Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Silco cut his mouth on the edge of his glass. Blood trickled down the rim. It was... frustrating. His hands were shaking. He was losing his nerve. He had no idea why he came here tonight. Why he kept coming back, full of words he wanted to say, and left never saying them.

The Last Drop. Vander's business venture since leaving the mines. Ostensibly a front for their real work: paving the way for the Nation of Zaun.

But they needed a front, and Vander... needed this. He looked happy pouring drinks, talking to everyone. Listening to their problems, fixing most of them in his own quiet way.

And then there was them. Whatever they were. Friends. Cohorts. Brothers-in-arms. They met down the mines, working alongside one another. Now they were trying to make life better in the Undercity one miracle at a time. And if his gaze sometimes lingered too long on his 'friend, cohort, and brother-in-arms'... who cared? The Cause came first. The Cause always came first.

Vander poured him another drink. Silco smiled and swigged it back. Vander returned his smile. Didn't say a word before pouring another. Didn't have to. Silco just raised his glass, dipped his head in thanks. Watched him return to his work. He liked watching his friend work. Had liked watching him work in the mines, too. Nothing had really changed. In those days... it felt like they never would.

Felicia came and told them the good news: she had a daughter on the way. They congratulated her. Felicia was a work friend they made down the mines, but she also shared in their vision for Zaun's future. Her good news reminded them what it was all for: the next generation, and all that would follow. It was never about them. It was about building a better future.

He kept stealing glances at Vander the whole night, because it was Vander he'd come to see, but... something Vander said while Felicia was there made him worry. That line about... 'what's the point if you can't have ankle biters of your own?' It was a nice sentiment on the surface, but... he couldn't help but feel it was a subtle dig at him, too. A kick in the leg.

Vander may have been devoted to the 'Cause,' and distracted by his new business now, but... the time would come when he would settle down and have kids, too. He loved kids and made no secret of wanting a family, but that wasn't something Silco could give him, so... he knew he would have to step out of the way, if he wanted to be a supportive friend. He also knew he couldn't feign brotherly disinterest while watching Vander fall in love with someone else from the sidelines.

He liked the way Vander looked at him. Smiled at him. His warmth. Always getting served first. He knew he had a possessive, jealous streak in him, and he knew that was selfish and wrong, but... he wasn't ready to lose the only person who really mattered. The only person who...

Vander held a cloth up to Silco's mouth. Just held it there, until the blood stopped. He had forgotten it was bleeding. It didn't even hurt.

"You hurt yourself? Careful..." Dabbed at the blood for a moment, then let go. "There."

Silco was still staring at him, startled. "It's nothing. Down in the mines..."

"I always see you."

Fortunately, Vander was called away to take care of another table before Silco had to think of a clever response. Shook his head, returned to his notes. Decided against saying anything at all. The Cause always comes first...

"He loves you, you know," Felicia said, because she still hadn't worked up the courage to go home and face Connol.

Silco scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous." He turned the page in his notebook, continued writing.

She twirled the straw around her orange juice. "And you love him. Can't understand why you two are always dancing around it. Everyone knows."

Silco glanced up from his notes, briefly. Studied the way Vander spoke to his patrons, laughing and smiling with such ease, across the bar. He had a way with people. Everything was... easy for him. People liked going to Vander, pouring their hearts out. He had the sort of face you could trust. Open, warm, everything clearly written on the surface. Nothing hidden underneath. He lowered his eyes and started writing again.

"What difference does it make? We have to concentrate on Zaun's future."

Felicia touched his arm and made him start. The ink ran up his page. He swore under his breath.

"What's a free Zaun for," she asked, "if we aren't allowed to be happy, too?"

"He would never..."

"Who?" Vander asked.

Neither friend heard him approach. Both froze, staring at eachother.

Felicia was the first to respond. She took Vander's hand, said: "Dance with me!"

Silco rolled his eyes. Vander looked confused, but played along. Circled to the other side of the bar, and danced with her to a song that had just come on the jukebox. He put it down to nerves or excitement over the baby. He didn't think she was flirting with him. Silco could tell she was flirting with him, but he also knew she was only doing it as a joke, to mock Silco. She loved Connol.

A few of the patrons clapped. It was not very busy that night, so they drew a modest crowd. Vander was surprisingly light on his feet for someone his size. They finally slowed down to a stop as the song changed to a less lively number. Not her speed at all.

"Hey Silco... you love this song!"

"No, I don't. And I decidely do not dance," Silco protested, doing his best to ignore his friends making a spectacle of themselves in public.

Felicia dragged him off his barstool, saying: "Yes you do, you know you do," before pushing him into Vander's chest. He quickly righted himself, looking indignant. "Why not try? Would you look at the time! Don't wanna keep Connol waiting!" She laughed again before abandoning Silco to his fate.

He watched her go with a sigh. When he looked back he found Vander holding an outstretched hand towards him.

"What are you...? Oh." Not knowing what else to do, he took Vander's hand, threading his slender fingers against Vander's thick, broad palms. He kept his hands wrapped.

The song was too slow. He was not convinced it would have been less humiliating if its tempo was faster. He had no idea how to dance. No idea where to put his hands or feet. Vander quickly realised this without needing to be told, and showed him the steps. Which was also humiliating. Silco kept staring at the floor, the wall, the ceiling, anywhere but Vander, as they started moving in narrow, tight circles. He followed Vander's lead and kept stepping on Vander's feet. "I'm sorry, I don't... we shouldn't..."

"It's alright. Just... look at me? When I go forward, you step back..."

"Why can't I lead?"

"You can lead next time."

Ego pascified, Silco eventually relaxed enough to stop watching his feet. Vander was right -- that helped. But he could only take staring up at Vander, being pressed this close while the jukebox crooned sickening, tawdry love songs for so long.

Thankfully, Vander was still working, so their lesson was cut mercifully short when he was called away to attend to some guests. Silco used the excuse to slink back to his work.

A few hours passed. After he'd sent the last patron home for the night, Vander dropped a key into Silco's opened notebook.

"What's this for?"

"My doors always open."

Silco looked up at him, surprised.

"Careful. You know what they say about stray cats and milk."

"Too late. You can stay the night if you want. This place is too big for me."

"Thanks. This counter was starting to look quite cozy..." he refolded his arms, began to lay his head back down.

"You don't have to sleep on the counter, Silco. I have a perfectly nice bedroom, with a perfectly nice bed. I was thinking we could share it."

Silco pushed himself upright, met Vander's eye. He had never been so direct before. Then again, he probably had to be after 'stay the night' went clean over Silco's head.

Dancing was one thing. Dancing was safe. Sleeping with your best friend... was dangerous. Fraught with perils. What if you stop being friends? "Being a landowner has changed you." 

"You think I own this place?" Vander laughed, but Silco could tell he was starting to lose the easy charm he put on for his patrons. He was nervous. Silco actually made him nervous. That was... new.

Silco closed his notebook, left the counter. Met Vander. Extended his left hand to touch the side of his face. He tensed, going completely still. A fascinating reaction. Silco wanted to test this further. He trailed his right hand down the long expanse of Vander's forearm. Strong, muscular, firm... everything he wasn't. Then he raised his chin to read the emotion in Vander's eyes. Steadfast, gentle, kind... everything he wasn't, but wanted in that moment. Vander stooped to meet him halfway as Silco pulled him down into a slow kiss. His lips were warm, rough. He smelled like the tobacco he smoked. It still wasn't close enough. Vander picked Silco up, set him down on the counter so it would be easier to keep kissing him. Janna. He'd been an idiot, hadn't he? Silco hooked an arm around Vander's neck, opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. Vander kept pace. Ran his hand up Silco's back.

It wasn't ten years of pining giving way to something wild and passionate. In Silco's dreams, that was usually how this usually goes. A lot of furniture gets broken, maybe a few bones. It was awkward at first, kissing someone you had been friends with for so many years. You have to rewrite the script. Figure out where the lines are, redraw them. Vander wrapped his hands around Silco's narrow waist, beard rough against his chin. Silco smiled, biting into the flesh of his lower lip. Dragging it. Opened his eyes to meet the sea of Vander's. Still warm, open. Silco leant back against his hands on the counter. Vander withdrew one to undo Silco's hairtie, let it fall across his shoulders. Closed his eyes and touched his forehead to Silco's. Breathed him in.

"Should I take that as a yes...?" Vander started to ask. Silco kissed him again before climbing down from the bar counter.

"Yes, Van. I want to stay." Silco offered his hand so Vander could lead them toward his room, down a connected hall.

As they made their way, Silco continued to be distracting, toying with the hair at the nape of Vander's neck. "Why didn't we do this sooner?" he wondered, trailing his hand further down Vander's back, the curve of his spine... he could feel the muscles tense even through his shirt.

"You were always playing hard to get!" Since when? Maybe Vander was wearing a blindfold in the mines. Or too busy working.

"I was always yours if you asked. You never asked."

"I didn't know, angel." Vander fumbled to open the door with his too-large hands. What a problem to have. Silco put his head against the wall, waited impatiently. Tried not to think too hard about Vander's hands. "Kept calling me brother... but you're closer than blood. Do you still have...? No, stupid question."

Silco showed him the scar across the palm of his hand anyway. It was a stupid question. It's not easy to get rid of scars. "Angel?" Silco echoed when the name finally hit. He did not look impressed. "Really? Have we met?"

Vander opened the door. Silco went inside first, inspected the bedroom. All their things were there. All the gifts he had given Vander over the years. Vander picked Silco up, carried him as if he weighed nothing at all, in the direction of the bed. Silco slung one arm around Vander's neck to support himself, and picked up a drawing off a sidetable that caught his eye as they passed. Early attempts at a logo for the Nation of Zaun he'd drawn. "You kept these?"

He shrugged. "They're yours." Dipped his head to kiss Silco between his neck and shoulder. The kisses travelled up his shoulder, his neck...

Silco smiled, chest flooding with warmth. Felt good to be remembered, wanted. Even when you're not around, to know someone held onto a piece of you. His own family never wanted him. He wanted everyone to know this. What it felt like to love and be loved. Wanted to make Vander feel the same love, same warmth, he felt now.

He let the drawing fall to the floor. Put both hands to either side of Vander's face, trusting he wouldn't drop him. Kissed his mouth as he pulled him, with as much force as he could exert over a titan, in the direction of the bed. Vander followed his lead, dropped them both on the bed. Silco wrapped his long, skinny legs around him.

