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Our PR Person Made Us Change The Title Of This Video So We Wouldn’t Get Cancelled

Summary:

Sakusa, your turn.” The producer said, breaking up the fight. “Please pick from the bowl.”

“Fine.” He grabbed a piece of paper, read it, and made a face. With an incredibly deadpan tone he said, “Unlike Hannah Baker, people telling me I have a fat ass is the only thing keeping me alive.”

In which MSBY players read out their tweets in a fun (televised) guessing game.

Notes:

which ever PR person thought this was a good idea is definitely getting fired 😂

this fic is brought to you by me really liking this trope and finding it hilarious. there are two more installments (that have been written for a hot minute already) and then the series will be complete!

as always, title is a reference to a fob song with a similar name.

also as always, i own nothing recognizable.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“This is so stupid.” Sakusa says, as they walk into the studio. “I can’t believe they got us to agree. And the bad luck of having us drawn, ridiculous.”

“I volunteered.” Atsumu said, giving him a look. “So I don’t know about you.”

“Me too!” Hinata days, grinning. “I thought it would be fun.”

“Tsum-tsum convinced me so I thought it would be a good time!” Bokuto said, laughing. 

Sakusa gave them a look that was prevalent even through the mask he was wearing, “…So I’m the only one who was told to do this?” 

“Probably to keep us in line.” Atsumu said, smirking. “We are a rowdy bunch.”

“Rowdy is an understatement, Miya.” Sakusa muttered to himself. “I regret every day I’m associated with you.”

“Aww that’s not true Omi.” Atsumu grinned. “How long have we known each other?”

“Too long at this point.” Sakusa said to him. “Let’s get this over with.”

“I wonder what we’re doing?” Atsumu asked, as they watched then set everything up. 

“I’m glad you asked!” The person who met them at the front desk said, “We are playing a game!”

“Okay jigsaw,” Atsumu muttered under his breath. 

He could almost hear Sakusa roll his eyes. Lowly, he said, “Be professional, please.” 

“I’ll do my best.” Atsumu said back quietly, “What’s this game we’re playing?” 

“You all are going to pick from the bowl right here, and figure out who said what tweet.” She said, gesturing to the aforementioned bowl sitting ominously on the table. “The first person to say the right answer gets a point. No points will be deducted for wrong answers. The person who gets the most correct wins.”

“Sounds interesting!” Hinata exclaims. “I bet you’ll have some good guesses Sakusa. You’re pretty smart.”

“We’ll see.” Sakusa responds. “It helps when I’m surrounded by you three, then I look like a scholar in comparison.” 

Atsumu laughs, putting his arm around Sakusa. “Oh, Omi, so modest.”

Sakusa glared at the arm that was strung across his shoulders. “When will you give that nickname a rest?”

Atsumu grins at him. “When it stops bothering you.” 

“I can’t stand you.” Sakusa mutters. “And get your arm off me.”

Atsumu grins back at him. “You love me, you know that.”

“I can’t wait for this to be over.” Sakusa mutters. “When are we starting this?”

“Once the camera man is here, we’ll be all set!” She said, clapping her hands again. “And it looks like he’s walking in now! Great, we can get started!”

She directed where she wanted them, did the beginning part over, and they began. 

Hinata pulls from the bowl, and begins. “If I’m sarcastic with you, it probably means i’m flirting with you, or you really annoy the crap out of me. Have fun figuring out which one.”

“That has to be Miya.” Sakusa says. 

“Tsum-Tsum is a sass master.” Bokuto agrees. “Sometimes it’s hard to tell when he’s serious.”

“Hey, at least I don’t have a flat affect like Mr. ‘I Never Smile’ over here.” Atsumu says, pointing to Sakusa. “I think it would cause him physical pain.”

“Excuse me for not finding joy in your childish antics.” 

“Whatever.” Atsumu says, rolling his eyes. “I think you just need a bit of childlike joy and wonder in your life that I provide.”

“I think I have enough as it is.” Sakusa argued. “I don’t need extra.”

“Your loss.” 

“Right, well…” The producer looked as if she didn’t know how to handle their banter. “Hinata gets the point, since he was the only the one to answer.” 

