Work Text:
It’s too comfortable to get out of bed.
The sheets are soft, the blanket warm, the pillows cushy, and the mattress is the ideal medium firmness. Buck feels kind of like Goldilocks discovering the bed that’s ‘just right’ because he just wants to burrow down and stay in bed for another couple of hours. Or days. Hell, weeks might be nice if not for the whole needing to work thing. Keeping his eyes closed, he tries to piece together how he ended up sleeping in the perfect; he knows this isn’t his mattress because it doesn’t have the familiar indentations where it’s molded to his body over the years.
Before he can give it much thought, he feels a puff of air against his neck followed by the realization that someone’s sleeping beside him. There’s a leg lying over his left thigh, a warm foot pressed against his calf, an arm around his waist, a large palm on his right ribs, long fingers twitching slightly in sleep, and a firm chest pressed against his side. His right arm is wrapped around the sleeping man—because it’s definitely a man—and Buck feels warm skin against his fingers as he idly moves them.
There’s no rush of panic, no knot of anxiety that he went out and got drunk and picked up some random guy he doesn’t remember, just a feeling of contentment that makes him tighten his arm’s grip, holding the person he’s been cuddling during his sleep even closer. This isn’t a one-night stand that he met at a bar because, even when sleep dazed, he knows he hasn’t had sex. He isn’t hungover, either. Not to mention the fact that he’s so relaxed, something that isn’t likely with a random stranger he just met.
The daze is more painkiller than tequila shots, which means he probably got injured at work yesterday. Or is it still yesterday? No, that would mean it’s today because it’s not yesterday but still the same day. Unless it is today, the day after he worked, which would mean he did get injured yesterday, after all. What even is time anyway? It doesn’t make sense, but it does, so he thinks that must be what happened, but he isn’t sure. He’s having too many random thoughts to have been hurt too badly, not to mention the fact that this is definitely not a hospital bed. Not with a warm man cuddling him so tightly that Buck’s reluctant to fully wake up because he somehow knows the cuddles will stop. Hurt but not hospital hurt; it might be a concussion since he knows from experience that his brain is always a bit wacky after those.
There had been a house fire. One of the two story cookie cutter houses in a subdivision that light up so fast it’s like they’re made of kindling. A kid and a dog were missing when they arrived. He and Eddie went into the house. Buck remembers finding them, remembers handing the overweight Dachshund who kept licking his face to Eddie, and remembers bringing up the rear as they went downstairs. Things get fuzzy after that. There’re enough memories coming to mind to confirm he got hit with falling ceiling debris, that he’d been at the hospital and cleared, and he remembers getting painkillers because of a wrist sprain.
That means he must be at Eddie’s house. It makes sense why the bed is a perfect fit for him. It’s Eddie’s bed, and, really, Eddie makes him feel complete in every other way, so it’s logical that his bed is also the ideal sleeping spot. Of course, this being Eddie’s bed means that the man cuddling him must be Eddie, which explains the whole contentment thing Buck’s been feeling since waking up. Even while asleep, he subconsciously knows he’s safe with Eddie, that he’s being looked after, that he’s with someone he loves in ways he can’t even put into words.
Because that’s a thing now. Probably has been for years, but Buck only recently realized it, and he’s managed to keep it to himself for weeks. Considering his inability to keep things from Eddie, he’s pretty proud of himself for this achievement. Though he knows it’s only worked because he can tell Eddie he loves him, which is totally true, and Eddie just assumes he means it as a best friend and a partner. It’s a way to be completely honest and not hide things without actually being totally transparent. The key thing is that Buck isn’t lying to Eddie, and Eddie’s still clueless that he means it in ways beyond just friendship.
It's tempting to drift back to sleep. They’re off today, and they already had plans to go grocery shopping and stop by the hardware store for more paint, since Eddie’s been on a bit of a home renovation kick the last month. With Chris still being in El Paso and barely communicating, Buck’s relieved that Eddie’s actually dealing with his feelings and finding productive distractions instead of bottling everything up and pretending it’s all okay. Since his relationship with Tommy fizzled out, he’s had more time to help support Eddie and provide him with a safe space to just be whenever things get too overwhelming.
There’s movement beside him. Eddie shifts, his leg sliding across Buck’s, his body so warm that it’s like cuddling with a heater. Buck tends to run cold at night, so sharing a bed with Eddie during the lockdown had been some of the best sleep he’s ever had, which, knowing what he knows now about the whole ‘in love with Eddie’ thing, that probably also had something to do with it. There’s a damp spot on his t-shirt from where Eddie must have drooled, despite always denying that he does such a thing, fingers tugging at the shirt as Eddie starts to wake up.
