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Dean knows where he is when he arrives there.
Everything is beautiful - granted it's slightly to the left of how it should be - but it's still beautiful.
Dean is standing in a quaint living room with a long couch, two armchairs and a wide TV. There's a bookcase dedicated entirely to DVDs on one side of the television and one housing actual books on the other side. The coffee table has faint rings staining it, even though there are coasters crowded at the edge next to some magazines.
They aren't even porn magazines. They're about gardening, which makes Dean smile.
The walls are painted cream but there's chips where people have been moving around furniture. The carpet is well worn with stains.
Dean crouches down to pick at one of them. He thinks it's egg.
"I told you we should have gotten wood floors."
Dean looks up, very aware that he's only in his Zeppelin t-shirt and a pair of boxers that have ducklings on them.
"Wood floors stain too," he says, because that's all he can manage to say right now. He stands up, his eyes never moving as he drinks in the sight before him.
"Fake wood, Dean," Cas says, rolling his eyes. "That doesn't stain. You just wipe it."
"I'm not having fake wood in my home," Dean says (his home - that sends a rush through him). "We need the genuine article."
Cas smiles slightly. "If you insist, dear."
Dean knew what was going to happen. That was kind of the whole point. He knew he'd end up here in a quiet house with Cas and some stupid argument that was less fighting and more flirting if he's being honest.
Cas is standing there, coffee cup in hand. His hair is ruffled, looking more like sex hair than it ever has, and he's got stubble lining his jaw. He's wearing a David Bowie t-shirt which is both slightly too long and slightly too tight so it must be Dean's but Dean reckons that Cas could wear that for the rest of his life if he wanted. He's in jogging bottoms - grey and loose - and barefoot with a level of inherent comfort in his surroundings that warms Dean up from the inside like he's got a bomb in him that's about to explode. Again.
His coffee cup has bees on it.
It's that that makes Dean kiss him.
Cas makes a startled noise but immediately kisses back, a hand moving up to cradle the back of Dean's neck. Dean holds Cas' face and kisses him and kisses him.
When they break apart, Cas looks at least half as dazed as Dean feels and that's saying a lot.
"What was that for?" Cas asks, his free hand moving from Dean's neck to his waist and pulling him close, bumping their hips together.
"I love you," Dean says, tipping their foreheads to rest against each other.
"I love you too," Cas says. He puts down his coffee on the table and raises his hand to press the back of it against Dean's forehead.
Dean swats it away, laughing.
"I'm fine," he says. "I promise. Do I really not tell you I love you that much?"
Cas frowns. "No. You don't."
That makes Dean's heart sink a little.
"Oh," he says. "We'll have to change that."
He leans in and kisses Cas again.
The morning is spent trading slow, lazy kisses all syrupy and tender. Dean steals Cas' coffee and wraps himself around the man, draped over his back. He buries his head in between Cas' shoulder blades, where his wings once were.
"Do you miss them?" he asks, insecure all of a sudden.
"I missed you more," Cas says firmly, squeezing Dean's hands.
"I love you," Dean says.
Cas chuckles. "Is this a thing now?"
"Oh, absolutely, sweetheart," Dean says, raising his head and spinning Cas around so they can kiss.
"I love you too," Cas says and it's one of the best things Dean has ever heard in his life.
They have to take a break when it's time to pick Jack up from pre-school.
In Baby, Dean is driving ridiculously carefully for a quiet suburb. He's nervous and he knows Cas is picking up on it but Cas says nothing. Dean feels the weight of the ring on his finger, cool and silver. He wants to kiss Cas and then do some things that he definitely can't do in public, let alone in a school parking lot.
He parks and gets out, hands twitching.
Cas takes his right one with a comforting smile and Dean smiles back.
"Daddy!" Jack squeals, running straight into Dean's arms, appearing out of no where.
Dean is knocked back but he recovers and lets go of Cas reluctantly to wrap his arms tightly around his boy, kissing his head and growling playfully.
"Hello, Jack," Cas says, clearly amused. "Did anything exciting happen today?"
"Mhm!" Jack exclaims, wriggling out of Dean's arms and launching into a story.
