Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Buck would like it to be known, that all he was trying to do was be a good person. 

“Yeah, so Harvey isn’t yours,” Kameron says, her voice almost chipper.

He always hated the name they picked, Harvey. Harv. It made his nose scrunch without meaning too. 

“What do you mean, he isn’t Buck’s?” Eddie asked, his voice low but steady. Sweet, steadfast Eddie, who hadn’t let go of Buck’s hand for the last ten minutes.

When Connor had text and asked if he’d like to meet for lunch, for the first time since little Harvey had been born on his couch, Buck had been hesitant. But Connor had been insistent and Eddie had offered to join him and so he’d agreed reluctantly.

Now he wishes he’d continued dodging his messages.

“Well see it’s the blood,” Kameron replied, like this was some lighthearted trivia. “I’m A, and Buck, you’re A too, right?”

“Right” He mutters. 

“Harvey is B!” She laughs. 

Why was she laughing? This wasn’t funny.

This was insane.

Buck turned to Eddie, who looked as stunned as he felt, mouth hanging open like a fish. At least he wasn’t imagining the absurdity.

“So… Harvey’s biological father is?” Buck finally asked.

Kameron shrugged. “No idea.”

“You have no idea?” Buck said, voice low and disbelieving. Why wasn’t she panicking?

“The clinic is investigating,” Connor cut in, trying to sound diplomatic. Harvey sat on his lap, chubby hands busy scribbling on a menu with a crayon. “It’s all under review.” 

How long have they known?

“Well, okay,” Buck says slowly, nodding like that explanation made any of this better. He glanced at Eddie, whose brow furrowed in the way it did when he was trying to work through something complicated, his math face, like calculating the flow rate on a busted hydrant.

“So,” Eddie began, pulling his hand away from Buck’s to rest it on his knee instead, giving it a supportive squeeze, “what happened to Buck’s donation?”

Oh, shit.

That hadn’t even occurred to him.

He turned back to Kameron and Connor, who exchanged a look. Kameron smacked Connor lightly on the arm and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“The clinic thinks…” Connor hesitated, biting his lip as he stroked Harvey’s hair. “They think your… um… your stuff…”

Dear God. Someone shoot him now.

“…was probably mixed up with someone else’s,” Connor finished.

“Like a Jane the Virgin type mix-up!” Kameron added, laughing again.

She laughs, like this is funny and there isn’t some random kid that’s biologically his running around somewhere that he didn’t agree too.  

His skin crawls as a wave of nausea hits him. Bile rises in his throat and he swallows hard, trying to push it back down. Desperate to steady himself, he grabs his drink and takes a small sip, hoping it will calm the churning in his stomach.

“Yeah, except this isn’t a TV show,” Eddie snapped, his voice cold and sharp. “This is Buck’s actual life. It’s not exactly a joke.”

“Right, of course,” Kameron stammered, her smile fading.

Connor shifted uncomfortably. “We can’t do anything on that end,” he says, glancing at Kameron like he was asking for permission to keep talking. “You know, since it doesn’t really involve us.”

Buck blinked at him, dumbfounded.

Doesn’t involve you?

“Because of how we did it, as we’re friends…” Connor begins hastily. Buck is regretting this friendship more and more as this conversation goes on. “you didn’t sign your rights away until after Harvey was born, so technically, your…” Connor faltered and covered Harvey’s ears. “…your… um…your come” Buck cringes. 

“Call it a sample, baby” Kameron corrects, tapping his arm again. 

“Right. Your sample,” Connor said, cringing harder than Buck just did. “They didn’t have the right to use it anywhere else. So whatever they did with it, whatever kid or kids, because it’s a donor clinic too, that are out there, they could legally be linked to you.”

Buck’s stomach drops.

“You probably want to get a lawyer,” Kameron says quietly.  

Buck stared at her, feeling the weight of Eddie’s gaze burning into his profile. This wasn’t just bad, this was a fucking disaster.

“How the hell did you even meet those idiots?” Eddie grumbles as they slide into his Jeep.

“You know—”

“It’s not a real question, Buck,” Eddie cuts him off, one brow raised. “I know how you met him, dumbass. Two dumbasses cross paths in Peru, I’ve heard it.” He rubs a hand over his face, groaning. “Then one dumbass is firing blanks, and the other dumbass has a heart of gold. I know the story.”

Buck snorts softly, sinking into his seat. The silence stretches for a beat.

“So…” Buck finally ventures, his voice low, “you think I’ve got, like, a million kids out there?”

Eddie barks a laugh. “I mean, statistically? Maybe even without this mess.”

“I always wear condoms,” Buck mutters, tapping the steering wheel, glancing at Eddie with a betrayed expression.

Eddie smirks, leaning back smugly. “Yeah? I’ve got firsthand evidence that’s not entirely true.”

“Well, you’re different,” Buck fires back, cheeks flushing.

“Aww, thanks, baby. Warms my heart.” Eddie snorts, shaking his head.

“Just like when I don’t wear—”

“You finish that sentence and I’ll never let you come in me again,” Eddie warns, pointing a finger at him with mock seriousness.

It’s the first time Buck smiles since they left that tense meeting with Connor and Kameron, Eddie always makes things better.

The humor fades as Buck stares ahead. “I don’t want a bunch of kids out there with my genes,” he whispers, gaze dropping to his hands. He picks at a nail absentmindedly.

“Buck.” Eddie slides a hand over to stop his self destructive fidgeting. His touch is steady, grounding. “It’s going to be okay.”

Buck shakes his head. “I can’t handle that, Eddie.” His voice cracks, and he rubs at his face. “I didn’t sign up to be some random donor. I did it for them. Connor and Kameron. That was the deal and I was okay with it. I made peace with it… I chose it.” He gestures to himself, frustrated.

“And you didn’t choose this,” Eddie finishes softly.

Buck looks up at him, eyes glassy. “I feel queasy. And, I don’t know—it sounds stupid—but I feel…” He hesitates, unsure.

“Say it,” Eddie encourages, leaning closer. His gaze is open, the way he looks at him is always so kind. “Whatever it is, it’s okay”

“I feel violated,” Buck whispers, the words heavy and raw. “I know it’s stupid—I mean, I gave my donation to the clinic. I knew what I was doing. But it wasn’t for anyone else. And now…” He trails off, voice shaky. “Now I feel gross.”

Eddie doesn’t hesitate. His thumb brushes gently across Buck’s cheek, his forehead pressing against Buck’s. His voice is steady and grounding. “That’s not stupid. Not even close. What you’re feeling is valid. A bad thing has been done to you and you’re allowed to feel whatever you feel.” His gaze is intense, like he’s willing Buck to believe him, to absorb it into his bones. “You hear me? Always valid, Evan.”

Buck exhales sharply. “Oh God, you’re pulling out the Evan,” he groans, closing his eyes.

Eddie grins faintly. “It’s been a while since I pulled it out, felt like the right time to exercise my rights.”

When Buck opens his eyes, Eddie’s looking at him with so much warmth it almost hurts.

“We’re okay, right?” Buck asks, voice barely above a whisper.

Eddie snorts. “Of course we are.” His hand strokes Buck’s cheek in slow, soothing motions.

“We’ve only been together a couple of weeks Eddie-”

“Evan Buckley, I’ve been your biggest cheerleader for way longer than we’ve been dating,” Eddie interrupts firmly. “Give me some credit here”

Buck huffs a small laugh. “Still… this is so messy, Eddie.” He shakes his head slightly, but Eddie’s hand keeps him steady.

“I like messy. When it’s with you,” Eddie says simply, a soft smile curling at his lips.

Buck’s chest tightens. Eddie is an enigma, so full of self-doubt and sharp edges, yet somehow always steady when it comes to him. Always making him feel like the rarest most precious thing on earth, something Eddie has found and will fiercely protect.

“Does the cheerleader outfit come with a skirt?” Buck teases, a glimmer of humor returning to his voice.

Eddie grins, leaning back. “Oh yeah. And pom-poms.”

“Love to see it sometime.”

“Bet you would.” Eddie chuckles, leaning back in to press a feather light kiss to Buck’s lips.

“I love you,” Buck says softly, the weight of it grounding them both.

“Love you too,” Eddie replies, tapping Buck’s cheek gently. “And you keep telling me how you’re feeling, yeah? This is a two way street, Buckley.” He gestures between them. “If I’m gonna share my stuff, you’ve gotta share yours. What’s the point of being together if you don’t let me help when you need it?”

“Not really good at relying on people,” Buck admits, voice barely audible.

“Well, you can have a hundred kids running around out there with your DNA and I’m still not going anywhere,” Eddie says firmly. “Lean on me, Buck. I’ve got you.”

Buck and Eddie sit across from the lawyer, the weight of the conversation pressing down on them like a thick fog. The office is quiet except for the occasional rustle of papers, the strange nature of the situation hanging heavy in the air. 

The lawyer, Elaine Bushwell, is a calm and composed woman in her 40s, she has kind eyes, Buck notes, and fantastic fashion sense. She clears her throat and adjusted her long hair as she addressed them.

“Let me start by saying this is… a very unusual situation,” she says carefully, her professional demeanor straining to hide her own disbelief. “But rest assured, we’ll figure out exactly what happened here.”

Buck leaned forward, his hands clasped together tightly. “I thought I knew what happened with that sample. It was supposed to be for a friend, an entirely private and controlled thing. And now it might’ve been used without my knowledge with someone else? That there could be… babies out there? My babies?”

Elaine nods, her expression sympathetic. “From what the fertility clinic has disclosed so far, there appears to have been a mix up in their records. We don’t know how many cases are affected yet, but there’s a pretty high chance your donation could have been used in a different circumstance. It will be investigated thoroughly.”

Eddie sat back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his face. “This is insane,” he muttered. “Like, how does something like this even happen? A mix up with something this personal? This important?”

She sighs, placing her hands on the desk. “Unfortunately, errors like this, while rare, can happen in clinics where proper safeguards aren’t in place. This is, however, a very serious breach. The clinic has launched its own investigation, but it may take weeks, or even months, to get the full picture.”

Buck let out a sharp breath, running a hand through his hair. “This is so messed up,” he says, his voice tinged with equal parts frustration and disbelief. “I thought I was doing something good, helping my friends start their family. I never imagined it could turn into… this.”

Eddie reached over and placed a hand on Buck’s, his touch grounding. “We’ll figure this out,” he said firmly. “It’s not your fault. But we need to know what we’re dealing with here.”

Elaine nods,“Absolutely. My focus is on protecting your rights Mr Buckley and making sure we get the facts. For now, though, we can’t rule out the possibility that there are children out there who are biologically yours and potentially tied to you legally.”

The room falls silent for a moment, the weight of her words settling over them. Buck exhaled slowly, his gaze drifting toward the floor. “This is just- I can’t believe this is happening ,” he says softly, his voice tinged with sadness.

Eddie squeezed his hand. “Hey, I know it’s messy beyond belief and it’s a lot right now. But whatever happens, we’ll handle it together okay?”

Buck looked at him, a small flicker of gratitude breaking through his worry. “Okay,” he croaks.

Elaine leans forward against her desk, her tone serious but reassuring. “It’s going to take time, but you’re not alone in this. We’ll get answers.”

As they left the office, the insanity of the situation hit them all over again, but Eddie’s steady presence beside him made Buck feel like, somehow, they’d find a way through it.

Three months

That’s how long it takes for Buck to learn the full truth: he’s the biological father of ten children.

Ten.

His sample, meant for one close friend, had been used ten separate times without his knowledge. Ten lives that had no intention of ever being linked to him.

