want to show you something.”
It’s only when Buck ducks down to grab the donut bag that Eddie realizes it fell to the porch floor in a crumpled pile. He sees Buck quickly wipe at his eyes with the heel of his hand. He’s squatted down trying to keep his face hidden from Eddie as he takes way too long to gather up the bag. Eddie wants to kiss him right then and there.
Kiss him and never stop.
But before he can get ahead of himself Buck springs back up, smile plastered on his face.
“Our show and tell time, can’t wait,” he says, overly loud, as he barrels past Eddie and into the house.
Eddie just smiles and goes over to the jeep to pick up their abandoned coffees before following him inside.
Buck’s already in the kitchen pulling a plate out of the cupboard to put the donuts on.
“Oh, a plate - are we being fancy?” Eddie teases. “Are you too good for wadded up In-N-Out napkins from the junk drawer now? I’ve obviously been gone too long–”
“The house smells like paint,” Buck almost shouts at him as he turns around and glares at him like he’s accusing Eddie of something.
“It does,” Eddie says, walking over to Buck to take the plate out of his hand.
“Why does it smell like paint? Are you okay?”
Eddie knows Buck is thinking about locked doors and baseball bats so he reaches out and squeezes his shoulder.
“I’m okay. I promise.”
Buck’s eyes focus on him, they’re a little too wide for Eddie’s liking, but he nods and whispers, ‘okay’.
“Come on,” Eddie says as he lets his hand slide down Buck’s arm so he can tangle their fingers together and pull Buck along behind him.
Buck follows him down the hallway to his bedroom. Eddie doesn’t say anything, just opens the door and walks him inside. Buck comes to an abrupt stop and just stares. Eddie lets go of his hand and gives him a minute to take everything in.
Buck has always been on Eddie’s case to do something with his bedroom, his bare white walls and thrift store furniture he’s had ever since he and Chris moved to LA. In those lean early days it had been all about Chris, making his room and the rest of the house feel like home. Eddie’s bedroom always came a distant last. But over the years he’s listened to every single thing Buck’s said about it; all the things he could do to make it feel like a warm, safe space that’s entirely his own. Through all that listening, all those suggestions, Eddie started to realize that what Buck was telling him would make the room a home not just for Eddie, but for both of them.
And now he’s finally listened.
The walls are painted the color he remembers Buck pointing out once when they bought paint to freshen up Chris’ room. Eddie’s old bed is replaced with the king-size bed frame and mattress Buck had shown him one day at the station and told him he should buy, and it’s made up with new bedding that Buck had tried to put in his cart one day while they were shopping. There’s also a new double set of dressers so Buck finally has more than just a drawer in Eddie’s old beaten up garage sale dresser for his clothes. There’s actual curtains on the windows, and blinds that actually block the light and aren’t plastic and wonky like the ones he had before. A chair is pushed into the corner with a small table beside it that’s stacked with all of Buck’s half-finished books Eddie found lying around the house.
“What– ?” Buck stops talking for a second and keeps looking around like he’s lost. “What is this?”
“I hope your home, if you want it.”
“Eddie.”
“Because I love you.”
He says it. As simple as that. He’s held all of his love for Buck inside of himself for so goddamn long, and it really was just that simple. He loves him, and now he’s said it. But Buck’s looking at him like he’s not quite sure Eddie is entirely sane right now, so Eddie quickly continues.
“And before you can ask if I’m sure, or if I’m still in the middle of some kind of breakdown the answer is, yes, I’m sure, and no, I’m not. I love you, Buck. And I have for a really long time, so I know exactly what I’m saying, and exactly what I want. You. Chris and I both want you here with us.”
“But, Eddie I–”
“You’re with Tommy, I know. But Buck, I’m going to fight for you. If there’s even the tiniest bit of love for me on your end, I’m going to fight for you. Because no one has, at least not enough, not in the way you deserve. You’re an entire goddamn war, and I’m going to fight for you.”
Buck is still frozen in place, just staring at him with big, wide eyes. If Eddie’s misread this, if he’s said the wrong thing, he needs to make sure he keeps his promise to Chris - that none of this is going to break what they have already - their friendship, and their weird, perfect little family.
“But if there’s nothing on your end, if you don’t feel the same,” Eddie continues, “That’s okay, just tell me and we’ll go on like we have been. I’ll just keep being your best friend, me and Chris, because that’s never going to change, no matter how you feel. We’re always friends, you’re always Chris’ other dad. But if you do love me even a little, even if you think you could love me somewhere down the line, I’ll keep fighting for you because like I said, I know what I want. I want you, I want us.”
Eddie hears Buck take a shuddering breath.
“You’ll fight for me?” he whispers.
“Until I’m bones, Buck. Until I’m fucking bones.”
Buck’s face is unreadable for one breathless second before it all changes. Eddie watches as realization washes over Buck’s face, as his eyes brighten, and he knows.
He knows Buck loves him too.
“I’ll fight for you too, Eddie,” Buck says, voice strong, certain. “I’ll fight so hard.”
“I know,” Eddie can’t keep the love out of his voice, he doesn’t have to anymore. “You always have. You’ve fought for me and Christopher every day since we met and it’s why I love you.”
