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When Harumasa had first left the hospital he had made himself a few promises. At the time he could never see himself breaking them, and over the years he found it easy to keep them. It was probably because he found them so easy to keep that he eventually slipped up and broke his promises.
The first promise he had made himself was to not get too close to other people. A product of his life in the hospital likely. There was always a level of distance between the patients and doctors, a common and expected occurrence given the need for professionalism and the type of relationship that was usually built between doctors and patients. He was aware that it was a little different for him given how young he was when he was first admitted as a patient. The fact that he suffered from Ether Aptitude Regression Syndrome also changed the relationship he had with some of his doctors, his Master being the main example of this, and this was still ignoring the fact that some of the doctors pitied him for his parents abandoning him there.
When he was younger he never really picked up on the pity. Initially he spent everyday waiting for his parents to return, to announce there had been an emergency or something they needed to deal with but that they were there to take him back home with them. He couldn’t remember how long it took for him to accept that that wasn’t going to happen, but he did remember closing himself off. He remembered his thoughts spiralling, trying to figure out what he had done wrong to be abandoned by the people who before had told him how much they loved him. The people who once they got his diagnosis spent so much time assuring him that they would do everything they could to help him, that they would dedicate themselves to making sure he received the best care they could.
His parents, the people who comforted him as that first doctor, explained the severity of his illness, who had to make sure they were all aware of just how low his chances of living a long healthy life was.
He could also remember the fact that this was when he first met his Master. He hadn’t really been eating much, only picking at the meals that the hospital provided for him. He knew it wasn’t smart, and he was already beginning to feel the effects of not eating properly, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. Then he walked in, the man he would later come to call Master. He was the one bringing in the usual tray of food, but this time instead of just the usual one he had brought in two, struggling to balance both of them as he walked.
Usually he would ignore anyone who came into his room, they were all doctors or nurses asking him the same basic questions, for all that his parents had supposedly given consent for them to do what they deemed necessary, it was also true that they had abandoned him, so they didn’t really know what to do with him. But this time he was curious, he was sure this man had never entered his room before, for all his mumbling as he nearly dropped a tray, managing to rebalance it before anything fell, Harumasa was certain he didn’t recognise his voice.
So he let his curiosity win and he watched.
The man eventually managed to close the door, and with a weary sigh he turned to face the bed, to face Harumasa.
“Hi there, you must be Harumasa?” Harumasa didn’t respond, instead electing to continue watching the man. Not deterred by the silence the man continued to speak, “I was told you hadn’t been eating, and these rooms can be quite scary and also lonely, so I figured I would come and sit in here with you and also have something to eat.” He didn’t have the chance to say no as the man walked over to his bed, placing one tray on his lap, before sitting down on the chair next to his bed placing his tray on his own lap.
The longer the older man stayed in the room with Harumasa the more he managed to convince him that he was weird. For his big claim of wanting to eat in the room, he had yet to touch anything on his tray, though Harumasa wasn’t doing much better, only taking a small bite out of the corner of the sandwich he was given. Instead the man watched Harumasa for a few seconds before looking away. At what? Harumasa didn’t know, there wasn’t anything to look at in the room and the curtains were closed. But he wasn’t being watched which was nice considering that was all anyone tended to do when they came into his room, ask questions and watch him.
Some would look at him like was a dying patient, having only a few days left to live, which he knew was always a possibility, and some looked at him like he was a monster, like he was going to hurt them all. Again he was aware that they may not be entirely wrong, but even as a child he knew it was stupid to look at him in such ways. He wasn’t in a Hollow, he couldn’t turn into an Ethereal, into the monster they all feared.
But this man was different, he acted completely differently to everyone else that Harumasa was usually forced to interact with. In a way he felt human again, which was weird. He didn’t know exactly when he had stopped feeling like a human.
