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Chapter Text

There’s a part of Vex’ahlia that died with Percy on Glintshore. 

She had held his body, still warm either from his fresh death or the fires that roared to life around them, and begged him to come back. He didn’t, too far gone to hear her. 

A part of her left with him. 

Now, watching as his too-thin chest rose and fell with shallow breaths, she wondered if it would always be gone, even with him back. 

Pike hovered over him, casting some spell to make sure everything was working as it should, and Vex held his still-cold hand while Percy slept. Cassandra stood near the corner of the bed, as if she were afraid to get too close, to interrupt and hurt the spell or her brother’s sleep. 

She had helped bathe the stench of death off his fragile skin with Cassandra, the women doing so with a near reverence for the person brought back to them. Pike had been there too, in case something went wrong and the delicate life he carried now was snuffed out. She had helped redress him in light sleep clothes, and piled blankets over him  as the man began to shiver with the chill of death. 

Pike’s glowing hand flickered out as she breathed, a soft smile on her face. “His body’s okay.” 

Vex let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. “Good.” 

Cassandra moved closer, her hand tentative as she put it on her brother’s blanket-covered foot. “So, he’ll live?” it was spoken in a way that didn’t allow for much emotion. 

Vex’s heart ached for the young de Rolo, she had been composed during the funeral, and then not a soul saw her for days. It wasn’t until after the defeat of Thordak and the fall of Raishan that Cassandra had spoken to Vox Machina again outside battle strategy sessions. 

It had been to ask about Percy’s death, about how it happened.

It had hurt then, and still did, that they only knew the basics. Ripley had set a trap that had been tripped ( My fault , Vex wanted to say. It was my fault ). That Percy was taken and clearly fought like hell, that he had destroyed the facility on his own, that he had killed many of the mercenaries. That he had held his own until the end. 

That they found him after, a bullet lodged in his lung and Ripley nowhere to be found. 

Cassandra had cried then, not obviously, but tears were shed.

Then Vax had told them all that Percy could be saved . 

The idea had not been easy to swallow, there were layers to it. That Vex’s heart had been ripped from her and there was the tiniest sliver of hope that it could be returned. That it may not work. That Percy was unable to rest in death, being tormented by the demon that had haunted him for years in whatever Hell it created. That he could come home. 

Of course they had to try, of course they needed to take the chance, even if it just meant freeing him from eternal suffering, that would be victory enough. 

But he was here, breathing raspily on his bed. His face was pale and ashen, his usually warm hands were cool and his body had atrophied considerably. But he was here. He was home. 

“He’ll live,” Pike promised. “It’s going to be hard, and he’s going to have to rebuild a lot of his strength, but he’s alive.” the gnome crossed the room and pressed her hand over Cassandra’s free one. “He’s alive.” 

The young woman sniffed, and nodded, the white streak of hair falling in her face. She wiped at her eyes and took in a slow breath. “Okay. He’s okay.” 

“I’m not alone” remained unspoken. 

Pike squeezed her hand. “He’s okay.” 

Part of Vex wanted to argue. Wanted to say he wasn’t, that he hadn’t been able to really move, that he had passed out as soon as they got him back, that he was sickly and weak and he hated feeling like that. 

She held her tongue, and watched his breathing. 

“I need to inform Keeper Yennen that it worked,” Cassandra said, her voice taking on an edge that meant she likely wanted to be alone. “I- I must go.” 

Vex nodded and Pike patted her hand. “Go on, he’ll be here.” 

Cassandra made a soft, pained noise and hurried away and out of the room. Vex sometimes forgot how young she was, barely cresting nineteen now, right? She was too young to rule a city, too young to see her brother’s bloody corpse, too young to lose everything twice over. 

Vex and Pike sat in silence for a while, simply watching. 

“Are you doing okay?” Pike asked after a few minutes passed. 

Vex huffed and rubbed a hand over the quilt on the bed. “I-,” Vex bit her lip, choking on the words. 

He was back. She loved him, and he was back . She had walked away from him and he’d died. Her brother risked his soul to give a man he once hated a chance at peace, for her. 

“I should be,” Vex eventually settled on. “I really, really should be.” 

Pike hopped onto the bed, sitting near Percy’s feet and the man barely twitched. He was in the sleep of the recently not-dead, one that Vex knew well enough. Sometimes she thought about it, not so much the death itself, but the aftermath. The weakness in her body, the dizziness of blood flowing through her brain again. The sleep after that felt like she’d simply stopped existing. She’d been so exhausted afterwards. 

She’d only been dead for a few minutes, what was it like to be dead for weeks? 

His head twitched, gaunt cheekbone hitting the pillow as his brow furrowed weakly. Vex reached out to hold his hand, gently brushing her thumb across scars. 

What was it like to be dead and tormented by a demon and then return to a shell of your former self? 

“I think that’s how we all feel,” Pike sighed, her small hand twisting the quilt. “It’s- I’m so happy he’s back, but it doesn’t feel real. He’s got such a long way to go before-.” 

Before he can adventure with us, before he can lead Whitestone, before he can be who he was, if he ever will be again.  

“Yeah,” Vex agreed. “It doesn’t feel real.” 

Pike’s expression was grim. “I can’t stop thinking about how Vax looked, when it was happening.” 

Vex shivered, willing warmth into Percy’s hand. Her brother had looked so distressed, like he was in pain during the ritual. He’d said he was fine after, but the way he’d writhed on the ground, struggling to fight the demon, it scared her. 

She didn’t want to lose him either.

“I’m glad he’s okay,” Pike continued, glancing at Vex. “I’m sure he’s worried about you.”

Vex looked at Pike. “He should be resting. He’s as exhausted as Percy after it all.” 

“So are you,” Pike prodded Vex’s shoulder. “You haven’t been sleeping, not since Glintshore.” 

Vex closed her eyes, images of her mother’s decaying face and Percy being consumed by flames danced in her mind. I don’t want to sleep alone. She didn’t want to say it. I don’t want to forget having him near me. 

“It’s been hard,” Vex said instead. “With the dragons, to really relax.” 

“But they’re dead now,” Pike insisted. “ She’s dead now, and we’re all okay, we’re all alive.” 

Vex felt her eyes welling with tears. But what if I wake up and he’s gone again, or Vax is gone or-. “I know.” 

“You should sleep.”

“I know.” 

