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It started as a tickle in the back of his throat.
Not again…
Macaque braced himself for the incoming pain. Sure enough, the tickle became an itch, which became a burn. His lungs heaved as he coughed up the flowers, the action a new normal in his life but no less painful each time it happened.
When he was finished, he glanced down at his palm.
Peach blossoms. Flecked with his own blood.
How disgustingly poetic…
“Macaque?”
He quickly crushed the petals and wiped the blood from his face. He summoned his staff and pointed it in the direction of the intruder’s voice. “Who’s there?”
MK stood awkwardly in the doorway to Macaque’s current dwellings. “I… I’m here for our training lesson?”
Shoot. He’d forgotten about that. And he was in no state to fight right now. “Good news kid’ You get the day off,” he said, waving his hand in dismissal.
MK frowned. “Is everything okay?”
“Yep!”
“Maybe Monkey King can - ”
Macaque sank into the floor and emerged from MK’s shadow, pinning him to the wall. “Do not tell Wukong about this!”
“R-Right! Okay! Don’t ask anyone for help with your weird flower asthma. Got it!”
Macaque rubbed at his brows. “Look. Just… forget about what you saw here. And don’t tell anyone. Promise?”
MK lifted his hand to his forehead in mock salute “Promise!”
“Okay, so get this: I just visited Macaque for our training session, and he was coughing up flowers!”
Mei looked up from where she was drawing some sort of schematic. It looked like a dragon crossed with a racecar crossed with a spaceship. “Whaaat? Is this some kind of weird monkey thing?”
“No! At least I hope it’s not…” MK scratched at his head. “But anyway, I’m worried about him. He seemed hurt. There was blood, Mei!”
Mei chewed her lip as she made the finishing touches to her ship’s oversized jet flames, then slammed down her marker. “It sounds like we have a mystery on our hands! And you can count me in as your investigation buddy!”
MK sighed with relief. Research had never been his strong suit. “Really? Thanks a ton, Mei!”
Mei flopped down on the nearby couch and pulled her phone out. “Don’t mention it. This’ll be a piece of cake! We have the whole internet to help us. We’ll have this solved in no time!”
Several hours later…
MK’s eyes glazed over as he scanned the words on his phone.
Epic monkey PRANK! You won’t believe how many monkeys jumped on his bed!
Flower crowns for demon boars: DIY Tutorial
Help! My friend swam in this river and now he’s PREGANT?
“UGHH! None of this is helpful!” he groaned, throwing down his phone in defeat.
“MK! MK! MK! You have to see this!” Mei squealed.
“What?! Did you find something?”
Mei shoved her phone in his face. On it was a video titled “Dragons sneezing in slow motion 4K”.
“Mei, that isn’t even related to what we’re looking for!”
“Okay but have you considered that it’s hilarious?”
MK sighed. “I think we need help.”
Pigsy and Tang were in a heated debate when MK and Mei entered the noodle shop.
“There you are, kid! Tang here just said he visited that new pho place down the street. Can you believe it?!”
“MK! It’s not what it sounds like! I was just - ”
“Do either of you know what could cause someone to cough up flowers?”
Pigsy raised his eyebrows in utter confusion. Tang, however, adjusted his glasses confidently. “As a matter of fact, I was just reading about something like that!”
MK and Mei’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”
Tang reached into his bag and removed a worn-looking book. “Yes! I came across this book of demonic curses recently, and - ”
“Tang, are you looking to curse somebody?” Pigsy asked, alarmed.
Tang placed a reassuring hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I’m simply broadening my mental horizons!”
Pigsy didn’t look reassured.
“Let’s see…” Tang fanned through the pages. “Ah! Right here. It says - ”
Tang’s shadow reared to life, plucking the book from his hands and tearing it to shreds.
“No! My flawless library record!” Tang wailed, falling to his knees and trying to scoop up the bits of paper with his cupped hands.
Macaque solidified from his shadow form and glared at MK.
“I told you to stay out of this!” he growled, taking several intimidating steps toward the kid. Before he could get close, though, he was bonked over the head with a rake.
“No fighting in my noodle shop!” Pigsy yelled.
“But you and Tang were just fighting!” Mei said.
Pigsy crossed his arms haughtily. “That’s different.”
