Work Text:
The bell rang as a good handful of kids were walking into the main building. Grian had to squeeze and duck past them to get to where he wanted to go.
Grian had a small smile on his face as he walked through the corridors of the school, trying not to get shoved over. Christmas break was over, meaning they had to come back to school. While it was controversial to what other kids may think, Grian thought school wasn’t too bad. At least, not as bad as it was last year. He was mostly just excited to see his boyfriend again.
Almost as if on cue, his phone buzzed and he took it out from inside his jacket to look at the notification.
Sam Hope: Can’t wait to see you x
Grian grinned so much that he felt like his face might explode.
He hurried through the doorway and then up the stairs, trying to get to the library as quickly as his little legs could take him. He moved past the bookshelves and turned to the right, heading straight toward the meeting spot
No one was there.
“Sam?” Grian called out. A few seconds later, he took out his phone again.
Sam Hope: actually can we meet up at break instead?
“Oh.” Grian’s shoulders drooped as he typed a response. It’s fine, he shouldn’t be too selfish with Sam’s time, anyway. His mind raced to make up excuses for his boyfriend. Maybe something came up, or maybe he and his friends wanted to hang out, or maybe-
Grian Spring: okay <3
The speakers crackled as the principal’s voice came up. “Happy New Year, Truham boys. Don’t forget that there'll be students from all school years in your new form groups. I hope you all enjoy getting to know some fresh faces.”
Grian pulled up his jacket sleeve. NEW FORM ROOM: B25 was sprawled out in pen on his hand. He rolled down his sleeve with a sigh before leaving the library.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
“Oh! If it isn’t Grian Spring!” The teacher greeted him warmly as he approached his Form Room teacher’s desk. “Happy New Year.”
“Hi, sir.” Grian nodded in return. “Happy New Year.”
“Come to join the ranks of Hamlet House?” he asked, sliding a clipboard over so that the teacher could peer at it easier. A piece of loose-leaf paper was stuck to it, and Grian could catch a glimpse of cursive writing scribbled on it.
“Apparently so.”
“Let’s see, where did I put you on the seating chart again…?” The teacher paused for a moment or two. “Ah yes! You’re over there, next to Scar Nelson.” He nodded towards a seat near the back. “He’s in Year 11, so only one year older than you. One of the rugby boys too, I think. I’m sure you two will get along swimmingly,” he stopped talking for a second to write something on a yellow post-it note. “Or you can just sit in silence for the rest of the year. It really doesn’t affect me in any way whatsoever.”
Grian groaned inwardly at the teacher’s attempt to make a joke as he turned toward the rows of desks. He started to trudge over to what he assumed was his seat next to Scar. Would he bully him like many of the other rugby boys did in the past year? Oh dear.
He stopped a short distance away from his table, seeing Scar clearly now. He had messy brown hair, a thin scar on his cheek, and toned arms. Fuck, he hated how the light through the window made him look so majestic.
Scar glanced up at him. He appeared startled at first, but his lips formed into a small smile. Grian smiled back, ignoring the butterflies in his stomach as he sat down.
Grian looked at Scar. Scar looked back. They held eye contact. Scar had brilliant green eyes. Grian’s plain, dark eyes must look so bland compared to his. “Hi.” he says, cringing as his voice wavered just a little bit. Scar grinned again. He seemed to do that a lot.
“Hi.”
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
Grian took off down the hall as soon as the bell rang, announcing break time to the school. Ahh, he was so excited to see Sam!
“Hey,” Sam glanced up at him as Grian entered the band room, tucking his phone away into his pocket. He ran his fingers through his brown hair. “Sorry about earlier.”
“It’s fine!” Grian immediately replied. It was his go-to response for any type of apology given to him, even if it wasn’t fine. After all, he didn’t want to be a problem for Sam, or for anybody.
Sam stepped closer, away from the wall that he was leaning on before and now so close that their chests were almost touching. “I missed your face so much.”
Grian huffed out a small laugh, getting that warm and fuzzy feeling he often got whenever Sam said something like that. It was nice to believe that he was worth being missed, being loved. Especially after everything that happened the year before. He once thought of himself as unlovable.
“Did you have a good Christmas?” Grian asked. He saw Sam hesitate for just a second before he nodded and hummed.
“Yeah, yeah, it was alright. You?”
“Uh, yeah, it was good. My whole family was around and—”
Sam suddenly cut him off with a tender kiss, his hand gently caressing his face while doing so. “You’re so damn cute,” Sam murmured after he broke away.
“I— okay.” Grian accepted the compliment without fuss. He felt so dumb and blushy, but it was w onderful.
Not wasting any more time, Sam grabbed him by the hips to pull him into another kiss. It lasted a lot longer this time, only stopping when the bell alerted that their break was over. Sam cleared his throat and used the back of his hand to wipe his lips. His eyes hardened, almost as if he were talking to someone he despised. “See you later then, yeah?”
He ducked away to leave before Grian could respond, but he did turn back for a moment. “Still don’t tell anyone about this.”
Grian blinked. “Oh, uhm—”
When he blinked again, Sam was gone.
The warm, fluttery feeling faded away, leaving Grian standing there alone. “...Bye.”
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
Grian and Scar were growing close.
Alarmingly close.