Pike sighed and leaned on the bed. “I’m spent,” she giggled a little. “Revivals are tough work.” 

Vex forced a laugh. “I’m sure.” She looked at her friend, so small yet so powerful. “Thank you.” 

Pike blinked and waved a hand. “If it wasn’t me, we would have found someone. We were not going to leave him there.” In the gun. With the demon. Alone.  

Years ago, Vex wouldn’t have given the prisoner in a cell another thought, but now, holding his slow-warming hand, she couldn’t imagine leaving his side. 

“You should go to bed,” Vex said. “I’ll stay here, for a bit longer.” 

Pike frowned at her. “Only for a bit?” 

Vex nodded. “I just- I don’t want –,” the words clawed at her tongue. “I don’t want to sleep yet.” 

Pike’s frown didn’t fade, but she did nod, accepting. “Just take care of yourself, okay? Or I’ll send Grog in here to drag you to bed.” 

Vex laughed a little more genuinely at that. “Okay.” 

Pike patted her shoulder with all the tenderness the gnome could, and slipped off the bed. 

Vex just kneeled by the bed, her hand in his, and watched him breathe. 

Vax found her when she finally left the room to get a change of clothes. He’d followed her to her room in silence before she finally broke, twisting and clutching his shoulders, studying him to make sure he was okay. 

“Thank you,” she finally spoke. “ Thank you. ”

“I told you, Stubby,” he held her in a tight hug. “I’d do anything for your happiness.” 

“J-just don’t really give up your soul.” Vex swatted his arm as she returned the embrace. 

He chuckled and she felt him nod into her hair. “Let’s just not lose any more friends.” 

“Deal.” 

Vax pulled away, and studied her. “You look like shit.” 

She swatted his arm a little harder. “Asshole.” 

“No you do,” he smirked. “Did you sleep on the floor? C’mon.” 

Her twin pushed her to her bed, and rifled through the small vanity that had been left alone during the Briarwood’s rule, grabbing her hairbrush. 

Vex shifted to let him reach her hair and relaxed as Vax began to brush her hair. It was a ritual when they were on the road, taking care of each other, making sure they were okay. She swiped at her face, she missed it, she realized. It had faded after joining Vox Machina, and the others had become so important, but at the end of the day Vax was her twin brother. 

She wasn’t sure she could live without him. 

She drummed her fingers on the bed as he worked out knots and tangles, the two settling into an easy silence before she had to break it. 

“How are you?” she asked, watching her own fingers leave indents in the plush blanket. “After . . .” 

The brush stilled for a moment before picking up the rhythm again. “I’m okay,” Vax admitted. “Better now that everyone’s here.” 

“And alive,” Vex huffed. 

“And alive,” Vax agreed. 

Vex swallowed the questions on her tongue. What was it like? Did you hear any of us? What happened?  

“You’re thinking loudly,” Vax teased. 

“Just about how grateful I am,” Vex replied. “And I am.” 

“He’s my friend too. I don’t think any of us would have left him there.” Vax shuddered, a small motion that made Vex’s heart twist. “I couldn’t have.” 

“You hated him for a while.” The words fell from Vex’s mouth before she could stop it, and Vax’s brushing stilled again. 

She turned to look at him, and froze at the distraught expression on her brother's face. “Vax?” 

“I did,” Vax put the hairbrush down. “I hated him, but–.” he shook his head. “ You are here, and alive and-,” he huffed a laugh. “That asshole worked so hard after, to make up for it.” 

Vex remembered a warm coat, gentle assurances, an arrow that meant more than she ever thought it could. “He did.” 

“And- when you two,” Vax’s face shifted to more amusement than the complexity it was before. “Got together, I had to let it go. I can’t hate what makes you happy.” 

“Vax . . .” Vex’s throat constricted with emotion. 

“It’s true,” Vax divided her hair into three sections, the start of a simple braid. “You light up around him, and in Ank’harel-,” she could hear his eyes rolling. “Anyone could see how much you meant to each other.” 

Vex felt her face flush, but it was a welcome change to the burning in her eyes. 

“He’s my friend too anyway,” Vax whispered. “I couldn’t let him suffer.”

“What did-,” Vex’s fingers curled around the blanket. “What was it like?” 

Vax was quiet for a while, deft fingers braiding her long hair. “It was what you’d expect, I guess, for a type of hell.” His voice was soft, gentle. “I think Percy should tell you more about it, but it wasn’t good.”

Vex wasn’t sure what she expected from Orthax’s domain, it was a smoke demon that feasted on revenge, it was a heinous creature that was supposedly still out there and it had a vendetta against Percy, what wouldn’t it do to hurt him? 

“He’s here, Stubby,” Vax reminded her as he tied a bit of ribbon around the end of the braid. “He’s alive.” 

“Barely,” Vex breathed, fearful. 

“He’s alive ,” Vax wrapped his arms around her shoulders, drawing her into another hug. “And damn it all, if he dies again I’ll be there to drag him back, as many times as it takes.” 

Chapter Text

The whole party, and Gilmore and Cassandra were there when Percy woke up for the first time. They had been hanging out in his room, after dragging in more chairs and cushions to accommodate everyone. 

Grog was on the floor, playing go-fish with Scanlan and Cassandra, the young woman got along well with the two surprisingly, especially once she got to meet Kaylee, which made Scanlan happy. Grog, after everything in Whitestone, had taken to Percy more – which led to him trying to get to know Cassandra as the last living member of his blood family. Grog understood herds, and he wanted to know every part of his. 

Vex sat with Keyleth on the bed while Vax spoke with Gilmore, leaning against the wall while the mage was grinning at whatever story of misadventure Vax was telling. 

There was a shifting on the bed that sucked the air out of the room. Vex turned to see Percy’s eyes blink open as he drew in a ragged breath. 

“ Percy? ” Keyleth was the first to speak, but Vex was the first to launch to her feet and fling herself to his side of the bed, carefully left alone for his peace. 

“Percy!” Vex breathed, hands hovering, afraid to touch- afraid to hurt him as his green eyes searched her face. 

Pike was by her side in a moment, her healing hands raised and ready to alleviate pain, provide strength, whatever may be needed. Grog and Cassandra stood by her other side, and Cassandra reached out first, a hand gently laid on his raised shoulder. “Percival?” Her voice was full of a careful hope. 