Dean mourns the loss of him immediately. Cas kisses Jack's head and squints at Dean, affection written across his face. Cas straps Jack in and Dean drives them home, happily listening to his son rant about how great his teacher is and how James shared his sweets with him and how he painted a dinosaur but he can't bring it home until it dries.
"It'll go right up on the fridge," Dean promises.
"There's not enough space." Cas laughs and his eyes wrinkle. Dean looks away from the road for just a second to admire him.
"We'll make space," Dean says. "Hell, we'll buy another fridge."
"Yay!" Jack exclaims.
"No!" Cas is smiling as he shakes his head. "No more fridges. We can hang some of your artwork up in your room. How about that, Jack?"
"Okay, Papa," Jack says, "but you and Daddy can have my dinosaur."
"That's very generous of you," Cas says seriously.
"Yeah, thanks, kid," Dean says, doing his best not to sound too choked up but he's only human.
"Oh, Dean, don't forget that Sam and Eileen are coming over for dinner," Cas says.
Dean thanks... Well, he's very grateful that Cas mentioned it because he did not know that.
"Sure thing, babe," he says, delighting at the thrill of the pet name on his tongue.
"I want lasagna," Jack pipes up.
Dean pulls into their drive, parks, and twists around in his seat to see Jack's beam when he says, "We can have lasagna, bud."
Cas looks at him like he's soft and Dean will readily accept that.
It hurts to see Sam at first, just like it hurt to see Cas and Jack. Dean finds himself settling quite quickly, though.
"Hey, lovebirds!" Eileen says, sweeping Dean into a hug. She bends down and signs as she talks to Jack. "How's my favourite nephew?"
"How's our favourite niece or nephew?" Cas asks, gesturing to Eileen's stomach.
She grins. "Hungry. Is that lasagna I smell?"
"Daddy made it," Jack says.
"Did he now?" Sam says, scooping Jack up in his arms like he weighs nothing. "Do you think he did a good job?"
"Hey!" Dean protests. "He knows I did. Come eat."
Sitting at the table, surrounded by his family, is more gut-wrenching than Dean imagined. Jack's babbling about how he gets to sit on a big chair, Sam and Eileen are fighting over the corner pieces and Cas is holding Dean's hand under the table and Dean feels like crying.
"Are you okay?" Cas asks lowly.
Dean squeezes his hand and kisses his cheek.
"Ew!" Sam jokes.
Dean covers Jack's eyes and flips Sam off.
Jack giggles, ducking his head.
"Dean," Cas chides without any heat behind it.
"He was insulting our love!" Dean protests. "Love is beautiful!"
"Like a dinosaur," Jack adds sagely.
"Exactly, bud. Like a dinosaur."
Sam helps him clean up after dinner, jostling with him playfully.
"You know I was joking earlier," he says, suddenly serious. "I'm glad you and Cas found each other."
"I know, Sammy," Dean says. "I'm glad you have Eileen, and the little terror on the way."
Sam grins. "I'm going to be a dad."
Dean laughs. "Welcome to the club. It's a nightmare here."
Sam rolls his eyes, picking up Jack's plate that has ketchup smeared all over it because he's at that age where everything needs ketchup added to it, no matter how it must taste.
"You don't mean that."
Dean can distantly hear Jack chatting to Eileen, no doubt clumsily signing along with a bright, gummy grin on his face that looks just like Cas'.
"I don't," he admits. "I love that kid more than life itself. I wish I deserved him."
Sam looks at him funny. "Of course you do. What makes you say that?"
Dean thinks back to another life of shouting and fighting and he shakes his head.
"Nothing," he says. "Just being self deprecating."
"Well, stop," Sam says. "You deserve this, Dean. You get to have this."
Dean smiles sadly. "Yeah. I guess I do."
Later on, Cas tucks Jack in but he demands a bed time story from Dean. Dean starts off reading stiltedly and ends up doing it like he did for Sammy, with the dramatic voices and the gestures and everything. Cas watches from the doorway, looking utterly in love.
When Jack settles, they go downstairs to watch a movie. Dean insists on The Godfather and Cas puts up little protest.