“Ugh… Whatever. I don’t have time for this!” Macaque exclaimed. “Just… stay out of it!”
With that, he disappeared into the shadows, though faint coughing could be heard from within the walls as he left.
“Wow. He was really grumpy,” Mei observed.
“Yeah. He reeaaally doesn’t want our help,” MK agreed.
“We’re still gonna keep investigating, right?”
“Obviously.”
Flames reflected off Red Son’s welding mask as he torched a damaged patch on his car. Finally, he had some spare time to tune her up after Mei had crashed the race car headfirst into a building.
The doorbell rang fifteen times in a row.
“Gee, I wonder who that could be,” he groaned.
“It’s us!!!” MK shouted as he and Mei entered his workshop without permission.
Red Son set down the welder. “What do you want?”
“Want?” MK said?
“We were just visiting our good friend Red Son!” Mei added.
“As if! You two only show up when you need something!” He lifted the welder and a series of successive other gadgets in the air as Mei tried to touch them. “The sooner you get it out, the sooner I can go back to work!”
“Well, uh,” MK offered. “You’re a demon, right?”
Red Son stared at him blankly, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“…Do you know anything about demonic curses?”
There it was.
“Just what did you two get into?”
“Nothing!” they said in unison, and from their tone, Red Son actually believed them.
“Alright. What would you like to know?”
Mei raised her hand.
“And no, I will not be performing any curses today.”
Mei frowned and lowered her hand.
“Are there maybe, perhaps, possibly… any curses that would make someone cough up… flowers?” MK asked, tapping his hands together nervously.
Now that was interesting.
“Oh? Who is it that’s come down with this affliction?”
“No one!” MK said at the same time that Mei answered “Macaque.”
“Oh. Ohhh. Ohohohoho!” Red Son cackled, shoving his welding equipment off his workbench, his car now long-forgotten. He propped his face in his hands. “Tell me everything!”
Before MK or Mei could answer him, Red Son felt the hair on the back of his neck raise. “…Or perhaps he’ll tell us himself,” he added, turning around to face his own shadow. With a snap, he summoned the Samadhi fire, flashing the shadow out of existence.
Macaque fell from the shadow plane and into Red Son’s workshop. “Bastard,” he coughed weakly.
“Oh, it’s progressed quite a ways, hasn’t it?” Red Son mused. “I’m surprised you’ve managed to hold out this far!”
“What’s going on?” MK exclaimed.
“Is he dying?” Mei asked.
“What’s happening is that you won’t mind your damn business!” Macaque sneered.
Red Son turned around, making sure to keep Macaque in his peripheral vision in case the monkey got any funny ideas. “Your friend here has an affliction that will get worse unless - ” he began to explain.
In the corner of his eye, the monkey seemed to get a silly idea.
“It’s. None. Of your. Business!” Macaque hollered, lunging at Red Son.
The two of them tousled on the ground, the kids crying out as they fought. The monkey was strong, but his energy was clearly sapped, and Red Son overtook him easily.
He stared down at Macaque where he now lay on the floor beneath his boot. “Now tell me… What kind of flowers are they?”
The monkey had some very silly and unkind words to say in response to that. His string of expletives only ended when a series of coughs wracked his body.
MK and Mei were at his side in an instant. Flower petals spilled from between Macaque’s teeth, and Red Son grabbed one before Macaque had time to react.
…Peach blossoms.
“Oh. Ohoho… AHAHAHAHAHA!” Red Son cackled. “Oh, this is just too rich!”
Macaque tried to move, but Red Son kept him firmly under his boot.
“Hey!” MK snapped. “Don’t hurt him.”
“The only one hurting your friend here is himself.” Red Son replied without looking up. “All he has to do to rid himself of this curse is be honest about his feelings.”
From the floor, Macaque glowered at him. “I’ll kill you…” he wheezed between coughs.
“Ha! That’s rich given your history with him. Should I be flattered?”
Macaque snarled.
Mei gingerly removed Red Son’s boot from the sad monkey.
“How do we help him? What feelings does he need to be honest about?” MK asked.
Red Son was a conniving, devious, devilish villain. Revealing Macaque’s messed up love life would be absolutely dastardly, but…
He locked eyes with the gasping, desperate-looking monkey on his floor. Pathetic…
Perhaps it would be more diabolical to drag out this monkey’s misery by not revealing the answer to MK’s question.