"I love you," Silco hummed as Vander tightened the arms circling his waist.

"I know," Vander answered, meeting his gaze with warm eyes. "Love you, too. Even though you can be a real prick sometimes."

As if he didn't know. Silco laughed, and kissed him again. Kept kissing him. Vander put out the light.

Chapter Text

The Dream was everything, but revolutions don't happen overnight. They take time, care, work. Building a community.

Vander had already become the heart of that community. He knew how to connect to people, bring them together, had a gift for it. Silco was... the man with the vision. The orator. When he spoke, everyone listened.

Together, they managed to unite most of the Underground under one banner. Vander earned a name for himself as the Hound of the Underground. Silco... was still trying to make a name for himself. Although Vander was usually the one getting into fights, Silco got into a few scraps himself. Usually picking fights with Enforcers twice his size. That was how he earned himself a black eye and bloody nose when Vander found and picked him up off the street.

They took the long way home, scaling rooftops. Silco slipped up by accidentally letting on he was in pain. Vander insisted they stop so he could clean his wounds. Dabbed a bit of alcohol from his travelling flask across his wounded nose before holding it, in a makeshift compress, over his eye as they sat together, side by side. It always hurt Vander to see Silco like this.

"Don't start," Silco said, noticing the change in Vander's face before he had opened his mouth. He could never hide anything from Silco. He had always been an open book.

"What? That I'm worried about you?!" Now they were living in each other's pockets, he'd made the mistake of getting comfortable. Made it harder to make peace with the idea he might wake up one day, and not see Silco there. "I don't like how reckless you are."

Silco winced again. This time it wasn't from the alcohol. "If we don't fight back... who will?"

That was the problem. They made themselves too central to the Cause to fall back and let someone else take the stage.

"I don't want to lose you, Sil. Not to Enforcers, or Stillwater, or..." he couldn't say die.

"You won't lose me," Silco assured him. "I'm not going anywhere."

Then Silco leaned in and kissed him, even though they were outside, in public. He had stopped caring if anyone saw them. They had earned this. Vander kissed him back once the inital shock wore off. Felt him reach for his shirt, tug at the collar. Loosen it. Leaned in. Smiled.

"Good. I think I might have plans for you later..."

Silco pulled away. Angled his face upward, and pointed overhead. To what should have been a sky.

"They're blocking out our stars with their towers, so we have to make our own attractions. Anyone ever tell you about the stars in your eyes...?" Any chance he can take to monologue. Silco crossed his heels at the ankle as he leant back, supporting himself on the heel of one hand so he did not lose his footing on the uneven surface of the rooftop where they were sitting. He was such a languid, lanky thing. A street cat. Vander ran a hand up his leg. Searched his face, studying it in the darkness. Waiting for him to shut up so he could kiss him again, hand on his upper thigh. Eventually, he did. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate his compliments... he was just worried those stars he was seeing might also be the side effects of a concussion. He wanted to keep Silco close until they were home, and he could be certain he really was okay after that fight.

"Hey, Vander! Need you down here." Someone called from the street below them. It was Silco who cut short their kiss. Vander wanted to ignore them, go on pretending to be invisible.

He frowned, tucked an errant strand of hair behind Silco's ear. "Duty calls."

Silco offered a sympathetic smile. "There will be other rooftops."

Vander made his way down first. Silco followed close behind. It was not easy finding the right footpath in the dark, but they knew these Lanes like the back of their hands. Vander heard the familiar sound of Silco's boots connecting with solid ground behind him as he marched forward to meet the man who summoning him. An organizer with questions about the protest they were planning. It was an ambitious project: a protest against the violence Piltover used to quell seemingly any demonstrators, even peaceful ones, who spoke out against them. Silco followed, hovered just behind his shoulder. Listened to them talk, but remained silent. Just taking everything in, listening and planning. As they left, Vander turned to him, said:

"I can practically see the wheels in your head going round."

"You say that like it's a bad thing. Would the world be such a terrible place if more people thought before they spoke?"

Would it be so awful if you applied that caution to your actions? Vander bit back that criticism, knowing Silco wouldn't take it well.

Felicia swam up behind them, throwing an arm around both their backs. She was wearing a big grin. "How's it going, boys? Wanna buy me a drink?"

"Depends. Who's watching the kids tonight?"

"Hey, I'm allowed to drink now! Scouts promise, haven't had a kid in months! Give me a break."

"Drinks are on the house, then. Let's head back," Vander suggested. So they headed back together. Felicia filled them in on what they missed. Mostly the girls being little devils. They filled her in on what happened at the last meeting. Oh, and Silco getting in a punch-up. 

"I noticed! Big black eye, very dashing!" Felicia cooed, but her expression quickly melted into one of sympathy. "You okay, Sil? Can I do anything?"

He shook his head, self-consciously leaning away to hide the left side of his face, so as not to worry her. "Don't worry. Only hurts when I look."

When they got back to the Drop, he went to their room, changed. Felicia ran recovery, took a brush to his mangled hair seated on his bed.

It had not entirely escaped her notice that Silco had moved into Vander's room. Partially. "So you and Vander...?"

"Me and Vander," Silco repeated, giving thanks he had his back to her so she didn't have to see the panic on his face.

He was still getting used to the idea himself. It had never been a certain thing, but they had always been inseparable.

It felt... right. So they were exploring it. They didn't want to put a name on it, they were just... exploring.

"And you're... already living together? That's fast..."

"What about it?" Silco snapped, turning his head. Mistake, he hurt himself doing that. She tugged his hair when it caught on one of her rings. "Hey!"

"Nothing! Just... didn't see it coming, that's all." She shrugged, folded her legs and tucking them beside her on the bed. Started braiding his hair like hers.

"What do you mean, you didn't see it coming? You were the one who said everyone knew...!"

"That you love him, sure, but... Sil, you've always loved him! I didn't think you two would actually get your shit together. I mean... look at you!" Silco huffed. "You're all work, no play. Live and breathe Zaun. Not that there's anything wrong with that! I know how important your work is! I'm just... glad you finally have something that's... yours. For you." She set the hair back over his shoulder, delicately, in a fishbraid. Showed him his face in a looking glass. All he saw was the black eye. "What do you think? Always loved your hair, Sil." She set her chin down on his shoulder.

He frowned. He didn't think of Vander as separate from his work, or a distraction, given he was so involved...

"...Pretty. Has Van ever said anything to you about not wanting to fight anymore?"

"No. Never." Felicia shook her head. "Why? Did he...? Oh, Sil." She sat up, cupped his face between her hands. "Vander loves Zaun. He's always been one of the faithful. If he said something that got you nervous, I'd bet anything he's just scared, now he's finally got something to lose. That's what love does to people. Makes you scared shitless of every fight. I've felt that way ever since Vi was born. But I also know, if I stop fighting, if I let the fear win... Vi and Powder won't get a chance to live in a world where they, or their children, don't have to fight. That's what keeps me going."

Silco sighed. "You're a wise woman."

"I know. I should start charging." She kissed his cheek.

Vander opened the door holding a tankard. Only one. "Am I interrupting?"

"Was just leaving!" Felicia said, rising to her feet. She flit to the door and out it, past Vander who held it open for her. He headed to the bed and offered the drink.

Silco took a sip. "Tea in a tankard? Thanks." He must have thought it would be better for his patient than ale. Silco did not agree. "Could be more medicinal."

"Ah," Vander took out a silver flask, waved it. "Already two steps ahead of you." Topped off the tea with whisky, before swigging some of the flask himself.

Silco sipped his medicinal tea. Kept his eyes on Vander the entire time, where he was not seated at the edge of the bed. He moved closer.

"You look good," he said, running a hand over Silco's hair to inspect Fe's handiwork. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Been thinking about the protest. We still have a lot of preparations we need to make..."

Always working. He never stopped.

"Connol is taking care of if. You have the night off, remember?" Vander wrapped an arm around Silco's waist. Silco brought up one knee, leaned back into Vander's warmth as he took out his pipe. Filled and lit it. Watched it expire into blue fire. Hummed low to himself. "We both do."

It was like curling up next to a radiator. Silco closed his eyes.

"Good. But tomorrow..."

"We can change the world."

His eyes shot open again. "You still believe, don't you? In what we're doing."

"Course I do! You think I'm getting cold feet?" He passed the pipe to Silco. He smoked it slowly.

Returned it. "No. Never. How could I? You've been there from the start. Since day one. You've always been good to me, Van..."

"Because I believe in you. That's what you should remember, tomorrow, when you're leading that protest. Just remember, when you look out at that sea of faces... they wouldn't be standing there if they didn't believe in you, and the future we're building. Each face is a vote of condidence. Someone who shares our vision."

"You're... good at this. Speaking from the heart."

"It's all I've got."

"Hm." Silco liked his heart. He took the flask from Vander before he could have another swig. Drank that instead of his tea.

Vander took the tankard from him and set it on a sidetable, so it was out of the way. Then he cupped the side Silco's face, gently, with a large hand. Angled it up towards him.

That was the part Silco could never get his head around. How such a powerful, intimidating man could be so gentle.

Silco whet his lips. "What are you...?"

"Regarding you." 

A laugh. "Fuck off!"

He let go and Silco showed his teeth, like a dog.  

"Why are you so handsome?" Vander put an arm around either side of Silco's slender waist, so he could lean over him on the bed, hands digging into the sheets.

Silco leant back, eyes locked with his. "I... what are you doing...?" Vander kissed Silco. Rolled him into the wall with a thud. Silco took off Vander's jacket. Undid the vest beneath it. He wanted to get his hands on his chest, but he was wearing too many layers.

"What about Felicia and Connol? They're waiting for us..."

"I'm sure they can think of some way to pass the time," Silco wrapped a hand around Vander's wide neck and brought his head down, so their foreheads touched. So he could breathe him in. He still smelled like smoke.

♤♡◇♧

He had no idea how quickly it would all go up in flames. How easily Vander would fall through his fingers and turn on him. He was still grieving Felicia's death when Vander found him. He was still in shock. It wasn't bad enough that he blamed himself. Vander blamed him, too.

Grabbed him by the throat, to make it clear how he felt. Lifted him up off the docks. Tried to crush the life out of him. Rage changed him. Made him something new, something terrifying. Not the gentle man he remembered, but a monster. Day doesn't go by Silco doesn't remember how it felt to drown. Vander holding him down beneath the water as he struggling for life, water filling his lungs. A man he trusted. A man he loved. His brother. His friend. Face contorted by rage into something he no longer recognised.

