Work Text:
***
“My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue,
All's well that ends well to end up with you,
Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover.”
-“Lover” by Taylor Swift
***
She didn’t remember a lot of what she did after getting home from her shift. The last clear memory was her meeting with her chief. Now that she had officially hit the end of her first 6 months with Portland Fire and Rescue, she could be considered for internal job postings. Chief Grier wanted to make sure that Sylvie not only knew that, but registered for the next ambulance commander exam. There was an opening in the Non-Emergent Medicine Unit but they wanted someone who could, at the very least, grow into a promotion. She wanted to talk to Matt about it first so she’d asked how long she could have to make a decision.
“I can give you till the end of next shift. Is that enough time?”
“Plenty,” she replied.
And it should have been.
Except Matt got stuck with an unexpected shift when the Captain who had the watch before him called in sick. There was a flu bug going around, knocking people all over the city flat on their asses for 24 to 72 hours. Sylvie would know. She’d been called to treat a few cases of exceptionally high fevers by panicked loved ones.
And given her chosen field of expertise, she should have been better at spotting the signs.
First came the tickle in her throat. It was quickly dismissed as a result of yelling triage instructions before, during, and after a fire in a high rise apartment building. Then the pressure between her temples. Occasionally, exposure to too much smoke can do that to her. It can also cause her eyes to water, which came after the headache. The soreness in her muscles was attributed to the exceptional amount of gurneys she’d helped push over the two previous shifts and the rolling in her stomach was a result of missing meals.
She had a reason for every symptom and never once considered they were all connected.
Upon arriving home, she and Matt had traded off like they occasionally have to do. He kissed the top of Julia’s head as he handed her over and then peppered Sylvie’s cheek, lips, and forehead with her own kisses.
“I heard about the apartment building,” he whispered as he held her a little longer, lingering with his duffle strap slung over his shoulder. “And I heard you took charge of triage like a boss. That’s my girl. Planning on bragging about you to anyone who’ll listen today.”
She blushed and chuckled, leaning into his easy affection. “I’ll take it. But also, we need to talk when you get home tomorrow.”
His brow furrowed slightly and she immediately waved off his concern. “I promise it’s a good talk. Trust me.”
“If it’s a good talk then just swing by the firehouse later,” he offered. “Bring Julia and we can have dinner.”
She nodded and kissed him one more time. “Okay, it’s a date. I’ll see you tonight. Be safe.”
He promised he would and headed out to the garage.
After he left, she was fairly certain she went through her usual routine. Time with Julia before her nap when Sylvie would catch a little sleep herself, then lunch, then laundry, then more playtime with Julia and another nap. Her memories of the morning were a bit fuzzy around the edges.
Originally, she was supposed to go out to lunch for a new friend’s birthday, but for some reason she couldn’t shake her exhaustion. She’d managed six hours of sleep at the firehouse and that was typically all she needed. Not this day. She begged off but kept her babysitting appointment with Ben and Griffin. They were more than happy to watch Julia for the afternoon if Sylvie needed the extra rest.
“We got her. Neither one of us have anywhere else to be and we love hanging out with Jules,” Griffin offered.
God bless those Darden boys.
She went upstairs to lay down and then passed out hard. Everything after that was a gaping black void. What time was it? What day was it? What happened to her phone and the alarm that was supposed to wake her up? All of a sudden, waking up and putting her feet on the floor felt impossible. Hell, opening her eyes felt impossible. Had they been cemented shut or something?
She was exhausted and aching and her throat felt like sandpaper. Don’t even get her started on her overheated skin and simultaneous cold chills.
Now, over a day later, she recognized the symptoms.
Fuck.
Get up, Sylvie. Get up. Shower. Check on Jules and the boys. You don’t have the option of lying around sick all day. The boys are wonderful but they have lives. They shouldn’t have to take on her daughter for more than a few hours. Parents don’t get sick days.
But the second she attempted to push herself up onto her hands, the rolling in her stomach was back.
“Fuck.”
She muttered, covering her mouth with her hand and sprinting for the ensuite bathroom. The acrid taste of bile rose up at her throat with barely any warning.
A few minutes later, she collapsed on the bathroom floor, next to the toilet. The energy she used to make it there was the bottom of her reserves. She was tapped out.
At least the tile floor was cold. It felt nice against her flushed and sweaty skin.
“Sylvie?” A familiar voice called as the bedroom door opened.
Answering was too much. But she knew if she didn’t whoever it was would come in.
“Stay away,” she croaked, her throat on fire. “Sick. Contagious.”
“Yeah, no chance of that,” the voice replied, determined.
Solid, strong steps worked their way through the bedroom until a figure appeared at the bathroom door. Matt Casey, still in his duty uniform with a radio slung across his chest, was normally her favorite sight in the world. But at the moment she wanted him to save himself.
