Chapter Text
BillDip Cafe AU ;;
Dipper was fed up with the barista at the cafe . The barista, whose nematic read ‘BILL CIPHER’, had been giving him creepy winks every time he visited the shop, and to be honest, it was kind of freaking Dipper out.
Sure, the man was good looking. He had bright yellow hair (which Mabel would probably have fawned over if she ever agreed to join Dipper for coffee, which was never going to happen since she hated its taste. Bill had heterochromatic eyes, and his left was a strange golden-yellow, while the other was a piercing blue. Must as he disliked the man, Dipper couldn’t help but be curious about his eyes. Did their dual-colorer characteristic change the way bill saw? or was it the same? If not for the man’s weird flirting, Dipper would have asked him already.
Just then, his turn to order came around. Bill grinned at him over the counter. “Morning, Pine Tree! Are you having your usual again today?”
“I told you, my name is Dipper.” Glaring at the barista, Dipper moved to the side to make way in the queue for the person behind him.
“And I’m Bill! Bill Cipher,” the other replied sarcastically, smirking. “Besides, I can call you whatever I want. It’s my mouth, after all... Unless you want it.”
Dipper cringed inwardly at the terrible pick up line, staring at the table to avoid eye contact as the Bill began speaking with the next customer, grinning annoyingly all the while. Argh, just looking at the man made him feel sick.
“Pine Tree~ Your coffee’s done!”
Snatching his purchase from Bill, Dipper quickly escaped the shop, fuming. Great, just great. It was only 8am and his mood for the day was completely ruined. No matter how good the coffee at that cafe was, the brunette swore he was never going back there ever again.
—
Standing outside the coffee shop at 8 in the morning, again, Dipper sighed inwardly at himself. Why was he here again? Oh, yeah, he was stupid. Great.
Still feeling slightly indecisive, Dipper walked into the cafe, bell ringing to announce his presence. Bill looked up from the counter to glance at him, face splitting into a grin when he saw the other boy, and Dipper’s mind reminded him of his astounding capability to embarrass himself.
He’d allowed his sister to talk him into actually considering dating the man.
“Dipperrrrr, do you want to be a single pringle foreverrrrrrrrr?” she had nagged him, poking his cheek over dinner the night before and pouting when he swatted her away. “Besides, how many people are going to notice you apart from creepy cafe baristas if you always lock yourself at home, anyways? You need to have some funnnnnnn~”
“I am having fun!” Huffing angrily at his twin, Dipper turned away, deliberately ignoring her when she resumed her poking.
“C’mon, Dipper. Just give him a try! You can’t judge him without even knowing what he’s like first,” Mabel wheedled, smiling when Dipper gave in, nodding his head slightly. “Good boy! I’ll be watching you tomorrow~” Mabel bounced happily away, and he had watched her leave, knowing that he would regret his impulsively blurted out statement.
And here he was, doing exactly just that.
“Heyheyheyy there Pine Tree~ Here to see my handsome face again?”
Dipper groaned, glaring at Bill. “No, I’m not here to see you.”
“So you admit that I’m handsome, even if that’s not the reason why you came! Is it my charming personality?”
“No?”
“I see… you’re interesting, Pine Tree. Hmm… maybe you came here for fashion advice?”
“You pretty much always wear the same shirt, what advice can you even give?”
“Aha! So you want to know my secrets… I see, I see…”
“I came here to ask to date you, okay? So can we just get this over with?!” Dipper yelled angrily, turning bright red the moment he realised exactly where he was…
In a cafe.
Numerous heads of customers in the cafe turned to face him, some shocked, some disgusted, and some just plain curious. Dipper wanted to hide from them all, he couldn’t deal with people, this was too much. He hurried out of the cafe, staring at the ground to try and ignore the stares coming his way.
“Pine Tree! Come back tonight at six, okay? I’ll see you at six!”
Dipper didn’t look back.