Chapter Text
(Ricky’s perspective)
I was only skipping class, it’s completely innocent! Well, as innocent as skipping could be, I had no intentions to find myself some new bullying material.
I was wandering the halls near the principal’s office since I’d heard about the fight Kevin, David and Exer had gotten into and was feeling a bit nosy. Hey, could you blame me? It’s been the biggest drama since what happened in the auditorium which, in my opinion, was too long ago!
To be honest, I’m not really sure what I expected to see. A scolding from their parents, maybe a few tears. But whatever it was, it wasn’t what I actually saw.
At first, it was just David Miller stepping out with a tear-stained face. And I don’t mean a couple sniffles worth, I mean ugly crying level beads stuck to his skin. Whatever happened in there must’ve been a lot, especially considering how concerned Exer looked when he came out, a worried frown plastering his expression as he glanced at his friend.
Or, at least that’s what I originally thought.
Looking back now, the worry on his face was very strong with a hint of guilt, like it was his fault. I don’t know exactly what happened in there, but there was also a tinge of affection in his gaze, and it wasn’t the platonic kind. The way Campbell studied David’s face was as if he could read every twitch, the sort of thing that comes from knowing someone for a decade. But even so, there was a strange new… light to it, I have no other way of describing it.
Sure, we all knew that they’d known each other for a long time, everyone does, and that was why I didn’t question anything at first. Though seeing the moment in my head, replaying in my mind… there was an inexplicable hatred in his eyes, not for David, for some other third person. It was likely for Kevin, but I can’t say for sure. It is a plausible explanation, but that’s as far as it goes— for now at least.
I would’ve stuck around for the rest of it, seen all of what happened, but Rocky was walking around the corner, and I still think about the time he stared at me and Marty in the most threatening way possible. Everybody else call me and Marty pussies for being so intimidated by some new kid, but they weren’t the ones he looked funny at!
So, naturally, I darted off to hide behind some lockers for a bit, at least until I saw Jackson run off. And when I say run, I mean run. It was like the boy saw a ghost! But nonetheless, I wasn’t deterred by his strange reaction, I only was when I saw Mrs Miller and Mr Campbell tread around the corner, and so, I hid behind the same set of lockers again.
Though as soon as I was sure they were gone, I peered down where they came from and saw nobody else stood there. So, I just assumed that Exer and David had gone back to class or something. I was still skipping class so I ambled down that hallway, though still keeping my ears focused on anything going around me in case something interesting was happening.
And sure enough, there was something.
The sounds of voices floated past my ears, catching my attention. Voices I instantly recognised as David and Exer. And of course, my interest was piqued. They couldn’t have been skipping, neither of them had done it since they lost their popularity— and even then David hardly ever did. Exer did more but usually just to sneak a cigarette around the back of the school if David wasn’t around (also something I haven’t seen him do in a while).
So, if they weren’t skipping class, or at least not intentionally, what were they doing? I had to know. And anyways, I had nothing better to do than eavesdrop on the ex-king’s conversations with his little sidekick– and don’t you dare say that I could’ve gone to class! What would you rather do, anyways? Be a nerd and attend some class or listen to what the school’s fallen royalty have to discuss?
I stood on the opposite side of the set of lockers they’d hidden themselves by, ear as close as I could get to the cool surface of the storage units,
“I’m sorry that you had to tell the principal about your dad…” A voice spoke gently, sounding to be Exer’s,
“No, it’s fine… it was better than getting suspended or expelled…” David sighed.
I originally thought that that would be the epitome of the conversation, they were both on the verge of being expelled? That would’ve been a good rumour to spread, though I’m glad I stayed longer because nothing could compare to what else I found out.
“I just… I can’t get over what happened with your dad! I don’t know, it’s just… I feel partially responsible-“
“Exer…” David’s voice was soft, with a twinge of underlying guilt,
“No, Day! If he didn’t hate me so much, he never would’ve looked so deeply into us! It’s my fault he kicked you out, it’s my fault for inviting you to that stupid party-“ Exer ranted, but was cut off by silence, which didn’t make sense.