None of them knew what happened to him between his abduction and breath being back in his lungs. His coy words and immediate collapse didn’t leave a lot of time for questions. Vax had the best idea and Vex was too scared to look at his face for signs of what to expect. 

His voice was cracked with disuse. “ Is this . . . another trick? ” 

Vex’s heart broke at the way he looked at his gathered family, and guarded himself against whatever hell he thought was waiting for him. 

“ No ,” Vex found her voice. “No, Percy.” 

“You’re home ,” Cassandra’s voice broke on the word. “You’re back.” 

“Remember,” Vax leaned forward, a hand on Keyleth’s back, and swallowed thickly. “We came to get you out. You do remember right?” 

Vex glanced at her brother, the faint note of fear in his voice did not go unnoticed. 

“ Ah ,” Percy’s weak voice hummed and his eyes drifted from face to face. “ Y-you’re all . . . Okay? ”

She felt like a knife had been twisted in the wound that was her heart. Trust him. Vex thought, tears clouding her vision. To ask about others right now and still think himself a bad man.

Cassandra huffed a wet laugh. “Yes, brother, we’re okay. Whitestone is safe.” 

His eyes were slipping closed again and he mumbled what sounded like a ‘good’ before slipping back into sleep, his chest rising and falling with faint wheezing breaths. 

“Damn,” Scanlan breathed, running a hand down his face. “Thought he’d be awake longer.” 

“I think that the fact he was coherent was a win,” Pike said, her hands a white light over Percy’s form. “He was gone for a long time, there could have been issues with readjustment.” 

Vex remembered that talk, before they set up the ritual Pike had told them about the fact that she’d have to rebuild his body from where it had decomposed . That he’d likely be weak and best case he’d be alright mentally, but worse case . . . 

There was no way to come back from the dead unscathed, and Vex had held no expectations for what happened when he got back, so long as he was back . 

You do remember right? Vex looked to Vax who looked tense as he stood next to an emotional Keyleth. 

She didn’t know what that meant, what happened in Orthax’s domain remained beyond her knowledge. She just knew that it must have been horrible to cause the look that was on her brother’s face, the fear in his voice as he spoke. He wasn’t one to be afraid, not of demons, only when faced with losing someone did he fully show his cards. 

She wanted to ask, what did he know? What made him scared? 

Grog was the one to break the uncomfortable silence, a hand rubbing his bearded chin. “Why’d he think it was a trick?” He looked worriedly at Percy who’s own brow was pinched as he slept. 

The room went still, and eyes landed on Vax, the one with the most answers. 

It was Scanlan who redirected the focus. “No-he said another trick.”

Another. The word bounced around in Vex’s head. Another trick. Another. He’d been tricked before. Vex sat down heavily on the bed, where Cassandra leaned protectively over her brother. Another trick. She looked at Percy's face, tense as he twitched and was left to sleep. 

“Vax’ildan?” Cassandra’s voice was soft as she looked at the rogue. “Did-did you see what that demon was doing?” 

Vex knew that he didn’t want to come out and say it, but the question hung heavy in the air. It was a sister’s desperation asking now, it was Cassandra wanting to know what happened to her brother. 

Vex could still remember the moment under Castle Whitestone when she’d pushed the young girl to reach out to Percy as he’d been possessed. When the two of them had broken through whatever the demon was whispering in his ear long enough for him to wrestle back control and free himself. 

Percy didn’t talk about what happened then, as much as he didn’t talk about his time in the dungeons of the castle. But Vex remembered how he’d cried out for Cassandra, how the demon had hissed at him and held his arm in place, aimed at Lady Briarwood’s head. She remembered his scream as he shot his own hand. 

She traced his hand now, feeling the hole in his palm that never healed right. His fingers twitched reflexively as she did so and Vex pulled back. 

Cassandra had asked, she remembered. Cassandra had asked about the demon, afraid for her only living kin, afraid for how he was coping as they reforged a broken bond. Percy never told her, as far as Vex knew. Part of him, she thought, just couldn’t open up about it.

Percy didn’t like to be vulnerable, and that made it all the worse when she’d pushed him away at every turn. He’d opened his heart to her and she-.

Vex took in a shuddering breath. 

Is this another trick?  

“I-,” Vax looked to Cassandra, his hand moved to hold Keyleth’s. “I didn’t, I only saw-.” He broke off. 

“What?” Keyleth asked, her voice soft as she stood next to her sleeping friend. Gilmore was standing near the gathered group by now, arms crossed and expression heavy, no more jovial light, instead it was the exhausted weight of a sorcerer who’d been pushed to the limits for weeks. 

“What’d you see?” Scanlan finished the question as Pike and Grog looked at Vax. 

Vax rubbed his face, and Vex could see the slight shiver. “I saw him at a forge. He was working , just working . ” 

It was more than that, Vex could tell, and she wanted to shake the information out of him. “What was he working on?” 

Vax met her eyes. “The Pepperbox,” his voice was low. “His first one.” 

Pike frowned at the ground and Cassandra nearer to hover over her brother’s body, as if she could protect him from his own mind. 

Vex remembered the first one, the one the demon had helped him build, had given him the clarity to build. She remembered his attachment to it, not all his own will, she was sure. 

“You . . .” she hated to put her brother on the spot, but it was eating at her. “You asked if he remembered , Vax.” 

Vax paled slightly. “When I found him . . . He was-,” Vax shook his head. “He didn’t know who I was. I thought - I thought maybe I could get through to him, but-.” 

Pike laid a gentle hand on Vax’s leg. Keyleth leaned against his side but Vex couldn’t move. 

Vax sighed. “I called his name and he said he didn’t know who I was talking about . ” the words came out in a rush but they rattled around Vex’s ears. 

He didn’t know Vax, he didn’t know himself. She gripped the quilt again, trying to ground herself as she looked at Percy’s sleeping form. The demon, did it do that to him?  

Cassandra made a soft noise and nodded at Vax. “Thank you, for telling us.” 

Vax frowned but nodded in return. “I wish I could have done more.” 

“You brought him back,” Cassandra protested. “He remembered and-and you brought him back.” 

Vax glanced to Vex, and for once she couldn’t read what he was trying to tell her.

“It was all of us,” Vax looked at the sleeping man. “It was all of us.” 