He barely hears the details through the ringing in his ears. 

There had been ten inseminations, all but one successful. The rest, eight single births and one set of twins, were alive. Elaine’s voice softening as she reads the facts aloud, but the words didn’t quite land.

It isn’t until Eddie is holding him later that the tears come, unstoppable and gut wrenching. Buck buries his face in Eddie’s chest, clutching at his shirt like a lifeline. Eddie’s strong arms encircle him, his fingers threading gently through Buck’s hair, grounding him. The steady rhythm of Eddie’s heartbeat anchors him as whispered reassurances fill the space between his sobs.

Six months 

The following months are consumed by hearings, lawsuits, and an endless barrage of paperwork. The fertility clinic is sued by nearly everyone involved: Buck, the recipients, even Connor and Kameron.

Malpractice, lack of safeguards, emotional distress, the list of claims feels as long as Buck’s anguish.

Nine months

Buck sits on the couch, he moved in with Eddie and Chris a couple months back, staring at a stack of files spread across the coffee table. They represent his children, ten lives, reduced to cold facts and sterile documentation.

Baby Boy A, 30 months

Baby Girl A, 29 months 

Baby Boy B, 28 months

Baby Girl B, 28 months

Baby Boy C, 25 months 

Baby Boy D, 20 months 

Baby Boy E, 20 months

Baby Boy F, 18 months

Baby Girl C, 14 months

Baby Girl D, 11 months

Their ages range from 11 months to two and a half years old. Ten children with names, personalities and futures, yet all he knows are these fragments of data.

He decides to offer to relinquish his parental rights, hoping it’s the right thing to do. All the recipients but one, kind and gracious for the most part, agree within a week. A few go through their lawyers but most reach out to his lawyer personally to learn more about their child’s biological parent.   

Buck writes letters to each child, pouring his heart into every word. His reasoning for giving up his rights and a hope that they live happy fulfilled lives. He leaves the decision up to each child’s legal parents to decide if they want to give it to the children or not when they are older.

He writes letters to each parent too, an apology and everything he can think of to soften the blow that he is their child’s father and not who they had wanted. He starts with the basics, his name, age, occupation, medical history, but it feels too impersonal. He adds his favorite books, songs and foods, pieces of his personality that he hopes will bridge the gap. He includes photos, one of himself as a child, one as an adult. He even asks his friends to write letters about him, hoping to give these parents and children some sense of who he is.

Many of the families offer to meet with Buck, their messages kind and their words full of gratitude. But Buck declines every invitation.

“I can’t do it, Eddie,” he whispers one evening, his voice trembling as he fights to keep the tears at bay. His hands are shaking, his heart pounding so hard it feels like it might break free from his chest.

Eddie steps closer, wrapping Buck in his arms without hesitation. “Okay, okay… that’s fine,” he murmurs, his voice steady. “It’s your choice, baby. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

Buck lets out a broken sob and rests his head against the curve of Eddie’s neck, his body folding into him like he’s trying to disappear. Eddie strokes his back in slow, soothing circles, whispering soft reassurances that Buck isn’t sure he deserves.

Because he can’t. He just can’t meet them. He closes his eyes and thinks about delivering Harvey, the raw mix of joy and pain that had swallowed him whole that day. He remembers looking into his tiny face and seeing flickers of something that wasn’t even there, all those feeling had been pointless, a child he’d never had any connection with. Still, it had almost destroyed him.

To do that ten times over? To look into the faces of ten children and wonder what could’ve been, wonder what parts of himself they carried, what pieces of him they might someday resent? That wasn’t just pain. That was a kind of self inflicted cruelty that even Buck didn’t have the strength for.

“I wish I could be stronger,” Buck chokes out, his voice muffled against Eddie’s shoulder.

Eddie pulls him tighter, his hand stroking his  hair the way he likes, reassuring and soft. “You are so strong,” he says, his voice like his hands hold that same firm gentleness. “You’ve been through hell and you’re still standing. That’s strength, Buck.”

Buck shakes his head, silent tears spilling down his cheeks. He doesn’t feel strong. He feels hollow, like a man stretched too thin, a thread ready to snap. 

He can’t do this. Not now.

Maybe not ever.

Eddie doesn’t push. He doesn’t offer advice or try to fix it, knowing that some wounds can’t be patched up so easily. He just holds Buck, his arms a shelter against the storm and lets him cry until there’s nothing left.

Twelve months 

The lawsuits are settled, payouts are distributed, and the fertility clinic files for bankruptcy. It feels hollow, like a loose thread tied off without resolution. 

Buck wanted something more. 

He got an apology and money, but that’s not enough. 

All those years ago, when Buck had stupidly filed a lawsuit against the LAFD, he’d turned down millions when he won. It wasn’t about the money, never had been. All he’d wanted was to get back to work, to reclaim the sense of purpose that had been ripped away from him. And he’d got it. He won, for the most part. 

This time, there’s no victory to be had.

The settlement check is large enough to make most people’s jaws drop, but when Buck stares at the numbers printed on it, all he feels is emptiness. He doesn’t want the money. It’s meaningless. What he wants is something no one can give him, for this to have never happened at all.

He wants the clinic to erase the pain of the past year, to somehow undo the ache that has carved itself into his chest and refuses to leave. He wants to stop waking up every morning feeling like he’s missing pieces of himself scattered across ten tiny lives he’ll never truly know.

Money doesn’t fix a damn thing. It doesn’t silence the what ifs or soothe the hollow ache of loss. It doesn’t make the nightmares go away, the ones where he sees their faces but wakes up unable to remember them. He doesn’t need more zeroes in his bank account. He needs peace.

But peace feels as unattainable as time travel and Buck’s left holding a check that’s worth everything and nothing all at once.

Thirteen months

Elaine, sits across from him in her office, her expression careful. “Baby Girl C,” she begins, sliding a file toward him.

Buck furrows his brow. “What about her?”

Elaine hesitates, choosing her words. “The mother hadn’t responded to any of the calls or letters we sent out and we’ve been having a hard time tracking her down. We now know why. She passed away eighteen months ago.” Buck sucks in a breath, eyes snapping up from the file to look at Elaine, “The little girl is currently living with the mother’s brother and his wife. The mother passed during childbirth and there wasn’t a will. The family took her in, but… they’ve reached out to ask if you want custody.”

Buck stares at her, his mind struggling to process. “Why? Why don’t they want to keep her?”

Elaine exhales softly, her gaze sympathetic. “They have four children already and from what I’ve gathered, they never planned to have anymore, let alone take one in. They’re willing to keep her if you decline, but…” She shrugs awkwardly. “It doesn’t sound like they want her.”

The words hit him like a punch to the gut, hard and winding. He takes in a staggered breath.

A little girl, a toddler, unwanted. 

Buck knows that feeling all too well, the ache of not being truly wanted, of being tolerated rather than cherished. He didn’t know that unlovable was something that could be inherited.  

His head falls into his hands as he lets out a heavy sigh. “She’s 18 months old” he murmurs. He remembers Jee-Yun at that age, toddling around everywhere, babbling away with new words every week, forming her own little personality.

This girl, his daughter, is at that same stage. 

And, no one wants her.

Elaine moves closer, her voice softer now. “Buck, I know this is a lot to take in. You don’t have to decide today. Take some time, talk to Eddie. But…” She squeezes his hand gently. “Maybe this is the silver lining you’ve been looking for.”

Buck doesn’t answer, his mind a whirlwind of emotions. His heart aches for the little girl who has no place to truly call home.

Maybe, they could be that place.

“What happened?” Eddie asks as he steps into the house, juggling his workout bag and a takeout box, the smell of left over pizza trailing after him.

Christopher follows close behind, pausing in the doorway to peer into the living room. He takes one look at Buck sprawled out on the yoga mat in a defeated cobra pose and snorts. “It’s never good when the yoga mat is out.”

Eddie laughs softly, setting his bag down by the door. “Should we just roll him up in it and call it a night?”

Buck glares at them, his head lifting just enough to shoot daggers at both father and son.

“He’s your boyfriend,” Christopher says with a grin. “I can just go to bed. Which I’m going to do,” He turns to Buck with a wave. “Night, Buck.” Then to Eddie, “Night, Dad.”

“Night, bud. Don’t forget to brush your teeth.”

Christopher rolls his eyes with a dramatic sigh. “Oh yes, because at fifteen I’ve completely forgotten how to get ready for bed.”

“Smartass,” Eddie mutters affectionately.

The house quiets as Christopher heads to his room, leaving Eddie to cross the living room and crouch in front of Buck. He pulls out a slice of pizza from the box and waves it in front of Buck’s face. “By the way, the movie was awful. You didn’t miss anything. But we would’ve preferred if you were there.”

Buck hesitates before leaning up to take a bite from the offered pizza and then lying his head back down on the floor, chewing slowly. “I needed time to think.”

“Think,” Eddie repeats knowingly, shifting to sit cross legged on the floor in front of him. His hand reaching out to stroke his hair, “Something happened with Elaine?”

Buck exhales heavily, moving to sit up, mirroring Eddie’s position. Eddie offers the pizza again and Buck leans forward for another bite, though his thoughts are clearly elsewhere.

What does she look like?

What does she like? What does she hate?

Is she allergic to naproxen, like me?

I hated bananas when I was little—maybe she does too.

“Baby girl C,” Buck murmurs, the words barely audible through his mouthful.

“What?” Eddie tilts his head, concern flickering across his face.

Buck pulls at the hem of his shirt, fidgeting as he tries to form the words. “Elaine finally heard back about baby girl C.”

Eddie drops the pizza in the box to give Buck his full attention. “And?” His voice softens, urging him on without pressure.

Buck’s gaze drops to his lap. “Her mom died… giving birth to her.” Eddie draws in a sharp breath, but Buck keeps going, the words spilling out like a confession. “She’s been living with her uncle and aunt, but when they found out about the lawsuit… and me… they asked if I want custody.”

“Oh, Buck,” Eddie says quietly, his hand reaching for Buck’s and tangling them together, its grounding.

Buck shakes his head, his voice cracking as tears spill over, rolling down his face. “And I know it’s stupid, but I—we’ve talked about it, just not like this. And they don’t want her, Eddie. They’re willing to keep her, but they don’t want her, and—” His voice breaks completely. “I know we said maybe one day—”

“So maybe one day is now,” Eddie says softly, his thumb brushing over Buck’s hand.

Buck rubs at his face angrily, tears falling faster now. “It’s stupid,” he whispers. “I’m stupid. This is so messed up, Eddie. You didn’t ask for any of this.”

“Buck,” Eddie says gently, waiting. But Buck doesn’t lift his head. Eddie sighs, scooting closer until he can tilt Buck’s chin up with steady fingers. Their eyes meet and Eddie’s voice is firm but kind, “I love you, but you are such a stupid man sometimes.”

“I—”

“She’s your daughter, Buck.”

“They’re all my daughters and sons,” Buck says, his voice strained. “We’ve more than established that doesn’t mean anything.”

“No,” Eddie counters, his voice steady. “We’ve established that nine of them have parents who love them. But this one? Baby girl C—” he smirks briefly, “which is a terrible name, by the way. She’s still very much your daughter.”

Buck’s breath catches, his chest tightening as hope, fragile and tentative, blooms inside him.

“And not to be too sappy,” Eddie continues, his hand resting on Buck’s shoulder, thumb tracing soothing circles against his collarbone, “but we’ve done a pretty damn good job raising Christopher together, even when we weren’t together. We might just be dynamite raising one more, now that we are.” He grins, his eyes glistening with emotion. “Also, I’m so completely, stupidly in love with you, that the idea of a mini-you hurricaneing through life with us sort of makes me want to cry.”

