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Tails was no stranger to nightmares. He’d have one once every month or every week depending on where his mental health stood. With Cosmo’s return, he thought that they would be less frequent. Whatever god he and Sonic haven’t beaten to a pulp, however, laughed in his face and made them worse. It had been a month since her return and the nightmares were popping up more than usual, leading him to return to his destroyed sleeping schedule. Tails would try to sleep to the best of his ability, but while the nightmares seemed long to him, they were only a few minutes in real time.
One of the worst Tails would encounter was where he was in a straitjacket in a padded cell. His friends, Sonic and Amy, looking at him from the other side of the glass wearing the ultimate looks of pity. They were disappointed in him for making a Cosmo bot in the desperation of his grief. The nightmares followed the same vein of concept. Cosmo never came back and she was either a hallucination or a robot Tails had fooled himself into thinking was the real thing. Some of them ended with him being all alone just like he was before Sonic.
Tonight was different. Another hallucinogenic episode where he tried to point out that Cosmo was alive and that she was standing right next to him. Sonic and Amy did not look amused in the slightest.
“Tails! What is wrong with you?! Cosmo is dead! Why can’t you just accept it already?!” Amy had gotten up from her chair to slap the air Tails was gesturing at. His mind played it to where Cosmo was actually hit.
“Don’t you dare hurt her like that!” Tails lunged at Amy with his fangs bared but just before he could land on her, Sonic grabbed him. He writhed against the grip of his brother, growling like some rabid animal. Sonic stayed silent despite the claws ripping away at his gloves and a bit of his hands. Another straitjacket, another padded cell. The only difference was the fact that no one was on the other side. His second family had abandoned him, just like the first.
Tails slowly opened his eyes to see the room of his ceiling, barely. His vision was blurry and his pillow was wet. It didn’t take a three hundred IQ to realize what had happened. Getting out of his bed, he knew he wasn’t getting any sleep for the rest of the night. He opened the door and saw the door to Cosmo’s room. Why did those nightmares have to be so vivid? Realistic? Plausible? What if everything this past month has been just some glorified hallucination that his friends decided to go along with?
With a sigh, Tails shut the door behind him. He hadn’t told Cosmo about his nightmares, or anyone for that matter. The best excuse he could come up with was that he had just been having trouble sleeping. It wasn’t exactly a secret since that was how things used to be. He couldn’t help but stare at the door in front of him as if it was the most intimidating thing he’d come across. Cosmo would be asleep. Tails looked at his watch to see it was three in the morning. He wasn’t going to bother her, especially with something this stupid. Or maybe he just didn’t want to face the reality that he was crazy. That she was never really there in the first place.
The urge to just rush in and break down the door became stronger with every night. Why couldn’t Tails just accept the fact that she was back? That the one he loves the most was simply sound asleep and not atomized in the vacuum of space? He shook his head and hugged himself with his head hanging low. Right now, he wanted to go somewhere private so that he wouldn’t bother Cosmo with his repetitive depressive episodes. There was only one place private enough for him to get all of that out. He snuck to the front door as quietly as possible and took to the skies to a place he hasn’t visited in a while.
The thickest part of a forest was the most tranquil, private place Tails had the pleasure of discovering. Whenever Sonic or anything else bothered to an unhealthy degree, he would come here and just let it all out. Whether that be punching trees, screaming or crying it was a place where he would walk out feeling much better. The only time he had disturbed this area was when their grand space adventure was over.
In the middle of the peaceful clearing sat a gravestone with vines twisting up its sides and surrounded by a rainbow of flowers. Engraved on the top of it was an intricate rose with no thorns on its stem. ‘Cosmo’ was engraved at the bottom in cursive. Tails remembered when he made that gravestone. It was more or less a step to help him into grieving Cosmo, to help him realize that she was gone. All it did was serve to make his biggest failure much more apparent. Despite that fact, it helped him feel calmer in a weird way.
Tails walked over and curled up against the cold, hard stone and he started to sob. Everything in his life seemed to get taken away or leave him eventually, so what was the point? He was a freak, a failure. Someone who shouldn’t have even lived this long. Who should’ve died years ago when he was abandoned, but for some reason continued to survive. After Cosmo, he only got worse. Every adventure where they had just barely succeeded, Tails had needed a constant reminder as to why he needed to get better, smarter so that he wouldn’t fail them like he had Cosmo. His arms were crossed with scars from what he’d done to them. A punishment for failure and a reminder for perfection.
Something rustled in the trees, which caught Tails’ attention. He knew it wasn’t any small animal judging by how loud it was when he’d heard it.
“Who’s there?” He called out, looking around for any sign of shadow. A shadow emerged from the path he’d come from, to reveal it was Cosmo. She had been in the shadows, watching him silently.
“Tails?” Her voice was filled with worry, same with Sonic when he had found out about Tails’ motivation. Gaia, he hated how he could see the worry in their eyes and hear it in their voices because he didn’t deserve it. Why did they have to worry over someone who could very easily replace themselves so they didn’t have to deal with him anymore?
“What…are you doing out here?” Tails’ voice was weak as he asked his question.
“Well…I could ask the same.” A comforting smile played on Cosmo's lips. Ears flattening against his head, Tails laid it back down on the ground.
“Nightmare…” His voice was muffled, but Cosmo heard what he said. Saying nothing, she slowly approached him and sat down right next to him.
“You really missed me, didn’t you?” She said, reading her name engraved on the gravestone. It didn’t surprise her, after all, she had sacrificed herself.
“I’m sorry…” It was weak and raspy, but it could still be heard. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. You’re back and I still can’t believe it. Why do I even deserve-”
“Shh…” Cosmo reached down to rub Tails’ head. He wasn’t sure why she was even out here, why she was with him. Probably out of obligation. He wasn’t good enough for her. She deserved so much better than a two-tailed freak that constantly doubted himself. All of them did.
“I sometimes doubt whether or not I deserve you. Any of this new life.” Tails was shocked to hear her say that. She was so much better than him.
“That isn’t true…you deserve the best.”
“And I do have the best. Right here, next to me.” She wrapped her arm around him to pull him closer to her. “You know you shouldn’t doubt yourself. You’ve done amazing things,Tails. This planet, this entire universe has you to thank. They wouldn’t be here without you.”
Tails turned his head to look at her. “What did I do to-”
She cupped his cheeks in her hands. “So much. And no one is going anywhere Tails. No one is leaving you. We will stay with you no matter what.”
He lunged at Cosmo to hug her, tears still spilling from his eyes. “Thank you.”
She chuckled lightly, returning his embrace. “I will always be here for you Tails. How about we go home?” He nodded and she took his hand, leading him out of the forest.
They got back home without trouble. As they made their way to their respective rooms, Cosmo kept Tails’ hand in hers even while moving to her room.
“Cosmo?...” He wasn’t sure why she was leading him to her room.
She turned to look at him. “I don’t think you should be alone for the night, Tails. If you have another nightmare, I’ll be right there for you.” She opened her door and walked to her bed, laying down in it. She kept the blanket raised, a tired smile on her face. Hesitantly, Tails slowly took the invitation.
“If you ever have any more nightmares, please come to me. No matter what time it is, I will always be here to help you.” She placed a peck on his cheek and drifted off into sleep. Tails wanted to say something else, but kept it to himself. He smiled as he shifted closer to Cosmo, feeling sleep envelop him. He didn’t know when or how it happened, but Tails could swear he felt her arm wrap around him as he drifted off to sleep.