Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

So far, this away mission could’ve gone a lot better. When the captain had told him yesterday that the two of them would leave the next day for a short away mission, Chekov had been incredibly excited, thanking the captain for choosing him to come along. They had a rather simple task to fulfil, examining an unknown, human-build looking outpost discovered by the scanners on an otherwise seemingly uninhabited planet. Because of the strong magnetic and electrical interferences on this planet, they hadn’t been able to beam down properly and had taken a small shuttle instead. That wouldn’t have been a problem, if the planets quick changing weather hadn’t come in their way in the form of a particularly strong electrical storm that messed up their navigations and controls leaving them almost flying blind. Quite literally blind since one couldn’t see more than a few meters ahead through the thick clouds. Chekov had done his best to get him and the captain safely to the ground, which more or less meant he had crashed the ship somewhere into the middle of unknown territory. So now he found himself pressed back into his seat, with the seatback cutting roughly into his neck and his ears and head ringing uncomfortably from the crash.

“Chekov, hey Chekov! You alright?” The captain’s voice seemed to come from far away and Chekov blinked a couple time before he noticed the other man’s presence next to him in the other seat who was, despite looking as shaken as Chekov felt, already trying to get rid of his seatbelt. Chekov realized he should probably do the same, but his brain felt oddly slow.

“I zink I’m okay, Keptin”, he managed to say and shook his head to clear his thoughts and get rid of dust, dirt and whatever had landed in his short curls during the crash.

“Good, me too as far as I can tell”, the captain replied and was finally able to free himself of his seat. He walked over to Chekov, helping him to remove his own seatbelt.

“That was a pretty rough landing”, he said as he pulled Chekov to his feet.

“Yes sir”, Chekov replied a little unsteady for a second, “I’m wery sorry zat I crashed ze ship, Keptin” Chekov really felt guilty, it was his first away mission during their five-year mission, and he was already not doing a very good job.

“Nah that was hardly your fault, Chekov. You probably saved us from crashing directly into a lake or mountain. But I’m gonna have a serious conversation with Spock once we’re back. He could’ve mentioned that those electrical storms can appear out of nowhere and would jam all our controls”

Chekov chuckled a little at the thought of Kirk yelling at Spock and the first officer’s calm and fully logical reply.

“Alright, let’s get the survival kits and leave the shuttle because I doubt it’ll get us anywhere in the near future”, the captain suggested. Chekov had to agree, the engines and controls were broken, making it impossible for the shuttle fly again any time soon or probably ever. They packed everything they might need and quickly made their way out to check out the surrounding. The shuttle had landed in the middle of what appeared to be a rather large forest, with very high, dark trees of a kind Chekov hadn’t seen before.

“Any idea where we are?”, the captain asked him.

“I’m not perfectly sure Keptin, but I zink ve should be approximately 55 kilometres east of our original destination”, Chekov replied.

“Not perfectly sure huh, that seemed pretty damn specific for not being sure Mr Chekov. How can you orientate yourself around here with all our navigation devices being useless?” The captain was right, what hadn’t been broken during the crash wasn’t working due to the electrical interferences.

“I studied ze map and all ze information Mr Spock could giwe me yesterday vhen ve vere still at ze ship, sir”, Chekov explained and looked around to make sure his orientation was correct. Eastwards he could make out the shapes of mountains and since the outpost had been located on top of one, he was relatively sure that was the right direction.

“I guess it was a good decision to take you with me since I’d be lost on my own”, the captain clapped his shoulder briefly and smiled at Chekov, “but hey, you are the navigator I’m the captain so it’s your job to tell us were to go and my job to make sure we arrive there in one piece”

Chekov laughed at the captain’s description.

“Aye sir, I can do zat”, he replied, with a little more confidence than he actually felt. They had a long way ahead of them with no idea what they might encounter on their journey. But Chekov wasn’t scared, not with his captain right next to him. He trusted him to keep them both safe and he trusted himself enough to find the right path on this unknown planet.

“Good, I suppose we should start walking, we still have most of the day ahead of us so let’s try to cover as much ground as possible today”

“Aye sir” But Chekov didn’t move immediately. He stood there, thinking and chewing on his bottom lip. The captain must have noticed his hesitation because he asked: “Everything alright Chekov? You didn’t get hurt in the crash after all, right? Bones would have my head if I don’t bring you back perfectly unharmed”

Although the captain had spoken in a joking tone, Chekov could see the honest concern hidden in his eyes. He had to grin at the image of Dr McCoy yelling at the captain. The doctor was probably the only one who didn’t care that it was the captain he was lecturing. No, when the doctor was angry about someone getting hurt in a stupid way or hiding an injury, he would yell at them no matter what rank they were. Chekov would never admit it to anyone, but he was a little scared of the doctor and mostly avoided sickbay at all costs.

“No Keptin, I’m not hurt”, he answered and hesitated briefly before adding, “but I vas just zinking about how ve can contact ze Enterprise and how ve vill get off ze planet after ve finished ze mission” The captain gave him a small smile.

“I’ve been thinking about that as well but worrying about all that won’t do us any good right now”, he said in a reassuring voice, “my communicator isn’t broken, I just can’t get a signal through because of this freaking storm. But if I remember correctly, and to be fair I’m not sure because I might’ve skipped that class a couple of times at the academy, it’s always good to go to a higher ground to hope for a better signal. And since our original destination is in the mountains, we might have better reception there. Once we contact the Enterprise, Scotty and Spock will find a way to get us back up there”

“You are right Keptin, going up is a good plan if ve vant to get a signal zrough”, Chekov agreed and felt a little better. He shouldn’t have been worried in the first place; the captain always had a plan.

“Alright then, since you are the genius and you agree with me, there is absolutely nothing that can go wrong” The captain gave his shoulder another encouraging clap and started walking.

“Aye sir”, Chekov said and followed.

The walk through the forest was actually quite beautiful. Between the large dark trees were smaller, colourful plants and one could hear the sound of probably birdlike animals above them. The ground was a mixture of gravel, dirt and leaves that had fallen down, therefore being relatively easy to walk on. Chekov was fascinated by the planets weather. He had feared that walking during that storm could be dangerous but the weather on this planet seemed to be divided into two different layers. The storm, that had caused their crash was only active above the clouds. Down here, the weather was surprisingly calm, with sun shining into their faces and almost now wind. Chekov felt a little cold but other than that the momentarily conditions were unexpectedly nice.

However, something wasn’t quite right. Chekov didn’t want to tell the captain because it was practically nothing but since this morning, even before they had gone on board of the shuttle, Chekov had had this strange pain around his belly button. He had put it off as being nervous about his first real mission and maybe it hadn’t gone away because he was still stressed, even more now with their changed situation. But although it didn’t really hurt that much it was distracting and rather uncomfortable. Chekov shook his head and put those thoughts away. They had way more important things to worry about than his stomach not agreeing with too much stress. No, he would not compromise this mission any further than he already had by crashing the ship. Therefore, he forced himself to stand up straighter and closed the small distance that had formed between him and the captain.   

Chapter Text

Jim wasn’t exactly worried. Of course, their situation wasn’t really optimal, but they had managed to get through much worse in the past. However, this was supposed to be an easy mission. One of the main reasons he brought Chekov along was to let him have some experience in the field without throwing him into real danger just yet. With a small smile he remembered the conversation, or rather fight he’d had with Bones before making his decision.

“You want to bring Chekov?”, Bones didn’t seem to believe him, “you know he is nineteen right, basically still a kid and you want to drag him down to some unknown planet?!”

Of course, Bones was protective of the kid, they all were so Jim understood why he immediately went into defensive mode when it came to potentially putting Chekov in danger.

“Calm down Bones, believe it or not, I’ve actually thought this through”, Jim explained, “first of all he’s already been through a lot worse and dangerous situations and-“

“That’s no reason to unnecessarily risk his life but more of a reason to make sure he doesn’t end up in any more of those situations!”, Bones interrupted his captain angrily.

“And secondly”, Jim continued, ignoring his friend’s concern for now, “this mission should be relatively easy. An uninhabited planet, checking out an old outpost, nothing out of the ordinary which is why I think it’s the perfect opportunity to get the kid out in the field again without risking anything”

“I still think he should stay onboard the ship, he’s a navigator not an adventurer”, Bones argued. Jim looked his friend directly into the eyes.

“Hey, I know you want to protect him, but so do I”, he replied, “after Khan and everything, after leaving for this five-year-mission, I think getting him of this ship and more importantly out of his head for a while, might do him so good. Build up his confidence, you know? Besides, I could actually use someone with navigation skills on this planet, since we only have a rough idea of the exact position of the outpost”

“I just hope you know what you’re doing”, Bones muttered, definitely not convinced.

“Don’t I always?”

“No, most of the times you don’t that’s what has me worried”, Bones replied disapprovingly.

“It’ll be fine, trust me”

“If you bring him back with even a little scratch-“

“I won’t, okay?! You are far too scary for me to risk that”, Jim said and clapped his friend’s back.

Thinking about this conversation made Jim almost glad they couldn’t contact the Enterprise yet to tell them things weren’t exactly going as planned. Bones would worry about them unnecessarily and kill Jim later for letting the ship crash, risking both their lives in the process. Of course, the Enterprise must have realized that communications were down which was never a good sign but at least they didn’t know about the crash yet. Jim turned his head to the side to observe his young companion who was walking a few feet behind him. They had been walking for about three hours, so far mostly in silence also Chekov had sometimes commented on the fascinating nature surrounding them. But for the last hour his navigator had been unusual quiet. On the bridge or breakrooms Chekov usually was one of the most talkative people on board, always going on about something, asking his crewmembers questions or telling them stories himself. Jim smiled when he remembered how his eyes had lit up when he told Spock something about an equation he had figured out, practically buzzing with excitement. But today, the young ensign seemed to lack this characteristic energy, walking behind Jim most of the time.