Too close, for Grian’s taste.
But it’s not like there was anything wrong with it! Who said that rugby boys and gay nerds couldn’t get along? Ignoring what happened the previous year, no one!
Ugh, fuck this.
Why couldn’t things just make sense?
Well, it did make sense. It was valid that he was pretty defensive around someone who hung around his bullies, though Grian couldn’t start to understand why. Scar wasn’t anything like them! He was kind, funny, and one might even say charismatic. Grian could even add the word attractive to the list.
Wait, what? No, scratch that! Definitely not a good idea to put that on the list of words to describe Scar.
Just as Grian was trying to clear his thoughts, there he was: Scar Nelson. Again. For the millionth time this year.
Scar almost ran into him, dropping his stack of workbooks plus a pen before he stopped himself. “Oh, hi!”
“Hi.”
There it was again, those stupid “hi’s”. Whenever they accidentally tried to go through the doorway at the same time, they would say their “hi’s”. Whenever they passed through the hallways, they would say their “hi’s”. Whenever they sat next to each other during form, they would say their “hi’s”. He didn’t know why it was such a problem, but it was just so— awkward. There wasn’t exactly a word to explain it.
“You going that way?” Scar asked, jerking his head down the hall.
“Erm— yeah. Maths.”
“Oh! Same.” Scar played with the pen in his hand before going to scribble down something messily on a sheet of paper that sat comfortably on top of his workbooks.
“Are you — are you seriously doing your homework on the way to your lesson?”
Scar’s eyes darted away, avoiding eye contact. “I… might potentially be? I— I was just busy last night! I’m just chaotic, alright?”
“That makes you sound much cooler than you actually are.”
“Excuse you!” Scar’s gaze snapped back to meet his, eyes widening in mock hurt. “I am so cool, thank you very much.”
“Whatever you say,” Grian dismissed with a roll of his eyes. They strolled down the hall in comfortable silence for a few seconds while Grian eyed his paper. The problems Scar seemed to be struggling with were quite easy to him, and he was already calculating the answers in his head. “Do you want me to do that for you?”
Scar whipped his head around to look at him. “You — you actually know how to do this?” He squinted at Grian. “Or is this your way of sneakily calling me dumb?”
“Pfft— what?!” Grian giggled. “Yeah, I can do it for you.”
Scar hummed, considering Grian’s offer. “Well, if you do it, then I won’t learn.”
“Scar,” Grian deadpanned, “my nerd brain is literally going crazy because of how wrong you are with your answers.”
Scar sputtered before taking Grian’s hand (which made him feel twenty different emotions at once) and full on attacking him with his pen. Grian gasped sharply as he pulled away, abling the pen to draw just a small curved line on the bottom of his index finger.
“Wha — how dare you!” Grian squeaked, although he was biting back some chuckles himself.
“No, no! It’s okay, look —” Scar took his hand again and drew two small dots on top of it, making a small smiley face. “There, is that better now?”
Grian stared down at the smiley face, giving it the largest smile he could without bursting out into laughter. It smiled back, of course. It couldn’t do anything else. “Maybe. But, just for that, I’m taking back my help now.”
“Aw, wait, c’mon, I was just joking—”
Scar started to ramble on in an attempt to explain himself, but Grian had already stopped listening as a familiar face passed through the hall. Sam was heading their way.
“Hey!” Grian called out to Sam before he could walk away. He's not exactly sure why he did that. But a friendly ‘hi’ between two guys passing in a hallway won’t make anyone suspect they’re dating, right? He’s done it with Scar enough times, after all.
“What?” Sam replied almost immediately. He looked disturbed, almost disgusted in some way. Grian shuddered under his gaze. Had he done something wrong? He didn’t mean to if he did!
“Just… ‘hi.’” Grian fiddled with his trouser pockets nervously.
“Why are you talking to me? I don’t even know who you are,” Sam snapped. He then looked over to Scar. “All right, mate?”
Scar blinked rapidly, face colored with confusion. He tensed up and his eyebrows furrowed. He opened his mouth to speak, but Grian cut him off with a small nudge of his elbow. Don’t, he silently pleaded. Please don’t make a scene.
Scar hesitated before nodding slowly at Sam. “Yeah, all good.”
Sam curtly nodded back. “Yeah.”
The three stood there in an awkward silence for what felt like an eternity before Sam walked away. Scar immediately turned to Grian. “So… uhm, you know Sam?”
Grian refused to meet Scar’s caring gaze. “It’s— it’s complicated.” He shook his head. “Are you friends with him?”
Scar shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. He’s in my year. We talked a little bit.”
“Oh.”
“Uh-huh.”
They walked in silence the whole way to their classes.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
“I did it again!”
Joel slammed two plastic apple juice bottles onto their lunch table with a very annoyed expression. “I bought Lizzie’s drink, again.”
“Didn’t you do that yesterday as well?” Mumbo recalled before popping a carrot into his mouth.
Joel sighed as he slumped into his seat. “Yes, Mumbo, I did. And on Monday.”
“Lizzie’s not here, Joel,” came Etho’s gruff voice, muffled by his mask. He was typing away at his phone, seemingly not paying attention, yet Grian knew that not to be true. Etho somehow always knew what was happening.
