Archive of Our Own

Things were… good.

They were good.

Ever since the Dead Boy Detectives had been officially taken on as a subsection of the Afterlife Department, there was a weight that had been taken off of their shoulders. It hadn't fully registered just how much that fear had been crushing him until the pressure was gone.

Sure, maybe there was a small part of Edwin that whispered in the back of his mind that it could all be taken away from him again, even after all the long months since their official enlistment; however, the whispers were easy to ignore when compared to the relief that he felt when he and Charles had been allowed to remain together, doing the work that they both loved.

It had taken a while to get used to the new way that things were running. It wasn't a massive change, all things considered, but it was still significant enough to require adjustment.

The Night Nurse – who had reluctantly agreed to being called Charlotte – had set up an office for herself down the hall, and had since taken over all of the bureaucratic work. Sometimes, she would come to them with special priority assignments as well, but for the most part they were still allowed to prioritise cases as they saw fit.

Crystal had also become a permanent fixture in their lives. What had originally been intended as a temporary arrangement had turned into an official job and place to stay. One of the other rooms in their office building had been renovated into a fully functional flat, where she now lived. It had been good for her to get away from her parents and work through her memories with the support of her friends; the people that truly cared for her.

Edwin might have been hostile towards her at first, and it certainly took a long time for him to warm up to her, but she was bright, motivated and passionate, and in the end, it was easy for honest affection to take root. She was sort of like a sister to him at this point, and he could finally admit that it was nice to have more people around.

It felt… lively.

It was something that he had never even dreamed of having when he was alive, with his distant parents, uncaring teachers and cruel peers. For once, after he had been dead for over 100 years, there was warmth in his life, and he had found a family.

Still. As good as things were, there were still some parts of it that were… difficult for him. He was happy that his confession on the way out of Hell hadn't damaged his friendship with Charles in any way, and he was happy that – if anything – they had gotten closer in that aspect. However, there was a slight discomfort that he could not shake when seeing Charles and Crystal's romantic relationship developing.

He wasn't jealous (at least, he was fairly confident that he wasn't), but Charles would always be his first love, and letting that go was… hard. He wanted to move on from those romantic feelings and allow them to settle back into platonic friendship, he wanted to be happy for the two of them without the dull ache in his heart.

He was lonely.

It was in moments like that, when his heart ached and he felt the dark tendrils of loneliness creeping into his chest, that he thought of a kindred spirit. Someone who understood. He thought of a small scar above a teasing smile, of drawn-out honesty and of warm golden eyes that danced with longing, like the flickering of an open flame, of someone whose heart sang the same song of sorrow and hope as his own.

The Cat King had been right, of course. Edwin missed him.

Their time together had been an awakening, a revelation that perhaps those parts of Edwin that he had kept hidden for so long, were worth sharing, and perhaps – dare he say it – worth celebrating . Though in the grand scheme of things, it had been a fleeting entanglement (if it could be considered as such), Edwin found that each moment spent in the Cat King's company lingered in his mind.

It was perhaps odd, the way that something in the Cat King had spoken to Edwin and vice versa, in some subtle and significant way. They were so different as people, and yet so alike in heart. How on earth could he have ever been expected to withstand the gravity of that? It was only by sheer force of will that he had resisted returning to the court of his lonely king.

He was fascinating as he was irksome.

Perhaps it was time for a visit.

-----

“ I will be unavailable tomorrow from 9PM and may be gone for several hours.” Edwin said to Charles and Crystal the following evening.

The pair of them looked between each other and at him with almost matching expressions of confusion. Edwin didn't often go out on his own for any reason and certainly didn't usually go anywhere without Charles. Of course, since the addition of Crystal to their midst, that had changed in that she and Charles would spend quality alone time together while Edwin stayed in the Office by himself or went out for night walks. Still, to announce it as such was out of the ordinary.

“ What's going on tomorrow from 9PM?” Charles asked, walking over to lean against the desk where Edwin was seated.

“ You got yourself a dinner date?” Crystal joked, leaning her elbows on the arm of the sofa and resting her chin atop her folded hands.

Charles looked at her with alarm and then back to Edwin for confirmation. He was likely worried at the prospect of being left in the dark about a potential romantic entanglement on Edwin's part. It was why Edwin intended to be forthcoming about his plans and where he was going. Hiding his interactions with the Cat King the first time that they had been in Port Townsend had only led to Charles becoming hostile and anxious, and he did not particularly want a repeat of such a scenario.

“ I am going to Port Townsend.” He said, taking a moment to gauge his friends' reactions before continuing. “I intend to pay a visit to the Cat King.”

“ Are you sure that's a good idea?” Crystal asked, straightening up in her seat, as opposed to her previously relaxed posture.

“ Why do you want to visit the Cat King ?” Charles questioned with a deep frown. “That wanker caused us nothing but trouble.”

He had expected this response from the two of them and although it warmed his heart to know that they cared for him and worried for his well being, he also didn't need to be overprotected or questioned on his judgement. He was glad that he had brought this up before going through with his plans, as he was certain that had he waited any significant length of time to broach the topic, that the reaction would have been significantly worse.

More than that, he did not want to re-begin his potential relationship with the Cat King on the wrong note, did not want to taint something good with lies and secrecy.

“ He is like me, in more ways than one.” Edwin began, noting the understanding look that crossed Crystal's face and the conflicted one worn by Charles. “I was only able to confront and accept a certain part of myself through my interactions with him. It was something so normal to him, a part of his own identity that he wore completely unabashedly, parading it around. And, though I am most definitely not the type of person to be quite so flamboyant, I would like to become more confident.” Edwin took a moment. Words so candid on topics so personal and private were not his forte.

“ You think he can help you to be more confident about liking men?” Crystal asked, uncharacteristically soft in her tone.

“ I do.” Edwin replied after a short, deep breath. It was still a bit much to hear it said so plainly. “Though admittedly, it is not my only reason for wanting to see him.”

“ What's the other reason?” she asked, again in that oddly soft tone.

Charles was disconcertingly quiet.

“ I know that there is far more to him than he lets on, and I cannot help the urge to satisfy my curiosity. He is… fascinating.” Edwin answered.

“ Is that all this is?” Charles turned to look at him directly. “Curiosity?”

“ Of course not.” Edwin's reply was quick and firm. “I would not want to pursue a connection of any kind without the appropriate sincerity.”

“ I didn't think you would, mate, just had to ask.” Charles smiled. “I don't trust the shifty git as far as I could throw him, but if this is something that you really want, I'm all for it.”

Neither Edwin, nor Crystal could control their surprise at the acceptance of the situation. After all that had happened in Port Townsend and the abundant hostility that Charles showed towards the Cat King, neither of them had expected him to be so calm about Edwin returning.

“ I don't like him, but if you do , then there must be something I'm just not seeing, yeah? I trust your judgement on this, and if it all goes pear-shaped, I'll be right there to smash his whiskery face in with my cricket bat, won't I?” Charles grinned and clapped Edwin on the shoulder, reassuringly.

He didn't think that it would have been possible at that moment to adequately express how grateful he was for their support of his decision. This was not something that he had come to on a whim, but rather something that he had thought about at great length and weighed the potential benefits and downsides of in his mind for months. He was glad, once again, to have friends that he could rely on.

-----

Edwin left through the mirror in their London office at nine o'clock in the evening, on the dot, and arrived in Port Townsend at precisely midday. It was an odd juxtaposition, from dark evening to perfect daylight in a blink, but it was something that he had long grown accustomed to with mirror travel.

The sky was clear, but for a few wispy white clouds and the ocean lapping at the docks reflected the clear blue in its calm waters.

It was odd to be back in Port Townsend after everything that had happened there. When he had left with Charles and Crystal he had thought that it would be for the last time, and hadn't planned on ever returning to the coastal town. However, in retrospect, that thought had been rather naïve. He should never have assumed that he would be able to leave the Cat King completely in the past. The other man had lived in the corners of his mind, and occupied so many of his thoughts in moments of solitude.

He felt a buzzing underneath his skin as he approached the entrance to the Imperial Pacific Cannery; an undeniable anticipation that gradually increased with every step.

There were several cats dotted around the outside, all of which he recognised as ones that he had counted before. It was strangely comforting to see their familiar faces and patterns, and he wondered if he would feel comforted when he finally saw the Cat King again.

