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Days seem sometimes as if they’ll never end, Kaveh thinks.
It’s been a week since his attempt, and the days just get longer. Tighnari forbade him from working on any blueprints while he was recovering from his concussion, so Kaveh’s days were filled with nothing but sun that was too bright, the concerned and fragile words of his friends, and boredom.
But after the day, there was something he learned that he could always count on.
Alhaitham.
Alhaitham was the one thing he looked forward to at the end of the day, the only thing that was keeping him relatively sane while he was forced to rest. The first time he’d slept in Kaveh’s room was merely out of obligation, but over time it had become routine. Alhaitham would read a book out loud to soothe Kaveh’s anxiety and put him to sleep, then fall asleep in a chair.
Every night, Kaveh offered to let him sleep in the bed with him. Sometimes, he took him up on his offer, and he would fall asleep faster with Alhaitham’s arms wrapped around him to fit in his bed.
In a normal way, of course. Kaveh was just severely lacking physical comfort, and Alhaitham just so happened to be the nearest source of it. He was sure that if given the chance, the scribe would prefer his own room over Kaveh’s bed, but he didn’t dare bring the subject up in case Alhaitham was looking for an out.
He noticed that he always slept soundly as long as Alhaitham was near, much better than he normally slept. Perhaps it was the fact that he previously didn’t have someone monitoring his sleep schedule that kept his past nights full of restless sleep instead of comfortable like it was now.
Until one day, the sky was cloudy.
The moon did not rise like previous nights.
And Alhaitham did not show up.
It was… lonely. Kaveh hadn’t felt lonely in a couple of days. He didn’t like it, not one bit. It was lonely and hard to sleep, and Archons, he wanted Alhaitham back.
He stayed up far past a reasonable time. He imagined that he was working on blueprints, because he knew that keeping his mind busy would keep him awake for longer. And surely, if he stayed up, he would see the scribe walking into his room and be able to go to sleep faster.
Eventually, he heard the door shut. It was the dead of night, but Kaveh shot upright in his bed. He heard footsteps, walking towards his room. Alhaitham was back.
But then Alhaitham walked past his room, going into his own bedroom and shutting the door.
Oh.
He must’ve gotten tired of him.
A mental fog set in fast. How pitiful, he thought, to think that Alhaitham had wanted to spend time with him. He’d just been doing his assigned job! Simply watching over him like Tighnari had told him.
It only made sense. Alhaitham never just did things for people out of the goodness of his heart, he did things because he was selfish. Only when they affected him did he act.
Surrounded by thoughts of Alhaitham and his own mental darkness, Kaveh fell into a dreamless, restless sleep, just like before.
The next day was boring, just like always, but Kaveh felt worse than normal. His head throbbed from lack of rest and his concussion, only soothed when he closed his eyes. But he wouldn’t sleep during the day. He couldn’t.
Keeping up the appearance of stability would make his friends worry less.
Eventually, the day passed. Kaveh once again found himself in bed, waiting. He rolled onto his side, facing away from the door. If Alhaitham tried to come in, he didn’t want to see him. He knew that he would’ve begged him to stay.
Alhaitham stood in the doorframe, watching him silently. Kaveh didn’t move. He didn’t dare move until Alhaitham took a step in and asked, “Kaveh? Are you still awake?”
He pulled his knees up to his chest, signaling that he was, in fact, awake. Feigning annoyance to mask his sadness, he muttered, “You can go back to your room. You don’t need to stay with me just because Tighnari is telling you to.” He hugged his pillow tighter, trying not to let himself turn around and grab Alhaitham, pulling him into the bed with him so he could finally sleep again.
A moment passed, and Alhaitham sat down on the bed, looking down at Kaveh and placing a hand on his back. Immediately, Kaveh froze. No, no, don’t listen to whatever he’s going to say, his inner voice protested, He doesn’t want to be around you. Let him go.
“Tighnari didn’t tell me to do anything,” he clarified. “Did you assume that I was sleeping with you because it was a request?”
Yes. Why else would you sleep in the same bed as me? Why else would you try to make me feel comfortable, given the state of our relationship?
“When you came home late yesterday, you didn’t even check on me,” Kaveh said, voice beginning to catch in his throat. No, no, no, he was NOT going to cry over this. “You avoided me.”
“…Oh, Kaveh,” Alhaitham mumbled, “The Akedemiya kept me late, that’s all. I didn’t think you’d be worried about me.” His voice was soothing and soft, the tone Kaveh had grown so used to. “I thought that you’d be asleep by the time I got back.”
Kaveh shook his head, burying it deeper into Alhaitham’s chest to stop the tears from forming in the corners of his eyes. All his words were muffled, but he knew that the scribe would hear them anyway. His hearing was stupidly exceptional, after all. “I thought you’d gotten tired of sleeping with me…”
It was a stupid fear, but a reasonable one in Kaveh’s mind. Up until recently, he and Alhaitham had arguments daily that led him to believe that they really did hate each other.
But Alhaitham sighed, running his right hand through Kaveh’s hair. “I said that I wouldn’t leave you alone, didn’t I?” He reminded him, brushing strands of blonde hair behind the architect’s right ear.
His touch was soothing, one Kaveh had missed although it had been only a day since he’d felt it. He let himself relax, feeling tired and safe at last.
And so once again, Alhaitham was back in his rightful place: Kaveh’s bed, reading out loud while the other was lulled to sleep by his voice.
The sky was clear.
Everything was right once again.
And so rose the moon.