Buck lets out a watery laugh, tears streaming down his cheeks like a choppy waterfall. “Don’t cry,” he chokes out. “I’m already crying. We can’t both cry.”

Eddie laughs too, wrapping his arms around Buck and pulling him close. They sit together on the floor, Buck’s back pressed against Eddie’s chest, Eddie holding him like he can shield him from the weight of the world. His lips brush lightly against his neck, leaving soothing kisses, his voice a gentle murmur of sweet reassurances.

“It’s going to be okay,” Eddie whispers, his breath warm against Buck’s ear. “You can do this. We can do this.”

Buck lets out a shaky breath, his hands clutching at Eddie’s arms, grounding himself in the warmth and certainty of Eddie. They’ve weathered so much together, nearly a decade of friendship and over a year of love. And now this.

“She deserves better than this,” Buck says quietly, his voice tinged with doubt. “Better than me.”

“No,” Eddie counters firmly, his hand moving to rest over Buck’s heart. “She deserves you. She deserves a home filled with love, with two people who will adore her, even if we haven’t learned her name yet.”

That earns a soft laugh from him, the sound trembling but he feels it, the lightness filling him up with Eddie’s silly jokes.

“She can be the sunshine in all of this, Buck,” Eddie continues, his voice steady and so full of conviction. “She can be our silver lining. We’ve got each other. We’ve got Chris. And now… maybe we’ve got her too.”

Buck closes his eyes, letting the words sink in, letting Eddie’s unwavering belief in him settle the storm in his mind. He doesn’t know how to do this, not yet, but with Eddie by his side, he knows they’ll figure it out. Together.

They settle in a calm silence, the sounds of there breaths mingling soothe him further, till he begins to feel boneless in Eddie’s arms. 

“Hey, Buck?” Eddie murmurs in his ear.

“Yeah?” Buck tilts his head to look at him, his face still damp with tears.

“Cover your ears,” Eddie says with a mischievous smile and before Buck can protest, he shouts, “CHRISTOPHER! Come here a second, kiddo!”

A beat later, the sound of crutches clattering down the hallway echoes and Christopher appears in the doorway, his curls wild and his face confused. “What’s up?”

“What do you think about having a sibling?” Eddie asks, his tone casual but his eyes glinting with something deeper.

Christopher’s brow furrows for a moment before his eyes widen. “Oh my god, Buck, are you pregnant?”

Chapter Text

So, she has a stupid name. 

Grey. 

Okay, so maybe not stupid exactly… but it’s definitely something. Odd maybe. 

Or maybe it’s just that it’s not what they expecting.

She’s just a baby, still in diapers and someone decided to call her Grey.

Like a raincloud, heavy and ready to pour.

Eddie frowns as they look over the file. “Can we change her name?” he whispers.

“Grey Rose Iris Moss,” Buck reads, his voice low, almost awed, as if saying it out loud might unlock something about her, this little person they haven’t even met yet. Then, almost to himself, barely audible, “Her initials spell Grim.”

Eddie’s eyes widen. “Oh, God, they do. Grey and then… just a bunch of flowers and foliage?” His voice is tight, almost worried, like the idea of her name has already taken root somewhere deep in his chest.

Buck hesitates. “Would it be rude to change it?”

Eddie shakes his head firmly. “Our daughter is not going to be called Grim, Buck. What the fuck? Who thought this was a good idea?”

Our daughter.

The words hit Buck like a wave, powerful and all consuming. His chest aches with the fullness of it, the wonder and the impossibility of this, of Eddie saying it so naturally, like they’ve always been a family. Like this moment was inevitable. The words are too good, too big and he never wants to wake up from this dream. 

He leans closer without thinking, resting his hand on Eddie’s cheek and brushing his lips against his. Eddie exhales sharply but doesn’t pull away. Instead, he deepens the kiss, his hand pulling Buck closer, kissing him back with an urgency that sends Buck’s heart racing.

When they part, Buck keeps his eyes closed for a moment, his lips still brushing Eddie’s. The faint prickle of stubble against his skin makes him smile. “I can’t believe we’re doing this,” he whispers.

“Raising a Grey,” Eddie mutters with a grimace. “Neither can I.”

“Shut up,” Buck laughs softly, pressing another kiss to Eddie’s lips. “You know what I mean. Raising a baby together.”

His stomach flutters, excitement bubbling like champagne. This is real, they’re building a family together.  

Eddie snorts, shifting so they’re lying together on the couch, Buck’s shoulder a perfect pillow. The file gets lost somewhere between the cushions as Eddie leans in, pressing kisses to Buck’s cheek, then down to his ear. “I want everything with you,” he murmurs, his grin warm against Buck’s skin. “Our family.”

“Yeah,” Buck breathes, the word carrying the weight of everything he’s too overwhelmed to say.

Eddie’s hand finds his chest, drawing lazy shapes, slowly moving to words, a swooping G- R-E-Y as he adds, “You, me, Chris, and… Grey.”

“Awful,” Buck groans.

“She won’t be Grim anyway,” Eddie points out with a smirk. “You’re making her a Buckley, right?”

They’re not married. Not yet. But Buck’s been thinking about that, thinking about fixing it. Maybe it’s crazy to suggest something else. Buckley-Diaz. Or just Diaz. He’s not attached to his last name except for the connection to Maddie, but he can imagine them sharing just one. 

The Diazes. 

He’s getting ahead of himself, sure, they haven’t even met baby Grim yet, but the thought of it fills him with a quiet kind of joy, the kind that makes his heart flutter and stomach swoop.

“Grib,” he says suddenly, the word breaking the quiet.

Eddie snorts. “That’s not even a word.”

“Still better than Grim.”

“Barely.” he laughs, “We’ll ask about changing it.”

“Grey Rose Iris Moss Birch Oak Bluebell Peony Poppy Lemon—”

“You’re just naming plants now.”

“Her mom passed before she could name her, right? So, the uncle and aunt must’ve done it,” Buck muses.

Eddie groans, his head dropping to Buck’s shoulder. “I’m sure they’re going to be fun to deal with.”

Buck laughs again, his hand finding Eddie’s and holding it tightly. Buck laughs, His heart light despite the absurdity of it all. It’s ridiculous, yes, but it’s theirs.

A family, messy and wonderful and new.

The Mosses were, without question, certifiably insane.

Pete and Heaven Moss, self proclaimed ‘guardians of universal harmony,’ lived in a state of chaos that could only be described as curated madness. Their four sons, Tiger, Moon, Raynbow, and Flick, were an explosion of unchecked energy and dubious parenting decisions.

Buck tries to pinpoint which child he feels most sorry for, but it's like spinning a roulette wheel of misfortune. Probably Raynbow, though if he had to decide.

Raynbow was the one who opened the door for them, a cherubic seven year old wearing nothing but underpants and one muddy green wellington boot. His long, shock white hair was wild, his face streaked with dirt and his grin so wide it revealed more gaps than teeth.

"You're here!" he screeched, his voice full of unhinged delight. "I'm Bow. Mama says you're the dolphins!"

Before either Buck or Eddie could ask what in the ever loving hell that meant, Raynbow screamed, "MOM! THEY'RE HERE!" and shot off like a feral cat, disappearing somewhere into the jungle of their house.

Speaking of their house...

It was a fever dream brought to life. The walls were painted in every colour imaginable, vines of houseplants crawled along the ceilings, and the air smelled faintly of incense, citrus and something suspiciously herbal. Art covered every surface, paintings, sculptures. It was messy, but intentionally so. Clean in a way that almost tricked you into believing the chaos was under control.

"Well," Buck mutters to Eddie, "this is off to a good start."

And then she appeared.

Heaven Moss moved like she was floating, a kaleidoscope of flowing fabrics and jangling bracelets. Her long, sun bleached hair hung in loose waves and her eyes sparkled with what could only be described as unchecked spiritual fervor.

"You must be Buck and Eddie," she purred, her voice a melodic hum that vibrated in the air.

"That's us. I'm Buck." He extended a hand, only for Heaven to clasp it dramatically, press it to her chest and bow her head.

She began muttering under her breath, a string of words Buck couldn't quite catch, though he was sure he heard something about ‘celestial energy’. He raised an eyebrow at Eddie, who was very obviously fighting not to laugh.

"Help," Buck mouthed.

Eddie, the traitor, turned toward a painting on the wall, his shoulders shaking with silent amusement. Buck followed his gaze and looked at the art.

The painting. The painting was... it reminded him of something.

"You like it?" Heaven asked, materializing beside Eddie and placing a hand on his neck, stroking it like he was a particularly anxious cat.

"It's... unique," Eddie managed, stiff as a board.

"It's my vagina," Heaven said, as casually as if she were commenting on the weather.

I beg your pardon.

Buck did a double take. Yep, now that she said it, he could see it.

"Excuse me?" Eddie squeaked, his ears turning red.

"My husband," Heaven continued dreamily, "he's such an artist. Big and sexy, like your man. You’ll love him," She winked at Buck, who had to stifle a laugh as Eddie visibly recoiled. "He painted it for me. Mixed the paint with his own fluids, blood, spit, semen..."

"Okay!" Buck interrupted, clapping his hands together. "Wow. Art. Love that for you."

Heaven sighed, seemingly oblivious to Eddie's horrified expression. "It's so visceral, isn't it? He used his body to create my body. Beautiful, don't you think?"

Before Buck or Eddie could even attempt a response, a small blur of white blond hair barrelled into the room.

"Mama!"

This one, Flick, apparently, was maybe four years old, wearing only underpants as well and a necklace made of amber beads. His chest was covered in stickers, as if someone had tried to create armor out of Lisa Frank leftovers.

"Flick, baby, say hello to Eddie and Buck," Heaven cooed, scooping him up.

And then, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, she whipped out a boob.

Eddie turned away so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet. Buck, meanwhile, couldn't look away as Flick latched on like a baby leech, giving them a distracted wave with one chubby hand.

"He's always hungry," Heaven said with a laugh. "Poor Grey Iris hardly gets a look in these days."

Grey Iris. Their daughter. Their daughter, who this woman had been breastfeeding.

Buck felt his brain short circuit. Breastfeeding was great. Beneficial, even. But... wasn’t Heaven high? She had to be high.

"Come," Heaven said, floating toward the kitchen like some sort of ethereal earth goddess.

Eddie grabbed Buck's arm, stopping him.

"Don't you dare let that woman touch me again."

Buck snorted. "She's a free spirit."

"I'm not joking," Eddie hissed. "Hold my hand."

"What? Why?"

"Because if you're holding my hand, she can't do that weird chest... prayer thing she did to you."

"You have two hands, babe."

"Hold both."

"If we want to look weird-"

"Look around, Buck," Eddie said, deadpan. "You think we can look weird here?"

Fair point.

“She just breast fed her fully grown adult son in front of us, he has a car and a mortgage, Buck” 

Buck loses it, laughing so hard he has to hide his head in Eddie’s shoulder. It’s an obvious over exaggeration of course, Flick is a big boy sure, but he’s still a little kid. It’s not even the joke that gets him, it’s the look of horror on Eddie’s face.  

They followed Heaven into the kitchen once he’s calmed his breathing, where the insanity only escalated. The room is bathed in natural light, thanks to a massive skylight. Every surface painted or tiled in a different colour and more plants spilled from hanging baskets and shelves. It looked like a botanist had exploded.

"There you are!" Heaven chirped. “I thought you’d gotten lost in the vortex of creativity.”

Buck manages not to laugh again, barely. “Just admiring all the art. Your house is… colourful.”