“ You're late.” the small grey tabby cat that he had leashed for information told him as he reached the door. “We didn't think it'd take you this long to come back.”

“ I apologise for my tardiness.” Edwin said, somewhat surprised that they had been expecting him at all. Perhaps he had underestimated the Cat King's interest in him.

“ Save it for the king. He's the one who deserves the apology.” the cat stuck its nose up at him. “It's Meatball by the way. Don't forget it.” Meatball finished, before walking off to join a couple of other cats that had been lounging in a patch of sunlight.

Edwin felt guilt creeping into his heart as the words settled in. It seemed that he had indeed underestimated the Cat King's interest, and that he had perhaps also treated his feelings with disregard in the process. Already, he felt as though he had stared out on the wrong foot. He hoped that the Cat King was in a forgiving mood.

He took a steadying breath and walked inside.

The interior of the cannery hadn't changed at all since the last time that he had been there, apart from the fact that it seemed as though the floor had been recently cleaned. Light filtered in through the high windows, illuminating the throne of pallets and the dais it was raised up on, appearing as little diamond shapes where shadows cast by the netting strung from the ceiling blocked its path.

Upon the throne, was a small black cat, with sleek, perfect fur. He had been filled in about what had happened to the Cat King for helping him by Crystal, a while after they had all returned to the agency. He had wanted to return immediately at that revelation, but the want was outweighed by self-blame at the time, and he hadn't thought that he could bring himself to look the Cat King in the eye.

Looking at him now, as he dozed on his throne, he did not feel any of the conflict or guilt that he had been expecting, but rather, a warm sensation spread through him at the sight. He wondered what it would be like to run his fingers over that soft fur. Would he feel it the same way that he might have if he was alive? The same way that he had felt every touch and brush of the Cat King's hands on him before? Would it be warm?

It had been so, achingly long since he had last felt warmth.

As he pondered this, the Cat King slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times as he adjusted to the light and the haze of sleep cleared. Edwin wondered briefly if a king of cats dreamed the same way that he used to, if his fading memories of what it had been like to be able to sleep could still be relied upon.

Once the Cat King registered that Edwin was there, and watching him no less, it took only a moment for him to combust in a glorious plume of purple fire, and walk out of it in his human form, the remnants of magic flickering off of him as he moved.

His dark hair fell in softer almost-curls than the last time that they had seen each other, no longer styled into those tight finger-waves. The style suited him well, the rigidity of all that product hadn't felt entirely befitting of such a free and untameable man.

He dressed in all black garments, a long and luxurious robe over a form-fitting velour turtleneck with a heart-shaped peep hole, which was paired with fitted leather trousers and his signature boots. He accessorised with a simple silver chain and a single dangling earring that was a string of silver stars. His eyes were framed with a thin line of smoky shadow, a silver highlight in the inner corner. All of those cold tones only served to bring out the fiery golden heat of his gaze.

By all accounts, he was beautiful.

“ Edwin. I was starting to think that you might not be coming.” his tone was somewhat playful, but it was undercut by a sadness that was mirrored in his eyes.

Edwin resolved to himself that he would not underestimate the Cat King again.

“ I apologise that I was not able to come by sooner. Things got rather hectic once we returned to London. The agency has been officially taken on as a part of the Afterlife Department and it has resulted in rather a large influx of work. I do not feel that it is an entirely adequate excuse, but it has all been rather overwhelming.” Edwin explained. “A part of me also felt that I shouldn't return, but I missed you. ” the corners of his mouth ticked up. It wasn't a happy smile, but it wasn't a sad one either.

The Cat King seemed to contemplate Edwin's words for a while, mulling them over. Then, he stepped closer, into Edwin's space and fixed the lapel of his coat, smoothing a hand over it and leaving it to rest over his chest for a prolonged moment.

“ Well, congratulations on the promotion, Detective~ It's good to see you again.” He looked up into Edwin's eyes. “I missed you, too.”

The sound of the Cat King's voice was like a balm, soothing and resonant. He could happily curl up in it, like a cat curled up before a fireplace, wrap it around himself like a blanket. He had not expected such deep and intense feelings to overcome him upon their reunion. Perhaps he should have taken the phrase 'absence makes the heart grow fonder ' a tad more seriously.

“ If you are amenable, I would like to get to know you.” Edwin said, hoping that the Cat King would want to be known. “For us to get to know each other.”

“ If I am amenable...” the Cat King echoed the words in an astounded whisper. “Edwin, I can think of no greater pleasure.” he smiled.

The time that they spent together that afternoon was largely dedicated to catching up. Edwin told the Cat King all about how the Agency was running now that they were official Afterlife employees, and went into detail about some of their more interesting or exciting cases, the Cat King listening with rapt attention and openly enjoying being regaled with their ghostly capers.

Meanwhile, the Cat King told Edwin about the changes that had been happening in Port Townsend ever since Esther had been permanently removed from the picture. Without the dreadful witch around, the magical and uncommon beings had re-sown their roots and some semblance of order and balance was slowly returning. The magical leaders of the primary domains of Port Townsend had assembled a council to establish boundaries and treaties and so far, it had been going as well as it could.

It was nice to share the details of his daily life and of his work with someone who wasn't directly involved in every part of it. It was nice to talk about it all in this context and to hear about the Cat King's life in turn. It was obvious that the Cat King felt the same, too.

“ Edwin?” The Cat King called out to him as he was about to leave for the evening, after several hours of pleasant conversation.

Edwin turned back to face him, curious.

“ Come back soon?”

Edwin nodded with a smile. “Of course. I very much enjoyed getting to spend this time with you, and I look forward to being able to do so again.” he said, “Until next time.”

“ Edwin!” The Cat King called out again.

Again, Edwin stopped in his tracks and turned around.

“ Call me Thomas?” The Cat King looked so hopeful as he made his request that Edwin felt his heart jump in response.

Edwin smiled again, with more warmth than before. “Until next time, Thomas. ”

-----

The next few days passed by in a blur. There had been a slew of cases brought to them directly from the Afterlife Department and all of them had required the full range of their abilities and pushed the limits of their knowledge and experience. It had been worth it though, for the spirits that had been able to move on, and for what they had all learned from it.

It also didn't hurt that it had helped to improve and solidify their reputation as a fully sanctioned detective agency. It was a learning curve, getting used to not having to constantly be on the run, constantly evading Death.

Sometimes, after cases, Edwin would still feel that lurch of anxiety in his chest, those cold shadows swirling through him. Sometimes, he felt the heat of that red light behind him and would have to shake away the dropping sensation in the pit of his stomach, the dread that spread through his every limb at the memory of that place. Sometimes he still felt like running, like that creature was still hot at his heels.

He was working through it, in his own way, but he was unsure if he would ever reach a point in his afterlife where that fear no longer haunted him, where he could watch on confidently that he would never be forced to return to that place. He did not know if it would ever truly sink in that he was free.

He didn't know if he could let himself believe that whatever higher-ups there were, weren't poised just around the corner waiting for him to step out of line and give them an excuse to send him back to Hell.

It probably wasn't healthy, but there weren't exactly a large number of ghost therapists hanging about, at least not many with up-to-date knowledge and expertise.

Thankfully, with Charles and Crystal around in the office more often than not, he wasn't usually given enough time to dwell on such lines of thought for very long. He did not like to linger on fear, and they gave him something to hold onto in the present, and something to offer hope for the future.

They had been working through the parameters of their relationship over the past month and had tentatively started calling each other “boyfriend and girlfriend”. There was a small part of Edwin's heart that twinged at the knowledge that Charles would never feel that way about him, but the far larger part was happy to see the two of them being happy together. He hoped that he would be able to find that kind of love and affection with someone of his own one day.

Against his will, this led his mind to once again drift to the Cat King… Thomas .

What a wonderful and unexpected bond.

Thomas was similar to himself in so many ways, and yet unlike anyone he had ever met before in all of his long years. He wanted to explore all of those ways that they were similar and all of those ways that they were different.

As Edwin looked at Charles and Crystal getting cozy on the sofa together, the standing lights casting a warm glow over them in the night time ambience of the office, he thought that maybe he should give them some alone time.

