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When she found it online, just browsing on Chirper, it felt like a perfect joke to conceal behind a gift. Little did she know, it was almost a blessing in disguise.
“Thank you for shopping here! Hope to see you again soon!”
“More like you wanna see my money again…” Surge mutters. “Whatever, we got what we needed!”
Surge and Kit exit the store and now makeway for their destination. After they got a random empty box that could fit the items they’ve bought.
“Uh, ma’am?” Kit starts, a little nervous. “Are you sure you want to go through this?” What they’ve bought wasn’t dangerous in the slightest but whether it’s received well is the issue.
“C’mon Drippy, what’s the worse that could happen?” Surge grins, that same wild grin whenever a “good” idea pops into her head. She holds up the t-shirts in the air, “‘Sides, I already spent money on this and I don’t feel like goin’ back for a refund.”
SLAM!
“WASSUP, FUCKERS?!”
It was a relatively nice morning at the Restoration. Keyword: Was. Surge just kicked the door into the Neo Diamond Cutters’ office. In said office lies the members of the team who respectively have varied reactions to what has happened to their door.
Whisper just deadpans with little to no emotion on her face at all. Lanolin, on the other hand, is glaring holes into the tenrec and Tangle just waves happily, seemingly uncaring about the loss of their door.
“Surge.” Lanolin says through gritted teeth. “That door was a pull to open.”
The tenrec spares a look towards the now broken door. Its hinges were all broken off. A seemingly normal door despite how important and private the room was meant for.
…
“We’ll get a new one.”
Whisper sighs and shakes her head, while Lanolin mutters something about needing another cup of coffee and some aspirin. Tangle just grins like this was an everyday occurrence. To be fair to her, it might as well be.
“Heya, Surge! What's gotcha so worked up?”
Surge matches the lemur’s expression with a grin of her own. “I’ve come here with the most important thing in the world! As of,” She takes a quick glance at the clock on the wall, “A few hours ago!”
As she says this, Kit enters the room, who had seemingly lagged behind but is relieved that he finally caught up. He sighs with equal parts of exhaustion and relief. Although he does a double take when he notices the door torn from its hinges. The fennec gestures to it and Lanolin just points towards his sister. No questions were asked or necessary after that.
The tenrec makes eye contact with the scout. “A little pidgey—or more accurately, a blue asshole—told me that it was your birthday sometime last month!” Surge smiles with her teeth. It’s not soothing at all. “So I thought that I’d give you something! Hell, it’s something for Stripes and Dinnerbell too.” She shoves the rectangular box rather aggressively into the wolf’s hands.
(“My name is Lanolin…” The sheep mutters with exasperation.)
The box is immediately met with skepticism. “...You bought me a gift?”
“Yes.” Surge nods, the smile not leaving her face.
“...A gift.”
“That’s whatcha ya do for the birthday girl, no?”
“Depends on who is giving it.”
Tangle comes over and drapes an arm over the wolf’s shoulders. “Aw c’mon, Whispy! If it’s a gift for all three of us it can’t be that bad, right?”
Whisper huffs. “Sure.”
“Look Sunshine,” That earns an immediate glare from her towards the tenrec, “you can either take the gift and accept that this nice thing I did for you. OR!” She’s grinning again. Whisper hates that she’s grinning again. “You can keep denying the gift horse.”
“That’s not how the saying goes.” Lanolin monotony comments.
“That’s stupid. Who wouldn’t want a horse as a gift?”
Whisper eyes the rectangular box with suspicion. It, frankly, does seem harmless. However, that doesn’t mean it is. It could be a trap or an explosive—it could be anything! She never liked surprises for a reason. Too unpredictable. Sure, it could be good but it could also be bad. Very bad.
She already experienced one surprise for a lifetime and it was enough for her, thanks.
Did she trust Surge? No, she did not nor ever will.
Never forget. Never forgive.
…
But she trusted Tangle. Lanolin.
“Sooo, what is it?” Tangle says as she shakes the box. “It’s barely making any noise. Is it food?”
“If it was food Stripes, it wouldn’t be in a box.” Surge deadpans.
Lanolin shrugs. “Sounds like something you would do.”