The next time Percy woke, only Vex, Trinket and Vax were in the room. The twins each had their own reasons for staying, Vex wanted to make sure Percy remained alive, and the deep guilt thrashed in her chest as she imagined his last moments over and over again. Vax was determined to keep an eye on Vex, as well as Percy, worried for how the two were recovering after the turmoil of the last few weeks. 

Cassandra had left to speak with Keeper Yennen and Ladies Allura and Kima as they worked on repairs for the battered Whitestone. Gilmore was out in Emon overseeing some of the relief efforts for those who were displaced, leaving Vox Machina to wander around the castle, processing their own emotions as they helped where they could. 

Vex still couldn’t tear herself from Percy’s chambers, his rattling breaths and steady pulse were the only comfort she’d found as of late. 

He stirred and the half-elves were at his side in a moment, Vex’s heart pounding in her chest as Vax’s hand found her shoulder. 

“Percival?” Vax spoke softly as Percy twitched and his eyes blinked open. 

His green eyes scanned the room before landing on the twins. His lips twitched into a weak smile and Vex felt emotion well up in her chest. 

“ H-hello, ” Percy’s voice was a raspy whisper, but it was there, he was there. 

“Hi, Darling,” Vex grinned down at him, brushing his white hair out of his face. “How are you?” 

He huffed, maybe it was as much of a laugh as he could muster. “ I’m alive. ” He lifted a hand and it shook in the air before falling back to the bed. “ S-so inf-infitely better. ” 

Trinket snuffled at his hand, and Percy huffed a breath again as the bear brushed against his fragile skin. 

“He missed you,” Vax teased. 

“We all did,” Vex’s voice felt like it stuck in her throat. She had so much she wanted to say, to tell him but it was all still a fresh wound, aching and painful to touch. 

Percy nodded. “ Thank you . . . ” His eyes fell on Vax. “ For finding me. ” 

Vex could see the emotion in her brother’s eyes. “Any time, Percy,” he said in a soft voice. “Just don’t make a habit of it.” 

Percy had the strength to smile. “ I promise. ” 

Vex reached out and squeezed his hand, she couldn’t find the words to express how much it meant, to have this time with him again, to hear his voice. 

Vax’s hand brushed against her back as he stood. “I’ll tell the others that you’re awake, I’m sure they’re going to want to say hi.” 

He’s giving us time. Vex nodded at her brother, watching as Percy sunk into the pillows that propped him up to support his lungs as they relearned to breathe. 

Vax left the room, leaving Vex, Percy and Trinket together. 

“ Vex-, ” Percy’s voice was so weak and it made Vex’s heart twist to hear her name on his tongue. “ Vex’ahlia, are you-? ”

“ Don’t ask me that,” Vex cut him off, pressing his hand to her forehead, biting back tears. “I-I can’t believe you’re back.” 

She felt Percy’s fingers curl around hers, his grip was a barely-there thing, but it brought a sob up from her chest. 

“ I’m back, ” Percy assured her. “ I'm not going a-anywhere again. ” 

Vex sniffed, feeling Trinket bump his head against her leg as she moved to sit on the bed by Percy’s legs, still not letting go of his hand. I love you. She thought with as much ferocity as she could. I love you.  

“I love you.” The words fell from her mouth as she squeezed warmth into his hand. “I love you, Percy.” 

Percy blinked, his eyes widened for a moment before softening. “ I know. ” 

He knew. Vax’s voice echoed in Vex’s ears. “You did?” She hated how pitiful her tone was, but Percy had never judged her, had never held emotion against her. 

He nodded. “ Of course. ” He let out a shuddering breath, eyes slipping closed for a moment before he opened them again. “ I-I didn’t want-, ” He swallowed. “ To leave you. ” 

Vex bit back a choked sob. “I know, Darling. It wasn’t your fault.” 

It was Ripley’s . Vex had thought about her often since then, about what Percy had told them of her. A pawn of the Briarwoods, the worst person he’d ever known. 

He hadn’t told the group what she did, but he did tell Vex something one night, when they were together and she had traced one of the long, jagged scars across his chest. It was the bare minimum, a simple phrase. 

”I wasn’t equipped for torture.”  

Ripley’s obsession with Percy was sickening, and the fact that she’d done all she did to hurt him, just for her own ends, it made Vex wish she could go back and kill her again, only slower. 

Percy’s gaze grew distant, his hand shook in her grip and Vex squeezed a little tighter, drawing him back. “You’re safe.” 

Percy’s eyes flicked to their entwined hands and Vex felt him tighten his grip, before he looked back at her face. “ I love you, Vex’ahlia. ” 

The words, as weak and wispy as they were, made Vex’s heart soar. She still felt like that girl in her father’s study sometimes, wearing an heirloom that was not meant for her. Breaking things, making mistakes, making many many mistakes in the next few years. Even more later as she and her brother joined up with Keyleth, then Grog, Pike and Scanlan, then Percy. Vox Machina was built on mistakes, on learning and growing from them. 

She looked at the gaunt, pale man laying half-propped up on a bed, and felt his hand shake in hers and could no longer bring herself to think of any of it – of them – as a mistake. 

Chapter Text

Percy had been dead and buried. 

Percy’s soul had been battered and abused and forced to toil away for eternity. 

Percy was alive and breathing again. 

He watched as the strange, loving family he had stumbled his way into set up an impromptu picnic in his room. Grog had taken to building a sandwich that Percy knew would end up staining the floor by the time the goliath was done. Scanlan and Pike were discussing Scanlan’s newest song, something he wrote for Kaylee Percy was pretty sure. Keyleth had flung open the curtains in his room. ”You need sunlight, Percy” She had insisted, strongly enough that he didn’t mention the headache the light was giving him. 

Vax – Heat, guilt, shame, fear, Help me – was sitting with the druid, and Percy had definitely missed what changed between them as they laughed and ducked their heads together. 

It was a nice change though, they seemed happy. 

Vex hovered near him when she wasn’t flitting about the room, and Percy would be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate the care she was showing, but he knew there was something that weighed her down. He hoped, uselessly perhaps, that it wasn’t him. 

Cassandra sat on the edge of the bed Percy laid in, watching the goings on with an amused expression that made her look as young as Percy knew she was. 

You left her. You died and she mourned and you left her.  

The door to his chambers opened and Keeper Yennen stepped past the threshold, her grayed hair tied up as usual and her priest robes lightly dusted at the hem from where she’d likely been working in town.

“Percival,” she said, fondness coating her tone. 