-----

“ Welcome back, sweetheart~” the Cat King drawled, sending Edwin a playful wink and a lip bite as he approached the throne.

He was draped across his throne in a black lantern-sleeve shirt with the buttons opened all the way down to the top of his abdominal muscles, paired with a flowing black skirt that was hiked up at the sides to expose his calves and just the barest hint of thigh. This time, his silver jewellery had a few more layers of chains, the earring a simple small hoop, and now extended to his fingers, which were adorned with ornate and layered rings.

Edwin did his utmost to fight away the thoughts that the attire provoked (namely the thought of being allowed to run his hands over those legs and under that skirt). He did not visit the cannery with such activities in mind, though avoiding the thought of them entirely would be a fruitless endeavour. This would not be the first time that the man had evoked such...provocative moments of imagination and he sorely doubted that it would be the last.

“ Good afternoon, your majesty.” Edwin greeted coyly, causing the Cat King to raise a brow in question.

“ I thought I asked you to call me Thomas?” he said.

“ You did.” Edwin tilted his head in affirmation. “However, I thought it might fluff your ego a little to hear your title.”

“ And what might you want from me that you see fit to fluff my ego ?” he asked, lowering his cadence into something almost sultry at the end.

“ Just a little more of your time.” Edwin smiled.

“ I'll always have time for you~” Thomas responded, before giving Edwin a more analytical once-over. “You have that pensive look about you. Want to tell me what's actually on your mind? What made you come back to me this time?”

Edwin thought that that was a peculiar way to phrase it. His answer had been honest though admittedly there had been other things on his mind before he had made his way through the mirror and found himself back in Port Townsend (precisely where he had intended to be).

He mulled it over in his head, whether or not to be completely candid and blunt, or whether to keep some things a little closer to his chest, but ultimately, he decided that it would not benefit him to skirt the topic.

“ It was Charles and Crystal.” Edwin started, watching Thomas' face closely for changes in expression, noting that he seemed to tense at the mention of Charles. “They have finally put a name to their relationship and have been working together to strengthen their connection. I admit that I do feel a certain level of envy.”

Again, being so honest and forthcoming with how he was feeling did not come naturally or easily to him. Nevertheless, it did feel good to talk about such topics with someone who he knew would not judge him or think any less of him for his innermost thoughts and feelings. It was odd – as many things tended to be with the Cat King – to trust in such a way, with such ease.

'I like your secret parts,’ he had said, and it seemed that he had meant it.

Thomas had an unreadable sort of expression on his face before it softened. “There's plenty more fish in the sea, Edwin. Just because Charles doesn't love you that way, it doesn't mean no one does.” he said, blunt, but kind in that unique way of his.

“ Does?”

“ Will. ” Thomas corrected himself, not having noticed his slip up until Edwin pointed it out.

Edwin smiled to himself at that, knowing that Thomas would surely see it, even if he ducked his head. He knew that Thomas was attracted to him, and with each interaction, he became more curious about how far it went, about how far it could go if given the chance.

They say that curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

“ Thank you, Thomas,” Edwin said, heart-warmed, and took a few steps closer to the Cat King's throne, “I ought to clarify, though, that I am not upset that Charles is not that way inclined towards me… it is more so that I desire to experience a romantic relationship of my own. I want to know what it is like.”

“ It's not always all it's chalked up to be, ghostie.” Thomas said, sounding melancholic.

“ You have been in love before, then?” Edwin asked.

“ I have been alive for over three-hundred years, Edwin. Of course I've been in love.” Thomas manoeuvred himself so that he was leaning over the arm of the throne closest to Edwin, bringing them face-to-face. “Romance is nice and all, but usually, it only brings pain… and worse, disappointment.”

“ When we met, you didn't seem the romantic type. More so the type for casual relations.” Edwin said, almost instantly regretting the sound of it as it left his mouth. It sounded far too flippant.

“ Someone like me doesn't fit well with romance?” Thomas scoffed. “Shocking revelation, detective. Bravo. You're hardly the only one to come to that conclusion.”

It was derisive and unpleasant. The way his tone changed into something defensive and hurt, gave Edwin pause. Thomas had said himself that romance was often painful and disappointing, so it would be reasonable to assume that it would not interest him. However, this did not seem to be the case at all. He was endlessly intrigued by the different layers to Thomas, by the things that encouraged his boldness, made him smirk, what made him angry, and what made him vulnerable. Edwin wanted to sift through all of those layers to the heart of him, and wasn't that just something?

“ Am I wrong?” Edwin asked, not meaning to insult, but rather being curious again.

“ I went to great lengths just for the opportunity to be close to you, I came to rescue you when you were being led into a trap, I openly desired you, brought you flowers.” Thomas listed, “Is that not romantic?”

“ No.” Edwin replied bluntly, and the expression on Thomas' face was highly displeased. “It was not all bad, but it was, for the most part, highly inconvenient and largely self-serving. Though, admittedly, the flowers were genuinely very thoughtful. And, I am grateful to have been warned about Esther's trap. I know that you suffered greatly for that particular act of aid.”

“ I hate to say it, but I really don't know what you expect from me. Sometimes I think I've figured it out, but… I'm usually good at this.” Thomas sighed, deflated. “You are a fascinating puzzle.”

“ Was that an insult or a compliment?” Edwin smiled, “I don't really know the details myself. How could you possibly know? It would be terribly unfair to you, for me to expect you to somehow read my mind for thoughts that I struggle to parse on my own.” he took one more step closer. “It should also be noted that romance and the performance of romanticism are different things.”

That gave Thomas pause for thought.

Edwin watched the thoughts race behind the other man's eyes and felt himself being drawn in by the complexity of it. He tried to hide much of his honest heart with flirtations and cocky, seductive smirks, but he could not hide the truth in his eyes. Perhaps it had been the first time that Edwin had called the Cat King out on his tendency to cover his loneliness with shallow distractions, but ever since it was as though the illusion had shattered. There was very little now that Thomas could do to hide from Edwin's observation.

“ You're not wrong,” he sighed again, accepting the statement. “Lust is easy. Changing form to fit whatever someone desires is simple. It works. A deeper love is complicated, it opens you up to a special kind of hurt. Carnal desire is what I'm good for.”

“ For?”

“ At.”

“ Maybe… maybe not.” Edwin frowned.

“ It worked on you didn't it?” Thomas raised his voice and stood from his throne, marching down from the dais to be on level with the ghost. “I turned you on, turned into your little friend and gave you your gay awakening or whatever. I can be anything you want.” In frustration, Thomas transformed into Charles again, and leaned into his space. “and I know what you want .”

Edwin didn't react. He knew this charade already.

“ You should change back.” he said, unamused.

“ Why? You like this don't you?” Thomas stared him down, using Charles' face.

“ I care for Charles, because he is my best friend. He is good and kind, and a far better person than I.” Edwin would not back down. “Our friendship infinitely outweighs anything else I might have felt. You should not do this. I do not want you to be him .”

“ You're not even a little bit curious what you could do to me like this?” Thomas pressed, knowing that he was crossing several lines at this point. “You don't want to play with me?”

“ Absolutely not.” Edwin snapped, firmly shutting it down. But, then his expression and tone softened into something so gentle that it hurt Thomas to look at it. “Please, I much prefer you as yourself, Thomas.”

Thomas reeled back as though he had been struck, abruptly reverting to his original form. Dark waves, androgynous clothing that accentuated his natural figure, that small scar above his lip and those searing golden eyes, now swimming with uncertainty.

Edwin closed the gap between them again, and without thinking too much about it, reached up to cup the side of the Cat King's face. “There you are… much better.”

Thomas stepped just out of his reach again and looked away. “You can't say things like that. You can't… you can't say that to me.”

“ It is the truth,” Edwin said, plainly. “and for what it is worth, you don't have to do all that. ” he quoted Thomas to himself, mirroring their first meeting.

Thomas' head snapped back to him at that. “Edwin-” he warned.

“ I want you to know me, Thomas. I want to know you as well. In order for that to happen, you actually have to be you .” Edwin continued. He couldn't just let things be. “You don't have to pretend with me.” He needed to get his message across somehow, in a way that Thomas would understand. “ I like your secret parts.”

