Chapter Text
Fuck.
Shen Yuan— no, Peerless Cucumber eyes widened as the Sun Winged Cockatrice’s tail smacked him in the stomach, causing him to roll across the ground, his once pristine pigtails matted and tangled.
The bird-lizard didn’t give him a chance to breathe before preparing another Qi blast— how many cultivators has that bitch eaten?! Rolling away and regaining his standing, he desperately screamed at the System.
“WHERE—“ another beam ripped a part of his skirt, “—THE FLYING FUCK IS MY WEAPON?!”
The System was muttering something like ‘not enough B-Points for a weapon’ but the System became the bird’s new target, sending a large beam at the System, who by a hair's breadth, dodged.
Jesus Christ, how the fuck did this happen?
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨ ᰔ ୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
It was universally acknowledged that the world hated Shen Yuan.
This truth was self-evident in the way that at a young age, he was diagnosed with an illness that left him bedridden for most of his childhood. This was evident when back when he attended a private school, a girl stole his first kiss, claiming it was a dare. This was mainly self evident when he read the finale of Proud Immortal Demon Way, and died by a fucking meatbun. Fury pulsed through his veins, and the only way that Shen Yuan could calm down was cursing the fuck out the novel.
Shitty author, shitty novel! How the fuck is he gonna let himself die by a fucking novel and fucking meatbun! 6666 chapters, of what? 6666 chapters full of plot holes, wives, and stupid villains! NPC’s galore, not to mention supposable ‘miracle plants’ that just so conveniently appear when the almighty protagonist, Luo Binghe Arrives! With the exception of the protagonist, everyone seems to have the IQ of a rock! See a woman that you like? Fuck you, that’s reserved for the protagonist! For having feelings, go to hell!
Shen Yuan could not be too critical of the protagonist though. He could boldly announce that anything Luo Binghe did was completely justified. After all, could fault the protagonist, who’s faced suffering after suffering, trauma after trauma, scum after scum? While he was singing praises about the protagonist, a voice similar to Google Translate rang throughout the endless darkness he was in.
In front of him, stood a translucent blue screen.
[Automatic System Code Activated: “Shitty Author, Shitty Novel” ]
Wait, what?
[Welcome to the System. We work in accordance with the motto “You Can You Up, No Can No BB”. Due to unexpected errors in the Soul Extraction System, Host will have to wait. Host is free to ask questions. ]
Before Shen Yuan could question whatever the fuck a ‘Soul Extraction System’ is, another question arose. Transmigrating was fine and all, but it depends on where he transmigrated. God forbid he ends up in “My Days of Sleeping Around Xian Shu Peak” or “At 3:00 AM, I become the Demon Lord and Gain Massive Tiddies.” Not that he read these, of course.
[...]
After a while, the System responded, [Host will be sent to Proud Immortal Demon Way, in accordance with his wish: Turn the trashy book into a high-quality, magnificent, first-rate classic. ]
…
WTF!
If Shen Yuan currently had a physical body, he would be staring wide-eyed at the system, like it just hadn’t told him he was going to transmigrate into the book that literally killed him.
“What the fuck System?! How the hell are you going to transmigrate me into PIDW?! That shit literally killed me!” He shrieked.
As if the System was eager to ruin his (dead!) life, it announced: [Soul Extraction System complete. Host will be sent into the body of: Xiu Ya Sword, Shen Qingqiu. Now loading… 4%]
The Proclamation of Doom™, as Shen Yuan labeled it, was narrowly approaching. He doesn’t have the heart to act like that scum Shen Qingqiu, let alone be him. Although, there isn’t much he can do at the moment.
[28%...]
Small, white pixels started to form underneath him, forming the body he had before he died. Thick glasses, his Hatsune Miku Pajamas, the leftover gum in his pockets that he forgot to throw away, they were all there. The System was in front of him, reflecting his appearance as if it were a mirror.
[52%...]
His hair grew longer, the Hatsune Miku shirt’s sleeves became longer and changed color, his originally black eyes became a vibrant green, and Shen Yuan realised he was screwed. His features became sharper, and a red huadian was on his forehead.