It didn’t sound like he trailed off, it was too sudden, like he wasn’t prepared for it, but David didn’t say anything… so what was going on? I knew it would be dumb to look round to see what was going on, I may not be the brightest but I do know the basics of eavesdropping!
Though just before David spoke up, there was a noise that sounded a lot like the end of a kiss when you draw away, that lip smacking noise. Surely they hadn’t just kissed, right? Sure, I’d had my suspicions about David before, but it was mainly jokingly! And there’s no way he’d risk doing that in a public place in case someone was eavesdropping— like there was right now. He must have some sense, right?
But the conversation that followed only confirmed my suspicions,
“David, we’re in public! You can’t just risk other people seeing us kiss!” Exer whisper-yelled,
“I know, I know, but I can’t stand it when you’re being so needlessly critical of yourself…” David had begun to reply, but I stopped paying attention to the rest.
So, they kissed, does that mean they’re dating? Probably. It’s not like it mattered anyways, when I’d be spreading the gossip I’d push the narrative that they were just for extra shock value.
Exer and David, the two kids who used to run this school, were gay? I should’ve seen it coming, really, but still! It was a big shock, but in the best way possible— this had so much potential to become the next big thing! This could so easily be the best gossip around, and I would’ve started it!
I immediately— but quietly— marched off, hoping to find at least one other person skipping. Wait, I’d told Marty to meet me in the nearest bathroom halfway through his lesson, so I could just wait there for him and then start spreading this new information about the school’s new lovebirds!
Oh, this was gonna be so fun!
(David’s perspective)
The final bell of the day sounded, an unknown feeling stirring in my chest. I wasn’t sure if I was glad to be going to my mum's– or home as I should call it now– or if I wanted to stay in school for a little while longer, but really, I haven’t known where I’ve wanted to be ever since what happened with William.
One thing that I was for sure happy about, however, was Exer driving me home. He’d felt bad about getting me in trouble after the fight with Kevin and having to mention my fath— I mean William— kicking me out. Brenda already knew not to drive me home with her today so I told Exer as we were leaving class that I was going to drop off some books in my locker, and for him to wait for me by his car.
I headed over to where my locker was, sandwiched in between, Exer’s, two empty ones and someone who I didn’t know well enough to put a name to a face. As soon as I opened the locker door, a picture of me and Exer as kids was taped to the inside of it. It’s not a new thing, it was something I stuck there on practically my first day ever at Kingsmont. And it was a nice memory, but I just can’t help but remember every moment I’ve experienced and fixate on the parts with William in it– both the good and the bad.
On this particular day, a carnival had come to town. Exer and I had practically begged Mr Harry to pay for us to go with him, though it didn’t take much convincing before he caved in and told me to ask my father, or at least father at the time. Since I was having a sleepover with Exer, I had to use their landline to call my parents and ask them if I could go. It was in a couple of weeks, so surely it would’ve been plenty of notice?
When William picked up and I asked in my squeaky nine-year-old voice,
“There’s a carnival 3 weeks from now, on a Saturday, I think? Can I pretty please go with Exer and Mr Harry?” I can remember all too well the reluctant grunt down the phone,
“Really? With that Exer kid again? Haven’t you seen him enough recently? Surely you have some other friend and his dad to go with…” William mumbled,
“But… Exer’s my best friend!” I’d pouted, my lower lip trembling slightly. He’d always had an effect on me, I just wish I’d noticed it sooner, maybe then I could've done something about it…
“Bah! Best friends are for sissies! Are you a sissy, champ?” William howls down the line. That hearty, kind of raspy hiss of a laugh that came from both the pit of your stomach and from hell, even just the thought of it sent a chill down my spine,
“No…” I muttered quietly, a small sobbing-ish sound in my tone
“What did I say about crying, David? Crying is for-”
“William! Stop teaching our son such rubbish!” My mum’s voice was quiet as she wasn’t that close to the phone, but, the fumbling sounds, William’s grunt and my mother’s voice now sounding clearer indicated she snatched the phone out of his hands,
“Don’t listen to him, pumpkin, alright? You can have a best friend, you can cry, it’s all the same to me! Anywho, what’s wrong, sweetie? What are you calling for?” Christine said gently and soothingly, the tone she always used to help calm me down.