Thomas looked like he didn't know what to do with himself. People didn't look that deeply into who he was, people didn't see him, people didn't pay attention, people didn't care. But if things were how they appeared to be (and he really did question it given its unlikelihood), then Edwin cared. Edwin wanted to know him. Edwin liked his secret parts.

And wasn't that just terrifying?

Edwin felt his heart flip at the way that Thomas looked up at him. He had never experienced such a profoundly intense sensation aside from the times that he had felt it with Thomas, and something in the back of his mind (or maybe the forefront) was starting to get ideas for what it was that he wanted from him.

Maybe it was time for him to really cast the line.

-----

Edwin was feeling a little off-kilter since his last interaction with the Cat King. It had not gone the way that he had thought it would, but he couldn't quite call it bad. He had learned a lot about the other man after all, even if it had been under rather complicated circumstances. He had shown no small level of vulnerability and Edwin wanted to make sure, somehow, that Thomas knew that he didn't have to compare himself to anyone else (especially not to Charles).

The way that Edwin felt about the two of them was completely different.

Edwin had loved Charles romantically, yes, but it had been easy to allow that to transform back into platonic love once he had been afforded some closure regarding the nature of their relationship. They were best friends, and that was all that they needed to be.

Besides, Edwin wasn't lacking in options. It could not be denied that he had felt something real for the Cat King right from the beginning. At first it had been a simple attraction (well, perhaps not simple, exactly), but it had developed from that into something with far more potential as their encounters progressed.

There was nothing hanging over them anymore, not since the bracelet had come off, and Edwin was eager to see what they could become without restraints or obligations, or mixed feelings blocking their path. Already, there was affection, and Edwin had no doubt that it would continue to grow.

It was also clear, however, that Thomas had some fairly significant self-esteem issues that both he and Edwin would need to overcome. It was eating at the back of his mind, the way that Thomas had been phrasing the things that he had said, the changes in his expression and tone. He wanted to assure that Thomas knew his value, and that he did not need to put on a performance for Edwin's approval.

As soon as the agency's next two days of cases were all tied up and the paperwork had been filed, Edwin let Charles and Crystal know where he was going and headed back to Port Townsend.

He speed-walked so fast he was practically jogging as he went from the broken mirror he had stepped through to the cannery by the docks. A few of the cats outside gave him oddly knowing looks, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was excited to see Thomas again, there was no two ways about it.

The moment he stepped inside, he was greeted by the vision of Thomas appearing in front of him in a purple flash. He was dressed in dark trousers and a fuzzy sea-blue jumper covered in a repeat pattern of orange goldfish that made it look as though they were swimming all over him. It stood out against the rest of the black that he wore and contrasted with the gold of his eyes. It was outside of his usual style in its level of whimsy and choice of colours, but the fabric certainly seemed luxurious enough.

It was… sort of cute.

“ Edwin!” Thomas exclaimed, a smile lighting up his features.

“ Thomas, it is good to see you.” Edwin smiled back, politely, attempting to hold back the true level of happiness that he felt upon seeing the other man.

“ I thought of the perfect place to take you for a date.” he proclaimed, looking very proud of himself.

“ A date?”

“ You want us to get to know each other better, right? That's what first dates are for.” Thomas replied, though he was starting to look a little hesitant.

“ Dates are of a purely romantic nature… are they not?” Edwin asked. He absolutely had the intention of pursuing the Cat King in such a way, but he hadn't expected it to be such a simple matter to go about. Especially after the tumultuous experience that was their last conversation.

Thomas looked a little crestfallen at the question, but hid it well. “It doesn't have to be, if you don't want it to. I just thought-” he shook his head. “No, never mind. Do you want it to be romantic?”

“ I had intended to attempt it, but I hadn't anticipated that it would be such a simple topic to broach.” Edwin admitted, feeling in two minds about skipping over the elephant in the room. It appeared that Thomas did not wish to discuss it. At least, not yet. “I would like it, if it was.”

Thomas' smile was back full-force. “You, Detective Payne, are utterly charming.”

“ Charming? I've hardly done anything.” Edwin was taken aback by the sentiment. He searched Thomas' eyes for any hint of mockery, but found only fondness.

“ Mmm.” Thomas hummed in agreement.

If Edwin was capable of blushing, then he certainly would have been then.

“ Where is it that you will be taking me to, then?” He asked, after clearing his throat. Goodness. What was this bashfulness?

Rather than replying with words, Thomas simply held out his hand for Edwin.

Edwin took it.

-----

Edwin didn't know if he would ever get used to the world-bending feeling of being teleported by the Cat King's magic, but when they arrived at their destination, he found that he could overlook the dizzy feeling that it left him with.

“ An aquarium?” Edwin looked around the entrance lobby, the walls covered in murals of turtles and sharks, seahorses and starfish.

“ I thought that you might enjoy it. This one has some pretty big tanks.” Thomas smiled again, backing towards the ramp that would lead them up to the first floor of the aquarium. “Come on, no one else is here.”

“ No one?” Edwin followed after him, unable to quell that inherent curiosity he possessed.

“ Not a soul.” Thomas winked before turning around, leading the rest of the way.

The first room was all open tanks, aside from two on the left hand side that were built into a wall and contained the egg sacks of two different types of skates that were in the open tanks.

It was odd to be there in the middle of the night, with no sound but their own footsteps, the gentle swishing of water and the electric hum of the tank filters. The overhead lights were dim, but more than enough to see around. It was sort of atmospheric.

The two of them hardly spoke as they followed the path through the different hallways and rooms filled with various tanks of sea creatures. A lot of them were smaller, full of weaver fish, or shrimp, or starfish. It was fascinating to read over the little information cards next to each one, especially when he got to the cuttlefish and the one solitary octopus.

He had briefly wondered if it was irritating for Thomas, that he kept stopping to read the entirety of every single one, but when he glanced over, the Cat King just looked increasingly fond and Edwin didn't know what to do with himself when he was looked at in such a way.

The first large tank was so enormous that it required an open space where the upper floor became a balcony instead of a ceiling. There were rows of chairs lined up in front of it and information panels at the front. It must have been at least two storeys high and covered the wall from end to end.

Edwin walked up to the glass in fascination. He had never seen anything like it. The fish seemed to be incredibly active, but it would make sense that they had no concept of night or day when confined to constantly-lit tanks. It didn't seem to bother them though.

“ Look, over there.” Thomas pointed to a large rock that was part of the tank's rather impressive environment. “There's an eel inside.”

Edwin moved closer, ever curious and, lo and behold, there it was, its body blending in with the colour of the rocks almost perfectly. It was inside a small hole that must have stretched all the way through the rock to the other side.

“ I have never seen most of these creatures up close before.” Edwin said, awed as a small shark passed him by. “What made you decide on this place?”

“ I said to you before that there were plenty more fish in the sea. I thought you might like to see some, in a more literal sense.” Thomas smiled.

“ You were right.” Edwin found his own lips twitching up at the sides. This was a truly fascinating endeavour. He was glad that Thomas had chosen the aquarium and he was glad that it was Thomas who had brought him there.

The two of them watched the tank for a while longer before Edwin broke the silence again.

“ Will we be talking about our previous meeting?” he regretted asking it as soon as the question was out of his mouth. The atmosphere became instantly tense and he missed the quiet peacefulness of the moments prior.

“ What do you want me to say?” Thomas asked back. “What do you want to hear?”

“ I am not certain. But, I feel that there must be something. It does not feel right… to leave it unacknowledged.” Edwin replied, voice as gentle as he could manage with his building nerves.

“ I just want to be what you want. I want you to want me, if that wasn't clear. Apparently I fucking suck at this, but I'm trying. ” Thomas said, looking terribly conflicted and almost pained.

“ You have to know that you do not ever need to change yourself to achieve that. I might be inexperienced and it may take me a while to get used to things, but you have been more than accommodating of that.” Edwin turned from the tank to look at Thomas properly. “I appreciate your efforts more than you know.”

“ I don't know, Edwin. It is always a pleasure being around you, but I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm used to fast-paced hook ups, meaningless physical stuff, nights spent giving someone what they want and waking up alone. That shit's easy. It's what I know. You're in one-sided love with your best friend, who you've been with for thirty-odd years. I know about being alone, but I don't know how you can start something with those old feelings still there.” Thomas wasn't looking at Edwin. He was pointedly avoiding it.