He didn’t have a memory of her seeing him since his resurrection, he knew she’d visited from what the others told him, but he hadn’t been aware enough to remember. 

“Keeper Yennen,” he leaned on his elbows to try and sit up further, but the very motion made his weak muscles strain and he was forced to continue laying against the mound of pillows he’d been propped up with. “It’s lovely to see you.”

Yennen smiled softly. “I could say the same, Percival.” The holy woman moved over to the bed, hands clasped tightly together. “I hope you’re recovering well?” 

He nodded. “I am,” he assured her, flexing his fingers against the bedsheets, his hands still shook and his muscles were weak, but he was alive. He had to appreciate that. 

Shame. Fear. Guilt. The Forge.  

Percy blinked away the phantom smoke that crept up along the edges of his vision. 

“Good,” Yennen sighed, before resting a hand on his shoulder. “I never want to bury you again, Percival.” She looked at Cassandra. “Or any de Rolo, ever again.” 

Cassandra nodded, her throat bobbing with a swallowed emotion as Percy forced a soft grin. “Don’t worry, I’ve no intention of dying again.” He felt Cassandra’s hand on his and flipped it to squeeze hers as tight as he could. 

“We won’t let him anyway,” Grog called through a mouthful of bread. 

“Yeah,” Pike agreed. “He’s stuck with us.” 

Percy’s smile grew a little more fond. “Indeed.” 

Yennen returned the smile and patted his shoulder before drawing away. “I’m needed for my sermon, but I thought I’d let you know that rebuilding efforts are going smoothly thus far.” 

Percy felt a stab of guilt buried deep into his gut. Whitestone . 

You died. You couldn’t protect anyone. They were counting on you-

“That’s good to hear,” he said, ignoring how Cassandra’s hand squeezed a little tighter. “I’m thankful for all you’ve done, Yennen.” 

Keeper Yennen’s lips twitched and she took in a slow breath, nodding once. “Whitestone endures, Percival, and so will you.” 

His heart stung at the holy woman’s words, but he kept his smile up as Yennen made her farewells and left. 

He leaned back into the pillows as the chattering from the others rose up again. He needed to get better soon. He needed to get out there and help the city, help his sister with all that had rested on her shoulders so far. 

He knew the dragons were dead, he’d been told that as soon as he was lucid enough to understand what was happening, he knew that Ripley– Fear, hatred, guilt, pain, pain, pain, pain – was gone, buried at the bottom of the ocean. 

He knew their demons were laid to rest, but damn it all, he couldn’t get the feeling of constricting smoke out of his mind, out from under his skin. 

Vex was back by his side, and the heavy weight under her eyes only added to Percy’s feelings of guilt. Another person he left to mourn and grieve an unworthy man. 

My fault. His soul screamed. It was my fault.   

He couldn’t bring those thoughts up, though, not to her, not to any of them. Not to those who fought so hard to bring him back. She looked at him like he’d disappear again, and part of Percy wondered if he would too. If this was just an elaborate ruse to convince him that he was safe, that he was alive again, just for Orthax to rip it away like he had before–

Flashes of Vex, Keyleth, Grog, reaching out for him, chains digging into his skin, he couldn’t move- he couldn’t help them –  

“Percy?” Vex’s voice cut through the smoke. 

“Yes?” He looked up at Vex, her brow was knit together and another glass-shard of guilt stabbed his chest. 

“Did you want to eat?” 

He honestly didn’t, his stomach still growing used to functioning again and so far all he’d been able to keep down was broth and water, but if he wanted to get better he had to try. 

He was a de Rolo, he wasn’t about to give up so easily. 

After managing to stomach about half a bowl of soup, Percy was exhausted, his hands shaking as he watched Pike and Grog chug the wines they’d taken from the cellar, he didn’t have it in him to complain about them raiding his family’s home while he was dead. 

Scanlan was telling Cassandra about old adventures, her genuine interest was masked by a raised brow, but Percy knew she would have left the gnome if she wasn’t intrigued. 

Vax and Vex were talking in the corner of the room, and Keyleth sat on the bed beside him as he continued to force his eyes to remain open. 

He didn’t want to sleep. It felt not unlike when he’d been freed from prison by this group, half-mad with hunger and fear. He hadn’t been sure then that they weren’t an illusion conjured by a dying mind and part of him (Stronger than he’d liked) couldn’t be sure now. 

Keyleth’s hand was on his, warmth seeping back into his bones slowly, but surely. She looked different now, more sure of herself, like she’d finally grown into the antlered-circlet she wore. 

He remembered speaking to her in his workshop the night they were under house arrest, when he’d had a demon swimming in his mind, isolating him and cutting off his more positive emotions. He remembered how she’d reached out with empathy and compassion. 

He remembered, for a moment, it worked.

I think you’re damn worthy.  

She had proven herself, time and time again, hadn’t she? And they had dismissed her concerns. Another weight to carry. 

“You’ve changed,” Percy said eventually, never one to beat around the bush. “It was your Earth Trial that you completed, wasn’t it?” 

Keyleth blinked, a light blush on her face. “I-yeah, it was.” Percy felt her thumb rub against his hand as she bit her lip, and glanced at Vax. “It was . . . intense.” 

There was something else, something she didn’t want to say, and Percy didn’t have the energy to push right now. “You look good, Keyleth,” he decided. “It suits you.” 

“What does?” Keyleth looked amused and Percy’s head sunk back into the pillows. 

“Confidence,” he gestured vaguely with his free hand. “Happiness, I’m glad for you.” 

Keyleth’s eyes were wide and Percy almost winced at the tears he saw swimming in them. She leaned over, wrapping her arms around his shoulders in a hug that he hadn’t anticipated. 

“I’m so happy you’re back, Percy,” she spoke softly. “It wasn’t the same without you. It wasn’t right. ”

Percy did his best to use his shaking arms to hug back, and was reminded of the muscular atrophy he had suffered in death as his limbs burned with the effort of trying to squeeze Keyleth in return. 

“I’m happy to be here,” he murmured into her shoulder. 

“Ey! Group hug!” Grog cheered and something shattered on the ground as Percy’s bed was converged on by five other bodies, Cassandra’s snickers were easy enough to hear from the edge of the pile. The nobleman was left surrounded by two Gnomes, three Half-Elves and a Goliath that held them all together. 

“Do be gentle,” Cassandra warned, not unkindly. 

