Work Text:
There was something about going to therapy that made it feel like a gargantuan task. Maybe it was the strange sense of isolation he felt on the train there. Everyone else was so... happy. It made him long for that sort of feeling, yet some part of him dreaded it.
It was a short walk from the station to the almost looming building. Its architecture didn't match anything else in the city, leaving its existence feeling almost unnatural... Akira shook the thought as he made his way inside
In the lobby, he was greeted by a familiar face. Beautiful brown hair fell just above his shoulders. Red eyes vacantly warm as they watched for any incoming patients. On his face, an almost permanent smile. The receptionist stood behind the desk, his name tag hard to make out yet somehow perfectly clear.
Akira felt his heart drop at the sight of him. A strange anxiety filled him as he approached. A sense of guilt choked him as the boy's smile softened into something more intimate.
"Kurusu-kun," His voice was sickly sweet. It felt... wrong. He couldn't explain it but there was something off in the way the boy presented himself. "You're a little early. The doctor is still seeing another patient right now, but you're free to take a seat if you'd like."
Akira silently nodded. He made his way to plush white seats and sunk himself into one. The sense of unease from before melted away as he stared at the ceiling. He was careful not to glance at the receptionist.
He wasn't sure how long it was before his name was called, but eventually that same pleasant voice broke through the haze. When he went with the doctor, he couldn't help but feel on edge.
Akira sat in the waiting room of Maruki's clinic feeling somewhat anxious. He watched as patients filtered in and out, all being greeted with the same bright smile.
There was something about the receptionist that Akira just couldn't place. Something almost achingly familiar about the boy.
It seemed like he was roughly his age... Had they gone to school together? No, that didn't seem right. Besides, Shujin wasn't so big that there were classmates he didn't know. That, and he was able to befriend most of the people he met there.
Maybe it was something else-
"Kurusu-kun," Maruki's voice derailed his train of thought. His eyes flicked to the receptionist before he went to see the doctor.
Akira felt... numb, maybe? He wasn't sure. Whatever it was, the feeling followed him into the clinic...
That didn't feel right.
Akira stopped at the receptionist's desk. He was met with a cheerful smile that twisted his inside in knots.
"Good afternoon Kurusu-kun," His voice was so sweet it made Akira sick. He wanted to turn around and leave, but something kept him rooted in place. "It's nice to see you. The doctor's still with his-"
"What's your name?" Akira blurted out before he could finish. The boy simply gave him a kind smile. "I mean, sorry to interrupt but... I see you a lot and I don't..." He trailed off.
Don't know was correct, though don't remember felt more accurate. He was almost certain he'd met the boy before, even if his description meant nothing to any of his friends.
"It's alright. Not many people care to ask about me," The boy seemed amused by the whole thing. Akira's stomach churned uncomfortably at the thought. Shouldn't he be more bothered that no one took the time to know him? "My name's Goro-"
"Kurusu-kun," The boy- Goro- stopped speaking the moment Maruki had started. Akira turned to him, disappointed and mildly confused. When did he have the time to be notified of Akira's arrival? Where was his other patient? The questions seemed to drift from his mind as he was called into the doctor's office.
Despite his best efforts, Akira was unable to stop thinking about Goro. Everything about him felt so achingly familiar that he swore he was going insane.
"You seem troubled today Kurusu-kun," Goro said with no small amount of concern.
"That's why I'm here, right?" Akira tried to play off the question with a small chuckle, though Goro wasn't appeased.
"If there's anything I can do, please let me know."
"Right..." Akira considered going to the waiting area to sit. Something stopped him from doing so. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Go ahead."
"Where did you go to school?"
Goro's smile faltered slightly. "My school?" He stopped to think for a moment. The longer he did, the more uncomfortable he seemed to grow. "My school... I- Why can't I-" He cut himself off and shook his head.
"You don't have to-"
"No," The word held just enough force to make Akira flinch. Goto gave an apologetic smile. "Ah, it's fine. I'm just... having an off day I suppose," The nonchalance in his tone did little to cover up the genuine unease he felt. "It's just, I can't remember and... that feels strange. I... I think I should talk to-"
"Kurusu-kun," Once again, Maruki's voice silenced Goro completely. He walked into the lobby, apparently oblivious to the conversation he interrupted. "Are you ready for your session?"
When Akira entered the lab, Goro was all-
Wait, lab? It was a clinic. He mentally corrected himself as he entered.
Goro was smiling as usual, though it seemed more strained the closer he looked.
"Kurusu-kun," He greeted in a cheerful tone. He looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep the night prior. "How are you feeling today?"
"Okay," A bit of an overstatement. He hadn't really felt okay in a while. "How about you?"
"I'm doing wonderfully," Goro smiled so wide he thought his mouth might split. "Why do you ask?"
"You just look a little tired I guess."
"Tired? No, never! I could never be tired of helping patients," Goro leaned forward. "The doctor is seeing someone right now-"
"I know the drill," Akira made his way to the waiting area to sit. While there were plenty of magazines and other things to keep his attention, it was Goro that he was drawn to. He watched him type something on his computer. He watched him scribble a note and hand it off to a masked assistant...