“Chekov, should we take a break?”, Jim asked, because he noticed the tired impression on the kid’s face.

“It…it’s fine Keptin, ve can keep going”, Chekov replied but stumbled a little over his words.

“Nah, we’ve been walking for quite a while, let’s sit down a few minutes”, Jim insisted, leaning against one of the trees. He knew that Chekov would never admit needing a break, but it was his responsibility to make sure he wasn’t overworking himself with trying to put on a brave face. Jim knew he was right to make them stop when he saw the relieved look on the kid’s face once he sat down next to him.

“The view is quite nice but walking this much just isn’t really my thing”, Jim commented and took a sip out of his metallic watter bottle. When Chekov didn’t reply anything, Jim eyed him more closely. He noticed that the kid didn’t seem comfortable, almost squirming around a little like he couldn’t find a good position to sit. The ground wasn’t exactly soft, but Jim doubted that was the reason for his navigator’s odd behaviour.

“You alright, Chekov?”, he therefore asked, trying not to sound too worried. He could see sweat on the younger man’s forehead and he looked unnaturally pale.

“Yes Keptin, of course, I vas just a little distracted, it vill not happen egain, I’m sorry”, Chekov quickly replied, looking like he was just caught by doing something wrong. ‘Gosh’, Jim thought, ‘somebody needed to show this kid that he didn’t have to be sorry for everything’.

“It’s no problem, Chekov, we should try to be observant of our surroundings but it’s also okay to get lost in thoughts from time to time”, Jim said, trying to sound reassuring and not like a scolding captain. The last thing he needed was a scared kid, who was so afraid of doing something wrong that he eventually would end making serious mistakes.

“Aye Keptin” Chekov’s voice was a little unsteady and Jim noticed he was swallowing hard and winced as if he was in pain. Before he could say something about it, Chekov suddenly bolted away from the tree into a nearby bush. Jim got to his feed immediately, following the kid, definitely worried now. He found Chekov on his knees in a hunched over position, heaving painfully into the bush and throwing up whatever he had for breakfast. Wincing in sympathy, because the whole process did look rather painful, Jim went to kneel next to him and placed his hands on the kid’s shoulder and back in an attempt to steady him. When Chekov’s stomach seemed to have finally calmed down, he helped him up and guided him back down against the tree.

“Jesus Chekov, that looked rough”, he muttered.

“Keptin I- I’m so so sorry. I tried to holt it in- I just could not end zen-“

“Chekov stop it, okay?!”, Jim interrupted the younger man’s stream of words before he could talk himself into a panic attack, “stop apologizing and focus on breathing please”

He said it slightly teasingly but was seriously worried. Chekov’s breathes were rather fast and he still looked pale. He had his knees brought up and one arm wrapped around his stomach. A few tears shimmered in his eyes that he quickly wiped away. It took a few more seconds before Chekov’s breathing returned to normal and Jim kneeled down in front of him.

“What happened there? You okay?”

“I zink so Keptin, I’m really wery sorry I just couldn’t help it”, the young man explained, apparently still very embarrassed about the whole thing.

“I’m not mad at you, I mean no offense that looked awful and was totally gross, but I need to make sure this was a one-time occasion”, Jim replied, “so any idea what set it off? You didn’t hit your head earlier after all, did you?” He faintly remembered that vomiting was a sign of concussion.

“No sir, I did not hit enyzing. I zink it vas just zat I’m a little nerwous end zat must have not agreed vith my stomach”, he said, his accent getting a little more prominent than usual. Jim didn’t really believe that this was all, but other than pale and exhausted Chekov seemed physically alright so he wouldn’t push him too much. Yet anyway.

Still, he asked: “So you are feeling better now, no other pain, aches or whatever?”

“No Keptin, I’m okay now” His reply was somewhat hesitantly, and Jim had a feeling that there was more to it but for now he dropped it.

“Alright then, let’s rest for a few for minutes and then keep going. You okay to walk?”

“Yes Keptin”

“Good, but Chekov, you tell me the moment you start feeling weird, or if you get nauseous again. Understood?!” Jim hoped Chekov got the message and that he was serious about this. If the kid started feeling worse, he needed to know.

“Aye sir!” There was a little more energy in the younger man’s voice, but Chekov still didn’t look good. Jim sighed; Bones was so gonna kill him when they got back.

Chapter Text

Chekov really did not feel good. He hated to admit it, even to himself but he wasn’t fine and hadn’t been for a while now. When the captain had proposed a break earlier, he had been more than relieved. The weird ache in his stomach had moved from his bellybutton to his right lower abdomen, settling in as a dull ache that got worse with every step he took. After around two hours, the nausea had set in, making it even harder to walk straight and fast. Chekov had hoped that he’d feel better after throwing up and for a while he had, a little at least but now the pain and nausea were back full force, making every step harder than the last one. He was already a little behind the captain and couldn’t afford to fall back any further. So, Chekov did his best to just keep going even though he had the feeling something was seriously wrong with him.

“How are you holding up Chekov?”, the captain’s voice came from up ahead, he had stopped and waited for Chekov to catch up. “Need to take a break?”

‘Yes!’, he wanted to scream. “No Keptin, ve can keep going”, he said instead, trying to hide the pain from his voice. The captain eyed him so closely that Chekov felt like he was shrinking but did his best not to take a step back.

“Okay, tell me if you want to stop, we should probably look for a place to sleep soon anyway”, he told him before they continued walking.

‘No, no, no’, Chekov thought when he realized that it was far too early for them to logically stop. There would still be daylight for two to three more hours and with the terrain being this stable it would easily be possible to walk a few hours in the dark. But since the captain knew this as well, he must want to stop for Chekov’s sake and Chekov did not like this at all. Of course, his body ached for nothing more than a long rest and lying down sounded so wonderful, but Chekov couldn’t allow this to interfere with the success of their mission. No, he had sworn himself he would use this as an opportunity to prove himself as an equal member of the crew. He knew everyone liked him and they were impressed very often with his work, but Chekov couldn’t help but feel like this would fade if he couldn’t keep up the results. Once he screwed up, they would realize he was just a nineteen-year-old kid who shouldn’t even be in space. And now he was on his best way to mess up the first chance he got since taking off for the five-year-mission.

Suddenly the pain in his stomach intensified once more, doubling the nausea on the way. Chekov felt unsteady on his feet, leaning forward a little to somehow alleviate the pain but it didn’t help, nothing helped and he whimpered quietly, tears building up in his eyes. He knew he couldn’t keep going, not like this, but he had to. There was a moment when he was determined to keep pretending that he was fine, but he suddenly couldn’t hold it together anymore.

“Keptin I- Keptin I can’t- I need help, please”, he managed to say before he groaned in pain and fell to his knees, both arms wrapped around his stomach, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears threatening to spill.

“Chekov! Hey Chekov! Pavel, look at me what’s wrong?” Chekov could feel the captain kneeling next to him, could feel his shoulder being shaken a little. He had called him ‘Pavel’. Oh no, using his first name meant the other man was seriously worried now, but Chekov also couldn’t help the way his heart melted a little at hearing this name. It gave him an odd feeling of security. Suddenly the nausea overwhelmed him again and he started retching but there wasn’t much left for him to actually throw up so he mostly just dry-heaved bringing up only bile that burned his throat.

“Easy kid, it’s gonna be okay, just let it out”

The words were comforting but not nearly as comforting as the hand the captain had placed on his back, rubbing slowly up and down. Chekov had never felt so embarrassed and protected at the same time. When at least the nausea died down for now he leaned back a little against the hand steadying him.

“You think we can move you to that three over there?”, the captain asked gently.

Chekov just nodded slowly, not trusting his voice yet. The captain gave his shoulder a brief squeeze before he helped him up, supporting him to lean against one of the large trees. Although he could feel the captain kneeling in front of him, Chekov still didn’t want to open his eyes, afraid to deal with what was coming at him. The hand returned to his shoulder, bringing its unbelievable grounding comfort with it.

“Pavel, I need you to open your eyes” The voice was gentle but firm, leaving no room for discussion. Chekov swallowed and forced himself to look at his captain. He had to blink away a few tears and saw the concerned look on the captain’s face.

“Alright kid, good job. Now I really need you to tell me exactly what is going on with you, cause this clearly isn’t just an anxious stomach you got”

The mention of his stomach made him register the pain again and he curled into himself still trying to find a position that wouldn’t hurt so much.

“My stomach…it hurts a little”, he finally managed to say, avoiding the older man’s eyes. It was so unprofessional to risk their whole operation over a stomach-ache, even though it did feel more like a stomach fire.

“And I guess ‘it hurts a little’ is your polite Russian way of saying you are in agony”, the captain concluded, and Chekov just nodded miserably.

 “Okay, I want you tell me honestly, when did this start and how are you feeling right now?” The captain gave him the same look that had made him feel like he was shrinking earlier. Even if he wanted to, he knew he wouldn’t be able to lie right now.