“Gee, you think I wouldn’t have been able to pick that up by now?” Joel turned to his left, grabbing one of the bottles of apple juice to lightly thump against Etho’s head.
“She’s not been here all week,” Grian added, leaning across the table. “If you’ve really picked that up, you would be here with only one apple juice right now.”
“Shut up!” Joel attempted to flick Grian’s forehead, only missing by a few centimeters. “I just keep forgetting.”
“You’re allowed to miss her,” Mumbo piped up.
“Okay, fine. Obviously, it’s better that she’s in an all-girls school. She’s happier there.” Joel spoke as if he were trying to convince himself of that fact. “Y’know, Mr. Reed still refuses to call her Lizzie?”
“Yep.” Grian nodded. “Mr. Reed’s a huge transphobe.”
“It’s still so weird though,” Joel continued. “I mean, Lizzie was the one who really tied us together. There used to be five of us, and now there’s just… four.” He glanced over at Etho. “Actually, more like three, ‘cause Etho’s always busy texting their boyfriend.”
Etho snapped his head up from his phone screen, re-entering the conversation. “Wha— that’s not— he’s not my boyfriend!”
Joel smirked devilishly. “I’m sure your messages to him have something else to say about that! C’mon, Etho, gimme your phone—”
“Wha— JOEL, GET OFF ME—”
Grian sighed at their antics. He really didn’t want to see Joel and Etho wrestle each other today. He looked over to the field, where the rugby team was practicing. He definitely wasn’t looking for Scar, nope, not at all. His eyes just happened to follow the brunette whenever he moved. Hm, his hair is all puffed up and messy. Cute.
“Isn’t that Scar Nelson?” Joel’s words cut him out of his trance and he turned his head back to the conversation. “The guy you sit next to in form?”
“He looks like a golden retriever,” Etho inserted, hair all messed up from Joel trying to tackle them.
“Wha— he’s not even blonde!” Grian pointed out with a semi-baffled laugh.
“So?” Etho raised a brow. “Massive golden retriever energy anyways.”
Grian turned back to Scar running around. There was some truth to what Etho was saying. “Okay, maybe he does.”
“I can’t believe you’ve been sitting next to The Rugby King this whole time.” Joel shook his head in dismay.
“What do you two even talk about anyways?” Mumbo inquired, looking up from the book he had pulled out of his bookbag.
“We talk!” Grian squawked defensively.
Joel raised an eyebrow as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh yeah? About what?”
“Grian, you don’t happen to have a tissue box handy, do you?”
Scar was standing in front of him, blue ink all over his hands and some splattered over his shirt. Grian assumed the pen he was holding was the culprit, only to be proved right a moment later. “My pen just, uh, exploded.”
“Oh my god—”
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
“It’s not coming off!” Scar laughed as he scrubbed his hands under the bathroom faucet.
“You’re gonna be blue forever,” Grian joked, giggling as he watches Scar struggle.
Scar raised his hands up as he whined, “It looks like I’m wearing blue gloves!”
“You can make it the newest trend in school fashion?” Grian suggested unhelpfully.
Scar playfully considered it. “Or pretend it’s a tattoo.”
They both laughed loud enough that they almost didn’t hear the bell ring.
“Was that the first or second bell?” Scar asked.
“I’ll check the time.” Grian pulled out his phone. First bell. He read the messages that he didn’t see from his boyfriend.
Sam Hope: Music room 2??
Sam Hope: grian where the fuck are you
Sam Hope: ??? i’m waiting
Sam Hope: can’t even be bothered to text me?
Sam Hope: so fucking useless
Grian winced, hurriedly shoving his phone back into his pocket. He messed up again.
“Grian?”
Scar’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Grian stared blankly at his confused smile before registering what he wanted from him.
“Oh, yeah. First bell.”
“Well, be careful,” Joel cautioned.
“What?” Grian squinted. “Why?”
“Why? Look at them!” Joel pointed to the rugby lads on the field, tackling each other and laughing, before gesturing back at the table. “And look at us. We are a group of borderline outcasts. He is the star of the rugby team, and he’s friends with a bunch of stinky Year 11s who are just like the guys who bullied you last year.”
“But like…” Grian drummed his fingers on the lunch table. “Scar’s different. He’s nice.”
Joel scoffed. “I’m sure he’s a completely different person with his friends, Grian. Two-faced and cruel. Just… be careful.”
Joel could tell that Grian wasn’t paying attention to his warnings just by the expression on his face. It was that same smitten, weird look that he had when talking about someone he liked. Joel simply sighed, shifting his attention toward his phone and opening up his chats with Lizzie.
Joel: hey i have news from truham
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
“Lunch ends in five minutes, girls!”
Lizzie sat in the cafeteria in front of a tray of mostly eaten food. Once the notification from Joel popped up, she clicked it, opening their message thread.
Lizzie: Spill the tea
Joel: grian’s obsessed with some rugby lad in his form
Lizzie: Oh NO
Joel: why is he like this?
Joel: anyways, how are you?? how’s higgs
Lizzie: Higgs is sooo much better than Truham
Lizzie: No one’s chucked a sandwich across the cafeteria all week
Joel: omg
Joel: heaven
Joel: made any new friends?