“I just wanted to ask if I could go to this carnival that’s on in three weeks on a Saturday…” Little me had unconsciously begun fiddling with the phone cord, twisting and untwisting it around my index finger,
“Of course you can, pumpkin! I’m assuming you wanted to go with Exer? Is his dad going with you? Does he want me to pay for anything?” My mum asked in quick succession of each other,
“Uh, yes, yes and I don’t think so!” I’d started to smile a little, contrasting my frown from when I was speaking to William. Mum always manages to put a grin on my face, even if it’s a small one,
“Well, please let me know whenever you find out!” She responded jovially,
“Alright, bye mama! Love you!”
“Bye, pumpkin! Love you too!” And with that, I hung up the phone.
The carnival was a great day out, as was evident from the huge, beaming faces that looked back at me in the photo. It just painfully reminded me when things were simpler, when I still saw William as a superhero, when he was still my father. That was all that my brain focused on, that and what he’d said in response to me wanting to hang out with Exer then and the rest he said over the phone. For one moment, for one god damn moment, could I not think of him? Think of how he made me feel? Think of how he treated me? Think of-
“Hey, She-ra!” I heard the unmistakable voice of Ricky snarl at me, slamming my locker door shut and revealing his face from where he had been standing just behind it.
Marty, Mariah and Norman accompanied him, all snickering at each other, especially Mariah who looked rather disgusted and unimpressed. Why, I didn’t know at the time, I just assumed they were poking fun of her for some miscellaneous reason which didn’t involve the conversation I was about to have with Ricky.
“Uh… hey…” I tentatively but suspiciously muttered, looking between my locker and the kids standing around me,
“So, what’s this about you and the king?” Ricky grinned devilishly, something that sent a shiver down my spine,
“What do you mean?” I asked carefully, removing any fear in my voice. Surely it didn’t get out that me and Exer were dating… right?
“About you two… y’know… being together?” Ricky leaned against the lockers.
What?
“H-huh? What are you on about?” As hard as I tried, I couldn’t help the fact my voice shook a little as I spoke,
“Don’t try that with me, Blondie!” Marty smirked, walking up and resting an arm on Ricky’s shoulder,
“Yeah, I heard you two kissing in the corridor earlier with my two ears! Exer was right, you shouldn’t have risked people seeing— or rather hearing— you kiss!” Ricky remarked, an evil chuckle escaping his lips.
No. No, no, no, no, no, this couldn’t be happening! I’d been so careful, both me and Exer! We were so careful, how could this have happened? Sure, I knew it was a risk to kiss Exer in the corridor, but I didn’t see anybody, it was the middle of class! I didn’t know anyone would be skipping, nor eavesdropping on someone’s conversation!
Everybody must’ve heard because everyone in the corridor who were even vaguely near us erupted into a cacophony of whispers, spreading further and further down in a sort of domino effect, like a twisted Mexican wave. If there was a chance I could’ve done any sort of damage control, that opportunity was long gone.
“W-what…?” Was all I could mutter, my eyes darting all over the place, from the crowd that was slowly gathering, to the photo in my locker. Ricky must’ve noticed me looking at the picture, because he laughed and ripped the photo off my locker, “What- hey!” I tried to sound assertive, but it only came out as a meek whisper,
“What? Want me to give you your boyfriend back?” Ricky grinned, holding the photo just out of reach.
I leaned forward to try and get it out of his hands, but he just kept moving it away so I couldn’t grab it. After the crowd let out a few laughs, Ricky held the picture with both hands between his thumbs and index fingers at the top of the photo,
“Wait, no!” I went to grab the picture one last time before it was ripped into two and dropped on the floor.
