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Ezra.
Hera’s voice faded into the background as the other overpowered it. No one else seemed to hear it, all of them looking intently at their captain and hanging on her every word.
Ezra.
He jumped, his eyes darting around quickly, trying to pinpoint where the voice was coming from. It was in his head, but it was all around him, too. Like the air itself was whispering in his ear. In the distance, he caught sight of… something. A silhouette that looked familiar, but flickered out of existence before he could process what it was.
“Ezra.”
Suddenly, he felt too many pairs of eyes on him. Hera, Sabine, and Zeb were all looking directly at him, waiting for him to respond.
“Care to join the briefing?” Hera asked
“Sorry.” Even as he said it, Ezra still couldn’t help but look past her, toward where that something had been just seconds ago. “I just… I thought I saw something.”
“This is your mission, Ezra,” Hera said. “I need your full attention.”
“You’ve got it,” Ezra said, trying to assure himself just as much as her. “Sorry.”
Hera nodded, apparently satisfied.
“First, you’ll slip into the system and study the Empire’s orbital defenses.”
Ezra.
His gaze snapped back to the place he’d seen that figure, Hera’s voice once again slipping away from his attention. But there was nothing out of the ordinary there.
But something was wrong. He could feel it, deep inside, like ice crystalizing in his stomach and crawling up his throat.
Ezra.
His breath hitched as he saw it again. That figure, forming right behind Hera only to vanish again.
Something touched his shoulder and he jumped, looking up to see Kanan beside him.
“Something wrong?”
Before his Master could even finish asking the question, Ezra was already shaking his head. Because nothing was wrong, it just all felt wrong.
“No,” he said, a tremor working its way into his voice. “I just thought I saw something or… someone.”
“The recon team leaves as soon as we’re loaded up,” Hera said, not noticing the brief exchange between the two other members of her crew. “Questions?”
“Is Admiral Thrawn there?” Sabine asked.
Ezra didn’t even hear Hera’s answer. That quiet… hissing or roaring sound filled his head again, the whispering voice accompanying it.
Ezra.
He flinched when he saw that flickering figure, blinking out of existence once again just as quickly as it had appeared. As he staggered into Kanan, his Master’s hand caught his arm.
“Ezra, what is it?” Kanan asked, actually sounding worried now.
In the corner of his eye, Ezra spotted a flicker of movement. Terror shot up his spine as he pointed and backed away, directly into Zeb.
“Kid?” Zeb asked, “you feeling alright?”
But Ezra barely heard him. His attention was fixed on the shadowy figure behind Zeb, two bright yellow eyes staring directly at him.
“There!” Ezra gasped. “Look!”
But it was too late. The figure was gone again.
“What am I looking at?” Zeb asked as he glanced back over his shoulder.
Ezra gritted his teeth in frustration. How could no one else see it? Why couldn’t Kanan sense that something wasn’t right? If he was the only one, then…
I’m kriffing losing it, Ezra thought, his chest tightening until he could barely breathe.
“You don’t look very good.”
Hera’s voice was a distant echo, fading in and out through the haze of Ezra’s panic. Something was wrong. Something was so, so wrong, and no one else could see it.
“Ezra, what do you see?”
Ezra!
Something heavy landed on his shoulder, squeezing tightly. A hand, possessive and dominating, forcing him to turn around until he found himself face to face with the monster that had been haunting his nightmares.
Maul.
Ezra screamed, staggering backwards as a dizzying rush flooded through his head. Darkness churned hungrily at the edges of his vision, swooping in as he fell and dragging him into its depths.
He gasped as he sat up, instincts already telling him to fight. To run. To do whatever it took to keep Maul away.
“Ezra, it’s okay.”
A hand rested on his knee as reality began to sink in. He was on the Ghost, in Kanan’s cabin. His Master sat beside him, his other hand gently settling on Ezra’s shoulder.
“You’re safe,” Kanan said, the calm anchor of his voice enough to keep the worst of Ezra’s panic at bay for now.