And now he'd always wear his scars. Not just the one on his palm, but scars for all the world to see. He couldn't hide his eye, his face. He tells everyone, tells himself, he stepped out of that water a new man. A changed man. But you cannot amputate your past that easily.

Silco didn't want to hurt Vander, but he hurt him to survive. Drove a knife into his arm. Took his chances with the river. And now he has more scars than he can count because of Vander. One day, he'll correct the balance.

Chapter Text

Why was Silco back in the Last Drop 10 years later, dregging up skeletons? 

He had a business of his own now. Still found time to work towards his vision of an independent Zaun, but Vander had given up on visions and principles around the same time he gave up on Silco.

So why was Silco still cutting his mouth on Vander's cheap glass? Only he was too numb now to feel it or care when the blood came away on his fingers. He swirled the contents of the glass in his hand. Threw back the whiskey.

He'd already been waiting nearly two hours for the proprietor of the house to arrive. Time was, he never had to wait for Vander in the Last Drop. He was always served first. Sometimes Vander would even make the other guests wait for them, while they stole off to have a quick tryst. Or a not so quick tryst. They liked making important men in suits wait. And now... he was an important man in a suit. Maybe that was the problem. He wasn't Vander's type anymore.

He could still remember a time when he was Vander's type. When he pushed Vander up against the otherside of that locked storeroom door and made the Hound moan his name, rolling each syllable, so loud the girl working the counter dropped a plate, breaking two glasses. Van made him pay for it, the Miser, as if Silco hadn't been the one on his knees with his mouth full, quiet as a mouse. He smirked to himself. Stunts like that would be murder on his knees, now...

He cleared his throat when he realised Vander was standing over his table. He didn't look happy to see him. He didn't look angry, either, which was something. He did look... older. More distinguished. Gray in his hair. A beard. Of course he looked older. It had been 10 years. Vander had no difficulty recognising him, even with all his new scars.

"What are you doing here, Silco?"

"Join me," Silco insisted, kicking out the chair opposite him with the brass tip of his shoe. Vander didn't move. "Don't worry, I'm here on business. Enforcers are after your strays."

That got his attention. Vander took the chair and a swig of Silco's whisky. They'd shared worse. "What do you know about those children?"

"That's better." Silco pressed a cigar between his lips, raised a lighter to ignite the end. "They went Topside, made a lot of noise. Set off an explosion, causing considerable property damage... now you've got a target on your back. I can help."

"So I've heard. Hey, how long has it been since we last saw eachother? I thought you hated me!"

Silco leaned back, blew a smoke ring in his direction. Smiled with his lips closed.

"Oh, I do. But I think I should be the one to kill you—don't you?"

"If you only came here to threaten me or my children—!" Vander was starting to raise his voice, which was a dangerous sign, but Silco knew better than to make him angry.

He kept smoking, maintained a calm exterior. "I won't let anything happen to your children. We defend our own."

"Is defending Zaunites really the goal? What if your experiments kill them?" Silco tilt his head to one side, raised a brow. Vander was well-informed. "You're not the only one who has been keeping tabs on old friends." The longer he searched his former friend's face for some trace of the old Silco, the harder it became to see past that mutated eye. "If the Silco who made that promise to Felicia all those years ago is still in there somewhere..."

"If that is the man you want to speak to, perhaps you should have thought twice before killing him. Fortunately, I also have a vested interest in Zaun's future..."

"...Right. Think I'll take my chances with Enforcers over a dead man," Vander said before rising from his chair.

Silco felt the ground beginning to fall away from beneath his feet. Vander had betrayed him once. Tried to drown him. Disfigured him for life. He could forgive that. What he couldn't forgive was Vander choosing to side with Enforcers over him. A betrayal of his ideal. Everything Silco needed Vander to be.

He reached out, stopped him. "If you think your deal will protect them, you're wrong! They don't give a damn about our children. They'd flood our streets with chem-weapons and arrest the first four they find to make their betters happy. You know I'm right."

Their was that urgency again. A glimpse of the old Silco. "Do you really think...?"

"Let me help you."

"Why?"

"Do I need a reason to ruin Enforcers' day?" he let go of Vander. "Call this an armistice."

Vander shook his head. "Do you have any idea how long I waited for a letter, a message, anything, after I learned you were alive...?"

"No. It's too late for that. Stop changing the subject." He had to move. Vander just trailed after him like a lost sheep.

"I was disappointed to learn you were involved with Shimmer, but I understand what this city does to people... we all do ugly things to get by."

No, you really don't. Silco bit back a laugh. Turned on him, fuming: "Like make deals with Sheriff Grayson? No, I won't be talked down to by the likes of... you drowned me! Do you have any idea what that felt like?!"

Silco didn't regret getting 'involved with Shimmer.' It was the one thing that gave Zaunites a fighting chance against Piltover, with all their money and technological advantages. Against their Enforcers who could maim, kill, and imprison their people with impunity. 

"I thought you died that night! Made myself sick, missing you. Hating myself. Everywhere I looked, I saw your face."

"I was in your head?" was all Silco heard. "Good. What do you want? Pity?" Another laugh. "I still have nightmares about you!"

"You're always in my head." Vander raised his arm to show Silco the leather brace. "Still have this don't I?" Took it off to show him his scar.

Silco went quiet while he rethreaded it. "Do Felicia's children... rememember me?" He'd barely gotten to know them before she died. Always busy, always working. Thought there would be more time, but everyone thinks that.

"Don't think so. They don't remember much since their parents... and I don't press."

"Then neither will I." Silco knew well the way trauma ate away at memory.

He lent Vander and his whelps use of one of his safehouses, free of charge. Made a point of handing Vander the keys himself. Hoped this would be the reminder Vander needed who his friends were, when the time came to pick a side. He couldn't remain neutral forever, no matter what he preached. War was coming, and if he refused to stand with Zaun... he must stand against Zaun. 

Unfortunately, his kids were so loud the Enforcers combing the area found their new location after a few days, compromising a perfectly good safehouse. When Silco heard the news, he reached for his gun and started putting on his coat.

It put Sevika in hysterics. "With respect, sir, where the hell do you think you're going?!"

"Have to fix something. One of our safehouses is under attack."

"In those shoes? You pay me for a reason. Send me."

"It's Vander."

"He won't cry if he sees me, we aren't exactly exes. Where's the location?" Silco went quiet. That worried her. "Okay, maybe you do have history. You can explain on the way."

A nod. He was hardly going to refuse help. He needed her. They headed to the safehouse. Silco didn't explain anything beyond the basic facts of the case. Sevika was not happy to be sticking her neck out for Vander again, but was placated by Silco's justification they weren't doing this for him; they were proving Enforcers couldn't walk into Zaun and take their kids whenever they wanted. Not without a fight, anyway.

So Sevika would give them a fight. He released her as soon as they got to the safehouse. Took particular delight in watching her work. Fired off a few shots of his own before making his way discreetly through a secret entrance to warn those still inside. He startled the children. He must have cut a menacing figure, walking in brandishing a gun. 

"Vander! How awful to see you again—!" He was not given a chance to complete that sentence before Vander swept him into the next room.

"Did you tell those Enforcers where we were?" he asked in a low voice. As if it would matter how low they spoke if he had... did he think the children were listening at the door? Probably were, if they were anything like him at their age.

"What? No. Why would I help Enforcers? I'm not you."

"Did you at least bring reinforcements?"

"I brought Sevika." Vander looked confused. "What? She's strong as an ox. Better than an army. Besides, I have a plan. We hide the kids, make it look like we've all fled. Then, while they're busy chasing us..."

"Us?" Vander repeated, one brow raised.

Silco waved a hand, dismissively. "Stay with the kids if you must, but they stand a better chance getting out on their own. Sevika will collect them, take them somewhere safe..."

"Why should I trust you? After all these years, you haven't even tried to contact me!"

"Why should you...? I'm the one who will be getting shot at by Enforcers!"

"That's just it. Why stick your neck out for me?"

"I don't like Enforcers walking into my city whenever they want and arresting whoever they please. I want to teach them what happens to Enforcers who try."

That sounded like Silco he knew alright. Almost had Vander going, until he remembered the snake oil he was selling his beloved Zaunites to turn them into monsters.

"Your city?"

"My city."

"Huh. Alright, you have a deal."

Vander offered his hand. Any port in a storm. Silco took off one of his gloves, shook it.

They told the children where to hide, and where to look for Sevika when the coast was clear. They could trust her.

Silco armed Vander with a gun, since the house wasn't stocked with gauntlets, and handed Vander a map, told him to get familiar with it as he mentally planned an escape route. While Vander was occupied, Silco stepped aside to administer his daily dose of Shimmer. Tilted back his head and braced himself for the injection.

Silco must have made the map himself. Vander recognised his handwriting. It was strangely beautiful. Zaun was always beautiful in Silco's eyes. Even the most unremarkable backstreets...

"What are you doing?!" he cried when he saw Silco, voice spiking with concern. 

Silco grit his teeth, face darting out of the way of a misfired injection. "Can you please not distract me? This takes precision."

Vander saw a small glowing vial full of purple liquid on the deal table beside him. His concern quickly turned to anger. "...Is that Shimmer? Did you bring drugs into a house full of children? You're unbelievable," he took the bottle up off the table.

Silco ignored him as he raised the mechanism up over his eye, injected himself. Hissed at the pain which shot through his optic nerve. Relief, shortly, followed in a merciful flood. Once he had picked himself up and regained his composure, he told Vander: "I need it for the pain. For what you did to me. I'd be dead if it weren't for drugs like this. Now..." he held out his hand "are you going to make a sick man beg?" 

"I... didn't... think..."

"You never do. That's why you need me."

He was still holding out his hand. Vander returned the bottle. Silco pocketed it, turned away.

As he did, Vander placed a hand on his shoulder, making Silco recoil and snap: "Don't touch me, you animal!"

"Sorry! Sorry. Forgot. It... doesn't stop at your eye, does it?"

"I told you it doesn't. Warn me next time."

Right. Nightmares. Vander had heard stories about Silco, but it was different seeing for himself how much he'd changed. How much he hadn't.

"Does my face disgust you? You keep staring."

Silco usually covered up what scars he could with make-up when going out, or holding important meetings. What he could not hide was that blasted eye. The scars on his lip usually showed through, too. 