I wanted to pick up the pieces of paper, but I was frozen in place as the laughter got louder, slowly morphing into ringing in my ears. I could barely hear anything, barely see anything, all I could hear and see was Ricky in front of me.
That was until it all went quiet, everybody’s heads turning to the entrance to the school. The moment of clarity I felt from everyone going quiet soon subsided as I saw Exer standing in the doorway, looking quite confused.
He gradually trod over to where the crowd stood, pushing his way into the centre of the circle as everybody started mumbling to one another again. Exer gazed at me in puzzlement,
“Day… what’s going on?” His eyes sparkled with worry.
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out, so I just stayed silent as Ricky piped up,
“Oh, looky here! Hey, King! Just the guy I wanted to see!” He grinned, stepping beside Exer and wrapping an arm around him,
“What do you want, Ricky?” Exer asked suspiciously,
“Oh nothing, it’s more about what you want!” Ricky shrugged, eyes falling on me.
Exer looked back over to me with confusion, to which I averted my gaze and stared at the floor, my heart hammering in fear,
“…What do you mean?” Exer asked Ricky,
“You know, the fact you and David are dating!” Marty chimed in from where he stood, the whispers around getting louder.
“Look, I don’t know where you got the idea that we’re dating, but-“
“I don’t know, maybe the fact that you two kissed in the corridor earlier today!” Ricky elbowed Exer in the arm,
“Ow! Where’s your proof?” Exer demanded, leaving me unable to understand how he can stay so calm when I practically gave us away,
“Well, other than hearing you two talk after you guys were sent to the principal’s office, your little boyfriend here isn’t very good at keeping a secret! He may not have directly said anything, but the expression on his face said enough!” Ricky laughed viciously.
Exer gazed over at me, as if asking if it was any use, I looked up and gently shook my head, then went back to staring at the floor,
“So what?” Exer shrugged, a chorus of gasps and even more mutters sounded from around them,
“What do you mean ‘so what’?!” Ricky blinked,
“Why should I be ashamed?” Exer continued to press,
“Because it’s weird!” Ricky chuckled nervously,
“And?”
“I… I…”
“Exactly, come on, David, let’s go.” Exer sighed, gesturing for me to follow him.
I began to follow him when an arm flung itself in front of me, hindering me from moving further, I looked over to Ricky who’d stopped me,
“Don’t think you’re getting away with this!” He angrily mumbled, glaring as he dropped his arm so I could go.
I followed Exer, feeling the anger radiating from him, but it’s not like it wasn’t something I was used to. The photo Ricky had ripped up remained on the floor, and I wasn’t risking going back inside to retrieve it.
I was done with risks for now.
We continued to head outside, everyone’s eyes burning into us as we both trod in the direction of outside, relief flooding over me when we left the school building and trekked to the car, climbing into the front seats.
“You alright, Day?” Exer asked gently, I could only give him a small shrug in response, “You sure? You look a bit shaken up, is all…” He continued to press, but still, I said nothing. Though Exer did let out a sigh, he respected my wishes to stay quiet and turned his full attention to driving.
After a couple moments passed, I spoke up in a barely audible whisper,
“I’m sorry…”
“What? What for?” Exer raised an eyebrow, his eyes looking between me and the road,
“For getting us into this mess, I shouldn’t have kissed you in that corridor… it’s all my fault…” My voice shook as I spoke,
“Day… don’t blame yourself… how were you meant to know someone was around? Everybody should’ve been in class!” Exer pointed out, tapping a finger on the steering wheel which was something he often did, but my paranoid state made me interpret it as a sign he was annoyed with me.
“It doesn’t matter if I should’ve or shouldn’t have known, all that matters is that I took a risk which clearly didn’t pay off! After all, it’s not rare for kids to skip, especially people like Ricky and Marty! I mean, you used to skip all the time! Still don’t understand how you managed to get such good grades even with you not turning up to class much…” I ranted, sniffing a little,
“Hey! I didn’t skip that often, it was only really when you weren’t in that class… as for the good grades… no clue!” The way he said the last part was quite nervous, though he was generally quite an anxious person, so it was probably nothing… at least that’s what I was telling myself in fear I said something wrong.