Lizzie looked around at her empty lunch table. She sighed and slumped back in her seat, trying not to feel disappointed or discouraged.
Lizzie: yep! Everyone’s really nice :)
Did she feel good about lying to Joel? Of course not, but she really didn’t want to worry him. She was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard someone clear their throat. She looked up into the eyes of a teacher and hurriedly put her phone away.
“Is that a phone, Lizzie?” the teacher asked, already knowing the answer. After Lizzie hesitated for just a second, the teacher held out her hand and raised her eyebrow. “Well?”
“Erm… yeah,” Lizzie admitted, begrudgingly handing her phone to the teacher in front of her.
“We don’t make exceptions, Miss Lizzie, even for new students.” The teacher bounced her phone as if to put emphasis on it. “You can have this back from reception at the end of the day.”
Welp. There goes her company.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
Grian stepped off of the bus, reading a text message he got from Sam.
Sam Hope: meet me in the library?
Grian didn’t bother to respond, simply stuffing his phone back into his jacket’s pocket and picking up his bag.
He slowly trudged up to Sam, meeting him face to face. Sam took his hands and brushed his thumb over his knuckles. “You know, I’m sorry about ignoring you yesterday.”
Grian blinked at him before slowly nodding his acceptance of Sam’s apology. He did seem genuine enough. Besides, they were boyfriends, and they should be able to trust each other!
Sam leaned closer, gently pushing his lips against Grian’s and rubbing patterns onto his hand. It felt good. It felt nice. Things were going to be okay. Even though it was unfortunate that he could only meet up with Sam during breaks or before school, Grian understood that figuring out your sexuality took time. He would be patient with him.
Yeah.
Things were going to be okay.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
“It’s been a while since you’ve hidden in here during lunch.”
Grian opened his lunch box to a sandwich and other small snacks. He sat in the corner of the art classroom, his back up against a counter. On the ground next to him, there were several small paint splotches from students accidentally dropping their paint brushes. Mixed in were some small doodles he made previously while eating in this very spot. His proudest work was a huge painting of a tree, the trunk coming from the corner where he sat and the branches reaching out in all different directions.
“I’m not hiding,” Grian replied in a meek voice.
Mr. Skizz looked up from his work. “Then what are you doing?”
“Eating lunch,” Grian said simply, waving his lunch box in the air.
“Oh, right.” Mr. Skizz stared blankly at him, fiddling with his pen. “So everything’s alright then? No bullies I need to sort out again?”
“Nope,” Grian chirped quickly. “Everything’s fine.”
Mr. Skizz hummed and uncapped his pen, beginning to write something again on a post-it note before Grian interrupted him. “Actually, there is kind of someone.”
“A bully?”
“No! Uhm, I’ve… I’ve got a boyfriend.”
“Oh! Congratulations.” Mr. Skizz visibly relaxed, though he still looked concerned. “What’s his name? Maybe I’ve seen him around.”
“No… it’s…” Grian bit his lip. He didn’t know to put his situation into words. Mr. Skizz’s eyes softened as he dropped the pen onto his desk. He always knew how to wait patiently for Grian to get his words out. “I don’t even know if he even thinks we’re boyfriends.” He paused. “He… ignores me sometimes. He doesn’t even like people seeing us talking in corridors. He pretends like he doesn’t even know who I am. And…” Grian stopped, considering if he should tell Mr. Skizz about it all. About how Sam could be pretty hurtful and just plain mean sometimes. He shook his head, shoving the idea away. “Never mind. But when it’s just the two of us, it’s fine.”
“Well,” Mr. Skizz clicked his tongue, “have you talked to him about that?”
Grian studied an utterly fascinating spot on the floor. “No.”
Mr. Skizz raised an eyebrow. “Then you probably should.”
Grian groaned and leaned forward, hitting his head with his lunch box.
Mr. Skizz sighed as a small, tired smile spread across his lips. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Grian. Have you talked to your friends about this?”
“They wouldn’t get it.”
“Why not?”
“Because they’re not gay.” Grian paused and thought about Etho. “Well, most of them, I think.”
“Just… try to talk to him okay? It’s better to be honest about your feelings in the long run.”
Grian sighed and leaned his head back. “I hate being honest.”
“Trust me, I know,” Mr. Skizz said lightheartedly, leaning back into his chair. “It took you three months to tell me about the bullying.”
Grian ducked his head, but he gently smiled. It was nice having someone like Mr. Skizz around.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
Grian trudged out of the school building, trying to catch the bus home. There were lots of students gathered around the general area. Grian spotted Scar catching a ball out of the air and laughing. Probably hanging out with one of his friends.
Then he looked to the left, and his heart dropped to the ground.
There was Sam, kissing another girl. He seemed so happy! He seemed so much happier than when he was with Grian. Grian just stood there, feeling like he couldn’t breathe. It was like everything stopped, and the only thing that he could see was Sam with this other girl.
Grian slowly backed away, blinking rapidly to try and prevent tears from falling, before running in the other direction.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
Grian sat on his bed, staring blankly at his phone as he tried to build up the courage to send a text or two. The screen was opened to his messages with Sam. Ugh, how could he even bring this situation up? Should he not mention it at all and pretend that everything was fine? No, he couldn’t do that! He slowly started to type.
do you have a girlfriend?|
Delete.
