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There was a noise behind him, it wasn't quite loud but it wasn't quite quiet either
It wasn't Gramorr
But that didn't stop the blood in his veins from turning cold and drastically picking up in speed
He glanced behind him, it had just been a small rock falling over in the empty cave
Knowing that didn't stop his lungs from burning.
“Mephisto! Are you even listening? ” He heard his sister whine, they were supposed to be coming up with a new plan to stop the princesses and impress Gramorr, Praxina was giving her plan but he got distracted, just like he always did.
He nodded his head, eyes wide, trying to pretend that he couldn't hear his own heartbeat clearer than her voice
He hated when he started to feel like this
It had been a hard day, their previous plan failed, Iris got another oracle gem, Gramorr had yelled at them and threatened consequences for the next failure.
He probably wouldn't go through with that, he usually didn't when the threat was that vague, but sometimes he did. Mephisto had learned better than to assume he wouldn't, always treat it like a real threat even if it wasn’t, he'd learned that one a while ago.
But still, he couldn't hear his sister trying to workshop her latest plan over the sound of his own unsteady breathing
This had happened before, it was just a thing that happened sometimes, he did his best to hide it but it was starting to feel like it was only getting worse, the fear and the panic
But, he didn't want to worry Praxina or have her think bad of him, so he did his best to keep her from seeing the full extent of it all
So, he tensed his jaw without closing it and pinched his lips into his teeth, trying to focus his eyes, futily hoping that scrunching his eyebrows in a more serious facial expression would somehow help
Praxina would notice his uneven breathing, who wouldn't, so he held his breath for the time being, breathing the last of his breath out through his nose before stopping
Prax was still talking, he tried to focus on what she was saying but it was like he was on an island and she was on the mainland all the way across the sea
He couldn't hear her over the waves.
So he just nodded along, maybe a little too much, he was definitely nodding too much
He probably looked ridiculous
Especially as the breath being kept in his lungs gradually escaped to fill his sealed cheeks
As Praxina spoke the details of her latest plans to deaf ears, Mephisto's heart continued to beat wildly as his mouth filled up with air until his cheeks started turning slightly red from the pressure
She stopped talking and squinted, giving him a weird look
She scoffed and wondered if he was aware of this silly thing he did sometimes when he was pretending to listen, she just hoped he never did it in front of Gramorr, he'd probably give her brother a harder time about it
It was completely ridiculous and the biggest tell she'd ever seen in her life, how could he not notice the strange face he made when he got this lost in his thoughts?
She rolled her eyes and turned away, deciding to just leave him to his thoughts instead of continuing to talk to her brother like this, she'd probably get better results talking to the cave wall at this point
But, she'd let him off easy today, give him a little space, after all, it had been a hard day.
She could tell Mephisto about her plan later, not before giving him a bit of a hard time for not listening to it now, though. She wouldn't let him completely off the hook, what kind of sister would she be then?
Mephisto watched as Prax walked away, finally letting out the breath he was holding with some relief, some of the tension leaving his shoulders
But he could still hear his heart in his ears, feel the way his blood rushed against his skin like it wanted out, the way his lungs felt like they wanted to pop
So, taking the opportunity that was given to him by Praxina turning away, he made his way out of the cave entrance without her actually seeing him go.
He was gone before she even turned around.
Now, he floated up higher on the mountain and found a perch among the scattered rocky terrain, sitting a ways above the entrance to the cave, he faced the trees that expanded for miles, but he didn't see them
His vision had started filling up with little black dots before he even left the cave, he felt like he had some sick sort of tunnel vision and he backed himself up until his back was flush with a rock, the corners of his vision were completely black as he let his breathing devolve into quick puffs back and forth
What had he heard that human call it once? Hyperventilation?
It didn't really matter what it was called, what mattered is it didn't make him feel better, it actually probably made him feel worse, yet he couldn't help but do it anyway as his vision became more and more tunneled
It would pass, it always did, he just hopes his eyes didn't tear up as much as it felt like they did in front of Praxina or that she didn't catch the way his arms started to shake, his whole body was shaking by now, he'd rather she not worry
He hugged his knee to his chest as tears burned down his face like lava
This would pass, it always did
But then it would come back, because even though it always eventually ended, it never really stopped
All he could do was hope it didn't get worse, more frequent, start happening during battle
Because, no matter what
It always came back.