Yes. That was it! How delightfully evil!
“Sorry, but answering your question would be giving this shadowy simian exactly what he wants - a lack of accountability. As for how to help him, I don’t know… Don’t you folks love talking about feelings or whatever?”
MK and Mei exchanged a look.
“Sandy?”
“Sandy.”
Macaque was too weak to put up a fight as the kids hauled him to see Sandy.
They eventually set him down and he heard a knock at a door.
“MK! Mei! Oh, and Macaque! What can I do for you?”
“Macaque needs to talk about his feelings,” Mei said matter-of-factly.
The river spirit’s voice pitched up with giddy excitement. “Ooh! Come in, come in!”
Macaque limp form was dragged into a plush living room and set down in front of a tea table. He stubbornly refused to sit up.
Sandy began fumbling in the kitchen, preparing four comically-tiny cups of green tea. “What kind of feelings are we talking about today?”
MK and Mei glanced his way, but Macaque refused to say anything.
“Uhh… That’s the problem. He won’t tell us,” MK explained.
Sandy turned around. “MK, everyone processes their feelings at their own pace. We can’t force them to open up to us.”
“Thank you!” Macaque finally said.
“But he’s been cursed! We have to help him!” MK protested.
Sandy’s eyes glinted ominously. “Well, in that case, I’m sorry Macaque, but I can’t allow my friends to get hurt.” He joined them in the living room and set down the tea plate with surprising gusto, then took a seat on the floor.
Across the table from him, Macaque bared his teeth in a snarl.
Sandy frowned. “I think I might know what’s going on here. As a guy, you think it isn’t ‘macho’ to talk about your feelings.”
Macaque opened his mouth to protest, but Sandy held up his hand. “I get it! I was once the same way. But bottling these feelings up is bad for you.”
He feebly attempted to retreat into shadow. He wanted to be anywhere but here right now. But his powers fizzled uselessly.
The others didn’t seem to notice his escape attempt.
“I’ve made the same mistake, Macaque,” MK added, putting a hand on his shoulder. “It didn’t do me any good.”
From his other side, Mei ruffled his hair. “We’re your friends! You can open up to us!”
This was worse than being Lady Bone Demon’s hostage.
“Leave me alone,” he finally muttered.
There was a long, awkward pause.
Finally, peace and quiet. Macaque mustered the energy to sit up and took a sip of the tea in front of him. Perhaps it would help his throat…
“Is this about Monkey King?” MK asked.
Macaque promptly spit his tea out and began coughing. He fell back down to the floor as he tried to hold back the onslaught of flower petals.
“I’d say that’s a yes,” Mei observed.
“Okay, so Macaque needs to be honest about his feelings toward Monkey King…” MK mused, tapping at his chin.
“I think I know what’s going on here,” Sandy declared, and Macaque felt ice flow through his veins.
“Macaque,” the river spirit said. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
Please kill me. Macaque thought weakly.
“These feelings are natural,” Sandy continued. “And I understand why you feel this way, given your history with Wukong.”
Kill me kill me kill me kill me.
“And I can relate! Sometimes you see someone you have beef with and you just want to…” Sandy made some kind of repeated slapping sound with his hands that Macaque refused to look at. He was too busy trying to slowly crawl his way across the carpet to reach the nearest exit.
“You’re probably having these kinds of thoughts a lot,” the damned river spirit added. He grabbed Macaque by the scruff and set him back down by the table, giving him several pats like he was some kind of housecat. “But trying to run away from them only makes them worse. You need to sit with the feelings. Will you do that with me?”
“No.”
“Alright! Let’s begin!” Sandy exclaimed, assuming a lotus pose. “Close your eyes. Focus on your breathing.”
All Macaque could do these days was focus on his breathing - or lack of it.
“Now, once you feel centered, I want you to imagine what you want to do to Wukong.”
“What?!”
“It’s okay,” MK interjected. “I’ve done this exercise too. They’re just thoughts. They can’t hurt you.”
“That’s exactly right, MK!” Sandy exclaimed. “Picture it in as much detail as you can, Macaque - all the pent-up emotions and urges that you feel toward Wukong. There’s no shame or judgement here.”
This was, in fact, the worst day of his life.