“Vhen I woke up zis morning my stomach hurt a little…but it vas almost nozing, after ze crash I realized it vas still zere but zought I vas just a little nerwous about ewerything. Zen it got really bad before our first break and I felt like throwing up, vhich…vhich I did”, he started to explain, being as honest as possible without feeling entirely uncomfortable and awkward, “I zought it vould be better afterwards but it zen got a lot vorse and is really bothering me now, I’m werry sorry Keptin”

“Stop apologizing the whole damn time Mr Chekov, this isn’t helping” The sudden harsh tone made Chekov flinch away a little. The captain noticed immediately and sighed.

“Sorry kid, that sounded harder than I meant it”, he said apparently also uncomfortable with the whole situation, “I just want you to understand that you need to stop apologizing for things neither of us can control. Now, you have any other… eh other symptoms than your stomach ‘really bothering you’ which I’ll translate to ‘it hurts like hell’?”

Chekov smiled briefly at the captain’s interpretation of his words but couldn’t help still feeling responsible for this whole mess.

“I’m still a little nauseous, tired and wery cold, Keptin”, he admitted and his was true, despite the sun still shining on the horizon he was incredibly cold, shivering ever so slightly the whole time. Suddenly the Captain reached out with his hand and placed it on Chekov’s forehead. The young man unconsciously leaned into the surprisingly comforting touch.

“You definitely have a nice fever there, kid” That would explain the coldness and exhaustion he was experiencing. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself.

“Alright, I’m not Bones so I have no idea what could be wrong with you other than that you are obviously sick in some way”, the captain stated, letting out a frustrated sigh, “but there is a smaller version of a medical tricorder and a few emergency hypos in the medical survival kit so let me take a look if they are good for anything”

He got up to search the packings while Chekov tried to focus on nothing, not on the way he risked the success of the mission, not on how much his stomach hurt and not on how much longer they had to walk if they were ever gonna make it to the mountain.

“Okay so apparently this tricorder can’t tell me much more than your temperature, heart rate and this kind of stuff, which we could also just figure out the old fashion way, but let me scan you anyway”, the older man said when he returned and started moving the tricorder along Chekov’s body.

“Your temperature is 102.1 which I know is pretty high because Bones yelled at me like crazy when I had a fever like this and told him I was ‘just feeling a little hotter than usual’”, he told Chekov, and the young Russian had to laugh despite feeling absolutely miserable.

“I can imagine zat Dr McCoy did not like zis answer sir”, he said still grinning.

“No kid, he didn’t but I thought it was hilarious”, the captain replied grinning as well. However, Chekov’s smile faded when another sharp pain tore through his abdomen. He sucked in a breath and turned to his side a little but there simply didn’t seem to be a position that would make the pain more bearable.

“Alright Pavel, you obviously can’t go on like this and I really don’t enjoy seeing you in this much pain”, the captain said and soothingly rubbed Chekov’s arm, “I have no idea what could cause all this, but I found a hypo that’s supposed to reduce a fever and one against general pain, so we’re going to try that now, okay?”

“But Keptin, zey are for emergencies and vhat if ve need zem later? Ve should save zem” Chekov really wanted to feel better, but he also did not want to waste the few supplies they had.

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed kid, but you do qualify as an emergency! You are in too much pain to stand up right now, God damn it!” Now the captain sounded angry and frustrated which in turn made Chekov feel bad and he quickly looked away, trying to hide the tears that were building up in his eyes again. He was just one huge disappointment

“Hey, I’m sorry Pavel, I’m not mad at you, okay? I just want you to see that your health is important, you are important, and using supplies for you is not a waste”, the older man said quietly and carefully grabbed his chin to turn him around until their eyes met.

 “Remember what I said earlier? You are the navigator; your job is to figure out the right path which you did perfectly so far. I’m the captain, my job it is to make sure we get there as fast and safe as possible. Now if I want to do a good job here as well, I need to give you those hypos, so we have a chance to get off this planet”

Chekov realized that the captain was talking to him like he was a young boy and not a grown man. His shoulders slumped a little, he had tried so hard not to become a liability and now the captain had to treat him like a child. He would not have that. Chekov quickly wiped his eyes and then said with as much strength as he could muster: “Aye Keptin”

The captain nodded appreciatively before he injected both hypos into Chekov’s veins. The young man winced a little but didn’t complain otherwise, he wanted to be strong from now on.

“Good thing Bones injected me with those so often I could administer them with my eyes closed”, the captain muttered when he removed the hypos, “let’s wait a little and see if those drugs make you feel any better. No pressure: if they don’t you have to tell me, but should they work, we might be able to cover a little more ground before the night comes”

Chekov nodded dutifully and tried not to fall asleep on the spot. The hypos made him somewhat drowsy. The captain seemed to notice because he said smiling: “Close your eyes and get some rest, I’ll make sure none of the little birds we’ve been hearing the whole-time poops on you”

Chekov laughed quietly and then allowed his tiredness to overwhelm him. He closed his eyes and hoped his stomach would grant him a small break so that he could get some rest. He knew he needed all the strength he could get. But even though the whole situation scared the shit out of him, with the captain sitting next to him he felt safe and protected enough to let his guard down for now. The pain in his stomach lessened a little and he manged to drift off to sleep.

Chapter Text

Jim did not like this at all. After letting the kid rest for an hour, Jim had woken him up which already made him feel bad because those seemed to be the first peaceful and almost pain-free minutes the boy had gotten all day but there was no choice, they had to move on if they wanted to leave this planet in the near future. Jim was torn between wanting to move as much as possible to get Chekov to Bones faster and not pushing the kid’s limits too much which could make the situation even worse. Although Jim wasn’t sure how worse should look like, he definitely did not want to find out.

After being woken up by the captain, Chekov had appeared a little better. Apparently, the hypos were working for now because his fever had gone down, and he announced that the pain was also not bothering him as much anymore. Jim had inquired at least three times, making sure Chekov wasn’t trying to play hero but the kid had promised him.

“Yes Keptin, it is a lot better now, ve can move”, he had insisted and so they had started walking. This had been almost two hours ago, and they had actually managed to cover a good portion of the way. Jim matched his own speed with Chekov’s not wanting to give the kid the feeling he was holding them back and also because he wanted to stay close to him in case his body would decide to collapse again. Therefore, they were walking directly next to each other. To distract the boy from the pain and exhaustion that were still clearly visible on his face, Jim had started telling him stories from his academy days.

“Bones had to relocate my nose after that fight”, he finished a particularly embarrassing one on his part, smiling at the memory. Gosh, where did the time go? How had he managed to go from a bar fighting, smartass teenager to being captain of his own ship, entrusted with a mission never attempted before? Thinking about that just made him dizzy so he was glad when Chekov interrupted his thoughts.

“I bet ze doctor did not appreciate zis very much”, the young Russian replied, and Jim was glad to see him laughing again.

“Oh, trust me kid, he was mad enough I thought he’d start dislocating other parts of my body”, he answered laughing as well, “but Bones is a good friend, a poor doctor with no bedside manner at all, but a good guy. I wouldn’t miss him on my ship for anything”

For a second, Jim thought his young companion appeared sad but then his mouth curled into a smile.

“Alzough I do not like being sickbay he is wery good at his job”, Chekov agreed, “and he can be wery nice” After a moment of hesitation, the kid added: “so I’ve heard”

Now Jim burst out into a whole-heartly laugh and Chekov grinned as well. For a part of a second there was this characteristic sparkle in his eyes that Jim had missed this entire trip. However, it vanished only shortly after and was replaced with an expression of genuine pain from the younger man.

„Chekov? You okay? “, Jim immediately asked, the smile disappearing from his own face.

„I- I‘m not sure, Keptin“, the kid replied, avoiding Jim‘s eyes, „it feels like ze pain is coming back“ Chekov winced a little and Jim cringed in sympathy.

„Alright I suppose we should find a spot to rest for the night then, it’s getting a little late anyway“
Jim had added the last part mostly to make Chekov feel less guilty about having to stop, but although it actually was slowly getting dark, one could probably walk for another hour. But Jim wasn’t gonna risk anything, not when the kid ‘s health was at stake.

„I zink taking a break would be good “, Chekov agreed what only made Jim even more worried. The kid must be truly feeling awful again if he was admitting he needed a break. Why the hell did this had to happen today of all days? Jim pushed down his worry and frustration and started looking for a suitable place for them to sleep. They had manged to reach the lower end of the mountains and were a little further up now, but there still was no signal from the Enterprise. Jim decided to settle on a small hollow between a few large trees for staying the night. They should be at least a little protected down there. Carefully, he helped Chekov to sit down before he went through their survival kits to prepare the makeshift shelter for the night. The were equipped with two thin but hopefully still warm sleeping bags and a few easy to prepare meals together with some protein bars.

“What do you want for dinner, Pavel? We have protein bars, or I could try to turn one of those instant bags into something edible”, Jim asked and shot his navigator a questioning look. The kid had leaned back against a tree, lying halfway on his side with both arms wrapped around his stomach. At the mention of food his already pale face seemed to turn several shades whiter, and Chekov swallowed thickly.

“I’m not wery hungry Keptin”, he declared quietly, sounding absolutely miserable. Jim sighed, knowing that with all the throwing up the kid had down today he needed to get his strength back up if he wanted to walk again tomorrow but he also didn’t really have the heart to force him to eat when his stomach was already hurting this much.

“Okay, I understand. Let me just now if you think you can stomach something later”, he told the kid and handed him his sleeping bag, “I’ll try something, you get comfortable, or well as comfortable as you can get at the moment, alright?”