The tenrec pouts. “C’mon Dinnerbell—”
“Quit calling me that.”
“—Do I really seem like the kinda gal who would just pack some food into another box and conceal it as a gift?”
“Hm.” She thinks for a nanosecond. “Yes.”
Neither of them seem to think this could be harmful. Then again, Tangle wouldn’t think that. Not at first, anyway. Lanolin, on the other hand, would. She likes that. One is optimistic and the other is cautious. It’s a nice balance.
As it stands now, neither sheep or lemur believe the gift could end in disaster.
Maybe… she’s being a bit paranoid. Just a smidge.
“Fine. I’ll open it.”
Everyone stops for a moment. Surge gains a sharp-tooth grin, Tangle gains one too, only Whisper actually likes it. Lanolin simply just raises an eyebrow. Kit looks like he’s about to fall asleep. That boy is not listening at all.
“Ohohoho?” Surge lightly cackled, then gained a disgusted look. “Eugh, why did I laugh like that… Anyways, quit giving it the stink eye and open it if you’re not gonna be all suspicious of it already!”
Whisper huffs, just mentally done with the tenrec for all of time, and grabs the box. With only slight trepidation, she grabs the lid and plucks it open in a quick pull.
Huh. Are those shirts? Okay, she supposes that’s not so bad. Whisper grabs one and unfolds it.
…
What.
“Do you like it?” Surge grins.
What is this.
Whisper just stares, dumbfounded at what she just received. Lanolin and Tangle peek into the box and the lemur's eyes nearly pop out of her eye sockets while the sheep takes a long sip of her coffee, not completely registering the gift yet.
It was a couple of shirts. Normally, that would warrant a completely normal reaction as it'd just be a T-shirt with some odd logo or image or… something. Not this. Oh Gods above and below, not this.
Tangle grabs one of the few shirts and presents it. “Wow.”
“I ♥️ Fat Ladies” was printed in bold and comic sans font, fully capitalized. Dead center on the front.
Now, it was no real secret that Whisper, alongside Lanolin since this was also meant for her, has a bigger body type compared to the average mobian. And of course, they were far from the only ones who had that attribute.
It would seem that this detail encouraged Surge to come up with these shirts.
“Well?” She asked, with what is probably the most shit-filled grin Whisper has ever seen in her life. And she’s lived with Slinger. “By the way, that’s not all the shirts. There’s more underneath.”
She’s right. Under the first few shirts are the clothes that, presumably, Surge said were for her and Lanolin.
On these two particular shirts, the words “I Am Fat Ladies” were engraved on the front. They were also in bold comic sans font. Wonderful. Awesome. How… thoughtful. Obviously meant to be a matching set, with Tangle and Jewel wearing the first set and their girlfriends, respectively, wearing the second.
The lightning green tenrec walks over and decides to hand the pairs of shirts personally. Tangle receives one deeming her love of fat ladies while Lanolin and Whisper obtain the ones depicting that they are the fat ladies in question.
…
Surge snickers. “Well? What do ya think?”
Even though it was supposedly Whisper's birthday present, sort of, Lanolin answers for the both of them with a thousand-mile stare on her face. “I don’t know how to feel about this.”
“I’ll take it!” Surge cackles. She stands up and makes a show of stretching nonchalantly, “Glad y'all like the gifts. Hope I got them in the right size!”
The tenrec then zips out of the room in a flash of lightning, the motion causing the fennec to startle awake. He does a double take with the exit and the Diamond Cutters before eventually running out the door, presumably to follow Surge.
Not before saying, “Um! Hope you liked the gift?” He shrugs nervously, leaving out the door in a hurry.
The trio are left there with the clothing, with Lanolin and Whisper questioning their life at the moment. Tangle rummages through the assortment of shirts.
“There's two of each. Um.” The lemur fidgets a bit, “I'm gonna guess that. Um. These two are for me and Jewel.” She holds up the shirts that proclaim the wearer's love for fat ladies. “And the other two are. For you guys.” Tangle looks like she ate a lemon. She must be trying very hard not to laugh.
