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P1: Sickness
Pangi was working on one of his tier lists with Derapchu the first time it happened. They had made their way down to Midmystic in their ranking, and were discussing where to place her. "Mid is nice, so I probably wouldn't put her in-" Pangi cut himself off with a cough "give- give me a second-" He choked out, his coughing becoming more heavy and loud. He took a few gasps of air before resuming his hacking. "You good man?" Derapchu questioned, seeing his friend half hunched over at this point. "I'm fine-" He croaked, trying his best to keep the coughs down, failing.
"Drink this" Derapchu muttered, shoving a bottle of water into Pangi's hands. He uncorked it, quickly taking a few sips. The cold water was like heaven to his throat, dulling the pain almost immediately. He gave himself a moment to catch his breath. "Okay... you wanna continue?" He breathed, getting up into a full standing position.
Derapchu gave him an almost pitiful look, he sighed before speaking. "We can do this later, you should go like rest or something, man." Derapchu suggested, putting the Midmystic map back into the chest. "No- we can do this now, I'm alright." He assured, trying to keep the coughing from starting up again. "Pangi, go home." He commanded, his tone deadpan. Pangi bit his tounge, letting out a quick sigh. "Alright, fine." He grumbled. Pangi turned away from him, starting to walk back to his house. He offered Derapchu a quick wave as he walked.
-
He slowly approached his base, looking around at his surroundings. Pangi sighed, trying to ignore the tickle in his throat. He opened his door, stepping into his house. The door shut behind him, Pangi walked over to his chests. He started placing some random items he'd accidentally picked up into them. An itch made it's home in his throat, his coughing starting again.
The coughing racked against his ribs, he felt like something was wedged in his throat. Pangi slammed his fist against his chest, trying to get whatever was in his throat, out. He coughed and hacked until he was hunched over his chests. Pain radiated from his throat and lungs. He felt something fall from his mouth, landing softly onto one of his chests. Pangi let out a choked breath as his throat cleared.
He opened his eyes and looked down to his chests.
A petal.
A single, red petal sat atop his chests. He picked it up with shakey hands, staring. He didn't remember eating any red flowers recently, nor inhaling them. This wasn't normal, he knew that at least. He felt his communicator buzz in his pocket, he sighed.
Derapchu whispered to you: you good
Derapchu whispered to you: you were coughing pretty hard earlier
He didn't want Derapchu worry about him. He typed a quick excuse into his comm.
You whisper to Derapchu: dont worry its just a cold
You whisper to Derapchu: ill be fine
You whisper to Derapchu: im just gonna stay home for the next bit
-
After coughing up the petal, Pangi had decided just to call it a day there. If he was getting sick with some odd disease, he should at least be getting some sleep. Sleep called for him anyway, after the day he had.
-
The light from his window shined directly into Pangi's eyes. He let out an annoyed hiss, shifting so the light wouldn't bother him. He sighed, relaxing back into the warmth of his bedding. Moving shifted something in his lungs, sending him into another horrible coughing fit. He gripped onto the covers of his bed, trying to fight off the pain. The same feeling of something being lodged in his throat returned, he choked and hacked trying to get it out. He struggled to get air into his lungs, breathing wearily between coughs. He gave himself a hard hit to his ribcage, desperately trying to clear his throat. Eventually, two petals landed onto his bed.
One was red, one was white. Pangi stared at them both for a moment, basking in his returned ability to breathe. So, this wasn't going to be a one off thing was it? This was going to become a problem. He picked up the two petals; if anyone came over he wouldn't want petals just laying around his base. That would arise suspicion. He got up to go place the petals in the trash, and get a glass of water to clear the itching in his throat. Pangi grabbed a bottle from his chests, slowly filling it up with water. He took a few gulps before placing it on his table, it definitely helped with the itch, but it wasn't gone.
He'd just have to hope this would go away In a few days, and that he didn't have to go out of the house much.
P2: Secrecy
Oh, right.
rekrap2 whispers to you: we still on for hanging out today?
Pangi stared at his communicator for a few moments, the pit in his stomach growing. He didn't want Rek to think anything was wrong. He had been camping it out in his base the last few days, and had totally forgotten that he had plans with Rek. The petals had become a daily occurance, hacking them up every hour or so. He just had to hope and pray that he wouldn't cough them up whilst he was with Rek. Pangi typed quickly into his comm.
