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Gray thinks about it all the time.
She’s always known she wanted kids someday. She’d been eight years old, sitting at a table with Lyon and watching Ur cook and she’d always thought that one day, that would be her. One day, she’d get the chance to give her kids the life that she wanted so badly. She’d give her kids parents who loved each other and she’d give them everything that they ever wanted.
Well, all that hinged on her getting into a relationship and for a few years there, she’d been pretty damn convinced that she was going to die alone.
For most of her life, Gray’s watched the people around her die. She’d watched Deloria take away all of the people that she’d dared to love; her parents had died to protect her, Ur had died to fix Gray’s mistake, and Lyon had left because of her. Everybody who has ever loved her dies because of her. She’s cursed. She keeps living even when she doesn’t deserve it. She’ll die and she won’t even deserve that. Everyone she loves leaves somehow.
So she pushes people away first. She never lets anyone get closer than arm’s reach. She’d fought with Cana once, her closest friend in the guild, and Cana had spitefully called her a white hole. Nobody can ever get close, nobody can touch her, nobody gets to see any part of her that she doesn’t want them to.
That is, until she met Natsu.
She’d hated Natsu at first. Natsu, with her bright pink hair and the hazel eyes that Gray so often felt like she was drowning in. Natsu, with her short temper and quick wit. Natsu, with the passion that radiates off of her just like the fire sparking at her fingertips.
Everyone that Gray has ever loved has left her… except for Natsu.
It took years of Gray trying her damn hardest to shake off Natsu only to turn around and find her standing right behind her until she finally managed to admit to herself that she’d grown to look forward to the constant annoyance in her life.
Natsu’s nothing if not consistent; she’s the first person who Gray has loved and knew would never leave.
They’ve been dating for years and Gray has thought about starting a family since the very first day—Natsu’s the only person who she’s ever thought it to be possible with.
“So,” Natsu begins, narrowing her eyes at Porlyusica, “if this all works and I get pregnant, I won’t have my period for nine months.”
Porlyusica stares at her blankly. “Yes, that is how pregnancy works.”
“Awesome!” Natsu grins widely, her head snapping to look at Gray. “Didja hear that, Gray? I won’t have my period for nine months—nine whole months! I can go on a mission every day!”
“We’re also going to have a baby at the end of it, you do know that, right?” Gray says with a chuckle.
“That’s even better!”
Natsu is—quite literally—the light of Gray’s life. She’d sat down one day and started thinking about her future and the kids that she always wanted to have, and she found that she couldn’t picture one where Natsu wasn’t at her side.
“Are you two sure you want to go through with this? It’s a tough decision,” Porlyusica asks, facing away from the two of them as she mixes some different brightly coloured liquids together. Natsu glances at Gray and nods, her expression fierce and unwavering.
“Yes,” Gray answers for the both of them, reaching over to hold Natsu’s hands. She tangles their fingers together, the heat of Natsu’s hands cancelling out the coolness of Gray’s own.
Porlyusica spares a glance at them, a tiny, minuscule smile breaching her frosty exterior. “You’ll make good parents,” she remarks, her voice low and before either Gray or Natsu can reply to that, she’s holding out a hot pink concoction towards Natsu. “Drink up!”
As it turns out, being pregnant does not make Natsu any less energetic than she usually is.
It’s not like Gray was hoping for that—one of the things that she loves most about Natsu is her boundless energy and short fuse—but it did come as a surprise to both of them. Natsu runs around and picks fights just as much as she did when she wasn’t pregnant, leading to Gray needing to calm Natsu down and dote on her a little bit.
She doesn’t mind it. She really doesn’t mind it. Natsu deserves a little rest. She’s always doing everything for everyone else; Gray doesn’t mind letting Natsu rest every now and then (even if it is a struggle to convince Natsu that she needs it).
Which is exactly what Gray is doing right now: Natsu is convinced that she doesn’t need to rest and Gray is covering her up with a blanket, placing a mug of hot chocolate on the bedside table.
“Gray, I’m not even tired,” Natsu says with almost a whine. Gray sits down on the edge of the bed next to her, running her fingers through Natsu’s pink hair.
“Well, I am, so why don’t we just rest for a little?” Gray responds, handing the hot chocolate to Natsu.
Natsu takes the hot chocolate and takes a sip before grumbling, “Alright then, I guess it’s okay if you’re tired.”