Chekov nodded and started to slowly unfold his sleeping bag. Jim used the small electrical heater their kit provided to heat up some water. In his head he was going through possible causes for Chekov’s sickness, but he didn’t come up with anything he hadn’t thought about hours ago. Poison was unlikely just like simply eating something bad because than he would’ve been infected as well, he also doubted it was a result of crashing earlier because as stubborn as the young Russian could be, he would’ve told him by now if he had gotten injured. Besides, an injury couldn’t cause a fever, right? He would really give anything to have Bones here with him or at least being able to contact him because Jim had no idea how to handle this. He was a Captain, he could get them out of impossible situations, he would also say he could inspire his crew to be strong, if necessary, but this situation required other qualities. Not only any medical knowledge at all would be helpful, he really shouldn’t have skipped so many medical lessons, always counting on Bones for that, but he also needed to figure out how to be emotional supportive. It was his job that Chekov would feel better physical but also to make sure he wasn’t too embarrassed or guilt-ridden because of this.

Jim had noticed for a while now that something seemed off with the young man. That was one of the main reasons he had decided to bring him along because even though he wasn’t sure what exactly was bothering the kid he had hoped to either figure out on this mission or at least to boost his confidence a little. Yeah, that had worked out great so far. Now he had to deal with a sick and scared Chekov, who was more afraid of screwing up the mission than of being seriously ill. Jim would have to get to the bottom of this but for now he would focus on the ‘getting physically better’ part. Chekov had laid down in his sleeping bag and although he was still clearly in pain, he looked a lot more relaxed now that they weren’t moving anymore.

“Here kid, I heard tea is supposed to help with stomach-aches”, Jim said, crouching down next Chekov with a hot cup of liquid in his hands. He remembered Bones had made tea for him more than once when he had been puking out his guts from either drinking too much or actually being sick. Chekov carefully sat up and took the cup, inspecting the content.

“Zank you Keptin”, he replied hesitantly, “zis is wery nice but zis looks just like hot vater”

“Well surprisingly they don’t pack tea into our survival kits, but I figured since you need to drink something anyway, why not try hot water or flavourless tea if you want to call it that and see if it might help a little”, Jim explained giving Chekov a somewhat cheekily and apologetic look, but the young man just smiled appreciatively and took a careful sip.

“Zat feels nice”, he mumbled contently, “and it’s varm!” Jim hadn’t realized it before, but Chekov was clearly shivering which meant that his fever was back. Great, just great.

“Okay kid”, Jim said after taking the empty mug from the other man’s hands, “you try to get some sleep, and I’ll make sure we don’t get eaten by bears or something”

He saw that Chekov was about to protest and quickly added: “Ah that’s an order Mr Chekov, no room for discussion. Now, tell immediately if you start feeling worse, that’s an order as well. Sleep well, also an order”

“Aye Keptin”, Chekov replied with a small smile and closed his eyes. Jim went to pack up a few things before he quietly ate one of their protein bars. Then he decided to check out the surrounding terrain to make sure they could rest without any disturbances. When he returned, satisfied that they were completely alone and everything was quiet, he saw that Chekov had fallen asleep. Grateful for that, Jim slipped into his own sleeping bag, knowing that he needed as much strength as possible himself if he wanted to get them both back to the Enterprise. Therefore, he allowed his eyes to close and slowly drifted off to sleep not without checking that he was lying close enough next to his young companion, that he would notice any change in the kid’s condition.  

Chapter Text

Jim blinked and rubbed his eyes. It was completely dark around him, so it had to be the middle of the night. He had no idea what had woken him up and it took him a second to remember where they were and what had happened. Then suddenly his attention was drawn to the young man sleeping next to him. Chekov was shifting and rolling around in his sleeping bag, mumbling incomprehensibly. That must have woken him up, Jim realized and observed the kid more closely. Sweat had built up on his forehead but despite this Jim could see chills running through his body. He was breathing unregularly and was trembling quite badly. It looked like Chekov was having nightmare. Although Jim wanted the boy to sleep the miserable sight in front of him made him cringe in sympathy. There was no way Chekov could be resting properly like this, therefore Jim decided that waking him up would be the smarter move.

“Chekov, hey Pavel”, he said quietly while he shook the kid’s shoulder, hoping to wake him up as gentle as possible, “come on kid, you need to wake up”

Chekov shot up into a sitting position, breathing fast and panting heavily.

“Pavel, it’s okay, you were having a nightmare, you’re safe”, Jim tried to calm they boy down, not letting go off his shoulder but Chekov seemed to be completely out of it. Suddenly his body decided to betray him again, because he doubled over, whimpering in pain before he quickly turned to his side, starting to retch. Jim winced as Chekov brought up the water, he had drunken earlier. When there was nothing left for the kid to throw up, he slowly turned back, looking at his captain. Jim’s heart broke a little at the sight in front of him. He wasn’t an overly emotional guy, but Pavel looked so broken, miserable and unbelievingly scared that all he wanted to do was wrap him up in a hug and hold him close till he felt better.

“Keptin, I- I…”, he stammered, clearly overwhelmed with the situation. Jim felt just as helpless but also knew it was his responsibility now to take care of him. Not only because he was the captain, but because Chekov was just a goddamn kid who needed comfort and support which Jim, although not really considering himself a responsible or fatherly person, was prepared to offer.

“Hey kid”, he began as gently as he could, “you know where you are and what happened?” Chekov nodded, trying to blink away the tears in his eyes.

“Good. You had a rather rough nightmare, and I think your fever has climbed up again”, he explained, “let’s get you to lie back down, alright” Jim carefully assisted Chekov to the ground and ran a comforting hand through his sweaty curls. He felt Chekov relax a little under the touch. Jesus, the boy was really burning up, Jim thought as his hand rested on his forehead for a second. Cursing the medical survival kit for only being equipped with one set of emergency hypos, Jim tried to figure out what to do next.

“I’m really sorry, Keptin” Chekov’s quiet words interrupted his thoughts. Jim sighed audibly, having to restrain himself from yelling again. The kid really needed to stop apologizing for things that weren’t his fault.

“Me too, kid”, he said instead, “I wish there was more I could do for you. I hate seeing you suffer like this”

“Zank you Keptin”

“Is there anything I could do or get you to make you feel better?”, Jim asked but Chekov just quietly shook his head. Feeling utterly helpless, he leaned back to lie down next to Chekov, moving his bag a little closer.

“How’s your stomach?”

“Hurts”, the younger man admitted quietly, which Jim knew was Chekov’s way of saying ‘I’m in agony’. He hated that there wasn’t really anything for him to do. Spock would probably tell him that the most logical option would be to wait and observe how the symptoms progress while making sure to give Chekov enough fluids, nutrition and rest. But Jim wasn’t Spock, he wasn’t one for waiting, he always needed to physically do something, and not being able to, was killing him.

“You want to tell me about your nightmare?”, he finally asked. If he couldn’t do anything for Chekov’s physical symptoms right now, he wanted to at least try to make him feel better emotionally. They were lying rather close to each other and Jim could see the different emotions crossing Chekov’s face.

“It’s not zat important Keptin”, the kid replied quietly.

“I think it is because you seemed pretty shaken by it when I woke you up”, Jim said, “you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to of course, but I doubt we’ll be able to fall back asleep right now so we might as well talk. So, if there is something that’s bothering you or whatever, now might be a good time to share it because I’m here to listen”

To remove some of the suddenly serious atmosphere his words had created, he added: “I know I don’t show it very often but I’m actually capable of shutting my mouth for a while to just listen. Although almost every authority figure in my life, including Spock and Bones have told me at some point that I talk too much for own good”
He grinned and was relieved to see Chekov cracking a smile as well.

“Maybe it is not how much you say but vhat you say”, he argued, and Jim had to genuinely laugh at that remark.

“Oho Mr Chekov, you are getting quite cheeky in the dark”, Jim commented and they both chuckled.

After a few moments of silence, Chekov said in a very small voice: “I get nightmares wery often lately” He searched for Jim’s eyes, who tried to look reassuring and encouraging to make him go on but didn’t say anything.

“Zey are not alvays ze same, but I do not like zem, zey make me tired and scared sometimes” Chekov avoided eye-contact at this admission, but Jim was grateful that he was talking at all.

“Can you give me an example?”, he asked gently. Chekov hesitated.

“Mmm sometimes I just see bad memories like vhen Mr Spock’s mozer died and I could not sawe her. Or I dream zat I fail to beam you and Sulu up in time and you die or zat I cannot hold you and Mr Scott and you die or-“Chekov was talking really fast now, struggling to get the words out and enough air in.

“Easy kid, try not to work yourself into a panic attack”, Jim tried to calm his young ensign and comfortingly rubbed his shoulder a little. Chekov was trembling but Jim wasn’t sure if it was from the overwhelming emotions or if he simply was still cold. He noticed a pattern in Chekov’s descriptions however, a pattern that he definitely needed to investigate further because if what he feared was true, Chekov had some serious self-worth and self-confidence issues.

“Pavel”, he began very slowly when Chekov wasn’t breathing as fast anymore, “it sounds like most of your dreams involve you being afraid of failing in some way or loosing someone. Is there something more going on that’s been bothering you?”  

“I- it is just zat I alvays do ewerything vrong”, he replied, his voice shaking, “I failed to sawe Mr Spock’s mozer, I-“

“That was not your fault!”, Jim immediately interrupted firmly, “nobody blames you for that Pavel, I don’t, Spock doesn’t, the Vulcans don’t. You did everything you could and-“

“But it vas not enough!”, now it was Chekov who interrupted, his voice stronger than the whole evening and filled with emotions, “if I had been faster, if I had come up vith somezing… maybe she did not hawe to die”

“Now listen to me! You are human not a machine. You saved me and Sulu that day, which was impossible for anybody else, you came up with a plan to approach Nero without him noticing us and you did all this on your first mission while being freaking seventeen years old. Many would argue you were a hero that day but still you blame yourself for something inevitable”, Jim could not believe it. He could not believe that Chekov was blaming himself for this, seeing himself as a failure. And he could also not believe that he had lived with this guilt, haunting him in his dreams without anybody knowing. Suddenly, something dawned on Jim.

