Chapter Text
Dustin’s screams echo through the night air as Steve fights with everything he’s got to tear himself free of the vine wrapped around his legs. He pulls with all his might against the blackened tendrils, but he can’t seem to do any damage. His fingernails scrape up gunk and slime, but the vines stay firmly in place. Dustin is crying out Steve’s name, begging for his help, but the vine just tightens further.
He tries to call out to Dustin, to let him know that he’s right here, that he’s coming to help, but the words get caught in his throat as another vine whips up around his neck. Another blood curdling scream tears through the air. Robin.
He’s clawing at the vines holding him down, mustering up every ounce of strength in his body to rip free of their grasp, but every time he manages to loosen one vine, another snakes around his body and squeezes him impossibly tighter.
Another scream, this time unmistakably Eddie’s. Steve’s blood runs cold. He feels like he’s moving in slow motion. Please, not like this. Steve can help, he can fight. He reaches out desperately to where his nail bat is lying on the ground beside him, but no matter how hard he fights, it remains just out of reach.
They’re going to die. They’re all going to die and it’s my fault.
One by one, the musty air of the upside down becomes even thicker as it fills with a horrifying chorus of screams and pleas for help. Every single person who Steve loves, each member of his family is crying out in agony, begging Steve to come save them. He can’t breathe, can’t move, and as the pressure of the vines continues to tighten more and more, he jolts awake.
As Steve opens his eyes, he’s already standing, breath heaving in his chest. He grabs for the vine around his neck, but his hands find nothing but clammy skin. He scans the dark room frantically, searching for the threat that has his heart pounding in his ears.
His eyes begin to adjust to the dark, and the dark blobs morph from hellish creatures back into his bedroom furniture. Fuck, it was just another nightmare. Vecna is dead, Steve made sure of that personally. They’re safe. He’s in his room, and no one is screaming his name.
He grabs his bedpost and tries to take a steadying breath, but it comes out as more of a sob, strangled off by the tightness in his throat.
“They’re okay,” he manages to choke out. “They’re okay.”
He squeezes his eyes shut and scrubs a hand across his face. The backs of his eyelids flash with visions of vines and the ringing in his ears still sounds too much like the screams of his friends. He fumbles his way to his bathroom on shaky legs and cranks on the faucet. He cups icy water in his hands and splashes it onto his face.
He huffs out another breath before peering up at his reflection in the mirror. His face is red and splotchy, eyes wide and frantic, hair slicked with sweat. He opens the medicine cabinet in frustration, angling the mirror away from his face.
Why can’t he just get past this? It’s been almost half a year since they closed the portals for good, but Steve hasn’t had a restful night ever since. They almost lost Max. Did lose Eddie, if only for a minute and a half.
Steve’s mind flashes with unwanted memories at the thought. Hospital beds and doctors, the feeling of Eddie’s blood dripping down Steve’s back, Max lying motionless for weeks on end. He shakes his head, trying to clear the thoughts.
He knows they’ve all been through hell and are working through it in different ways, and nightmares are basically just second nature for the entire party now, but no one else is still waking up every night screaming. Steve wasn’t even the one who dealt with the worst of it either; wielding a nail bat and dealing with Russians is nothing compared to what El went through. Or Will, or Max, or any of the kids for that matter. They’re still just kids and have dealt with more than their fair share of shit for a lifetime.
Steve presses the heels of his palms to his eyes and sucks a breath through his teeth. He’s supposed to be the strong one, not the one struggling. He lets out a heavy sigh. There’s no way he’s getting back to sleep tonight. He never does.
When he feels his breathing return to a somewhat normal pace, he turns off the water and re-enters his room. He eyes the keys on his dresser. He could just lay back down in bed, try his best to get some rest before having to be up for work in a few hours.
Fat chance.
With a deep sigh, Steve grabs a shirt and some jeans from the floor that didn’t quite make it into his hamper last night and pulls them on. He grabs his car keys and heads downstairs.
The only thing that seems to clear his mind after a nightmare is going for a drive. The radio comes on automatically as Steve starts the car, and even though the song playing is not quite his usual taste, the fact that it’s filling the air with something other than his own thoughts helps calm him a little.
Before he’s even consciously made the decision to drive there, Steve finds himself pulling on to Dustin’s street. He drives by the Henderson household slowly, seeing their car in the driveway and all the house lights off. Dustin’s bike is on its side on the front lawn, so he must be inside.
Steve breathes a sigh of relief. Dustin is home. He’s safe. He circles around the block towards Robin’s next, the circuit all but burned into his memory after so many nights just like this one.
Her house is the same, car out front and lights off. Her bedroom window is open a crack, so Steve is pretty confident she’s inside; she can’t sleep with it shut, even in the winter.
He feels the tension inside of him slowly begin to unwind as he continues his trek across town. The Sinclair’s, the Byers’, the Wheeler’s. Each one completely peaceful.
His final stop is the trailer park. He pulls in to get a good look at Max and Eddie’s trailers, parking in front of Eddie’s when he’s satisfied with his findings.