“My turn!” Bokuto says, eagerly grabbing a piece of paper. “I’m not funny, I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.”

“Oh that definitely is Omi.” Atsumu said, rolling his eyes. “Who else would that be?”

“Correct.” The lady says. “Atsumu? You’re next.”

“Okay, let’s see what I get.” He pulls out the paper and laughs, shaking his head. “It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free! Pouring river water in your socks.” 

“Ooo me!” Hinata said. “I remember saying that.”

“Correct.” The lady said. 

“Why would you do that?” Sakusa asked him, frowning. 

“Because it’s quick, easy, and free, duh.” Atsumu responds. “Keep up.”

“Yeah, Sakusa, keep up.” Hinata agrees.

“I don’t want to hear anything from you.”

“Sakusa, your turn.” The producer said, breaking up the fight. “Please pick from the bowl.”

“Fine.” He grabbed a piece of paper, read it, and made a face. With an incredibly deadpan tone he said, “Unlike Hannah Baker, people telling me I have a fat ass is the only thing keeping me alive.”

The studio was silent for a moment, everyone staring at him. Until Atsumu started laughing loudly. Everyone stared to look at him like he was insane.

“I remember that.” Atsumu said, still giggling. “I think I was with Kawa then. It was like a few years ago.” He looked to the producer, curious. “Wait, how old are these?”

The producer looked to him. “We picked them at random. So whenever your first tweet was sent, I guess.” 

Atsumu’s eyes widened. “Oh, then I bet I have some suspect ones on there.” 

“I wouldn’t doubt it.” Sakusa muttered. “You were a menace in high school.”

Atsumu glared at him. “I was a menace way before that, thank you. Ask my brother, he’ll back me up on that.”

“The one thing you probably wouldn’t fight on.” Sakusa agrees. “I think the only people who bicker more are you and Oikawa.”

“He’s my best friend, Of course I’m bickering with him. He says some stupid shit I have to correct, I say some stupid shit he thinks he has to correct, you know how friends are.”

“…Right.” 

“Next one!” Hinata says, grabbing into the bowl eagerly again. Atsumu is truly amazed at the amount of energy that is contained in his body. “Ooo this is a good one.”

“Haters will see you mixing the elixir of life and ask if it’s FDA approved.” Hinata frowns at that one, thinking. “I don’t know, actually.”

“Well know for sure who it isn’t.” Atsumu said, pointing to Sakusa. “He’s way too lame to say something funny like that.”

“I think it was Bokuto.” Sakusa says, looking at the producer. “Am I right?”

“Hey don’t ignore me!”

“You’re correct!” She says, smiling.

“You know how to spell elixir?” 

“Hey!” Bokuto says, pouting. “I can spell.”

Atsumu leaned into talk into Sakusa’s ear. “How much you want to bet he asked Keiji how to spell it?” 

“None.” Sakusa said just as quietly. “He probably googled it.”

“Hey!” Hinata said, turning to them. “What are you two whispering about?”

“Who’s going to get the next one?” Atsumu said slyly, grabbing the next one. “Which is me.”

They continued playing the game, with Atsumu winning, which he thought was hilarious. 

“Well that was painless, right?” The producer said, grinning. “Thanks again, guys. I have a feeling this one is going to be great.”

“Meian better never ask me to do this again.” Sakusa muttered. 

“Hey, it could have been worse.” Atsumu said, rolling his eyes. 

“How?”

“We could have had to read thirst tweets.” Atsumu pointed out. “Which would not have been as nearly amusing.”

“Not used to people thirsting over you?” Sakusa asked, amused.

“Oh no, that comes with the territory.” Atsumu said, waving him off. “I mean the fact that people like me enough to thirst over me is unbelievable. Plus I really don’t want to read whatever weird shit people have to say about me.”

Sakusa gives him a deadpan look, like he’s really questioning Atsumu’s intelligence. “Are you purposely dense or is that all natural?” 

“…What?”

“I don’t understand you.” Sakusa said, walking away. 

“…What was that all about?” Hinata asks him, as he walks up. 

Atsumu blinks, as confused as Hinata was. “I have no idea.” 

Notes:

thanks again for reading!