“Are there other things you’ve been blaming yourself for?”, he asked, still sounding deathly serious but just a little softer than before.

“You made me chief of engineering for one day and I broke varp core”, the young man replied barely audible.

“We were sabotaged!”, Jim needed to use all his self-control not to shout too loud. How the hell could the kid think that was his fault. “The core would’ve failed no matter who was responsible at the time, and you managed to repair it in record time, saved me and Scotty from falling into our certain death and stopped the ship from crashing down on earth. Again, you saved the day and none of what went wrong before was your fault!”

“But someday I vill make a mistake; I vill screw up somezing and you will realize zat I am just a nineteen-year-old vho does not deserve to be on board of your ship” Chekov still avoided Jim’s eyes, but he could hear the honest fear in his voice. The kid really believed that Jim would kick him off his ship if he made a mistake.

“Is that what all this is about, what’s been going on with you and why you were so afraid that you being sick might endanger our mission? You think if you make a mistake, I don’t want you anymore?”, Jim asked because he simply couldn’t believe Chekov could think something like that.

“I am only ewen allowed to be on ze Enterprise because ewerybody zinks I am a genius. But vhat if I can’t be a genius someday and I am not smart enough? Zen I vill no longer belong on ze ship”

“Alright kid, you listen to me now, understood?! I did not request you for my ship because you’re smart. That may be the reason why you are so young and already working fulltime in space but I did not pick you as my navigator because of that, or because you are the best in the whole fleet”, Jim replied intentionally slow, choosing each of his words, “don’t get me wrong, you’re brilliant and you saved our ass, my ass in particularly more than once but I want you because I like you kid. I like having you around, I enjoy talking to you, spending time with you. You are fun, trustworthy and you probably have the kindest heart among all of us. That’s why I chose you, why I want you on my ship. You are important to me and everyone aboard because we care about you, and I would not miss you up there or down here for anything”

Chekov seemed a little stunned at his words and Jim hoped he hadn’t overwhelmed him too much, but he could not let the kid go one thinking he wasn’t good enough for him.

“So should you really ever do screw up or make a real mistake that’s okay. Mistakes happen, hell I’ve made enough of them myself, but I need you to understand that this wouldn’t mean you don’t deserve to be here or that I would just send you away”, he continued, “even if you screwed up like real big time, I couldn’t be disappointed in you, because I don’t like you for your brain or your gifts. I like and care about you because you are you. Because you say ‘Keptin on ze bridge’ every time I enter, because you always stay positive and never fail to lighten the mood and maybe because I see a little bit of myself in you and just want to protect you from making the same mistakes that I made. So please, kid, be honest with me when you have a problem, and don’t you dare thinking you don’t deserve to be on the Enterprise!”

It was Jim’s turn to take a deep breath because he had involuntarily started to speak more and more rapidly. Chekov didn’t immediately reply anything, but Jim could see tears shimmering behind his eyes and was certain they had nothing to do with him feeling miserable.   

“Zank you Keptin”, he finally whispered, “I do not now vhat to say but zank you”  

“You’re welcome kiddo. I just hope you understand that I mean everything I just said”, Jim said, “stop overthinking and worrying the whole time. And Pavel, I want you to tell me next time you blame yourself for something or next time you’re scared that you’ve screwed up. No need for those nightmares to continue”

“Aye Keptin” The boy nodded dutifully but seemed so relieved at this weight being lifted off his chest. Maybe Jim had actually managed to help him or at least had reassured him enough for some of the kid’s issues to shrink a little.

“You know what, kid? We are not on duty right now so call me Jim”, he proposed and meant it. They had already been through so much he felt like being called captain right now wasn’t appropriate anymore, no, their relationship had become too close for that.

“I don’t zink I can do zat, Keptin”, Chekov replied, and Jim had to laugh.

“It’s your choice”

They fell silent for a while until Jim noticed that Pavel yawned, looking incredibly exhausted.

“Alright kid, think you feel well enough to fall asleep? You still need to rest”
Chekov hesitated briefly but said: “Yes Keptin, I hope so”

But when Jim saw him shifting and squirming in his sleeping back, still shaking like a leaf because of his fever, he made a decision, not caring if it was considered inappropriate or whatever. No, he wanted, he needed the boy to feel better and was prepared to do what was necessary to assure that.

“Come here, kid”, he therefore said, gesturing for him to lie down closer next to him and opened his arms. Pavel only hesitated a millisecond before he crawled into Jim’s waiting arms, resting his head on the older man’s shoulder, sighing in relief when Jim ran his hand through his curls again.

“Comfy?” Jim chuckled.

“Yeah, wery”, Chekov replied barely audible, “but I do not vant you to get sick as vell”

“Kid, if whatever you got is contagious, I think I’m doomed already and honestly I don’t care right now”, Jim replied, hugging the shivering boy a little closer to his chest”, besides, we need to get you warmed up somehow, you are shaking far too much for my liking”

Jim had no idea if it was a smart move, to add more heat to the fever Chekov already had but then again, having him close just felt right and everything else seemed heartless. Chekov nodded and yawned into his shoulder.

“Sleep well Pavel”, he whispered.

“Keptin?”

“Yeah”

“Could you, I mean vould you maybe keep talking?”, he asked shyly, “it makes me not zink about my stomach so much” Gosh, Jim needed to protect this kid at all costs. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t say no to this cute request.

“Course kid, happy to”, Jim replied, playing with his hair a little, “now have I ever told you how I met Dr McCoy for the first time and why I call him ‘Bones’?”

“I do not zink so Keptin, but I bet it’s a good story”, Chekov said, sounding halfway asleep already.

“Oh, it definitely is, kid. So, I had just gone aboard the shuttle, taking me to the academy when…”, Jim began, and only a few minutes later he noticed that Chekov’s breathing had evened out and he was snoring softly. Jim smiled and closed his eyes as well, reassured by knowing that should something happen during the night again, he would notice it immediately. Suddenly he realized that he might’ve just told his first goodnight story ever. He chuckled at the thought and Bones’ face should he ever find out about this. Trying to ignore any more thoughts and emotions, only focussing on the steady breathing next to him, Jim allowed himself to fall asleep as well.

Chapter Text

When Chekov was woken up hours later, by the sun shining in his face, he felt absolutely horrible. He was freezing, covered in sweat and incredibly nauseous. His stomach was killing him, the pain in his right lower side seemed to have doubled while he slept, and he had trouble to simply turn around without crying out in agony. He managed to turn his head a little and saw the captain standing a few meters away from him. Memories of last night overcame him but he didn’t have time to focus on them now. Not only because his stomach made it hard for him to think about anything else but also because he just barely noticed that the captain was talking through his communicator. If communication was working again, maybe they’d be out of here a lot sooner than Chekov had dared to hope.  

“Spock”, he heard the captain say, “signal is weak I can barely hear you”

Chekov could hear the characteristic static noise and cut short scraps of a conversation, but he wasn’t able to make out the exact words, luckily Jim seemed to understand at least a bit.

“So, you can’t beam us out from here? Are you sure?”

‘Oh no’, he thought at the captain’s question. He really wasn’t sure how much further he could go on like this. Spock’s answer was inaudible for him again, but he clearly heard Jim groaning in frustration, which could only mean they wouldn’t get out of here any time soon. As if his stomach had listened, a sudden sharp pain ripped through him and without wanting to he let out a surprised cry, followed by a small whimper.

“Chekov, Pavel!”, Jim was at his side in an instant, grabbing his shoulder. Chekov looked up at his captain, blinking through the tears that had formed in his eyes.

“Hurts”, he whimpered, not caring anymore if he made a fool of himself or if he sounded more like a little kid. Not after the captain’s reassurance last night, not while being in this much pain.

“Spock, get me Bones now!”, Jim shouted into his communicator, without leaving Chekov’s side.

“Jim…wht...hell..going on…?!”, the cut short voice of Dr McCoy sounded through the device.

“Bones, we have a little situation here, medically you know, and could use your expertise”, he started to explain, “what could be the cause of a stomach-ache, like a real bad one, the kind you can’t move around with, high fever and vomiting?”

It seemed like the captain was trying to make sure the doctor understood the situation without worrying him too much by leaving out exactly how miserable Chekov was.

“What…hell are…talking about?! Don’t tell me…you…sick again!” So much for not worrying the doctor, Chekov thought, and Jim’s eyeroll told him his captain was thinking the same.

“I’m fine Bones, it’s Chekov who’s not okay! He’s been sick since yesterday, but we couldn’t get a signal through to you so please save your lecture for another time and tell me what the hell I can do down here!”, Jim shouted again, and Chekov realized that the captain must be really worried about him. As another sharp pain made him gasp in agony, forcing him to curl deep into himself until he was in an almost fetal position, he understood why. Something was seriously wrong with him.

“Chekov…oh crap…alright…symptoms ‘re very unspecific…where exactly is…pain located? ...what kind ‘f…pain?”, the doctor asked, sounding definitely worried now. Jim shot Chekov a questioning look.

“First not so bad around ze middle”, Chekov replied through gritted teeth, “but now it’s on ze right side, low and wery sharp”

Chekov tried to explain it as best as possible and felt Jim squeezing his shoulder encouragingly.