“I love you too,” Buck says, voice light and surprised like it’s some kind of revelation.
“So I can fight for you then?”
“You can, but you don’t have to,” Buck says. “I’m not with Tommy anymore.”
“Buck. When?”
“When you started calling me every night and I realized your voice was the one I wanted to hear every night. That it’s the last thing I want to hear before I fall asleep, and the first thing I want to hear every morning. Your voice, not anyone else’s.”
Eddie is so fucking relieved, so fucking happy, he can’t keep the stupid smile off of his face. He runs his hands through his hair, and he’s suspended in time for a split second, not quite sure all of this happiness is real, before he takes a deep breath and lets out a burst of pure, joyful laughter as he dives at Buck. He flings his arms around his waist and lifts him up in his excitement. Buck laughs that big, wonderful laugh of his as he wraps his arms around Eddie’s shoulders when his feet leave the floor.
“You’re gonna throw your back out,” Buck laughs happily. “Put me down.”
“Nope. I’m never putting you down.”
And it’s all so stupid because Buck’s got a good couple of inches on him, and probably twenty pounds, he’s pretty sure they look ridiculous, but he’s so goddamn happy he doesn’t even make sense anymore.
“I did the bathroom too, look,” Eddie says once he finally sets Buck back down, both of them laughing as Eddie shoves him into the bathroom.
“The bathroom? Eddie, what– ?”
“I had a couple of guys put in a new tub for you. I know how much you love yours back at the loft, that it’s long enough and deep enough for you to soak your leg in when it starts to ache, and that mine was ridiculously small, so. Well. New tub.”
Buck’s standing in the middle of the bathroom looking at the new tub as Eddie stands in the doorway looking at him.
“It would’ve been really embarrassing for you if I’d said no,” Buck says as he looks over at Eddie, eyebrow raised. “You really shot your wad here, Eds.”
“Is it cocky to say I wasn’t really worried?”
“Probably,” Buck says. “But really fucking hot too.”
“Oh yeah?” Eddie asks. “Well get over here and kiss me about it then.”
Eddie laughs when Buck barrels into him and pushes him until they’re both back in his bedroom as he mumbles something about not wanting their first kiss to be in a fucking bathroom.
And it’s as he’s laughing that Buck kisses him, messy and awkward and perfect. Buck’s arms are around his waist, and Eddie goes up on his tiptoes to press closer to Buck and deepen the kiss. The dizzy joy of it courses through him, and the thought he can do this now, that he can kiss Buck every single day of his life, is almost too much to believe.
“Can I move in today?” Buck asks when he draws back from their kiss, smiling and teasing.
“Yes,” Eddie says as he keeps smattering kisses along Buck’s jaw, his cheek, the corner of his mouth. “Right now. Let’s go get your stuff.”
“Eddie.”
“I’m serious, let’s go.”
“How about we enjoy that new bed and kiss a little bit more on it, then call Chris, then kiss a little bit more after that, maybe eat some food, and then kiss a little bit more after that too.”
“And then when we’re all done with that can we start all over again?”
Buck grabs Eddie’s face between his hands and smiles, so happy and bright, as he says, “Yes,” and kisses him again.
“I am getting you moved in here though, as soon as I can.”
Buck smooths his hands over Eddie’s face and Eddie leans into his palm.
“I’ve always been here, Eddie.”
“My heart’s always been with you.” Eddie says. “Stretched between you and Christopher. I just gotta get you closer, I need you all in one place.”
“Well, you’ve got me.”
“Finally.”
Buck tucks his face into the curve of Eddie’s neck and Eddie leans into him, wraps him up in his arms and holds him tight.
“Thank you for fighting for me,” he whispers.
Eddie slides his hands up Buck’s back to his shoulder blades, feels the warmth and the strength under his palms, and marvels at how someone so strong, so solid, can have such a fragile heart. It only makes Eddie more determined to never stop fighting for Buck, to always make sure he’s wrapped around that gentle heart like a shield protecting what’s his.
“I love you,” he says. “It’s my job.”
“You’re going to be employed for a long, long time. I’m a mess.”
“And I’m not?”
He feels Buck smile into his neck.
“That’s just a given,” Buck says. “I mean we’re smack in the middle of dead wife doppelganger summer here, Eds.”
Eddie feigns hurt.
“Too soon, man. Too soon.”
“I’m just saying, let’s aim for a really basic hot girl summer next year, huh?”
Eddie snorts.
“Yeah, okay. Deal. Although I’m telling Chris you used hot girl summer in a sentence so he can mock you about it.”
“I’m old. Cut me some slack.”
“I think it’s adorable, it’s Chris you have to worry about,” Eddie says as Buck laughs. “Promise me though that you’ll keep using it when we’re actually old and gray and Chris is like, fifty, and still pressed about it.”
“I’ll drag it out of the depths of meme hell every single summer like clockwork just for you.”
“I knew you’d be romantic.”
Buck laughs out loud again, and Eddie presses a kiss to the curve of his jaw, then to his mouth, just to see if that laughter he loves so much tastes as sweet as it sounds.
And it does.