“Yes,” Heaven purrs, spinning on her toes, arms wide like she’s conducting an orchestra no one else can hear. “Colour feeds the soul. You know, Picasso once told me in a dream that my aura is the purest form of fuchsia.”

Eddie blinks. “Picasso?”

“In a dream, darling.” She laughs like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, then leans in close, her eyes narrowing as though peering into their very souls. “Tea?” she asks, voice low and conspiratorial. “It’s my own blend. Hand harvested lavender, moon charged rose petals and a sprinkle of Himalayan pink salt blessed under the full moon. Very cleansing.”

Absolutely fucking not. 

“Water’s fine, thanks.”

“And you, Tawny?” she asks, her head tilting as she sizes up Eddie like he’s some kind of mystical artifact she’s just discovered.

“Tawny?” Eddie repeats, his brow furrowing.

“Yes,” she says, shifting Flick on her hip. “Your aura it tells me you’re a Tawny Owl, reserved, watchful, a bit of a puritan. But that’s nothing to be ashamed of, sweet boy.” She steps closer, her eyes glittering. “It’s also those big, soulful eyes. So beautiful. You must be a fantastic lover.”

Eddie freezes. His hand tightens against Buck’s in what is either a plea for help or a silent cry of rage.

Buck grins. “Oh, yeah. The best.”

Eddie shoots him a look that promises revenge. “I’ll have water too,” he says curtly.

“Of course,” Heaven says, finally setting Flick down. “Go find adventure, baby.” Flick takes off like a shot, bare feet slapping against the floor.

Buck looks around the kitchen again, it’s wild. Almost eye wateringly colourful, he feels like he’s high.

“So, uh… where’s Grey?” he asks.

Heaven claps her hands together, her bangles jingling like wind chimes. “Resting, dear. Our sweet, doleful girl.”

Eddie frowns. “Doleful?”

“Yes,” Heaven says, her voice dripping with melodrama. “The energy surrounding her birth was… somber. Joyless. She carries that sadness with her still.” She shakes her head, the dozens of necklaces around her neck swaying with the motion. “Poor, sweet Grey. She has such an ancient melancholy inside her.”

Buck stares at her, horrified. “She’s 18 months old.” Not some sad baby poet, brooding about  lost love and no hope. 

“How can a baby be sad?” Eddie demands, his voice tight with irritation. “She lives in a house full of art and colour and… whatever this is.” He gestures vaguely at the chaos surrounding them.

“We try,” Heaven says, pressing a hand to her chest as if the effort of their parenting weighs on her deeply. “We do everything we can to pass our light to her, but she’s a sloth you see. A solitary animal. She carries a loneliness we can’t touch.”

She looks genuinely heartbroken, which might be touching if she weren’t talking about a literal toddler.

She frowns and sighs, it doesn’t look right on her sunny face, “I consulted my cards and I spoke with the universe and both Peter and I… we believe that you, you are the reason”

“She’s a baby,” Eddie snaps, his tone edging toward anger. “She doesn’t even know us.”

“Exactly,” Heaven says, sweeping forward, her hands cupping Eddie’s face before he can pull away. “She knows she doesn’t belong here. She knows she’s meant to be with you.” She turns to Buck, one hand leaving Eddie’s face to stroke Buck’s cheek instead. “Emma would have wanted it this way. She would have wanted Grey to be with the other half of her.”

Buck freezes as she leans closer, her voice dropping to a hushed whisper. “You’re a dolphin, free, joyful, boundless. Your energy and his—” She gestures to Eddie with a flick of her wrist. “—are exactly what Grey needs to fight past the shadows surrounding her soul.”

Without warning, she presses all three of their faces together, her skin warm and faintly sticky.

“Oh my God,” Eddie whispers, his tone a mix of horror and disbelief.

Buck can feel Eddie’s hand trembling in his, either from rage or the effort it’s taking not to scream.

Before either of them can escape, a deep, booming voice calls out from the doorway.

“My goddess.”

They both look up to see a large man in all-white, flowy linen clothes smeared with paint, holding a small girl in his arms. The toddler, is clearly their daughter, her eyes dark and wide, curious as she looks at them.

She is adorable.

“Darling!” Heaven cries, rushing toward him. The man, who Buck assumes is Pete, smiles serenely as they meet in the middle of the room. And then they make out. Aggressively. With Grey still perched between them, smooshed like a human buffer.

Eddie yanks on Buck’s hand, pulling him closer. "This," he whispered to Buck, his voice low and deadly, "is a fucking rescue mission."

Buck couldn't agree more. They needed to get their daughter and run.

“Come, darling, meet the boys!” Heaven trills, yanking Pete along behind her like a kite caught in her whirlwind of chaotic energy.

Pete is older, probably in his late fifties, with greying blondeish hair that looks like it’s been styled by a stiff breeze and a smile so wide it might actually hurt to hold. His flowy, paint splattered shirt is completely unbuttoned to reveal a suspiciously shiny crystal dangling on a leather cord and a pretty good body for a man almost reaching retirement age. 

“You’ve both visited me before,” Pete announces, his voice deep and reverent like he’s about to start a TED Talk on celestial vibes. 

“Have we?” Eddie asks as they stand to greet him and Grey. 

"A beautiful dream where your souls intertwined with mine," Pete continues, eyes glistening with intensity. "We connected. I thrust upon you, took you deeply, and together we birthed joy and pure unfiltered energy."

Does he mean he dreamed he fucked us? Buck wonders, blinking rapidly.

Eddie, standing stiffly next to him, mutters under his breath, “Please tell me he’s not talking about sex.”

“I think he is,” Buck whispers back, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

These people are insane. Truly, deeply, gloriously insane. Buck has met his fair share of eccentric folks, he’s basically a magnet for them, but Heaven and Pete? They’ve transcended eccentricity and reached some new, uncharted plane of absurdity.

And honestly? Buck loves, love and he’s almost glad Heaven found someone as unhinged as her. It’s like watching two circus performers find their perfect trapeze partner. They’re terrible for anyone else but somehow perfectly ridiculous together.

Eddie leans toward him, his voice dry. “I swear, if he starts chanting or talking about tantric energy, we’re running. No questions. Just run.”

Buck nods solemnly. “Agreed. If they light incense, we’re out.”

Pete beams at them, clearly oblivious to their whispered plotting. “It’s so wonderful to meet you in the waking world. The universe has been calling us together for this moment.”

Buck side eyes Eddie, who looks like he’s silently counting to ten to avoid snapping.

“I think it’s calling me to throw up,” Eddie mutters.

“And this,” Heaven says with a soft smile, pulling Grey closer into her arms, “is Grey. Grey, starlight, this is your daddy and his lover.”

Jesus Christ.

“Partner would be preferred,” Eddie corrects through gritted teeth, his tone clipped but composed.

“Sure,” Heaven replies breezily, turning to Pete. “This one’s prudish,” she remarks, nodding toward Eddie like she’s sharing an inside joke.

“Ah, but his aura says otherwise,” Pete observes, his tone light but strangely knowing.

“I thought the same,” Heaven says, turning back to Buck and Eddie.

“Quiet on the streets,” Pete muses, gesturing subtly at Eddie.

Buck is sure he can see a vein pulsing in Eddie’s neck, but before either of them can say anything, Heaven shifts her attention back to Grey. “Would you like to hold her?”

Buck’s breath catches as he looks at the tiny figure nestled in Heaven’s arms. She’s so small. The first thing he notices is her mess of soft,  blond curls, a stark contrast to the deep brown eyes that glimmer with a sadness so tangible it makes his chest tighten. Maybe Heaven was right because she does look sad, for a baby anyway. She’s wearing a leopard print vest, God, Eddie’s going to hate that, he despises animal print, and a pacifier hangs loosely from her mouth, only amplifying the soulful weight of her gaze.

Her eyes, Buck realises, almost look like Maddie’s eyes, a familiarity that he knows.  

“Yes,” he whispers, his voice barely audible.

When Heaven gently places Grey in his arms, it’s like the world stills. She’s impossibly tiny, her small hands clutching at his shirt as she tilts her head slightly to the side, studying him with the wide eyed curiosity of someone taking in the whole universe for the first time.

“The connection is happening,” Heaven murmurs to Pete, her voice reverent.

Grey leans forward then, resting her head on Buck’s chest and lets out a long, soft sigh, as if she’s finally found peace. Buck feels a pang of understanding, he can imagine she’s as fed up with her aunt and uncle as they are with all their cosmic bullshit.

Gently, he reaches around to stroke her back, his movements instinctive and tender. He glances up at Eddie, who is watching them with a mix of awe and emotion. Eddie’s own big brown eyes are glassy, his lip caught between his teeth like he’s trying to hold something back. But then, he gives up, stepping closer.

Eddie places his hand over Buck’s, letting it linger there before moving to smooth down Grey’s curls. “Hi, Grey,” he whispers softly.

Grey tenses at the sound of his voice, her little head lifting to look at him. Then, as if deciding he’s passed some invisible test, she pulls her pacifier from her mouth and holds it out to Eddie.

Eddie lets out a wet laugh, his voice breaking as he takes it from her. “Thank you,” he says, his tone thick with emotion.

“Tank oh,” Grey repeats, her tiny voice high and wobbly as she mimics him, a shy smile spreading across her face.

It’s small, but it’s there and it’s enough to break the tension completely. Buck’s lips quirk upward as he shifts her slightly in his arms and tickles her sides.

Grey startles at first, her eyes going wide, but then she beams, a bubbly giggle spilling out of her as Buck’s fingers continue their gentle assault.

“Perfect,” Heaven whispers, her voice full of quiet satisfaction.

“We knew it,” Pete agrees, his tone filled with an almost mystical certainty.

Buck barely hears them. All he can focus on is the warmth in his arms, Eddie’s hand still brushing softly against Grey’s hair and the sound of her laughter filling the space between them.

They settle on the patio, sinking into painted rainbow coloured comfortable chairs that overlook the backyard. It’s a peaceful scene, bright flowers nodding in the breeze, a shimmering pool and a vegetable patch nearby that looks like something out of a Pinterest dream. In the corner of the yard sits a gazebo, a little oasis tucked away among the greenery.

Heaven is practically bouncing in her seat beside them, a huge smile on her face, when asked what it’s for, “That’s where we do the sound baths”

Eddie squints at her. “Sound bath?” His voice is flat, like he’s not sure if he’s being pranked. “What, like, you just sit in there and pour water over yourself while playing whale noises?”

Heaven’s grin only widens, oblivious to Eddie’s sarcasm. She flings her arms out, almost knocking over a decorative plant and starts explaining like she’s introducing him to the secret of the universe. “Oh, no, no! It’s much more than that. We use all kinds of instruments, like crystal bowls and gongs, to create vibrations. The sound literally bathes your body, like a shower for your soul. It clears all the bad energy! It’s soooo rejuvenating!”

Eddie just blinks at her. “A shower… for your soul?”

Heaven nods enthusiastically, still not picking up on Eddie’s deadpan expression. “Exactly! You lay down, close your eyes and just let the sound wash over you.”

Buck can’t help but snicker quietly, but Eddie’s face hasn’t budged an inch. “Right,” he says, leaning back in his chair like he’s just been told that aliens are real and they’ll be landing soon to take him on a tour of the galaxy.

Heaven, still bouncing, seems completely unaware of Eddie’s growing exhaustion. “I can show you!l You should try it, Tawny. You’ll love it,” She beams at Eddie. 

Eddie’s head falls back in resignation. “I’m good, thanks,” he mutters, looking at Buck with a look that says, Why am I here? It’s the kind of look that’s half exhaustion, half hopelessness.