“What do you make from this Bones?”

“Not definitely sure…appen…citis fit…”, the static had gotten worse but in Chekov’s mind clicked something, nonetheless. Appendicitis. The vague memory he had of this disease fitted with everything he experienced.

“Bones I can barely hear you!”, Jim exclaimed, trying to get the signal back.

“He said it could be appendicitis”, Chekov translated weakly. Jim’s eyes grew wider.

“You mean that thing you don’t really need but that can just burst if you’re unlucky?”, he asked apparently remembering the same page from their medical book. Chekov nodded miserably.

“Bones, how sure are you and what should we do if you’re right?”

“Relatively sure…pain is charac…teristic”, the doctor replied, the static slightly less disruptive this time, “normally not…hard to treat…but you…no supplies…need him on the…Enterprise to take it…out”

Chekov shivered at the thought. Taking it out meant surgery.

“Well, we aren’t on the Enterprise!”, Jim yelled back in frustration, “gotta be something we can do down here other than trying to get to you as fast as possible!”

“Not really…just…what you for sick…general…but you ‘ve to…watch out…if pain…goes away…then worse…could mean…burst…then you…not much time”, the doctor told them sounding a little helpless. Jim let out another sound of frustration.

“Helpful as always Bones, really!”, he grumbled, “we better get moving then before his freaking appendix bursts!”

“Jim…be careful…something happens to…” 

“Yeah, I know! If something happens to the kid, you’ll kill me. Well, you wouldn’t get a chance because I’d take care of that myself!”, the captain shouted back angrily, “just make sure Spock and Scotty keep trying to get us the hell out of here. Kirk out!”

Jim breathed heavily and looked at Chekov who was busy trying not to panic himself. He really did not want his appendix to burst.

“Alright kid”, Jim began and ran a hand through his hair, “you heard Bones, we need to get you to the Enterprise, which I’m afraid means we have to get moving again”

“Zey can’t beam us out?”, Chekov asked hopefully, although he knew the answer already, but he wasn’t sure if he could move.

“Not from here. The storm from yesterday has passed so there are less disturbances which is good because as you can see communication is semi-functional again”, the captain explained, “but there is too much interference to beam from here. Spock is relatively certain that if we move to a higher point, they can beam us out”

“Relatively certain?”, Chekov repeated, not convinced.

“He didn’t want to promise anything, but I told him to redirect every resource to figuring out how they can get us back up”, Jim said, “Spock thinks that maybe the outpost, we were supposed to check out in the first place, could help boosting the signal so we’ll try to reach it, and they’ll try to think of something else in the meantime”

Chekov tried, he really tried to feel reassured, but he had a very bad feeling about all this. His doubt must have been visible on his face because Jim moved a little closer, running a hand through his curls.

“Hey kid, don’t worry, we’ll get you out of here and back to the Enterprise, okay”, he said, “I’m not gonna lie it’s going to be tough, and most likely really shitty for you but you’re not alone. Every single person on the ship is working on getting their favourite crewmember back and I’ll take care of you, so try not to worry too much”

“Zank you, Keptin” Chekov felt a little better.

“Alright then, I’ll pack up our things and then we’re good to go”

Half an hour later, they were actually moving again. Jim was carrying their entire supplies on his back and supported Chekov as best as he could. His right arm was slung over his captain’s shoulder and Jim had his left arm wrapped around Chekov’s waist. This way he was carrying almost all his weight, which would’ve made Chekov feel bad, hadn’t he been preoccupied with staying upright. Moving made everything so much worse, but they didn’t have an alternative, so Chekov didn’t complain. He let the captain drag him along, listening to his encouraging and comforting words that were making him feel at least a little better.

They had to stop more than once when Chekov couldn’t suppress the nausea anymore and needed to throw up or simply because the pain got so overwhelming that he almost collapsed. But Jim was by his side the whole time, supporting him through everything. After a particularly rough episode of throwing up, Chekov broke down into heavy sobs, it was like the invisible dam that had kept him from breaking down completely so far had finally crumbled and he let his tears fall freely. Jim didn’t say much, he simply wrapped Chekov into a hug, letting him cry into his shoulder, stroking his back until his sobs slowly died down.

“I’ve got you kid, I’ve got you”, he whispered into his ear and Chekov melted into the comfort he was offering.

When they finally managed to get moving again, Jim once more started telling Chekov stories, doing his best to distract him and lift up the mood. But deep-down Chekov was sure they were both thinking the same thing. Where the hell was this freaking outpost?!

Chapter Text

They were running out of time. Jim knew they needed to get back on the Enterprise as soon as possible but that was easier said than done, with them moving far too slow. About twenty minutes ago, Chekov’s body had finally decided it wasn’t walking any further. Jim had managed to catch the boy when he saw his knees buckling and his legs giving out. Chekov had tried everything to get back up but had simply collapsed, barely conscious, looking incredibly exhausted. Dehydration was Jim’s non-professional diagnosis, and he cursed himself for not having the heart to force Pavel to eat and drink earlier. Now he was dealing with the fallout. Knowing that they couldn’t give up and also starting to panic a little himself, he had just picked the kid up and was now carrying him bridal style further up the mountain. The boy was surprisingly light, something he was grateful for now but worried him in general. He seemed so small and fragile in his arms. He’d have Bones check out his weight later as well. Should they ever make it to the ship…

Jim forced himself not to think about the worst case, he didn’t believe in no-win scenarios after all. But still, the sight in his arms made it hard not to worry. Pavel’s head rested against his shoulder, his hand tightly clinging to his shirt. He had his eyes closed but Jim could still see the pain on his face. Of course, he forced himself to keep going but he had to glance down at the young man in his arms ever so often, making sure his chest was still rising and falling steadily.

Finally, after what felt like forever, but Jim had lost any sense of time by now he could see the outpost, not far ahead of them. It was a simple, dark tower-like building whose architecture Spock would’ve probably loved but Jim had no interest in observing more closely than absolutely necessary. No, he just sped up, running as fast as possible with Chekov in his arms. The kid seemed to notice the change of pace because his eyes flattered open tiredly.

“We’re almost there kid, hold on!”, Jim said, tightening his grip on the boy before he went even faster. Chekov smiled faintly at him, trying to keep his eyes open.

When they finally reached the building, Jim frantically looked around, trying to find something that could help them. The outpost appeared to be human made, there were some-sort of electric panels that could probably be used to monitor the terrain. Jim gently lowered Chekov to the ground, using one the sleeping bags as a makeshift pillow, before he went to examine the place more closely.

“It doez not look like our Starfleet technology”, Chekov suddenly said from the ground. Jim turned around and saw that the kid had fully opened his eyes, observing the outpost as well.

“No that’s what I thought as well. But it still looks like humans build this”, Jim replied and kneeled next to Chekov, “how are you holding up?” He didn’t even try to hide the worry from his voice.

“Not wery vell but also not vorse zan before”, the kid answered honestly.

“Alright, let me take another look around and then I’ll try to contact the ship”, Jim said and patted Chekov’s shoulder briefly before he got up to check out the panels. Maybe there was a transportation device or something around here. While he was still trying to think of something he was suddenly interrupted by Chekov’s quiet voice.

“Keptin, I zink ze pain is almost gone”, the boy said slowly, looking scared. They both knew what that meant. Bones had told them, that sudden loss in pain was an indicator that the appendix had burst. Jim tried not to panic as his friend’s words echoed in his head. Not much time. That’s what Bones had said. He immediately returned to Chekov’s side and tried to get a signal through the communicator.

“Kirk to Enterprise, can you hear me?” He asked, hiding his panic as best as possible.

“Spock here, Captain”, the calm voice of his friend answered, luckily with no interferences this time.

“Spock we’re at the outpost and need to get back to the Enterprise like right now! Can you beam us up?”

“I’m afraid not yet captain, we can read your signal but it’s still too weak. We need to somehow reinforce it”, Spock explained, sounding as relaxed as ever but Jim heard the small difference in his voice, indicating that Spock was feeling a little helpless himself.

“Well how do we do this?!”, Jim yelled back.

“How is Chekov?”, Bones voice suddenly sounded through the device. Jim looked at the kid and handed him the communicator.

“Ze pain vent avay doctor, but zats not a good zing, right?”, Chekov replied.

“No that’s not good at all, because it’s not gonna stay this way”, Bones muttered, “Spock, I don’t care how you do it you pointy-eared hobgoblin but get them up here. If Chekov’s appendix just burst, he is in serious danger so get them the hell up!”

At the mention of danger, traces of fear crossed the kid’s usually brave face and Jim muttered: “Thanks for pointing that out, Bones”

“Captain, we cannot reinforce your signal from the Enterprise and sending a shuttle would take too much time, considering ensign Chekov’s critical medical situation. But if you could somehow boost the signal from your position, we might be able to beam you up”, Spock explained, ignoring Bones’ words, “are there any electrical devices or anything else you could use for that purpose?”

“There are some old electrical control panels here. They look like human technology but not like anything I know”, Jim replied.

“That might work, if you can generate a strong electric signature that we can pick up, we should be able to beam up all lifeforms in this area, which would be the two of you”, Spock said.

“How the hell am I supposed to generate such a signature, Spock?! I’m not a freaking science officer!”, Jim knew he sounded incredibly frustrated, but they were so close to getting home and yet still too far away.

“I can do zat!” Chekov suddenly exclaimed and was already trying to get up, eyes sparkling with new energy. “I zink I can do zat!”, he repeated but had trouble standing up to get to the control panels. Jim steadied him before he could fall.