Why did they wear masks? The question made Akira's head hurt. Luckily, the pain quickly subsided when Maruki came into the lobby
"Kurusu-kun, do you mind if I ask you a question?" Goro seemed... on edge. His eyes darted around the lobby nervously, making him look more like a patient than an employee.
"Uh, go ahead."
He leaned in and motioned for Akira to do the same. Curiosity drove him forward as leaned onto the counter.
In a hushed whisper, he asked, "Do you see them too?"
Akira was left no time to think about the question as Maruki made his way to the lobby immediately after. Goro straightened up and plastered a smile on his face, pretending as though nothing was wrong.
Goro was gone on Akira's next visit. He waited quietly in the lobby, trying not to think about where he'd gone.
He studied the walls to keep his mind clear. Black stripes decorated blinding white. The occasional splash of blue was thrown in on the claws of-
Cl̷a̷w̴s̸. Akira looked at the ḩ̵͕͗̈ạ̷̇̂͜n̴̝̖̕d̸̟̭́̈́s̴̯̮̅ that covered the walls. He tried not to feel sick.
The next time Akira came for his appointment, Goro was there and smiling, just as he always had.
Therapy was strange, though Akira found he didn't mind going. He entered the clinic, ready for a normal session when he saw the receptionist shaking behind the counter. Once he spotted Akira, he practically hopped over it to run to him.
"Kurusu," His voice shook. Akira tilted his head in confusion. "Something's wrong-"
"Goro... Are you feeling okay?"
"I- Listen-"
"Should I call the doctor for you?" It wasn't his job, but it felt like the right decision. Or, it did until he saw the fear in Goro's eyes.
It felt like ice water had been dumped on him as he abruptly regained his clarity. Goro was scared. Maybe of Maruki.
"I can't-" Goro backed away. At first, Akira thought he was looking at him. As he followed his gaze though, he realized he was looking at something behind him. He turned around to see... nothing. A fog settled in his mind. It didn't lift, even as he heard Goro's screams behind him.
When Akira came to his next appointment, Goro greeted him with a smile, just as he always had...
Akira sat in the waiting room. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen Goro frown before.
Akira waited in the lobby, trying his best not to focus on how forced Goro's smile seemed.
Akira sat in the lobby and-
"Kurusu," Goro's voice felt weak. It sounded faint. "Are you still there?"
"Hm?" He looked up at the boy. Something stirred in his chest as he saw the strange look on his face. "What do you mean?"
He never got his answer as Maruki quickly came to collect him.
When Akira came for his next appointment, Goro did not smile.
"Kurusu," Goro looked nervously around the waiting room. Had they done this before? He looked around too but only saw white walls. "Why did you want to know my name?"
"Hm?" Akira looked at him with a mild expression. He tried to think back but it all felt so hazy. Why did he want to know the receptionist's name? It's not like it really mattered-
He stopped that train of thought. Of course it mattered. "You matter to me."
The words slipped out though Akira couldn't find it in him to care. Something flickered in Goro's eyes. Disgust, anger, other emotions he couldn't name. It was quickly smothered by something else.
"Akechi," Goro said the name quietly. "My name is Goro Akechi."
In that moment, it felt as if the world shattered right before his eyes. Whatever illusion had been clouding his vision gave way to reveal a room full of black, writhing tentacles. Akira fell from his chair, earning a look of relief from Akechi.
"Joker," His voice was soft, fond almost, as he spoke the single word. Akira tried to reach out to him but was unable to before Maruki made his way to the lobby.
Akechi wasn't there for Akira's next appointment. It was a shame, he really wanted to apologize.
Akechi wasn't there for Akira's next appointment. Maruki said it was for the best. Seeing him would only make the ache in his chest that much worse.
Akechi wasn't there for Akira's next appointment.
Akechi wasn't there for the next one either.
Akechi wasn't there for-
Akechi wasn't there-
Akechi wasn't-
A̵̯͑͘͠k̵̡̹̝̇ȅ̵̖͖͔̩c̵͖̞̩͖̏h̵̛̹̏i̴̥̊͐̈-
Goro wasn't there the next time Akira came for his appointment.
Goro wasn't there... Akira was starting to forget his face.
Goro was gone...
Where did Goro go? Akira couldn't think much on the question before the doctor claimed him.
Akira wasn't sure when the last time he saw... What was his name again?
Wasn't there supposed to be someone to greet him when he entered the clinic?
Where was he?
Akira entered the clinic. The receptionist was nowhere to be found.
The next appointment
The next
Akira entered the clinic.
Akira entered the clinic.
Akira entered the clinic.
Akira entered the clinic for his appointment with the doctor... Did he have a name?
Ȃ̵̫k̶̮̪͘ȋ̴̗̫̄r̶̛̻a̸̳͛̈́
Akira entered the clinic for his appointment with the doctor. He walked to the front desk where he was greeted by the receptionist. Soft brown hair and even softer crimson eyes greeted him. A gentle smile sat on his face.
"Kurusu-kun," He looked just as he always had. "You're a little early-"
The boy's voice seemed to fade out. Akira simply smiled and nodded along, ignoring the feeling that this had happened before. Ignoring the feeling that he knew this boy. Ignoring the strange feelings of longing in his chest. He didn't need to dwell on any of it. All he had to do was tell the doctor, and the pain would go away for good.