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Percy Jackson screwed up
That should be the title of her autobiography, either that or “How the fuck did i last this long?”. The second one probably wouldn't fly though, mostly because some Christian Moms would probably have earth shattering bitch fits if they took their kid to the bookstore, in hopes of buying their newest alien smut book, and the kid saw the word “Fuck” on the cover of Percy Jackson’s shitty autobiography
Why is she concerned about her autobiography's title when she's a 14 year old who hasn't done anything that impressive to deserve one yet?... Actually, she has no idea
Back on track, Percy fucked up, because she forgot the number one relationship rule she got from that one magazine she read at the waiting room of the optometrist’s office (why her friends insisted on taking her there, Percy has no idea. She did find out she has 20/20 vision and they took her for ice cream afterwards so, does she really care?)
She got caught internet stalking
Well, not exactly caught. Annabeth asking her when she made an instagram account probably doesn't count, but Percy feels as if it should. How was she supposed to know that putting her phone number when registering meant all of her contacts could see what she was up to?
Averting her eyes, Percy lamely replied “Would you believe it if I said it’s not me?” suddenly their dorm’s ceiling looked interesting, very smooth, wonder what they used to build it
Annabeth, a heartless woman, Percy finds “The username literally is “Percy.Jackson” with a bunch of water emojis” she said, rolling her eyes “Ok, fess up, when did you make an instagram account and why? It’s not just because if the way you’re acting is anything to go by”
Cursing her own suspicious behavior, Percy responds “Yesterday” hoping Annabeth won’t notice it if she only answers the first part of her question
“Didn't you say your father didn't let you use social media?”
“He doesn't, i had to beg him to let me make an account and he only allowed me to if i when i post any pictures i sent it to some guy he hired to post things on social media” Percy rolled her eyes, her dad can be so extra sometimes
“Ok…ignoring that, you still didn't answer my question”
“I just did?”
“Percy, why did you make an account?” Drats, never let it be said anything escapes Annabeth Chase’s watchful gaze, heh that rhymes
“I made an account because…” Percy said, maybe mumbling a bit the last part
“Speak up, seaweed brain”
“I made an account to stalker Lester’s, ok?” God that's embarrassing to say it out loud, but it’s the truth
Percy Jackson is thoroughly, embarrassingly stalking her boyfriend's instagram account. Not because of any weird reason or to look through his following, she… she just likes seeing what he posts
God, it sounds lame when she says it, but it’s the truth. Lester Olympia has the prettiest instagram account Percy has ever seen, not that she’s seen many of them, but the point stands.
He posts a lot too! Only yesterday he posted three pictures, none of them were of himself. Which is a shame because Percy would like to print one out and put it on her school binder, maybe have one for her wallet
Anyway, Lester likes posting on instagram a lot and Percy likes him a lot more, so she made an account to see his. She thought it was a bit embarrassing but now, with Annabeth looking at her as if she grew a second head for the sole purpose of making out with it, Percy is wondering if maybe she’s being a bit weird
“You made an account to stalk Lester? Your Lester?” Asked Annabeth in a bewildered tone
Percy's Lester actually has a nice ring to it—
Cutting off the pleasant trail of thought, Percy said “Yeah, I did, is it weird?” she asked, now feeling weird. Fuck, what if she committed some type of social faux pass she wasn't around to know it was even a thing?