I HATE YOU |
Delete.
i dont want to meet up anymore|
His finger hovered over the ‘Send’ button. Was this a good idea? He didn’t want to send something he couldn’t take back. He shook his head.
The man cheated on you Grian, he thought to himself. This is for the best.
He sent the message and, of course, this sparked many messages from Sam.
Sam Hope: ???????
Grian Spring: sorry
Sam Hope: I dont understand??
Sam Hope: ffs we’re not gonna get caught
Sam Hope: i’ve literally done nothing wrong. I said sorry the other day
Sam Hope: don’t ignore me, grian
Sam Hope: hello????
Grian turned off his phone and rolled his blanket over him, trying to ignore the terrible feeling growing in his stomach.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
He leaned against the kitchen counter, eating his breakfast of bland cornflakes. He chased the flakes in his bowl before spinning his spoon in the bowl a couple of times to try and sink the bits of cereal into the milk.
“Good morning!”
Grian snapped his head up, almost spilling his corn flakes onto his sweater. “Jesus, Pearl! You scared me.”
Pearl giggled and sipped the cup of orange juice she had in her hand. “It’s fun to scare you. Your reactions are priceless.” She briefly surveyed the kitchen area. “Is Jimmy awake yet?”
“Yeah. He’s getting changed, pretty sure.” Grian went back to playing with his cereal.
“You good?” Pearl asked, setting her orange juice onto the kitchen counter.
Grian looked up at her and blinked. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Pearl shrugged. “You just got that look on your face. Y’know?”
“Not really.”
She sighed. “So, there’s nothing going on?”
Grian looked back down at his cereal and looked up again. Should he tell her? She’s his older sister, and probably one of the most trustworthy people Grian knows. “I… sort of broke up with my boyfriend yesterday.”
“Sort of?” The ends of Pearl’s lips twitched up, though he could sense the concern she hid behind it.
“It’s complicated! I’m just… going through a lot right now.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
“No.”
The two siblings sat in silence for a while, the only sound being Jimmy’s footsteps upstairs and the occasional clink of Grian’s spoon accidentally hitting the bowl.
“Was he a knob?” Pearl finally inquired, breaking the silence.
He hesitated. “I guess.”
“Well done then,” she said, before picking up her glass of orange juice and taking a sip, smiling into her cup.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
“Hypothetically, what type of guy would you want to go out with?”
Pearl and Grian were riding on the bus, the freshly paved cement making the journey a bit smoother than usual. The windows were all fogged up from how cold it was. Grian looked at Pearl in surprise and sniffed. “One that doesn’t mind people seeing us talking to each other would be nice.”
“Someone who’s also a nerd, or do you want an ‘opposites attract’ thing?”
“I don’t think I can afford to be that specific, to be honest. Why, you trying to set me up with someone?” he smirked.
“C’mon G, just hypothetically. Dream guy.”
“I don’t know! Just someone… someone I can have a laugh with. And… he’s nice. And kind. And he likes being around me.”
The bus abruptly stopped and Grian used his thick jacket sleeve to wipe off the fog on the window, making just enough room for him to peer outside and see Scar and his friends throwing a ball around. He looked so happy and cheerful, and he had a huge grin plastered on his face and Grian wanted nothing more than to kiss it off and— oh my god, he definitely had a crush.
“I’ll probably just settle for someone tall.”
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
“Come on, Year 10!” the P.E. teacher shouted as she watched all of the boys run the track. “We’ve been doing this all term and no one’s beaten Grian’s time yet! Come on! Yes! Keep it moving! Grian’s leaving you all in the dust!”
Scar turned from watching the soccer game that the Year 11s were playing to look through the fence at the Year 10s. His eyes were fixed on Grian, watching him run much faster than the other boys trailing far behind him. The cogs in his brain turned swiftly as he mulled on an idea.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
Grian gritted his teeth as he tried to stuff all of his drum supplies and school books into his locker. Even though he considered himself to be pretty clean and tidy, there was just something with school lockers that made him not want to organize anything.
“Grian!”
He jumped and most of his drum learning books fell to the floor. His head jerked to where the voice came from and saw Scar walking up to him. Scar barely stalled, almost immediately starting to pick up Grian’s books for him.
“Sorry, I’m sorry— didn’t mean to scare ya—” Scar spluttered out as he handed his books back to Grian.
“No, no! It’s fine. Thanks,” Grian said, placing his books back on top of each other in a neat pile.
“You play the drums?” Scar asked, eyeing the drumsticks and the learning books.
“Oh, uh, yeah.”
“That’s so cool!” he exclaimed, smiling brightly. “I’ve always wanted to learn how to play something, but I never really dedicated myself to learning something. I always thought the mandolin was pretty cool, though. Honestly, I’ve done a lot of research on it, and checked out the prices. Oh! You wanna know some facts about the mandolin? So— ” Scar paused, clearing his throat. “Sorry, I’m rambling again. I don’t think you would wanna hear about some random guy talking about the mandolin all day.”
If he was being honest, Grian could listen to Scar talk about anything for the rest of his life and he wouldn’t get bored. But obviously he wasn't going to tell him that. ”You’re good. Is there anything you need?”