Natsu hates letting on that she’s tired, but Gray knows her better than anybody else. Gray tangles her hands in Natsu’s hair, twisting pink strands around her fingers. Natsu leans into her touch.
The thing about Natsu Dragneel is that very few people get to see her like this. Gray likes to consider herself lucky that she’s one of them.
Gray remembers being eight years old, walking into a guild full of strangers right after losing every single person that she’s ever cared about. It had been so isolating, taking on all that weight and guilt without having anywhere to put it.
Gray remembers being ten years old, watching a girl with pink hair cropped close to her head and the brightest eyes that Gray’s ever seen walk into the guild. She held her head up high like the world had scarred her so many times and she’d refused to let any of that deterioration touch her.
She’d watched Natsu walk like she owned the world and then immediately break into a fight with the person closest to her and Gray had come to the conclusion that for better or for worse, there was no escaping Natsu Dragneel.
Natsu’s like a black hole. She sucks in the people around her and refuses to let them go. There’s no escaping her—but really, why would you ever want to? Gray’s a white hole, pushing everyone away for their own safety. An unstoppable force meets an immovable object; that’s what Natsu and Gray are. It’s why they work.
Gray remembers being eleven years old, catching a specific look from Natsu and immediately following her out to the river. They’d sparred for hours on end, day after day, trying to prove who was stronger. Who won how many fights doesn’t matter—it never did. What matters is the way they’d sit by the river, both exhausted and bruised, arms aching and legs sore while they’d patched each other up wordlessly, applying bandages and cleaning wounds because no matter how much they hated each other, there was always love underlying it.
They’ve loved each other for longer than Gray remembers. Gray remembers hating Natsu and loving Natsu and really, those were always the same thing.
“Gray. Gray,” Natsu starts, her eyes staring directly at Gray, “hey, Gray, hey.” She continues repeating Gray’s name until Gray nods at her and then she continues on, “You wanna hear a joke?”
“Yeah, okay, hit me.”
“A woman walks into her doctor's office. She asks him if she should have a baby after 35 and he says, ‘No, 35 children is enough’,” Natsu cackles at her own joke.
“You’re such an idiot,” Gray says with a shake of her head and a fond smile across her lips.
Natsu smacks her arm lightly. “You’re an idiot!”
“No, you are!”
“You are!”
“You are, flamebreath!”
“You are, ice princess!”
The two stare at each other for a few seconds, Gray’s dark blue eyes finding Natsu’s hazel ones and refusing to let go, and then they both burst into laughter at the same time.
“Aren’t you supposed to be nice to me?” Natsu raises an eyebrow.
“Why, ‘cause you’re pregnant? You’ve been picking fights at the guild all day, I don’t think you really care about that,” Gray chuckles, leaning in close to Natsu.
“No, it’s ‘cause—holy shit, you’re right!” Natsu’s jaw drops as she stares at Gray. “I have the perfect excuse to get you to do whatever I want.” Natsu pauses to think for a second before her face lights up and she points towards the kitchen. “Get me a snack!”
Gray rolls her eyes but does oblige. “How did you only now realize that?” she says when she gets back, handing Natsu a bag of chips. “I did shit like this for you even when you weren’t pregnant.”
“I know,” Natsu says with a satisfied smirk. “I like seeing you do things for me.”
Gray kisses Natsu on the forehead, brushing her pink hair out of her face. It’s grown a little longer in recent months and she knows that Natsu will want to cut it soon. “And you love to watch me go, right?”
Natsu stares blankly. “What? Why would I like to watch you leave?”
“Because of my ass?” Gray raises an eyebrow, watching as Natsu blinks once—then twice. “Because I have a nice ass?” Natsu keeps staring. “Because when I walk away, you can stare at my ass?”
Natsu starts cackling loudly, her laugh echoing around the room. “I don’t need you to walk away to look at your ass—I look at your ass all the time.”
“Move over,” Gray says with a roll of her eyes, pushing Natsu gently so she can crawl into the bed too.
“You move over,” Natsu grumbles while actively moving over to let Gray crawl into bed next to her.
Natsu’s hands wrap around Gray’s core, pulling Gray in like the black hole that she is. Her head comes to rest in the crook of Gray’s neck. Gray wraps her own arms around Natsu as well and she’s nothing like the white hole she used to be.