"No! No. It just... feels strange. Seeing you again."

"You don't... miss the way I was?"

"I..." Vander missed the way they were. Climbing rooftops with ease. Getting into fights. Laughing, drinking, scheming. The way Silco could made him feel like they were the only two people in the world when they were together. When he kissed him. When they were running from Enforcers. He was always passionate. Always brilliant. Even before he became the revolutionary leader everyone was looking for.

"I do, sometimes. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't waste so many years on you."

Silco was holding a large table lamp. Threw it, with as much force as he could, into a window. It just bounced off the glass. Vander easily picked it up and smashed it through the window. "After you!" 

"Easy for some," Silco said as he stepped over the frame and broken glass gingerly. "If I were built like an elephant..."

"You're welcome," Vander followed, and the two headed out into the street.

They made enough noise the Enforcers casing the house easily found them, which was exactly what they wanted.

Silco fired off several shots, reloaded. Killed a couple Enforcers before knocking one out cold with the butt of his gun. Put his heel to her throat before getting dragged off by Vander. He didn't want to kill any Enforcers, but they didn't have time to debate moral philosophy. All they needed to do was to lead them away from the safehouse, and by extension the children, then thoroughly lose them.

Silco caught sight of Sevika while they made their retreat and felt a wave of relief. Signaled for Vander to follow as he wove down one sidestreet after another, trying to lose the reinforcements sent after the first batch of Enforcers were all killed or knocked out.

It was nostalgic, fighting together again. Vander forgot his gun, landed an uppercut across one Enforcer's jaw that even made Silco beam with pride. Knocked him out cold with one hit.

They ended up at the docks, where they took cover. "I think we lost them," Vander said, gasping to catch his breath. Silco clamped a hand across his mouth and waited until the sound of Enforcer's boots marching past died down before releasing him.

"Now we've lost them," Silco corrected, before stepping back to cling to the wall.

Dusk was already beginning to set, and darkness settle over the docks.

Vander laughed, nervously. Ran a hand through sweat-soaked hair. "Just like old times, huh? You and me..."

Silco looked out over the docks, then down at the water beneath them. Familiar. Murky. Memories began to flood back. Tendrils extending out from those depths, like hands. Reaching for his feet...

Threatening to pull him under. He slid back a step, but already had his back against the wall. He turned and let out a pained yelp as Vander, face contorted by rage, reached for his throat, threatened to push him in. He took hold of the gun with both hands, held it level with Vander's chest. Silco's eyes widened with fear. "Don't come near me!"

"What are you... Silco? What's wrong?" Vander asked, reaching for him. He forgot his reaction in the safehouse.

Silco fired off a shot, but it went straight through the distorted Vander. The smoke tore through his face, bleeding into the sickly air. He could see the gas from the riot filling the sky around them, blotching out the light.

The bullet whistled just past the real Vander's right ear. "Silco! Stop firing! I don't want to hurt you! Shit... it's this place, isn't it? It does something to you. It's making you remember."

Vander tried to get hold of Silco's shoulders. He just wanted to disarm him, get the gun out of his hands. Silco thought he was attacking him. He managed to knock the gun free. It tumbled into the water with an audible thup!

With a growl, Silco leapt on Vander, both hands going for his shadowy throat. He wanted to get hold of it, keep it from slipping through his fingers. He dragged him down onto the floorboards of the pier with a loud huff.

"Silco! Silco, I know you're in there... can you hear me?" He could hear Vander's voice calling his name but it sounded distant, diluted. Like voices underwater. "I don't want to fight you!"

Silco kept wrestling Vander, trying to get his thumbs in his eyes. Trying to hurt him. It was pointless. Vander was obviously stronger than him, unarmed. Desperate, Silco wheeled them both over the edge of the pier and into the water below.

Both closed their eyes before they hit the water, but sank like rocks as soon as they could feel its burn. When they finally stopped sinking, Vander tightened his hold around Silco, who was clinging to him for dear life. The fear got hold of him and made him stop fighting. He went completely still. Vander swam back up to surface, trying to drag Silco up with him.

He dragged Silco up out of the water, then deposited him onto the pier. His clothes hung heavy against his skin, weighed down by river water. His eyes looked ahead, wide, staring.

"Why are you doing this?!"  Vander asked, still holding onto Silco, so he would stop shaking.

"You were the only person... I ever loved..." Silco coughed, "I would have done anything... to make you happy... and you... betrayed me," he stopped to catch his breath. "Broke my heart... a couple ribs... tried to drown me... made me feel so powerless... more powerless than I have ever felt before... but it taught me I would do whatever it took... anything... to never feel that powerless again... and when I met Singed..." he tightened his hold on Vander's arm.

Vander looked down at him, confused. Touched the side of his face. "Who?"

Silco's orange eye shone out in the darkness. He doesn't need to know about Singed. "I trusted you! Loved you! Had nothing, when I picked myself out of those waters... I'd lost my friends. Lost you... Nothing for it, except to start over... start new..."

"I never wanted this, Silco. I lost my head when I saw Felicia, didn't know what I was doing... I'm not going to ask for forgiveness. I know I don't deserve that. You don't deserve what I did to you. No one deserves what I...!" Vander started to cry. Buried his head in Silco's shoulder.

Silco was too weak to push him away, although his lips curled back with disgust. He still let Vander hold him. Hooked an arm around his back to steady him, as they slowly changed places. He felt ridiculous. Couldn't decide which of them looked more pathetic: the murderer weeping over their failed victim, or the victim nursing a broken heart like a rotten tooth that should have been pulled years ago.

Vander let go, pulled back. Found Silco still shivering from cold. Happens when you're thin as a rail. Took off his leather jacket, and wrapped it around Silco's narrow shoulders.

"Don't want you catching cold," Vander muttered quietly.

Silco was too tired to protest. Too weak to move or stand. Instead, let his head fall on Vander's shoulder. He let his eyes close. There would be no more murder attempts tonight. Maybe once his strength returned...

"Se... Se... Sevika... will be... looking for us..." he stuttered, chill still running through him.

"No she won't. You told her to take the kids somewhere safe, right? Sounds like wherever you sent her, she'll be waiting for us. There's no rush."

"...Right." Silco kept his eyes fixed on the water below. Felt an arm curl around his back. Vander wasn't trying anything. He wouldn't, if he valued his life. He was just supporting him. Silco's teeth kept chattering. He felt foolish. He had the perfect opportunity to get revenge after all these years... instead, he'd let Vander fish him out of the water and nurse him through a panic attack.

Janna... you're a mess, aren't you? Falling apart at the seams...

Eventually, Silco found the strength to stand up. Put a hand on Vander's shoulder. Said: "If you tell anyone what happened here... you're a dead man." It was hard to sound intimidating in his present condition. He tried his best.

Vander gave a slow nod, stood up just as Silco's hand left his shoulder. "Understood." And he did understand. Silco was an important man now. Part of being an important man meant ensuring no one knew you had any weak links in your armour. If anyone knew he was hallucinating and having panic attacks, they might use that against him. Vander might use that against him, pass it on to one of his Enforcers. They might use that information to take Silco down. Put him in Stillwater or a bullet through his head.

Who would blame Vander if he turned Silco over to Enforcers? Silco had threatened to kill him. But Vander had no intention of turning Silco over to anyone. However dangerous Silco had become, to himself or others... Vander knew he was the reason Silco was like this.

They headed back to the cannery, figuring that would be the first place Sevika went. Vi, Powder, Mylo, and Clagger were all there waiting for them. Vander was, naturally, overjoyed to see them. Sevika confirmed they had lost the Enforcers tailing them. Silco barely said a word. When Powder waved a toy gun in his direction, he pretended to fire his at her. Winked. It won a smile.

"Sir... what the hell happened back there?" Sevika asked once Vander and the kids had cleared out and everything was quiet again.

Back to normal. "Hm? Back where?" Silco replied, only half-listening.

"You're drenched in water and wearing Vander's jacket."

"We... had a fight. I tried to kill him," Silco explained.

"You realise how that doesn't answer my question?"

"I told you we had history." He collapsed into his chair, back thanking him the moment he did. He was no longer a young man. He stared down at the hand he so recently held around Vander's throat. The scar was still there. He could not look at that scar without thinking of Vander and deriving some small comfort from knowing Vander had one that matched.

Silco ran his hand down the soft leather arm of Vander's jacket. Remembered working alongside him in the mines. The easy way he'd throw his arm around your shoulder, call you his brother. Wearing his jacket to stay warm on cold nights, while you stayed up working late. He had forgotten to give it back before Vander left, but... he was still cold.

Sevika made a digusted noise and left. Fair.

He felt pretty digusted with himself.

Chapter Text

It was still dark when Silco paid Vander a visit. Vander went down to meet him holding a crowbar, assuming he was being burgled. He was surprised when Silco stepped out into a shaft of light. He lowered the crowbar, but didn't drop it.

"What are you doing here?!" Vander asked.

"I still have a key. You gave it to me. Remember?"

"You could have knocked!" Vander put down the crowbar. Pushed past Silco to look for a light.

Silco took a step back, clung to his shadows. "I'm not staying. I just wanted to return your jacket."

Vander managed to get the lantern working. Turned around to see Silco holding out the jacket.

"Don't you have people for that?"

"Yes, well... I considered setting it on fire..."

"Thanks for restraining your ire." Vander walked up to Silco, took back the old thing and tossed it across the top of a nearby chair.

It still felt strange seeing Silco again. Seeing the way he hurt him, etched into his face, made it hard to meet his eye without being hit by a pang of guilt, like a punch to the gut. But Silco had changed in other ways, too. How he held himself. How he spoke. He was not the same hungry young idealist Vander first met down the mines. He was a business man now. Confident, self-assured. He had grown sharper teeth, better defenses. Wore expensive suits and his hair slicked back now. He had always been an introvert, but he had worked to build-up and insulate his walls, brick by brick.

"You know, you weren't the only one learning how to be alone, after getting used to being part of a set," Vander began, swallowing the rock in his throat. "I thought you were the one, Silco. I never got over you."

Silco looked up at him, in the faltering light of that cheap lantern, suspicion and curiosity meeting somewhere in the middle. Because Vander's timing had always been bad, he chose that moment to reach out, take Silco's face in his hand, and angle it towards him. He looked like a deer in headlights.

"Don't think I ever will."