“Oh, yeah! I wanted to ask you something—”
“Grian, I wanted to tell you that I’m gay too, and I’m in love with you. Do you want to go out with me? I want to be with you forever.”
Ha! He wished.
“Do you want to join the rugby team?”
Grian blinked. “What?”
“Well, we have enough players for the team, but we’re not allowed to actually play against other teams without a reserve,” Scar explained further. “And, y’know, I saw you run really fast in P.E— like, super fast! So, I thought that you might be interested.”
Grian just stared dumbly at him, trying to process the information. Him? Playing rugby? In another universe, maybe, but in this one? No chance. But, one part of his heart argued, this means spending more time with Scar! Was he really about to waste time running around playing rugby just to spend some quality time with him? “I… don't really know how to play,” he finally spit out.
“That’s fine!” Scar said brightly. “I can teach you.”
“Aren’t I a bit small and weak to be a rugby player?” Grian asked, tilting his head.
“We’re just a school team, y’know. Nothing serious.”
“So you’re saying I am small and weak?”
“Wait— no! Absolutely not! I was just—” Scar slapped a hand to his forehead and laughed. “Okay, you got me there. But, uh, seriously. Do you want to join?”
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
“You said yes?!”
Grian stopped walking abruptly at Joel’s sudden shout. “Well— well, yeah.”
Joel groaned. “Grian, he’s just another silly crush—”
“It’s not a crush!” Grian denied hotly before Joel could continue. Okay, maybe it was a crush, but he definitely wasn’t going to let Joel out of all people know that. “I don’t just fall for any guy who’s nice to me.”
Joel stared at him blankly. “And you’re sure you want to spend a whole hour with giant, moronic, rugby lads?”
“Well— yes!”
Joel buried his head into his hands. “C’mon guys, back me up on this.” He jerked his head towards Etho and Mumbo, who were standing idly by.
Etho raised both of his hands up. “Sorry, man. You’re on your own here.”
Mumbo gave a sheepish grin and shrugged.
Joel sighed and turned back to Grian. “It’s your funeral.”
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
Grian walked down the corridors to the locker room where most of the rugby players were waiting. As he was making his way down, he could hear the murmurs and whispers from the room bouncing off the walls.
“Grian Spring, though?” a voice said, making Grian screech to a halt in front of the door.
“Isn’t he in like, Year 8?” another voice pipes up.
“No, Year 10.”
“He’s like, well, skinny though. Can he even play? I’m sure he’s a nice guy, but we actually want to be decent.”
“Does he even like sports? Everyone knows he’s gay,” a new voice said, making many others laugh.
Grian balled his hands into a fist before eventually sighing and pushing the door open, cool air conditioning blasting into his face. The laughter and giggles died out as soon as the door creaked with his presence. Grian got a clear look of the room, huge Year 11s sitting on the benches with their coats hung up on the racks.
Scar stood up from the crowd and waved. “Grian! Hi!”
Grian felt himself shrink under the gaze of all the other boys. “Hi.”
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
“So, there are four ways to score in rugby. A try, a conversion, a penalty, or a drop-goal,” Scar explained as the two of them walked towards the field. “A try is where you ground the ball over the line, conversions and penalties are where you get the chance to kick the ball at the goal without being tackled, and a drop-goal is where you kick it through the posts during general play.”
Grian stared at him, trying to process everything he had just been told. “That. Is a lot of information.”
Scar chuckled as he scratched the back of his head. “You’ll probably pick it up after a few games!”
“I hope you’re prepared for me to be absolute crap.”
“For all we know, you could be better than me!”
“GRIAN SPRING!” A new voice joined the conversation, making both of the boys jump. As Grian looked straight ahead, there was the coach of the rugby team. She had bangs and wore a cute beanie over her head. “So you’re the chosen one.”
“Uh…” Grian mumbled as the coach came closer.
“What year are you in?” she asked.
“Year 10.”
“Ever played rugby?”
“Uhm… no.”
“But you’re a fast runner, yeah?”
“I… think so?”
“Good,” she nodded. “We need an extra wing. Know what that is?”
“...No.”
The coach hummed. She turned to Scar. “Why don’t you take today’s practice to go over the basics with Grian? Make him watch the others play, teach him how to score points, whatever you can think of.” Scar nodded and saluted, making the coach smile.
“That’s Coach Aimsey,” Scar said after she left. “She’s real nice, you two will get along just fine.” Grian gulped. “Anyways, where were we? Right! So...”
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
Grian threw the ball in an underhand motion, twisting his body in a certain angle. The ball landed comfortably into Scar’s arms. “That’s it! I knew you’d get it.”
He straightened up, surprised. “That… was good?”
“Yep! Perfect pass, if I’ve ever seen one! And that was only, what? Your 10th try? Pretty sure I took much more time to make some of my passes like that. You’re a natural.” He patted Grian’s shoulder. “Well, we’ve covered scoring and passing, but there’s still some time left. Do… do you want to try tackling?”
Grian grimaced. “Tackling?”
“Yeah! It’s not too hard! Just watch the other guys on the field; they’re playing a match right now. You just have to take the player with the ball down by grabbing them below their shoulders. Wanna give it a go?”
Grian watched as the Year 11s tackled each other for the ball, then turned to Scar with a mortified expression on his face. “I know I was joking about being weak, but I am way too weak to be doing this.”