“You want to tell us what’s going on?” Hera asked. She stood with the rest of the crew, arrayed throughout the small room, all of them watching Ezra anxiously.
Ezra swallowed as he shrugged Kanan’s hands away. He slowly moved to the edge of the bunk, buying himself time before he had to answer. They wouldn’t believe him. He wasn’t even sure he believed it. But it was so real. Even now, he felt like he was being watched. Like Maul’s eyes were still on him, calculating and waiting for another chance to strike.
Finally, he couldn’t avoid it any longer. He rested his elbows on his knees, barely able to hold himself up through the exhaustion and fear.
“It was Maul,” he said, voice shaking as he spoke the Sith’s name.
“You mean, at the briefing?” Sabine asked. Just as Ezra had expected, she didn’t believe him. Of course she didn’t. It made no sense. And yet…
“I saw him,” Ezra insisted. He knew he had. There was no mistaking that voice now. Those eyes, the burned yellow of the dark side. “He said my name. He was right behind me.”
It was all Ezra could do not to turn his head and look behind him now. He was safe on the Ghost, with the entire crew between him and the outside world, and still he couldn’t shake the feeling that Maul could emerge from the shadows at any second like some creature out of a myth.
“Kid,” Zeb said, “I was standing next to you. There was no one else there.”
Ezra sighed in frustration, putting his head in his hands. He didn’t get it. None of them did. He knew what he’d seen, what he’d felt. And he also knew that it shouldn’t be possible. Maul couldn’t have found him here.
Could he?
“Maybe it was some kind of Force vision,” Hera suggested, sounding for all the world like she hoped that was the case. Ezra hoped so, too. That was better than the alternative.
“Maybe,” Kanan said, though he clearly wasn’t convinced.
“If you ask me, the kid’s just been working too hard,” Zeb said. Ezra held back a sigh of relief at his friend’s words. He just wanted to move past this. Whatever this was.
As Zeb left the room, Chopper made to follow. If you’re done with your nap, maybe you can help get ready for your mission, the droid chirped as he rolled out of the room.
“Chopper, stop it,” Hera chided.
But Ezra shook his head and stood up, glad that at least some of them were acting normal.
“He’s right,” Ezra said, trying to convince himself as much as any of them that he was fine. Because he was. Really. “Naptime’s over. I should get back to work.”
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Hera asked.
“Hera, I feel fine,” Ezra insisted. This time he almost believed it. “I just had a bad… something. No reason to stop the rebellion, right?”
He headed toward the door, waving for Sabine to follow him. She hesitated for a split second, then did. Once they were away from prying adult ears, she nudged his arm with her elbow.
“Are you really sure?” she asked, keeping her voice low enough that no one else would hear.
“Yeah,” Ezra said with a nod. “I’m fine.”
But as they made their way to weapons cache, Ezra’s hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
Whatever Maul had planned for him, it was far from over.
Sabine was bickering with Chopper when Ezra felt it again. The dread blossoming in the pit of his stomach, hardening into ice as a low, sinister laugh echoed in his ears.
And this time, when he saw the source of it, he knew it was real.
Maul was here, on Atollon, on the base, walking away from Ezra. His back was turned as if taunting him, showing how little of a threat he considered the Jedi to be.
Ezra’s heart leapt into his throat as he stared after the Sith. It wasn’t his imagination. It never had been.
He took off running, hand closing around his lightsaber. Single-minded fury drove his every step as he raced toward Maul. It was all going to end here. Today. Maul was never going to hurt them, or anyone else, again.
Ezra skidded to a halt in the middle of the landing field, looking around frantically. Maul had been here just seconds ago, almost in the very same spot where Ezra was standing now. His heart pounded as he slowly turned around, watching for any signs of Maul’s presence.
There.
Looking under a nearby A-Wing, he could see Maul’s legs. Hear that sinister laughter taunting him again. Ezra launched himself up over the ship, jumping from its hull and hurling himself at Maul. The Sith was caught off guard as Ezra slammed into him, knocking him down. Ezra pushed out a hand, flinging Maul into a stack of crates. Maul hit the ground with a grunt, dazed by the sudden blow to the head.
