Chapter Text
playlist: Mistletoe, Christmas, and Viewer Engagement
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Chapter 1 A Christmas “Engagement”
“Let me get this straight. Better Homes & Gardens wants me to be in their holiday issue next year?” Syd said. “Do they want me to contribute, like, a cake or cookie recipe or something?”
“They don’t just want you in it. They want you to be on the cover!” Natalie explained excitedly. “You’d be like the main feature. Well, you and Carmy would be—”
Syd frowned. “Carmy?” she repeated. “Why?”
“I dunno. I guess they think he’s your fiancè or something,” Natalie answered, shrugging.
Syd didn’t know how a magazine like Better Homes and Gardens had gotten Carmy confused as her future husband and not her business partner. She knew her merry band of followers ‘shipped’ them together (whatever that meant) and had dubbed them SydCarmy. The editor had probably assumed from comments or fan edits, or something like that.
“You gotta call them and tell them we’re not fucking together like that,” Syd said.
“Why don’t you call them and tell them you’re not fucking together like that?” Natalie asked. “I’m not like your talent agent or anything. I only took a message because you weren’t here when they called.”
“Do you think if I told them Carmy and I aren’t together like that , the whole magazine thing would be off?”
Natalie shrugged. “It’s not like they left me a detailed message. They told me to tell you they were interested in you guys and to get back to them if it sounded like something you’d like to do.”
Syd tapped her fingers against the desk thoughtfully. “I don’t even have a house. Have you ever seen a Better Homes and Gardens house decorated for Christmas? It’s not like they want to showcase a small apartment you’re renting .”
Natalie shrugged. “My mom wasn’t really much into that kind of stuff when I was growing up. But if they want you to be in the magazine, I’m sure they have everything worked out already.”
“So I guess I shouldn’t ask you if you can believe they actually want me?” Syd joked.
“It makes sense, HomeSweetSyd is one of the cutest channels on YouTube,” Natalie replied.
“You’re just saying that because you’re biased towards me,” Syd said, trying not to look pleased.
“I thought so even before we met,” Natalie assured her. “I’d watch your videos during lockdown and think gee, I wish I was like her .”
“Haha,” Syd said.
“I mean, you obviously have an audience. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have asked you if they didn’t think you’d sell magazines.”
“Yeah but next year is so far away, anything could happen,” Syd said. “I could become yesterday’s news tomorrow for all we know.”
“Syd, they have people for things like that. Unless you have some huge Tati Westbrook or James Charles-level scandal, I don’t foresee something like that happening. Your popularity is just growing every day.”
“It’s only because the whole traditional homemaking wife thing is in right now,” Syd said. “Again, next year everyone’s going to be onto the next aesthetic, whatever that might be.”
Natalie hmmm’d. “Yeah, but you’ve been doing this whole thing for four years now. I don’t think you’ll fade away like some trend. Look at Brunch With Babs, people still love her.
“Yeah, but she’s got that whole cute little Catholic grandma thing going on,” Syd answered. “It would be hard to just stop watching everyone’s fucking internet grandmother.”
Natalie sighed. “Syd, is there a reason you can think of to do it? Like any pros at all?”
“Yeah, I mean… kinda ?” Syd shook her head. “It would be great publicity for The Bear and it might even be good for my channel.”
“Both fantastic reasons to do it,” Natalie agreed. “But don’t do it for our sake, do it because you want to.”
Syd laughed a little. “I do wanna do it,” she admitted. “When I was a little kid one of my dreams was being featured in a magazine one day. But like very specifically one of the double-Christmas issues. Not that I’d mind being on the cover of a regular issue, it’s just when you’re a child Christmas seems like a bigger deal.”
Natalie nodded.
“And an opportunity to be in a magazine is an opportunity, right? Sure it’s not like I’m Food & Wine’s best chef under 40 or something but, it’ll put eyes on me and open up other doors for features in, like, Bon Appetit or something like that,” Syd rambled on.
“You gotta start somewhere,” Natalie agreed.
Syd could already start to see her feature coming together perfectly. An old-fashioned Christmas, she was wearing a white fisherman sweater, jeans, and a velvet red bow in her hair while she talked about her nana’s brown sugar and pineapple ham, with artificially bright red maraschino cherries.
