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Ed had spent literal years dealing with a smashed up knee--decades, actually. It was basically a weight around his neck every day. He told people it was from a bike accident, but the truth was that his abusive father smashed it up when Ed was 14. Permanent nerve damage had given him daily pain and nothing had seemed to help really. He hated taking opiates, even when doctors would give them to a tattooed, queer brown man. He didn't tolerate a lot of other meds well, but he did all the shit, the physical therapy and the diets and exercise and talky therapy (which, to be honest the man needed anyway). Ed had gone through the literal gamut.
He had been debating about a new treatment with ketamine, but his insurance balked and the price tag made him refuse. But when he'd told his best friend, Stede had given him that look. "Edward. My trust fund alone is seven figures. The amount of dividends I donate to charity each month is over 30 grand. Will you let me pay for it already?" And Ed Teach could deny Stede Bonnet nothing. And so they'd scheduled an appointment.
Ed had met Stede when Fang introduced Lucius, who was Stede’s former PA and friend. The “introduction of friends” had gone so well--Ed had fucking all but imprinted on the pretty blonde man who was sweet and at times just a hint of catty, and oh so funny. So yeah. It never mattered to Stede that Ed had traded down a high paying think tank research job (which mostly adored having his name attached and hated when he opened his damn mouth) to teaching biology at a state college that leaned more ‘liberal arts.’ But Stede only seemed to care that Ed was happy, not that he was ‘wasting his potential’ or any of the things Izzy, his long-term lab tech, would have snarled at him.
Being with Stede was so fucking easy, and he made Ed happy. And Stede had cemented his place in the “Good Friend hall of fame” when he showed up to Ed’s last knee surgery. He had popped up at Ed’s house, ready to go and insisting he was the only choice. And since Stede’s “job” was what he described as “inherited wealth slacking,” he was perfectly fine to take off two weeks and live at Ed’s. He’d washed Ed’s hair in the sink and helped him with his crutches and fed the cat. Ed had realized, then, that he fucking loved Stede Bonnet, would never love anyone else with such fierce intensity--and Stede would never see him that way.
But when it came time to actually do the weird ketamine thing? There was no question that Stede would be at Ed’s side.
It was a surprisingly short process, after all the consultations and build ups and worry and letters from his therapist and shit. But once they were ushered into a closet of a room, Ed was given a nose spray, like an allergy one, and with a snort and a whoosh, that was all. The nurse lingered long enough to make sure he was stable, reminded them that Ed had to stay in the hospital for observation for two more hours, and then left Ed alone with his ride and best friend.
"Everything is so fucking soft ," Ed sighed. He stroked the cashmere blanket Stede had brought for him, in case he got cold. Because that was just the kind of shit Stede did . Because his feelings for his best friend were big and complicated, but they boiled down to Stede being willing to do whatever was necessary to make Ed happy. Bold as anything, Ed reached out and stroked Stede’s hand. "So soft! And it smells good."
Stede chuckled at that. They had warned that Ed would see low inhibitions. "Do you want to pet more things or watch tv?"
Ed went to sit on the tiny sofa. "Can we watch Golden Girls?" he asked in that sweet timid voice, like he was worried Stede would mock him for his comfort show.
Instead, Stede smiled, sitting next to Ed and grabbing the remote. “Of course."
Ed leaned on Stede a bit where he sat next to Ed, but that wasn't unusual. Ed was a tactile creature--he’d all but rubbed all over the cashmere blanket! And even sober he was always giving little touches. He’d admitted, once, the only person who ever touched him kindly was his mother. After that, Stede had made it a point to always touch Ed back, just as gently and affectionately whenever possible.
After the first episode, Ed grumbled. "M eyes hurt,” and he tucked his head against Stede’s shoulder.
"Shh, you rest here then.” Stede leaned, pulling Ed close and cuddling him to Stede’s chest. Ed seemed to like that, given his soft, pleased sigh. “Do you want to listen to the show?"
“Uh uh,” Ed denied. “Too much.”
That was something else they’d warned them--Ed’s threshold for overstimulation would be drastically lower. Seeking a quiet positive, Stede offered, “Can I read to you?”
“Mmhmm,” Ed purred against Stede’s chest. “Don’t care what. Just like your voice.”