Whisper and Lanolin carefully, almost like it was a bomb, take their gifts into their hands. Whisper in particular looks at the shirt with a frown. She begins to look for something meant to still be attached to it. The sheep still looks far away from here.
The wolf finds what she’s looking for—a tag indicating where the shirt was made. A store called “Weave & Sow”. Its address is labeled on the tag too, indicating that it’s not far from them.
“Hm.” Whisper thinks to herself. It couldn’t have cost much to have these shirts custom made if Surge of all people managed to gather enough funds for four shirts, two of different design.
Therein lies the opportunity.
“Oh, I know that look.” Tangle says with a justifiable amount of skepticism. “What are you planning?”
“A visit.” Whisper shows the address to her. “If Surge thinks it’s fine to have these shirts then maybe she should have one too.”
Confused, Tangle asks, “You’re gonna make her one of these shirts too?”
She nods, "But with a twist. I saw this one meme a while back on Chirper. Gonna add that.”
“So you’re gonna prank her?” Lanolin snaps to attention, her eyebrow raised in curiosity.
“Mhm. I think I know how to go about it.” Whisper confirms. She turns to Tangle and sighs. “Hun, please take off the shirt.”
“...Can I wear it as a pajama?”
“...Fine.”
After a few hours, it was time to put Whisper’s plan into action. She and Lanolin (not entirely by choice, just curious to see how this ends) had just returned from tracking down where Surge had made these shirts and had decided on making one of their own. As a “gift” for the tenrec.
“Alright, I understand the joke here but how exactly are you going to make her put it on without her noticing?” Lanolin asks. “I doubt she’s that dumb.”
“I have a very thin layer I could put over it. I’ll just pretend I’m taking off a tag or something.” Whisper explains. “Now, she just has to put it on.”
“And then what? The joke doesn’t really work without another girl with her.”
“Exactly, so I–.”
“Heya, nerds!”
The woman of the hour. A little early but that’s fine. She’s over to them in a flash of a thunderstrike, smirking with a full show of teeth.
“Dinnerbell.” A nod. “Sunshine.” A smirk.
“Stop it.” Whisper deadpans.
Surge cackles a bit before sobering up. “Whadja call me here for? We finally goin’ on another mission?” She makes a show of cracking her knuckles, a bit of her electricity crackling.
Here we go.
Whisper clears her throat before speaking. “I wanted to pay you back. For the gift you gave me and Lanolin.”
“Oh?” Surge's eyebrow is raised, surprised.
The wolf presents her with the custom-made shirt she pulls out from behind her back.
Surge gasps and almost snatches it out of her grasp.
Right in front of her is a shirt made by the same small shop her and Kit had visited earlier today. It was almost identical to what Surge had gifted them. However, the stark difference between them and this one was that it was personalized to fit with Surge’s “theme”.
“I ♥️ Fat Ladies” was embedded at the front but the heart was pink and the words were green and capitalized. Thunder strikes were on each side of the proclamation.
It was the most beautiful thing the tenrec had ever seen.
⚡ I 🩷 FAT LADIES⚡
“I love it.” She grins. She looks at the two of them, “This is awesome.” The grin drops a bit, the cyborg squinting a bit in suspicion. “Almost too awesome. What’s the catch?”
Whisper raises her hands raised in defence. “No catch. We liked your gift.”
She then looks at Lanolin, having not said anything yet, who just shrugs. “It was… alright.”
“...Hm.” Surge hums. The grin then returns in fullforce. “Alright then! I’mma put this on right now.”
She dumps the shirt over her head and does just that. It matches pretty well with her outfit. Then again, black kinda matches with everything.
“It even fits! Man, you two must’ve really liked the gift huh?” She examines her fit with a sharp smile.
Whisper gives the same look to Lanolin, with the sheep mirroring her. Time for phase two.
The wolf looks back at Surge, “We have another shirt to give you.” She says.
Surge blinks, confused. “Alright?”
Lanolin hands her a very familiar shirt. It’s the same one that was meant to match with the one that Surge is wearing. Except this time, it was in cursive pink.
I Am “Fat Ladies".
Needless to say, the tenrec is confused. She holds the shirt in her hands, “Whose this meant for? Clearly not me.”