Dean's not quite sure what to do at first but then Cas is opening his arms and pulling Dean to his side, kissing his head and smoothing back his worry lines, and Dean has never felt so loved and protected.
"Are you sure you're alright, love?" Cas asks, kissing Dean's hairline.
"Yeah," Dean says as the opening music plays. "I'm perfect. You're perfect."
"See, it's things like that that are making me worried about you," Cas says.
"Can I not appreciate my wonderful husband?" Dean asks and, oh, that word. Husband.
Cas snorts. "What is with you today?"
Dean snuggles closer to him. "I'm just really happy to be here."
"I'm happy you're here too."
It comes to an end, because it has to, when Sam shows up.
The real Sam.
Dean is cooking, chatting away to Jack, when the doorbell rings.
He takes off his oven mitts, leaving on his Kiss the Cook apron, and goes to answer the door.
He beams when he sees Sam.
"Where's Eileen?" he asks, ushering him in. "How's the baby?"
"The baby?" Sam repeats, frowning.
"Yeah," Dean says, walking through to the kitchen. He leans over to kiss Jack's head.
"Uncle Sammy!" Jack yelps. "You have to see my dinosaur!"
"He gave it to me and Cas," Dean says proudly. "It's up in our room."
"Our room?" Sam repeats, gesturing between the two of them.
"No, weirdo." Dean scowls. "Cas and I's room. It's hanging right above the bed."
"Bed?" Sam says.
Dean leans on the counter, folding his arms. "Jeez, what are you? A parrot?"
"Dean," Sam says and he sounds devastated and that's when Dean knows.
His heart drops to Hell.
"No, Sammy."
"Dean, this isn't real."
"Not in front of Jack," Dean says because that's all he knows right now.
He can't have this conversation in front of his kid, whether he's real or not.
"Jack," he says, crouching down and taking Jack's hand. "I think Papa's lonely. Why don't you go help him in the garden?"
"But, Daddy, I wanna stay here," Jack says determinedly.
Dean's heart breaks and he wraps Jack into a tight hug.
"I'll be right out to join you. I promise," he says, letting Jack go. Jack nods and darts off to Cas.
Dean sighs heavily and takes a seat, gesturing for Sam to take the other one.
"When did you figure it out?" Sam asks after a moment.
Dean looks away, rubbing his jaw.
"Dean," Sam says. "Did you get stuck in a djinn dream on purpose?"
Dean says nothing.
"I can't believe you!" Sam shouts.
"Keep it down. I don't want Jack to hear."
"That's not Jack!" Sam says.
"Don't say that," Dean says quietly.
Sam laughs almost hysterically. He shakes his head.
"I can't believe you'd be so selfish when the real Jack is out there in pieces worrying about you. It took him so much effort to send me here."
"Well, maybe he shouldn't have wasted it," Dean snaps.
"What?"
"Look, I didn't mess up with him here. I didn't lose Cas or my mind or any semblance of human decency I have when it comes to him. Please, just let me have this."
Sam shakes his head, looking genuinely sorry for Dean.
"You know I can't do that."
"Daddy?"
Jack's standing in the doorway with Cas behind him, as white as a ghost.
"No," Dean whispers. "Sam, don't make me do this."
"Dean," Cas rumbles, shoving past Sam, who tries to stand between them and pulling Dean into a hug.
Dean buries his face in the crook of Cas' neck, holding onto him for dear life.
"Dean," Sam says.
"Let me say goodbye, Sammy," Dean pleads and his brother says nothing.
"Don't leave us," Cas begs. "We love you. All we've ever done is love you."
"I know," Dean says, pulling back and aggressively wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Where's Daddy going?" Jack asks. Dean hugs him to his chest, kissing his head.
"Daddy's going home."
"But this is your home," Jack says.
"No, buddy. I don't belong here."
Tears well in Jack's eyes. He stomps his foot.
"You do!" he complains.
Dean stands up, trying his best to ignore the tugging of his heart. He leans forward and kisses Cas, gentle and slow.
"I love you both," he says.
And then he dies.
"Dean!" Jack exclaims as he wakes but his voice is deeper and the boy doesn't hug him. He just stands there, looking painfully unsure.
