Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

*SOLARBALLS (2022): THE BIG BANG - PART 2 (EP108)*

Sometime later, Sol’s in his new spot, noticing another similar star a few light years away from him.

[MERCURY]: Whoa—he’s so young.

[MARS]: I know right? That’s bizarre.

[VENUS]: We were all young once. No need to rub it in.

[MARS]: Whatever you say, Mr. Philosophical.

[VENUS]: Don’t call me that!

[SUN]: (apprehensively) H-Hello?

[HD 162826]: (deeper voice) Helloooo??

[NEPTUNE]: (chuckling) I like this guy. He’s funny.

[JUPITER]: (teasing) He sounds like a deeper version of Saturn.

[SATURN]: (embarrassed) Oh come on! That’s not…true…

[SUN]: (loudly) I can’t hear you! Please, can you—can you come closer to me?

[HD 162826]: (hollering) Whaaat??

[JUPITER]: (interested) I think he’s our solar sibling.

[MERCURY]: (confused) Solar what now?

[JUPITER]: The Sun was born in the Solar Nebula along with thousands of other stars. The one we saw just now might be HD 162826.

[NEPTUNE]: So…the Solar Nebula is our parent?

[JUPITER]: Yes—she was our mother. (sadly) But she’s gone now. I wish we got to meet her.

[EARTH]: (muttering) Theia’s gone too…and Lilith and Phaeton and—so many others…

[MERCURY]: Earth…are you okay?

Terra turned away from him and scoffed. Hermes had some nerve ‘caring’ about him after his fucked-up stunt comment.

[MERCURY]: Earth —

[EARTH]: (eyeballing him, tersely) What?

[MERCURY]: (unsure) I…you seem pretty tense and…well…

[EARTH]: (sardonically) Gee, I wonder why.

[MARS]: (annoyed) Okay, what’s your deal? Why are you actin’ like this again? I thought you were past it.

[EARTH]: (pointing at Mercury) Why don’t you ask him?

[VENUS]: (groaning) What did you do now, pipsqueak?

[MERCURY]: (defensively) I didn’t do anything! All I did was ask him a simple question and —

[EARTH]: (disgusted) He reduced my suicide attempt to a stunt—a ‘pathetic cry for attention’. That’s what he said to my face—right after I suffered another hallucination.

The giant planets shot disappointed glares at the innermost planet while the other rockies were fuming.

[MARS]: (glowering at Mercury) You did what?!

[MERCURY]: (nervously) Uh…w-well —

[MARS]: (louder) What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why would you say that?! After everything Earth has been through! After all he’s suffered! And the fact that you were his goddamn therapist is just—!

[VENUS]: (dryly) Yeah, that’s fucked up, pipsqueak. Can’t defend you on that. Even I wouldn’t go that far.

[MERCURY]: (flailing hands) You guys also ignored him! Why am I the only one at fault?!

[MARS]: (gritted teeth) So you don’t regret it then?

[MERCURY]: (scared) I-I…! Of course I do! (facing Terra) Listen Earth, I —

[EARTH]: (snappishly) Save it! From now on, I will never trust you with my problems ever again! (glaring at other rockies) And don’t act like you guys care now, Mars and Venus! Just—leave me alone. I can’t do this anymore.

[MARS]: (visibly hurt) Earth, please—we do care, and we are so sorry —

[EARTH]: (nearly shouting) No you don’t! Stop lying!

[MARS]: (voice trembling) W-We’re not lying. We—we all love you Earth, you know that. We’re a family —

[EARTH]: (standing up) ARE WE?! HUH?! ARE WE A FAMILY?! IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL IT, MARS?! PEOPLE WHO CONSTANTLY IGNORE EACH OTHER WHEN THEY NEED HELP?! PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO SIT DOWN AND FUCKING TALK TO EACH OTHER ABOUT REAL SHIT?! PEOPLE WHO BARELY REMEMBER EACH OTHER OR DON’T KNOW THEY EXIST?! IS THAT HOW YOU DEFINE IT?! HUH?! IS IT??!!

Everyone else recoiled out of fear and guilt while tears streamed down Ares’ face.

[MARS]: (shakily) Earth…

[EARTH]: (tearing up) No! Y-You either tell me about Theia or—or we’re done!!

The rocky planets flinched remorsefully as Terra finally calmed himself down, panting heavily for a few seconds before continuing.