“Nope. It’s not for you.” Whisper smirks. “It’s meant for her.” She points behind the tenrec.
“Oh!”
Surge whips around to where she’s pointing, with a blush coloring her muzzle almost immediately upon hearing the voice calling for them.
Amy Rose is making her way towards the trio.
The lightning green cyborg whips back to the wolf, hissing, “You little shit. You set this up.”
“I wonder if you’ll back down from this.” Whisper smiles, teeth showing.
“Like hell I will!”
See, Surge clearly has a crush on the pink hedgehog. However, she had not yet gathered the courage to ask her out on a date. Using these shirts, she would essentially be confessing her love for Amy which Whisper had planned all along.
After all, Amy fits the description as well. She is indeed a “fat lady” as Surge would put it.
Amy skids to stop, having been jogging, and greets them with a smile. “Hey, guys!” She looks to Surge specifically, “Hiya, Surge!”
“H-Hey, Pinky!” Surge tries for a confident grin but it comes as more of a nervous one. “Whatcha doing here for?”
“Whisper texted me and said you had something for me! A gift?” She tilts her head cutely.
Sweat begins to drip down the tenrec’s large forehead.
…No. I won’t let them win!
“I do! Here, take a look!” She grins, exuding full confidence and hands Amy the shirt.
The hedgehog gingerly takes the shirt. She visibly goes through the five stages of grief for gift-receiving: confusion, realization, more confusion, staunch realization and finally, sometimes happiness.
Amy looks at the shirt Surge is wearing. She gets the idea almost immediately.
“Surge,” She starts, a sly smile on her face, “did you go through all this trouble just to say you love me?”
…
Huh?
“Wha?”
The smile is gone in seconds, “I-I mean, unless I misinterpreted the whole thing with the shirts then–!
“Well, I mean… I won’t say you’re off target.”
Amy’s voice comes to a halt. “O-Oh?”
“Can’t say I planned for this…” Surge glares at the sheep and wolf behind her, who just give her a thumbs up and an innocent look respectively, “But if a dumb shirt means I get to say somethin’ I’ve been meanin’ to say then… Sure.”
Amy grins, full of life and love, and pulls Surge by her collar to plant a kiss on the cheek. The tenrec faces become flushed with red faster than Sonic Speed.
“A.” She squeaks. Whisper covers a snort under her hand but Surge still glares at her. Lanolin almost looks like she’s about to nod off.
She clears her throat, “So uh, does this mean we’re… together?”
“I’d say so, yeah.” Amy confirms, happily. “Say, why don’t we go out on a date?”
“What, like, right now?”
“Yeah! There’s this arcade I know of at the mall and I’ve been meaning to go there for a while! You wanna come with me?”
Surge nods her head fervently, “Oh absolutely.”
“Perfect!” The hedgehog lets go of her and she tries not to pout at the loss of contact, “Lemme just go check up on things with Jewel and I’ll meet you at the entrance. Be right back!” She runs off in a hurry, clearly eager to spend the day with Surge.
Speaking of, she almost sighs dreamily were it not for a snicker that escaped the mouth of one particular wolf. She whips around and sends a narrow glare her way.
“Thin ice, Squinty.” Surge jabs a finger into her gut but it is promptly smacked away.
“What for? You got a date. The shirts match too, like how you wanted.” Whisper points out.
The tenrec opens her mouth to debate on that but nothing comes out. She’s not wrong. The purpose of these shirts was for matching with someone else. Surge has that someone now.
“Fair enough.” She grumbles. “I better see you wearing it once though! Now if you’ll excuse me, I got a date to go on.” She’s about to zip off before Whisper catches her.
“Wait hold on, you got something on your back.”
Surge blinks, “Oh. Thanks.”
Behind her, Whisper grins—a full on evil, scheming grin the likes of which are only seen on people like Eggman. She grabs a loose strap by the collar of the shirt and gently tears off the hidden layer revealing a wall of text not meant for the eyes of the current wearer.
I DON’T QUESTION MY GIRLFRIEND’S CHOICES BECAUSE I’M ONE OF THEM
Perfect.
“I got it off.”
“Neat. See you later, bozos!”
Now, she offs in a sudden strike of lightning.