He must have been wearing something the other day to hide his scars. He wasn't, now. Probably thought he could just waltz in here, drop off that jacket, and leave. No long discussion, no drawn out goodbye. But Vander remembered what they said after he pulled Silco out of the river. How ridiculous they were being, always circling each other. Agonizing over the past. Neither of them could move on. He could hear it in Silco's voice that night. See it in his eyes, now. So why pretend?

"I missed you, Silco. Still miss you. And I think you miss me."

Silco lifted his head. "Presuming a lot, aren't you?"

Vander risked a smile. "Am I wrong?"

Silco's expression softened. "...No. I have missed you, Vander."

When he fell back a step, Vander fell with him. Put his free hand to Silco's shirtfront, imploring. "Stay. Please."

Silco parted his mouth, closed it. "There was a time when I would have accepted that invitation without hesitation, but... that time has passed. We had our chance, Vander. You know I can't...!"

Vander could. He closed the distance between them with a kiss, mouth blindly finding Silco's as he slot a hand over his ear, held him there. Silco neither kissed back, nor moved away. He went completely still. Vander realised too late it was from fear. Silco was afraid of him. That was the difference. Neither of them had moved on, but Vander wasn't having nightmares about getting murdered. No, not just nightmares. Memories.

Silco frowned. "Sevika was right. Coming back here was a mistake."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." hurt you? Why are we always hurting eachother? With our fists. With words. With knives.

"Why are you even... talking to me like this? What do you want me to say? That I still love you? Would it change anything?" Vander didn't have a response for that, so Silco turned on his heel, headed for the door. "No. I thought not."

Vander wanted to stop Silco, but he had no idea what to say.

"What do I have to do to show you I'm serious? End my deal with Grayson? Or... is that not enough? What kind of change did you have in mind?" He couldn't take his eyes off Silco as he turned back around to meet his own gaze and hold it—at least, he couldn't until he heard Vi calling for him from the next room. The sound of her voice made his eyes dart to the door.

Silco followed his line of sight, then closed his eyes. Sighed. He could tell where this was going. "Your children need you." They were both thinking the same thing, weren't they? Vander already had a family who loved him. Wasn't that enough? He already had something worth protecting. Something it would be foolish to throw away, for the sake of a low-born criminal with a nebulous future.

Silco made his way to the nearest window. Opened it with a gloved hand. He was too dramatic to walk out the front door. "I hope for your sake, we never see each other again. Goodbye, Vander. Forever."

Vander felt torn. He knew getting close to Silco would put him and his children in danger. He knew wanting Silco was selfish. He still wanted him. He couldn't risk letting what might be their last chance of reconcilliation slip through his fingers. Silco's left boot was already on the windowsill. Before he left, Vander cried:

"Wait!" one arm outstretched. Silco stopped, boot catching on the windowsill. He stumbled forward, raising one hand to catch himself on the window frame. Turned to look back at Vander, expectant. "I could introduce you to them. You'd like the kids. Powder, the youngest, has got a brilliant head on her shoulders, just like you... and Vi's great with her fists, a natural born leader... Mylo's already a skilled lockpick... Clagger's good with explosives, like Connol."

"Quite the family. I don't see any room for me in that picture, do you?"

"Would it kill you to come in and have one drink?"

Silco pulled closed the window with a sigh, and the soles of his boots returned to the floor. Then he walked back to Vander, and past him. Headed straight for the door. "It had better be a good drink."

Vander took Silco down to the bar, told him to pull up a chair. Went to check on Vi. When he returned, asked Silco what he wanted.

Silco leaned back, gazed up at the ceiling. "Ahh... surprise me?"

"Hm. A challenge." Silco usually drank whisky. Vander decided to make him a dark and stormy for a change that wouldn't be too jarring. As he did, Powder rushed in, tugged on his sleeve. Asked for a hot cocoa. "Sure thing, bright eyes." He ruffled her bright blue hair, told her to take a seat.

She climbed up onto the bar stool next to Silco.  Tilted her head to one side and asked Silco who he is. "A friend of your father."

"I'm Powder," she said before showing him her latest invention, and setting it down on the counter. She claimed it was the prototype for a bomb. It looked like a wind-up doll. He gave Vander a questioning look. Vander shrugged in answer, continued mixing drinks.

"Marvellous craftsmanship," Silco observed, taking it in hand and inspecting it briefly before setting it down and watching it whir and clap to life. It walked across the counter towards her. She caught it in her hand once it had, deactivated it. "Does it actually... go off?"

She shook her head no, sticking her tongue out to one side, to register her dismay over this.

"Oh well. One day, I'm sure."

Vander set a drink down in front of both of them. Powder could barely hold up the mug her cocoa was in, it was so large. She needed to use both hands. Then the barman leant, bodily, across the counter, while he awaited Silco's review. "So? What do you think...?"

Silco took a swig, considered it. "Good. Very good," he said as he savoured the taste. Then he cleared his throat, said: "Give me Grayson. Then I might start trusting you."

Vander's smile disappeared, and he fell back a step. "I thought you came here to see me, not kill Grayson."

"I won't give up on our dream just because you decided to play happy families." He took up Powder's wind-up toy when it made a second sojourn to his side of the counter, rescuing it from falling off the edge. Examine it further. Noticed the graffiti this time. Asked Powder: "Did you draw these designs yourself? You're quite the artist."

She nodded excitedly, beaming as her eyes danced between them. Silco nodded, before turning his attention back to Vander. Took another swig of his drink.

"You don't want to go to war because you would rather stay home, protect the four children that matter most to you... but what about all the other children in Zaun? The ones who have no parents, no one to protect them? I'm fighting for them."

"We wouldn't win a war against Piltover! They would destroy us. There would be nothing left but bodies," Vander warned.

"That's what they want us to think... but we're stronger than ever, and have a united front now. Besides, Shimmer has given us a chance. We could."

Vander looked surprised. "You think your monsters will help you win a war...? Can you even control them?"

Silco bit back a laugh. "Oh, Vander... they've made monsters of us all! Once they fear us... respect us..."

"I respected you!"

Silco's mouth became a thin line. The fact he was speaking in the past-tense did not escape his notice. That was what Silco had been trying to put together. How Vander could keep making these grand overtures, claiming to still feel the same way about him he felt then, when Silco did not feel he was the same man now he was back then.

"Could you ever love the man I've become? A man you don't even respect?" Silco wondered, hypothetically. "I know you would prefer me to stay as I was. The weak, powerless young man who wasn't ashamed to hide behind you during fights. But I'm not afraid anymore. I don't need protecting, or your affection, handed out like alms..."

"I never said you were weak," Vander replied, placing a hand on Silco's shoulder. "Anyway, what you lack in physical strength you more than make up for in—" He was going to say 'cunning.' He was trying to compliment him. He didn't get a chance.

Silco saw an opportunity and seized it. He raised his hand to strike his former friend. Vander caught hold of his arm by the wrist before he could land the blow. Flipped him over and laid him out flat across the counter, nearly dislodging and breaking his glass. Silco howled in pain as he did, heard something crack in his back. Powder reached out in time to save her cocoa as Vander put Silco in a chokehold. Silco groaned, threw his head back. Covered both Vander's wrists with his own hands, uselessly. He could not move.

Vi rushed into the room, hearing the noise. Went straight to her sister. "Why are you fighting in front of Powder?!"

"An old friend had one too many drinks and started behaving foolishly. Isn't that right?" Vander said into Silco's ear.

Silco showed his teeth in a half-snarl, but nodded along, wordlessly. Vander was still pinning him down. Vi grabbed Powder, who wanted to watch the fight, and dragged her into the next room, where Mylo and Clagger were waiting. As soon as they were gone, Vander released his hold on Silco, who gasped and sputtered for breath, reaching for his neck.

"Haven't lost your old strength. Impressive..." Silco eyed the cast iron gauntlets still hanging over the bar. "Do you ever...?"

"No." Vander poured Silco another drink, to replace the one he spilled. "And why, exactly, do you think I couldn't love a changed man? You think I could run a place like this and stay unaffected by everything I see? The corruption spreading like rot through this city? The dirt that comes off on your hands? It's killing our brothers and sisters, I know it is. You may think I've stopped caring, because I put up my gauntlets, but I have always wanted a free Zaun. Just because I won't pay for it in blood..."

Silco took a swig of his glass. Set it down hard. "Violence is the only language they understand. You can't talk to them. We've tried. They learned very quickly they can simply... ignore us. That's why I need Shimmer. With it, we can build an army they can't ignore."

"I don't want dirt on my hands. Don't want anymore blood on them, either. Sorry, Silco."

That seemed to bring Silco out of his head. He must have been imagining it.

"That's rich, coming from you," Silco muttered, still massaging his neck.

"At least I'm honest with myself! I know my limits."

"I don't want your honesty. I want something I can use." Silco threw aside his glass, watched it roll away. It stopped, without breaking, halfway down the counter, as anticlimactic as the incident with the lamp the other day. Vander tried again to touch his shoulder. Silco bat his hand away, then turned on Vander, orange eye gleaming. "Anger would be a start. Something to show me you're still alive."

He punched Vander in the jaw. Vander saw it coming a mile away, but took the hit. Figured Silco deserved that, after all he'd put him through. The next strike he blocked, as Silco launched himself at Vander's neck. Got up, and backed him into a corner. The next punch he threw on purpose. When Vander raised his left arm to block it, Silco took hold of his left arm, knowing it was vulnerable, and twisted it, before shoving him hard into a shelf lined with several rows of bottles. Vander smashed his head against the glass bottles, knocking them over. Several spilled onto the floor. Some simply cracked, and remained on their shelves, sharpened edges exposed.

"What's wrong? Afraid to fight back? Come on, Hound! Show me your teeth!" Silco cried, still trying to bait him. Vander groaned from the floor where he'd collapsed, threw back his head with his eyes closed. He had smashed his head harder into those bottles than Silco thought. His anger quickly dissolved into panic, as he fell to the floor, too, and reached out to cradle Vander's head in his hands. "No... I didn't... Vander? Vander! Can you hear me?" he snapped his fingers next to Vander's face. Blood was trickling down the back of his head, and down his neck. It came away onto Silco's hand.

"Got a mean... right hook..." Vander let out a weak laugh, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. One of the smashed bottles on a higher shelf was spilling wine on them. Silco couldn't care less about the wine or Vander laughing at him. He had actually hurt him. He lifted a hand to angle Vander's face toward him. "You can lie to them... lie to yourself... but I know you've got a good heart. You never lost that."