When he feels Eddie’s hair against his jaw, Buck finally opens his eyes, blinking at the sunlight that’s filling the room. He hears a yawn followed by smacking lips, the grip around him tightening before becoming loose. They’ve shared a bed before, not just during quarantine, and they’ve never been the ‘no homo, broski’ type of guys, so Eddie doesn’t roll away quickly or scramble out of bed when he realizes he’s been cuddling up beside him and holding Buck like he’s a life-size teddy bear. Instead, he slowly moves his leg, his foot sliding down Buck’s calf past his socks.
“How do you feel this morning, cariño?” Eddie asks; his voice is low and raspy with sleep. “What time is it? I didn’t plan on sleeping so long, but I guess that I was more tired than I realized.”
“Dunno,” Buck mumbles, stroking Eddie’s shoulder lightly as he adjusts to the light. “Morning, I think. I feel a bit dazed, loopy from pain meds, but I’m alright. What happened?”
“The ceiling collapsed when we were evacuating,” Eddie says, rubbing his face against Buck’s t-shirt like a big cat. “The kid and the dog were safe, but you and I took a hit. Your left wrist is sprained, no concussion but a wound on your forehead, and some bruising on your back. I just got banged up a bit, nothing major. You got some good meds, though. You were extremely high when Hen drove us home from the station.”
“Ugh, I bet Gerrard loved that,” Buck groans, turning his head so he can rub his chin against the top of Eddie’s head. “You’d think a near death experience might lighten the guy up but trust his bigoted ass to be an exception to the norm.”
“Doctor’s orders, so he couldn’t really say anything, not that it stopped him,” Eddie says, his hand moving up and down Buck’s side in a lazy way. “We’ve got forty-eight off, though, so let’s not think about Captain Dipshit. How’s your head?”
“I’ve never had any complaints,” Buck says, snorting when Eddie huffs out a laugh. “Sorry, couldn’t resist. Seriously, it’s fine. I thought I might have had a concussion, so I’m glad I didn’t. It must have been the pain meds that made me so dazed this morning. Your bed is perfect, you know? I feel like Goldilocks.”
“Sounds like they’re still working,” Eddie says, finally raising his head to look at Buck. “How many fingers am I holding up?”
“None,” Buck says, dragging his hand down Eddie’s back and lightly pinching his hip when Eddie snickers. “Stop trying to confuse me, dumbass. I’m injured. You should be nice to me.”
“I had to help you change into sleep clothes and then had to try to get your socks on you while you kept wanting to touch your toes, so I’ve been nice,” Eddie says, holding his gaze. “It was worse than dealing with Chris when he was, like, six and had the flu. You’re such a big baby when you’re high on pain meds.”
As Eddie talks, Buck wiggles his toes in his warm socks and slowly smiles. “You hate messing with people’s feet,” Buck points out. “Toes creep you out.”
“Feet are just kind of gross,” Eddie agrees, grimacing in a way that makes him look ridiculously adorable.
“But you changed my socks,” Buck says, moving his foot against Eddie’s as if to show off the socks that he woke up wearing.
“You were too out of it to change them yourself,” Eddie reminds him, arching an eyebrow in a way that Buck’s never mastered. When he does it, both of his eyebrows usually go up, but Eddie’s skilled enough to only raise one at a time. It’s something else sexy about him, which just confirms to Buck how far gone he is over the guy.
“Why didn’t you just leave them off?” Buck asks, trying to imitate the eyebrow thing and failing badly based on the laugh that Eddie’s trying to hold back while looking at him. He pokes his side in retribution, which causes Eddie’s hand on his ribs to tighten slightly.
“Because your feet get cold at night?” Eddie gives him a ‘you’re acting weird, and I don’t quite know why’ look. “You always wear socks to bed, Buck.”
“I love you,” Buck says, his face starting to warm up as he flushes because he didn’t plan to say that, not in such a sincere tone. Eddie blinks at him, and he realizes what he’s done. “I mean, you’re my best friend, Eddie. I love you, dude. Cause we’re bros. Damn, I’m suddenly really hungry. I’ll get up and make us waffles this morning.”
“No, you’re not. Stop moving or I’ll have to pin you down,” Eddie says, putting his hand on Buck’s chest and pushing him back against the mattress when he tries to get up. When he straddles Buck’s waist and stares down at him, Buck stops wiggling and sighs, closing his eyes as he tries to prepare himself for whatever Eddie’s going to say. “Really, Buck? Bros? Dude? Did you hit your head too hard and get possessed by the spirit of Ted Theodore Logan?”
