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Scar grabbed onto Grian’s shoulders, stopping him in his tracks and subsequently stopping Grian’s rambling, “I don’t need you to sell me on reasons to want you.”
Grian looked up at the taller man, the red eyes he’d known for so long actually looking back at him in a way he thought they never would again.
“I don’t need you to search for the proof that I… should.” Scar said. Remembering the way that Grian had been before, how lively he’d been. What had slipped through Scar’s fingers the moment he had woken up in the second game without his memories, he was now determined to pick up and put it all back together, as long as Grian would hold still for long enough to let him, “You don’t have to convince me, you don’t have to be scared you’re not enough… cos what had going? Was good.”
The hurt in Grian’s eyes shone through, every time Scar had dismissed him, sure that the first winner hated him for some unknown reason, he’d never noticed that the hurt was far deeper than annoyance or anger; it was pain.
“I’m not trying to remind you of all that’s been broken, I’m not going to fix things you’d rather forget,” Scar assured, “Clear the slate and… start over. Try to quiet the noises in your head. I can’t compete with all… that.”
Grian huffed out a laugh through tears, bringing his hand up to catch the startled noise that came out with his laughter.
“So what if it’s us?” Scar asked, “What if it’s us, and only us? And what came before won’t count anymore, or matter. Can we try that? What if it’s you, and what if it’s me, and what if that’s all that we need it to be, and the rest of the world falls away?”
Scar sighed as he looked at Grian, anxiously waiting for a response.
After a long breath of silence, he couldn’t handle it anymore, “What do you say?”
“I never thought there’d be someone like you who would want me.” Grian rushed out.
“Well -” Scar stumbled, not sure how to take the admission.
“And I gave you ten thousand reasons to not let me go.” Grian thought back to how desperate he’d been at points to be useful to Scar, unsure if the red name would suddenly turn on him without tangible reasons to keep him around. Looking back it felt silly, projecting his own priorities onto Scar when the taller man clearly had other things on his mind, like bees and llamas and fun, “But if you really need me, if you like me for me and… nothing else. Well, that’s all that I’ve wanted for longer than you could possibly know.”
Grian rushed in to capture Scar in an embrace that the taller man wasn’t sure he could get out of if he tried, not that he felt any inclination to try.
“So it can be us, it can be us and only us, and what came before won’t count anymore, or matter?” Grian stumbled out, reassuring himself that he hadn’t read Scar’s message wrong, but looking up at the sharp grin on Scar’s face he was confirmed in his belief that this was something Scar actually wanted, “We could try that.”
“It’s not so impossible,” Scar said in response, “With nobody else but the two of us here.”
“Because you’re saying it’s possible,” Grian said, “We could just watch the whole world disappear till you’re the only one I still know how to see.”
Scar caught Grian’s face in his hands, “It’s just you and me.”
“It will be us,” Grian smiled, leaning into one hand, “It will be us and only us, and what came before won’t count anymore.”
Grian leaned in, eyes closed as he once again felt that warm beaming sunshine flutter behind his eyes, but this time he could also feel the warmth of Scar nearby, leaning in too before they finally met in the middle. Four blood-soaked games melted away for that moment, and they were back in the desert, before anyone was actually dead. Back when it was just a game, and they were all still having fun. Before more people got dragged into the mess, and before anyone’s memory was erased.
But all good things must come to an end, and soon they had to part for air, though they kept as close to each other as possible while they caught their collective breath.
“We can try that,” Scar smiled, giddy, “You and me, that’s all that we need it to be. And the rest of the world falls away.”
“And the rest of the world falls away.” Grian echoed.
“And it’s only us.”