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Summary
“C’mon, fuck me.”
“You can barely keep your eyes open.”
“I’m awake. Wide awake. I just need you inside me… please.”
At the end of a long day of restoring the inn, Ed battles between his need to be fucked and his need for sleep.
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Stede’s on the sofa, bag of frozen peas wrapped in a dish towel placed on his ankle, cold half drunk cup of tea and macaron-less plate on the coffee table, used tissues scattered everywhere. He wants to cry at how pathetic the scene looks, how pathetic he is, but he holds it together. He’s not going to cry over something so minor. It’s his own stupid fault he’s in this situation anyway.
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Whumptober, Day 12, "Sick while injured".
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It’s the village’s 308th annual cheese roll and fair and the rules are simple: catch the cheese to win Blackbeard’s heart.
Village newbie Stede has been rapidly falling in love with Ed, the local cheesemonger of Blackbeard’s Cheeses and Nibbles and other Delicacies and Delights (and Wines), for weeks now. There is only one problem, he needs to win the race down an extremely steep hill in order to win Ed’s heart before he breaks his own (and possibly some bones in the process).
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Inspired by Cooper's Hill Cheese-Rolling and Wake and featuring cheese puns, cheese chasing, cheese jokes, cheese eating, cheese loving and more cheese.
For Day 10 "Cheesemonger" prompt of Our Flag Means Death AUgust 2025
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Summary
“Left a smudge. Just a tad to your right. Maybe slightly up. Too far”, Stede gave an exasperated sigh, “Don’t you own one of those fancy laser level things? Why ain’t we using that?”
“It’s not in keeping with the spirit of it.”
“But it’s not straight!”
“That’s kind of the whole point.”
Featuring questionable DIY methods, late night conversations, becoming a middle-aged James Dean and Pride Flags.
Written for OFMDAUpril prompt 'Flags'.
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Summary
They say never meet your heroes, but what about the man whose voice you’ve been wanking off to to fall asleep each night. Do the same rules apply?
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Ed can't sleep. Luckily for him, he has an audiobook narrated by Stede Bonnet to keep him company.
Meanwhile, Stede also can’t sleep. Luckily for him, he has the Shipping Forecast read by one Edward Teach to keep him company.
What happens when these two meet at an awards ceremony?