Good.
Ezra advanced on the Sith, his lightsaber clutched in one shaking hand. But before he got close enough, Sabine threw herself into his path. She grabbed his shoulders, practically shaking him as she tried to push him back.
“Ezra, wait!”
Kanan grabbed his arm, helping Sabine pull him back. Away from Maul. Away from the one chance Ezra might ever have to stop him.
“Let me go!” Ezra growled. He wrenched himself away from Kanan and Sabine, igniting his blade as he staggered furiously toward Maul.
He raised the blade over his head, still trembling as he did so. Finally, all of this was going to end.
“Ezra, stop!”
He barely heard the shout from behind him as he brought the blade down. It swung through the air until at last it carved into soft flesh. The weapon jolted in Ezra’s hands at the sudden resistance, but he continued to force the blade down. Maul screamed, his face contorting in pain. And Ezra didn’t care. He couldn’t kriffing care after everything Maul had put him through.
Strong hands closed around Ezra’s arms, pulling him back. He fought, plunging his saber deeper into Maul’s chest, but he couldn’t hold out as he was wrenched backward.
“Ezra!”
That was Kanan’s voice in his ear, urgent and terrified.
“It’s not Maul. Look at him!”
Ezra looked up to see Sabine kicking his lightsaber away before kneeling down beside Maul’s body, her fingers at his throat, checking for a pulse.
Except it wasn’t Maul.
All at once, Ezra stopped fighting. Kanan didn’t let go, but Ezra couldn’t have moved if he wanted to. He could only stand there, staring in horror as he processed what he was seeing.
The man lying slumped on the ground was one of their pilots. Ezra didn’t even know his name. The burning wound left by Ezra’s lightsaber carved down through the base of his neck and into his chest, ending in a large, gaping burn where Ezra had twisted the blade. He wasn’t breathing. And he could tell without Sabine even needing to say anything that he was gone, beyond hope of being revived.
“No.”
His voice was shaking, the word coming out in a pained whisper. Kanan’s hands were suddenly the only thing keeping him upright as his knees buckled and shook beneath him.
He’d just killed someone.
Murdered him.
But it was Maul. He’d seen Maul. Heard his voice. Felt him in the Force. It was him. Until it wasn’t.
“It was Maul.” His mouth was moving but the words felt like they were coming from somewhere else. “I saw him. It was Maul.”
His voice broke as he said the Sith’s name. This was Maul’s doing. It had to be. The Sith was getting inside his head somehow, making him see things.
“Ezra,” Kanan said. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
But it was a lie. Nothing could ever be okay now. He’d just kriffing killed someone.
Ezra wrenched himself free of Kanan’s grip and ran.
Ezra couldn’t stop shaking.
His feet had carried him instinctively back to the Ghost, where he’d holed up in the storage compartment in the cargo bay. He knew he’d be found here eventually, and that running had probably just made things worse for him, but he didn’t know how to care.
It was Maul, he thought as he pressed himself further into the corner. I know it was Maul.
But it wasn’t. Sabine and Kanan’s horrified reactions had been enough to tell him that.
He’d just murdered a near total stranger. That man was dead, and it was his fault.
Ezra stiffened when he heard the drone of voices in the cargo bay. He’d known this was coming. He couldn’t just kill someone and disappear after all. Sooner or later, the consequences of what he’d done were going to catch up with him.
The door opened to reveal Kanan standing over him. Ezra opened his mouth, but couldn’t bring himself to speak. He didn’t know what he could say, anyway.
“Ezra,” Kanan said, crouching down to put himself on Ezra’s level. “Everything’s gonna be okay, but I need you to come with me.”
Ezra’s gaze traveled downward, from his Master’s face to his hands. Rather, to the binders he held in his hands.
“I’m sorry,” Ezra said, his voice breaking. “I… I saw Maul. I know I saw him.”
“I know,” Kanan said. “But until we figure out what’s really going on, this is the best way to keep everyone safe. Including you.”