[79%...]
How the hell is the thing loading so fucking fast!? He grasped the System, frantically shaking it, but the damnable screen kept loading. Tearing it, kicking it, stomping on it, nothing seemed to work.
[97%]
Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyfuckingshit–!
At this point Shen Yuan hadn’t understood what exactly he was doing either. All that registered was a crunchy texture in his mouth, and the blaring of the System, and a noticeable bite mark in the System.
[TRANSFER PAUSED! WARNING: USERS ACTIONS WILL RESULT IN A PUNISHMENT PROTOCOL. WARNING— ]
And listen to the System? Hell fucking no. This seems like the perfect chance to avoid his fate! Begin the System Eating ASMR! Did the blaring sirens from the System hurt his ears? Absolutely, but Shen Yuan thought that it tasted good, actually. Eh, there isn’t any flavor, but the texture sure as hell tasted good, maybe some salt next time…
[US3R NeEds To St0p 1mm3dlately–]
Crunch crunch.
[LoAD Ing NeeAresTTT PunIShMEnt PROT OCOL— INSUFFICIENT ENERGY< INSUFFICIENT ENERGY!11!]
[LOADING LEAST ENERGY COST PROGRAM AVAILABLE… PROGRAM LOCATED!]
Shit.
The System's size significantly decreased as he continued chewing, but it isn’t enough to finish in one bite. A blinding light started to envelop him, and he vaguely saw a magic circle underneath him before disappearing among the sea of butterflie— ahem, pixels. Unfortunately, he couldn’t hear the last notification the System sent, as he somehow swallowed the last of the System.
[DING! MAG?čAL G!RL PR0ğRAM §UCC33SSFULLY LOAD3D! THªNK YOU FOR USING THE §YST3M.]
And so Shen Yuan transmigrated.
⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨ ᰔ ୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹
Shen Yuan felt like he was run over by a truck. Twice. The ground underneath him felt rough, which doesn’t make sense, because his Luo Binghe sheets are super comfortable. How long had he been up at night…? He doesn’t bother to open his eyes, he’s way too exhausted to be dealing with this. He tries getting up, but the aching pain in his head is too much, and he lies there for a couple of minutes, before trying again. He rolls, hoping that the migraine will suddenly disappear if he rolls long enough. His head bumps into something way too sharp and rough to be his wall.
Maybe there was something special about that wall, because all the memories from the previous paragraphs– ahem, the memories from earlier came flooding and Shen Yuan immediately sat up straight. Where is he…?
A big ass cave is where he is. Shen Yuan realises that he managed to hit the jackpot because the rest of the walls surrounding him are pointy as fuck. Small sprouts grow in the cracks of the walls and ground, and a small pond lies in the corner of the cave. Shen Yuan crawled toward the pond, the pain slowly subsiding, and looked at his reflection in the water.
The pond reflected the inky black hair and eyes, but if you squint your eyes hard enough, blue light would flicker in his irises. He mainly looked like himself, but unfortunately he seemed to inherit Shen Qingqiu’s resting bitch face. His attire practically screamed peasant, wearing the plainest grey hanfu that might give the Genshin Impact NPC’s a run for their money. Actually, no, because he managed to retain some of his natural beauty, mixed with Shen Qingqiu. You could say he’s 80% Shen Yuan, 20% Shen Qingqiu. Another surprising revelation was that he literally had no shoes.
The only thing that would make Shen Yuan possibly stand out would be his glasses that look way too modern. As expected from Airplane's writing. However, seeing that he isn’t in fancy peak lord clothes made him release a sigh of relief, knowing he isn’t Shen Qingqiu. When he went to inspect the glasses, he noticed a little cat charm on the side. The charm only showed the face of the cat, but the cat charm was made of diamond. He doesn’t remember a plot related to this…
Shen Yuan touched the charm, and a ‘Ping’ sound echoed throughout the cave, and this event has officially become the first mistake Shen Yuan made when coming into this world. Light engulfed him for the second time, and a pink transparent screen appeared in front of him.