Her own toffee recipe she had made as a fluke in high school, and had learned to develop into something she could make every year to give as gifts to the neighbors in her apartment. The most perfect Christmas playlist, the importance of traditions and keepsake ornaments, along with something unexpected.
She would just have to figure out how to get Carmy out of the picture. Tell them that their fact-checkers had gotten it wrong somewhere along the line and he was nothing more than her business partner and a friend.
“Thinking about what it’ll all look like?” Natalie asked, breaking up her thoughts.
“Yeah.” Syd nodded. “I think it’ll be good. But I also don’t think I’ll believe it’s actually happening until I’m actually doing it, and even then it might feel a little surreal. Like when we got the first Michelin star or when YouTube sent me the Silver Play Button for one hundred thousand subscribers. Ya know what I mean?”
“Yeah,” Natalie said. “I felt like that when I met Pete and when I found out I was going to be a mom.”
Syd didn’t tell Natalie that she also felt that way meeting Carmy for the first time. There was no need to equate meeting him to Michelin stars and babies and Nat falling in love with Pete.
Natalie slid her a hot pink sticky note, the number of someone scrawled on it in her pretty handwriting. “Well, I think you should call them and tell them you’re interested in their offer. I mean you probably should mention it to Carmy first so he knows you’ll need some time off but don’t let it go too long.”
Syd had been hoping she could try and get Carmy out of the article before she told Carmy about the article. She wasn’t sure how she was going to do that though, she had never had anyone think she was engaged before. Not at a professional level anyway.
(Okay, so chefs and other restaurant owners thought she and Carmy were more involved than they were all the time. More often than not it was just easier to go with it than tell them they weren’t really together because they were together almost all the time these days. But still, it was different than thinking she was someone’s whole wife-to-be.)
Syd realized if she even agreed to do it with Carmy tagging along as her fiancè, she would have to tell him they were engaged before she said they would do it.
She just didn’t know how he would react. Relationships seemed to make him skittish. She could only imagine how he would feel about a fake one—
“Syd, you okay?” Natalie asked.
“Just thinking,” Syd replied. “I have to get some things figured out before I can say yes.”
Natalie nodded. “Okay, well don’t wait too long to tell them you’ll do it!”
“I won’t, I won’t!” Syd assured her standing up. “Where did you say Carmy was?”
Natalie smirked. “I didn’t, but he’s probably in the kitchen prepping for tonight.”
“Right, of course.” Syd smiled. “Thanks, Nat. I guess I’ll, uh, go and tell him that I might need the time off.”
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As predicted, Carmy was in the kitchen, standing over a stove and stirring a pot of something. His brow furrowed in concentration.
She cleared her throat to get his attention.
He looked up and broke into half a smile when he saw her standing there, hands clasped in front of her.
“Yo, Syd.”
“Hi, Carmy.”
“Is there something I can do for you?” He asked, stirring some more.
“Uh…” Syd trailed off. “What are you making?”
“Cranberry pickles,” he replied. “For the Thanksgiving menu. I was thinking we could do a—”
“Relish appetizer to start with?” Syd finished for him.
“Yeah! How’d you know?”
Syd shrugged. “Hey Carmy, I was wondering…”
“Hmm? Wondering about what?” Carmy asked.
“Do you know Better Homes & Gardens ?” Syd asked.
“Like the magazine?”
Syd nodded. “Yeah, the magazine.”
“Yeah, I know of it,” Carmy answered, taking a taste test before getting a new spoon and offering her some too. “What about it?”
“Well.” Syd blew on her pickled cranberries before putting them in her mouth and feeling the inevitable burn of hot sugar on her tongue, she puffed out some air before chewing and swallowing. She suddenly realized this wasn’t the best time to talk about it. “If you take me home tonight, I can tell you more about it.”
Carmy frowned a little. “You want me to take you home so we can talk about a magazine?”
“Yeah. I’ll explain more later.”
“Sure, okay,” Carmy agreed, looking confused as he pulled the pot of cranberries off the stove and poured them into a large mason jar.
“Cool,” Syd said as she went to her station and started the prep for the dinner crowd.