“It is” Yep, there goes Percy's fears coming true, maybe she’ll get dumped because that's just what she deserves for being a weirdo “You made an actual account to stalk your boyfriend, people usually make fake accounts for that”
Tilting her head in confusion, Percy asked “What’s a fake account?” Do they, like, get a fake version of Instagram or something? If so, Percy is not going to do that. She was taught not to talk to strangers or click any weird links! She was also taught not to use the internet at all if she could help It, but that's besides the point
“It’s when you make an account with information that can’t be traced back to you. Something you didn't do, because you put your actual name, phone number and made it so your contacts could see it’s actually you in the account”
Annabeth is really good at giving “The reason you suck” speeches. Not once did she directly insult Percy and yet the girl is feeling like a Naruto villain
“So-”
And as if knowing what her friend was about to ask, Annabeth said “He can see it’s you stalking his account and since your account doesn't have anything it’s obvious that you made it to stalk him”
“So you’re saying I should post something?” Percy can do that. Well, she can as long as she sends them to her dad’s social media guy who’ll post that for her, but that's besides the point. Her father also said the dude will think up of hashtags for her, so one less thing to worry about
Rubbing her temples, Annabeth “Of course, that’s what you heard. Yeah, you should post something so you don't look like you made the account just to stalk him” while rolling those pretty gray eyes of hers
“What do you usually post on your Instagram?” Percy needs a point of reference, she's never done this before
“Study notes, Pictures of building which i liked the design, monuments, sometimes a selfie”
Percy’s notes are a mess, she doesn't have a single pretty picture of monuments much less buildings on her phone. But, she does have a phone with a camera and a face, so, selfies it is
There's only one problem with that little plan, Percy has never taken a selfie before. Does that make her sound Amish or like someone who grew up in one of those weird cults? Yes, but that's the truth. Up until two years ago, Percy Jackson did not own a phone, so how could she take a selfie? Exactly.
Her parents also firmly believed in no screen time, back in Greece the only thing Percy could watch in the Vila’s television room, outside of family movie nights, were the morning Cartoons! Then when the news started the maids would rush to turn off the TV then Percy would go play in the beach or hang out with one of her older siblings, maybe Nico and Bianca if they were visiting. Surprisingly enough, Uncle Hades firmly believes in cousin unity, at the least she thinks so if the way he was always sending his kids to go play with Percy is anything to go by
Anyway, Percy has never taken a selfie before, but she does know someone who’s always taking them and may agree to help if she begs pretty enough, and brings over that box of Swiss chocolate Rhode brought back from Switzerland
That's how she found herself sitting on Silena’s bed as the older girl taught her Instagram 101
“Ok First things first, what is your niche?” Asked Silena
Tilting her head in confusion, Percy asked “Niche? Isn't instagram just about posting pictures?”
“Oh Percy, you sweet summer child and ignorant slut” Rude, but…accurate? How Silena knows Percy was born in the summer, the girl has no idea “A niche is simply the type of content you post, something to connect yourself with the person watching it
“Why would—”
“Look at Drew, she’s always posting selfies, sure, but her niche is make up” Silena pointed at Drew, who was sitting on her desk doing her makeup
“Is that why she's always using different colored eyeliners?
Looking up from where she was doing her eyeliner, Drew asked “Yeah, got a problem with that?”
Shaking her head, Percy said “No, it looks good on you. I really like the way you use pink eyeliner to make your eyes pop, not that you need to. You've got like the prettiest brown eyes i’ve ever seen”
“Really?” Drew asked, cheeks a bit red. Huh, she usually does her eyes before doing her blush, maybe she’s trying something different today.
Percy nodded “Yeah, you should try blue eyeliner too, i think it’d look great on you” blue is her favorite color and she knew for a fact Drew would look amazing in it
“Percy, stop flirting with my sister and pay attention” Silena rolled her eyes “Drew does makeup, that's her thing, i myself like to do fashion” then she struck a pose showing off her fancy loungewear “What do you like to do?
“I like to swim, i skateboard a lot too and i think i have a pretty good style”
“Ok then you’re going to post full body pictures showing your outfits, whenever you go to the skatepark have one of the boys record you for a bit, oh, and please take a picture with Luke at the least once”
“Why Luke?”
“Because you’re both hot”
While Percy is aware that she's pretty, that being a fact her family always made sure to hammer onto her head, being put in the same category of hot as Luke is a bit much. She welcomes the ego boost, but Luke? Really? Silena is too kind
Kicking her feet, Percy said “Do I really have to do all that? I just want to post enough so it doesn't look like i made my account to stalk Lester”
Shaking her head, Silena said “Yes, you need to make this look like a normal Instagram account and not something you made to stalk your boyfriend” then she picked up her phone and snapped a sudden picture of Percy “ Now let's see— what the fuck?”
That's such a comforting thing to hear right after someone snaps a picture of you, Percy thought sarcastically before saying “What’s wrong? Do I look that bad?”