Stede’s imagination tried to bombard him with images of Ed cuddled to his chest in a different scenario--one with much fewer clothes!--but he didn’t dare. He did get them to shuffle on the wide couch so they were a little more comfortable, Ed basically draped on top of Stede like a boneless cat, and Stede propped up by a pillow and the arm rest. Somewhat more comfortable, Stede took his e-reader and navigated to the romance Lucius had selected for book club. It was a sort of friends-to-lovers, sunshine/grump, with a lot of denial of their feelings. After a couple of short chapters, Ed huffed a melodramatic sigh.
Affecting the tones of a posh upper crust British lady, Stede said, “I do beg your pardon good sir! Whatsoever caused such a rude reaction!”
Ed usually was willing to play along and joke with him, keep things light. Instead, Ed seemed genuinely down? “I miss him Missus Nesbitt.”
Missus Nesbitt was the joking name they gave to the posh voice Stede did sometimes--like now. “Who do you miss, darling?” he kept the silly voice.
“Stede,” Ed whined. “I miss him.”
Oh. Oh? “What do you mean?” he kept the affected voice, just for the joke, of course.
“Stede. He’s my bestest mate. I miss him all the time . I’m really good at missing him, actually. Miss him when he leaves for the day. Miss him in the middle of the night. Miss him when I wake up…”
“Why do you miss him?” Stede managed to choke out around a too-tight throat. He wasn’t sure if he managed the joking accent or not.
Ed nuzzled in closer and heaved another sigh. “Cuz he’s my favorite person in the whole wide world. He’s the best. And I love him. I love him so much Missus Nesbit. But he doesn’t love me and that sucks but like…it’s fine, it’s whatever. I’d do anything to not lose him.”
“Why would you lose him?” Stede knows he’s not managing the voice now, that he’s holding Ed tightly and unable to stop himself.
“Cuz I love him! But he doesn’t…feel that way for me.” Ed sniffled. “I wanna kiss him and have him bend me over the bed and I wanna suck his dick and I wanna c-c-cuddle and have brekkie in bed and romantic dates and I wanna fuck him. I love him so much,” he managed to sob out in a barely intelligible run. “And he doesn’t. So I can’t. Can’t lose him.”
Stede clutched Ed close. He could feel where Ed was sniffling on his shirt and he oculd feel his own tears running out the side of his face quietly. Oh my darling Edward . “You won’t,” he whispered into Ed’s hair as he held him. “I bet he loves you back and he’s just as afraid to say so. He’s probably just as scared.” Ed gave a sad, resigned little sigh and snuggled in again. “What if you had your wish? That tomorrow Stede woke up and realized he loved you? What would happen?”
Ed’s laugh was sweet and sad. “God I think about that a lot actually. Dream about it. Get myself to sleep thinkin about it,” he huffed a soft laugh. “Favorite is when he shows up to my door with a buncha flowers.”
“Hydrangeas,” Stede said softly. “Purple ones. “They’re your favorites.” Ed was silent a long moment but cuddled into him. “What happens next?”
Ed snuggled into Stede’s chest heedless of the wet spot. “Asks me on a date. A real one. Sometimes it’s one of those fancy French places with menus you don’t understand. Sometimes it’s just our table at Roach’s. We eat a fancy meal an’ he compliments me that sweet way he does sometimes.”
Stede curled his fingers in Ed’s hair, holding him close. “Like how your hair is moonlight. How your eyes are the most beautiful sweet things he’s ever seen. How you take his breath away every day and every minute he’s with you he realizes he’s the luckiest man alive?”
“Yeah,” Ed’s voice is soft. “Maybe we go for a walk afterwards. And…he holds my hand. And then he asks if he can kiss me, cuz he’s a gentleman.”
Stede’s breathing felt stuttered. “And what does he say?”
Ed laughed. “It’s Stede . I’d kiss him anywhere. Anyplace? I’d kiss him next to an open sewer,” Ed giggled.
“How’s the kiss then,” Stede’s scared to ask but he has to, whispering it into Ed’s hair.
He sighs, “It’s Stede ,” he repeats, “So it’s perfect. He tells me he has feelings for me and I tell him I have feelings for him an’ he calls me his boyfriend and we kiss about it.”
He can’t help himself for asking, “And that’s it?”