“Now, I want you to say this out loud: ‘I’m not a bad person for having these urges. It is my actions that define me, not my thoughts.’”
Macaque was struggling to breathe. It felt like a million knives were piercing his lungs.
“Or you don’t have to say it,” Sandy added. “What matters is that you believe it. Now, are you feeling a bit better?”
His three companions jumped as Macaque screamed, summoning all his remaining power to shift into a shadow and escape from this hell.
…He only made it to the other side of the room before losing control and reemerging.
“…Do you feel a little better now?” Mei asked.
“No.”
“Macaque…” MK said, “It’s okay. Monkey King has done a lot of not-good things. You don’t have to forgive him. But carrying all this anger isn’t good for you. I think you should talk to him and tell him how you feel!”
“…Anger?” Macaque asked, his head spinning.
“Well, yeah. He… He killed you! That’s why you’re always giving him a hard time, right?”
An awful, bitter laugh built in Macaque’s throat. “No, kid. It’s much worse than that.”
“It’s alright if you want to kill him. Or pummel him into a pulp. What matters is that you haven’t done that. You’re a good person, Macaque,” Sandy said.
Macaque’s laughter burned his throat. He could feel the onslaught starting. “No,” he cough-laughed. “None of you idiots understand. It’s much, much worse than anger.”
A pile of bloodied peach blossoms dropped to the floor as Macaque was overcome with coughs.
“…Oh,” was all Sandy said.
“Pigsyyy! Taaang!” came MK’s voice from outside the noodle shop. Pigsy opened the door to see MK, Mei, Sandy, and (in Sandy’s arms) a very sick looking Macaque.
“Going on your own didn’t do it for ya, huh?” he asked, holding the door open in invitation. The group hurried in, quickly clearing a table and setting Macaque’s limp body on it.
“Yeah… I guess we’re closing early today,” Pigsy grumbled, flipping the open sign before shutting the door. “What’s the problem now?” he asked as he and Tang joined them around the table.
“Well, you see…” MK began.
“Macaque is in love with Monkey King,” Mei blurted.
“…And he’ll die if he doesn’t tell him!” MK belatedly added.
“God damn it,” Macaque hissed weakly, looking up from the table, “Do you have to tell everyone?”
Roaring flames sounded from behind them, and Red Son emerged into the store.
“I got your text, Mei. Is he still breathing?”
Macaque let his head flop back down on the table, groaning when it slammed loudly against the wooden surface. “Great!” he exclaimed, “Basically everyone except Wukong knows now! Thanks, guys.”
“…What don’t I know?” came a voice from the far side of the room.
Macaque froze, his life (and past life) flashing before his eyes.
“Bud…” Wukong said, approaching, “I heard you were sick. I came as fast as I could. What’s going on?”
Everyone except Macaque stared blankly at Sun Wukong.
“We’re uh…” MK said.
“We’re going to let you two talk,” Sandy finished.
The entire group collectively shuffled off into the back rooms of the shop, leaving the two monkeys alone.
“Macaque…”
“Don’t.”
“I just want to - ”
Macaque hefted himself off the table and promptly collapsed into a pile on the floor. Oh well. Better than being seen prone and helpless.
“Macaque!” Wukong shouted, at his side and picking him up in an instant.
“Let go of me,” he grumbled.
“Not until you tell me what’s going on! The kid said you were dying!”
Macaque clamped his jaw shut.
“So it’s true…” Wukong said, his voice trembling. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“What’s the point?”
“What’s the point? I could have helped you! In fact, I’ll go erase your name from the book of the dead right now if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”
“Stop being stupid.”
“You’re being stupid!” Wukong cried. “I already lost you once… I swore I’d do everything to protect you this time.”
“I don’t want your help,” Macaque lied.
The Monkey King’s brows furrowed with a look of pain. “Fine,” he said, setting Macaque down and standing up. “I know that what I did was unforgivable. I keep hoping I can make it up to you, but that kind of thing is too big to be forgiven.” He chuckled sadly. “And I seem to keep messing up all my attempts anyway, so I should probably just stop trying. But I’m a dumb monkey who doesn’t know how to give up, I guess.”