“Now Harumasa, I’ve been shown your files.” There it was, the usual questions always followed after his files were mentioned. Of course this man would be no different. He was a doctor and all doctors acted the same way. And he was sure that like all the other doctors here, he would soon be treated as if he was no longer a human.
“And in the previous tests done everything looks perfectly fine. So to spare you the long list of questions, and the countless visits from the other staff here, I have only one question.” Hearing this, Harumasa couldn’t help but turn to look at the man, he was also turned to face Harumasa again, but his look held no pity, or fear, or disgust, he was simply looking at him. And through all of this Harumasa could only think one thing. What?
“Have you noticed any changes in how you feel since those last tests?” That was it? That was the question? It was so easy to answer, so he did. Harumasa shook his head. He still felt perfectly fine, just as he did before all of the previous test. Yes he usually felt a little bad afterwards, but he didn’t know how to describe that, and he always felt better again after a little while.
“That’s good then, I can tell my colleagues in a minute and you can be spared their endless list of questions and tests. I understand that your situation can be quite serious, but seriously that amount of blood tests can’t be good for anyone.”
The man left the room a minute or two later, after watching Harumasa take a few more bites of his sandwich. It was weird, knowing that he wouldn’t have more people coming into his room to bother him with questions or take some more blood tests, made him feel like he could actually eat. And so he did. Harumasa continued to eat, finishing one half of the sandwich before picking up the other. He didn’t pay attention to the man when came back into the room, instead focusing on the food and the feeling of hunger he had previously been ignoring.
He finished the sandwich just as the man sat in the chair again. Seeing that Harumasa had finished the sandwich, he passed him the two halves that had been sitting on his tray.
“There you go,” Harumasa stared at him, probably not the politest thing he could do considering the man had just given up his breakfast for him — well put it on his plate at least — and for all Harumasa was still hungry, he refused to take food that wasn’t for him. Upon seeing him staring the older man simply laughed and gestured to the remaining sandwich.
“It’s all yours. I may have lied a little bit to you. I already ate before coming to work, they were both for you. The nurses told me you hadn’t been eating and that they didn’t know what else to try, so I figured I would try, not much for me to lose if I failed.”
This had quickly become a routine, for this man to bring him his food and sit with him as he ate. Sometimes he would also eat something, but oftentimes he would just fill the silence with whatever small talk he could think over. Harumasa found himself quickly opening up, responding to the man and talking about his dreams. At some point this older man stopped being just an older man, instead becoming his Master. Harumasa found himself learning many useful skills and eventually managed to wear his Master down to the idea of teaching him archery.
Growing up and leaving the hospital knowing what some of the doctors had been doing, his Masters involvement in it. It made it hard for him to trust people easily. After all his parents, the first people he had trusted had abandoned him. And now his Master, the next and only other person he had grown to trust, had abandoned him too.
His Master was the reason why it was so easy for him to make that promise, why he found it so easy to follow through with it.
His second promise also stemmed from his childhood in the hospital. To not let anyone know that he suffers from Ether Aptitude Regression Syndrome. He had seen how the knowledge led to people changing how they viewed him, and he didn’t want it anymore. He didn’t want to be viewed as a monster. He couldn’t stand the thought of people looking at him, wondering how much longer it would be before he turned into an Ethereal.
These were promises he had made and kept for many years. These promises were so easy for him to keep. So when had he broken them? And why had it taken him so long to realise he had broken them?
***
Looking back it was easy for him to figure out what made him break these promises. Section 6, his team, his co-workers. He wasn’t surprised, they were so easy to joke with, so easy to relax around.
There was no mystery around how they found out about him suffering from Ether Aptitude Regression Syndrome. He had been the one to tell them after everything that happened with Kirishima, with how the situation played out he felt he had no choice but to tell them, and yet they hadn’t pressured him at all; they had all been patient with him and let him explain at his own pace. Of course during the whole Kirishima mission both Wise and Belle had also found out about his secret, which was more surprising to him. He had for some reason felt comfortable around them, enough to be able to tell them about it, but at the same time he knew it was a matter of circumstance. They were going to find out about it eventually so he took it upon himself to tell them.