“No,” she insisted. “Go back downstairs. Help the boys with Julia—“
“They don’t need my help,” Matt said, cutting her off.
“I’ll get you sick,” she whined.
“Chances are I’ve already been exposed. Oh well. Too late.” His dry tone implied he wasn’t actually that worried about it.
“Matt,” she scolded.
“Sylvie,” he mimicked, lifting a stern brow.
“But your shift.”
He didn’t bother arguing with her. He just sighed and chuckled. “Honey, I mean this in the most affectionate and respectful way possible, but shut up.”
She groaned in exasperation, instantly regretting the way the sound irritated her throat. “Leave me alone to die.”
“You’re not gonna die,” he replied. She could swear there was laughter hidden behind his words. “I need to move you to the bed.”
“If you move me, I will puke. Pretty sure I’m not done.”
His large callused hand landed on her forehead. It felt warm and nice. She leaned into it and wasn’t even a little disturbed by his audible wince.
“Baby, you’re burning up,” he said softly. “When did this start?”
“I laid down to take a nap around lunch and woke up feeling like death warmed over.”
He grabbed her forearms and looped them around his neck and slid an arm under her legs. She braced herself for being lifted but all he did was sit her up with her back against the wall. Her stomach flipped but surprisingly her mouth stayed dry and bile free.
She closed her eyes and listened to her husband shuffling around their bathroom, opening up and closing cabinets, until finally he came back to her side and pressed a thermometer to her lips. Too tired to be stubborn, she let him help her. While they waited, she kept listening to his movements. His footsteps came and went, walking a path from the bathroom to the closet to the bedside and back several times until the digital thermometer beeped and he came back to read the results.
He cursed, kissed her forehead, and then walked away.
“Hey, Chief, think you can find someone else to fill in?” There’s a pause and a muted response from the other end of the line. “Yeah, she’s gonna be okay but she needs a doctor for sure. I appreciate it.” Another pause. “You got it. I’ll keep you updated.”
No! His house was already short staffed! “Matt, no.”
She felt his arms underneath her again and this time he did lift. “Sylvie, yes. This is all a part of that ‘in sickness and in health’ thing. Remember that?”
“No, we wrote our own vows,” she grumbled.
She felt his head shake from where her cheek rested against his chest but the soft laugh and kiss to the crown of her head assured her he wasn’t bothered by her attitude. “Let’s get you cleaned up and cooled down and then I’m calling your doctor.”
***
One flu test and Tamiflu prescription pick up later, Sylvie was back in bed with a cold washcloth on her forehead. Not that it did much to sooth how clammy yet overheated she felt everywhere else. She felt like a lazy slug, slimy and slow. Matt was downstairs making dinner for everyone and coordinating schedules to pick up her slack while she was sick. She didn’t like being the cause of slack — hated it as a matter of fact.
Speaking of slack, she needed to call her chief. Her doctor wanted her to rest for a minimum of five days. Which canceled out her next shift. But before she called him, she needed to talk to Matt. Just in case Grier asked for an answer.
As if he heard her telepathic cue, Matt walked into the bedroom holding a lap tray full of meds and food. He changed out of his uniform into casual clothes after they got back from the doctor and then promised to make her soup. Even though her appetite had left a while ago along with the contents of her stomach. She wrinkled her nose at him as he set the tray down on the far end of the bed and reached out his hands to help her sit up.
“I’m not hungry.”
“God, you’re worse than the boys when they got sick a couple of months back,” Matt said through a laugh. “Stop pouting. You’ll be back to being the caretaker instead of the caretakee in a few days. And you may not want to eat, but you need to. So come on.” His hands stayed out, persistent in his patience as he asked her to meet him halfway.
She sighed, knowing the sound was more dramatic than necessary. “I hate this.”
“I know you do.”
“Not pulling my weight around here is a horrible feeling.”
Matt’s brow pinched. “Pulling your weight?” He looked confused and a little offended. “What does that mean?”
It was a slip she hadn’t meant to make. Damn flu brain. Phrases like that were supposed to be her inside thoughts. She delayed answering him by taking a fever reducer and a long gulp from her water glass. “Nothing. It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“Sylvie, as much as you seem to be the embodiment of a Disney princess, you know you’re not actually Snow White, don’t you? We’re not bartering house work for room and board—“
“No, I know that. I do.”
“Then…what? What did that mean?”
“It’s not about you. Or the boys. Or Portland. And it’s not a big deal so can we just—Can we talk about it after I eat? This soup you very sweetly made for me is getting cold.”