{Welcome to the Magical Girl System User~ ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡ This is a support system, originally designed as customer service turned Magical Girl Mascot!}
Shen Yuan was debating on whether to have another meal, or to listen a little longer and have another meal.
{Please down eat this System, User. If User is hungry, he can purchase a box of homemade cookies for 5 B-points. ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎ User currently has 25 B-Points <3 }
25 B-points? Didn’t he have 100 points earlier?
{It seems User had some earlier, but they slowly depleted for some reason… leaving User with only 5 B-points (っ◞‸◟ c) Oh! But User does have one achievement that gave him 20 B-points which is titled…“I Prefer My Systems Raw”... ( ._. )}
{...This System is very terrified, User.}
“As you should be,” Shen Yuan smirked, rising from the ground. “Anyways, the cookies aren’t necessary, but thank you.”
Shen Yuan has multiple questions for this new System, but right now, the best course of action would be to leave this weird ass cave and hopefully find a village to stay in. Of course, if he doesn’t find one, he can use this cave as a home base and become a hermit for the next 800 years. Seriously though…
“Would have it killed you to give me proper clothing?” He muttered, “this long hair is annoying, isn’t there something you have so I can tie this up?”
{User can buy a hair tie for 5 B-points (*ᴗ͈ ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ }
“Sure, go ahead and buy it–wait, what happens if I run out of B-points–!” the system gave him a shocked kaomoji face, and he sighed, “You already bought it, didn’t you?”
{Here’s your bow tie, User! Sadly, there are no refunds (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡}
The bow tie the system gave him was a girly ass pink bow, that completely clashed with the poor peasant vibes he currently has. It's better than nothing though, Shen Yuan does not want to trip on his long hair, so he begrudgingly ties his hair into a braid, swinging it over his shoulder. Next mission: Get out of the cave!
There was only one passageway that led to the exit of the cave, so getting out was a lot simpler than he imagined, and in front of them was a big ass forest, small animals scurrying around, and a path that led presumably to a village. Following the trail, Shen Yuan decided to barrage the System with multiple questions.
“Why do I have this Magical Girl program anyway? Shouldn’t I have become the scum villain?” he questioned.
{Back in the Users' previous world, magical girls were the latest trend, so multiple works of literature were centered around magical girls. Eventually, the popularity of magical girls was so high that a program centered around becoming a magical girl was created. We Support Systems act as the cute mascot that supports the protagonist, and well, offer support.}
{User received the Magical Girl Program due to the Original System’s influence. User ate the previous system, so now he is no longer required to be the scum villain. (•̀⤙•́ ) Although, being a magical girl has its perks! 人･ω･)}
“Like what, gaining super strength and speed?” He scoffed. He definitely could use those abilities right now.
{User is correct! o(〃＾▽＾〃)o User can also earn B-points by defeating monsters, saving the common people, and changing the plot! This is Users main mission, since he is now a magical girl! }
The pretty pink system and the weird transmigrator soon reached a river. It didn’t look harmful, but the thought of getting his already dirty feet wet while walking on grass was bothersome because the trail ended, and now they were officially lost in the woods. He decided to turn back, but the trail that led them here completely disappeared. Instead, there was an array trapping him, and he had no idea how to get out. He tried poking the talismans that formed the array, but nothing seemed to work. It was starting to become midday, and Shen Yuan was starting to get hungry.
{Don’t worry User! We can always eat the cookies that this System made! ( ˙꒳˙ )}
When exactly did you make these cookies…?
“Can’t I just transform or something to break out of here? What if I need to piss?” Shen Yuan asked, concerned. If he stayed here until nightfall, the mobs and plants would start raising hell like they do in Minecraft.
{User can only transform when danger lurks near, this system is afraid. Ah, but this System detects a nearby presence, so User should be fine! ( ✪ワ✪)ノ}
Sure enough, a young man came running towards him, dressed in gold and white robes, carrying a panicked expression, probably confused on how he somehow managed to catch a random teen in his array.