“He can take it,” Scanlan replied from where he’d stationed himself against Percy’s knee and leaned over Grog. 

Percy couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up from his chest, a strange, almost alien thing from him since the destruction of Whitestone. But there was something so nice about being surrounded by his loved ones that for just a little while the smoke cleared from his lungs.

Chapter Text

The factory was on fire. 

Vex could barely breathe through the smoke that clogged her senses. 

She had to find him. 

The explosion had spurred her and the others on as the ground rumbled beneath their feet. 

She turned a corner and—

Blood. 

Too much blood. 

Please- please—

He’s not moving.

Please-! 

Vex woke up with a start, heart pounding in her chest as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. 

She’d been asleep on the couch in Percy’s room, unable to leave after he’d fallen asleep during their ‘family dinner’ as Pike called it. He was awake and aware more often, but it was taking a lot out of him to heal and regain his strength. She didn’t begrudge him that, but it did ache fiercely to see him so vulnerable. 

She lifted her head and looked towards the bed where he slept, her eyes narrowed as he twitched and tossed his head in his sleep. It reminded her of when he’d had nightmares out on the road, fitful sleep leaving him bleary-eyed in the mornings and grouchy for the rest of the day. That was when he did sleep, anyway. 

Rising, Vex crossed the room and moved to the edge of the bed, slow and silent. She didn’t want to wake him yet, but as she got closer she saw that his brow was pinched and he was mumbling faintly under his breath. 

“ Don’t . . . not them, please–. . . Orthax–. ”

Vex shivered at the demon’s name falling from his lips, even if unconsciously. She’d hoped to never hear that name again, to leave it in the past and move forward, but that was wishful thinking. The dead don’t dream but the living do. 

She sighed and sat down on the side of the bed, watching as Percy’s hand twitched over the bedsheets. She reached out before stopping.

Smoke. 

There was smoke seeping from under the sleeve of his shirt. 

Her once settled heart began to pound again as she stood up, memories of Percy in a rage, shooting the hand off a kid, of a demon rising from his contorted body, of his blackened eyes and twisted expression, all rose in her mind. She swallowed thickly as the smoke curled in the air, leaking from his skin, from the corners of his eyes, from his throat as he mumbled. 

“ I don’t want . . . . You can’t-. ”

Vex had to do something. Was he being possessed again? Was Orthax attached to his soul? She had to get someone, had to–

More smoke rose from his skin and she watched him grimace before his eyes opened. Green . His eyes were still green despite the smoke that was coiling around him. “ Mm , Vex?” He murmured, disoriented.

“Percy,” Vex couldn’t help the urgency in her voice as she pressed her hand onto his and leaned over his body, holding him down on either side. “Don’t panic.” 

That made his eyes widen as he woke up a little more, the smoke grew thicker and she saw him begin to piece together what was happening in the moment. “ Vex? ” His voice was hoarse and he tried to get out from under her hold, she moved with him as he shifted to sit up. “Is this-?” 

“I don’t know,” Vex swallowed thickly. “I don’t know, but-.” 

“I-I didn’t,” His eyes were wide and she could see the panic building in him, as he watched smoke seep out of his own skin. “Th-the demon is gone . It’s supposed to be gone. ” She felt him try to move his hands, his fingers digging into his palms. 

She could practically hear his heart thudding in his chest, and did feel his pulse racing in his wrists. He needs to calm down. He was still weak, he was still sick, and panic wouldn’t help. 

She swallowed her own fear, stamping it down until it was a manageable ball of terror that chilled her veins and sharpened her senses. 

“Percy.” Her voice was firm. “Look at me.” 

He’d never been able to refuse her, and wide, green eyes met hers as the air around them was choked with blackened smoke that still poured from his skin and eyes. She wondered almost hysterically, as it puffed out in his frantic breaths, if he could taste it. 

“We can deal with this,” she assured him. “The demon has no hold on you.” 

He shook his head, his hands were shaking too. “Is this a trick? H-has this all been-?” 

“ No .” Vex leaned forward through the smoke that clawed at him, taking a hand off of his arm to draw his head towards her, pressing their foreheads together. “No, it’s not, I swear to you, Percival, I’d never lie to you.” 

He nodded, and she breathed deeply, trying to quell the fear as his breath caught in his chest. 

“Breathe with me,” she ordered. “In and out.” 

She took another deep breath, waiting until Percy did as well. She remembered Pike doing this with Keyleth a few times, early in their adventures, when the druid had been more fearful and anxious after their battles. She never thought she’d need it, but it had stuck in her mind, thank the gods. 

She let out the breath slowly, and he did as well, only a little smoke came with it. 

“Good, again,” she repeated the process, going round in its cycle until the smoke began to dissipate and the air cleared up around them, leaving only the faint taste of ash on her tongue. 

Percy was staring at his hands, the hole in his left palm had never seemed so real until that moment, a reminder of what he’d done to rid himself of the demon the first time. Vex sank onto the bed, but she knew she had to act before they both worked themselves back into a panic. 

Is it back? Is it in him again? She watched as Percy ran his trembling right hand through his hair and leaned his head back. Do we need to get him to a temple? 

She needed to move, she needed to get someone, someone who knew more than she did about demons, about resurrections. 

Pike. She needed Pike. 

“I’ll be back, darling,” Vex promised, taking his left hand, feeling gnarled scarring. “I’m going to get Pike.” 

He nodded as she let go. “Good– that’s a- that’s a good idea.” 

She was out the door before either of them could rethink it. 

Pike was in another wing of the castle, giving Vex just enough time to begin to panic again as she raced down the rebuilding halls, the icy chill of Whitestone’s wind brushing past her tunic as her boots thudded down the hallways. She couldn’t let the demon have him, she wouldn’t . She had promised him all that time ago that they’d never abandon him and she would keep that promise. 

She rounded the hallway where Pike’s room was and banged her fist on the door. “Pike!” she called, hoping to rouse the gnome quickly. 

There were heavy footsteps inside the room and Vex stepped back as the door swung open, the white-haired gnome blinked up at Vex as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “Vex? What’s going on?” 

“It’s-, it’s Percy.” She struggled to find the right explanation. “He’s okay, but something is happening.”

“That doesn’t make sense.” Pike motioned for Vex to lead the way as the two hurried down the hallways back to Percy’s room. 