“Or if I wasn’t in school!” I continued,
“I’d only skip a few lessons in those cases…” Exer answered with a slight, dramatic whimper in his tone,
“Yeah, bet it was to make out with Brenda!” I scoffed, crossing my arms,
“Oh, come on! We weren’t making out that often!” Exer chuckled, a small smile crossing his face,
“So, you still did?” I bantered, the conversation momentarily distracting me from what happened at school just now,
“Don’t act like we haven’t made out before, Mr Jealous!” Exer rolled his eyes in amusement, the comment making my face flush wildly,
“W-well… it’s different when we’re talking about my sister…” I defensively added,
“I know, love, you can be very overprotective of her…” Exer grinned, knowing the reaction it would get out of me, strong enough for me to not notice the pet name he’d given me, something that usually triggered me so we’d agreed to not use them for a while.
“I’m not over protective! Just ordinary protective!” I huffed, pouting a little,
“Trust me, as someone who’s been on the receiving end of your overprotectiveness, you are! You didn’t talk to me for ages when you found out about me and her!” Exer argued back, if it wasn’t for the massive grin on his face and the glint of mischief in his eyes, I’d thought he was genuinely getting frustrated— though nowadays it didn’t take much for me to think that way,
“You know full well that it wasn’t just because I was mad at you for dating my sister behind my back, sure, it was a big part, but I was also in denial about my feelings for you!” I retorted, taking Exer’s chuckle and lack of further response as a sign that he had no answer, taking it as I won the argument.
I must’ve looked visibly happy about it as Exer was staring into my eyes, something he only did when my eyes sparkled with the essence of my past self— to quote his words. That feeling of happiness that was just stirring in my chest began to subside, restoring my gaze to that dullness everybody had gotten used to at this point.
I hated that I was just a shadow of my former self. He used to be so happy, so optimistic, nobody could step on his sunshine, except for the time he was upset with Exer and suppressing the romantic feelings he felt towards Exer. But now, he was drowning in the darkness that suddenly flooded in, leaving him to struggle for his life while I was left to deal with the flood that still resonates within me. I need to rehome him and my emotions, but first I need to build the new houses, but I don’t know where to start! Not without the precious material that is optimism for the foundation! And I hated that this was the one time I’d run out of stock.
After a little longer of silence, save for Exer tapping his finger on the wheel and the wind speeding past our ears as the engine pushed us on, producing an equal amount of noise, we arrived at the place I now called home– my mum’s. The drive was somewhat relaxing, all the sounds balancing with each other in an almost harmonious way (something I’d never paid much attention to before), but my thoughts stirring around in my head made the lack of talking agonsing, so I was only half glad to be out the car now.
I clambered out the passenger seat, plodding to the front door when I felt a hand on my shoulder,
“Hey, Day? I just wanted to say something before you go.” I turned round to, unsurprisingly, find that the hand belonged to Exer,
“Mhm?” I meekly responded.
“Tomorrow might not be… the most pleasant day, and I don’t think the days after that will be particularly great either to put it lightly… but I’ll try to keep us safe, okay? I’ll continue as we normally do when we’re at school, nothing will change, I’ll stay by your side for as long and as much as you need me to be. And as always, if tomorrow really does suck, like, really , suck… you can stay over at mine, have a sleepover, like we used to before… everything… that sound good?” Exer reassured me, something I was extremely grateful for,
“I’m not incapable of protecting myself, you know?” I answered, trying to sound more confident than I was. Fake it ‘til you make it, right?
“Yeah, I know, but if you freeze up again you’ll have me to fall back on.” Exer smiled gently,
“Alright… thanks, Ex…” I gave him a smile of my own, albeit more sad,
“You’re welcome… want a hug?” Exer asked, opening his arms. I hesitated for a moment before hugging him back, the closest we would be able to get to showing physical affection in public. Unfortunately, I had to learn that the hard way.