“ Thomas, it is complicated, I admit, but after the rejection, things changed with Charles, but our friendship stayed the same. The feelings I have for each of you are very different.”

“ That's what scares me the most.” Thomas said, full of fear and frustration.

“ I don't understand...” Edwin was so confused now. Why was Thomas scared? Edwin thought that Thomas would be at least a little bit comforted by his words, but it seemed to have had the opposite effect.

Thomas looked like he wanted to say something, but was battling with himself and it was causing Edwin to become more and more worried about him. He hadn't thought that things would get like this, he hadn't thought of the Cat King as someone who would be insecure, (lonely, yes, but insecure?) it felt surreal to him that someone like Thomas would have anything at all to be insecure about.

Nevertheless, he was determined to work through it. Just like a case, Edwin was sure that this, too, could be solved… even if he had no idea how.

Edwin was seeing more and more that Thomas was not as impervious or as confident as he had appeared to be initially. It may have been easier to see when Thomas was putting up a front, but it made Edwin's heart ache to see how often he did it, how often he shoved himself aside in favour of what he expected to be wanted of him.

“ Forget it. Just forget I said anything. It's not important.”

The rest of their walk around the aquarium was awkward and almost silent. They didn't really talk, and the further they went, the more exhausted Thomas looked. The few times that Thomas had tried to jump in with something flirty or suggestive, it had fallen flat and he had moved on looking even more run-down.

Edwin wanted to reach out, but he wasn't sure how and he didn't want to make things worse again. It was apparent that something deeper was taking a toll on him and Edwin wanted to know what it was so badly, to offer some sort of reassurance. He wanted to be able to put Thomas' mind at ease somehow, but until Thomas talked to him properly, it was outside the range of his capability.

This, on top of how he had turned himself into Charles before, and the things that he had said, was disquieting.

By the time that he left for the agency, Edwin was the one thing that he hated being more than anything else: stumped.

-----

“ Walk with me?” Edwin asked, the next time that he went to see the Cat King.

It had been a few days again, since the last time. It hadn't been case work this time, but more so had been that he wanted to give Thomas some time to process the feelings and thoughts that he had been confronted with the past two times that they had spoken. Edwin was well aware that he had crossed some boundaries before Thomas had taken him to the aquarium that they hadn't talked about, and that his words both times had impacted Thomas.

Edwin had taken the same time to process things for himself, too. There was a lot on his mind, a lot of feelings he had that had intensified towards Thomas.

There was something so curious about him. He usually had this air of confidence and of being infallible in matters of the body (and Edwin had once perhaps assumed the heart as well). However, it was also apparent that this was a part of his façade. He wasn't only distracting from his loneliness; there was more to it.

He wasn't just the larger than life, powerful individual that oozed charisma. Under it all, he was also fragile, vulnerable. Their last two talks had brought a lot of that to light, had given Edwin a peek behind the cracks in his mask and what he saw underneath had captivated him. He wanted to see all the bruised parts of him, all the parts that others had hurt, all the parts that he had hurt inadvertently, so that he could kiss them better.

The thought of that in and of itself had him reeling the first time that it had occurred to him, but once it had settled in his mind, it had been easier to accept.

The affection that he felt for Thomas was growing into something significantly more.

“ Oh? Where are we going?” Thomas smiled, standing slowly from his throne.

His voice was trying to find its usual lilt, but he sounded tired, maybe even exhausted, still. Edwin took him in more analytically and immediately noticed the dark circles under his eyes were more visible, his stubble had grown out a bit and his hair wasn't quite as well-kept as it usually was. Edwin wondered if he was simply too tired to bother with the magic it would take to fix himself up, or if he was making the conscious choice to allow Edwin to see his imperfections.

“ Nowhere in particular. Just for a walk.” Edwin replied.

“ Only if you promise to hold my hand.” Thomas said, unexpectedly.

“ Alright,” Edwin agreed, holding out his hand to be taken.

It hung between them for a long moment, as Thomas stared at it, seemingly not having been expecting him to go along with the request. It was no secret that physical affection was hit-or-miss with Edwin, especially the sort that would make his inclinations easily deducible to anyone who saw, but he was trying . He wanted to try. For Thomas, in part, but also for himself.

Thomas took Edwin's hand, linking their fingers together, squeezed a little as if to accustom himself to the feeling, maybe to commit it to memory.

Edwin shuddered pleasantly at the sensation. It was an intimate contact that felt far, far better to him than he had imagined. It would never cease fascinating him how he could feel Thomas. He could feel that his hand was soft, and warm, and fit perfectly with his own. It was… comforting. He hoped that it was comforting for Thomas, too, even if Edwin wasn't warm like he was.

He squeezed back.

The two of them ended up walking a route that followed the coastline, away from the main town. It was a mild day, if not a little bit chilly with the offshore wind. The path that they followed was mostly grass and packed sand, trodden down naturally over time. There were a few light grey clouds blanketing the sky, the sun peeking through every now and then to send beams of light over the rippling water below. The sea itself was relatively calm and the gentle sound of its waves was soothing.

At a particularly cool gust of air, Thomas summoned himself a large, black fur coat that completely covered up his outfit of the day (a skin-tight black faux neck and a greyscale kilt), coming all the way down to his shins in length.

Edwin subtly pulled him closer to his side as well, though he knew that, being a ghost, his body would not work in blocking the wind.

“ We can turn back, if you are experiencing discomfort.” Edwin suggested, not wanting his- not wanting Thomas to be bothered by the cold.

“ No.” Thomas answered quickly, tightening his hold on Edwin's hand, refusing to let go. “No, we haven't even been out here for long.”

“ If you are certain.” Edwin said, dubiously.

“ Edwin, I-” Thomas started, biting his lip briefly as though fighting himself for his next words. “I'm sorry for how I behaved last time you came to see me. Before the aquarium, I mean. It was… it was wrong.” he breathed out a sigh, clearly not enjoying what he was saying. “I shouldn't have used Charles' body to try and get a rise out of you.”

Edwin sighed heavily and turned to face Thomas more directly. “No, you shouldn't have. It was disrespectful to Charles and to me. Of course, I forgive you for it, but please know that he cannot be replaced by an imitation.” Thomas looked down as Edwin said that, frowning deeply, but Edwin continued. “Neither can you .”

Thomas' eyes snapped back to his, at that. Something akin to hope fluttered within him.

“ I meant it when I said that I prefer you as yourself. You don't need to put on a show or pretend to be someone you are not.” He could say it, he could . “I like you .”

“ You can't mean that. You said, yourself that you love Charles. You're an old fashioned kind of guy, Edwin. Being with more than one person isn't your style, and as kinky or open as I can be, you're not someone I'd be okay with sharing.” It hurt him to say it, but it was true. “We both know I can't compete.”

“ Only because it is not a competition at all.” Edwin said, softly. “It was a struggle at first, I admit, to overcome Charles' rejection of my romantic interest, but it started as platonic love, and it returned to platonic love. That is just the kind of friendship that the two of us have. It is different with you, I-” Edwin swallowed unnecessarily. “I was attracted to you right from the moment that I laid eyes on you, and after that, I could not get you out of my mind. I had never been confronted with my interest in men in such a way. I did not believe that people like us could be so open and free, but meeting you opened my eyes. Thomas you are confident, brash, eccentric, bold, mysterious, and then there is that concealed softness, that tender sweetness that you try so hard to hide.”

Edwin knew that he must have a fond look on his face, as he felt nothing but fondness for the man before him.

“ You want to explore that attraction to me?” Thomas asked, face unreadable.

“ How could I not?”

Thomas remained unreadable for a moment before shifting into a flirtatious smirk. “Then come a little closer, ghostie, and let me show you how right I was about second kisses.” he purred.

Edwin couldn't have resisted the pull that he felt if he had tried, and he really hadn't tried at all. It was like Thomas had his own gravitational pull and Edwin was caught in it. As soon as he was close enough, Thomas leaned up and pressed their lips together, tilting his head slightly for a better angle.

Edwin sighed into it and closed his eyes, fully immersing himself into the feeling of Thomas against him, soft and warm, gentle and insistent. He gasped when he felt the tongue run across his lower lip and moaned almost helplessly as he felt Thomas lick into his mouth, trying as much as he could to keep up despite his limited experience. He was going mostly on instinct, his brain not really functioning enough for him to start over-thinking his technique. It was unlike anything that he could have imagined.

