/r/AITAH 

u/thecrawlingchaos

AITA for reuniting a father with his long lost daughter?

So, I (100000000+, whatever) went out of my way to hire a man (34M + centuries old entity in his head, NB?) who I thought was PERFECT for the job I needed done. I won’t go into the finer details of the job as you wouldn’t understand them (I’m just a regular old stone collector, folks!) but he failed to retrieve it and broke our agreement. I specifically warned him of the outline of our deal when he first agreed to it: if he did as I asked, he would get to see his daughter again. The truth of the matter is, redditors - I was going to let him see his daughter either way! Just - under different circumstances. I’m sure you get it. 

Well, he did not get it, and has been hounding me ever since. He failed his task and now he’s throwing his toys out of the pram for being punished. I think the agreement was honestly pretty fair! I mean, did I manipulate him into doing it? Yes. Did I threaten him into doing it? Yes!!! Did I tell him I was going to torture his dead daughter in front of him, as well as every other person he’s ever loved, if he didn’t achieve his mission? Absolutely. 

Because that’s how things get done. 

Honestly, I didn’t think he’d be such a crybaby about it. I mean, after all the shit I’ve seen him put up with, I was actually surprised to see he had a breaking point. But really, half the time he spent with these people, he was terrible to them! But he won’t hear it from me. I know he’s always had a problem with authority figures, but come on. I’m not the one responsible for him destroying these relationships! He did that long before I got involved. 

If anything, it’s like the equivalent of making him sit through a boring presentation. I try to liven it up, I really do - but there’s only so many jokes you can make when slitting a child’s throat in front of her crying mother and father. You know, I’ve been trying out different medias; last time I tried to make it more of a puppet show! Really try and go to some niche places, get a bit experimental with it. I made his little girl bleed her mother dry like the day she gave birth to her - I mean, if anything, it’s just a retelling! Who doesn’t enjoy an adaptation, right? Especially when they make some interesting changes. But I suppose he and I just have ‘creative differences’.

And don’t even get me STARTED on the voice in his head, nag nag nagging me. He keeps saying stuff like “can you at least let him hear me?” and it’s like, no John, you’re being punished too. THAT’S THE POINT. Just watch the only person you love watch the people he loves be tortured for eternity! That’s what you’re there for. A spectator to my grand designs. But he doesn’t get that. Not the brightest bulb in the box, that one. Still, a couple millenia and he’ll start to enjoy it. Hardly the first time he’s fallen off the wagon. You’d think he’d be more grateful, after EVERY opportunity I’ve given him. I helped him escape rock bottom, but you’ll never hear my praises sung for that! I’ll just have to do it myself. 

Anyway, I told a friend about this and she said I was being a little harsh, and maybe I should reign in the puppet shows and the like. I think she’s an idiot who doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but I thought: am I being a little harsh? He agreed to my terms; he knew what would happen! I can’t be expected to let him off because the punishment is a little bit awful.