“Easy kid”, he said, “you can barely stand”

“I know Keptin, but I can do zat!”, he exclaimed but still grabbed Jim tightly to stay upright, “Mister Spock, Mister Spock! If I can get ze system to direct all ze energy to a zingle point, you could pick it up, right?”

Jim had to respect Chekov’s determination, he looked like he was ready to pass out but the prospect of getting out of here seemed to have given him new strength.

“Yes Mr Chekov, that would be perfect”, Spock agreed.

“Okay, I can do zat. Keptin, can you help me to ze panels please. I do not zink I can valk wery vell”

“Don’t let him do anything stupid, Jim”, Bones voiced interrupted, “he shouldn’t move much. You’re gonna make it worse”

“Doctor”, Chekov replied, “it vill be a lot vorse if ve cannot get avay from zis planet. But ze Keptin can’t do zis. I vill get us back to ze ship!”

“You heard him Bones, and as much as I hate it, he’s right”, Jim said, “don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him”

With that he pretty much carried Chekov to the control panels and waited for the boy’s instructions. Jim observed in fascination how fast Chekov understood the system, a system he had never seen before and how he started to push different buttons and wrote instructions. The kid truly was genius. Only a few minutes later, Chekov had managed to redirect all the energy they had to an antenna, that was apparently placed somewhere on the roof. Jim had no idea how Chekov had figured that out, but he didn’t care as along as this meant they could beam them up.

“Mister Spock, zat is all ze energy ve hawe, can you read us now?”, Pavel asked after he was finished. Jim saw new sweat building up on his forehead and quickly guided the kid to lie back down again because he had started swaying unsteadily.

“Yes Mr Chekov, you did excellent work. It should take us no longer than a few minutes to calibrate our scanners to the signal and then we will be able to beam you up”, Spock replied.

“A few minutes!”, Jim burst out, “Spock you have realized by now that time is critical, right!”

“Yes captain, and we are working as fast as we can, but our scanners are not used to this kind of signal, however Mr Scott will recalibrate them manually”, Spock explained and Jim was about to answer when he was interrupted by Chekov letting out a painful cry, followed by a small whimper.

“Just hurry. And Bones better be on stand-by when we arrive”, Jim hissed into the communicator, before he dropped it and focused all his attention on the whimpering boy next to him.

“Ze doctor vas right, Keptin”, Chekov managed to say, groaning audibly, “ze pain did not stay avay”

“It’s worse?”, Jim asked sympathetically. Chekov nodded miserably.

“I’m so sorry kid. Come here” He gently lifted the boy’s head to lie in his lap and massaged his head again. Chekov buried himself into him, desperately looking for any kind of comfort. Jim knew there was nothing to do but wait and he hated it. He had never felt so useless in his life. Suddenly Chekov turned his head, and their eyes met.

“Keptin, you said earlier zat ze doctor vould not kill you if zomething happens to me because you vill do it yourself”, he said quietly, “please do not kill yourself if I die, Keptin”

Jim chuckled sadly. Did Chekov think he was about to die? Jim pressed him closer to his chest.

“I won’t kid, because you won’t die here. I promised to take care of you, remember”, Jim replied, tears stinging in his own eyes.

“You took wery good care of me Keptin”, the kid stated, “I feel wery save with you, like being with family” Jim was taken a little aback by his words, but quickly recovered.

“We are family Pavel, the whole crew of the Enterprise, we are all one huge family”, he began, “and you kid, hell you are probably the closest thing I’ll ever have to a son, so of course you’re my family. You’re incredibly important to me kid”

“Zank you…Jim”, he whispered and his eyes fell shut. Before Jim even had enough time to panic, they were encircled by yellow light and finally beamed up.

Chapter Text

Jim paced up and down the waiting area in sick bay. It had been only 5 minutes since the surgery had started and Jim was getting impatient already. After beaming up, him holding Chekov close, Bones had immediately transported the boy to sickbay, practically tearing him out of Jim’s arms who had reluctantly let go of his precious kid. He hadn’t really registered Bones shouting at his staff, telling them to prepare for emergency surgery, he had just blindly followed holding Chekov’s hand for as long as possible. The kid had not regained consciousness until they arrived in sickbay but then his eyes had flattered open for a second, blinking in confusion.

“Keptin-“, he had whispered, his voice weak and hoarse. Jim had been at his side, squeezing his hand.

“Hey kid, it’s alright, we’re on the ship in sickbay. Bones is gonna take care of you. Just hang in there, you’ll be okay”, he had reassured him, and Chekov had smiled briefly before his eyes fell shut again. The next thing he knew was getting pushed out of the way when they brought the boy into the operation room. Jim was left alone, trembling from the adrenaline that slowly left his body, now that they were finally back, and Chekov was with Bones. They had done it; it would be alright, so why wasn’t he more relieved? Why did he still feel on edge?

“Jim”, Spock’s calm voice interrupted his spiralling.

“Spock” he breathed out in relief. Seeing his friend calmed him down a little.

“You should sit down Jim, you are trembling and appear to be rather unsteady on your feet”, his friend told him, and Jim nodded, realizing how weak his legs felt.

“Yeah, good idea”, he mumbled and took a step only to stumble forward, almost falling, hadn’t Spock caught him and guided him gently to a chair. Jim sighed shakingly.

“The doctor ordered me to care of you while he would deal with Mr Chekov”, Spock informed him, and Jim chuckled.

“I didn’t know you took orders from Bones”, he replied smirking.

“Well, he told me what I should do to, and I quote, ‘make sure the idiot doesn’t die while I deal with Chekov’”, Spock added, “I would have convinced myself of your wellbeing without the doctor’s direct orders of course”

Jim laughed quietly.

“Good to know you care about me, Spock”

“Of course I do, I thought I had made this quite clear already”, Spock replied, arching his eyebrow in confusion.

“You did, I was just joking”, Jim said and rolled his eyes, “sorry my brain feels a little drained”

“Understandable, the doctor mentioned you might be a little more irritable than usual”, Spock said, “I will get you something to eat and drink, as well as a fresh uniform”
With that he got up and left. Jim leaned back in the chair, letting out a deep breath and closed his eyes, waiting for his friend to return and Bones to finish the surgery. Gosh, he was so sick of waiting.

After eating a little and drinking a lot, forced by Spock, although Jim really was hungry and thirsty, he showered quickly and changed into fresh clothes which made him feel a whole lot better. He hadn’t realized how gross he had been. Still tired though, he collapsed back into the chair next to Spock, waiting for Bones to finish. How long could it take to take out a freaking appendix?

“Thanks for taking care of my ‘wellbeing’”, he said to Spock, “I’m okay now, so you don’t have to stay” Spock, who hadn’t said anything since Jim returned, turned to face him.

“You may be physically alright, Jim but I can see you are still in emotional distress. Therefore, and because my presence on the bridge isn’t required right now, I will stay to provide emotional support until Mr Chekov is out of his surgery”, his friend explained, as if it was the most common thing ever and Jim laughed, immediately feeling better. They sat in silence, but Spock’s presence calmed him enough that he could sit without pacing anymore, while they waited together for Bones to finish.

After what felt like forever, Bones finally entered the small waiting area, looking as exhausted as Jim felt. Jim sprang to his feet, managing not to stumble too much.

“Is the kid alright?”, he asked, looking at his friend expectantly.

“He’s fine Jim. Or rather will be soon”, Bones replied, already scanning his captain with his eyes that were almost as effective as a tricorder, “there weren’t many complications. We were right, it was his appendix, and it had burst. Luckily, there was no necrotic tissue, and I could remove the inflamed area completely. I am a little concerned about Chekov getting peritonitis because of the time delay between the burst and the surgery, but I gave him a hypo and we’ll just have to wait and see. All in all, that could’ve gone a lot worse!”

Jim breathed out a sigh of relief. The kid was fine. That’s all that mattered.

“Thanks Bones”, he said honestly, giving his friend a grateful nod.

“Yeah yeah, thanks Bones hmm”, his friend did not seem pleased, “what did I tell you Jim? Chekov shouldn’t have been down there. He would’ve never been in this situation if you had listened to me and let him stay on the ship”

Theoretically Jim knew that Bones was just letting out his frustration and wasn’t actually accusing him of hurting the boy but his exhausted brain, that had been in overprotective mode for the last 48 hours started feeling really guilty at his friend’s words. Jim could feel his breathing getting a little faster, his feet swaying unsteadily. Maybe he really shouldn’t have brought Chekov with him in the first place.  

“Doctor, I do not believe the captain can be blamed for what happened to Mr Chekov since the appendicitis could not have been predictable”, Spock argued, “I believe it was, like you humans would say, simply ‘really bad timing’”

Bones ran a tired hand through his hair, looking apologetically at Jim when he noticed how the younger man was affected by his words.

“Spock’s right Jim, sorry for taking it out on you, it’s not your fault, hell you probably saved him by getting both of you to that outpost”, he said, “it’s just been one hell of a day”

“You are one to talk”, Jim muttered, thinking about the hell of a day he had.  

“Alright then, let’s get you to a bed so I can check you out properly and you can tell me what exactly happened down there”, Bones said and put a hand on Jim’s back guiding him towards the actual sickbay.

“Bones, let go off me, I’m fine”, Jim protested, “Spock already took care of me”

“Spock made sure you didn’t pass out while I was in surgery”, Bones argued, “I’ll make sure it stays that way. Come on, that’s an order from your CMO. Besides, the kid should wake up during the next hour” That convinced Jim enough to allow Bones to lead him away. He knew that he needed to rest because honestly, staying upright was getting more and more difficult.