He slipped his free hand into Thomas' hair and drew him ever closer, unable to get enough of him. The world around faded away until the only thing left was them. The clouds and sea, and grass, and the cool air disappeared, replaced by a blazing fire that sparked to life from deep within him, its embers catching on the edges of his heart.

When Thomas finally pulled back for breath, panting against Edwin's lips, it took Edwin a while to open his eyes again. When he did, they were no longer out on the coastal path, but were inside Thomas' bedroom, standing in front of that ridiculous round bed and giant neon cannery logo.

He couldn't focus on that, though, when Thomas looked so, so beautiful. Face flushed, eyes dilated, lips swollen and pink. He wondered if he looked like that too. He wouldn't be surprised.

“ You're a natural.” Thomas complimented, breathless and hoarse.

“ Second kisses are certainly better.” Edwin gazed at him with half-lidded eyes. “You brought us back to your bedroom.” he stated.

“ I did.”

“ Any particular reason?”

“ What do you think?” Thomas smirked.

“ I think that I would like to explore third kisses.” Edwin said.

Thomas laughed and kissed him again, deep, but fleeting. “And fourth?”

“ And fifth and sixth and however many you want to show me.” Edwin replied, terribly out of breath for someone who did not need to breathe at all.

They moved back, Thomas allowing himself to fall as the backs of his knees met the bed, bringing Edwin with him. They shuffled a bit to get comfortable and then their lips met again, and it was like magic. Thomas wrapped his arms around Edwin's neck and his legs around his waist, tugging him as close as he could.

Edwin made a small noise of surprise at the motion, but quickly got swept back up into the moment. Slowly, he moved his hands to Thomas' knees and slid them up his thighs, the way he had wanted to when he had first seen him in that skirt.

As he neared the tops of his thighs, Edwin felt Thomas tense beneath him. Edwin stopped immediately and removed his hands, opting to settle them instead on Thomas' hips, over his clothes. He pulled back and searched Thomas' eyes for discomfort.

“ Did I do something wrong?” Edwin asked. The last thing he wanted was to overstep or do something that Thomas didn't like. He didn't know a lot (or anything) about this kind of intimacy between men and he didn't want to get it wrong.

“ No, you're good, Sweetheart. I'm kind of impressed at the boldness. I just wasn't expecting it, that's all. You can put your hands on me any way you want, Edwin.” Thomas replied, placing his own hands over Edwin's and guiding them back under his kilt. “Touch me.”

Edwin gulped and then took a shaky breath. He took in Thomas' expression as he moved his hands, but before he could get swept up again, he saw something flicker in his eyes. Edwin stopped again, pulling away completely.

“ Edwin?” Thomas' voice was small, uncertain.

“ Forgive me, I...” Edwin didn't want Thomas to blame himself for his own reactions, but Edwin needed time to figure this out. “I don't think I am quite ready for...that, yet.”

“ Oh...” Thomas sounded almost relieved. “That's okay, Edwin. We can go at whatever pace you're comfortable with.” he assured. “I am a fair and consensual Cat King, after all.”

Edwin looked at him again, the both of them now sitting up fully. Thomas smiled and slid his hand back into Edwin's, giving it a squeeze. Edwin squeezed back and returned the smile, leaning in to place a gentle kiss to Thomas' cheek. “Thank you.” he whispered.

Edwin would gladly allow Thomas to believe that he wasn't ready. He didn't know what was going on, but something wasn't right and he would not be letting anything happen between them without knowing the full picture.

-----

Edwin knew that he could not talk to Charles about this topic, and as Niko was unfortunately unavailable, that left Crystal.

Surely, being well versed on modern social etiquette and issues, she would be the most qualified person whom he trusted with this conversation. So, when he walked back in to see her and Charles chatting, he knew he had to try.

“ Crystal.” He interrupted them, causing them both to stop and look at him. “May I speak with you about something? Privately.” he asked.

“ You know you can tell me anything, mate.” Charles said, looking concerned at Edwin's somewhat anxious demeanour.

“ Not this, Charles.” he replied, feeling all out of sorts. “Please,” he added.

Charles and Crystal shared a look, both of them obviously worried about what this could possibly be about. Crystal mouthed something that Edwin couldn't see and Charles looked like he wanted to argue but then nodded and got up.

“ Alright, but if that Cat King did anything to you-”

“ That is not what this is, Charles. I promise.” Edwin said, firmly. He absolutely did not want either of his friends getting the wrong idea about the situation.

It took another moment of Charles staring him down before he finally conceded and left the room, claiming that he would be on the rooftop for about an hour to give them space.

“ What's wrong?” Crystal asked, once Charles was gone.

Edwin wrung his hands together and tried to resist the impulse to start pacing.

“ It is the Cat King...”

“ You just told Charles that he didn't do anything-” Crystal tensed.

“ He didn't .” Edwin reiterated. “I think I might have?”

“ You did something? Edwin, what happened? Start from the beginning.” Crystal had a concerned frown on her face and she watched him carefully as he replied.

“ We kissed. It was good, very good indeed, but then he teleported us to his room and things began to… escalate.” Edwin clenched his fists, trying to work through the discomfort of talking about this with someone. “Before it went anywhere overtly sexual, I noticed him tense. Of course, I stopped to ask if I had done something, but he denied it and encouraged me to keep going, only… only it felt off… he felt off, as though he were forcing himself. So, I stopped again and claimed that I wasn't ready.” he explained.

Crystal seemed as perplexed as he was. “Were there any other instances like this? Where it seemed like something was off?”

“ He has been making some odd remarks pertaining to romance and intercourse. He also seemed strangely relieved when I stopped things from progressing.” Edwin thought back to the conversation they'd had before Thomas had shape-shifted into Charles.“Previously, when we were talking, he did say something that gave me pause.”

“ What was it?” Crystal asked.

“ He said: “Carnal desire is what I'm good for” . He also said that love opens you up to a special kind of hurt, along with a few similar statements.” Edwin looked directly to Crystal for some kind of reassurance or understanding. “Crystal, I am slightly afraid that something terrible may have happened to him, that has caused him to feel this way.”

“ Shit.” Crystal took a slow, deep breath. “I mean… maybe? But Edwin, you can't know for sure what's up unless he tells you directly. You can't make assumptions, you've gotta talk with him.”

Edwin sat down next to her, the only way he could make himself stay still with all of the stress that he was feeling. “I do not know where to begin. What do I say? What do I do? I want to be with him, but I do not want to hurt him in any way.”

“ Just… be patient with him.” she placed one hand over his, to try and calm the wringing and offer a bit of comfort. “Give him time and let him open up to you when he's ready.”

“ Of course, it is just- the thought of anyone having hurt him, to cause him to view himself that way- it is unspeakable. The way he tensed, it was the same as the way one would tense in anticipation of pain. He definitely did not want what was happening. I just do not know what else it could be if not-” Edwin could not bear to finish the thought.

Crystal didn't want to let Edwin spiral, stuck in his own head with worry. She wanted to give him some other option for what could be wrong, something to stop him from getting too far in his own head thinking about worst case scenarios. She also just really wanted to show Edwin that she could be someone that he could lean on, aside from Charles and Niko.

Then – even if it seemed highly unlikely for someone like the Cat King – a thought struck her.

“ Have you heard of asexuality?” she asked, succeeding in grasping Edwin's attention.

“ There are some species that reproduce asexually, but I do not see what that has to do with-” Edwin began, but Crystal cut him off.

“ There's also asexuality as a sexual orientation. It's like being straight or gay, but instead of wanting one or the other, you don't want either. Or it's little to no sexual attraction or desire.” she paused to gauge Edwin's expression and he looked confused, but interested, so she continued. “There's the extreme end of it too, where some people are sex averse or sex repulsed.”

“ And you think that this could be him? But then, why would he pursue me?” Edwin frowned. He wanted to understand but the puzzle kept getting bigger.

