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“You’ll always be Master to me.” Guillermo says. He can hear his heart through his chest, as can Nandor, while he closes the coffin. Something he has done a thousand times before, but this time it was different. What’s done is done. If he wasn’t so caught up in his mourning, he might’ve finally caught Nandor’s look just as the lid closed. That mix of curiosity and…fondness? That Nandor often had, and Guillermo often missed.
He refused to be stuck in the same cycle every single day for the rest of his life. He had lost his youth, his morality, his dreams, his love life… everything to this job. This stupid, stupid job. With people-..vampires who quite frankly, he wasn’t sure cared if he was even here. Aside from the way you care about your car’s AC on a hot day.
It’s just- Guillermo thought as he fled silently from the room and cameras, forcibly smiling as he took off his mic pack. He thought Nandor… cared . For the last few years he had been trying to break away from this nightmare of a job, and Nandor kept bringing him back. Kept dangling this impossible probability in front of his face, not even just the vampire aspect. Something he had cast from his mind over a year ago, it was the…the Nandor of it all.
Guillermo waved goodbye softly to the camera crew. He could feel the tears start to prick the corners of his eyes again and refused to be recorded. He just couldn’t help it, the sadness. He tried, so so hard. He tried dating, working somewhere else, being more involved with his family, with local communities…nothing worked. Nothing was ever what he wanted. Not even being a vampire saved him from the one thing he really wanted.
He leaned back on the door that he closed quietly behind him to his shed- or what he optimistically called his ‘studio’. His clothes were all neatly put away, inside of a suitcase he had bought just last week, hopeful for a trip, a chance to travel the world. Now he would…just alone. He locked the apparatus that he had fashioned to keep the door closed with all the windy nights and nosy recordings.
He looked around, still surprised at how few items he truly owned, most of them were packed all away. Things from his family, things he kept from his first boyfriend, Freddie, the few remnants from his first office job…and the glitter portrait of him and Nandor.
How long ago did Nandor give him that? Guillermo could hardly remember. He honestly did start to feel like every day was the same, like nothing ever changed, like he was stupid for wanting it. But—sometimes—When the
cameras were gone, or off. Nandor would talk to Guillermo, like really talk. About…life, or lack of it, culture, or lack of it….love, or lack of it.
When Nandor came back from the nightmare of his “Wellness Retreat” they sat in Guillermo’s car. Nandor unable to leave, Guillermo unwilling to go. Nandor was a monster who wanted to be human, Guillermo a monster killer who wanted to be a monster. They were the only ones who truly knew that about each other, at a perfect standstill.
They kissed that night.
Guillermo moved to the backseat like a high school girl. One second they were talking, the next they were kissing. Deeply, passionately. At one point Guillermo felt like Nandor was trying to devour him completely, and…Guillermo surrendered to that. Pressed against his own back seat, sweat dripping down the side of his face, he was ready to be completely taken.
And then in a moment, it was gone. Guillermo realized what was happening, as did Nandor. It was done. They weren’t equals, they never would be. Even though for a moment, in their suffering, it felt like they almost were.
He shoved the portrait into his suitcase before closing it tightly. Trying to push away the thought, the memory, the way it made him feel.
That was the then. This is the now. This is what he had. He needed to stop clinging onto nothing waiting for it to materialize.
He saw the lights of the camera crew’s cars fade down the street. He unlocked the door, and heard nothing. Not laughter, not small chatter, not even a cricket or the sound of Laszlo and Nadja fucking. It was perfect. He rolled his suitcase out of the room, and onto the grass. It jumped over rocks and piles of dirt, and he haphazardly swung it into the back of his car. He closed the trunk, and sat in his drivers seat.
As silently as he came, he must go.
His engine turned over, and he immediately shut off the radio. Any other day he would love his 90s-2000s station, but it didn’t seem tonally appropriate.
He backed out of the small driveway that Colin told him—in mind numbing detail—he should park in, and watched the Victorian home fade into the distance. Labia bushes and all.
The tears started to fall, slowly at first, then uncontrollably. They came so fast, his sobs shook his body and he couldn’t see. But he couldn’t care. He needed to leave now. Or else he never would. He accelerated his car, going faster and faster until he could see the highway. He didn’t even know where he was going, just that it was far away. Maybe he’d drive until he ran out of gas and see where that put him. He kept accelerating.
Guillermo was never quick to leave. This, Nandor knew. How could he not? He knew every single thing about Guillermo, more than he knew about himself. Nandor knew that Guillermo’s heart always picked up when there was too much silence, he knew that Guillermo enjoyed being the first to open a door, that he ordered from the restaurant down the street every friday to celebrate the end of the week in a trite human ritual. He knew that Guillermo was kind, and giving, and a little naive, and a lot prudish, and Nandor knew that….he needed him.