“Rest well captain”, Spock told him, and Jim simply nodded, too tired to reply.

After Bones had checked him out, deciding that there was nothing wrong with him other than physical exhaustion Jim began to tell him a little more about what had happened to them. He also told him about how the mission was successful at least in some way because he had figured out what had been bothering Chekov for quite some time. Of course, he left out the more personal details the boy had entrusted him with but still gave his friend a good overview. Bones seemed to be as shocked as Jim was after hearing how much self-worth issues the young man had. He then agreed that it had been a good idea after all to get Chekov of the ship for a little ‘bonding time’ with his captain. Jim rolled his eyes at the description but knew that this was pretty much what they had done down there. They bonded, got closer and learned to trust each other.

“How do you plan to deal with the kid’s mental issues?”, Bones asked.

“I don’t know yet. I told him to tell me if there was something like this bothering him in the future. Not sure he will but I’ll give him some time to recover from all this, physically and emotionally, before I talk about it with him again”, Jim answered, and Bones seemed pleased enough with that. He then ordered Jim a night of rest in sickbay, and immediately shut down his friend’s protest by pointing out that Jim would only worry about Chekov anyway so he might as well stay here, where he could lie in the bed next to him and convince himself that he was okay.

“Father and son need to stay together, don’t you think?”, Bones asked, slightly teasingly and Jim raised an eyebrow in suprise.

“Earlier, right before you beamed up, you dropped your communicator to take care of Chekov but you didn’t actually turn it off so we could hear your conversation”, Bones started to explain smirking, “including the part where you told the kid that you were basically considering him a son” Jim’s eyes widened in surprise and shock, cheeks turning red with embarrassment.

“Don’t worry”, Bones laughed, “only Spock and I could hear you and I think only I actually listened, so your secret is safe with me”

“Thanks”

“I do think it’s a step in the right direction for you though”, Bones added, “that could develop into something really meaningful for the two of you”

“Can we talk about this another time, I’m tired”, Jim pretended to whine, and Bones chuckled. Truth be told, Jim didn’t want to deal with all these new emotions he felt when he thought about Chekov right now. He needed to sleep first. Bones put his bed next to Chekov’s and covered him up with a blanket.

“He’ll be fine Jim, get some rest”, he said quietly and left. Jim observed the young man on the bed next to him. For the first time in the last two days Chekov was sleeping peacefully, his chest rising and falling in a steady pattern and no traces of pain visible on his face. Allowing him to take in the picture in front of him a little longer, Jim was finally overwhelmed by his own exhaustion and fell asleep.

Five days later, Jim was on his way to the bridge. He had been released from sickbay after only one night, but Chekov was still there, getting better every day. Jim had visited him quite often, and they had simply talked a lot. Bones had told him that the kid hadn’t had a nightmare since being admitted which Jim took as a good sign. Ready for another shift, he waited for the automatic doors to open and entered.

“Keptin on ze bridge!”

He blinked in surprise at the familiar Russian accent and blinked again, when he saw the mob of curly hair and Chekov’s wide smile, grinning at him with pure joy and adoration.

“I suppose ‘Mr Chekov on the bridge’ would be more appropriate”, he said, grinning as well as he went to stand next to his navigator, “aren’t you supposed to be in sickbay”

“Dr McCoy let me go earlier because I vas improving wery vell”, the kid explained happily.

“And you’re sure you didn’t just annoy him enough, complaining about being bored so that he’d let you go?”, Jim asked grinning.

“Maybe”, Chekov replied, smiling mischievously and Jim laughed, just like the rest of the bridge. He briefly put his hand on the boy’s shoulder and said quieter and a little more serious: “Good to have you back kid”

“Good to be back, Keptin”, he agreed, and Jim gave his shoulder a quick squeeze before he went to sit on his chair.

“Are we all set, Mr Chekov?”

“Aye sir”

“Alright then. Warp factor one, straight ahead Mr Sulu”, Jim said and smiled, when the Enterprise sped up.

Chapter Text

Chekov was scared. Or maybe not exactly scared, more like nervous and a little anxious. It was late on the Enterprise, most of the crew already in their own quarters sleeping just like Chekov had half an hour ago. He had woken up with a start, shaking slightly and sweating uncomfortably. It had been his first nightmare since the mission almost two weeks ago that had left him with one appendix less but otherwise unharmed. Despite everything he had really enjoyed their mission, it had been oddly nice spending this much time alone with the captain, just talking and joking around. However, it was one particular conversation they had that made him leave his bed tonight. The captain had said, if he should have problems again in the future he should tell him. Chekov wasn’t sure if that included him having a nightmare but since he felt like he wouldn’t get any more sleep right now, he might as well try to ask for help by seeking out the other man’s company. That’s how he found himself standing in front of the door of one of their shared breakrooms, contemplating if he should go in or not. The computer had told him where he could find the captain, but Chekov was still trying to find the courage to actually enter. He could hear voices from inside.

“A very bold move you made there, Jim” Chekov was relatively sure that was Mr Spock.

“Are you sure Spock, I’d say it was the only logical move for me to make”, the captain replied, and Chekov was sure he was smiling.

“You don’t stand a chance against Jim, my green blooded friend. Nobody could beat him in the academy”

Was that Dr McCoy? Why were they all still up? Chekov’s bravery faded. It would’ve been hard enough to face the captain alone but Mr Spock and Dr McCoy as well? That was too much. He was about to turn around, when he heard Mr Spock saying: “Captain, I’ve noticed someone standing in front of the door for quite some time now, without making a move to enter” Chekov froze.

“Your hearing skills are kind of creepy, you know”, the doctor commented.

“Whoever is out there, just come in”, the captain said, and Chekov knew he didn’t have a choice now. He slowly opened the door and entered.

“Chekov?!” The doctor sounded surprised.

“Good evening, Mr Chekov”, Spock greeted him while Chekov just stood there awkwardly, trying to avoid their eyes.

“Hey kid”, the captain finally said, “seeing you here is a nice surprise, come here” He patted the empty spot on the couch he was sitting on and Chekov hesitantly sat down next to him, but immediately felt better, not being alone anymore. Spock sat on a chair in front of them and the doctor on a chair next to Jim’s other side. In the middle between them stood a small table with their chessboard on top.

“You alright there Chekov?”, Dr McCoy suddenly asked, “you look a little pale”

“I… I’m okay, doctor”, he replied hesitantly, “I just ehh…” He looked helplessly at Jim, embarrassed enough already without wanting to say it out loud. But his captain seemed to understand.

“Nightmare?”, he asked gently, and Chekov just nodded, lowering his head shamefully but to his surprise Jim placed a hand on his back and started rubbing it comfortingly. Chekov tried not to show how much that helped but still allowed himself to relax under the touch.

“You want me to send those two idiots out so you can tell me about it?”, he asked, and Chekov knew he meant what he said, but still shook his head.

“No Keptin, zat is okay, I don’t really remember vhat it vas about”, he replied honestly because he really had no concrete memory, only the feeling of being scared and alone, “I just felt like I could use zome good company”

It was true, the last thing he wanted was being alone right now but having Mr Spock and the doctor knowing about his problems was a little embarrassing. Or more like a lot.

“Alright kid, whatever you want”, Jim said and gave his shoulder another squeeze, “I can’t promise you ‘good’ company but you’re welcome to hang out here with us”

Chekov laughed and leaned back against the couch a little.

“Zat vould be wery nice”, he mumbled, and the captain smiled at him.

“It is your move, Jim”, Mr Spock said.

“Ah yes, sorry Spock. Give me a second” He rearranged his position in such a way that he could reach the chess board with one arm, while the other was still wrapped around Chekov’s shoulder. Chekov pulled up his knees to his chest and allowed himself to lean against Jim’s side.

“Now aren’t you two cute”, Dr McCoy commented teasingly, “Comfy?”

“Actually Bones”, Jim replied and moved on of his pieces, “it’s getting a little chilly. Go get us a blanket” He smirked at his friend and Chekov chuckled as well.

“When the hell did I become your servant, mister?”, the doctor protested.

“Please doctor, it is wery cold”, Chekov said, feeling a lot more confident now and pretended to whine, giving his best puppy look eyes.

“Haha nice going, kid”, the captain laughed, “now look at those eyes and tell me you have the heart to not get us a blanket and watch the poor kid freezing to death here”

The doctor muttered something Chekov didn’t really understood but got up and left, not without giving them an annoyed and somewhat amused look.

“That was quite an effective emotional manipulation”, Mr Spock commented, “it is a relief that I am immune against such tactics”

“Yeah, thank god you are, Spock”, Jim replied laughing and rolling his eyes, “your move”

They played for a while and Chekov could feel himself slowly getting really tired again. At some point the doctor had returned and wordlessly handed the captain a blanket that the other had used to cover himself but mostly Chekov, who didn’t protest at the additional warmth. He found listening to the three friends bantering surprisingly relaxing and although he wanted to keep paying attention to what was going on around him, he felt himself having to force his eyes to stay open.

“Get some rest kid, I’ll be right here”, he suddenly heard Jim whispering into his ear. That was enough reassurance for him to give into his body’s desperate need for sleep.

“Zank you”, he replied just as quietly and shifted a little until he had found a comfortable position, with his head resting on Jim’s shoulder. He felt the captain playing with his hair a little and relaxed even more. Chekov smiled. This would be the first time in a long time that he could fall asleep without being afraid, because he felt protected from any potential nightmare.