“Not on the first date!” Ed titters. “I’m a classy date! An’ Stede’s a gentleman.”
Stede wasn’t sure what to say to that, so he just held Ed for a long while, Ed cuddled into his chest and both of them just breathing together. “Can we listen to music?”
He wasn’t able to answer easily, just mumbling an affirmative before putting on a playlist they’d picked out. Ed had teased him when Stede had suggested ‘Orinoco Flow,’ but it was the first song that played when he hit shuffle. Ed giggled and sighed happily and Stede tried to make sure the tears tracing down his cheeks were silent.
By the fourth song or so, Ed’s breathing had evened out. Stede clutched him close anyway, letting the man rest while Stede’s brain was far too active, thinking about the future, with all kinds of hope.
The nurses interrupted after another half an hour, and Ed had to move for them to take vitals. After, he lay his head in Stede’s lap, mumbling about being exhausted. Stede almost missed the nurse’s assurances that this was normal. He was busy grabbing his phone--he had some things to arrange.
Ed woke up groggy, unsure of what had happened. He remembered golden fires, Sophia’s makeup stressing him out. Stede read him a book but it turned super sexy and shifted until he and Stede were the characters, kissing again and again on a beach while Stede whispered, Edward .
Ok ugh. Not like he hasn’t had sex dreams about Stede. He’s had plenty of sex fantasies involving that man. The fantasies he’s had involving that man’s chest alone would be enough to fuel Penthouse for a decade…if Penthouse was still a thing. And was interested in a decade’s worth of smut about Stede Bonnet’s tits. A niche market, honestly. Even if Ed would subscribe for it.
He could smell something cooking, which would have usually been cause for alarm, at whatever serial killer was breaking into houses, making something garlicky and delicious and then like…chopping people up? But Ed also heard a soft sweet familiar voice singing along to Queen, his falsetto as familiar as anything.
Stede had stayed.
God damn it Ed needed that man to either realize Ed was in love with him or to start like, being a huge douchebag. If Stede would like, get really into vaping or start being mean to waiters, that would help Ed get over his bit stupid crush. And if a tiny voice suggested he could also help that along by talking to Stede about his feelings , well he shoved that part into a box and drowned it in denial.
Ed was feeling better, his knee’s ache was somewhat lessened, but his skin all felt a little raw. He threw on a banyan (stolen from Stede, although Stede insisted it was a gift and Ed preferred to think of it as a theft or else he’d fucking cry about it). He tied it shut over his boxer briefs and a tank top, figuring it was good enough. When he came out, Stede was standing, back to Ed, shaking his hips a little as he drained something. Ed tried not to swoon, watching the man be so comfortable in Ed’s fucking home. “Hey,” Ed croaked, surprised his voice was so craggly.
“Edward!” Stede beamed when he spun around. “I was hoping you’d be up soon! Have a seat, how’s the knee?”
Ed sat, carefully, at the bar. “Um, it’s…okay? Like, surprisingly?” Ed said as Stede bopped over to get him a big glass of water. Ed guzzled it down and Stede chuckled warmly as he took the empty glass and refilled it.
“The nurses did warn me that you’d possibly be very thirsty. And hungry! So, garlic shrimp alfredo.” He held up a hand to pause his question, “From scratch, of course!”
Fuck this man knew Ed so well. Ed wanted to kiss him so goddamn badly.
“Thank you,” he said instead of what he wanted to say which was more I love you and I would like to suck your dick right now please .
Stede beamed at him, the sunshine man he adored. “Drink your water, Edward,” he pretended to lecture, which definitely wasn’t turning Ed on. Nope. He wasn’t into bossy Stede.
It only took a couple minutes for Stede to set a plate in front of Ed and Ed felt fucking ravenous. Before he realized it he’d licked the plate clean, his body finally feeling a bit sated. Stede was smiling at Ed but he was being a little…weird? “Well, I need to go, things to do, of course!”
Ed tried not to feel bad about that. He had basically demanded Stede’s attendance, attention and help for an entire day. Of course the guy had other shit to do! “Yeah. Yea, course. Um…just…” he hesitated. “We’re good, right?”
Stede’s eyebrows shot up and he cocked his head, reminding Ed of a confused golden retriever when you hadn’t thrown the ball at all. “Of course? Why wouldn’t we be?”