"I'll fix this... get you a doctor...!"

"I'll be alright. Don't worry."

It was too late. Silco knew what 'not worrying' did. He'd spoken to doctors, now he had money, who told him how much better his recovery would have been if he had been able to get his eye treated immediately. If he had not allowed the infection to fester. If he had the money and resources then he enjoyed now. Silco bent down to press a rushed kiss to Vander's brow. It wasn't for Vander. It was to steady his own nerves.

"You look... radiant!" Vander started humming a song, threw his head back. Silco had no idea which one. "Radioactive! Hah!"

"Good. You're delusional." Silco hooked an arm around his neck and brought him in so he could press their heads together. That won a weak smile. "Just stay awake, okay?" He had read somewhere that falling asleep with a concussion was dangerous. Felt Vander's arm wrap around his waist, loosely.

"We can't stay in the same room without someone drawing blood, can we?" Vander reeled Silco closer. Tried to kiss or bite his ear. Hard to say which. Silco swerved out of reach before he could. "You still think I'm in love with the old you...? You can hit me again if you want. Probably deserve it."

He winced in preparation, as if he sincerely thought Silco would. He was slurring his words. Silco shook his head, put one of Vander's arms over his shoulder, and put his own around his torso as he helped raise them both to their feet, using the counter for support. It wasn't easy. He tried anyway. Then he tried to lead him in the direction of the door.

"I'll take you to a doctor... will the children be safe here by themselves...?"

"Tell Vi," Vander murmurred, sleepily. "Had a fall..."

"The pink-haired one? Felicia's girl? She doesn't like me..."

"Can you blame her? Tell her she needs to hold down the fort 'til I'm back. She'll know what to do."

Silco nodded. Leant Vander against the counter, so he could pass on Vander's instructions to Vi. When he returned, he began carting Vander out into the streets, then through the Lanes, toward the cannery. Made it most of the way without a hitch, before getting intercepted by Ekko. Another one of their young friends. He couldn't work out why Vander had his arm around Silco's neck. Silco tried to fog him off with a story: they'd been drinking, talking shop about some business venture. Vander tried to help. He was not much help. As drunk as he looked, he also looked injured.

"You're not friends," Ekko pointed out. Like that needed pointing out. Vander coughed. Thankfully, Benzo called him away.

"We were. Once. Doesn't matter." They kept walking. "Why does every child in this city know you? Don't you have any friends your own age?"

"There was a time when children were more intrgral to your plans for Zaun's future than chem-barons."

"Oho, the gloves are off! If you want to call me a greedy bastard, go ahead. I can take it."

Sevika was the first person to greet them when they entered the cannery. She was as confused as Ekko why Silco was carrying Vander, and had just as many questions. Silco wasn't in the mood to answer them. "Where's Singed?" 

"In his lab." Sevika took Vander's other arm over her shoulder, and helped Silco drag him toward the lab. "You went back to see him. Told you you'd regret it."

"I wanted to say goodbye. We got in a fight, Vander got hurt..."

"And why waste a perfectly good soldier?" Sevika filled in herself. "You know how insane you sound when you talk about him? How insane you look, bringing him here?"

"You asked." He had no intention of turning Vander into a soldier against his will. Even Dekard was given a choice. He was not interested in recruiting unwilling allies. He wanted allies he could trust, not liabilities.

"He doesn't care about you, Silco, you already told me—!" 

"I was wrong. What's more important..." he glanced sidelong at Vander. "I don't want him to die."

Vander was starting to drift in and out of consciousness as they stumbled into Singed's lab. Silco touched his face. "Still with me, Van?"

Sevika and Silco deposited Vander on an operating table. Silco held onto his hand, threading their fingers together. Combed a hand through his hair. "Look at me."

"I'm here, Silco... it's not that bad, now... just feel lightheaded?"

"Good."

Silco immediately rose to his feet when Singed stepped into the room. Sevika stayed back. "Singed! There you are! I need your help."

Singed saw Vander on the table and recognised him at once, without needing any introduction. "Why have you brought him here?"

"He needs medical attention. He was... in a fight. Is there anything you can do...?"

"You want to save the man who betrayed you? Stole your eye?"

Silco opened his mouth. Closed it. Found himself at a rare loss of words.

Vander said: "Let it rest, Silco. Bringing me here was a mistake..."

"Yes. Fix him." Silco replied, ignoring Vander's protest.

"Very well." Singed gave Vander's wounds a brief, cursory examination, before departing to get his medical supplies. 

Silco had already pulled up a chair. Discarded his jacket and set it over the top, before taking back up Vander's hand in both of his. He ran his own thumb over the back of Silco's hand. Silco eventually pulled one hand away to card it through Vander's hair, and discreetly check his pulse.

"You two are making me sick," Sevika muttered from her corner, arms crossed. She was running short on patience.

"I usually appreciate your input, Sevika, but today I only need you here in case the doctor tries something."

Vander frowned. "What do you think the doctor is going to try...?" Silco didn't answer, but kept a hand on his shoulder so he could not sit up when Singed returned with a well-stocked tray.

He still managed to catch a glimpse of something purple as it rolled closer. That was enough to make his entire body tense. Vander's free arm shot out to clasp Silco's.

"Please, no Shimmer..." he demanded weakly.

Silco nodded. That was already understood. "Why do you think I'm here? I won't let anything happen to you, love."

"Your lack of faith in me is startling. Why bring him here if you don't trust my methods?" Singed admonished as he raised a syringe to the light.

"Because I know you're the best doctor in Zaun," Silco answered honestly. He wanted Vander to have the best care he could get in Zaun.

Singed glanced down at their joined hands. "Ah. Sentimentality always gets in the way of progress. I thought you'd learned to live without it. To put ambition first. Pity." He turned on Silco before he could answer, and stabbed him in the neck with the syringe. Silco reached out to grab a scalpal, blindly, from the tray of medical supplies, tried to bring it up to Singed's throat... but whatever was in that syringe hit first.

He collapsed, falling unconscious to the floor beside Vander's operating table. The scalpal also dropped to the floor with a loud clatter. Vander panicked, tried to get up from the table in a rage. Singed stepped over the Industrialist, who stared out before him, glassy-eyed.

"He could be a great man one day, if he only learned how to cut himself free from these... attachments of his. Chiefly, you." The doctor laughed to himself. "It always comes back to you, doesn't it? An obsession he never could shake, even when love turned to hate. But what is hate, but love in a different key?" Singed stabbed Vander next, in the back of his neck. It took longer to knock him out, but knocked him out just as easily. He dropped like a stone. He had none left for Sevika, who was already dragging her boss away. She put up both hands when he looked her way, dropped him.

"Don't even think about it, asshole! Just tell me: will he survive what you did to him?"

"He will sleep it off," Singed assured her in a pleasant voice.

She felt his pulse to be sure. Still had one. "He better, you rat." She picked Silco up and carried his body to a chair. Set him down as gently as she could, then stood guard over him. She didn't want a frontrow seat to whatever Singed was doing, but didn't like the idea of leaving Silco's body alone with that madman. She didn't trust the doctor, and couldn't understand why Silco did. 

He saved my eye. Saved me. Gave me Shimmer, Silco was always saying. Sevika could appreciate his gratitude. But a dangerous madman was still a dangerous madman. Why invite him to live in your house, and eat at your table?

And where did Silco keep finding these strays? Were they going to have to clear out another room for Vander? If Singed didn't finish him first, and save them all the trouble. She had a feeling Silco wouldn't like that.

Chapter Text

Vander was the first to wake up. Singed was already long gone by the time he did. Sevika had fallen asleep at her post, in a chair next to Silco's. They were both leaning propped against one another. Silco had his head tilted back. Vander got down from the operating table, stumbled over to Silco. Knelt down on his knees and extended a hand to lightly touch the side of his face. 

Silco snapped awake, wide-eyed, confused. Then he saw Vander in front of him, and his heart rate steadied. He fell forward, threw his arms around Vander's neck."You're alive!"

"That doctor of yours... the way he talked about you..." Vander whistled, reaching for the back of his head. He could feel the stitches there.

"Did he hurt you?" Silco asked as he examined Vander for any sign of new injuries. The pain didn't bother Vander, although there was pain. What felt wrong was how heightened his senses were now, including his awareness to pain. His awareness to everything. The blinking lights in that room. The way Silco's blood smelled. His own heart, hammering in his chest. Everything felt... heavy.

"He's the one who found you, isn't he?"

"Singed saved my life after the bridge. Saved my eye. His methods may be dubious, but... he's a genius. I thought he could help you."

Vander interrupted Silco's inspection with a kiss. Silco was surprised at first, but kissed him back. He smelled like those cigars he smoked, and tasted like whiskey. Then he kissed the side of his face, his ear, his hair where it had been singed short on one side around his scarring... He was just happy to still be alive. To see Silco again. He was afraid when that doctor put him under, he might never come back up. 

Silco ran a hand down his arm, turned it over. Started to undo the leather straps of the brace he always wore. He saw the glowing purple veins running up and down the muscles of his arm in branches of arching light, even before the brace gave way. Swore under his breath.

"Bastard used Shimmer, even though I told him not to." Silco turned his arm back over to check the other side. Vander let him.

A heavy knock came at the doors of the lab, waking Sevika. She took one look at Silco and Vander before going to answer it herself.

"Sir, the cannery is under attack!" she announced a few minutes later.

"What?!"

"Enforcers. Downstairs. I need to get you somewhere safe..."

"How many Enforcers?" Silco asked, but Sevika had no idea. If it was a small raid, they could wait it out in his office while his people took care of the problem. They headed there first, although it meant going through a factory now filled with toxic smoke. Sevika led the way, although she had the hardest time breathing. Silco and Vander were used to it.

As soon as they got to the office, Silco handed her an oxygen mask, then took to pacing, hands behind his back. They gave his people downstairs time to fight the Enforcers off. When it was clear the problem had not resolving itself, Sevika started scouring his office in search of weapons.

"Here," Silco tossed her a vial of Shimmer. She caught it in the air, easily. He warned: "Be careful."

The Shimmer he took every day was modified, diluted. Drinking undiluted Shimmer was still dangerous; no one knew the full extent of its effects. But it could be helpful when you found yourself backed into a corner and outnumbered by enemies.

Vander walked up to Sevika. "I want to help, too. What can I do?"

She passed him the vial of Shimmer to see how serious he was. "Stay here. I can trust you to protect Silco, right?" 

