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“God you stupid girl! You’re such a useless daughter” Judge Vinsmoke cursed out at his kind hearted child.
In response to his anger the girl burst into tears. Ichiji watched her younger sister. She was silent as their father berated the sobbing child. Her blonde hair covered her eyes, wavy and cut just above her shoulders, different to Ichiji’s red hair tied in a ponytail, carefully done first by their mother, who then taught her second eldest daughter how to do it herself.
(For the day their mother would no longer be able to do it herself.)
Sanji ended up running away in terror and sadness painted throughout her entire being. Something twisted in Ichiji’s chest but she didn’t know what it was. It burned. She ultimately decided against telling their father of the burn. It would heal over time, she was sure.
After the siblings' training Ichiji waited for everyone else to leave.
Sanji had left earlier, Reiju said something about heading to her bathroom. Ichiji’s younger brothers, Niji and Yonji, had fought about who could find the biggest bug and then had run off to try and win the silly competition they made up. Their boundless energy tired Ichiji. She wanted to go to her room and read.
She had walked quietly from the training grounds, but paused outside a door before her own. She heard the sniffles, and the burning twisty pain in her chest came back.
Ichiji weighed out her options. Go to her room and read, but risk hearing the sniffling continue, or open her little
twin
sister’s door and try to make her stop the weird eye leaking.
(Crying her mind supplied, mama said something about it being used to express sadness, but Ichiji had never experienced that so she didn’t understand at the time.)
Pushing the door open, the ‘crying’ stopped, though out of fear rather than the sadness stopping. Ichiji peered at her sister. Her sister stared right back, her ocean blue eyes were wide as she looked terrified.
Ichiji closed the door behind her, gently (Ichiji isn’t supposed to be gentle.) as she stepped into her sister's room.
It was strange and felt… homely. But once again Ichiji doesn’t exactly know what that is nor how to feel it.
“Why are you crying.” She didn’t really ask, it was more of an observation mixed with slight curiosity. (You should know by now, Ichiji doesn’t. Shouldn’t have curiosity. That was an emotion.)
(Ichiji doesn’t have emotions.)
Sanji stayed quiet, her internal voice screaming at herself, and confused, so confused, why was Ichiji here?
Ichiji stepped towards her and sat down on the ground next to her, Sanji had been on the floor, back against her bed.
“Was it about what father said earlier, it was no different than usual. Why did you react strangely?” That time it was a question, Ichiji didn’t understand, their father was always prattling on about how weak and useless Sanji was, she thought her sister was used to it by now.
Not a sound could be heard as Sanji stayed quiet. But she soon spoke up.
“I don’t think I’m a girl” It was quiet and her face instantly betrayed her as though she hadn’t meant to say it. Sanji’s hands flew to her mouth as she stared down at the floor. If looks could kill the floor would have caved in by now.
Ichiji on the other hand had stilled the moment the words left her si-. Her sibling’s mouth and danced themselves through the room.
Oh.
Ichiji stayed quiet and then leaned towards Sanji.
“I don’t think I’m a girl either” Words Ichiji never dared to voice finally spilled out. They continued on “I think I’m a boy, like Niji and Yonji” Sanji drew in a breath. It was sharp, but not angry nor upset.
“Yeah me too” Were the words that left Sanji’s mouth. “Can we get rid of the dresses in my closet?”
Ichiji looked at her- his brother. A tiny smile graced his face.
“Sure if we can take them out of mine next”
The little brothers got along for probably the first time, at least in a very long time.
(And the last time for a very, very long time too.)
After they had got all the clothes they didn’t like, the two decided to just hide them in the trash bins, before Sanji dragged Ichiji to the medical ward.
He stared at the door which led to mama.
He hadn’t visited her in months, father didn’t like it when they saw her.
But still Sanji took his hand and the two walked in. Sora lit up when she saw her child, but seeing Sanji bring along another sibling made her almost burst into tears.