He needed Guillermo, and not just out of convenience. Not because of the way he would ensure the whole house was safe, not because of the way that he could anticipate what Nandor wanted so well that he never even had to ask. Not even because after years of not working for them, Guillermo still wanted to be around and protect the house…protect him. No.
It was just Guillermo.
All of him, some of him, all the same. Guillermo always came back because that was what was right. He knew that was right. But this time wasn’t like the others. It wasn’t a fight, or a complicated twisted scenario. It was quiet and final. Nandor could tell Guillermo wasn’t coming back, like…a sense of the spider from that one movie Guillermo made Nandor watch. And that scared him. He couldn’t remember a life without Guillermo, he didn’t want to.
So, to say that Nandor thought it would be easy to catch Guillermo would be an understatement. He threw the lid off his coffin open, half expecting Guillermo to still be standing there, waiting, to say how wrong he was. That he would never leave. He would never do something like that to Nandor. But he wasn’t.
Nandor rushed down the hall and then the stairs, he could still smell the cologne that Guillermo had been using for years. It was like freshly roasted coffee made in a woodshop, he remembered telling Guillermo to stop wearing it one day. That it gave him a headache, Vampires have a much better sense of smell than humans, you know, such smells can be overwhelming. Guillermo nodded and the next day he had just applied less. Eventually Nandor got used to that smell, and even grew fond of it.
The way he did of Guillermo.
Nandor knocked on the door to the shed that Guillermo now lived in and heard no answer. He knocked again, louder this time. Still nothing.
“Guillermo? Guillermo?! Are you in there?!” Nandor demanded. He could see a light on in there, Guillermo never left a light on. It was bad for the earth or some shit. “I’m going to come into your pathetic little house if you don’t answer me!” He shouted.
When there still wasn’t an answer he shoved down the door, which folded perfectly in two. The room was perfectly neat. The bed made, floor swept. There wasn’t even a spare shirt on the floor like there always was because Guillermo didn’t like to sleep in a shirt. Nandor turned around and around in shock. Nothing on the walls, no pictures, no souvenirs from various adventures. Not even the beautiful portrait Nandor had gifted him all those years ago.
In an instant Nandor assumed his bat form, whipping through the night air. Guillermo’s car was gone. It was always parked in the same spot. Nandor could still smell his cologne though. He followed that scent as he dove around corners and under bridges. He still didn’t see any traces of Guillermo.
As he was flying, he struggled to think of what he would say when he did catch Guillermo. What is there to say?
In all his years of his endless pursuit for love, he always came up with the same answer. He took what he had for granted. How can you be immortal and live the same mistakes yet make them over and over, while it still gets worse and worse?
What if he did never find Guillermo? What if he missed his chance forever? Humans were fickle, they never lasted. This was a fool’s errand, acting like there was something here to hold onto. Something that wouldn’t disappear in what felt like the blink of an eye to a creature such as him. A wretched creature. With no home, no family, no love.
He had Colin, and Nadja, and Laszlo, and the Guide. But Laszlo and Nadja had each other. Colin had this ability to blend into the human race and interact with them normally. The Guide…well. Nandor didn’t know what to think about her anymore. He thought he loved her, but he never felt about The Guide like how he felt about Guillermo. And anyway, she had all her little baby wraiths. Everyone had someone.
Everyone but him. Guillermo was supposed to be his. He was all he had. He made Nandor feel almost human. Understood, listened to, connected with. And now he was leaving forever.
Nandor slowed his flight. Guillermo had his family. Guillermo had his job. Guillermo has his life. Nandor would only take that away. That is why Guillermo left him.
That’s why most people did.
Nandor was too selfish. He wanted everything all the time.
He lost Guillermo’s scent. It was done.
Nandor slowly ascended to the ground. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t care. It was empty road. For miles. He took on his human form again. Standing there, with just the moon, and the stars to comfort him. He was on his own. Like he always was, since years and years ago when he lost his kingdom.
Fittingly, he felt like he could hear Alanis Moresette playing. How he loved that strange woman. Her total and utter power that came through in her Jagged Little Pill album. It often soothed Nandor, Alanis had been there. She had been left behind too. It was even Ironic , Nandor…and Guillermo’s favorite song. Nandor wasn’t sure what everything really meant, and Guillermo would incessantly interrupt the song to tell Nandor some stupid fact or about how the situations in the song weren’t ‘really ironic’ And then Nandor would tell him to shut up. He laughed to himself. Maybe this was a sign. He was going to be fine without—
Before he could finish his thought there were suddenly two bright lights in his vision. There was a speeding car hurtling directly toward where he stood in the road. He hardly had enough time to react, he planted his feet to the ground, and held out his arms. He felt the impact before he saw it. Slicing clean through the engine, sending up plumes of smoke. He stumbled back. There was a loud ringing in his ears.
‘A traffic…jam, when you’re already late.’
“Nandor..?” Guillermo asked. He was still strapped into his driver's seat, though, soon it would all collapse. Nandor looked up at him. That stupid half crooked smile formed slowly on his face.