Heaven, completely undeterred, nods. “No problem, we’re family now. You can always join later, whenever you’re ready for your soul bath!” She practically purrs the last part, still totally unaware of Eddie’s mental eye roll.

Buck tries not to laugh out loud as Eddie glares at him, his face an open book of done. “Yeah, Eddie,” Buck says, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “you don’t want to miss out on the soul cleanse.”

Eddie shoots him a glare. “I’m good, thanks.” He mutters, “maybe you should have a go” 

“I would but I’ve tried it before, I have trouble sitting still” Buck says Heaven who nods. “Just made me more stressed”

“It’s okay darling, just try to get this one too have ago. He’s so tense.” Heaven leans over and pats Eddie’s shoulder with a squeeze.

Buck watches as the kids explore the garden, their little blonde heads popping up every now and then from behind the thick greenery. The sun casts a warm glow over them, but it doesn’t seem to reach all the way into the quiet corner where they sits. Grey, small and fragile in Pete’s arms, plays idly with the buttons on his shirt, her tiny fingers fumbling and twisting them in ways that speak of a deep, quiet thought. Too much for a child not even two years old to be lost in.  

“So, I guess we have some questions,” Buck starts, his voice breaking the comfortable silence.

Pete looks over at him, a small nod of acknowledgment. “Of course.”

Buck shifts, gathering his thoughts before diving into something that’s been on his mind since they arrived. “First… why Grey? Or, really, why her full name?”

Heaven’s eyes brighten at the question, her smile wide and unbothered. “Her aura,” she says matter of factly, her voice full of certainty. “She just felt so… grey.”

Buck’s stomach sinks at the answer. It doesn’t sit right with him at all. He opens his mouth to speak, but Eddie beats him to it, snapping, “And did Tiger feel like a tiger?”

Heaven glances at Eddie, not fully understanding the sharpness of his tone. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Eddie spits out, a little more harshly than he intends, “I just don’t understand why you would name a baby Grey because she ‘seemed grey’—when, clearly, she was brimming with, I don’t know, uncertainty.” He pauses, eyes narrowing slightly. “Her life at that point had been nothing but the trauma of her birth… you didn’t want to give her something to signify I don’t hope, love.”

Heaven’s smile falters for just a second, but she continues with that same gentle tone. “The name comes to you, Tawny. I can’t explain it, but I just know it’s her name. It feels right.”

Buck knows she isn’t trying to hurt anyone with her words, she’s not come across as malicious at all thus far.

But the way she says it, so sure, so knowing, makes it feel like something’s missing. He wants to say more, but he can’t find the words. It’s like a knot tightening in his chest.

“Did her mom not have a name picked?” Buck asks, his voice quieter now, though he’s not sure why.

Pete looks away for a moment, his face shadowed with something Buck can’t quite read. “She did. Rose Iris,” he says softly, like the name itself is sacred. “That’s why they’re her middle names.”

“Why not make that her first name if that’s what Emma wanted?” Eddie asks, his confusion genuine, though there’s something else in his voice, something that doesn’t quite sit right, like he’s asking more than just about a name.

Pete shrugs, a sad, resigned motion. “It just wasn’t her name.”

It feels like a dead end. Buck’s chest tightens as he looks from Pete to Heaven and then back to the kids, still laughing and playing in the distance. The air around them feels thick and Buck’s brain can’t help landing on one question.

“What happened to Emma?” he asks, his voice low, hesitant. “If it’s not too much…”

Pete lets out a slow breath, his eyes clouded with grief. “It’s okay,” he says softly. “My sister… she was a mix of grief and despair.”

Buck feels that answer in his bones. Like it’s more than just words, it’s the truth. It’s raw and painful. He wants to look away, but he can’t. He feels like he needs to know.

“She lost her son, Miles, he was the same age as Moon,” Pete continues, his voice thickening with sorrow. “It tore her and her husband, James, apart. And well, Emma… she knew the risks. Having Miles had been dangerous, but she wanted another child after she lost him, even without James. That’s why she used the clinic.”

The words land heavy and Buck’s breath catches, he feels Eddie take his hand and squeeze it gently. 

He thinks of all the loss, the pain and the hope that somehow still existed in Emma’s decisions.

“Why was it a risk?” he asks, his voice small.

Pete glances down at Grey in his arms, his eyes darkening. “Well, for one, she was older, ten years older then when she had Miles and like I said that had been a risky pregnancy. But she also had…” He swallows hard, the words clearly hard for him to say. “She had severe complications… her blood pressure was dangerously high and there were issues with the placenta. She bled out during the birth. We’re lucky Grey made it.”

The words hit Buck like a knife, sinking into his flesh and twisting to deepen the agony. He wants to say something, anything, but he’s struck dumb. All he can do is watch as Pete gently rocks Grey, his sister’s memory and the weight of her choices hanging in the air like a ghost that refuses to leave.

The sun starts to dip lower in the sky, but it feels colder now. The laughter of the children feels distant, like it’s happening in another world entirely. And as Buck looks at Grey, her small face so full of uncertainty, her fragile little hands still playing with the buttons on Pete’s shirt, he realises that there’s more to this story than anyone’s been willing to share. It’s more than just a name. More than just a tragedy.

And Buck wonders if he’ll ever understand any of it or if it will always be this way, forever just out of reach, like a secret no one is meant to know.

It takes months for Grey to live with them permanently. Even though Buck is her legal parent, there’s a process to follow. Meetings with a social worker go smoothly, but it’s less a question of if and more a matter of when.

The priority is ensuring the transition is as smooth as possible, for all of them, but especially for Grey. So, they take it slow.

It starts with a couple of hours. Then an afternoon. Then, a full day. Next, she stays overnight. By the time they’re on their fourth overnight stretch, it’s starting to feel natural, like this little girl has always been a part of their lives.

She’s a baby after all and pretty easy to settle. There are fussy moments, sure, but for the most part, Grey adjusts quickly. The way she toddles around the living room with her unsteady little steps, babbling incomprehensibly, already feels like home.

Christopher adores her. He’s fifteen, so of course a little moodier, a little more independent, but he has an abundance of patience for Grey that surprises them both. One evening, they catch him sitting cross legged on the floor at the coffee table, showing Grey how to play a toy xylophone like he’s auditioning for a band. She bops her knees in excitement, her little hands clapping wildly at the noise and Chris just laughs and starts up again.

“She’s got rhythm,” Buck teases, leaning against the doorframe.

“But apparently no ears,” Eddie deadpans, walking past with a basket of laundry.

It’s exhausting, but it’s good.

Grey sleeps in a toddler bed in the corner of their room for now, which they both know isn’t a long term solution. She needs her own space, and, honestly, so do they.

So, amidst the chaos of work, visits, and raising a teenager, they start house hunting. They want somewhere nice, a place where they can build the life they’ve been imagining.

Thanks to the settlement, they have the funds to buy something outright without dipping into the remainder they’ve carefully set aside for Christopher’s schooling, Grey’s future and maybe even a vacation someday when all this is over. Still, they want to be practical and set a budget and put the rest in investments after getting a financial advisor like real grown ups that aren’t living from paycheque to paycheque. 

It’s tiring, but they find their dream home faster than they expected. Four bedrooms, open-plan but still full of character. Christopher’s bedroom is on the ground floor, more accessible for him and with just enough privacy for a teenager. Big master bedroom with an en suite and wide windows that overlook the back yard. There’s even a basement they are hoping to turn into a nook eventually. There’s a pool and a garden that Heaven immediately claims as her personal project.

“It’s going to be beautiful,” she tells them confidently, already planning flowerbeds and vegetable patches.

It’s a little further out than they initially wanted, but it’s still an easy drive to the firehouse and Chris’s school. Best of all, it comes in well under budget. No mortgage. Paid in full. Eddie can’t stop smiling for days. It feels like a dream.

They move in before the sale on Eddie’s old house is finalised and before Grey officially comes to live with them full time. 

The timing is tight, but they make it work.

Her room becomes a labor of love. They paint the walls in bright, cheerful colours, no shades of grey in sight. They fill her shelves with books about love and family and Buck discovers something unexpected when he opens her wardrobe and it’s basically bursting at the seams. His usually shopping-averse boyfriend can’t seem to stop buying little dresses and pretty outfits for Grey. Every time Eddie finds something cute, it ends up in their cart.

“What?” Eddie says defensively when Buck raises an eyebrow at yet another sweet floral print dress. “She’s going to look adorable.”

“She’s got more clothes then both of us and she isn’t even two yet,” Buck points out, grinning.

“Exactly. Peak cuteness.”

They start calling her Gigi almost immediately. If they can’t change her name officially, a nickname will do. They make a point of introducing her as Gigi to everyone, and soon, it sticks.

The first time Maddie meets Gigi, Buck feels like his chest might burst. She arrives at the house with Chimney, Jee-Yun, and little Kevin in tow, her arms full of baked goods because, as she put it, “Meeting my niece calls for cookies. Lots of cookies.”

As soon as she steps inside and spots Gigi toddling around in a yellow sundress Eddie couldn’t resist buying, Maddie freezes. Her eyes soften and for a moment, she just stands there, taking it all in. Gigi glances up at the new arrivals, clutching her stuffed bunny tightly and toddles cautiously toward Buck, her big, curious eyes darting between him and Maddie and her arms up in a sign of, hold me please. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” Maddie says softly, crouching down to Gigi’s level. There’s a catch in her voice, like she’s trying not to cry. “You must be Gigi.”

Buck scoops Gigi up, his hand steady on her tiny back as she burrows against his chest. “This is your Aunt Maddie,” he says gently, brushing a kiss over the top of Gigi’s head. “She’s been waiting to meet you.”

Maddie looks up at Buck, her eyes brimming with tears, but her smile is so wide it practically lights up the room. “She’s perfect,” Maddie says, her voice thick with emotion. 

Buck feels something warm swell in his chest, his throat tightening as he holds Gigi close. Maddie stands, reaching out to touch Buck’s arm, her hand squeezing it just enough to ground him. “You’re going to be so good at this,” she says, her voice quieter now, meant just for him. “You already are.”

He doesn’t trust himself to speak, so he just nods, blinking quickly and pressing his cheek against Gigi’s hair to hide the emotions threatening to spill over. He hadn’t realised how much this moment would mean to him, to have Maddie meet Gigi, to see her look at him with that kind of pride and love.

Maddie shifts her focus back to Gigi, her tears finally spilling over as she laughs softly. “You are going to be so spoiled, little one. Just wait until Uncle Chimney starts showing up with his ridiculously silly toys.”

“Hey!” Chimney protests, stepping forward with Jee-Yun tugging on his hand. “They’re educational toys.”

“Sure they are,” Maddie says with a teasing grin before looking back at Gigi, her voice softening again. “Welcome to the family, Gigi.”

Buck feels Gigi relax in his arms, her tiny hand reaching out to touch Maddie’s necklace. It’s a simple, sweet moment, but Buck knows it’ll stick with him forever. Maddie beams at him one more time, a look that says more than words ever could. You’ve got this. We’re here for you. Always.

In that moment, Buck doesn’t just feel like a good dad, he feels like a great one. And for the first time in what feels like forever, he doesn’t doubt for a second that he and Eddie are exactly where they’re meant to be.

Bobby and Athena take to Gigi immediately, doting on her with a kind of warmth and ease that Buck finds both heartwarming and bittersweet. From the moment they first meet her, it’s as though Gigi has cast a spell on them both.