“Oh my beautiful daughters!” She squealed, but when the two looked uncomfortable and both looked to the sides of the room, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. She reached out for them and Sanji climbed onto the bed, whereas Ichiji seemed hesitant, but seeing his mother’s bright smile eventually lured him to sit on the bed with his two blonde family members.
(Judge was more of an ugly gold.)
“Mama we wanted to tell you something” Sanji began, looking at her with a glowing face.
“What is it my darlings?” She was curious, Sora was told many stories by Sanji, but to bring one of her other children that wasn’t Reiju? It was almost unheard of, as much as it pained her to admit.
“Me and Ichiji-”
“Ichiji and I.”
A tongue was poked out at one who returned the gesture with a roll of eyes
“Ichiji and I. Uhm” Sanji suddenly looked scared, she held her little sunshine closer.
Ichiji continued on “We’re not girls” Sora blinked, Ichiji too looked scared, and that brought tears to her eyes. Ichiji wasn’t supposed to be able to be scared.
But her children didn’t know that was what she was thinking, they saw the tears and thought of the worst.
“I’m sorry mama we can stay girls if it makes you sad, we’ll never be boys!” Sanji sobbed, holding her shirt tightly, she noticed Ichiji too held a firm grip on the blanket of her bed. Sora’s face changed so fast it was unnerving.
“No, no, no, my darlings, if you are boys then you are boys, and I can just have four beautiful sons and an eldest daughter! I love you all no matter whether you’re boys or girls, or even neither” She spoke, tears falling from her eyes as she reached out and held her boys tight. Her little darlings.
Her children who she failed. But seeing the two together, and Ichiji’s face changing in ways he couldn’t explain, well her mind was calmed by the thought that maybe, just maybe, she hadn’t failed them as much as she had previously thought.
She held them for a while longer, they had both eventually began to hug her back, Sanji quickly, while Ichiji took a little longer. “Do you want to change your names?” She asked, their names weren’t exactly… gendered. But perhaps the children would want to. She certainly wished they weren’t named by the order she gave birth to them, but Judge got his grimy hands on the kids and their ‘birth certificates’ before she did.
Ichiji seemed to contemplate it but shook his head, Sanji on the other hand had a shocked look on his face and waved his hands about. “No! If I change my name I won’t match with Ichiji, Niji and Yonji anymore! I like matching with them, it makes us connected!”
The two stared at him. Ichiji had a surprised expression for a moment that quickly disappeared. But Sora?
Well Sora thought she might burst into tears again, because there was her little boy taking something Judge had ruined for her and making it his own, something that was his and his brothers, not Judge’s.
Her babies were never Judge’s they were always hers.
She wished they could’ve stayed hers for longer.
They fell asleep on her bed, she petted their heads throughout the night. And she cried, because they shouldn’t see this, but she couldn’t do anything.
When the boys awoke in the morning, Sora’s body was cold, and Sanji began to scream, Ichiji stared in horror.
Sanji’s screams brought servants, and doctors alike to the Queen’s room, where they found the two young
princesses
(princes.) trying to wake their mother.
“...Mama?”
It was the only thing Ichiji said for the entire day.
He wishes he visited her more.
As they watched her coffin be lowered he selfishly thought something he would never dare to tell another for years to come.
He was glad she at least died knowing she had four sons.
He doesn’t know what happened to Sanji but eventually he told his father, his brothers, his older sister that he was a boy when they were twelve years old. It went better than he could’ve expected.
...
Well Judge said he must have been born with a ‘biological defect’ but other than that was surprisingly fine with it. Though Ichiji thought that perhaps he was happy it meant Niji wouldn’t be the next King of Germa.
Two years later when a birthday present in the form of removing his uterus was given, Ichiji thought perhaps he should’ve left with Sanji.
Years later (
13
.
13 Years.
1 & 3. Ichiji and Sanji.) when Sanji returned (albeit against his will) and they stared at each other quietly, well if they shared a small silent smile of understanding, that was nobody’s business but their own.