“Oh come on!” he said, “Where is your ‘can do’ attitude?”
“She left,” Grian deadpanned. “A long time ago.”
“Just try to tackle me. I won’t dodge. Pinky promise.” Scar held out his pinky towards him. Grian just stared blankly at it, making Scar pout but eventually withdrew his hand. “Alright, alright. But just come on! I bet you can do it.”
He hesitantly began to run at him, using his arms to latch onto Scar’s waist and awkwardly bringing him down onto the ground, making the other choke out a small “oof” sound as he fell. Before Grian could fully process that his arm was around another boy’s waist and that he was on top of said boy, Scar sat up and barked out a laugh. “That was perfect.”
Grian scrambled off of him, giving room for Scar to stand up. “Was it?”
“Yeah! You’re getting good at this. Now let’s try again while I’m actually moving.”
Grian sighed and stood up. I’m going to die.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
The next few weeks rolled by, the days including Grian getting more and more comfortable around his teammates and getting used to their humor and traditions. Sure, it was a bit awkward at first, him mostly sticking to talking with Scar and Coach Aimsey, but he eventually branched out. Most of his teammates were pretty nice, and although he’d never actually admit it, he quite likes hanging out with them.
He’s also taken this time to catch up on all the rugby terms and rules, with the help of Scar and a few of the other players. How to pass, how to tackle, a try, a conversion, a penalty, a drop-goal. He’s got it all down!
Grian was improving quite a lot and he was proud of himself because of it. He didn’t care for the surprised gawking some of his teammates did whenever he did something successfully, though. It was something about the assumption that gays are bad at sports, but all it did was remind him of… of last year. Scar was always quick to stick up for him whenever one of them actually had the gall to say it out loud, though, and that made him feel better than scoring any point in rugby could.
“Heh, your hair’s sticking up,” Scar commented one day as they headed towards the locker rooms after practice.
“Is it?” Grian’s hands flew to his head, trying to smooth out the rebelling strands. “Y’know, I was thinking about cutting it.”
“What?” Scar’s eyes widened, earning a confused glance from Grian. “It’d just be a big change,” he explained. Grian hummed.
“So… am I actually any good?” Grian asked after a few seconds.
“At rugby? Of course!”
“Really?”
“Yeah! Why the sudden doubt?”
“I’m super scared of the thought of letting everyone down and I don’t even know whether they like me or not or if they even want me on the team or—”
“Nothing, it’s fine. Just curious.”
Scar glanced at Grian with a bit of concern, but didn’t say anything. The two of them walked in silence for a bit before Grian piped up, “All of the older boys kinda remind of my past bullies.”
Scar let out a small gasp and his mouth formed into a small ‘o’ shape. He reached out and placed his hand on Grian’s shoulder. “Well, if it means anything, I like you and want you on the team!”
“Heh. Good.” Grian wasn’t really paying attention though, more focusing on the fact that Scar said that he liked him. Even though there is no chance that was romantic whatsoever, it still felt like a win.
As they reached the locker rooms and started to change their clothes, Grian’s phone buzzed.
Sam Hope: You’re at rugby, right? Meet me in the music block afterwards
Grian Spring: why???
Sam Hope: Please Grian I want to talk
Grian Spring: fine
“Grian?” Scar’s voice suddenly shook him out of his trance.
Grian jumped at his voice, startled but regained his composure. “Yeah?”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, uhm, sorry I just— er, I’m meeting up with someone after this. Sorry.”
“O…kay.”
Grian hurriedly put on his clothes and coat, rushing out the door. He could still feel Scar’s worried gaze burn at the back of his head, but all he wanted to do was get there as quickly as he could, listen to what Sam had to say, and leave. He wanted to go home.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
The music block was empty, as expected. Grian trudged down the hallway, now free from the wrath of trampeding students. “Grian!” he heard Sam’s voice call from behind him, and he turned around to see the brown-haired man leaning against a wall. Grian hesitantly walked up to him. “You’re wearing a coat? It’s not even that cold.”
“It’s February.”
“Lame.”
Grian scowled and dropped his backpack. “What do you want, Sam?” Sam leaned off of the wall and walked closer to Grian, bringing his arm up to cup his face before he slapped it away. “Don’t touch me,” he stated coldly.
“God, what’s your problem? I was trying to be nice.”
Grian pursed his lips. “I said that I didn’t want to meet up with you anymore—”
“Yeah, and I don’t believe you.”
“What?”
Sam shrugged as if it was no big deal. “I think it’s clear that you’re just scared of us getting caught.”
Something inside of Grian snapped. He wasn’t sure if it was Sam simply spewing pure nonsense, or if it was all of the things Sam’s done to him in the past finally catching up to him, but he felt enraged. “Why would I be scared?” He leaned closer. “Everyone at school already knows I’m gay. You’re the one who’s scared of getting caught.” Giran jutted out a finger at Sam. “You can’t even look at me when other people are around, not to mention that you already have a girlfriend.” Sam simply stared at him, his eyes widening now that he’s realized he’s been caught. “Yeah, I’ve seen you with her by the school gates. Thanks for telling me. Oh, wait! You didn’t.”
