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Sometimes, Vi thinks she knows Caitlyn better than herself.
She recognizes the tiniest muscle contractions in Caitlyn's jaw, an uneven breath, the catch in her breath when she's caught off guard. The softening of her gaze when her sight lands on Vi. How she likes her tea in the mornings. How, in the early hours of the day, she refuses to be apart from Vi in any capacity, choosing to lean against her or hold her hand while they make their breakfast.
Vi also thinks she knows Caitlyn's body quite well at this point. The tiny gap in her teeth. The slightly different shapes of her eyebrows. The curve of her hips, her slender fingers, her deep collarbones, the swell of her breast.
All this to say, when something new appears on Caitlyn's body, she's quick to observe.
Hence why, one quiet night, as they get ready for bed, she's surprised when Caitlyn bends over forward and her nightshirt falls down her chest just far enough that she can see a sliver of purple on the skin. Caitlyn is standing across the room, Vi settled and sat on the bed waiting for her.
The alarm in her head immediately blares, mind spinning. Purple could mean bruises. Bruises Caitlyn hasn't told her about. And Caitlyn always tells her when she's injured.
"Cait."
"Hm?" Caitlyn absentmindedly responds, running a brush through her dark hair.
"What the fuck's that on your chest?"
The brush slips out of Caitlyn's hands, clattering down on her nightstand. She turns towards Vi, eye wide. Vi's internal alarm continues to blare. Caitlyn looks like she's been caught.
"It's nothing, I– don't worry about it. It's nothing." She turns away from Vi, picking up her brush and resuming her brushing.
"Cait."
"Vi," she retorts.
Vi breaths out a sigh of frustration. "Are you injured? Is that a bruise? Cait, we're supposed to tell each other when we get hurt–"
Caitlyn turns back around. "It's– it's not… um."
Vi raises an eyebrow. "It's not what? Why are you-"
"Just don't– don't worry about it, Vi."
A traitorous thought rises in Vi's mind, and she dreads the answer to her impending question.
"...Did I do something wrong?"
Caitlyn's head whips around, and she stares at Vi.
"No, no, darling, of course you didn't, I'm sorry."
She crosses the room in three short strides, climbing onto their bed and sitting across from Vi, their knees touching.
She meets Vi's gaze, observing the shortly-lived hurt and confusion in her girlfriend's expression.
"I'm not hurt," she promises.
"You're… not."
"No, I just…" She hesitates, looking down at her hands.
"Cait, you're scaring me," Vi says warily, reaching out to grasp Caitlyn's hands.
Caitlyn sighs. "Just, um… I'll show you." She breathes in, releasing her hands from Vi's grasp.
Then, she hooks two fingers into her collar and tugs down, exposing her upper left breast-
And suddenly Vi can't breathe.
Because inked onto the milky, unblemished skin of Caitlyn's chest is a tattoo. Of a flower.
And it's a violet.
"Is that… why did you- Cait-"
Almost unconsciously, Vi reached out, brushing the rough pads of her fingers over the purple ink of the petals. She hears a choked out sound come out of her throat, and with all the effort she can muster, drags her gaze from the flower to meet Caitlyn's eye.
Caitlyn is looking at her with the expression that always makes Vi's heart feel like it's going to explode out of her chest, her deep blue gaze soft as she stares back, full of love. She reaches out a slim finger to brush a piece of pink hair away from Vi's eye.
"DId you… is that a…" Vi whispered.
Caitlyn softly huffs a laugh, leaning impossibly closer to Vi. "A violet? Yes."
Vi bites her lip, reaching out to rest a hand on Caitlyn's slim hip. She can feel wetness on her cheeks, and if it were anyone else, she might have been embarrassed for the tears. Instead, she just laughs wetly.
"Do you just– like violets a lot, or did you get it for…"
Caitlyn grins, stretching her hands up to cup Vi's cheeks and wipe away a stray tear with the pad of her thumb, all while taking a step closer to her girlfriend until their bodies are pressed flush together.
"It's for you, Violet. Of course it's for you."
And Vi melts, sagging forward to smush her face into the crook of Caitlyn's neck. She's almost certainly wetting Caitlyn's sleep shirt with her tears, but she doesn't truly care. Caitlyn, the love of her life, her partner, her light, her everything, had decided to permanently mark her skin with a reminder of Vi. It was almost too loving of an act for Vi to bear.
