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It should be common knowledge that there are just some words that are never really meant to be said, but with that being said, sometimes they just need to be heard, and this was a lesson Slade soon learned when he said three little words, thinking no one would ever hear him. It wasn't exactly uncommon for him and Alex to share a bed together, especially on nights like this where the two of them had shared an act one might only describe as intimate, and though Alex had seemingly long since fallen asleep, he couldn't have been as lucky. It was often nights like these that he found his mind racing with thoughts he knew he should have never been thinking about, and they always seemed to revolve around the man he was now sharing a bed with. It often seemed as though such thoughts seemed to occur more frequently than he'd like to admit these days. It was almost like a lingering high.
Many might consider thoughts about marriage, starting a family, romantic dinners, or even admitting to such feelings existing to be reasonable, but that just wasn't something Slade could allow for. It wasn't the type of man he was nor ever could be, but as he rolled onto his side and looked at the man that centered around his fantasies just for a moment, it all seemed possible. It was that overwhelming feeling of possibly that led to him making the mistake he did as he let those three little words slip away from him. It wasn't something he was ever supposed to say, but there was no denying the feeling of calmness that overtook him when he finally let those words out.
“I love you..” Slade whispered, moving just a bit closer as he settled in for the night. “I just needed to say it once.. I just needed you to know.”
“What did you just say to me?” Alex asked tiredly, taking Slade by surprise with the fact that he was in fact awake. “What did you..”
There was a reason some words were never supposed to be said, and the moment Alex responded to him, Slade knew that reason, and when no response came from him, the light was switched on, shedding light on the mistake he had made. There was no denying just how good Alex looked like this, how good he always looked like this, but right now that was something hard for Slade to face. He wasn't ready for it.
“What did you just say?” Alex repeated a bit more forcefully this time as he looked at Slade directly, recognizing the look of devastation on his face paired with the hesitance. “Slade.. answer me.”
“You weren't ever meant to hear that..” Slade explained, finding it difficult to speak as he realized what he had just done. “I didn't mean for you.. I just..”
“That doesn't change the fact that you said it.” Alex acknowledged, letting the silence fill the air until he spoke again. “Do you love me, Slade?”
It was there that Slade was left with a decision to make. He could either accept and admit the feelings he had or he could run away like he had been doing for so long, pretending like the feelings he had weren't there. It would be so easy, but he was tired of running. Some mistakes just aren't meant to be fixed, and this, this was one of them.
“Yeah.. Yeah, I do, and I have for a really long time.” Slade admitted, finding himself struggling to do so. “I don't want to make a big deal out of it, and I don't really want to talk about it.”
“You love me.” Alex reiterated in absolute disbelief, unable to stop himself from smiling as he said it. “I can't believe it..”
“I really don't want to talk about it—” Slade repeated, being abruptly cut off when he felt Alex wrapping his arms around him. “Alex..”
“I love you too.” Alex stated, not loosening the hold he had on Slade even the slightest. “I just.. I really need you to hear that.”
There were some words that were never meant to be said, but sometimes they just really needed to be heard, and it really felt good to finally be able to hear those words.