Ezra hesitated, pulling his knees tighter against his chest.
“I don’t have a choice here, Ezra,” Kanan said.
Neither of them did. That much was obvious. Slowly, Ezra extended his shaking hands. Kanan closed the binders around them as gently as he could. Ezra barely felt the cold metal as it pressed against his skin.
“Kanan,” Ezra said as they stood up, staring down at his cuffed hands. “What’s happening to me?”
“I don’t know,” Kanan told him. “But I’m going to find out. No one else is gonna get hurt.”
But Kanan couldn’t promise that. No one could. For all they knew, there was no way to stop this. Even now, Ezra could feel that chilling, unsettling presence crawling around inside him. Maybe it wasn’t Maul. Maybe it was just him.
Kanan kept his hand on Ezra’s shoulder as he led him off of the Ghost. It wasn’t lost on Ezra that Kanan could easily grab his arm and hold him back if he tried to run. Or if he tried to hurt anyone else.
“What’s going to happen to me?” Ezra asked, his voice small as Kanan led him across the landing field.
“They want to keep you on Phoenix Home for now,” Kanan said. In other words, keep him in a cell. The same place Fenn Rau had been locked up until he defected. “But I don’t know what comes next yet. I don’t think anyone knows.”
Ezra stayed quiet, staring down at the ground as he and Kanan walked toward the other ship. We don’t execute prisoners, he told himself. We don’t do things like that. We don’t.
When they reached Phoenix Home’s small detention block, Ezra stopped abruptly when he saw two people waiting for them. Wedge, and a girl about Ezra’s own age, who he only vaguely recognized. Shara… something? Both of them were pilots. They’d probably known the man Ezra killed. Could even have been his friends.
“It’s okay,” Kanan told him. “Command wants you guarded while you’re here. They know how good you are at escaping.”
Ezra had no plans to do that, but on some level, he guessed he understood. He just didn’t know how he’d be able to look either of them in the eye after he’d killed one of their own.
Once they were outside the cell, Kanan removed the binders. Ezra walked into the cell, squaring his shoulders and trying to stop his hands from shaking. But as the door field activated, he couldn’t help but flinch. Suddenly, all of this felt so much more real. He’d killed someone. He was here because everyone thought he was dangerous. And for all he knew, they were right.
“I have to go talk to Commander Sato,” Kanan told him. “He needs to understand what really happened.”
Ezra crossed his arms, dropping his gaze back to the floor. He didn’t even understand what really happened. And in the end, what did it even matter when someone was dead?
“Ezra,” Kanan said gently. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt anyone. Sato knows you, and I’m sure he knows that, too. This is just a precaution, and it won’t be forever. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Kanan, I…” Ezra trailed off, not even knowing what he wanted to say. There was nothing that would ever make this right. “Thank you.”
Once Kanan was gone, Ezra sank down onto the narrow bunk against the cell wall. He kept staring at the floor, avoiding looking at the two pilots who stood outside the door. But he could feel their eyes on him.
“What was his name?” he asked, his voice rough and tired.
For a long moment, Wedge and Shara said nothing. The silence was almost enough to make Ezra squirm. What right did he even have to be asking them anything?
“Li,” Wedge said at long last. The name weighed heavily on Ezra’s shoulders.
“Did he have any family?”
“A brother,” Wedge said. “Here, on the base. He’s a pilot, too. And –” Wedge’s hesitation told Ezra all he needed to know. There were kids, too. “And he had a son.”
Ezra’s fingers curled around the edge of the bunk, tightening until his knuckles went pale. He hadn’t just killed someone. He may have just orphaned a kid.
“Ezra, what happened?” Wedge asked. “You don’t just – you’re not someone who does things like that.”
“We’re not supposed to be questioning him,” Shara said.
“I’m not,” Wedge said. “I’m just… I’m confused.”