When they visit, Bobby sits on the floor, a far cry from his usual composed and authoritative self, letting Gigi plop random objects into his lap. She toddles back and forth across the room, clutching everything from wooden spoons to blocks to one of Eddie’s sneakers, presenting each treasure to Bobby with a proud little flourish.

“Oh, thank you, Gigi,” Bobby says seriously, inspecting a plastic dinosaur she’s just handed him. “This is exactly what I needed.”

Athena sits on the couch, watching the scene unfold with a soft smile. “You’re just enabling her,” she teases lightly.

Bobby shrugs, balancing the dinosaur on top of a growing pile of items in his lap. “She’s very generous,” he says, earning a delighted squeal from Gigi as she claps her hands and runs off to find something else to bring him.

Meanwhile, Athena proves to be just as smitten, albeit in her own way. When Gigi waddles over to her, babbling something completely unintelligible, Athena leans forward, nodding thoughtfully as though Gigi’s ramblings are the most important thing she’s heard all day.

“Really?” Athena says, her voice serious and full of intrigue. “And what happened after that?”

Gigi gasps dramatically, launching into another round of nonsense, her little hands flailing in the air for emphasis. Buck watches from the doorway, grinning as Athena nods again, her expression so earnest it’s almost comical.

“Mm-hmm,” Athena says, tilting her head thoughtfully. “Well, you handled that very well, sweetheart. I’m impressed.”

Gigi beams, clearly thrilled by the attention, and toddles back over to Bobby, depositing yet another object, a spatula this time, into his lap.

“Thank you, Gigi,” Bobby says, his voice warm. “I don’t know what I’d do without this.”

Buck exchanges a glance with Eddie, who’s leaning against the counter, arms crossed and lips twitching with amusement. He walks over to Buck and wraps his arms around his waist, resting his head on Buck’s shoulder.  

“Should we tell them they’re spoiling her rotten?” Eddie murmurs in his ear.

“Absolutely not,” Buck replies, a laugh in his voice. “They’d deny it anyway.”

It’s chaotic, it’s exhausting and it’s wonderful.

Months after the process began, their daughter is brought back to them for the last time. It’s official now. She’s theirs.

When they close the door that night and look at her toddling around their living room, dragging her bunny behind her, it hits them all over again. She’s home. 

Finally, she’s home.

Chapter Text

Being a family of four comes with joyful moments, chaotic ones and the kind of exhaustion that makes you wonder if coffee counts as a meal.

Gigi turns two and the entire family throws her the most adorable and slightly chaotic, dog themed birthday party. Gigi is obsessed with dogs and demands a doggy cake. Chimney, despite knowing better, offers to take charge. The end result is a slightly terrifying, frosting heavy creation with sagging frosting ears. Hen, as the Queen of backup plans, swoops in with a professionally made cake just in time, saving the day and Chimney’s dignity.

The backyard is a sea of paw print balloons, bone shaped cookies and kids running around in puppy themed face paint. Gigi is the star of the show in a Dalmatian onesie, a hand me down from big cousin Jee, barking gleefully at guests while Christopher plays the responsible older sibling, making sure no one eats the decorative candles (Gigi does).

The guest list is as lively as expected. Hen and Karen arrive with dog ear headbands for everyone.

While Chimney comes in a full body dog costume, sweating through it within ten minutes but refusing to break character. Maddie films the whole thing, alternating between laughter and saying, “You wouldn’t believe that no one asked for this.”

Athena and Bobby bring practical, thoughtful gifts (because they are, of course, the MVPs of responsibility).

And then there’s Heaven and Pete. They sweep into the yard with their trail of feral white haired ducklings, like they’ve just stepped out of an energy vortex, carrying an enormous bundle wrapped in silk scarves.

“This is for Gigi,” Heaven declares with a reverence that makes everyone stop and stare.

Inside the bundle is… a crystal pyramid. “It’s for her aura,” Pete explains solemnly. “The pyramid’s energy will amplify her inner light and protect her from chaotic vibrations.”

Everyone exchanges wide eyed glances, except Buck, who enthusiastically nods along. “This is incredible! Gigi, you’re so lucky!”

“Who the hell are these people?” He hears Karen whisper to Hen.

Eddie pulls Buck aside later to say through gritted teeth, “Where are we even putting that?”

“She can use it as a nightlight!” Buck whispers back, because he’s definitely keeping it.

The party reaches peak chaos during the piñata, shaped like a doggy. Chimney ends up holding it up when it breaks off the string, only for Bobby to warn, “You’re standing way too close!”

Hen has to rescue him from an overzealous Christopher, who swings like he’s aiming for the big leagues.

Gigi ignores the candy, happily sticking her face into her slice of cake instead while Buck beams proudly.

“She’s definitely my kid,” he says. Eddie just hands him a wet wipe.

They get her a swing set for her birthday. Buck swears he has never seen Gigi happier than when she’s being pushed in the swing. “Higher!” she shouts, clapping her chubby little hands.

“Higher, Dada!”

Eddie emerges from the house, ear pressed to his phone, already wielding his trademark dad glare. He’s a freaking blood hound for danger, “Do not push her any higher. You’ll make her sick.”

Buck, being the responsible adult he definitely is not , sticks his tongue out at Eddie the moment he turns his back and gives Gigi another gentle shove. “Higher!” Gigi screams in delight.

The adrenaline seeking gene has clearly skipped no one.

Potty training is its own level of hell. They try everything, stickers, books and even a potty that sings and lights when Gigi uses it.

Unfortunately, Gigi doesn’t take it seriously and decides she’s only going to use the potty if she gets an entire audience.

One memorable day, Eddie comes home from work to find Buck and Maddie sitting cross legged on the bathroom floor like a toddler talent show panel while Gigi sits on her little potty, holding court. “Potty!” she announces, looking delighted with herself.

“I think we’re supposed to clap now.”  Maddie whispers.

“You’re all insane,” Eddie declares.

And though this is probably true Buck has to argue back, “We’re motivating her!”

By the end of the summer, Buck decides he’s ready to propose. He’s got it all planned, something simple and sweet at the beach with Gigi and Chris as his helpers.

But Eddie, as it turns out, beats him to it.

One evening, after a chaotic dinner where Gigi throws pasta like a professional pitcher and Christopher nearly chokes from laughing too hard, Eddie sneaks out to the backyard with Buck.

The kids are finally asleep and the stars are out.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while,” Eddie says, his voice calm but laced with that quiet intensity that Buck can never resist. He pulls something out of his pocket, a simple silver band.

“Don’t you dare cry,” Eddie teases, though he’s definitely holding back tears himself.

“I’m not crying,” Buck lies, swiping at his eyes.

Eddie takes a deep breath, his voice soft but steady. “I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re my home, Buck. You and the kids. So, will you—”

Buck doesn’t let him finish. He tackles Eddie in a hug so forceful they both end up lying in the grass, laughing like idiots.

“Is that a yes?” Eddie asks, smiling up at him.

“It’s a hell yes, Diaz” Buck replies, grinning so wide it hurts and kissing him with just as much love as he feels.

They take Christopher and Gigi to the zoo on a sunny Saturday morning, armed with snacks, a stroller and a level of excitement that rivals the kids. As they step through the gates, Gigi’s eyes grow wide, her little hand clutching Buck’s while she takes in the sights and sounds around her.

Christopher leads the way, already reciting facts about animals he’s learned over the years of visits, to his little sister. “Did you know giraffes have the same number of neck bones as humans?” he announces proudly, his voice rising over the chatter of the crowd.

Buck, always eager to jump in, replies, “Yeah, but they’re way bigger. Imagine if you had a neck that long!”

Gigi, nestled in Eddie’s arms, watches her brother and Buck with quiet fascination, her thumb firmly in her mouth. She’s still too young to keep up with Christopher’s boundless energy or Buck’s endless enthusiasm, but her big eyes stay focused on them, taking it all in.

At the lion exhibit, Christopher and Buck engage in an animated discussion about who would win in a race: a lion or a cheetah.

Buck insists the lion would have a chance “if it had a head start,” while Christopher passionately argues for the cheetah.

Meanwhile, Gigi simply snuggles closer to Eddie, her head tucked under his chin. He strokes her back, smiling down at her as she listens quietly to the lively debate.

“What do you think, Gigi?” Buck asks, his face lighting up with a grin, as he leans over to tickle under her chin.

Gigi removes her thumb just long enough to mumble, “Kitty,” before putting it back and nuzzling into Eddie’s shoulder again.

Eddie chuckles, kissing the top of her head. “She’s more of a quiet observer,” he says softly, his tone filled with pride.

“Like you” Buck smiles softly.

As the day goes on, Christopher and Buck continue their self declared mission to impart all the animal knowledge they’ve ever acquired, while Eddie and Gigi stick to the sidelines, enjoying the calmer moments. When they reach the elephant enclosure, Buck and Christopher move off to get a better view and Eddie kneels down to point out the baby elephant to Gigi.

“See that, sunshine? It’s a baby, just like you,” Eddie says, his voice warm and soothing. Gigi watches the elephant with wide eyes before looking up at Eddie, sweet beaming smile and nods enthusiastically.

By the end of the day, Christopher is still buzzing with excitement (interestingly he had mention before they came that he was too old for the zoo, but he wanted to make it great for his sister), chattering nonstop about everything they saw, while Gigi is half asleep in Eddie’s arms. Buck puts his hand on Christophers shoulder, squeezing it encouragingly and looks back at Eddie and Gigi with a soft smile.

“She didn’t say much, but I think she had a good time,” Buck whispers, watching as Eddie adjusts Gigi’s hat to shield her face from the sun.

“She loved it,” Eddie replies, his voice steady and sure. “She just doesn’t need to say it out loud.”

The first Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas spent as a family of four were nothing short of magical. For Buck and Eddie, the holidays held a new sense of warmth, a fresh spark of joy that came from being a couple now engaged and from the excitement of a two and a half year old, someone who saw everything through a lens of wonder and excitement.

It was contagious.

Halloween rolled around and as soon as the first leaf changed Conor, Buck was already on Pinterest, planning what costume he could get the whole family to wear. He decided for their first one to go simple and classic.

He was buzzing with excitement. “Alright, team, here we go! We’re doing Toy Story ! Eddie, you’re gonna be Jessie, I’m Woody, Gigi’s Bullseye and Christopher’s… not joining us?”

Christopher was sprawled on the couch, scrolling through his phone. “Yeah, I’m out. Gonna hang with my friends tonight.”

Buck blinked, a little taken aback. “But… we planned this! Toy Story !”

Christopher just shrugged, already half paying attention to a text message. “Sorry, Buck. I’m just not into it this year. You guys have fun, though.”

Buck’s face dropped slightly, but Eddie, ever the understanding one, gave him a quick squeeze on the shoulder. “It’s alright, Buck. He’s growing up. Halloween’s for the kids… who aren’t quite as old as Christopher.”

“I’ll miss him being part of the group,” Buck says, trying to mask the sadness in his voice.

Buck sighed dramatically but Eddie, ever the calm one, wrapped an arm around him. “It’s fine. Come on. We’ve still got the little one.”

They quickly get dressed, Buck donned his Woody costume, complete with the sheriff’s badge and cowboy hat. “Alright, Eddie, time to rock your Jessie look.”

Eddie squinted at the cow print flares and sighed. “Why do I have to be the girl? This isn’t fair.”

Buck grinned mischievously. “Come on, babe, I’ve seen you very much enjoy being a cowgirl.” He winked.

Eddie rolled his eyes, but there was a flush creeping up his neck. “Buck! Do not make this a sexy thing.”