Biting his lip, Ed admitted, “I just…I felt like I maybe said or did something weird?”
The blonde man’s face softened. “Oh Edward. No. You were fine. I swear.” They shared a slow soft smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Kay,” Ed whispered as Stede popped out the door with a smile. He tried not to feel like the sun had vanished, like his heart had just walked out of his chest.
With a sigh, he settled in for some baking show to soothe him. If Stede was being a bit weird, well, he’d still see him tomorrow.
Everything was going wrong and Stede was trying his damnedest not to cry about it. It had started when he had tried to resource some purple hydrangeas. He had called several florists only to find that there had been some specific blight--and a very high profile wedding had taken up all the remaining. There were no hydrangeas to be found today, not for any amount of money. One florist apologetically told him she could have some in next week, but that was too late! Stede wasn’t going to be able to wait a week. He had barely survived one evening with Ed, wanting so badly to blurt out everything. But he owed the man romance goddamn it!
So, rather than purple hydrangeas, he gathered some purple and pink hyacinths, some blush and ivory colored roses. Some sprigs of lavender and blue lily-of-the-valley rounded out the colors and the greenery. It wasn’t what he had wanted but it was pretty. That would do.
He made a reservation for two at the fanciest French restaurant, Le pet épicé . Ed had mentioned once that he was pretty sure they wouldn’t ever even let him in the door, but he had said it with such a longing that Stede had known he wanted to take Ed there. Plus, it was fairly close to the shore, reasonable that they could walk to the beach afterwards. Granted, he had to wait for a long time on the phone, had to argue with them to get a table for tonight and had to grease the proverbial wheel to make it happen. The man on the phone stiffly reminded Stede of the dress code.
Which was something he had not planned for! Stede blew through his closet, but as soon as he saw it he knew it was perfect for Ed. The purple suit was a silken velvet blend, extremely luxe, in a royal purple. Stede had bought it for that alone, even if rich colors didn’t always agree with his complexion. But it would agree with Ed’s.
If Stede was going to be honest, he had bought it in part because of that. Because even if Ed never wore it--even if he never saw it!--then it at least Stede had it, so he could look at the fabric and think of Ed. This was an opportunity for Ed to wear it! Stede packed it into a garment back and focused on his own outfit.
The teal suit was one of his favorites. It was fitted to his chest and shoulders and he had it on Lucius’ authority that it made Stede look “like a snack.” His legs looked good in the hugging fabric and he felt good in this suit.
Right. Everything was as good as he could make it.
Stede felt anxious as he knocked on Ed’s door, a feeling he’d never really had before. Coming to Ed’s had always felt comforting but part of his brain was so worried that Ed hadn’t meant a word he’d said, that it had been just the intoxication talking.
Ed was slow to answer. He was wearing the same banyan-and-boxers duo that had nearly killed Stede the night before, and he was yawning as he answered. “Stede!” He looked so genuinely happy to see Stede, who was hiding the flowers. “Hey man! S’good to see you.”
“Hi Ed,” Stede smiled. “Did you have plans for tonight?”
Ed huffed a small laugh. “Yeah man, just about to order a pizza and watch the whole run of Blown Away. You’re welcome to join me, if you like.”
Shit. He hadn’t considered Ed not wanting to go out tonight! No, he could still fix this! “Actually I had thought we might have a fun night out? To…celebrate?” he knew his tone was pleading and he couldn’t help it.
Ed looked surprised at that and smiled tentatively. “Oh. Um, yea sure. Not sure I look like I’d fit alongside you lookin like that, mate.”
Stede beamed, “I brought a suit for you that I’d love to see you in! It’s not mandatory of course. I just thought you might…” shit was this too much? Too fast? Too pushy?
“Yeah,” Ed managed, through a choked voice. “Yeah, um, I need a quick shower?”
“Of course! I’ll bring it in for you!” It wasn’t until Ed went down the hall to the bedroom that Stede realized he still had the flowers! He heard the pipes groan as Ed turned on the shower, so it wasn’t wise to interrupt him. Stede went to lay the suit on the bed. He went back to set the bouquet in the vase he had also brought.
He waited somewhat impatiently as the shower ran, and then shut off. It took another ten minutes before Ed’s voice called “Hey mate, this shit seems like, way too fancy for me.”