You whisper to rekrap2: yeah, where do you wanna meet?
He got up from his bed where he was sitting, quickly gather together a few bottles of water. He placed them into a leather bag, sliding it over his shoulder. Just in case, he told himself, just in case.
rekrap2 whispers to you: ok ok ill meet you at spawn
He slipped on his elytra, placing a few stacks of rockets in his inventory. The door opened at his slight touch. Wind blew against his face as he flew. He just prayed and prayed he wouldn't cough up the petals.
-
Pangi carefully swerved away from the approaching buildings, navigating himself towards the spawn platform. He saw Rek standing politely off to the side, waiting for him. He landed messily onto the ground, stumbling into a stop. "Hi Rek!" Pangi greeted, turning towards him. "Hey man!" Rek chirped back. Rek gave him a odd look, tilting his head slightly. "Whats with the bag? I don't think I've ever seen you wear that before." He pointed out, making a small gesture with his hand. "Oh- just trying something new y'know?" Pangi answered, "What did you say you needed help with?" He asked, trying to change the topic as quick as possible.
"Oh, oh! I just needed you to help with clearing out some blocks! It's goes waaay faster with two people!" Rek quickly explained, gesturing him over. "If you'll follow me-" He called, stating to stride away.
-
Rek explained what work needed doing, showing him around the site. They started, slowly falling into a nice rhythm. The breaking of blocks started to feel like background noise. They chatted about reason events, talking about their plans for the future. Pangi was finding it quite nice actually, being couped up in his base was starting to wear on him. He hadn't been able to talk to anyone besides the occasional concerned message about his disappearance. Talking to Rek was actually quite relaxing. He almost started to forget the petals he had been coughing up. He got broken out if his thoughts by Rek.
"Did you ever finish that tier list with Derap?" Rek asked. It was a simple question, it was a yes or no answer. He didn't know why it brought up that same tickle in his throat. The ache that had been plaguing his week trickled into his lungs. He tried to stifle down his cough, at least until he could down some water. A puff of air escaped from him, it was like he pulled some lever to open a dam. He fell into a coughing fit, one of the ones that made him hunch down to his knees. He tried to stay as quiet as he could, but it was almost impossible for Rek not to hear.
He felt the petals starting to block his airway, a new feeling of panic washed over him. This could kill him. Pangi crumpled to his knees, slamming his fist repeatedly into his chest. Nothing. It felt like he had swallowed barbed wire, and now was throwing it back up. Tears started to well in his eyes, it hurt. Footsteps rapidly approached him, he heard Reks paniced call. "Pangi? Pangi!!" Rek quickly kneeled infront of him. Pangi felt his airway start to clear, starting to hack up petals, and.. buds. He coughed them out onto the hard stone of the ground. They were white, covered in a thin coat of blood. Pangi gasped out a few labored breaths, shaking. "...shit." He huffed, rubbing the blood from his lip.
Pangi looked up to Rek, who had a horribly distraught expression. "Hey... Rek.." Pangi stuttered out. He filled his lungs with as much air as they could handle, letting out a long sigh. Pangi sat up, grabbing a bottle of water from his bag, taking a long few sips. "Pangi..?" Rek called, his voice having an odd air of panic. He hummed, trying to ignore the situation that had just unfolded. "Do you know what this is?" He asked, his shaking obvious in his voice. Pangi shook his head, staring solemnly into the floor. "Pangi, you're gonna die from this." He muttered, he'd never heard Rek this serious before.
"What?!" Pangi croaked, his eyes shooting up to look at him. "Not- not right now!! Okay but.. do you know what Hanahaki is?" He asked again, Pangi shook his head. Rek sighed, "Hanahaki is- how do I put this-?" He paused "It's like- when your in love with someone and the love is unrequited- or at least you think it is- you can develop Hanahaki disease. It means the victim's lungs grow flowers until the love is requited. Or- they.. suffocate you." Rek explained "that's the simple definition, anyway." He added.