She methodically chopped onions and thought about how she was going to ask Carmy to be her fake fiancè for a while. And why she had to have him take her all the way home to do it.
The day went by in a blur, faster than Syd would have liked, and before she knew it, they were locking up for the night. Carmy escorted Syd to his car and opened the door for her before getting in himself.
The radio was playing Christmas music early, It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas , but Carmy made no move to change the station as he pulled out of the restaurant parking lot and made his way to her apartment. There was companionable silence and if he knew she was nervous about their upcoming conversation, he didn’t let on.
“Are you hungry?” she asked when they were safely tucked away in her kitchen, Carmy at her counter, while she dug through her freezer for leftover chicken stew.
“Sure,” Carmy said, nursing the vanilla Coke she had given him when they’d gotten inside.
Syd extracted the deli container filled with chicken soup from behind a carton of Jenni’s ice cream and showed it to Carmy, who nodded and smiled.
“So, you wanted to tell me about Better Homes and Gardens ,” Carmy broached the subject carefully as she heated a stockpot and dumped the soup into it with a solid thud.
Syd nodded and cut up sourdough bread into cubes before putting them in a skillet and adding dried herbs and grated parmesan cheese. “It’s a magazine,” she said.
“I know that.”
“They asked me to be their cover star for next year’s Christmas issue,” Syd said, without looking up, paying extra attention to the bread even though they were nowhere near ready to be flipped over.
“That’s… that’s fantastic !” Carmy said enthusiastically.
Syd looked up and was greeted with his wide grin, as he looked at her like he was incredibly proud. “Yeah?”
“Yeah! Is this because of your—”
“Homemaking YouTube channel,” Syd finished, nodding. “Yeah, it is.”
“Wow! That’s just- that’s really great Syd!” Carmy told her, sounding like he genuinely meant it.
“Well, I’m glad you think so.” Syd cleared her throat, her mouth suddenly dry as she reached for a spoon to stir the soup.
“Are you going to need time off? Is that what you needed to talk to me about?”
“I’m, uh, not sure.” Syd cleared her throat again.
Carmy frowned. “You don’t look excited. I thought you’d be thrilled. This is the first time someone’s asked you to be in a fucking magazine! It’s only a matter of time before other offers start to come—”
“I didn’t tell you everything,” Syd interjected.
Carmy looked a little confused. “ O-kay . What is it that you’re not telling me?”
“They don’t just want me, they want the both of us. Like together !” Syd blurted out, her heart starting to pound as she turned the soup down with trembling hands.
“Together?” Carmy repeated as he got up and took the tongs out of the canister by her stove and started to flip the cubed bread with ease before they started to burn. “What do you fucking mean… together ?”
Syd tried to gauge his reaction before answering, he didn’t seem angry or anything. Just curious with a little bit of confusion in the mix.
She went over to the window and snipped some dill. “Well, I guess they think we’re… like engaged ,” she replied. “Haha.”
She waited for Carmy to laugh or to see the humor in it (even though she didn’t). But he looked like he was thinking about something.
“Are you asking me to go along with it?” he finally asked.
“I—” Syd stopped short, realizing there was no use lying or trying to come up with excuses. “Yeah, I guess I was. I know it’s a terrible idea and I’ll call them tomorrow and explain that we’re not really a couple—”
Carmy put his hand on her wrist and looked at her, unblinking. “Syd, chill ! I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it.”
Syd’s pulse skittered to a stop. “Are you saying you’ll do it?”
Carmy shrugged. “Sure. Why not?” He gave her something that almost looked like a smirk. “It’s not like your fans don’t think we’re together anyway. I read the comments sometimes.”
“The-they do not !” Syd replied, shoving him. “They just want us to get together. There’s a difference, you know.”
“Some of them think we’re together,” Carmy told her as he reached over her and turned the stew off.
“You’re supposed to ignore those fans,” Syd told him as she got two bowls down from the cabinet and ladled stew into both of them before topping them with perfectly golden bread.
“It’s not like I engage with them,” Carmy said. “I just said I read the comments, I hate chatting with people on the internet. Especially when I don’t know them.”
Syd just shook her head and sat down, eating with gusto because of the relief of Carmy being in her corner and not having to explain to someone at Better Homes and Gardens she didn’t have a fiancé.