Mission complete.
Whisper’s ear flicks on catching something next to her. She turns and sees Lanolin sipping on a cup of coffee.
“...Where’d you get that?”
“Oh, I left for a bit to get it.” Lanolin answers, “Did you succeed?”
“I did. Surge has a date now.”
“Really? With who?”
“Amy. The shirt sort of backfired on us—”
“You mean you.”
“—and now they’re dating inadvertently because of it.”
“...Huh. Well, that’s not a bad thing.” Lanolin shrugs.
“Agreed.”
The duo jump at the sudden voice. They find Kit sipping on a juice box, watching the new couple walk away.
“Where did–? Were you here the whole time?” Whisper questions, surprise evident.
“Mhm.” He nods. “Well, kinda. I got here after Ma’am. But I did watch the whole thing.”
Lanolin and Whisper glance at each other. They don’t know the whole story, not really, but they were both aware of the conditions of how Surge and Kit came to be… well, Surge and Kit. If Starline weren’t already dead, they’d kill him twice over.
The concern is how well Kit is taking someone else becoming important in Surge’s life. His programming, to state. It’s not hard to put together.
Kit knows it too from how he deadpans, “I know what you’re thinking.”
Both of the older islanders wince. “Sorry.” Lanolin says.
“It’s fine. I guess.” Kit said. “And it’s understandable, I think. My programming conflicts with allowing someone else to mean so much to Surge. When it’s suppo– feels like it’s meant to be solely me. That I’m the only one she needs.
“So, I came up with a loophole.”
Lanolin and Whisper raise their eyebrows in surprise.
“Her happiness is my ultimate goal. In allowing someone else to be this close to her—she is happier for it.” He explains. “At least, that’s what I hope for.”
The sheep reaches a hand out, albeit hesitantly, to softly pat him on the head. He flinches slightly before looking at her.
“I bet she is. With you and Amy—both of you.”
Kit stares at her, wide eyed. Lanolin swears she could see a very tiny smile grace his face.
“Yeah. Maybe.” He whispers. He catches something out of the corner of his eye. “Speaking of people you’re happy with…”
The two look at where the fennec is looking and…
Oh my Gods… They both think simultaneously.
Tangle and Whisper approach them with very familiar shirts on their person. Jewel has her head in her palms while Tangle grins at them, clearly proud.
They’re wearing shirts that Surge got for them. The ones stating their love for women like their girlfriends.
“Hey guys, how’s it going?” Tangle greets them nonchalantly. Jewel makes a noise similar to a screechy wail. It’s muffled through her palms.
“...Hey, Tangle. Jewel.” Whisper speaks for her and Lanolin. “I know you liked the shirt, Tangle, but Jewel?”
“Well admittedly, I encouraged her to wear it.”
“She did not encourage,” Jewel doesn’t look up as she says this. “She made me wear it.”
“Wha–? No, I did not! You agreed–!”
“No I didn’t, don’t believe her Lin–!”
And now they’re squabbling.
…Hm.
“Honestly, this whole situation made me aware that apparently I’m bigger than I thought.” Lanolin mutters. “Didn’t think it was all that noticeable.”
“...Yeah. Now that you mention it…” Whisper glumly says.
Both of them had a talk about this before—when the wolf had first noticed the change she’s experienced, with the sheep comforting her about it. Both of them had come out of that conversation more confident in how they look and are.
Now, though? Now that Surge had seen fit to bring these shirts to them? It dawned on them that maybe they changed too much. It was unintentional, for sure, and neither of them really blame the tenrec for this realization. They just thought it wasn’t really all that noticeable through their respective outfits.
Now, they were feeling some slight body dysphoria from all of this.
“I think it’s time I go on a diet.” Lanolin murmurs.
Whisper nods, “Me too. Maybe we could–.”
“Please don’t.”
Tangle and Jewel suddenly clamp their hands over their respective mouths while Lanolin and Whisper stare at the two, surprised and what may have been a sudden blush filling their muzzles.
They immediately begin to apologize, saying they’re sorry, that whatever they choose to do is up to themselves and they respect that because of course they do, but Whisper and Lanolin just smile bashfully and shake their heads.