"Hey," Dean says miserably.
Sam rests a hand on his shoulder. Dean shakes it off.
"What did you dream about?" Jack asks, lacking all social boundaries.
"Jack," Sam warns.
Dean shakes his head. "What do you think?"
Sam treats him like he's made of glass for the whole drive home. Dean needs it and he hates it.
He locks himself in his room for most of the day, leaving once to visit Cas' old room but there's nothing about it that really makes it Cas'. It's just a bare room with unwashed sheets. Dean has to wash them soon. He doesn't. Instead he curls up on top of the covers, holding the duvet to his face and trying to breath in Cas.
He's man enough to admit that he cries. The door is shut and locked. Sam and Jack have no reason to come in anyway. He can cry for a bit, mourn for a while.
He ends up falling asleep.
When he wakes up, there's voices outside. He can't tell what time it is - damn Bunker with no windows - but he's still bone-achingly tired.
"What do you want?" he half-yells and the voices stop. The door lock clicks and the knob slowly turns.
Jack and Sam bustle in, looking suitably chastised.
"Dean," Sam says upon seeing the tear stained sheets.
Dean waves him off. "Enough, Sammy."
Jack is twitching with something and he can't seem to hold it off any longer.
"I'm sorry!" he bursts out.
Dean frowns. "What?"
"I'm sorry!" Jack says again. "Sam told me what your djinn dream was - don't be mad!"
Dean is mad. He's fuming but he's trying to be better so he takes a deep breath.
"Why are you sorry?" he asks.
"Because I didn't realise!" Jack says. "I though your djinn dream would be different. I didn't think I'd be in it. Actually, I thought I'd be the only one who wasn't. Except maybe Cas because you seemed really mad at him and he thinks you're super mad at him-"
"Back up!" Dean stands up. "He thinks this? As in, present tense?"
"I got him back," Jack whispers, as if he can barely believe it himself. "Yesterday. I wanted to come straight to you but he said you would be mad at him and you'd need space but then you got sucked into the djinn dream and then Sam told me and I didn't know what to do and I'm so sorry."
"He's alive?" Dean chokes out, swallowing down the pain of rejection that stings through him. "Where is he?"
"Dean," Sam says and Dean nearly screams at him but then he notices Jack's eyes are filled with tears and for a moment all he can see is his kid.
"Jack," he says, gently even though it kills him. "I'm not mad at you. This isn't your fault. I just really, really need to see Cas. I'm not angry with him and he needs to know that."
"Because you love him." Jack tilts his head.
Dean lets out a breath of... something. Relief? Anxiety?
"Yeah," he says.
Jack brightens, bouncing on the heels of his feet.
"He's in the library!"
Dean stops to kiss Jack's forehead and murmur a quick "love you, kid" and then he's sprinting towards the library before he can take in Sam or Jack's stunned faces.
Cas is there. It shouldn't surprise Dean - or maybe it should given his luck - but Cas is standing there, twisting his sleeves nervously and looking up to meet Dean's eyes, steady and determined but afraid.
Dean's legs buckle and he has to steady himself on the table.
"Cas," he says and it comes out as a broken sort of whine, which would be ridiculously embarrassing but it's Cas.
"Dean," Cas says. "I-"
Dean has him in his arms before he can finish saying his name.
He clings tight, reveling in the feeling of Cas' arms around him in turn.
"You came back to me. Fuck, I love you," Dean says. He feels Cas gasp against his neck.
"Dean, you don't have to."
"I mean it. My djinn dream was you and me." He laughs. "Jack was with us too."
"Really?" Cas says and he sounds more awed and surprised at that than at Dean's earlier declaration, and that's on Dean. He's going to do better.
"He was tiny," Dean says, grinning. "We took him to school and hung up his painting on the fridge and had Sam and Eileen over for dinner."
Dean pulls back. Cas' hands are on his waist and his are holding Cas' face like the precious thing it is.
"I love you," he says again.
"I love you too," Cas says. "So much, Dean. With everything-"
Dean kisses him and Cas promptly shuts up and it's better than any dream.