“Nonsense!” There was a long pause and then Stede sighed. “If you want, Edward, you don’t have to wear anything specific. I just thought you’d like to try it. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to wear it anywhere, Edward.”
Again, a long pause and then Ed’s voice, soft and tentative, “It does look good.”
“Come show me,” Stede demanded playfully, grabbing the flowers. He could present Ed with them when Ed came out! Honestly it might have worked out better!
Ed walked out, and Stede’s breath vanished. Stede had expected Ed to be stunning but good god. The fabric clung to his body in a way that made Stede desperate to emulate. He wore a black button up under the jacket, but left it open a nearly obscene number of buttons, enough to show off the planes of his gorgeous collarbones and wisps of his chest hair that made Stede salivate. His hair was swept up in some kind of updo and tendrils flowed down on either side of his face.
His beauty was devastating.
Stede was so shocked that his fingers went limp around the flowers and they clattered to the floor. He heard the vase break and that shocked Stede out of his frozen shock. “Oh shit !”
Ed froze and then laughed, a soft warm sound. “I’ll get a broom, mate. One moment.”
Stede didn’t hesitate to kneel down (carefully!) and started to pick up the blooms. He was careful to make sure there were no bits of glass in the flowers. He bit his lip to swallow his frustration. This was salvageable! He’d bought the vase because he believed Ed likely didn’t own one (and he wanted them presented in the pretty blue willow pattern!). As he was getting the last of the flowers, Ed came to help clean the glass pieces. They worked in quiet tandem, Stede silently berating himself for his fumbling fingers that ruined a possible moment .
Once it was done, he rose, all but shoving the flowers at Ed. “I thought…you might…”
Ed took the flowers, hands closing over Stede’s. “Thank you. They’re beautiful.”
Not nearly as beautiful as you , Stede wanted to say. Instead his stupid mouth opened and “They’re wrong. Not the hydrangeas I wanted.”
“Oh,” Ed breathed, and his smile was sweet but also…pained? “They’re beautiful anyway. Here.” He picked a sprig of lavender and broke the stem with his thumb before sliding it into the buttonhole on Stede’s suit.
Stede reached to the flowers, slowly, watching for permission. When Ed nodded softly, Stede took one of the blue flowers, slipping it into Ed’s buttonhole as well. “There,” he whispered. “Now we compliment each other.”
Ed cocked his head, smiling. “We do.” They stayed there in a quiet moment and then he smiled wider, “I got a big glass, even if it’s not as good as the vase.” The flowers still looked beautiful, at least. “They’re very pretty, Stede,” Ed assured him as he set them on the bar in the kitchen. “Thank you.”
“I hoped…I wanted…I’m glad,” he finished lamely. He wished he could have said what he wanted, that he had wanted flowers a fraction as beautiful as Ed, that he had wanted to do something to brighten Ed’s home, to brighten his life! But the words failed him.
“Thank you,” Ed said again, warm and sincere. He took Ed’s hand and said, “Well? Where are we going tonight, mate?”
That prompted Stede to check the time and they would have to hustle! Ed was smiling as they slid into Stede’s car. They made soft small talk, the kind of thing that Stede found comforting. There was no expectation in it, no worries, just sweet warmth. He saw Ed’s hand lingering on the console between their seats and goddamn it but Stede wanted to take those fingers in his, fold them into his hand. He wanted to have the freedom to hold his hand!
Patience , he consoled himself, we show him the date of his dreams. He deserves that. Then I’ll tell him I have feelings for him and we’ll kiss on the beach under the stars and then I’ll be able to be as affectionate with him as I want…well, assuming he’ll tolerate me.
When he pulled up to the fancy French bistro, Ed’s eyebrows went into his hairline. “ Le pet épicé ? Oh la la,” he teased a bit. “Fancy, isn’t it?”
“Only the best,” Stede managed to reply, and once the words were out he felt himself burst into an intense blush. “Come on!” He offered Ed his elbow once they were heading towards the door. Ed smiled, tucking his fingers into Stede’s elbow. About time we get this date back on track , Stede thought to himself, not daring to voice it out loud.