Pangi looked at him with confusion, "I- I'm not in love with anyone though..?" Pangi argued. Rek raised an eyebrow at him, "You're sure?" suspicion radiated from his tone. "Yeah! Why wouldn't I be?" Pangi responded "Just... try to think of who it could be, okay?" He asked. "Go rest, I can do this by myself." Rek urged. This time, Pangi just nodded. He slipped on his elytra and started to fly, not bothering to say his goodbyes to Rek, or grab his bag.
The words Rek said spun around in his head, who could it be? He couldn't remember ever being in love with anybody. There was no one on the server who he was in love with! It was plain and simple. Pangi had never veiwed any of his relationships more than platonic. He couldn't think of one person he viewed more than that. He tried to dig around in his mind, was there anyone who always stuck out to him? Was there a person that he was always around? Was there a person that he cared for deeply? Was there a person that he couldn't seem to get out of his head? There was one... One person that fit all the criteria... The one who sent him into a coughing fit in the first place.
Oh shit.
Not him! It couldn't be him! That's what he screamed at himself the rest of the flight home. It made alot of sense- to say the least. The over the top jokes Pangi made with him, how they always ended up blurring the line between joke and reality. Maybe his desire for closeness wasn't as platonic as he thought. He didn't want to keep thinking about this, it felt like it was making the flowers worse. He just decided to climb into bed and try to ignore him entirely. No matter his efforts, Pangi couldn't manage to get him out of his head.
P3: Desire
He had to confess sometime, he didn't exactly want to die from this. What was he supposed to say? 'Oh hey Derapchu, I'm like totally in love with you and I'm gonna die from it!!' He laughed at the thought. He'd probably think he was some sort of crazy weirdo. Pangi just decided to ignore Derapchu, any messages he sent, any thoughts he had about him. Maybe if he just ignored it for long enough it would go away! He knew that wouldn't work, but it was a comforting thought to have.
But there was still that looming feeling of desire. He was still in love with him after all, there wasn't much he could do to change that. The desire of closeness, but seeing him only made the flowers worse. He didn't want Derapchu to worry, that was the last thing he wanted. Maybe he'd visit him, just for a moment. It would be fine, he'd just pop in for a moment, get in get out. His bag usually sat on a hook near his door, he instinctively grabbed for it. Right. Forgot that. Pangi sent a quick message to him.
You whisper to Derapchu: meet me at spawn
It sounded a bit more demanding then he wanted it to be, but it got the message across. He equipped his elytra and started his flight to spawn. Wind blew nicely against him, making him shiver lightly. It was a nice reminder he was still alive. He dodged past buildings, gliding his way to spawn. He swooped into a land, actually managing to stay upright this time around. All he'd have to do was wait. He checked his communicator for messages, to see if Derapchu had responded yet. Thinking of it now, he probably should have done that before he left, but there was no time like the present.
Derapchu whispers to you: ok??
He probably thought it was some sort of trap or something, luring him there with a friend he hadn't talked to in while. After a bit, he heard footsteps approaching him. He looked up from his communicator to see Derapchu, looking surprisingly cheery. "Hey Pangi!!" He greeted, walking faster as Derapchu saw him. "Hey Derap!" He chirped, hoping his voice didn't sound too raspy. Derapchu pulled out his communicator "What was that ominous ass message you sent me?" He asked, reading from his comm "meet me at spawn." Derapchu read it in a silly sort of deep voice, making Pangi laugh. "What did you need me for anyway?" He quickly changed the subject, placing his communicator back in his pocket. "I just wanted to.. talk.. for a minute." He spoke awkwardly.
Derapchu gave him an odd look, "Talk?" He repeated. "Yeah.. we don't have to if you don't want!" Pangi assured, "No- no it's fine." He answered. Derapchu gave him a look, it was almost of pity, almost care. He felt like that look twisted something in him. Coughing. It hurt, it hurt more than it usually did. Maybe it was just because Derapchu was here, but it hurt. "I'm- I'll be fine!" He told, he couldn't tell if it was a reassurance for Derapchu, or himself. He didn't want this. Not now. He tried to mutter out some sort of apology as he coughed, failing to manage even a word out. Petals built up in the throat as he coughed, making him start to wheeze. Tears stated to form in his eyes.