“Party on, dude,” Buck deadpans, his lips twitching slightly at the reference to the movie they watched last week. Opening his eyes, he finds Eddie staring intently, the look on his face closed off and unknown to Buck. It bothers him because he knows Eddie, he understands all of his expressions, and they communicate silently like the best partners in the world because that’s what they are, but, now, Eddie’s got this look he can’t translate, and Buck doesn’t like it.
“What did you mean, Buck?” Eddie asks, his tone serious. “You’ve been acting strange for weeks, you know? I doubt anyone else has noticed, but I’ve got a PhD in Buck Studies, so I’ve seen it. You’re almost sad at times, when you get this pensive look on your face, and then you’ll laugh it off like it hasn’t even been there. And you’re keeping something from me, aren’t you? Not lying about something, but not being completely honest, either. You get cagey and distant then overcompensate when you realize it. I’ve let it go because God only knows I’ve had my own odd moments recently, but something’s on your mind, and I’m ready for you to tell me what it is.”
“A PhD, huh? Is this when I’m supposed to make a doctor joke?” Buck asks, feeling conflicted because Eddie knows him, but also because Eddie sees him. He sees him, and he’s still here.
Everyone else in his life leaves him, even Maddie’s left him more than once, but Eddie’s always stayed, always kept their relationship going even when they didn’t work together anymore. Eddie looks at him and sees Buck for who he really is, the good and the bad and all the mess in between, and he wants to be here, to know what’s on Buck’s mind, and it’s more than a little overwhelming to have his entire focus on him and know nothing he ever does will drive Eddie away. Even being in love with him won’t change their closeness, won’t cause a rift, because what they have found, what they’ve made together, it’s special. It’s unconditional. It’s real and tangible and forever.
“I love you, Eddie,” Buck says finally, knowing that Eddie’s too stubborn to drop it once he’s reached a point where he knows something’s wrong and wants to be there to help Buck deal with whatever it is. It’s obvious that Eddie isn’t certain what Buck’s saying, so he smiles wryly. “As more than just my partner and my best friend, I mean. I’m in love with you, man, and I’ve been adjusting to that revelation the past few weeks, I guess. Sorry if I made things awkward. I thought I was doing a good job at keeping it to myself.”
“Oh.” Eddie blinks, his eyes widening slightly as he sits back, completely oblivious to the fact that this new position has his ass resting right against Buck’s crotch. Fortunately, he’s a bit too nervous to react right now, but he’s pretty sure that he’ll be bringing out the memory for Private Buck time later.
“Yeah, surprise,” Buck says, snorting as he tries not to move just in case his body decides to ignore the nervous energy in favor of reacting to Eddie’s current position. “Not sure when it happened, but it explains a lot, doesn’t it? I mean, I’ve been kind of committed to you and Chris for years, so it’s like I’ve been having physical affairs with the people I date since I’ve already been emotionally involved with you, and now that my head’s out of my ass, I know I’ve actually wanted everything with you all along. Kind of makes me the worst kind of cheater, in retrospect, because sex is never going to be better than what I already have with you, but I led myself and various people on because I was too damn stupid to know I’ve been in love with you all along.”
“I don’t think that would count as cheating, Buck,” Eddie points out, still looking rather dazed and uncertain. Buck can understand it since he went through it himself a couple of months back. Eddie tilts his head slightly, his lips pursing as he blinks at Buck. “You’re right, though. We’ve kind of been having an emotional affair for years, haven’t we? Everything except the sex. Jesus, no wonder I haven’t had any interest in dating unless someone’s forcing the issue. I’m going to choose you over anyone else, no contest, so how is that fair to anyone else?”
“We’ve been kind of dating all this time, too,” Buck says, holding Eddie’s gaze. “If you think about it, we’ve been a couple of idiots. But, I mean, I’m not telling you this because I expect anything. We’re partners, and I’m honestly good with that. You just asked what’s been on my mind, and it’s not like I could ever lie to you. I wasn’t planning to, like, seduce you or anything, either. I can be in love with you and still be your best friend. Nothing has to change.”
“What if I want it to change?” Eddie asks, looking slightly surprised by his own question. He bites his plump bottom lip, his teeth scraping against the scar there that Buck’s wanted to kiss since before he even knew he was bisexual.
Platonically kiss it, he’d always told himself, like the mole right under his eye and the inside of his wrist and, yeah, Buck’s fully aware he’s something even worse than a dumbass for not realizing he’s into men for so long. When Eddie’s lips slowly curve into an amused smile, Buck raises his gaze and realizes he got caught staring. Eddie’s cheeks are flushed a rosy pink, but he looks a little more confident than surprised. Buck blinks at him before proving just how super smart he is by asking, “Huh?”
