Chapter Text
A week after the incident in the Land of Waves, Kakashi’s mind and body decided to act on their own accord without asking him first. See, he had managed to ditch paperwork and instead train with Gai in one of the empty forests of the village. Of course, the other man had been the one to appear in his office and suggest a challenge, but the Hatake had barely registered a minute before agreeing. He needed it.
His body still felt tense even with his medication and nightmares continued coming at him every time he closed his eyes. Blood. Dead hostages. Gai asking him to let go. Ugh.
At the end, his distraction had costed him ending up pinning on the ground, his friend’s body holding him down. How he managed to have so much strength when one of his legs was basically useless, was a mystery for Kakashi.
What was not a mystery, though, was the warm feeling running through his body to a very specific part of his anatomy due to their position and the fact that Gai’s good knee was almost brushing his crotch. Evidently, then was when his mind and body decided to act by themselves. Just as he had done many other times in which they were in that situation, he thrusted his hips up, looking for contact, and freed one of his hands from Gai’s hold to bring him down in a kiss.
The spark of electricity was immediate, the Hatake feeling alive for the first time since the end of the War. Because —dear Kami-sama—, it had been that long since the last time he got laid. Sure, being Hokage he got a lot of admirers and propositions, but he was also too busy to manage three meals a day, so imagine trying to fit sex in the schedule. He had been lucky to have a few minutes a week to jerk off.
Going back to that wonderful moment… Gai’s response took a little bit longer than usual, just a few seconds, and Kakashi was just about to open his mouth so their tongues could meet when his friend pulled back. Uh, that was a first.
“Erm… I’m sorry, rival, I can’t.”
“You… can’t?”
“Well, I can, of course!” the taijutsu master assured, as if wanting to leave that clear. “I’m still very much capable of… You know. I just… I don’t want.”
That was a second first. How many surprises could Gai give him in one day? Normally, by then he would be pressed against a tree while their clothes were left behind.
“I see” he said. Then, because he was not sure of how to continue, added: “I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize, rival!” the other man beamed.
To definitely stablish that they wouldn’t go through with what the Hatake had had in mind, the taijutsu master moved to stand up. With the mechanical orthosis attached to his right leg, he was able to more or less walk normally and thus was useful for training, even if he could still kick butts while standing only on one leg.
Smiling, Gai offered him a hand to help him up. Kakashi took it.
“So, this puts me ahead by one point, if I’m not mistaken” his friend said. “You better not stay behind, rival!”
What did he mean with ‘don’t want’? Gai had never not wanted to have sex. They had been at it for years with incredible results so, why would he…?
“Rival?”
Right. Challenges. Points. Not sex. Gai was still his friend.
“Sure” he responded with a shrug. “I won’t hold back the next time.”
“That’s the… WAIT! What do you mean the next time?!”
Too late, Kakashi was already leaving. Of course it, had been a joke. He would never hold back against the other man unless he wanted to get injured, one or two functional legs aside.
Ten days later —no that the Hatake was counting—, he felt betrayed by Gai for the first time in… Well, forever.
Kakashi was on his way to Ichiraku with the intention of having at least one decent meal that week when he saw his friend coming out from a supermarket. He was too far away to understand what he was saying, but the wheelchair and green spandex kind of gave away it was him.
Surprisingly, Gai was not carrying any bag but instead turned his chair to wait outside for whoever he was talking to. Possibly Lee or Tenten, the Hatake thought, maybe even Sakura. But no. The person that came out from the supermarket was a man Kakashi didn’t know. About his height, slender, brunette… He was wearing civilians clothes and, whatever they were talking about, Gai seemed to be very happy about it.
Considering the Hatake’s brain stopped working as he assimilated the information, his feet refused to keep moving as well. Like that, he was only able to see the two men advancing in Gai house’s direction, still chatting and the other man carrying whatever they had bought.
Now, one could call Kakashi a paranoid, but he was also a very skilled shinobi that had worked in seduction missions at ANBU for quite some time. He knew what he was looking at. The slight inclination towards the wheelchair, the movement of his hands, the bright smile… The other man was clearly interested in Gai. And his friend was… Well, he was responding.
So much for not ‘wanting it’ he thought.