“So, how do you think this will go?” Carmy asked as he joined her.
Syd shrugged. “The Christmas features are pretty straightforward. They’ll come and take pictures of your decorated space, and ask you about your Christmas traditions. You might share a few recipes. We might have to come up with a couple of shared traditions as, you know, a couple .”
Carmy nodded thoughtfully.
“And did you have any, like as a kid?”
Carmy shook his head. “Not really. Any Christmas that didn’t end in a screaming match or my mom passing out drunk was considered a good holiday. I mean, we had things. Mikey and Nat decorated and tried to do some shopping so we had gifts. But it wasn’t like we were watching Miracle on 34th Street the night after Thanksgiving, or were some picture of a functioning and loving family.”
Syd nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I understand. You don’t have to talk about that, you know. Just tell them… and they might not even ask you. I was just guessing.”
“Syd, it’s okay !” Carmy hurried to assure her. “If they ask me about it, I’ll just, uh, tell them it wasn't, like, normal . It’s not like it’s a huge secret anyway.”
Syd nodded and released a breath. “Okay.”
Carmy looked around the apartment and smiled. “So, what are you going to do about the home part of the Better Homes and Gardens ?”
Syd shrugged. “I’m not sure. I can’t recall any recent issues where they shot an apartment either.”
“I-I might be able to ask Uncle Jimmy if he has a house we can use if it’s an issue,” Carmy told her.
Syd raised an eyebrow. “You know that entails telling him we’re ‘engaged’.” She told him.
“Mhm,” Carmy said through a mouthful of soup.
“You think he’ll believe it?”
Carmy shrugged. “He might.”
Syd rested her chin in her hand and sighed. “And if he doesn’t?”
Carmy shrugged again. “It’s not like he’s above lying, Syd.”
Another little niggle of anxiety wormed its way through Syd’s core. “You know, what if we get caught and everyone finds out we’re not engaged?”
“We won’t get caught,” Carmy said simply.
“They get caught in How To Lose a Guy 1o Days .”
“I don’t understand that reference,” Carmy told her.
Syd looked at him incredulously and then shook her head affectionately. “Matthew McConaughey, Kate Hudson?”
“Still not ringing a bell,” Carmy answered.
“She makes a bet that she can make a guy fall out of love with her in ten days, he makes a bet that he can get a girl to fall in love with him in ten days,” Syd explained.
“Sounds needlessly frustrating,” Carmy replied. “Besides, I don’t see how that has anything to do with us . I’m not making a bet with anyone that I can make you fall in love with me.”
“I mean, she’s writing a news article…” Syd trailed off. “You know what, never mind. You’re right, that doesn’t have anything to do with us. We’re more like My Fake Fiancé .”
“I don’t know that one either,” Carmy said.
“It was on Freeform while it was still ABC Family. Joey Lawerance and Melissa Joan Hart.” Syd saw the blank look on his face but continued anyway. “They were pretending to be engaged because he owed money to the mob or something. I don’t know, it was kind of dumb.” Syd smirked.
“What?” Carmy asked.
“I just realized that Joey Lawerance was in another movie where he pretended to be somebody’s fake fiancé. It was on Hallmark in like 2012.”
“Hmm,” Carmy hummed. “There’s a lot of movies like that, aren’t there?”
“I don’t know. Not that many.” Syd dunked her spoon in and out of her stew.
“How do they end?” Carmy asked. “The movies, I mean.”
“Like all mid made-for-TV movies usually end. Happily ever after,” Syd replied.
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Carmy rejected Syd’s offer for dessert after they were finished eating, stating he was full. But he stayed and helped her clean up even though it was getting late and there really weren't many dishes to load into the dishwasher.
When they were done, Carmy promised to get in touch with Cicero about a house in the morning before bidding her goodnight and disappearing into the cold late November night.
When Syd was finally tucked into bed, she was hit with the realization that maybe pretending to be engaged wasn’t her best idea ever. They would have to maintain the charade for at least a year or worse , there would be a footnote in the article about how they had broken up before the issue had gone to press.
But she didn’t entertain it. She would cross that bridge when she came to it.
TBC…
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