A few seconds of complete silence passed by. “Don’t— Don’t be angry at me for not wanting to come out yet,” Sam finally stuttered out.
“I’m not angry about that!” Grian shouted, his voice echoing off the corridors. “If you’re figuring out your stuff, fine! That’s fine. Take your time. I would’ve been there for you. Don’t you think I, of all people, would understand you’re figuring out your sexuality?
“Then why are you angry?” Sam stepped closer. He could feel the edge of Sam’s breath on his nose.
“I’m angry because you never cared about my feelings at all. We only meet up when you want to. Where you want to. Whenever you feel like kissing a boy. You don’t care about me at all. I could be anyone! You don’t give a shit.” Grian clutched the ends of his school uniform so hard he thought it might pull off.
“That’s obviously not true—”
“But it is true! You heard the rumors about me and were like ‘Oh good, there’s finally a gay guy who I can safely get off with!’ That’s—”
Grian was cut off by Sam suddenly slamming him against the wall, cupping his face while doing so. Their bodies were pressed uncomfortably together, and he could feel Sam breathe heavily against his face. “You’re so hot when you’re angry.”
Grian paled, frozen. “What the f—”
Sam brought his mouth to his. It was rough and displeasuring, unlike the other times where he felt bliss and safe. This felt like he was drowning. Grian attempted to push him off. “Don’t—”
“Grian,” Sam pressed back harder, trapping him against the wall and holding a death grip on his arms. Grian choked back a sob. “I know you like me.”
“ STOP IT! ” he screamed.
“Grian, I like you, but I’m figuring stuff out. Literally, what more do you want from me?!”
Sam kissed him again. Grian let him. It was useless, he couldn’t do this anymore. Tears were streaming down his face, and his cries were drowned out. His hands shook as Sam continued to have his way with him, until—
Sam was suddenly pulled away, and Grian felt like he could breathe once more. He saw his savior— Scar — manhandle Sam, pushing him away. “He told you to stop, you fucking prick!” Sam widened his eyes, and the two of them stared at each other for a few beats. “Go on. Get lost.”
Sam panted heavily, glaring at the both of them before eventually retreating away. Scar stared him down until he finally left the building before turning back to Grian. He was still backed up against the wall, his chest heaving and blinking away more tears from falling— it was pathetic, honestly, having Scar see him like this. He quickly wiped his tears away and staggered towards where his backpack was, picking it up and heaving it over his shoulder.
“Are… are you okay?” Scar asked, reaching out to touch his arm but pulling away after a moment’s thought.
“Did you hear all of that?” Grian asked in a shaky voice instead of answering the question.
“Most of it.” Grian looked down, avoiding eye contact. “I just… thought something was up when we were changing, so I… I wanted to check to see if everything was alright.”
Grian looked back up again, biting his lip. “I’m sorry.”
Scar shook his head, frantically waving his hands. “You have nothing to be sorry about. If anything, I should be apologizing, since I kinda followed you around like a stalker.” He sputtered out an awkward laugh.
“Sorry.”
He stared blankly at Grian and ducked his head. “You say sorry a lot.” Grian opened his mouth to apologize before Scar interrupted, “Don’t say it.”
“...I kind of want to say it.”
“Don’t!”
Grian let out a chuckle, then started to double over with laughter. Scar stared at him with a dumbfounded expression, but gave him a confused smile. He stopped laughing after a few seconds and wiped more tears away from his eyes. “I’m pretty sure I’m going hysterical.”
Scar patted him on the shoulder, helping him calm down. “We should get going. We’ll get locked in here if we stay any longer.”
“Yeah,” Grian nodded, catching his breath. He followed Scar out the door, walking silently together, their shoulders ever so slightly brushing against each other while doing so.
They strolled off of the school campus, eventually stopping as the sidewalk split into two paths. He pointed to the left. “I’m going this way, so…”
Scar nodded. “Yeah, I’m that way.” He jerked his read towards the right.
“Oh, yeah. Uhm. Bye!” Grian waved at him, Scar smiling gently at him and waving back before heading off. Grian watched him walk off into the sunset for a moment, silently admiring his hair and the small spring in his step before Grian eventually turned away and started heading towards the bus stop. Him and Scar were getting so much closer, and he felt giddy just at the thought. It was a nice breath of fresh air, especially after what happened today. He put that memory to the back of his head.
He eventually reached the bus stop and sat down, pulling out his phone and opening his texts with Scar. His fingers started to type a thank-you message, but he groaned in frustration as he couldn’t think of how to finish them.
~‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚.~
“Good practice, Scar?”
Scar quietly peered out the car window, the flashes of buildings and trees zooming past him. He rested his head against the cold glass of the window, thinking about the events of today. What he saw and heard was so… scary. He hated it.
“Scar?”
“Huh?” Scar turned towards his mom. “Oh. Yeah, it was normal.” His mom hummed.
Scar’s phone dinged, making both of them glance at his pocket. He took his phone out to find a notification from Grian:
Thank you x
Scar didn’t know why that made him feel all tingly and happy, but he turned to the window again and let out a huge smile out into the world. However, he felt like someone was walking by and just saw some teenage boy grinning like a fool, so he stopped and turned away. The smile still lingered on his face for just a moment at the thought of Grian, though.