It was evident Kakashi needed answers. First, because he was sexually frustrated. And second, because… Because Gai was his friend. His rival. His… His. He had been for years. Whatever had changed between them, he felt as if he deserved an explanation at least, right?
So, he escaped from the office a little sooner that day. Theoretically, he had another meeting to attend and a bunch of papers to sign. Practically, this was way more important in the Hatake’s priority list.
By the time he arrived at Gai’s window, his friend was alone in the apartment. Still, the window was slightly open and that let part of the house’s essence outside and directly into Kakashi’s nostrils. Even if he didn’t recognize the smell of that other man he had seen with Gai, he could still detect it among the others.
“Rival!” the taijutsu master exclaimed upon seeing him at the window. “What are you doing there? Come on in! I have tea prepared.”
“Who is the man that was here before?” he asked, fully ignoring his offering.
The Hatake still entered the house, but stayed next to the window. There was an almost imperceptible change in Gai’s body —almost like a flinch— at his words.
“Oh! His name is Nosuke” he stated with a smile. “He’s an engineer and works at the hospital helping with innovation for handicap people.”
Kakashi’s heart hung at that small bit of information with hope.
“So, he was helping you with your wheelchair?” he asked, trying to sound nonchalant. “I was not aware you had problems with it.”
“No, no, my wheelchair is just fine” Gai assured, patting fondly at it. “Nosuke helped me carry my groceries back home after our date.”
Those words felt like a punch straight to the Hatake’s stomach, but he was trained well-enough to not show any sign of it. Still, he was angry at the whole thing. Gai didn’t need any help carrying bags, they both knew it so, he was… What? Letting that Nosuke guy do it to please him? And that was not even the worst part, no…
“I thought you didn’t want anything at this moment.”
In his mind, Kakashi deserved at least a little bit of honesty. If Gai had simply grown tired of him, he should say it to his face.
“Well, back then I was referring to…” the other man actually sighed. “Rival, we’re not sleeping together.”
It was evident there was a word missing at the end of that sentence.
“Yet” he punctuated.
“Kakashi” his friend grunted, more serious than he had heard in quite some time, “I don’t see how this involves you.”
“You don’t? A week ago you said you were not interested!”
Was he behaving like a little shit because he was sexually frustrated? Probably yes. Did he have a right to a proper explanation? He wanted to believe so.
“Rival! This is not the same!” Gai protested, his tone more tired than angry. “Nosuke actually wants to know me and spend time together.”
Kakashi couldn’t contain a huff.
“I know you already” he said. “And I’m probably the person with whom you have spent more time in your life.”
“It’s not the same, rival.”
“How so?”
The Hatake was equally confused and angry. They had a good thing going. A great thing. It didn’t make sense to suddenly want to break it off just because… What? Because Gai wanted to meet other men?
“What I want right now, Kakashi… Is not what we had” his friend carefully spoke. “After the War and my recovery… I love you, rival, but that’s not enough for me anymore. I don’t want quick meetings and empty promises in bed. I yearn for a slow and tender love, the kind you read so much about. That’s what Nosuke is offering me.”
Kakashi didn’t know how to answer. What was he supposed to say? What did Gai expect him to respond? It was as if clarity had hit him straight on the face, and with it a sense of panic. So, he did what he was used to when feeling overwhelmed: ran away.
He was out of the house in the split of a second and jumping from one roof to another in the next one. By the time he came to an stop, he was in the forest over the Hokage’s Monument. At least his ANBU guards had had the decency to follow his instructions and stop tailing him once he left the office, so he felt safe enough to take off his mask and draw a long breath in.
So that was why Gai had broken things off. It was not that he had grown tired of Kakashi, but worse, he had realized that what he wanted was something the Hatake could not give him. Why? Well, because… Because. What was the point of it, anyways? They were supposed to be always there for each other, what else could Gai need?
A slow and tender love, the kind you read so much about.
Those books were fiction. Shinobi didn’t live happily ever after. They trained. They fought. They prepared for war. Except, at the moment the world was at peace, fighting was unusual and training was dedicated less time to.
Kakashi let out a sigh, repositioned his mask and laid his back against a tree while sliding down onto the ground. What was he supposed to do?