Except when they got into the host stand. The woman there sniffed when she saw them, but Stede knew for a fact that they were both well within the dress code. When she sniffed at Ed’s very open collar, Stede all but growled. He would not hesitate to throw her out the nearest window if she made any negative comment towards the gorgeous man. “Name,” she said instead, her tone just this side of insolent.
Well, if there was one thing Stede Bonnet knew how to do it was passive aggression. “Oh so lovely of you to notice us,” he snarked. “We have a party for two, under the name Stede Bonnet.”
The woman--Antoinette, based on her name tag--flipped through a booklet in front of her, but Stede could see how ingenuine it was. “I don’t see any reservation and we have nothing available until the end of June.”
Absolutely not . “I made the appointment with you directly, Antoinette,” Stede replied tightly. “If you require help, I can pull up my virtual assistant,” he lied smoothly. “It records exactly what was agreed to.”
Did she go whiter at that? It was hard to tell behind her poorly matched foundation, several shades too pale for her sin. “Oh, Bonnet ,” she laughed fakely. “I see it right here. Party of two. Yes. Right this way,” she added another look at Ed’s outfit but then led them through the restaurant.
Their table was near the bathrooms, but for all that it was quiet and rather romantic. Stede hoped that was a blush he’d spotted on Ed’s cheeks as he delivered him gallantly to his chair, even offering to push it in for him. Indeed, when he sat he saw Ed’s eyes were glowing--but then again, when weren’t the man’s eyes glowing and gorgeous?
Their conversation might have been awkward or stilted for the situation, but with Ed everything was always just so easy! He had asked about the cocoon Stede had found and Stede spent several minutes regaling him with the stories from his garden. With a single pout Ed elicited a promise that Stede would call the moment there was any movement in the cocoon. Ed surprised him by suggesting a camera and they were well into the discussion of trail cams or simple web cameras--so Ed could check remotely--when plates were placed in front of them.
Stede’s salmon looked fine but Ed was immediately queasy at his plate. “Is…is this…?”
“It looks like octopus,” Stede said, sliding the plate away from a thankful Ed. That was not the coq a vin Ed had ordered. Of all the things they could have slid in front of the man, octopus was among the worst. Ed adored octopuses--alive--for their clever nature. He insisted that after mankind killed themselves off, the octopodes would be the next to take over, which was one of the first times Stede could remember them having a long in depth discussion over what might appear to be ‘nothing.’
“Excuse me,” Stede signaled the waiter (who certainly had the Snooty French bit down). “This is not what my companion ordered.”
“Oui oui Monseigneur, I have it right here. The gentleman ordered the la pouple a la nicoise .”
Ed looked ready to vomit. Stede tersely shoved the plate into the man’s hands, letting go. If it dropped, that wasn’t his damned problem. “He most certainly did not. The gentleman is allergic to octopus.”
“Then I suggest he should not have ordered it,” the man sneered.
Stede sat back in his chair, a cold calm overcoming him. “Bring me your manager.”
“I am the manager,” the man sneered. “And I am not responsible if this…gentleman…is not aware of what he is ordering. Perhaps he should keep to his kind if that’s what he wants.”
Stede felt like he had been slapped, but the worst part was glancing at Ed. The usually bold, funny man looked…squashed. Sad. “Let's just go, Stede,” he whispered.
“In a moment, love,” Stede was too full of how he wanted to tear this man and his establishment to shreds to consider the endearment he used. “First of all. This is comfortably not what he ordered. If you cannot tell the difference between la pouple a la nicoise and coq a vin, you have no business being in business.” Stede raised his voice deliberately, ensuring he got the attention of numerous other diners. “Second, this isn' t even la pouple a la nicoise. If you spoke a lick of French, you would know that would be niçoise salad with octopus, while this is clearly a tempura battered and fried octopus--not a French method.” A tentative glance showed that the diners around them had almost all turned to watch the drama unfold--and no few with phones out no doubt recording. Good.
“How absurd!” The man’s French accent was increasingly comical, to the point that Stede had heard better accuracy from cartoon skunks. “To say that I am not French!”
“Third, I am extremely certain you are not French, given no true speaker of the language would name their restaurant so crassly.” At the man’s sputter, he sneered, loud “Or did you not mean to call your restaurant Le pet épicé?”
“Oui, that is the name,” the man sniffed.
“So you intended to call your business The Spicy Fart ?”