He looked down at the vial, uneasily. Felt the Shimmer already in his blood call to it. "I won't let anything happen to him," he promised, before holding up the vial. "How do you control it?" 

Sevika smirked. "You don't. Have to ride out that surge of power to the end. Centre yourself by thinking about whatever keeps you human. Never forget your focus. If you do... you're lost." She placed a hand on his shoulder, met his eye. "Take care of the boss."

He nodded. "I will." Watched her go.

Silco also turned to watch her leave, from where he stood leaning against his desk, arms crossed.

"Good luck out there, sister."

She raised one arm to salute him. "See you on the other side."

Silco dropped the confident act he put on for Sevika's sake once they were alone again. Let his face sink into his hands, visibly shaking.

Vander circled back to Silco, touched his arm. Silco winced at the touch. "This isn't your fight. You shouldn't even be here. If I had never brought you—!" 

"You did what you thought was right." Silco's hands sank to his side. Vander turned his over, so he could graze his nails up the exposed skin of Silco's forearm, where he had rolled his sleeves to the point just below his elbow, and made him shiver. "Hey... you said yourself Sevika's a one-woman army. We've got nothing to worry about," Vander reassured Silco, lifting his chin with one hand. "Do you think we could finally be happy? If we stayed here, locked that door..."

That made Silco laugh. "If we make it out of this alive...? Maybe. But I'm not abandoning them."

"Not asking you to. But worrying won't help them, either." Silco raised a hand, hooked it around Vander's thick neck. Vander closed his eyes, felt warmth pool in his stomach. Felt the Shimmer rise, responding to something in Silco. His former friend could be his focus. He'd always been there for him. Always supported him before their falling out. They could communicate without a word, develop a language all their own.

Vander took Silco's face in hand and kissed his mouth. He could taste the power surging through him on the tip of his tongue and teeth, sticking like salt or sugar. Pressed their forehead's together and heard Silco hum, and they were young again, transported back to the Last Drop. As if no time had passed at all. If Silco was his focus... he wanted to be something like that for Silco, too. A respite from all the anxiety in his life. 

"I won't let anyone hurt you," he promised, leaning across Silco as he walked him back, pressing his hip against the desk. Silco knocked over a few maps and empty cannisters before wrapping a leg around Vander's thigh when he finally picked him up, set him down on the edge. Silco helped Vander pull his shirt up over his head. Saw the purple veins covering his body gleam bright. A light in the dark of that office. Ran his hand along them, over his chest. Stopped over his heart. 

"Remarkable..." he murmurred, eyes wide. Including the one that couldn't blink. A cosmic disk of orange. It gleamed like a star against the inky black night sky of his sclera. He usually covered up his scars. He shouldn't have to. Vander took up his hand, brought it to his mouth so he could kiss the open palm.

"Why do you hide your scars for those Topsiders? You're beautiful," Vander said, when he finally figured out the catch on Silco's waistcoat. "They don't deserve you." Opened it, started undoing the first few buttons on the shirt beneath it.

Silco's expression softened. He looked past Vander at the door. "How long do you think we have...?"

"Long enough." Vander kissed his neck. "If anyone tries to get through that door, I'll kill them."

That made Silco pause. "Even if they're an Enforcer?"

"Yes."

"Vander..."

"I made a promise to Sevika. I won't let anyone hurt you." He had changed. Maybe it was just the Shimmer talking. Silco didn't care anymore, adrenaline overriding his reason. He didn't want to waste their last moments arguing. He pulled Vander back down onto the desk, knocking nearly everything else off it in the process to make room for him.

It didn't take long for Enforcers to reach his office. When they did, Vander was waiting for them, already standing guard at the door. He tried to keep them at the entrance, but there were too many. They fired off a few bullets. Vander took them. They should have dropped him. They didn't. The Shimmer coursing through his blood wouldn't let him stop.

He could hear Silco cry: "No! Stop!" as the second, then third bullet ripped through his torso in quick succession. Missing any vital organs, but still slowing him down. He killed one of the Enforcers who had been holding the gun, rushed up to them with inhuman speed and snatched them by the throat, before snapping their neck. He was still gloating over their death when he turned around and caught sight of an Enforcer holding Silco. He had let them slip past his barricade. He let out a pained howl as another Enforcer rammed a spear through his chest knocking him down.

He fell back, into the floor. He couldn't move. He found the vial of Shimmer Sevika gave him. It had fallen onto the floor nearby. He drank it so he could keep fighting. Tore the spear out from his chest. His body started to heal itself, regenerate around it. He grew taller and stronger, bones realigning painfully. It fed on the Shimmer already in his blood. He started tearing apart the remaining Enforcers in the room, cutting through them like they were made of paper. He carved his way to Silco's side, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake.

Then he grabbed hold of Silco, and nearly tore him apart, too, before remembering what Sevika told him: Never forget your focus. He set Silco down, hands still around his neck. Relaxed his hold. Removed them. Silco scanned the dead bodies scattered across his office, taking in the carnage, before turning back to Vander. Then he put a hand to his face, as if he hadn't just been seconds away from killing him, too. But there was no fear in his eyes, only sympathy. "You good, Van?"

Vander nodded, still shaking. "You... are... my... focus."

Silco blinked, confused. "Am I supposed to know what that means?"

"You help me stay human when..." he winced from the pain. "When it's hard."

He was still waiting for the Shimmer to settle in his blood. For his heart to stop racing, and the room to stop spinning. He closed his eyes, tried counting...

Silco caressed the side of his face. Vander leaned into Silco's touch, went quiet. "I'm keeping you human? What a terrifying thought."

Another nervous laugh. Silco grabbed a dagger and they left the office together. The door had already been torn away. Outside, they found things looked just as grim. They found Sevika alive but seriously injured, bleeding out. Silco wanted to stop and help her, but Vander broke rank to rush ahead. Silco apologised before chasing after him.

Vander found at the front of the factory Mylo, Clagger, and V. They all stared, frozen in fear, mouths open. Silco ran up to join them, put a hand to his back. "What are you doing here?" he asked, on Vander's behalf, just before Vander tore away, horrified by his own children's reaction to him. Silco let him go, knowing he would want him to take care of the children first. "You three should get out of here, it's not safe..."

Vi put down her foot, cried: "What have you done to him?!"

"Nothing! He chose this..." Silco tried to explain, but there wasn't time. He wanted to get back to Vander as soon as possible. 

"He would never choose this!" Vi shouted as she ran towards Silco, gauntlets raised, looking like a much younger, smaller Vander before she punched him across the face, in an uppercut. He reeled at the pain, but had no idea how to respond. He didn't want to hurt her, but he also didn't know how many more hits he could take while trying to reason with her.

"...Was it worth it?" he asked, words slurred slightly by his now bloodied nose. "Siding with Enforcers, after they killed your parents?"

The accusation made Vi hesitate. Then she struck him again, even more aggressively than the first blow, lips pulled back and teeth showing in a snarl. So they had sold him out. He never should have taken them here, revealed where they were manufacturing Shimmer.

Silco broke into a run, deeper into the factory. Vi followed him. "What do you know about my parents?!"

"We were friends!" Silco glided to a halt, then made a sharp turn down a winding hall... he may not have been a skilled fighter, but he knew how to run. "Vander... Felicia... Connol and I... we were friends. They died nobly, fighting for a better future." Another turn. This time he had to weave through an underpass, duck.

"Did you have anything to do with their deaths?" Vi asked. Her words affected him more than he liked. He started losing momentum. Came to a stop in one room. Took a chance and spun around to face her. 

"I was there the day they died. I couldn't save them. But Piltover is your enemy, not me." Vi crossed her gauntletted arms, defensively, to keep him as bay. As if he would hurt her. Vander would have his head. "You'd be wise to remember that, girl."

An explosion rocked the entire factory, making Silco forgot about the girl. As soon as it stopped, he pushed himself up off the ground, and started searching for Vander, even though it meant running toward the wall of flames, in the direction he had last seen him take. The scaffolding was falling apart and there were fallen floorboards scattered everywhere. He kept calling his name. "Vander! Vander!"

When he did finally emerge from the rubble, he looked addled by Shimmer and half eaten by flames. Ashes discoloured and burned his skin. His veins were glowing bright purple. He greeted Silco on a narrow bridge with a hand around the throat, lifted him up into the air so the tips of his shoes dangled over the bridge. He showed his teeth.

"Where... is... Violet...?"

"I don't know! I was with her when I heard the explosion..." 

He threw back his head, howled. A violent spasm ran through his body, made him convulse. Silco tried to reach for his shoulder, to either steady him or make him let go. He was reacting poorly to the Shimmer. It made him mistake Silco for another enemy. Eyes wide, breathless, Silco fought to defend himself, but Vander was stronger and larger than him. It was a feat just keeping himself from getting crushed or smothered. He bobbed and weaved out of the way of his next few strikes of his large, clawed hands.

"...Vander?!" Silco tried, but he was too far gone to see him. "Please... remember who you are... who I am...!"

Vander's next attack drew blood as his claws trailed across the side of Silco's face... only veering off course when Silco drove a dagger through Vander's abdomen and held it there. Twisted the blade. When he let go, Vander staggered back a few steps, holding his bleeding abdomen. Pulled out the dagger and cast it aside, off the bridge. Removing the dagger only made him bleed out rapidly.

Silco ran forward, crashing into Vander's shoulder, and buried his face in his neck as he stumbled forward, said: "I'm sorry, love... I never wanted this," before driving him off the side off the bridge, leading with his shoulder. They both fell, but Vander softened the landing for Silco. It only left him shaken, curled up against his side.

Everything was still burning and falling apart around them where they lay, in the middle of that death trap. Silco ran a hand down the side of Vander's face as he unfurled himself. He lay motionless, completely still. He was dead, now. Silco would die, too, if he stayed too long down here. He kissed his forehead. "Looks like I'm still cursed. At least one of us can find some peace."

With a sigh, he rose to his feet, started walking. Stooped to pick up the bloodied dagger when he saw it gleaming on the ground. Then he went to find Sevika. She had lost an arm. She looked at his bloody knife, the blood in his hair, and the ash on his face, and figured there could only be one reason why Vander wasn't with him, with how clingy the two had gotten lately.

"Are you going to be okay?" Sevika asked, as if she wasn't the one who'd just lost a limb.

"No. But I'll bring you help. First..." he tightened his grip on the dagger's hilt. "I need to find a missing child."