“ Not all asexual people are aromantic as well. Romance and sex don't always go together. He might not want sex, but still be in love with you and appreciate your looks, aesthetically speaking.” Crystal hoped that she was doing a decent job of explaining this to Edwin. It was difficult to summarise something she had never experienced first hand. She didn't think she was good at this kind of stuff and wished that Niko was around to talk about this with him. She knew that he would prefer to be talking to her, she always seemed to know what to say and how to say it.

Edwin thought for a moment and then seemed to come to a decision. “Thank you for your council, Crystal. I wasn't aware of that as an option and it has given me a lot to think about.” he stood, and walked around to his desk, near the mirror. “I think that I will go to the library and attempt to research this topic further.”

“ Sure, any time, Edwin.” Crystal smiled. She felt like maybe this had brought them a tiny bit closer.

“ It goes without saying, but when Charles returns, please do not relay any of the information that has passed between us. This matter is very private and while I am alright sharing my own feelings with Charles, I do not wish to violate the Cat King's trust.” Edwin straightened up, ready to get into research mode.

“ I get it, don't worry. Not my info to tell. I won't say a thing.” she assured, sincerely. She might like a bit of gossip every now and then, but this was serious, and it wasn't hers to share.

Edwin gave her one last nod of appreciation and then walked through the mirror.

-----

When Edwin travelled back to the cannery again (after spending a day or two in the library with his nose in a book), he arrived inside its walls as opposed to further down on the docks, where he had come through the last time. He turned around to see that there was a large, full-length mirror behind him, in the shape of a golden-rimmed archway.

It was at least six and a half feet tall and probably about five feet wide. It was leaning up against the wall at a very slight tilt. It was odd to see the throne and the dais of pallets that it was built upon reflected in its surface. It made the room look even more cavernous than it already was. It wasn't something that Edwin would generally pay notice to, but this mirror was so big that it demanded acknowledgement. It was almost like a portal to another world (which, he supposed, wasn't entirely inaccurate considering what he used it for).

“ Enjoying the view?” Edwin closed his eyes as the Cat King's voice washed through him to his core.

His eyes fluttered open again in time to see the last licks of purple flame dissipating from the Cat King's teleportation. He was in a flowing black shirt with the first four buttons undone, that had subtle lines of shimmery silver thread woven into the fabric. It was paired with figure-hugging leather trousers, boots and a big, fluffy black fur coat. He looked very much like himself. Beautiful.

“ You moved a mirror into the cannery. I am surprised that you would open yourself to such risk.” Edwin said, instead of replying to the question.

“ It's enchanted. It only lets through visitors that I want. ” Thomas replied, smoothing his hands over Edwin's shoulders and down to his waist.

Edwin tensed for a moment, with a quiet gasp at the feeling of Thomas' warm hands on his hips, even over his coat. He relaxed into it without much trouble, though. Perhaps he should have been surprised at how easily he settled into physical affection with Thomas, but once he had internally accepted that he wanted it, it felt natural.

“ It's odd.” Edwin said, looking into the mirror.

“ What is?” Thomas asked, practically whispering it against his neck as he leaned into Edwin's space even further.

“ Seeing you and not myself.” Edwin replied, drawing Thomas' attention to the mirror and the way that he looked draped around the space where Edwin should have been standing. “I don't usually miss my reflection, but...”

“ Would you like to watch? How kinky~” Thomas teased, though whatever he was implying went straight over Edwin's head. Watch what?

“ Ghosts don't have reflections, and we do not appear in photographs. I understand that it is something that people enjoy: having photographs and being able to see themselves with their friends and significant others. It is just a shame that we cannot participate.” Edwin explained his thoughts, wondering what it would be like to see himself with Thomas in that way.

“ I'm sure if I pulled a few strings, I could find a cursed camera or maybe a ghost or medium with some artistic talent.” Thomas smiled, not putting too much seriousness into his tone, though Edwin seemed to take it seriously as he turned in Thomas' grasp and faced him with a curious and excited look in his eyes.

“ You mean a portrait? Of us? Is that truly something that you would want to do?” Edwin asked, too curious to question himself over how eager he felt over the idea.

He didn't remember what he looked like, not covered in blood. If he could see himself as he was, the way that others saw him, the way that Thomas saw him...

“ You actually want that?” Thomas was definitely caught off-guard.

Edwin paused to reconsider. “I… I think that it would be… nice, to see how we look… together. If that is something that you would truly be interested in as well. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to wait until we reach some sort of milestone, though I am not sure what the parameters for such a thing would be.”

Thomas' mind was reeling. How was it that Edwin could throw him for a loop with such ease? Taking the portrait suggestion seriously? Milestones? Thinking it would be nice to see how they looked together? Edwin was going to lose him his fourth life at this rate.

“ Edwin.” Thomas started, the playfulness gone from his tone. “What is it that you want me to be?”

“ Yourself, of course.” Edwin frowned, confused by the sudden shift in their conversation.

“ What I mean is: what do you want me to be to you ? What do you want us to be?” Thomas elaborated, smiling a little. He seemed hopeful, but tentative about having asked it.

“ ...I know that I would like to be exclusively together. I haven't given much thought to modern relationship labels. In my day, you simply courted whomever your parents expected you to and then got married.” The lower stakes of getting into modern relationships had been a relief and a confusion in equal measure when Edwin had first had them explained to him. However, even so, Edwin found that he was very much the type to be all-in with matters of the heart.

“ Does that make me your boyfriend? Your lover ?” Thomas was certainly in a good mood.

“ I suppose it does. I quite like the sound of that, don't you?” Edwin was certainly in a good mood as well.

He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Thomas' lips, over his scar, then another to his forehead. Thomas closed his eyes and smiled. Edwin felt everything shift and they were quickly in the bedroom.

“ Snuggle with me, lover?” Thomas requested, teasingly as he threw himself back onto the sheets, crooking his finger to beckon Edwin over to him.

Edwin was incredibly endeared. “I suppose I can spare some time.” He carefully removed his coat, blazer and waistcoat, leaving them neatly folded on top of a crate and took off his boots before climbing onto the bed next to Thomas.

It had not escaped Edwin's notice that Thomas had looked worried when Edwin had begun removing his layers, but had instantly calmed and returned to his previous, relaxed state when he realised where it was stopping.

It certainly gave credence to Edwin's main running theory. He would have to remember to thank Crystal somehow for her assistance if it turned out to be correct.

A moment after Edwin had gotten himself comfortable, Thomas shifted into his cat form and padded over to tuck himself against Edwin's chest, rubbing his whiskers against Edwin's jumper and kneading it lightly with his paws. Edwin brought his hand up to run his fingers over Thomas' dark fur. It was as soft and warm as he had imagined it to be when he had first seen him in this form.

It took less than a minute for Thomas to start purring, and Edwin thought that it might just be the best thing that he had ever heard.

-----

Edwin spent the following month quietly doing further research in his spare time between cases, whenever he wasn't needed at the agency or visiting Thomas at the cannery. There was a lot more to sexuality and gender than he had ever been exposed to during his time alive, and it was truly a fascinating subject. The leaps and bounds in the understanding of queerness were both astounding and extremely comforting (the reclamation of “queerness” in and of itself was a noteworthy piece of progress that he found he quite liked).

Asexuality alone had many different facets and intricacies that he never would have anticipated, and so many sub-labels and possible combinations that were either under the same umbrella or even lay completely outside of it. The most interesting to him was the very conscious and relevant separation of sexual desire and romantic interest. He had never thought about it on such an in-depth scale before, but once he had considered it, it seemed like something that should have been obvious.

Understanding that element of separation regarding the different forms of attraction and types of love had even led him to gain a deeper understanding of his friendship with Charles, which was an unexpected but entirely welcome discovery.

It did not hurt that he thoroughly enjoyed being able to categorise things in his head (though, there was, of course, as with most human things, a certain degree of overlap and many a grey area).

Outside of that, he and Thomas had been taking things slowly and it had been what he could only describe as wonderful . Edwin had continued to discover new facets of who Thomas was, and each of them was something that added to his building emotions.

It seemed as though Thomas was thriving without the prospect of sex hanging over them as an expectation, as well. He was a romantic at heart (how wrong Edwin had been in ever assuming that he wouldn't be the type), always taking Edwin on outings and showing him new things, and going out of his way to plan dates that would make Edwin happy. They had been back to the aquarium, to countless museums and galleries, and (Edwin's personal favourite) had taken him to his personal library and read aloud any book that Edwin picked off of the shelves.