All this time spent with Caitlyn, all the time Caitlyn had spent had fiercely whispered words of adoration into her ears, pressing her lips to every inch of Vi's skin, always touching, and loving, and adoring Vi like no one ever had– and Vi sometimes still struggled to bear the promise of Caitlyn's love. Perhaps Caitlyn would grow tired of her scarred flesh, her nightmares, of dealing with her past. Maybe she'd realize all the things wrong with Vi and finally leave. To be with someone who didn't require so much work.
But here she was, cradling Vi like she was the most precious thing she had, like she hadn't seen Vi broken and bloody and desperate. Here she was sitting with her in their home, in their bed, that they shared.
Here Caitlyn was with Vi tattooed over her heart like she was something to be cherished.
Vi took a deep, shuddering breath, wrapping her strong arms tightly around Caitlyn's torso and burying her face impossibly deeper into her neck. "I can't fuckin' believe you did that. Because of me, Cait, that's- fuck, I didn't think it was possible to love you more, and you keep proving me wrong," she spoke into Caitlyn's neck.
She felt Caitlyn's arms gently stroke through her hair, felt her press her lips to the crown of her head, her lips lingering like she didn't want to let go.
"Seriously, I- when did you do this, cupcake?" Vi asked, sitting up straight until she was face to face with her girlfriend.
Caitlyn's cheeks flushed a pretty red. Vi wanted to bite them.
She huffed out a laugh, averting her gaze from Vi's like she knew what Vi would say to answer.
"I… may or may not have lied about having a meeting a few days ago," she confessed. "I wanted to give it time to heal at least some before you saw it."
Vi's mouth dropped open. "You managed to hide it for– oh my god. That's why you didn't want to have sex last night. Because you didn't want me to see your tits. Cait. Baby. I thought you were mad at me!"
Caitlyn grinned, biting back a laugh. "Trust me, it wasn't from lack of interest," she whispered flirtatiously, wrapping her arms around Vi's neck. "Just didn't want you to see it while it was still bloody."
Vi laughed, her gaze falling back to the flower.
"It's… it's over your heart, right?"
Caitlyn's gaze softened. "Yeah. Yes. It is, sweetheart."
She took a deep breath, swiping a thumb over Vi's tattoo on her cheek.
"You're always with me, Vi. Even when we're apart. You're a part of me. You hold my entire heart and soul in your palms. I wanted.. a physical reminder. An embodiment, I suppose. Of just how much space in my heart belongs to you."
Caitlyn's eyes shone with unshed tears as she held Vi's face, smiling gently.
Tears gathered in Vi's eyes, the weight of Caitlyn's words entering through her ears and traveling down to her lungs and squeezing. "Cait-"
"I love you, Violet."
Vi let out a choked sob, pulling Caitlyn close to press their foreheads together tightly.
"I- shit, baby, me too, I- you have to know you're my everything, part of my soul. I'd get your name tattooed on me a thousand times if that's what you wanted-"
Caitlyn giggled wetly, teardrops on her dark eyelashes. "While I love the idea of my name being part of your skin, I think you might run out of free space, sweetheart."
"I'll write small. It'll be fine."
They huffed laughs together, breathing each other in. Together, in their bed, they wrapped their arms around each other and laid down, legs tangled and fingers intertwined.
Minutes passed by, the gentle tick-tick of their clock a steady reminder. Vi shifted to rest her head over Caitlyn's heart, and the violet atop it, listening to the thump-thump-thump of her girlfriend's heartbeat. Mine, her mind whispered, again and again, like a mantra. Mine, mine, mine, always, always, always.
Ever so tenderly, she turns her head to press her lips to the flower, murmuring "I love you's" against Caitlyn's skin. Caitlyn whispers every one right back, stroking Vi's hair and holding her tightly until they both drift to sleep.
The next morning, and nearly every morning after that, when they wake, Vi presses her lips first to Caitlyn's soft lips and then to the violet on her chest. Every time Caitlyn is away, Vi rubs the spot directly over her heart and imagines Caitlyn doing the same.
And every time Vi's past and insecurities, nightmares and horrors, come back to haunt her, Caitlyn is right there, holding Vi tightly and reaffirming her love with Vi's ear pressed to her heart. Calls Vi her flower, her love, her sweetheart, until Vi's breaths even and she can whisper the words back.