"Jesus christ- you good?" Derapchu's concerned voice echoed through his ears. It only made him cough harder, it tore at his throat. His footing started to fail, causing him to tumble slightly. Derapchu grabbed onto his arm, trying to keep Pangi upright. Tears fell down his face, he didn't want this. He just wanted to go back to his normal life without having to worry about coughing up flowers every minute. His throat started to block up again, adrenaline coarsed through his veins. Pangi dug his nails into his palm. He desperately choked and gagged until it cleared. He coughed the flowers into his hand, they were coral coloured. Blood was plastered over them, almost covering their original colour. His hand closed fast enough so Derapchu didn't see. Pangi started sobbing.
Everything was wrong. He was in pain. He didn't want to do this anymore. Tears rolled down his face, he wished this stupid disease would just take him out already. It just kept toying with him. "What happened?? Pangi?" Derapchu desperately attempted to talk to him. He froze almost immediately, right, Derapchu was right next to him, that whole time. Pangi sprung away from him, equipping his elytra back on. "I'm fine, I'm fine-" He tried to convince him. Derapchu just gave him this horrified look. He saw, didn't he? He tried to not dwell on that and took off without thinking. Pangi used as many rockets as he could, trying to get away from him as fast as he possibly could. That's it. He was never leaving his base again. He'd rather die to this stupid disease than have to admit anything to Derapchu.
Pt4: Loneliness
He'd put his communicator on silent. The constant buzzing from his concerned friends had gotten too over whelming. The simple petal every so often had devulged into him coughing up flower after flower. They weren't fully bloomed yet, but by shape and colour it was obvious they were Daffodils. He found them quite pretty. Pangi had always overlooked flowers before this all happened, but he'd started to become oddly fond of them. He'd given up on cleaning the flowers up, no one was going to see his base anyway. Laying on the floor helped pass the time, or sleeping. Sometimes he would wake up coughing, that scared him. Dying asleep scared him. Most people said it was the most peaceful way to go, but he disagreed. He wanted to know before he died. He wanted to know that he had reached the end.
It was odd to just be thinking about death, but his mind always seemed to be spiraling back to it. Especially with the situation he found himself in. Dying would be strange, each one of your hearts getting stripped away with every respawn. He hacked up a few more flowers, it was getting more and more difficult to choke them out. He didn't know what he was gonna do. Just wait, he didn't know for what, but waiting seemed easy enough to do. Maybe some sleep could pass the time, he was tired anyway.
_
He woke up to someone screaming his name outside his base, knocking loud enough he could hear three rooms over. He'd just ignore it. Getting up and dealing with someone was too much for him. He was struggling to do much at that point, he could barely remember the last time he drank something let alone eat. They would lose interest eventually. He just tried to close his eyes and ignore it, that part was easy to do. "Pangi!!!" The voice screamed, "I'm worried about you, you haven't talked to anybody in days!" The voice cried. "Please just open the door!! I just wanna know if your okay!!" The words fell on deaf ears.
He heard the sound of blocks breaking. Oh. Someone was going to see him like this. A wave of adrenaline washed over him. He heard footsteps rapidly approaching his room. His door swug open, he didn't care to look up to see who it was, he knew. "Pangi! Pangi! Jesus christ man-" Derapchu called, he didn't want to anwser. He didn't want to move, it would just hurt. He sprinted over to Pangi, pulling him from the bed into his arms. His arms were warm, they were nice. Tears welled in his eyes, he started muttering apologies. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry... I shouldn't of-" He broke down into another coughing fit. "I kept-" He paused for a cough "ignoring you." Pangi's voice was shakey. "It's okay, it's okay, it doesn't matter" Derapchu reassured.
He pulled away from his grasp to continue his coughing. It was getting harder and harder to cough the flowers out. He choked out a Daffodil, along with a few lone leaves. The Daffodils petals were almost in bloom, making a large wave of panic settle over him. "..shit" He mumbled. He layed down again, staying upright took too much effort anyway. "Pangi, please.." He begged, Derapchu pulled him back into his arms. Tears fell down his face, he was so, so tired. "It's gonna be okay." He tried hard to assure him. "You're gonna be okay." Pangi knew he wasn't going to be, it was nice of him to try, though. He wrapped his arms around Derapchu, digging his nails into his sweater. "It's fine, your gonna be fine."