By the time he turns off the car, the sky is beginning to brighten around him. He lets his head fall to the steering wheel as the adrenaline fades and a wave of exhaustion sweeps over him.
Steve doesn’t talk about his nightmares with anyone. He’s always had a hard time asking for help; it was much easier to re-direct concern with a wink and a smile, or make a joke and laugh it off. Then when he fell into all of this apocalypse shit, he was the babysitter, the big brother, the protector. He worries enough about his family, they don’t need to worry about him too.
Steve feels his chest and throat tighten into something that feels dangerously close to crying. Protector. Protector. Protector.
***
“Steve?”
Steve awakes with a start, jolting upright in his seat. He blinks against the blaze of sunlight flooding his vision, squinting towards the source of the sound.
Eddie is standing a few feet away in the doorway of his trailer, brows furrowed with concern.
Shit, he didn’t mean to fall asleep here. He didn’t mean to fall asleep at all. Eddie rushes towards the open passenger side window, eyes scanning over Steve anxiously.
“What is it? Are you okay? Is someone—” Eddie’s head whips towards Max’s trailer.
“No, no code red,” Steve assures him quickly. “Everyone is fine, I promise.”
Eddie breathes a visible sigh of relief. Steve’s heart twinges a little. He’s glad Eddie is a part of his life these days, but he wishes that him joining the party had been under different circumstances. It never really subsides, the fear that it’s not really done for good, Steve understands that all too well. It hurts that Eddie has to live with that fear now too.
Steve attempts a reassuring smile, but it must not be quite as convincing as he had hoped based on the look in Eddie’s eyes.
“Everyone?”
“Hm?”
Eddie crosses his forearms on the edge of the window, ducking his head down to Steve’s eye level. “Well, I don’t think everyone is fine.”
Steve’s skin prickles a little under Eddie’s intense gaze. He shifts in his seat.
“No, seriously, they’re all—”
“I know, I trust you.” Eddie’s smile is a little sad.
Steve opens his mouth to respond, but Eddie beats him to the punch. “To what do I owe the pleasure then?”
Steve winces slightly, reminded that Eddie did, in fact, just find him passed out in his car in front of his place. Right.
“Yeah, right, sorry,” Steve breathes a laugh. “I… have plans with Max. Got here early and must have dozed off for a second. My bad.”
Eddie narrows his eyes. “Plans. With Max.”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Today?”
“What’s with the interrogation, dude? You’re worse than the Russians, I swear.” Steve chuckles lightly.
Eddie doesn’t laugh, instead narrowing his eyes even further. “Don’t you work today?” He glances at his watch. “In like, an hour?”
“You know my work schedule?” Steve says, an odd warmth spreading under his skin.
Eddie’s eyes snap back open. “No. Maybe. Not important, answer the damn question.”
Steve can’t stop himself from smiling at Eddie’s flustered state. “Okay, yeah, you got me, stalker, I work today. Happy?”
“A-ha!” Eddie pumps his fist in the air triumphantly. It’s dorky and adorable, in classic Eddie fashion. Steve shakes his head fondly.
“So…?” Eddie prompts.
“So what?”
“Steve,” Eddie shoots him a look, his voice firm and insistent.
Steve briefly considers doubling down, lying through his teeth to avoid an awkward conversation, but upon turning back to Eddie, he’s met with big brown eyes staring at him with a genuine curiosity and concern, and Steve can’t find it in himself to lie.
“I… just had to check everyone was okay.”
Eddie’s gaze softens with understanding, and Steve has to look away.
“Bad one?”
“Yeah,” Steve exhales the word. “But everyone is good, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
Eddie hums, and Steve turns back towards him. After a moment of silence, Eddie speaks.
“You snore when you sleep.”
Steve splutters for a second, taken aback. “Wha— I do not!”
“I could hear you from inside, dude,” Eddie grins, pushing himself up from the window.
“I was barely even asleep!”
“Surprised you didn’t wake up the whole trailer park, honestly.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Steve laughs. “I bet you do the same.”
“Only one way to find out, sweetheart.” Eddie lowers his voice seductively.
Steve feels his cheeks heat, somehow still affected by Eddie’s playful flirtation even after all this time. “In your dreams, Munson.”
He glances at the dashboard clock. “Shit, I should head over to Robin’s soon. Uh, sorry for the surprise visit, didn’t mean to worry you.”
Eddie smiles brightly. “Trust me, there are much worse things to wake up to. You’re off at 8, right?”
Steve raises an eyebrow. “Creep.”
Eddie responds by folding his hands under his cheek and fake snoring with an impressive volume.
Steve flips him off, laughing. Eddie shoots back a wave and a grin, backing away from the car to give him room to pull out.
He glances at his reflection in the rearview mirror as he exits the trailer park, noticing his face is a little flushed from the interaction. Eddie somehow always knows exactly what to say to wind Steve up, and at this point he’s given up trying to hide how it makes him blush. He seems to get a kick out of flustering Steve, and oddly enough, it doesn’t bother Steve in the slightest. Robin, however, loves to tease him mercilessly for it. He hopes it fades by the time he gets to her house.