Buck leaned in, voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “I have plans for this hat tonight” He leans over to place the hat on Eddie’s head and give him a quick kiss on the cheeks. Eddie stiffen, his face turning a shade redder.

“Stop,” Eddie grumbled, though his smirk betrayed how much he secretly enjoyed the playful teasing.

Gigi trots in, happily running around, giggling and pretending to be a real horse. She’s already dressed up in her Bullseye costume, complete with floppy ears, a tail and a soft brown bodysuit that made her look absolutely adorable.

Buck laughed as he watched her. “Look at our little Bullseye! She’s ready to gallop off into the sunset.”

“She’s been practicing her neighs all day.” Eddie says, laughing as he adjusted his Jessie hat.

“Little Bullseye’s ready to go!” Buck stomps in front of her and she copies him excitedly.

With Christopher ditching them, the three of them hit the streets.

Buck, tipped his hat and grinned at neighbours. “Yeehaw!”

Eddie, still not thrilled about being Jessie, but secretly enjoying the attention, rolled his eyes. “We’re gonna need a sugar detox by the end of tonight.”

By the time they made it home, their candy bags were heavy and their hearts were full. Buck wrapped an arm around Eddie. “Not the Toy Story crew I imagined, but still a great first Halloween with Gigi.”

Thanksgiving was a bit more subdued, but no less meaningful. Buck and Eddie had to work, which meant they missed out on the traditional family meal, but that didn’t mean they didn’t get to experience the joy of the holiday in their own way.

The real magic was in the evening when they returned home and made dinner together, it maybe isn’t a traditional turkey, but it’s still something that still felt like home.

As they settled into the couch, the cozy warmth of their small family surrounding them was everything they needed. They curled up together with a Christmas movie, enjoying the quiet of the evening, thankful for everything they had.

Christmas? Christmas was a whole new level of magic.

The night before, Buck and Eddie spent hours assembling toys, adjusting stockings and wrapping presents with a sense of excitement that only parents could understand.

But nothing, nothing, could have prepared them for what would unfold the next morning.

Christmas morning arrived and as the first light of dawn broke through the windows, Buck and Eddie found themselves wide awake before the kids, the excitement buzzing in the air, they just couldn’t wait to see their children’s faces when they seen what Santa had left.

As they stepped into the living room, Gigi’s little eyes grew wide with delight. There, under the twinkling tree, was a pile of gifts, topped with a shiny new tricycle with a bow on it. She gasped in wonder, pointing at the toys and her tricycle as if she couldn’t believe her eyes.

“Santa!” Gigi gleamed, her voice full of awe as she looked at Buck and Eddie. “Santa brought me a bike!”

Buck and Eddie shared a look, both equally overcome with emotion. This was everything they had dreamed of, making memories as a family, creating a sense of wonder and joy for their little girl.

Gigi hopped onto her tricycle, pedaling around the living room like a little whirlwind, squealing with joy. Christopher, followed along with his sister, playfully nudging her with his crutch as they both circled the room.

When the evening came, the house was filled with laughter, the sound of children playing and the clinking of glasses as friends and family gathered. Maddie and Chimney, Hen and Karen, Athena and Bobby, everyone who had supported them, who had become part of their family, were all there. The adults sipped wine and gossiped, the kids ran wild, laughing and playing in their little holiday wonderland.

Eddie stood by the kitchen, watching as Buck worked the stove, faces lighting up when they caught each other’s eye. The house was filled with the soft hum of conversation, the clatter of silverware and the sounds of Gigi and Christopher laughing in the background.

In that moment, Buck couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest man alive.

It was perfect. It was chaotic. But it was their perfect chaos.

Eddie wrapped his arms around Buck from behind, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck. “This is everything.”

Buck turned, his hands brushing against Eddie’s as he pulled him close and humming, “Mm… and we get to have this every year”

And as they stand together in the warmth of their home, with the laughter of their friends and family echoing around them, Buck knew that the holidays would only get better from here on out, this was everything he had always dreamed of and now it was real.

Buck used to love the grocery store. He loved the order, the predictability, the sheer calm of it. He had a tried and true system, a specialised colour coded shopping list he'd been perfecting for years. He shared it with Eddie, proudly annotating it for seasonal sales and optimal aisle efficiency. Buck loved the thrill of hunting for deals, the deliberation between lavender or citrus dish soap and the satisfaction of knowing his pantry was stocked like a mini convenience store.

But shopping with a precocious two-year-old? That was Buck's personal version of the ninth circle of hell.

He tried everything to make it fun.

He bought a plush liner for the cart seat after Gigi whined, "Too hard, Dada!"

He brought toys to keep her entertained, but they ended up thrown into random shelves.

He even resorted to Christopher's iPad, which usually had her transfixed, but not in the grocery store. No screen could compete with the allure of chaos.

Gigi refused to stay in the cart seat for more than five minutes, wriggling free like an escape artist. When Buck let her walk beside him, she turned into a miniature Usain Bolt, darting down aisles at lightning speed. Picking her up only made it worse, her squeals echoed through the store like a piglet caught in a fence.

Still, Buck refused to admit defeat.

He was determined to tackle the store alone with Gigi, Eddie didn't need to get involved. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

So, while Gigi napped, Buck prepared his secret weapon.

When Eddie walked into the living room and saw Buck holding a pink, unicorn shaped backpack with a leash attached, his eyebrows shot up so high they practically touched his hairline.

"You can't be serious," Eddie said, his voice teetering between amusement and disbelief. "You want to leash our daughter?"

"It's not a leash," Buck protested, holding up the backpack like it was a shield. "It's a backpack... with a rein."

"Buck, it's a leash."

"It's not! It's functional!"

"It's a leash," Eddie said, crossing his arms but clearly enjoying himself.

"Eddie," Buck groaned, dragging a hand through his hair. "You don't understand. She's so fast. She's like a whippet. I can't keep up! It's either this or I lose her in the cereal aisle again and some poor stock boy has to hear me screaming her name like I'm in a Liam Neeson movie."

Eddie laughed, shaking his head. "You know she could just stay here with me. Or, hear me out, I could come with you."

"No," Buck said firmly. "I can handle this. I just need... tools."

"Tools," Eddie echoed, smirking.

Buck sighed dramatically. "Please don't mock me right now”

"I'm not mocking you, baby," Eddie said, stepping closer, his hands sliding onto Buck's hips. "I like organized Buck. It's sexy." He kissed Buck's jaw, voice dropping into a low murmur. "How about I make this easier for you? I'll come with you. I'll wrangle Gigi and you can use your coupons to your heart's content."

Buck moaned theatrically. "God, don't talk about coupons. You know what that does to me."

"Coupons," Eddie whispered, his tone sultry, followed by a wicked laugh.

Buck groaned. "Fine. Yes, please baby wrangle. Let me coupon in peace."

"Good," Eddie murmured, pressing another kiss to Buck's ear. "Now, while Gigi is asleep, let me take some of that stress away before we go to the store..."

Buck grinned, swatting Eddie's shoulder. M"Don't make promises you can't keep, Diaz"

“Trust me,” Eddie says, his smirk wicked as he turns away to walk towards the stairs. “This isn’t a deal you want to miss out on” He calls over his shoulder.

Sharing a bed with a toddler should honestly be a scientific study. Someone needs to figure out how a person so small can take up so much space.

Are toddlers secretly made of dark matter?

Buck and Eddie are both big men, Buck being bigger, obviously, but Eddie is no slouch. They have a king sized bed, which is plenty roomy when it’s just the two of them, especially considering Eddie sleeps like a barnacle attached to the bottom of a cruise liner. The cruise liner being Buck.

But then there’s Gigi.

Their sweet, precious, space defying daughter has an uncanny ability to sense exactly when they’ve gotten comfortable. Whether she wakes up crying for the potty, water or just a cuddle, she inevitably ends up in bed with them, wedged firmly between Buck and Eddie.

At first, it’s cute, Gigi snuggled into Buck’s chest while Eddie wraps an arm around both of them, everyone cozy and content.

But that’s just not how it stays.

By 3am, Buck has usually woken up with a tiny foot pressed against his face, Eddie’s legs dangling off the side of the bed like he’s clinging to life and Gigi starfished in the middle, somehow managing to occupy 97% of the mattress.

The breaking point comes when Buck wakes up one morning to find himself alone in bed. Not just Eddie-less, but with Gigi spread out like she owns the place. He stumbles groggily to her room, only to find Eddie curled up on the pink toddler bed, one arm draped over a stuffed unicorn and his legs hanging off the edge like he’s been exiled from society.

“How did this happen?” Buck whispers, staring down at him in disbelief.

Eddie looks up with bags under his eyes and a defeated expression. “I couldn’t take one more elbow to the face, Buck. I’m weak.”

Buck tries not to laugh but fails. “You let our two year old banish you from our bed?”

“She’s not a toddler,” Eddie mutters, flopping back against the far too small pillow. “She’s a tyrant. A tiny, adorable tyrant.”

“Come back to bed,” Buck says, grabbing Eddie’s arm.

“Not until she gets a bigger bed. Preferably in another galaxy.” Eddie shakes his head, dead serious

And that’s how Buck ends up spending the next weekend at the hardware store with Bobby, designing the toddler bed of Eddie’s dreams and more importantly, not theirs.

Kids fight.

More importantly, siblings fight. It’s natural. It’s part of life. But watching a sixteen year old and a two year old argue? That’s not just natural, it’s a spectator sport.

Eddie and Buck discover this one Saturday afternoon when Christopher and Gigi get into what can only be described as a heated debate over a bright green rubber ball. Christopher, being the older sibling, is trying to maintain some level of calm and logic. Gigi, on the other hand, is powered by pure toddler chaos.

He wishes they had popcorn.

“It’s my ball, Gigi,” Christopher says patiently, holding the ball just out of her reach.

“No, mine!” Gigi shouts, her tiny fists clenched and her face scrunched up in an expression that screams battle mode.

“Gigi, you have like ten balls. Go play with one of those,” Christopher reasons, gesturing toward the toy box in the corner where an actual avalanche of toys threatens to spill out.

Gigi, however, is unimpressed. She plants her hands on her hips, tilts her head like she’s channeling Athena, and says, “No. That my favourite!”

From their spot on the couch, Eddie and Buck watch with rapt attention, both trying (and failing) to stifle their laughter.

“She’s got the hands on the hips thing,” Buck whispers. “She’s not backing down.”

“She learned that from you,” Eddie murmurs back, smirking.

Meanwhile, Christopher is attempting to use reason, which is clearly his first mistake. “Gigi, you can’t just take things. That’s not how it works.”

“Yes, can!” Gigi yells, stomping her foot for emphasis.

“No, you can’t,” Christopher insists, still clutching the ball.

“Yes, can!”

“No, you can’t!”

“Yes. CAN!”

At this point, Eddie has to cover his mouth with his hand to keep from laughing out loud, and Buck leans over to whisper, “She’s two years old and she’s already out debating him.”

Christopher, realising logic isn’t working, shifts gears. “Okay, if it’s your favourite, what colour is it?”

“Green!” Gigi says without missing a beat.

Christopher looks mildly impressed but tries again. “Okay, then what’s the shape ?”

“A ball!” Gigi shouts triumphantly, like she’s just won the Nobel Prize for sibling arguments.

“Are you guys just gonna sit there and laugh?” Christopher groans and looks over at Eddie and Buck for help.

“Yes,” Eddie replies immediately, not even bothering to hide his grin.

“Absolutely,” Buck adds, holding up his phone. “Also, I’m recording this for when you’re both older.”