“So am I,” Ezra mumbled. He still couldn’t bring himself to look at either of them, but he didn’t need to. He could sense it as clear as anything. They were afraid of him. Even Wedge, who knew him, who wanted to believe he wasn’t a threat, was scared to be here. Shara was even more so. He wondered if they’d seen it happen. If they’d watched him stab their fellow pilot through the chest, nearly taking his head off.
The sickening shame only grew worse with every moment that he sat there, trying to pretend he was alone. Trying to pretend he didn’t hear Wedge and Shara talking to each other, even when they tried to make things less awkward by talking to him.
Ezra.
He gasped, looking up as his shoulders went stiff.
“What is it?” Shara asked, glancing around, almost as if she’d heard the voice too.
“Nothing,” Ezra said stiffly through gritted teeth.
It’s all in your head, he told himself. It’s not real.
Ezra.
He put his hands over his ears, as if that would do him any good. But he could still hear Maul’s voice, calling out to him.
Ezra.
And then he heard it. The telltale clank of metal against metal, in the pattern of Maul’s now familiar gait. This wasn’t in his head. Maul was here.
Ezra shot to his feet, heart pounding as he ran to the cell door and looked as far as he could down the corridor.
“Ezra,” Wedge said slowly, as if trying to placate a scared, trapped loth-cat. “Just stay calm and tell us what you think is happening.”
“You don’t hear it?” Ezra gasped. The sound was getting closer. With every clank, Ezra felt less like he could breathe as his fear downed out everything else.
Then the figure appeared right behind Wedge and Shara. Maul, his lightsaber in his hand, bright yellow eyes staring right into Ezra’s.
Ezra screamed and staggered backward, his knees giving out as they hit the edge of the bunk.
“Ezra, what’s going on?” Wedge asked.
“He’s here,” Ezra gasped. “He’s –”
Maul ignited his lightsaber. And Wedge and Shara still didn’t turn around. He was right behind them. They were in danger and they wouldn’t turn around.
“Don’t hurt them,” Ezra gasped. “Don’t –”
Maul raised his weapon, preparing to bring it down on Shara’s neck.
“No!”
Ezra lashed out frantically in the Force, sending everything in his path flying. Two bodies hit the wall with a thud. Wedge and Shara spared a brief glance at each other before Wedge picked himself up off the floor and deactivated the door field. He pulled a hypospray from his pocket and approached Ezra calmly, completely unaware of the danger that was right behind him.
“It’s okay, Ezra,” he said. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”
“Wedge, don’t,” Ezra gasped, backing away from his friend until there was nowhere left to go. “Just turn around. He’s right behind you.”
But it was clear Wedge wasn’t going to listen. This must have been Maul’s plan all along. To make sure no one would believe him.
“Please,” he said, his voice breaking as he turned his gaze to Maul. “Don’t hurt them. Don’t –”
He yelped as Wedge grabbed his arm. He tried to pull away, but he was trapped in the corner with no way out. Just as needle began to plunge into his skin just below his neck, Maul lunged forward. Ezra grabbed hold of Wedge’s shirt, shoving him out of the way just before Maul’s saber would have stabbed into his chest. Wedge grunted as he hit the wall again and dropped the hypospray. Ezra backed away, struggling to speak as he stared at Maul in horror.
Hands closed around Ezra’s arms from behind and he screamed again. On instinct, he shoved his elbow back, striking whoever had grabbed him. Shara fell to the floor again, gasping as her head struck the metal.
Ezra looked around frantically. He had to get out of here. Lead Maul away. He ran into the wall as he staggered out of the cell, but kept moving.
His knees shaking and buckling beneath him with every step, Ezra bolted from the ship. He didn’t even know where he was going, only that he had to run.
Kanan had just left the command center when his commlink went off. The second he heard it, he knew it had something to do with Ezra.
“What is it?” he asked as he answered.
“It’s Ezra,” Wedge said. “He was seeing Maul again.”
“I’ll be right there.”
“Kanan, wait,” Wedge interrupted. “He’s gone. I tried to sedate him after he attacked us and he got away.”
“Are you alright?” Kanan asked.