If those children had never sent those Enforcers down on their heads, they could have been happy. Vander would have been different, but... Silco didn't care. He still loved him. They could have made it work.

Sevika coughed, still overwhelmed by smoke, even though Silco had pulled her away from the worst of it. "Vander wouldn't want this." 

"We don't always get what we want." All he had wanted was his partner back, one way or another. He had to take too much Shimmer, lose control. For him, to protect him. That was the worst part. He only did it to protect Silco, and he still killed him. How ungrateful can you be?

He walked up to Sevika and knelt down, one hand falling on her shoulder. "Thank you for your loyalty, Sevika. If I don't return..."

"With respect, Sir... I don't care what you want. Zaun needs you." The air was still thick with ash. He nodded to her, more grateful than he could say. At least one person still believed in him, and what they were building.

Silco scoured the burning remains of the factory for one sister, but found another, looking just as lost and hopeless as he felt that night on the bridge. He never dreamed the molotov cocktail he threw that night would kill two of his closest friends. He only wanted to hurt the Enforcers threatening them. Now... he'd found a way to weaponise chaos like that. The one weapon Piltover couldn't guard against, because it was too wild and unpredictable. Like Jinx. Nothing prepared him for Jinx.

♤♡◇♧

Jinx came running into his office, a big smile on her face. She snatched the mechanism from his hand and helped him inject his eye, sticking her tongue out as she did. It hurt more when she did it, but... he wanted her to feel useful. And it was useful. Stabbing yourself in the eye never gets easy. She put the mechanism back in his hand when she was done, drained of Shimmer.

"You've been talking to him again, haven't you? Vander. I saw you visiting his statue the other day."

"What? I... maybe... why?" She'd never taken an interest before. She spun his chair around, perched on the edge of his desk, stopped it spinning with the foot of her boot when it came back around to face her.

"Mhmm. You must really miss him. What would you say if you had the chance to speak to him again? For real. In the flesh."

His hand immediately shot out, catching her arm. "Jinx. Promise me this isn't another Vi incident..."

"Can't promise he'll be able to talk back, but..." she put her chin in her hands. "He did say your name!"

"Jinx! What do you know about Vander?!" He got up from his chair. She wove away, leaving a streak of Shimmer in her wake. "Get back here! Jinx!"

He started to follow her, heading for the door of his office. Before he made it there, she knocking into his side with a hug that left him winded.

"I think I found him! Well not him exactly, but... Vander's still in there, I know it! I can see it in his eyes. He said my name when I freed those Zaunites from Stillwater. Stopped attacking me. So... there must be a little Vander left, right?"

"Slow down... Vander attacked you?" The Vander Silco remembered would never hurt Jinx or Vi. Unless he lost control, like he had when he got hold of too much raw Shimmer, turned on Silco...

"He's... changed. You might not recognise him."

His firmly took hold of Jinx's arm, met her gaze. "Take me to him. Please."

"...Promise you won't hurt him? No matter how much he's changed?"

"I'm the last person who would...!" He started to argue, before remembering how much his version of events differed from theirs. No one else knew the whole story. All they knew was that Silco and Vander were former friends and allies turned bitter rivals, that Vander tried and failed to kill Silco once, and that night in the factory, Vander died at Silco's hands. Everyone assumed Silco got his revenge, and it was contempt for Vander that led Silco to take control of the Last Drop, not fondness, nostalgia. The fact that bar was full of memories for both him and Jinx.

No one knew Silco killed Vander in self-defense except Sevika. No one knew they used to be closer than friends, or brothers, besides Sevika and Singed. Everyone who knew them when they were young, when they were lovers, was dead now. Silco had done a thorough job of burning his bridges, both literally and figuratively. He wanted to downplay Vander's importance, so it would be easier to forget him. Move on. As if he ever could. They had been too much a part of each others lives for too long. 

"...I promise I won't hurt him, Jinx."

She nodded, extended her hand. She believed him. Trusted him. She was the one person left who did. He had even lost Sevika in the end. He had been unable to deliver the dream he promised her. Like Vander, he let his love for his daughter blind him to the greater good of the community. He still wanted to help Zaun, but... he doubted he could ever win back a modicum of the respect and power he enjoyed before turning down the offer Piltover made him. He had already given up his position as a chem-baron, but he had no regrets there. Love makes you selfish. Blind.

Jinx led him by the hand down into the tunnels beneath Zaun. Into the mines. Familiar territory, but territory he had not tred in... decades. It felt strange to pass through those winding caverns again.

"Is it true?" Silco asked as they headed deeper. "I saw him die... no one could survive that..."

Every now and then she stopped, letting go of his hand to clap and make the cave start glowing, and light their way.

"I wouldn't be dragging you here if I hadn't seen him myself! It's Vander alright. He recognised me. Remembers you."

"But why bring me here? I'm the one who hurt him."

She looked back over her shoulder. "You regret it, don't you?"

Of course he regretted it. He wouldn't be here now if he didn't regret it, hunting for Vander's ghost.

She stopped. Clapped again. "I know you miss him, too. Care about him, in your own messed up way. And he, uh... well, you'll see!"

He wasn't sure he liked the sound of that. Wasn't sure whatever Vander came back as wouldn't kill him on sight. But he knew these caverns well, and the closer they got to the familiar entrance of his hideout, the more certain he felt he knew where Jinx was taking him. She threw open the door, held it for him. He walked in. She went to find the lantern on the table where she left it, used an old lighter to ignite it.

Their old hideout was exactly as they left it. Silco turned around in a circle, taking it all in. Banners, journals, supplies, hand-drawn maps... relics from their revolutionary youth. Their jackets still hung together on the same hook, next to their helmets. Jinx coughed. He spun around, saw her gesture to a letter on the table.

"He left this for you. I think. Long time ago." When she saw the tears already starting to form in the corner of his eyes, she put a hand to his back. "I'll, uhh... wait outside. In case he shows up again." She left to give him some privacy.

Silco read the letter. It was an awful apology, but... it was in his handwriting, and showed he was thinking about him. And his first instinct, after coming back from the dead, being to come here... made it seem like Silco wasn't the only one struggling to move on. He rolled up the letter, pocketed it. Went to get Jinx.

She was waiting just outside the door, leaning with her back to it. "You read the letter, didn't you?"

A shrug. She kept her head down. "I figured you two had history. You always said he was like a brother to you..."

"I loved him. I was in love with him. Ridiculous, isn't it?" Silco laughed. There were still tears in his eyes. He shook his head, bit them back. "Should've come here sooner. Don't know why I didn't. Always too stubborn. But he never had to...! What are you doing, Jinx?"

She had swiped his knife when he wasn't looking, was about to slice open her palm. "He, uhh... responds to blood? Figure it should be mine. Someone he knows."

He snatched the knife from her. "I'm not letting you hurt yourself! I'll do it. How much blood do you need?"

"Just a few drops."

He nodded, held out his hand. Bled his own palm, and let it fall to the cavern ground.

"Now what do we do?"

"We wait."

They went quiet. Waited.

He smoked to settle his nerves. 

"Did you really love him?" Jinx asked.

"Do you think I would lie about something like that?"

"No. It's just... crazy. Both my dads, huh? Makes sense."

He snuffed out the cigar beneath his boot, next to his blood.

Now Vander had two ways to catch his scent.

"Does Vi know Vander's back...?"

"She's already been down here."

That hurt more than it should have. "Jinx."

"This is the way things are now, big guy! Have to share me." She hugged him before he could get too cut up about it.

Their hug was cut short by the sound of a large animal careening through the caverns, shaking the very ground beneath them. "That's him! Get ready." Jinx announced, getting out her gun. She held it up level with the tunnel.

"What do you mean that's him?!" Silco echoed, incredulous. Then he saw him. Vander looked... different, now. Silco recognised Singed's handiwork on sight. He also saw what Jinx saw. Vander was still in there, fighting to get out.

He looked as angry and aggressive as he had the day Silco killed him. But a change came over him when his eyes locked on Silco's. He said his name, soft as feathers: "Silco." Stopped raging and touched his forehead to his. Silco did not know what to do with this. He raised a hand to stroke the creatures neck. It was soft. He had fur like a wolf. He also looked... in pain.

"Janna... what have they done to you?" he murmurred in a low voice. "I'm sorry I let this happen, Van... we were both fools, weren't we? Too proud for our own good..."

Vandar made a dejected noise, closed his eyes. He could not respond with words.

"It's okay, I'm here now. I've got you." Silco lost a hand in the thick fur of his neck. Jinx ran up to hug them both. When she started to pull away, Silco kept one hand on her shoulder. "And I found her. I understand Felicia's vision now. Making Zaun safer for them. That's all I want."

"Powder..." Vander said with some difficulty.

"We can be a family... once I get my hands on Singed."

Jinx grinned. "Oh, let me! Can't wait to fill him full of holes after the number he did on me..."

She would have died if he hadn't, but... Silco understood her anger. He smirked, ran a hand through her hair. "Have fun."

So Jinx set off to start work on a new weapon. Silco gave Vander a long look. What troubled him most was how much pain he appeared to be in, but Singed was never merciful to his experiments. Silco remembered their first meeting. Singed taught him to be truly powerful, you must be willing to suffer. You must be willing to sacrifice anything for the sake of your ambitions. And he put Silco's aptitude for power to the test. At the time, Silco thought it was worth it. That it was making him stronger. Now... he was less sure.

"If you can understand me, Van... know I'll do everything in my power to make this right." Then he brought down his neck so he could kiss his forehead. "I'll make him pay for hurting you." Vander made a soft, inhuman noise in response. Something approaching a purr.

Silco went back into their hideout, unsure when or if he'd ever return. Ran his hand over everything. Silco knew he might never get Vander back, even if they tracked down Singed. He had no idea how much Vander was left in there. But he had a few ideas for how to remind him of himself. There were photos back home he could show him. Music that might help him remember.

Even if he could never get back the life he once had, or walk through the streets of Zaun without frightening people who once respected and admired him... he still had Jinx, and Silco, and apparently Vi in his court.

Before Jinx headed off with her latest invention to wreck havoc on their enemies, Silco stopped her arm. Said: "I'm joining you this time."

She brought up one hand in a salute, left the other on her hip. "Aye aye captain!"

No questions. Good. He didn't have a lot of answers. He still wasn't sure what they would do after they hunted Singed down. Maybe they could find a way to save him. If not... he could still avenge him. He owed him that.

"Good. Let's go."