I don’t know what I was thinking, kissing Exer in the hallway, but I attempted to push it to the back of my mind as I grabbed my house key from my pocket. The key chain it hung on looked a lot emptier without my key to my old home, something I noticed and felt by the lack of extra weight. Even if a key doesn’t weigh a lot, it was still very apparent to me that there used to be something there that wasn’t any more. I glanced at Exer as he sat back down in his car, putting his own key in to get his car started, so I slotted my key into the door and opened it at almost the exact same time as Exer, though he’d set off a few seconds before I finished unlocking the front door.
Brenda came down almost immediately,
“Hey, David! What took you so long? I started to get worried!” She wrapped me in a tight embrace, I hugged her back but my arms were a lot more slack than hers. Brenda gave me a look, raising an eyebrow as she questioningly said, “Can’t tell if you’re a normal level of sad or if there’s more on your mind… lets go to our room and you can tell me if something’s up other than the usual, only if you want to of course!” I shrugged in response, getting dragged up the stairs to our room in turn.
Our room.
It still just felt so… weird. It didn’t sound right. This was Brenda’s room. Her walls— which were once half pink and half orange, indicating our sides of the room when we both lived here before Mum and William got divorced— were now fully pink. This was Brenda’s room. Her pretty bed sat in the corner of the room, hugging the walls either side of it with pink bed sheets to match the walls, though the duvet was chequered with white. This was Brenda’s room. Her fluffy carpet that always stayed soft underfoot no matter how many times you spilled a drink on it. And there was my corner, a deflated air mattress with a white throw off of Brenda’s bed to use as bed sheets, my pyjamas dumped on top of it inelegantly.
As I casted my mind back to when I was younger, I remember that the reason that my half of the walls were amber was because they reminded me of Exer’s eyes. God, I was down so bad without even realising it! I sigh as I plopped myself next to Brenda on her bed once she sat down herself.
“So, what happened?” She prompted. I then continued to explain what had happened before Exer and I left, the encounter with Ricky, the kiss in the hallway, the aftermath, all of it. It took a good few minutes but it left Brenda absolutely shocked and me a little shook from having to relive it.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry that happened!” She said, shaking her head as she raised her hands to her mouth,
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault. You weren’t there, you couldn’t have done anything…” I sniffed,
“C’mere, lemme give you a hug!” She outstretched her arms, which I just fell into and let her hold me close to her chest, tears pricking my eyes— but I tried dabbing my hand on them in an attempt to stop them coming. A habit I’d gotten into.
Brenda must’ve noticed as she whispered back,
‘It’s alright, you can cry, you’ll feel better! It’s not weak, in fact, showing your emotions is a sign of emotional maturity and understanding, which is more important than being manly in my opinion…!” She soothed, “Am I okay to touch your hair?” I nodded as I burst out into tears, trying to get as few water droplets on her shirt as I could.
The tears that came out were far from pretty, they were as ugly as they could get. I cried and cried untiI I couldn’t cry anymore, when my eyes were wrung out, dry. The same could not be said for Brenda’s t-shirt, however, being damper than a towel dropped in a bath,
“Sorry… your shirt’s really wet now…” I cleared my throat, wiping my eyes and nose on the back of my sleeve,
“It’s fine, it’s not an issue for me, I’d much rather have a wet shirt than you bottle up your emotions…” Brenda shook her head, a gentle smile across her face. It annoyed me how she still stayed so optimistic while I couldn’t. What was her secret? Why was she keeping it from me?
“So… am I dropping you off at school tomorrow morning or is Exer, given everything? I don’t mind going in by myself, if that matters.” Brenda asked,
“I mean… I don’t know which one will cause less disturbance… if I arrive with Exer, there’ll be a lot of rumours and gossip as soon as we get in. Though won’t that happen either way? I don’t know, should I even bother with damage control?” I sighed, looking up at Brenda,
“Personally, I think the damage has been done and there’s little you can control… so just go with whatever feels right, okay?” She responded. So much for optimism… maybe mine isn’t completely gone, there seems to be an essence of it remaining.