The man paled and then went red as other diners nearby tittered and gasped. “That is inane!”
“Or did your companion out front give you the name?”
He seemed to latch on to this, “Yes, yes, my wife! Antoinette!” As if hearing her name summoned her, the snooty woman from the maitre d stand came by. “She is the one who advised on the name! I had no idea,” he insisted.
“I should assume you were quite aware she is no more French than you,” Stede sniffed. “Considering that you clearly met…at birth.”
“No!” the man tried to deny it but the whispers had turned deafeningly loud in comparison as people started to notice their similarities that could only paint them as siblings.
“Now then. If you will excuse us. I have no desire to remain in this fartlounge any longer. Edward?” he offered Ed an arm and Ed, dazed, took it. Stede deliberately did not pay for their meals or wine--the restaurant could burn for all he cared!--and he stormed out, Ed on his arm.
Once they were outside, Ed stared at him. “What the fuck, mate? When you cut lose you really cut loose!”
Stede sniffed as he opened the car door for Ed. “They were rude to you. They had it coming.”
When he got in the driver’s side himself, it was to see Ed looking at him with a curious measured glance. “So. Still hungry, then?”
Stede sighed. “Famished. Roach’s?”
Ed’s smile was soft and sweet. “Sounds fab.” The car ride was surprisingly quiet for a few minutes, until Ed’s voice piped up. “Mate. I gotta ask. The Spicy Fart?”
“It’s what the name translated to,” Stede said with a chuckle.
“You were going to take me to a place called the spicy fart?” Ed giggled.
Stede tried to smother his own laughter. “I didn’t know why they called it that! The reviews were very complimentary!”
“Yea cuz they were written before they burned their assholes I guess,” Ed cackled. “And then you called it a fart lounge .”
Stede flushed. “I did, didn’t I? Well, it was full of assholes.”
The two of them were shaking with laughter by the time they pulled up to Roach’s Diner. They were drastically overdressed, but when Roach saw them he barely batted an eye. “Is this what the kids are wearing these days?” he teased warmly. “I like it.”
“We’re fashion icons mate, don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ed insisted, this time taking Stede’s hand in his elbow and leading them back to their favorite table.
This meal passed much more pleasantly. Roach joined them for a bit, only to offer them wine which wasn’t on the menu. If it tasted unpleasantly like boxed wine--and like boxed wine Roach was trying to age to save on vinegar--Stede didn’t comment. The capped off the much more pleasant meal with his famous forty orange cake (although Stede still thought it could use a little more zest), and a small combat ensued with forks over the slice. Stede speared the piece himself, over Ed’s pout, and then he raised his fork and offered the bite to Ed instead.
Ed froze. It was long enough for Stede to question himself. Was this too weird? He had eaten off this fork , my god it was so forward!
And then Ed opened his mouth, leaned in, and delicately slid the piece of cake off the fork, his tongue almost obscene as it licked the remaining frosting off. “Mm. Delicious.”
“Yes well,” Stede was flushed, he knew it and he tended to be stupid when he was flushed. “I hadn’t meant you to have such a bad time at the other restaurant, so…”
“I’m having a great time here with you,” Ed said as he folded his hand over Stede’s. And oh. Oh that was lovely.
Roach interrupted as he slid Stede his card and receipt, clearly sorry to break the spell. Still, Stede took it as an opportunity. “Um, would you like to go for a walk? Maybe digest this a bit down by the beach?”
Ed’s eyes were so damned pretty, luminous and gorgeous, limpid and pretty even in the harsher light of the diner. “I’d love that.”
This time, rather than slide his fingers into Stede’s arm, Ed deliberately dropped them, taking Stede’s hand and interlocking their fingers.
Stede was sure they chatted a bit as they walked the block and change to the beach, but his brain cells were too focused on Ed’s skin --the soft and the calluses and the warmth, god the man was a furnace, and it felt so good to be holding his hand. Stede had been missing out his entire life, if holding a man’s hand was supposed to feel this right and perfect and warm an just pleasant.
Ok, Stede. One step left to go. You take his hands on the beach and tell him that you’re in love with him. That’s all .