“Is that a huh because you weren’t listening to me or a huh because you’re trying to process everything?” Eddie asks. “I know you can sometimes get overwhelmed and have too many thoughts to sort through, so I just wanted to clarify.”
“Bit of both,” Buck admits, smiling sheepishly. “I heard you, but I don’t think you said what I thought you said, and, yeah, overwhelming because my head’s still a bit loopy, and you’re really hot, like smoke show times a thousand even with bedhead and morning breath, so that’s distracting me, too.”
The flush seems to get worse, a darker shade of pink now covering Eddie’s face and neck. Eddie’s cheeks plump up into squishy balls that Buck wants to nibble on, and he finds himself wondering if Eddie’s blush goes lower, his gaze dropping for a moment like he can somehow see through the tank top he’s wearing before sweeping back up to look into Eddie’s pretty brown eyes.
“How’s your wrist?” Eddie asks, reaching down to gently touch Buck’s left hand. “Do you need another dose of medication? I can make you some of that herbal tea Ravi gave you, if you want. I know you like drinking it when you don’t feel well.”
“It’s fine. It doesn’t really even hurt,” Buck says, holding Eddie’s gaze as he adjusts the wrist brace that Buck’s wearing. “No pain meds, they make me too loopy, but tea would be nice. You hate it, though. You said it tastes like potpourri smells, and you grumbled when Ravi was handing it out last month.”
“I didn’t say that I’d be drinking it, did I?” Eddie’s thumb is rubbing the skin above the wrist brace, back and forth in a comforting way. “I know you like it, so I have a box in the cabinet for you.” There’s a lock of hair falling across his forehead, curling above his eyebrow, and Buck’s fingers itch to touch it. Eddie licks his lips, straightening his shoulders before he says, “Since you’re not sure if you heard me say that you heard, I guess I should say it again. You said that nothing has to change, but maybe I want things to change, Buck.”
“Guess I don’t have a hearing problem, after all,” Buck says, shifting slightly on the bed. He pulls his legs up, his knees behind Eddie’s back as he pushes himself into a sitting position using his right hand. His moves definitely aren’t smooth and sexy right now, he feels a bit like a turtle trying to get off its shell, but he’s soon sitting up and much closer to Eddie. “How do you want things to change, Eddie?”
“Well, the thing is, I’m kind of in love with you, too, Buck.” Eddie smiles slightly as he leans forward. “I haven’t picked any kind of label, don’t really see the need, but I put some things together during the summer, and I had an epiphany of sorts. I loved Shannon, and I love you. Maybe there’s a label for falling in love with your best friend and wanting to kiss them, but I don’t really care about fitting into anymore boxes, you know? I’ve spent my life trying to fit, and it never really made me as happy as I know I could be if I just break the box and live the life that I want to live.”
“I’m pretty good at breaking things, if you want the help,” Buck offers, his lips twitching as Eddie huffs a laugh. “I’ve never been particularly fond of boxes anyway.” He leans in and rubs his nose against Eddie’s, raising his right hand and cupping Eddie’s jaw. “You still haven’t said how you want things to change, baby.”
In response, Eddie tilts his head and presses their lips together in a chaste kiss. It happens quickly, just a press of lips against his own, and then Eddie’s pulling back and blinking at him, looking gorgeous with his pink cheeks and open mouth. Then he leans forward again, and Buck moves, bumping his chin against Eddie’s mouth, laughing as they try again. The laughter fades when their mouths meet, the kiss more frantic, more demanding, not as hesitant and uncertain as the first one.
They kiss for a while. Buck loses count, too lost in the feel and taste of Eddie to care about time or numbers, each kiss shifting to another and another until they’re licking and biting and sucking, Eddie’s hands on his face, his fingers tangled into Eddie’s hair, his left hand resting on Eddie’s thigh because Buck keeps trying to touch Eddie with it before remembering his sprained wrist. Eventually, they pull apart, lips swollen and wet and tingling, panting breath as their foreheads press together, noses rubbing like they can’t stop touching now that this is apparently something they do.
“Does that answer your question?” Eddie finally asks, his thumb tracing the curve of Buck’s jaw as his other hand rests on his shoulder.
“Yep,” Buck says, popping the last letter like an obnoxious frat dude because he’s just that way, and Eddie loves him, is in love with him, so he can be himself without overanalyzing every action or overthinking things. Wiggling his toes, he grins as he leans back and looks at Eddie. “You should just marry me, Eddie. We’ve already been not-dating but dating for, like, six and a half years, so you should make an honest man out of me.”