Gigi, sensing a victory, reaches out and grabs the ball while Christopher is distracted. “Mine!” she declares, holding it over her head like she’s just pulled the sword from the stone.

Christopher stares at her in disbelief. “You just took it while I wasn’t looking! That’s cheating!”

“Cheating!” Gigi parrots happily, running off with her prize.

As Christopher throws himself onto the couch in defeat, Eddie claps him on the shoulder. “Welcome to the next fifteen years of your life, kid.”

“And hey,” Buck says with a smirk, “you almost won. That’s progress.”

Christopher groans, grabbing a pillow and covering his face. “I’m never having kids.”

From the other room, Gigi’s victorious laughter rings out, and Eddie and Buck exchange a knowing look.

“She’s gonna be president someday,” Eddie says, shaking his head.

“Or a lawyer,” Buck replies. “Either way, we’re in trouble.”

Buck’s first experience with dad guilt felt like someone had reached inside his stomach and squeezed it with a vice grip. It was physical, like a weight pressing down on his chest, making it hard to breathe. He felt like he was suffocating, only it wasn’t from anything tangible, it was from the feeling of leaving his little girl behind, upset and unsure.

It was supposed to be a good morning. Usually, daycare was a breeze for Gigi, she loved it. Loved her teachers, loved her friends, loved getting her hands dirty in the mud kitchen.

But today, everything had gone wrong.

She hadn’t slept well the night before and the morning had been a disaster. She refused breakfast and when he tried to brush her hair, the tears had started flowing.

Eddie had to chase her around the house, trying to get her dressed, but Gigi was having none of it.

“No clothes, daddy!” she’d screamed, running around the house naked.

“That is not what a father wants to hear!” Eddie had cried out, looking more like a flustered circus performer than a parent as he tried, and failed, to catch her.

And then, when they dropped Christopher off at school, Gigi had been a mess. She clung to her brother arm, leaning across the seats from her car seat, tears streaming down her face as she begged, “No, don’t go, Chrisy!” Christopher had slid out of the car, looking back at Buck with a guilty expression, but there was nothing he could do.

The rest of the drive to daycare had been filled with whining and sniffles. It was like Gigi knew something was off and the meltdown when they finally got to daycare was the cherry on top.

She screamed when they tried to leave and Eddie had to practically drag Buck away while Gigi’s teacher tried to comfort her, reassuring them that she would be fine.

And Buck, well, Buck just stood there, staring at the scene unfolding in front of him, his throat tight. He wanted to turn around and take her home. He wanted to wrap her up and keep her safe, away from the world that seemed to be so much bigger and scarier than she was.

“I hate this,” Buck muttered, leaning against the side of his Jeep, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. He knew it was stupid but he hated seeing her upset, even if he knew she’d be fine. In that moment, he just couldn’t shake the feeling that he was abandoning her.

“She’ll be fine, Buck,” Eddie said gently, stepping up to him and placing a hand on his arm. The comforting pressure of Eddie’s touch grounded him, even if just a little.

“She was so upset,” Buck murmured, his voice cracking.

Eddie nodded, squeezing his arm lightly. “I know, baby. But it gets easier.”

Buck frowned, his brow furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“Dad guilt,” Eddie explained with a soft shrug, as though it were the most natural thing in the world. “I felt the same way the first time I had to leave Christopher after Shannon left. I ended being later for work because I was just sitting in my truck and I couldn’t stop crying. It gets easier, I promise. She’s safe and when Carla pick her up, she’s going to tell us she was playing with her friends, having the time of her life.”

Buck wiped at his eyes, not caring if Eddie saw the tear that slipped down his cheek. “But what if… what if Heaven’s right? What if she’s sad forever or something?”

Eddie let out a heavy sigh, rolling his eyes. “You’re really going to listen to the crazy woman, she’ll say we need to dunk Gigi in a waterfall and chant to cure her of sadness? She’ll be fine, Buck.”

Buck looked up at Eddie, uncertainty still clouding his features. “Promise?”

Eddie smiled, his face softening as he brushed a stray lock of hair from Buck’s face. “Promise.”

Buck exhaled, some of the weight lifting from his chest. “Love you.”

“I love you too, dumby.” Eddie leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to the top of Buck’s head, letting him rest there for a moment longer.

Speaking of Heaven and Pete Moss.

It was a regular Tuesday. Buck and Eddie were picking up Gigi from their house after a playdate with her cousins.

Now, Buck had been dealing with Heaven and Pete's eccentricities for over a year, so he wasn't entirely shocked by their latest proposition.

In fact, he was kind of offended it took them this long to bring it up.

What did throw him off, however, was how casual they were about it. He guesses he should just be thankful the kids were not around to witness it, still in the backyard playing (or finding adventure).

"Oh, my darling boys," Heaven said as she breezed into the kitchen with Pete trailing behind, "we've decided we should share our bodies."

Buck froze and Eddie froze.

"Wait, what?" Eddie asked cautiously, because sometimes it was hard to tell if Heaven and Pete were joking or just... existing in a different plane of reality. “God is this some blood sacrifice shit”

"Oh no, Tawny. Our bodies, darling," Heaven repeated, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. "We think they call to each other."

Eddie blinked, clearly struggling to keep up. "Call to what?"

"Sex, Eddie," Buck said, making a very enthusiastic gesture with his hands and then cringing at what he done.

Eddie snorted before he could help it, but then realised no one was laughing.

The look of Oh, they're serious, crossing his handsome face.

"Sex?" Eddie repeated, his voice a little higher than normal. "You want to... what? With us?"

"Yes, darling, our spirits are so aligned," Heaven say, nodding sagely. "Our energies are intertwined and we think we need to become one with the earth. It's... primal. We want to do it in the grass out back, where the wind and the soil can witness us."

Buck looks toward Pete who grins like he was hearing his wife reveal some ancient secret.

Eddie almost choked. "What?" He looked at Buck, his face had now morphed into confusion and mild horror.

Heaven's eyes sparkled. "The grass, the earth, the animalistic need to-"

"Oh my god, no," Eddie interjected, still blinking in disbelief. "Fuck off."

Buck can’t help the laugh that bubbles up his throat, Eddie grew tired of being diplomatic with Heaven and Pete after about the second meeting and it never fails to humour him when he just says the first thing he can think off.

Heaven and Pete blinked back at them, unbothered. "The energy's so strong, darling. It's calling to us."

Buck and Eddie exchanged a look of pure disbelief. "I'm gay," Eddie said flatly, like that was some sort of solid reasoning for not participating in their weird orgy and not that they just really didn’t want too.

Buck, deciding he needed to step in here, adds, "Also, we just aren't open like that." He put on his best serious face, then closed his hands together like he was finishing a chapter in a book. "Our relationship is... closed."

Pete looked disappointed. "Such a shame, Buck. Your bodies are beautiful. Why not share them?"

Heaven nods. "That dolphin energy of yours, Buck, it's meant to be shared, not hidden away” She breathes coming closer as stroking his arm.

"I'm done sharing unfortunately. We're getting married and I'm keeping my energy to myself, thank you very much." Buck laughed, shaking his head.

Once upon a time, Buck might have entertained the idea of the ‘sharing is caring’ lifestyle. He was young, adventurous and let’s face it, curious.

But after a few too many… misadventures and some very awkward mornings, he knows it not for him. It’s not want he’s ever really wanted.

Now, with Eddie? He’s more than content. Their sex life is fun, fulfilling and just the right amount of spicy. And honestly? Buck’s never been happier.

What is he even saying? Why does he have to explain himself like this? Why are they making him have this mental debate while standing in front of the freakiest couple on earth?

It’s just… Not. Happening.

Not with these people. Not with anyone. He’s found his person and he’s not about to start handing Eddie out like some kind of community snack.

The only one who touches his man is him .

Eddie is his, all of him. It’s a no sharing zone in their relationship and Buck’s got the locks on the door.

It’s actually sort of hilarious, imagining the absurdity of Heaven and Pete’s offer. ‘Yeah, no thanks, Pete. I’m good just keeping Eddie all to myself. I don’t need to share him, not even with the grass in your backyard’

Buck shook his head, realising how ridiculous it all sounded. He couldn’t even fathom sharing Eddie with anyone . The idea of someone else kissing him, touching him… Nope. He loved Eddie so much, he was practically jealous of the air Eddie breathed.

Besides, he’d worked hard for this, years of bad decisions and questionable dating choices had led him here.

To Eddie.

To the good stuff .

Why would he risk that for some wild orgy in Heaven and Pete’s backyard?

The only person who touches Eddie is him and he’s perfectly fine with that.

He smiled to himself, feeling oddly protective of the whole situation. “Yeah, not happening,” he muttered under his breath.

This is not a community garden, it’s a private park .

Eddie crossed his arms. "We're good. Trust me. We won’t be sharing our energy with anyone but each other."

Okay, possessive. Hot.

"I think you should think on it," Pete said, his voice like a half serious, half whimsical suggestion.

Jesus. Give up man.

"No, thank you," Eddie said quickly, snapping out of his daze. He looked at Buck. "It's Gigi's home time." He turned back to Heaven and Pete, giving them a firm nod. "Thanks for the offer, but no." God, his fiancé is so sexy.

Later that night, after dinner and the kids are in bed, Buck and Eddie curl up on the couch, exchanging kisses and holding each other.

"I can't believe they want us to—" Eddie shook his head, still processing.

"Are you not offended it took them over a year to ask?" Buck asked, eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"Seriously? That's what you're focused on?" Eddie laughed. "I can't believe they even asked in the first place!"

Buck tilts his head. "What, you're surprised? You met those two right? T hey mentioned what a fantastic lover you must be the first time we met? Pete fucking told us he dreamed about thrusting his energy into us and birthing joy” Buck laughs, “Of course they want to sleep with us?"

Eddie blinked, processing this. "I thought they were happily married!"

"They are," Buck laughs, threading his fingers through Eddie’s hair. "They just like to open that happiness to others."

Eddie scoffed, shaking his head. "Yeah well, you're mine, Buck." He pulled Buck closer, nuzzling into him. "No one's having you but me."

Buck grinned. "Right back at you, cowgirl." He giggles and smacks his ass.

Time flows on and Gigi turns three, Chris learns to drive (utterly bonkers) and they embrace the most domestic life they can, all while balancing the chaos of being first responders.

They get married in the summer. Buck and Eddie both turn into groom-zillas in their own special ways.

Buck, determined for perfection, wants every detail to be flawless.

Eddie, protective as ever, would burn anyone who dares stand in Buck’s way, even if it means setting the whole world on fire.

Their wedding is a dream come true, surrounded by loved ones, laughter and joy. Chris is Eddie’s best man and Maddie is Buck’s best woman.

Jee-Yun and Gigi, in sweet white tulle dresses and woven wicker baskets (thanks too Heaven), shower the aisle with petals, making the moment feel like a fairytale.

Eddie and Buck, in matching tuxedos (a decision that nearly ended their engagement), exchange vows under a cascade of cheers.

The air is filled with love and their hearts are full.

There’s food and toasts with champagne, dancing and endless kisses, everything feels magical.

And by the end of night, tangled in each other’s arms in a hotel room by the beach, Buck’s mind drifts to their life ahead.

Chris, growing up, thinking about college and carving out his future.

Gigi, their little ray of sunshine, blooming into her own with dreams of a dog by Christmas. She isn’t grey, she’s a beacon of light and joy.

And then there are their friends and family, the people who surround them with love, who celebrate their happiness and who wish them nothing but the best.

Buck worked hard for this life.

He dreamed of it and now, with Eddie by his side, (his husband!!!!) they have forever.

And that’s all that matters.