Work Text:
"So...how many of those gummies is a serving then?"
Stede stared at Ed in surprise. "Half. Half of one. How many did you eat, Ed?"
He shrugged, "Only like three! Fuck, they're gummy bears, Stede. I love gummy bears!"
Stede hadn't expected this when he had agreed to sit with Ed using pot for the first time. Ed's chronic pain was "low level shitty", by his own parlance, but he had been afraid to do much about it thanks to a dad who was addicted to meth and a mom who had turned to booze to cope. So he had tentatively asked if Stede, who had a long history of medicinal use thanks to his anxiety, would help him out. Of course Stede had agreed, and happily so!
Except he’d stepped away to go to the restroom If only he had policed Ed better rather than going to the restroom. If only he’d gone with something other than gummy candies, which Ed would eat an entire bag of without thinking.
"You are about to be very stoned."
Stede was a genius. He could tell the future. Which Ed knew because Stede had left him a big thing of water, but with a big curly straw so Ed didn't even have to lift his head! And he'd brought snacks! A whole char...shar...sharkie board. He had left Ed, but a nice bloke was hanging around still. "Oh my god," Ed sighed, spooning another bit of orange goop on a cracker. "This is damn good marmalade! It's so good!" He shoved the cracker in his mouth and reached for a slice of meat. "Mate, lunchables are just like, basic sharkie boards! They should be fishables."
"I never had them," his companion admits warmly. "But I've heard good things from others’ nostalgia."
"Fuck, I'd buy like ten of em for 2 bucks cuz they were about to expire? And then I'd eat em for lunch every day when I was in school. Free meal at the restaurant got me thru dinner." He did not miss days of eating slightly funny smelling ham. "Aw this shit is good though. Did Stede do this?"
His companion chuckled warmly and brushed away that annoying lock of hair that was bothering Ed. "He did indeed.”
"Aw man, Stede is the best . D’you know stede, blondie?" He didn't wait for an answer. "He's my favorite person in the whole world. And I've met some famous people! Wrote once for Beyonce and for the...the fast girl whats her name. Don't remember. But cuz music stuff." He laughed, "Everybody likes a Blackbeard love song right?"
"They're very popular," Blondie agreed. Fuck, Ed kinda wanted to listen to some Blondie…
Ed ate another cracker with cheese. "Can I tell you a secret, blondie? The song’s about Stede. Shhhh," he giggled.
The blonde reached for his drink, which was in a teacup, like the ones Stede loved. Silly maniac, he insisted tea tasted better from his fancy cups and not a mug. And he wasn’t wrong! "Which one?" Blondie asked, just a bit too loud.
"Shh. All of em! Every love song I ever wrote. They're all about Stede." He felt himself start to cry. "It's so stupid. I've been in love with him for like forever. He's so good! He's sweet and funny and a lil bitchy but I like it. And he's always so kind. It's like...he sees me and instead of all 'omg Blackbeard,'” he mimicked a silly voice, "he’s like ‘oh hey Ed.’ Like he sees Ed . And then he’s so fuckin GOOD to me. He makes Ed feel happy. I don't think I ever knew what happiness was until I found him. Even the songs I wrote before him, they're all ‘bout him now. They were the minute I looked into his eyes."
"You must really care about him?" The man's voice was a soft sing song lilt. Ed wondered what key it was in.
"I do! I love him so much! But we're just friends. And he's my best friend in the world! Would never wanna lose him. Rather cut off my toes." Ed sipped a long drag on his water. "I mean, the guy knew the future! He knew I'd be thirsty!
"I think he knew you'd be high."
Ed might have had a reply but then he looked at the sharks board and saw the tasty orange gloop was gone. "Aww nooo," he started to sob. "The orange slime! Someone ate his son!"
His blonde friend patted his back and made soothing noises. "Did you want the marmalade or did you want the pizzas?” Aw that’s right. Stede had offered him pizza. Was that where he’d gone?
Ed sniffled, leaning into blondie. "Nah, wanna go to bed. Will Stede be there? I like it when he holds me. ‘S the best thing in the world when he holds me."
They got Ed on his feet and to the bedroom. Brushing his teeth was a confusing mystery until his friend prompted him to skip it. He managed to pee on his own and stripped to his boxers. "Stede has the softest silk pj's, mate. Where are they?"
The blonde helped Ed find his favorite pair--he always slept better in the purple. Ed crawled into his side of the bed and a few minutes later a familiar warm body slid in the other side moving to be the big spoon to Ed's little. "Stede," he sighed, soothed. "Missed you."
"Shh," Stede’s soft voice admonished. "Go to sleep Edward. I'm here." And wrapped in Stede’s embrace, Ed did.
The next morning Ed felt...almost hungover? Not quite the same as too much booze (a very rare occurrence) but the thick head and dry mouth and eyes was reminiscent of one. There was no crippling headache or nausea at least.
He went to the bathroom scrubbing out his gross tasting mouth and washing his face and drinking the tap damn near dry. When he finally braved the world, it was to see Stede flipping the last pancake onto a plate. "You live! Come on, let's have brekkie."
"I sorta remember doing something stupid..." Ed tentatively asked as he took his customary seat.
"Well at one point you seemed to forget who I was and started calling me blondie," stede offered with a wicked grin. "You called Taylor swift "the fast girl." They both laughed over that. "And then you started telling me all about this bloke Stede and how you fancy him."
Ed went neon red. "What."
"Yep " stede swayed closer. "Told me all about how you had been in love with him forever, how happy he makes you, how much you love him. That all your songs are about him." Stede leaned down and dropped a soft tentative brush of his lips on Ed's. And it was such a kiss. Sweet and tender and so lovely. "I didn't have the heart to tell you Stede was married."
"Mmhm, did you break it to me that Stede was married to me?"
"Seemed a bad idea to blow your mind so completely, love. But it was very sweet to hear how you feel about me," Stede giggled.
Ed laughed, bringing Stede close enough to kiss him again. This kiss was deep and thorough and left them both gasping for breath. “I’ll happily tell you every day. I love you. Love the pants offa you.”
Stede laughed, and Ed got to push away that silly little lock of hair that was forever falling in Stede’s face. “And I love you too. Pants or no,” he winked. “Come on. Let’s have pancakes.”
Yeah. Ed was living the dream.