As he slowed and reached for Edward’s other hand, a sound surprised him. Stede had just long enough to look around and then glance up in curiosity before…
…torrents of rain poured down on them, as if someone had turned on a faucet on full blast. Ed made a cute squawking sound of surprise as Stede was frozen for a moment. Then, almost against, his will, he started crying. Which might have hidden well in the rain but that didn’t cover his dumb mouth. “God damn it! God damn everything! This night, I swear, can one bloody thing go right? ”
Ed froze, hesitating. “Stede?”
“I’m sorry, Edward,” he sighed. “I wanted tonight to go well! And every single thing has gone wrong! There wasn’t a damned hydrangea to be found for love or money unless I was willing to wait weeks and I was certain I’d burst before then. Then I dropped them anyway and ruined the lovely vase! The fanciest restaurant was full of racist arseholes who hurt you! Then we can’t even manage a simple walk on the beach because I didn’t think to check the bloody weather first! I have ruined everything tonight .”
“S’just one night, mate,” Ed said, cocking his head. “Why does it matter so much?”
“Because it was for you! Because it needed to be perfect for you,” he finished almost lamely. “Because I wanted you to have that perfect date so…so I could tell you…” he shrank into himself, terrified of his stupid mouth and the corner it had written him into. He could easily have found another time! He could have waited and done a better job--cooked him a gourmet meal (ok, fine, paid Roach to do it), planned music or better flowers, candlelight, something! Instead here he was after failing miserably and Edward was staring at him like that.
“What were you going to tell me, Stede?” Ed’s voice was careful and precise. “I think you should tell me.”
Stede whined, “No, please, Edward, this date was so bad--”
But that was enough. Ed was grinning triumphantly. “So it was a date, huh?” He shimmied his shoulders in the rain, pulling closer to Stede. “I think…you should tell me, mate. Please?”
And Stede was as ever helpless for this man. “I…I like you very much, Edward.” The man’s eyebrows cocked. That was it, but it was enough for Stede to utterly cave. “In fact I love you. I’ve been in love with you for…since I met you, honestly? Even if I didn’t know that’s what it was yet? I knew that you made me so damned happy, that being with you, even if all we did was breathe the same air, it felt perfect. It felt right in a way no other person has ever felt even remotely. I am in love with you, Edward. And I thought, after you…kinda admitted to maybe some feelings…with the ketamine? That I would give you the perfect date, so you’d know I meant it and then if…if it had just been the ketamine…” that thought was honestly just occurring to Stede and oh god what if it had just been a hallucination brought on by the drugs? What if Ed never loved him anyway? Was it too awkward to laugh and call it a joke? How was he going to dig himself out--
Ed kissed him.
The soft warm, firm, sweet and warm lips pressed against his and it was like sparks went off behind his eyes. It was blissful. It was perfect . Stede reached for him, grabbing one arm behind his head and the other cradling Ed’s face as he kissed him . Ed had an arm around Stede’s waist and another hooking behind his neck, hauling him close any time Stede started to give the least bit of distance.
“I love you too,” Ed whispered against Stede’s lips. “And I want to kiss you a lot more and talk and shit but maybe not here?”
“Oh!” Stede had felt so warm with the kisses he hadn’t realized they were both soaked through and likely to get hypothermia at this rate! “To the car!” he held Ed’s hand, and laughed as they ran over the dunes. When Ed stumbled, Stede simply swept him up in a bridal carry and managed (a little awkwardly) to carry the man to the car. He deposited Ed on the ground, since he wasn’t able to open the damn door with his arms full, but that had the effect of Ed grabbing Stede by the collar and kissing him hard and fiercely. “A moment, love,” Stede promised as he pulled away. He popped the trunk and quickly found what he needed among his cold weather kit. As he slid back in the car he handed Ed a soft blanket that he tucked around the man’s legs. He took the rougher towel for himself, draping it over his shoulders as he tried to dry the worst of it in his face. The seats were already a lost cause and Stede was adding ‘detailing the car’ to his mental reminder list when Ed grabbed him by the ends of the towel and hauled him close enough to kiss.
“Stede fucking Bonnet,” he said warmly. “Goddamn. You know how to show a guy a good time.”
Stede giggled. “Wait til I get you home, then.”
Before Stede could panic about if that was too forward, even if he didn’t mean it like that , Ed chuckled, a deeper low, teasing laugh. “Yes please.”