“I think that honest man line only works if we’d been having sex all this time,” Eddie points out. “Which we haven’t because I wouldn’t forget kisses like that. I can’t believe we could have been doing this all these years. No regrets, so don’t give me that look. I’m just saying, we’re pretty fucking stupid, and I’m glad you said something before we wasted even more time.”
“It’s the socks,” Buck admits. “You put socks on me when I was being difficult because you know my feet get cold, and you’re creeped out by feet. That’s, like, the most romantic love declaration ever, Eddie. I couldn’t not say it after that. And I’m serious about marrying you. Maybe not right now, but I’m thinking it would be a good third date activity.”
“The socks,” Eddie repeats slowly, ducking his head and smiling. “I kind of wondered what made you blurt it out, but I didn’t think about the socks.” Looking back up, he arches his brow. “So, a wedding is a third date, huh? And here I thought I was guilty of moving too fast usually.”
“Well, see, it’s just logical,” Buck tells him. “Because boyfriends sound juvenile, we’re not in high school anymore, and we’re already partners, so people might not realize that means you’re mine, but fiancés make sure that everyone knows we belong to each other, and they can look but can’t touch. Really, it’s the most sensible thing to do, baby.”
“Oh, we’re being sensible, are we?” Eddie snorts, shaking his head but smiling. “I’d hate to be unreasonable, so, sure, I’ll marry you, Buck. But you have to ask me tomorrow when I know the pain meds are completely out of your system, and you’re not asking because you’re under the influence or because I put your socks on before putting you to bed.”
“I mean, if I were going to ask because of something like that, it would probably be due to the fact that you kissed me so well that my toes literally curled like I was in some teenage rom com,” Buck says, “not because your caretaking nature gets me horny. But it’s a deal. I’ll ask again tomorrow when you’re able to realize that I’m not asking because of my loopy pain med daze.”
“I don’t think your toes are the only thing that liked kissing me,” Eddie says, a sexy little smirk crossing his lips as he moves his hips a certain way that makes Buck’s breath catch. He looks far too smug as he leans down and kisses Buck’s cheek. “You know, you’ll have to take me on a first date if we’re going to reach the third.”
“Go out with me tonight,” Buck says, gripping Eddie’s hip with his hand and squeezing gently. “Sorry, that wasn’t asking, was it? Will you go out with me tonight? We can go to dinner and maybe see a movie. If we go out tomorrow, too, we could get married by the weekend.”
“You’re ridiculous,” Eddie says, rolling his eyes even as he smiles. “No wedding until Christopher’s home, so don’t get too far ahead of yourself, Buck. And, yes, I’ll go out with you tonight. We can have dinner and play it be ear, since we’re not sure how sore you’ll be after last night.”
“Maybe I am, but you love me anyway,” Buck says confidently, rolling his hips slightly and watching Eddie’s face. He likes how expressive he is, the way his eyes practically sparkle and the flush on his cheeks. “I told you, Eddie. I feel fine. I don’t need to rest.”
“That’s not what the doctor said, so I think I’ll listen to the guy with the medical degree instead of the guy who called himself Goldilocks,” Eddie says. “You do need your rest, so I’m going to go make you that smelly tea while you take a quick shower, sweetheart. A cold shower.”
“Engaged for, like, five minutes, and you’re already bossing me around,” Buck grumbles, unable to stop himself from grinning at Eddie. “Also, Goldilocks makes total sense because being with you is just right. The perfect fit, you know? Like I can be myself and know you’ve got my back and love me unconditionally. That you’re even in love with me, the same way I am with you.”
“Yeah, I know,” Eddie murmurs, kissing him gently. “We clicked almost from the start; it was like finding missing pieces that I didn’t even know were gone. You complete me, Buck. I’ve never been able to imagine my future without seeing you beside me. It just took me a while to figure out what meant.”
“Well, now we know,” Buck says, leaning in for a lingering kiss before he smiles, attempting a sweetly innocent smile that already has Eddie giving him a suspicious look. “Eddie, baby, with my wrist sprained, I’m not sure that I’ll be able to wash my back. Maybe you can help me with that?”
“Buck, I’m supposed to make you tea.” Eddie laughs, looking relaxed and happy and gorgeous. “Don’t bat your eyelashes at me, cariño. God, you’re going to take such advantage of the fact that I can’t resist you, aren’t you? Fine, I’ll help you shower, but no funny business.”
“Tea can wait,” Buck says smugly, stealing another kiss before following Eddie into the bathroom, eager to start this next chapter of their lives. They’re going to get married, get Chris back where he belongs, adopt some dogs and cats, have more kids, and grow old surrounded by people they love and the family they’ve chosen. Unlike Goldilocks, Buck knows in his gut that their story is going to end happily ever after.