“Guillermo.” He said. “You’ve been crying?”
“Nandor…No, I just…You broke my car!” Guillermo says. He felt a thousand things at once. He thought he just killed someone who was standing in the middle of the highway at almost 5 A.M. but it was just Nandor. Of course it was Nandor. Why did he ever think it would be anyone but Nandor?
‘A no smoking sign…on your cigarette break.’
“I found you!” Nandor said. He was clearly pleased with himself. “You can’t leave. Guillermo,” He took a deep breath, grabbing the other man’s hands off of the steering wheel that he was gripping tightly enough to turn his knuckles white. “You can’t leave me …I…wanted to tell you. But, I didn’t know how.”
Guillermo had to be dreaming. This wasn’t happening. It was too…perfect. It was too right. He had to lower his expectations here. He didn’t want to be hurt again because he was hoping for something stupid. “Master…” He started, shaking his head.
“I’m like…the Sams of Love Actually . I ran through the airport of Staten Island to find you. To tell you…” Just as Nandor began, Guillermo could smell—and feel—heat coming from in front of him.
The engine. It was on fire. His car was about to catch on fire…maybe this wasn’t too perfect.
“Master-”
“Don’t interrupt me now, Guillermo! This is a moment! A moment I’ve been waiting for. I need to tell you that…I’ve been searching. Waiting. For love. For years, decades, centuries. Yet, I didn’t realize that…the whole time…it was in my own home. Right under my nose. Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t say something. After all, for years you were my familiar. You’re kinda supposed to know these things about me…” Nandor clearly was not going to stop talking anytime soon, and the fire was only getting bigger.
“Master, you’re right, I’m sorry. You’re probably going to tell me that the Guide or Colin or someone on the film crew is the love of your life and that’s great but we need to get out of this car right now before it kills us!” Guillermo blurts, trying to take his hands away from Nandor’s to unbuckle his seatbelt.
‘It’s like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife. It’s like meeting the man of my dreams…”
“No Guillermo! It’s YOU! You are the one! I can’t believe I didn’t want to see it!” Nandor says, squeezing Guillermo’s now sweating hands. “Even though your hands are extremely sweaty and human-y and gross…I love you!” he says.
Guillermo pauses, he stares at Nandor, into his dark brown eyes, that were baring into his soul. He quickly shakes his head, “Uh-What-…Me?” He stutters. “Not like… me, me, right? Like some weird clone you made or some freak monster that Laszlo created?”
“No, you. You, like the hands I’m holding now. You like my familiar and bodyguard and confidant. You like the one who has been by my side for years, unwavering. You, Vampire Slaying, glasses wearing, business working, Guillermo De La Cruz. You.”
Guillermo sits there in stunned silence. This couldn’t be happening. He might be sick. Nandor loves him? Nandor. Oh God, what does he say? What does he do? Guillermo loves him too! Of course he does. How could he not? From the second he saw Nandor he wanted him, the unachievable status, the aloof demeanor, his huge arms and hairy chest and pointy canines that would stick out when he laughed. The strange kindness and humanity that was somehow still there after centuries.
He grabs Nandor’s collar and pulls him in for a kiss. The kiss that they never finished, the kiss he’d been wanting for years. No cameras, no microphones, no one but them. Nandor kisses back, but this time Guillermo was determined to be in charge. Hungrily smashing their mouths together, moving his hands to both sides of Nandor’s face, feeling his facial hair poke his palms and cheeks. He puts his tongue into Nandor’s mouth, slowly at first, testing, before going in full force. Nandor lets out a low groan, Guillermo isn’t satisfied. He doesn’t need air, he doesn’t need to think about anything, anything but this. The way the feeling took over his head and arms and legs and hands, as he felt Nandor move down to his neck, kissing and lightly biting, which made his head spin, he wanted to pin Nandor down on the seat and—
“Oh my god. We need to get out, now.” Guillermo says suddenly. Nandor winces.
“Why would you say—“
“Nandor, I’m serious. now!” Guillermo unbuckles himself and practically lunges out of the car, not considering the fact that they were on the highway as a car zips by him, nearly knocking him over. Nandor is quickly there, grabbing Guillermo and throwing him toward a ditch on the side of the road as the car erupts into flames.
“Guillermo…you really need to be more careful…” Nandor starts, propped up over him to protect him from any shrapnel that might’ve come from the flames and subsequent explosion.
“You’re the one who made my car explode!” Guillermo replies, rolling his eyes. “And you just broke my glasses.”
“I’ll buy you new glasses.”
“Yeah, and a new car.”
“I’ll buy you whatever you want.” Nandor sighs, brushing back a curl on Guillermo’s forehead.
“You know, you can’t be mad, but you know that glitter portrait of the two of us that you gave me?” Guillermo asks.
“Of course I do. I spent hours on that.”
“Right….it’s definitely highly flammable and completely destroyed now.”
“
WHAT?”