“I know, it really doesn’t.” 

The two made it back to Percy’s chambers quickly, and Vex opened the door to see him sitting up, eyes shut as he took clearly forced calming breaths. 

Percy was always unflappable on the surface, but she knew him well enough to see the way his chest rose and fell in a staccato, the way his eyes roamed the room as if searching for threats, the tension in his shoulders when the door opened. 

The smoke that drifted faintly off his skin. 

“ Oh shit ,” Pike gasped, stepping into the room. “Percy?”

“Pike?” Percy turned to the cleric, his eyes were still wide and wild, but green. Still green. “I-ah, believe something is wrong.” 

“Y-yeah.” Pike hurried to his side, her hand outstretched. “I’m gonna see if I can divine anything, okay?” 

He nodded and Pike clambered onto the bed before kneeling and pressing a hand to Percy’s chest. Her eyes closed and she breathed deeply before her eyes flared white. 

Vex waited with bated breath as Pike searched Percy’s soul, the human was sitting still as he could, the faint plumes of black smoke were lesser now, drifting up lazily instead of coiling around him. She swallowed back the nerves as Pike pulled away, her expression pensive. 

“There’s no demon,” Pike said after a moment. “Not that I can see.” 

“But-,” Vex stepped forward. “The smoke?” 

Percy was pale as he watched Pike bite her lip and study him. “It’s– I don’t know a lot about demonic possession, but – there’s a bit of smoke still hanging around.” 

“ Hanging around? ” Percy echoed.

“I mean, yeah kind of,” Pike shrugged. “Your soul isn’t clouded anymore, but there’s smoke clinging to it.” 

“There wasn’t after the ziggurat,” Percy argued. “We checked then, what could have changed?” 

Pike hesitated. “You died , Percy.” 

Vex felt like the air had been pulled from her lungs as Pike continued. “You died, and-and maybe Orthax’s domain left a mark? I don’t really know, it’s all theoretical.” She looked to his hands, taking them in hers. “Not many people survive demonic possessions, or come back from the dead.” 

No one does both. Vex thought, her stomach twisting at the thought. 

The smoke was gone now, but Vex could still taste it as Percy took in a shuddering breath, forcing a pained smile. “At least there’s no demon anymore, correct?” 

Pike nodded. “It’s not there.” 

Vex felt some tension uncoil in her chest, Orthax was gone, but there was a lingering effect, something about being in Orthax’s domain had left a mark on Percy, had left him with this smoke . 

“What do we do about the smoke?” Vex asked, voice low. 

Pike ran a hand down her face. “I’m not sure,” She admitted. “It’s not like there’s a manual for any of this.” 

Vex suppressed a shiver at the memory of Percy’s tomb, of Pike’s panic when his soul wasn’t responding. She couldn’t be weak now, not when Percy needed her. 

Percy’s face was pensive and Vex could see his mind churning to come up with a solution. She had always admired his intelligence, the way he would work an issue over and over, breaking it down into its core components until he could put it back together again. 

“Percy?” Pike urged him to speak. 

Vex could see the heavy bags under his eyes, the gauntness of his cheekbones. It had only been a short time since his resurrection and he was still recovering and Vex hated that this was adding to the burden. 

“I think –,” he sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. “It would be best to inform the others. Vax may need to be checked as well.” 

Vex’s blood was ice as she imagined her brother being tainted by Orthax’s prison, her kind, loyal, good brother being stained with smoke and ash and pain. She could barely stand the idea. 

Pike only nodded, then yawned. “Sorry, sorry, it’s just–.” 

“It’s late.” Percy smiled kindly. “Thank you, Pike, for checking.” 

“It’s no problem, Percy,” Pike’s voice was thick. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” 

Is he? Vex wanted to ask, the fear like cotton in her mind as Pike said her goodbyes and the two watched as she slipped from Percy’s chambers. Is anything?  

The dragons were gone, Ripley was gone, demons were vanquished. 

So why did her breath still catch in her throat? Why did it feel like her heart was ready to beat out of her chest? 

“Vex’ahlia?” Percy’s voice drew Vex’s attention and the small ball of terror she’d stamped down rolled around in her lungs. 

“Yes?” 

Percy’s brow pinched before he held out an arm. “Would you like to stay?” 

Vex remembered that night before Glintshore, she remembered leaving his bed before they set off, slipping out and avoiding any prying eyes. She remembered imagining what it would have been like to stay, but it wasn’t for her. It wasn’t for her to live that life of love and romance. 

Sweet, broken Vex’ahlia.  

Would you like to stay?  

“Yes.” 

Chapter Text

Heat. Shame. Fear. Guilt. 

Help me. 

Arms bound by smoke, memories of a hook digging into flesh made viscerally real as he felt Orthax’s claws drag across his skin. Stop, please. He could hear them calling for him, he could hear his friends, facing their own torturers, blood curdling screams that were seared into his very soul. He couldn’t do anything about it, he was trapped, all he could do was listen and plead. “Not them, please, not them!” 

They don’t deserve this.

I do.

“You’re clean,” Pike’s voice cut through the phantom sounds of Orthax’s hell as she pulled away from Vax, a soft smile on her face. “Nothing out of the ordinary.” 

The tension in the room eased as Pike spoke, and Vax stood up from his kneeling position. Percy could see the relief on the half-elf’s face as he moved to stand by Keyleth, grabbing her hand and whispering a soft word into her pointed ear. 

“So, what’s that mean for Percy?” Grog asked, arms crossed as he stood near the desk where Percy sat, which was now covered in books on souls, spirituality and old lore on demons. 

Percy glanced through the books, nothing helpful so far, it wasn’t as if there was a lot of concrete information on Abyssal entities in Whitestone’s libraries, if Gilmore’s Glorious Goods had survived the fall of Emon then maybe they could have gone there, but the wizard was busy rebuilding his old supply of curiosities as he and others assisted in the reconstruction of Emon. 

He hated this whole situation, hated the way Emon was in need, Whitestone was in need and he could barely walk on his own, and now there was this smoke that was serving to make things much more complicated and worrisome for him and his friends. He had read through every tome he could find on demonic possession and was left with nothing that he didn’t know through his own bitter experience. 

“I don’t know, buddies,” Pike replied, crossing her arms as she turned to look at Grog, then Percy. “We don’t know much about the demon’s effect.” 

Orthax. Percy wanted to shout. His name is Orthax.  