“We’re fine,” Wedge said. “Just banged up a bit. But Ezra… I managed to give him a partial dose before he got away. Shara tried to chase him down, and she said he made it past the boundary line.”
Kanan’s heart plummeted into the pit of his stomach. Not only was Ezra hallucinating, but he’d been drugged, and he was somewhere out the desert, in no state to keep track of where he was going. Wedge might have done him the courtesy of calling him first, but he’d have to inform Sato. Soon enough, people would be searching for Ezra, and if someone else found him first, they could get hurt. Or they could hurt Ezra if they thought he was a threat.
“I’m going to look for him,” Kanan said. “I need a head start before any other search parties go out.”
With that, Kanan shoved his commlink into his pocket and headed toward the landing field. The sooner he found Ezra, the sooner he could make sure the kid was safe.
Ezra had no idea where he was.
He hadn’t even realized he crossed the boundary until it was too late. And only now did he realize just how stupid he’d been. Running didn’t mean Maul would follow him. Wedge and Shara could be dead now, and if he’d just stayed on the ship, he might have been able to save them.
With the adrenaline of his escape wearing off, Ezra’s knees finally gave out. He stumbled, tripping over his own feet and collapsing. Pain jolted through his head as his jaw struck the ground. For a long moment, he just lay there, panting, scratching slowly at the sand.
What if he was tricking me again?
Ezra bit back a heavy sob at the thought. He barely knew what was real anymore. Maul was here one second, and then he wasn’t. Even out here, in the cold emptiness of the nighttime desert, he felt like he was being watched. Could hear a wordless whispering in the back of his head, relentless and menacing.
He’d murdered a man because he thought it was Maul. Hurt Wedge and Shara, maybe for nothing. Or maybe that was all real and they were dead while he was lying here, helpless, as Maul hunted him through the desert.
“Someone help,” he whispered as tears slowly made their way down his cheeks. “Kanan. I need you.”
At first, he didn’t recognize the sound of footsteps in the sand for what it was. When he finally did, he nearly began sobbing with relief.
Until he looked up.
Maul was walking toward him, eyes practically glowing in the darkness. Ezra gasped and sat up, the terror coursing through him giving him the strength to move again.
“No,” he murmured as he dragged himself backward, unable to think through how to stand up again. “You’re not here. You… you’re not real. None of it was real.”
“I am very real, apprentice,” Maul said as he came to a stop in front of Ezra. “Now, save us both the trouble and come with me.”
He reached out, extending his hand for Ezra to take. Offering him the chance to come willingly, without a struggle. For a long moment, Ezra stared up at him, wondering whether he was real or not. Then, he grabbed a handful of sand and threw it into Maul’s face.
The distraction bought Ezra just enough time to drag himself to his feet and turn to run. But Maul recovered quickly. His arms closed around Ezra’s chest, pinning his arms at his sides and dragging him back. Ezra strained against his hold, but couldn’t break free.
“Let go!” he screamed, his voice cracking from the panic. “Let –”
His voice was suddenly muffled as Maul’s hand slammed over his mouth, pinning the back of Ezra’s head against his shoulder. Ezra jerked his head to the side, trying to throw Maul’s hand off, but the Sith’s grip only tightened, fingers digging viciously into Ezra’s jaw.
“I was willing to let you come quietly,” Maul said, his voice a low, angry growl in Ezra’s ear. “But you are coming with me, one way or another.”
Ezra whimpered, his struggles growing weaker as he slowly realized just how hopeless it was. As Maul dragged him away, the only resistance Ezra could put up were small, pitiful kicks against the sand.
“That’s better,” Maul said, the smug satisfaction in his voice making Ezra nauseous. “Soon enough, you will learn to accept this.”
In the distance, Ezra could see the silhouette of Maul’s ship against the night sky. Dread overtook him as they drew closer.
Kanan. He sent his silent plea out into the Force, hoping his Master would sense something was wrong. Help me. Please, help.
But Kanan wasn’t here. No one was going to save him. And he couldn’t save himself.
All he could do was dig his heels ineffectually against the ground as Maul dragged him into the darkness.