No he was more confused on how he allowed himself to become so close to his co-workers in the first place. But thinking about it more, thinking about each one of them individually, he wasn’t surprised.
Miyabi was kind, she never forced them to do anything and she listened when they had something to say. It was never a case of her leading them into battle without hearing their own opinions. She was also strong enough that there was never any reason for him to worry about a battle taking too long. Going into Hollows was not the smartest decision for him, and he knew that. Every time he entered he knew there was a risk of his illness flaring, that there was a chance of him turning into an Ethereal if he wasn’t careful enough. Yet he found himself rarely worrying about it with Miyabi around.
Yanagi was smart, so he felt the most nervous around her. He figured that if anyone was going to catch him out it would be her. And yet she was the one dealing with his requests for sick days. He was incredibly thankful for her, sure there were times where she asked questions, but she was always willing to hear him out and she had accepted many of his requests even after calling him out for his weak excuses or lack of evidence.
Then there was Soukaku, even though she joined after the initial creation of Section 6 she was still an indispensable member. She brought so much joy and energy to the team. He found it hard to say no to her, though he knew the same could also be said about Miyabi and Yanagi. Soukaku was able to get away with far more than other employees of HSO, but she still had work to do and lessons to take. And she did them, there had been plenty of times where she had asked Harumasa to help her with something. And while doing so he always found himself thinking back to his Master and how he would also help him with things. His interactions with her were both useful in bringing up good old memories and making new ones.
The three of them made him feel comfortable. He felt at home, more so then he sometimes did at his own home, more than he did at the hospital. It was too easy for him to relax around them. He didn’t fear the possibility of him turning into an Ethereal as much anymore, of course it still scared him, but now he had people who he trusted to be able to handle the situation. To be able to handle him. He didn’t fear his doctors appointments as much either. He still wasn’t prepared to hear the inevitable bad news, whenever it would come, but he wasn’t alone anymore.
***
“Are you free after work Harumasa?” Soukaku asked, sitting at her own desk, scribbling away at a piece of paper with one of her colours.
“I have a doctors appointment but nothing after that. Why do you ask?”
“Me, Yanagi and Miyabi are going out to eat. I wanted to invite you as well.” Harumasa smiled, it was always something simple, and that was good. It was easy to predict. And he knew there were no expectations he could answer no and that would be it. Sure he may feel a little guilty later on for turning Soukaku down, but that was just him. Soukaku wouldn’t mind and there would always be next time which is what she would focus on instead of the fact that he declined this offer.
“Sounds good. Would it be easier for me to meet you there?”
“I don’t see why we can’t all go after your appointment, it shouldn’t take that long should it?” Miyabi was the one to ask the question. Even as she sat at her desk, positioned so she sat above them, she engaged in the conversation as if that implied position of power didn’t exist. It was what made the job easy. They often didn’t feel like co-workers, instead they felt like friends.
“It shouldn’t but I don’t want to hold you three up.”
“You wouldn’t be holding us up, Harumasa. Besides you’re due the results from the most recent blood work, yes?” And that was Yanagi joining in, backing him into a corner. What had they all agreed to bully him?
“Right as always, Yanagi. Though I shouldn’t be surprised seeing as you were the one to book the appointment for me.”
“So it’s decided we’ll go to Harumasa’s appointment then go out to eat as a celebration for the good results.” Miyabi declared. The conversation was over and yet Harumasa hadn’t agreed to them coming with him. And there was no reason to declare it a celebration when there was every chance the results would be negative. But Harumasa stayed quiet, not wanting to spoil the mood. He couldn’t regret breaking his promises to himself, even if a part of him felt like he had betrayed himself. These were his friends. They deserved to know.
Though these appointments were to be attended by him and his family. And in the end his family was going with him.