It was an attempt at kindness, he was sure, the way they danced around him, around what happened. Pike was the most upfront at times, like the night before when the smoke first manifested, she had said the words ‘you died’ with such finality that he had almost been relieved . Relieved that he hadn’t just imagined it, wasn’t just imagining this world that he woke up to, where his friends were safe, where Cassandra was healing, where Whitestone survived. 

Grog and Scanlan were also up there on being clear on what happened, though they lacked the tact that Pike possessed. 

Keyleth and Vax were hesitant to talk about it, and Vex, well . . . 

My heart . . . it’s yours.  

A sudden awareness, a snapping back to reality and himself, a flood of repressed memories, a blue feather. 

Percy swallowed thickly and ran a hand through his hair. “We can assume it was due to the time spent in his domain, rather than simply being in it itself.” 

Pike had tilted her head, contemplative as Vex looked at him. He tried to communicate that he was Fine as best he could, but she looked away after a moment. 

“It doesn’t hurt does it?” Vax asked, his brow knit together. 

Percy shook his head. “No.” It was honestly hard to describe, a writhing under his skin, alien and wrong , but not painful. Painfully present , mayhaps. It was upsetting, but it was manageable. 

It had to be manageable. 

Vax nodded but didn’t press, and Percy was grateful for that. He’d long since promised honesty to this group, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t still keep some things close to the chest. 

Percy looked at the group, everyone seemingly at a loss as to what to do, if he knew them as well as he hoped he did, he was sure that Vex would want a solution, Pike seemed curious as she was wont to be, Scanlan and Grog seemed at a loss and Vax and Keyleth appeared to be eased by the fact that he wasn’t in pain. 

“I’m not certain there is anything we can do about this,” Percy said after the silence settled heavily. “It could very well just be . . . a scar left by Orthax.” 

Percy didn’t miss Vex’s faint wince. He frowned down at his left hand. Another scar. He forced a more neutral expression as he looked back towards Pike. “I appreciate your checking both Vax and I over, Pike, and if anything changes I’ll let you know.” 

Pike met his eyes. “Good.” 

“Then I’m getting some food,” Grog shrugged and Percy was thankful as always for the goliath’s tact as the tension in the room dissipated and the others walked out, Vax taking Vex by the shoulder and drawing her into a side-hug, guiding her out of the room. Pike remained, however, and watched as the others left with something soft in her eyes. 

“Pike?” Percy leaned forward in his chair as the gnomish woman moved towards the bed. 

“Can I . . . talk to you?” She asked, sitting on the edge of a blanket. 

“Of course.”

Pike’s hand moved to play with her hair. “When we met . . . I already had white hair, you know? I had it when I met most of Vox Machina really, only Grog knows what I look like without it.”

Percy raised a brow but said nothing. 

Pike said simply. “It wasn’t always white.” 

“Oh.” Percy glanced at her hair, so white it almost gleamed gold, as if the light of her goddess Serenrae glowed down on her at all times. 

“It changed when I was resurrected,” Pike continued. 

Percy blinked, he struggled to put the ideas together. Pike, endlessly light, kind, and vivacious, with death – Smoke, fear, pain, help – something so antithetical to all that Pike stood to preserve. 

“I won’t get into it,” she huffed and looked to the ceiling. “It’s not a fun story, but I remember waking up, it was . . . jarring . And everyone treated me differently, like I was glass.” 

Percy scoffed, he knew that feeling. Though to apply it to a person like Pike was odd. He still remembered when she arrived during the Retaking of Whitestone, a flash of golden light and power that had saved all their lives. She drank people twice her size under the table, she was relentless in battle, and she was not fragile. 

He was not fragile. 

He swallowed thickly. “Those people were clearly mistaken.” 

“They were,” Pike agreed, eyes boring into him. “But I also wasn’t always okay. Sometimes I . . . I had dreams, or just thought about it and froze, even if my body was fine . . . It was hard.” 

“I’m sure.” Percy’s own gaze flicked away. He had a feeling where this was going. 

“I’m just saying,” Pike’s voice was soft. “You’re not alone.” 

Percy’s hands clenched and he nodded, a short, sharp motion that made his eyes burn. He didn’t know how to express all that he was feeling, he didn’t want to. He wanted to be okay again, he had been feeling good for the first time in a long time before Ripley, before it all came crashing down. 

“I appreciate it, Pike, truly,” he finally looked back at his friend. “It means a lot, telling me.” 

Pike grinned, her expression kind, if tired. “I just want to make sure you understand, you don’t have to deal with this on your own.” 

He huffed a breath. “I am not. I have all of you to help.”

Pike’s eyes searched him, and he felt as though his nerves were exposed to her. That she could see every dark thought, the rot that roiled just under a thin layer of pale skin. He almost wanted her to tear it all open, let the smoke bleed out onto the ground, just so he was no longer consumed. 

“You’re not talking about it,” she pressed. “About what happened.” 

His unsteady hand ran down his face. “What’s there to talk about?” 

“How you feel?” Pike gestured vaguely. “Percy, Vax told us what he saw, but– you were there for . . . so long.” 

I know. I know it was a long time, I know how awful it is, I don’t need to relive it all over again. I don’t want to.  

“There’s nothing worth repeating,” Percy eventually said. “I was brought back, that’s the important thing.” 

Pike’s expression was open, concerned in a way Percy didn’t care to be the subject of anymore. “How long was it?” She asked in a whisper. “For you?” 

Percy blinked. 

Ages. Years. Eons. He could say. I don’t know, I stopped keeping track after I got used to the screaming. I couldn’t keep track when all I was was ripped out of me. I stopped caring when all I could see was the anvil. 

“I don’t know,” he answered instead. “I . . . It was difficult to mark time there.” 

Pike nodded. “I remember, it felt . . . odd, The Astral Sea. Limitless in the way eternity is.” 

He shuddered, unable to suppress it and Pike was by his side in a moment, his hand in hers. She looked up at him and he fought to control the tremor in his hands as she searched his face. 

“You don’t have to talk to me,” she said. “But I will be there.” Her expression softened into a smile. “Those who come back, we have to stick together, right?” 

He wanted to lean into her kindness, her open heart. He wanted to let himself fall, to rage and scream and lament how unfair it all was.

Instead he smiled softly at Pike, good, kind, understanding Pike. 

“Right.”