He started coughing, it felt like the flowers had started to choke him. Pangi pushed away from Derapchu, trying to choke out what was blocking his throat. It hurt. He coughed out the Daffodils, along with some leaves. It was getting worse. He looked down at the flowers, defeated. "They're kinda pretty if you look at them the right way." Pangi muttered, scooping them up into his hands. Derapchu had this somber look in his eyes, "Please.." He spoke, pulling him back into his arms. "I don't want to lose you." He pleaded. He felt his stomach twist, he didn't think about how it would effect people. Derapchu sighed "Do you know who it is?" He asked. Pangi shook his head, it was a lie, he knew, he knew so well. "It's fine, it's fine, we'll figure it out." He explained, he nodded. "Yeah, we'll figure it out." He chirped through tears.
His breaths were shallow and short, he couldn't manage anything deeper. He knew he didn't have much time left. "Can I get you anything..?" He asked. Pangi didn't need anything, Derapchu was here, he didn't care that he was the one making it worse. "Just hold me." Pangi answered, Derapchu held him a little tighter. "You'll be alright." He hummed, trying to calm Pangi. More flowers started to clog his throat. Thorns felt like they were peirceing into his skin, he was in pain. Petals and thorns scratched against his throat. He tried to take a breath, nothing. He couldn't breathe. He started to choke, trying his hardest to gag the flowers up. His lungs screamed for air, tears started flowing down his face. He clenched his fist, trying to combat the pain. "Woah what-" Derapchu's concerned voice filled his ears. He watched his hearts slowly trickle down.
Pangi suffocated
He had respawned in a diffrent bed than he had previously found himself in. The flowers were still there, that was a definite. But his throat was clear enough for him to get air through it. The warmth where Derapchu's arms were slowly faded, leaving a cold emptiness in its wake. He hadn't realized how empty his base was, it felt lonely. Pangi tried to stand from his bed, instead crumbling under his own weight. He fell onto the hard stone, he layed for a moment, trying to gather the strength to move. His joints ached, everything ached. Moving would take too much energy, laying there was fine. It hurt a bit, but he could deal.
Warm hands helped him onto his feet, "How many hearts are you on?!" Derapchu demanded, Pangi responded with a hum, the fog of a respawn slowly wearing off. "Seven.. I think." He answered. Derapchu pulled him into a hug. "You need to figure out who it is man, soon." He mumbled into Pangi's shoulder. It felt like a dagger plunged into his chest, he knew. He knew who it was, there was barely a time where he didn't know. He was done lying, it was just going to get him killed. "I think I know who it is." He softly whispered. Derapchu looked at him curiously, breaking their embrace "Who?" He prompted. Panic washed over him. It would be fine, it would be fine, it would be fine- "Okay, you can't lead off with that and then not say it." Derapchu laughed, "It's uh- uhm- Yknow what, it doesn't matter-" Pangi tried to change the topic "No! What, it does matter!!" He argued. "Dude, I'm not gonna judge you. I really don't care, I just really would prefer for you to not die right now." Derapchu told, Pangi took a deep breath. "I-" He sighed "it's you. It's you Derap." Pangi muttered, his tone somber.
Derapchu's face had turned a shade of red. He stared wide-eyed at him, "Oh-" He stuttered out. Pangi felt his lungs burn. Tears started to well in his eyes, he tried to keep the coughing down. He felt the flowers in his throat, his airway slowly closing. Oh no, Oh no, Oh no. Pangi started coughing, the flowers tearing at his throat. "No! No wait-" Derapchu pleaded. The coughing only got worse, it felt like someone was scratching at his lungs. "Pangi please." He hacked up the flower, it was larger than the other ones. "Look at me man, please." He begged. It was going to be over soon anyway. "Pangi." He tried to gain his attention. He just kept coughing. Derapchu pulled him into his arms, forcing him to listen. "Pangi. Listen to me." He commanded "I love you." Derapchu assured, holding him tighter.
Pangi felt the flowers in his lungs start to wilt. He wrapped his arms around Derapchu. He could breathe, and Derapchu was holding him, not just because he needed to but because he could. He was fine. He was okay. He was breathing. Derapchu gave him a small kiss to his forehead, Pangi hummed. "I love you too, Derap." He mumbled. Pangi leaned into their embrace.
Pangi was okay, he was warm, he was safe, and he could breathe.