He muttered something about her appetite “miraculously” returning but nodded as she put her hands in his. He pulled her into a sitting position, building up the pillows around her for support, and then settled the tray across her lap, with the legs on either side of her thighs.
Rounding the other side of the bed, he settled in next to her while picking up the book on his nightstand. As she ate, he sat and read his book. But she knew his eyes shifted from the page to her every so often, quietly waiting for the moment she finished her soup.
So, of course, she ate slower than she ever had in her life. She wasn’t dumb. She knew Matt possessed remarkable amounts of patience, especially with her. They’d have to talk about what she meant, but waiting until after she finished her food gave her a moment to grapple with what she wanted to say.
It was harder than normal to put words together in her weakened, exhausted state so the more time she had to prepare the better. When she was ready, she finished her soup and her glass of water and then settled back into the pillows with her hands neatly folded over her lap.
Matt, of course, read her signal perfectly and took the tray away. He came back with a cup of hot tea and a fresh bottle of water, setting them both on her bedside table before returning to his former position next to her on the bed. “Ready when you are,” he said.
“It’s not anything awful, Matt. I just like to fulfill my responsibilities. I don’t like to disappoint people.”
“What do you think would happen if you do?” Matt asked, a crease forming between his eyebrows.
“What?” She asked, a stressful buzzing causing pressure at her temples. “I—I don’t know. It just makes me feel anxious.” And sent her on a spiral of negative thoughts and emotions. If she couldn’t make the people around her happy then…
Matt’s gaze was focused on her face, watching every expression that blipped across her features. “Why does it make you anxious?”
“If I’m not helping out, If I’m not making life better for the people I love, or the community I’m a part of then—“
“Then?” He prompted when she paused.
“How do I know people will stick around?” She finally finished, gusting the words out on a harsh breath. “What good am I?”
Matt’s concern softened into heartbroken understanding as one of his arms went around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest. “Sylvie,” he said, dropping a kiss to her sweaty forehead. “You’re more than your acts of service. People love you regardless of how much or how often you help them. Yes, your big generous heart makes you the compassionate woman I love, but that love isn’t conditional on the amount of housework you do or how much of the burden you can take off of me. I want to help you take care of things — to take care of you. So do the boys. So does your new firehouse. Everyone who meets you loves you before you can do them a single favor. Trust me. I’ve been watching it happen over and over again, up close and personal, for years.”
She sniffled and burrowed her face into his neck, locking her arms around his waist. Ugh, this flu was making her weepy and depressed.
“And besides,” Matt continued, dipping his chin to speak directly into her ear. “You know I’m never leaving you. Where you go, I go. For as long as we both shall live. That’s the deal. Remember?”
“Again,” she said, eyes watering as a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “No, because we wrote our own vows.”
He shook his head against her and chuckled. “Alright, smartass.”
She relaxed, snuggling deeper into him. “Where you go, I go. Deal,” she agreed. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” His hand moved into her hair, digging his fingers into the blonde strands and gently massaging her scalp. “Now, will you promise me you’ll try and rest? The sooner you rest, the sooner you get better, and the sooner you can go back to work.”
Oh! Wait, work! “Speaking of work. I need to call Chief Grier.”
“I’ll take care of it.”
“No! I should. He’s going to want an answer about something. Something kind of big.”
Recognition dawned on his face. “The thing you wanted to talk about over the dinner you slept through?”
She nodded.
“Okay, talk to me.” His nod was quick and reassuring. “What’s up?”
“Grier wants me to sign up for the Ambulance Commander exam and apply for the Non-Emergent Medicine Unit. And I…I think I want that too.”
Matt smiled slowly, his eyes lighting up. But she spoke before he could reply.
“It might mean changing our schedule. It would probably mean more time apart or working shifts that don’t match up and more help from the boys—“
He cut her off with a kiss. Nothing too deep since she was sick. But soft enough to steal her focus and ease her concerns. When he pulled back, he pressed his brow to hers. “Whatever we need to do, however the schedule changes, no matter the help we need to enlist, we’ll make it work. If you want it, then we’ll help you get it.”
“I was hoping that’s what you’d say,” she replied, sighing contentedly. “I’ll call Grier tomorrow.” The time between her blinks slowed down and she yawned. Fatigue settling over her. “But first, I think you’re right. I should rest.”
“Yes, you should,” he agreed. “We’ll figure out the rest later. Together.”
“Together,” she mumbled, sinking back into the blankets and the stacks of pillows Matt put behind her. “Stay until I fall asleep?”
He pulled her hair to one shoulder, removed the hair tie that was less than comfortable to wear while she slept, and kissed her temple. His reply dripped with love and affection and comforted her more than any medicine ever could. “Of course. You never even have to ask.”
Because he was hers and she was his and where she went so would he. From now until forever.