Wukong turned away from Macaque, his tail flicking the way it always did right before he ran away. “I’ll stop hoping you’ll forgive me, but I’m not going to stop trying to make it up to you. And I’m not going to let you die.” He summoned his staff. “Heh… I’m gonna go erase your name from that book now. If you don’t hear from me for a while, it’s because I got caught.”
Another tail flick. “But I’ll also try to leave you alone after this. Once I know you’re safe. Goodbye, Macaque.”
“Stop!” Macaque cried, his lungs seizing up at the thought of Wukong leaving him forever. It was more than he could bear.
Peach blossoms twirled in the air and settled on the floor as Macaque coughed and cried in pain.
Wukong was at his side in an instant. He cradled Macaque’s head as he coughed, his eyes full of concern. “What’s going on? You’re bleeding!”
“You’re so stupid!” Macaque sobbed, clutching at his friend’s fur as his lungs betrayed his secret.
Macaque continued to utter the phrase as he coughed up more and more peach blossoms. “So stupid… So stupid…”
Wukong’s face twisted in despair at his words, but eventually his eyes focused on one of the countless blossoms.
His eyes went wide. He looked to Macaque for answers, but Macaque turned his head away, refusing an answer.
“Bud… Usually you’re supposed to put these in a bouquet,” he said softly.
“Shut up.” If there was one thing worse than Wukong knowing about his feelings, it was being mocked for it.
“Hey, wait. Hold on…” The Monkey King turned Macaque’s head to face him. “Do you really…?”
“Heh… Well at least you don’t have to feel pathetic for wanting to be friends after everything that happened…” he said bitterly.
“But I…” Wukong whispered. “I killed you!”
“I know!” Macaque snapped. “Don’t rub it in!”
Wukong looked at him inquisitively, then searched their surroundings. He picked up a flower that had been spared from blood spatter and tucked it into Macaque’s fur behind his ear.
“Cute,” he said.
Heat rushed to Macaque’s cheeks. “Stop making fun of me.”
Wukong grinned, then wove another flower into his fur. “They look nice on you,” he said, his voice gentle and without a hint of derision in it.
Macaque’s heart skipped a beat. No… There was no way…
Wukong cleared his throat. “I suppose I’d think that, though, given that they’re two of my favorite things.”
“Wh-What are you talking about?” Macaque gasped. His lungs felt surprisingly painless but something entirely different was squeezing them now.
“You sure call me stupid a lot for someone who can’t piece something like this together,” Wukong teased with a playful grin.
A giddy smile threatened to tug at Macaque’s lips. He couldn’t believe this was happening. “Is there something you’re trying to tell me? Seems pretty cowardly to avoid saying it directly.”
“Oh yeah?” Wukong retorted, leaning forward. “I’m not the one who almost died because he couldn’t talk about his feelings.”
Cautiously, Macaque mirrored the movement, leaning his head slightly forward. “And what feelings would those be?” he quipped.
“Why don’t you tell me?” Wukong responded, leaning dangerously close.
With a shaky breath, Macaque closed his eyes.
He felt Wukong's nose press against his own.
“Boop!” the Monkey King said gleefully.
“Wukong, I swear to - ” Macaque growled.
But he didn’t finish his sentence because Wukong was kissing him.
Oh… This was nice. Macaque found himself clinging to his friend, former nemesis, and object of his affections.
They pulled apart, and the dopey smile on Wukong’s face somehow infected Macaque and made its way onto his face as well.
The Monkey King settled to lay against Macaque’s chest. He entwined their tails together and fixed him with a soft look before leaning down to kiss him again…
“So are you guys going to actually confess your feelings for each other or does that kind of thing take a few hundred years?” MK asked.
“HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE?” Wukong shrieked, while Macaque settled for a simmering glare. Don’t you dare come between me and my monkey!
He nearly jumped out of his fur when a colorful explosion went off, followed by several more.
“Woohoo!” Mei cheered, jumping in the air. “Congratulations on sort of not really professing your love for each other!”
“Mei! You can’t light fireworks inside!” MK shouted above the cacophony.
“That is not the proper use for the Samadhi fire, dragon girl!”
“Mei! The noodles!”
Macaque felt a tug on his tail and turned back around to see Wukong smiling at him, his eyes and fur lit up by the many colors of the fireworks.
He tightened his tail around Wukong’s. Despite the pain of the past few weeks (especially today), he felt like everything was going to be alright.