Work Text:
You don't know if your parents were always like this, or if it started when they had you.
You first heard it all aloud when you started kindergarten. Your parents proudly explained how you were ahead of every milestone a child was supposed to reach. You were walking when you were only 9 months old, your first words came not much later and you could speak in full sentences just shy of your third birthday. You could already read, it was hard, but it was worth it when your parents encouraged you so much...
Your parents kept marked calendars of these events, like they were just as important as holidays, as wedding anniversaries. It was a little embarrassing! But who were you to complain when you were brought into gifted courses and given so many opportunities to develop into a real prodigy.
They were so kind, so supportive, so proud. You got everything you asked for, and you always asked for things they liked to hear. You were perfect, told again and again and again you were the greatest gift your parents ever received.
You don't know if your parents were always like this, or if it started when they had him.
Ravy, your little brother, he wasn't like you at all. He was at first, you heard your parents coos and praise and celebration when ultrasounds came up healthy, a steady beating heart. When he was born a healthy weight and size, right on time. Your little brother wasn't broken yet. But then things went wrong... He didn't walk as soon as you did, he didn't talk until he was 4. You didn't know this was important, but apparently you would look into your parents eyes and smile as an infant, Ravy never did.
Your parents gently explained to you how your little brother was fragile... slow... you tried to talk to him once, tell him about what you did at school and how he would like it there. Your mother overheard and commented that Ravy probably couldn't even understand you.
You did notice your little brother took interest in all the books you owned, you saw him flipping through one once. You told your parents your brother was reading, expecting them to be proud, shower Ravy with the same praise they showed you, mark their calendar (where was it anyway? you hadn't seen it in a while) It took a frustrating amount of effort to convince them to come see, and once they did Ravy refused to read out loud for them so they didn't believe he could read it at all. Maybe they were right.
You slowly got used to treating Ravy more as a pet than a brother, a bird or hamster in a cage, good to check in on every once in a while and so so easy to ignore. You still felt pity at his cage, you wanted to make him happy, but you weren't sure if he was capable of an emotion like happiness at all.
Ravy started school, at the elementary school you had just moved on from. You were so happy for him! Now he had all the opportunities you had! One day you accompanied him to class at the start of school since his day started a bit earlier than yours. You were looking forward to seeing your old teacher again! Oh but... this wasn't her, your teacher taught the advanced class and Ravy wasn't like you. He was in a standard class, one for slower students, those you never even interacted with before... Your pity grew. Your distance grew.
Ravy liked music a lot. You let him borrow your phone sometimes (your parents got you one when you were 8) so he could listen to whatever he liked. It was one of the only times you saw him look happy... anything but blank and disinterested, with the slight shadow of misery you pitied so much. Your father yelled at Ravy for "taking" your phone and possibly being able to break it. When you explained that you actually gave him your phone your parents took you aside for another gentle conversation about how Ravy was (not human not human not human) less developed than you. You were told he was unable to take care of things right. You believed it.
You saw Ravy pick the seams of his shirts until they became undone, you saw them file down pencils to stubs and use tiny worn-down erasers, saw them take things apart. And you believed your parents. Ravy couldn't take care of their things, you surely couldn't trust them with yours. You never offered to let Ravy listen to music again.
As time went on more and more opportunities were given to you. You could have skipped a whole grade of school but you decided not to, with that year you instead blew away the science fair competition with your project on cloning plants via cuttings and demonstrating how growing them under different conditions could drastically change them over time. You weren't sure what Ravy was doing, must be nothing, because you never had to attend any events for him.
Life fell more or less back into place as if your family never changed at all. Everything was the same except for this little ghost that followed you around. Never encouraging, never hindering, just there.
One day you heard a buzzing coming from the bathroom. You were in highschool now. You rushed over to find Ravy standing in front of the mirror, razor in hand. You snatched it away from him, Gently Explaining that Ravy shouldn't be touching this kind of thing. He could've ruined his hair! Or broke the razor! or worse, hurt himself... He stared at you for a few moments and walked away without a word... You had to assume he understood but... you were worried.
Later that day you had a conversation with your brother, for the first time in years. You talked about what your parents told you about Ravy, parroting their words. Explaining, gently , that Ravy was broken. He said nothing. You told him he was irresponsible. He said nothing. You told him he never took any opportunities, never seemed to do anything. He said nothing, he wasn't looking at you either. You told him he didn't ever seem happy, never encouraged anyone, never participated! You asked him if he cared about you...
"Fuck no."
...
You were sure that he wasn't always like this, you remember he wasn't born broken, but...
Ravy hated you, it was something you honestly weren't used to, you weren't used to feeling so ignored and unappreciated. No one treated you like that, but Ravy wasn't like normal people. You were always surprised that you were related to someone like Ravy, someone who didn't even seem like the same species as you.
You daydreamed often about how to fix him, how to fill in all these gaps, find all those missing puzzle pieces and make Ravy into the brother you never had. Could you try again? Could something so alien be molded into something human?
You couldn't just rewind time and shape Ravy differently from the very start, and someone so fragile could be broken further! You needed... a test subject... You needed to become the greatest scientist ever known. For your self brother.