“No! Why does this picture look staged?!” Silena sounded bewildered
Drew rolled her eyes, taking the phone from her older sister “God, you're so dramatic, lemme just— what the fuck?!” she practically yelled staring at the screen
Before Percy could ask what’s wrong with the photo, Annabeth walked into the room asking “Why is everyone yelling?” she was accompanied by Piper, both of them carrying the snacks they got from the vending machine down at the dorm’s common room
Already used to her sisters' antics, All Piper said was “Yeah, stop doing that before the dorm parent comes over” before sitting on her own bed and opening a pack of Gummy Bears
“Hey, give me some” Percy asked
As revenge for the last time, Piper picked up one gummy bear and said “ “Ok, open your mouth. I want to see if i can make this shot” jokes on her though, Percy is neither a coward nor a pussy
Opening her mouth, tongue out and everything, Percy said “Hit me with your best shot” without closing her mouth, maybe drooling a little
Piper did not hit her with her best shot, instead she just threw the whole pack at Percy's face and said “Never do that face again!”
“Agreed” said the other girls, all looking a bit disturbed. Well, except Drew, she just looked red
Rude, thought Percy, rubbing her face and eating her Gummy Bears. Piper threw them on her face, which means they're hers now.
Desperately trying to change the subject, Annabeth asked “So, what were you guys yelling about when we got here?”
“I took a pic of Percy, just a quick snap, so tell me why this look staged” Said Silena, taking her phone from Drew and practically shoving it in Annabeth’s face
“She does look good, but maybe it’s a fluke? Try again, just to make sure” Suggested Annabeth, ever the science woman
What then proceeded to happen was what Percy could only describe as her first experience with the paparazzi. Only that instead of weirdos following her around with cameras because she’s famous, it’s her friends taking god knows how many pictures of her to see if she ever came out bad in one of them
Yawning as Piper took another picture of her, Percy laid her head on Silena's shoulder “I’m squinting a bit on this one, i think” she said, snuggling against the blue-eyed girl who decided to sit next to her in bed
Rolling her eyes, but making no move to push the younger girl off, Silena said “You’re staring at the camera with what can only be described as siren eyes. I’m happily taken yet if i saw this face calling me from the waves i’d happily jump to the bottom of the ocean” she could be weirdly poetic when she was annoyed, kind of like The Hulk, but a hotter version with less green explosive rage “Did anyone get any bad pictures of Percy?” She directed the question at everyone else in the room
Shaking her head, Piper sounded disgusted when she said “No, she looks good even when yawning” while showing the photo to her older sister,
Silena gave an appreciative hum at the image and said “Send that one to me” she instructed her little sister “Anyone else?” She asked Drew and Annabeth while Percy almost dozed off on her shoulder, now also hugging her waist
“No, pretty sure my camera roll is now full of Percy and not a single bad picture in sight” Said Annabeth, scrolling through her gallery “Even the ones i tried to make as blurry as possible still made her look good”
“This is witchcraft, in the olden days we’d be well within our rights to throw her in the fire” Said Drew, sounding a bit mean, but coming from her that's actually a great compliment “But since we’re not, whose soul did you sacrifice to achieve this? And can you do it again?”
Rolling her eyes from her place on Silena's shoulder, Percy said “I’m catholic. No sacrifice of souls here, i’m afraid” before continuing “Since you guys took so many pictures of me, can i be sent some so i have something to post on my Instagram?” It’s like they forgot why she's even here in the first place
With everything said and done, Percy managed to cover up being an internet stalker. On the downside, she now has to post at least twice a week on Instagram to keep up the facade of a normal account. Silena also posted that picture of the two of them together, which made Percy's account gain a lot more followers than she planned to. It’s not so bad though, having actual followers makes it all look more legitimate.
Speaking of followers, Percy didn't need to find the courage to follow Lester's account because, as soon as he found hers, he followed Percy's account and liked all the posts. Now their dates include him taking pictures of her and the only way she could be any happier would be if he also got in frame, but baby steps. Percy will get a picture to put in her school binder soon enough
She did have to turn off Instagram’s notifications, that thing never stops making noise and Percy has no idea how everyone else deals with it