I thought for a moment. Sure, it would be nice to go in with Exer, but would it be nicer to go with Brenda? Both wouldn’t mind picking me up, but if I decide to stay around Exer’s tonight, shouldn’t I spend more time with Brenda? But what if Exer was getting teased and I wasn't there to help or be with him? I’d feel so bad… decisions had never been my strong suit, but after a good while of deliberation, I decided on Exer picking me up. Both me and Brenda called Exer up to tell him this, unsurprisingly, he was happy to do so and my ride tomorrow was sorted.
A few hours passed of me and Brenda idly chatting with a break for dinner in between, and now, it was a good time to get some rest. So, I put on pyjamas, brushed my teeth, packed my bag for tomorrow and climbed into my air mattress which I had to pump up a little. Mum and Brenda didn’t often go camping or anything like that, so I assumed it hadn't been used a lot.
I wrapped the blanket around me as I lay my head on the pillow with one hand supporting it, the other resting on my chest as I stared at the ceiling, something I often did when dealing with my newfound insomnia. Making patterns out of the weirdly textured ceiling, I sighed to myself as the thoughts of what tomorrow could bring infiltrated my head, but I tried pushing them away. That was the last thing that would help me get to sleep.
As always, it took a good couple hours for my eyes to begin to droop, when the pushing the thoughts away and making patterns out of the ceiling markings finally started to do its job of helping me get to sleep. Another hour passed before I actually fall asleep, not leaving a lot of hours between now and when I had to get up. But, it was routine at this point. Sleep late, wake up early for school. I often felt like just staying in bed rather than going to school, or getting up entirely, not seeing the point. Something told me that the next morning would be one of those days…
~
My hunch was right, it was one of those days. Brenda had to practically drag me out of bed!
I half-heartedly got ready for the day, chucking on whatever clothes I could find in my wardrobe, putting little to no thought into what I was wearing. Breakfast didn’t really appeal to me today, so I decided to skip it and just do my teeth and brush my hair, only bothering to style it slightly.
Looking up at the mirror, I could see it picturing a blond-haired boy with bags the size of boulders hanging under his eyes. The blue eyes that bored into me were duller than a rock, his pale skin the same colour as chalk. Some days, I struggle to believe that I am that boy in the mirror.
Brenda knocks on the door,
“Hurry up in there!” She yelled. I sighed, unlocking the bathroom door and leaving. The wait for Exer to get here was excruciating, the thoughts circling in my mind like vultures around prey, stressing about what people would say or how they’d react today. Not positively considering the events of yesterday, that’s for sure.
Needless to say, I was dreading school more than I’ve ever done before.
After a while of waiting on the sofa in the living room, my heart beating fast and my leg aggressively bouncing, I heard a car horn outside. My head immediately snapped up as I grabbed my school bag and left the house, plodding over to Exer’s car.
I climbed into the passenger seat, looking at Exer. He gently smiled, but I could see the worry in his eyes,
“…Ready…?” Exer breathed,
“No… but I never will be.” I admitted, nodding my head slightly as I gave Exer my own weak smile. He sighed as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, shakily inputting the car key into the ignition and turning it. Noticing Exer’s anxiety, I placed my hand on top of his hand, the one which sat on the gears, and I earned a grateful smile.
We stayed silent for the entire journey, me stroking the back of Exer’s hand with a thumb as the destination of school drew imminently closer, my pulse quickening every inch we got nearer. The fear ran in my blood, cold, icy cold, and I could feel myself beginning to freeze up.
Eventually, we arrived, my hand immediately snatched away from Exer’s as we got out the car. The both of us shakily sighed, shared a look, then entered the school building. And, as expected, we were greeted by whispers and snickers.
This was going to be a fun day, wasn’t it?