Their physical affection had been mostly relegated to hand-holding, hugs, and more innocent kisses, with the occasional addition of one with more passion. Edwin found that he was incapable of choosing which of those activities he preferred, but he had unexpectedly grown rather fond of cuddling.

He enjoyed being close to Thomas, soaking up his affection and basking in his warmth. He had been so used to the chill of solitude, so used to numbness and never being touched, but now the dam had been breached and he had been given all that he had once been deprived of, and he highly doubted that he would ever be alright with going back to how things were.

As he lay wrapped in the warm embrace of Thomas' arms, he could scarcely remember the feeling of being cold.

As he allowed his confidence in himself to grow along with the understanding of his feelings and sense of security that Thomas brought him, he found the memories of what it felt like to be afraid growing fuzzy and distant.

As he listened to that bright laugh, watched a smile overtake those handsome features as light poured in from the high windows, felt the familiar rumble of a purr while they held each other, gazed into those golden eyes and savoured the sensation of those soft lips against his own, Edwin could no longer recall the ache of loneliness.

'Oh', he realised. ' Oh .'

He was in love.

The realisation rolled through him in a way that, had he not already been horizontal, would have surely bowled him over. He looked at Thomas, taking him in as he was, thinking back to all that they had been through together and his heart squeezed pleasantly.

'He is my fish’ , the thought struck him with joy.

The second the information settled, he leaned across from where he was lying down, next to Thomas and kissed him.

“ What was that for?” Thomas asked, happily.

“ I had a realisation,” Edwin replied.

“ And what did you realise?” Thomas smiled, eyes sparkling playfully

“ That you are my other fish.” Edwin said, simply.

Thomas stared at him in pure confusion for a long moment. “Edwin, I'm a cat.”

Edwin could not hold back his laughter at that. The expression on Thomas' face, coupled with that befuddled statement was far too humorous. Thomas made a noise of complaint at Edwin's reaction and drew back a couple of inches (he wouldn't want to go too far).

“ I apologise, I am not laughing at you.” Edwin clarified as he calmed himself. “Do you remember one of the first things that you said to me when I came to visit you those months ago?”

Thomas lightly furrowed his brow and waited for Edwin to elaborate.

“ You said that “there are plenty more fish in the sea.” .” Edwin said, smiling as he moved one hand to brush a stray hair from Thomas' forehead. “ You are my other fish, Thomas. You're my only fish.”

“ Edwin, you-”

“ I love you.”

Thomas inhaled sharply at that. He didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do. He had been in love with Edwin for so long that this all felt so surreal, like it was too good to be true. How could he believe it?

“ You love me?” Thomas frowned, confused and conflicted. He wanted this so badly, but there was that little voice in the back of his head, making him question everything. “That can't be true.”

“ I disagree.” Edwin said.

“ You- You disagree ?” Thomas sat up at that and looked down at Edwin, absolutely flummoxed.

“ Of course I disagree, because it is an undeniable fact that it is true.” Edwin sat up as well, so that he could once again be eye to eye with Thomas.

“ You don't even really know me, ghostie.” Thomas got up and turned away, his whole body tense. “You wouldn't say that if you knew. You would leave me.”

“ If I knew what?” Edwin stood as well, approaching Thomas, but hesitant to reach out and touch him. “Thomas, please, talk to me.”

“ I-” Thomas turned and the fear and sorrow in his eyes caught Edwin off-guard. “I can't.” he looked away, avoiding Edwin's curious gaze. “You won't want me anymore.”

“ Thomas, I mean it when I say that I love you. Whatever it is, I promise to listen. My heart is not so fickle that I would stop loving you just like that, even if the matter is as dire as you make it sound.” This time, Edwin did not hesitate when reaching out to take Thomas' hands in his own. “Tell me what it is that is weighing on you so greatly.”

Thomas squeezed his hands tightly. “I want to give you everything, Edwin.” his voice was tight as he struggled to get the words out. “I want to be everything that you want, everything that you desire… but I don't know if I can.” Edwin ran his thumbs over the backs of Thomas' hands in an attempt to bring him comfort. Thomas looked into his eyes, then, determined to say what he needed to say, but so downtrodden and resigned to what he believed would be the outcome. “I've done it all before, so many times I've lost count, but the way I feel about you is different… if I give you what you want, it will break me.”

“ Tell me, what do I want?” Edwin asked, calmly. He was glad that he had done his research. He didn't want to imagine being unprepared for this conversation.

“ Experience. Intimacy. Touch.”

“ We have done all of those things, have we not?”

“ Edwin, I know you want more . I see the way you look at me.”

“ I only want what you are willing to give. You should never have to sacrifice your comfort for anyone's sake, and especially not for mine.” Edwin paused to squeeze Thomas' hands again, wanting to make sure that his words were coming across. “You have given me everything that I could have ever hoped for. You have cared about me, comforted me, been patient with me, taken me on dates. You have made me feel safe , made me feel cherished . Make no mistake, the only thing I long for is for you to feel those things too.”

“ Edwin...” Thomas was at a loss for words.

Edwin understood him now, more than he ever had before. A being of want and pleasure, yes, but of simple wants and simple pleasures; of a shiny new trinket, of companionship and solitude, of listening to a good book read aloud, of long naps, of careful touch and soft kisses and the warmth found lounging in a beam of sunlight.

“ I used to be so afraid… of who I am. I believed that it was wrong, that I was wrong, and that I was destined to be alone, forever pretending to be what everyone else expected me to be.” Edwin looked straight into Thomas' eyes. “You have shown me that who I am is not wrong, that I do not have to be alone, that I do not have to pretend, and that I can have this , I can have love.” he brought their hands up so that he could kiss Thomas' knuckles. “I am not afraid anymore.”

“ I don't-”

“ There is nothing wrong with you, Thomas. You do not have to pretend to be what everyone else expects you to be.”

“ Edwin.” Thomas was shaking, his breathing uneven as though he were trying to maintain some semblance of control over his emotions. “Why does it feel like you know something I haven't told you?”

“ The second you appeared uncomfortable, I did a bit of research at the library… in the LGBT section, which was not something that I had previously been aware that they had, and it did give me a theory or two.” Edwin admitted, hoping that it wouldn't come off as overstepping. “I don't care about sex.” he said, bluntly.

“ What? ” Thomas breathed, disbelieving of the statement. “You went out of your way to learn about asexuality on your own? You've been suspecting it... all this time?” he was reeling.

“ As I have said, I love you, Thomas. And, as long as you love me too, I do not want, nor do I need anything else.” Edwin knew that Thomas loved him back, even without the words, he had never been given the opportunity to doubt it. It was in his eyes.

He looked so hopeful and open now, a much better expression than the one that he had been wearing previously. “So you know… and you don't care if we never have sex? You won't turn around one day and decide that I'm not enough?”

“ I have never had intercourse in the span of my one-hundred-and-twenty-five years of existence. Continuing on the same course for the foreseeable future is no loss to me.” Edwin replied, honestly. Sure, he could certainly see the appeal of such activities, but he had no desire to seek them out for himself when he already had everything he needed in the man in front of him. “There is also no universe out there where you are not enough.”

Thomas searched Edwin's eyes for any hint of deception or disingenuousness, but of course, there was none. He breathed a sigh of acceptance and relief at the confirmation and then, without wasting any more time, surged up to kiss his beautiful ghost. His beautiful ghost, who had seen his ugliest parts, had seen through his promiscuous façade and had fully embraced him, loved him.

It was miraculous to him.

Edwin kissed him back with equal enthusiasm, wrapping his arms around Thomas to hug him tightly at the same time. Thomas mirrored the action, bringing his hands to Edwin's back, clinging to the fabric of his shirt.

Even as they parted for breath, they did not let go. Thomas buried his face in the crook of Edwin's neck and Edwin rested his cheek against the top of Thomas' head, placing a soft kiss to his crown as he did so.

“ Your other fish is a cat.” Thomas teased, finding the statement extremely amusing now that all of the heavy, emotional talk was out of the way and the weight of it was off of his shoulders. He hadn't felt this light in centuries.

“ My other fish is a cat.” Edwin answered, warmly, unable to keep the humour and affection from his voice.