[EARTH]: (normal volume) I—I don’t understand! W-Why won’t you tell me about her? Huh? Why? W-What did I do that was so bad? Am I…am I the reason she’s dead? Was it my fault? Is that why you…you…?

Terra fell to the ground and burst in heavy sobs, which were raw and painful. He hugged his kneecaps to provide comfort to himself, but it didn’t work as he cried harder.

[EARTH]: (blubbering) I-I mean, it’s the only thing that makes sense. I…I’m the one who k-killed her, didn’t I? S-So that’s why you h-hate me and…it’s my fault, right? I-It was me, right? I-It was me w-who…!

[JUPITER]: (also in tears, embracing him) Earth, no…it wasn’t your fault, bud. I-It wasn’t your fault.

[NEPTUNE]: (gently) He’s right.

[EARTH]: (stuttering) B-But she collided with me a-and…

Cronus and Poseidon joined the hug from both sides.

[SATURN]: (sorrowfully) No—she collided with Proto-Earth and he reincarnated into you.

“Suddenly a big crash! BOOM! Two became one!”

[VENUS]: Earth—it was my gravity…(pointing at Ares) And partially his.

[MARS]: (shaking head) Venus —

[VENUS]: (assertively) No! We’re not hiding this anymore, Mars! Even if was an accident!

[MERCURY]: But —

[VENUS]: Shut it, pipsqueak! I think you’ve said enough for today!

Guess I didn’t have to say anything…but maybe he should get my perspective too. Uranus figured.

Kneeling down in front of his distraught siblings, Caelus placed a comforting hand on Earth’s shoulder, who lifted his head with red and puffy eyes.

[URANUS]: (grimacing) Listen mate…we’ll tell you what we know about Theia from all our perspectives, even if it’s hard.

[EARTH]: You…(sniffles) Y-You will?

[URANUS]: (promising) Of course. I know you feel like everything’s falling apart and…in a way, it is. (lifting his chin) But we will fix it—together.

[EARTH]: (choking out) H-How?

Caelus silently prompted Mars and Venus to reveal the truth about Theia’s death. The duo finally agreed and described her personality, quirks, strengths and flaws, plus her close-knit bond with Proto-Earth. Apparently Theia was the one who yearned for life while Proto couldn’t care less about it. She was determined and curious while he was nonchalant and present-oriented.

After the collision and Luna (plus Lilith)’s formation, Earth obtained both their personality traits. He wondered if Proto was a different person from him, which was a technical yes. However—Earth, Luna, and Lilith were combinations of Proto and Theia respectively. And when Lilith crashed into Luna’s Far Side, he received his current size and mass.

[EARTH]: (facing the rocky planets, no longer crying) Did Mercury know too?

[MERCURY]: (admitting) I…I did.

[EARTH]: So why did you guys keep this from me?

[SATURN]: The Sun ordered us not to say anything.

[EARTH]: But why?

[JUPITER]: Honestly? He claims to have his reasons, but we don’t know what they are.

[EARTH]: So the Sun kept secrets too. Doesn’t that make him a hypocrite? Then he should be the last person to judge what you did, Jupiter.

[JUPITER]: I…well…I still lied to him for billions of years, so —

[EARTH]: And the rocky planets did the same to me.

[URANUS]: (raising hand) I’m a hypocrite too.

[OTHER PLANETS]: (gaping) What??

[JUPITER]: (flabbergasted) How?

Caelus finally disclosed his own protoplanetary impactor (Telluria), who caused his 98-degree tilt. The only witnesses were himself, Neptune, and their satellites. Before that, Poseidon accidentally captured former dwarf planet Triton who became his sole spherical moon (since the previous ones died as a result), and thus created his current inner moons.

Telluria’s death was followed by another protoplanet (Cleodora) who crashed into Neptune and tilted his axis to 28 degrees. Then a Titan-sized moon (Volumnia) drifted away from Uranus due to her significant distance and gravitational influence on his axis. Eventually, she left the Solar System and was never seen again. More tears were shed during this explanation.

[NEPTUNE]: (brokenly) Cleodora…w-why didn’t I remember her ‘till now? Why—why didn’t you tell me about her?

[URANUS]: (mournfully) I—I was so scared of how you’d react…but that’s not an excuse. I should’ve told you, Neptune. And I am so sorry…

[NEPTUNE]: (hugging him tightly) We’re still friends, Uran—Caelus…but please don’t hide something like that from me, okay? I tried giving you space millions of times, but you—you gotta open up, buddy. Promise me you’ll try.

[URANUS]: (lips quivering) I…I promise.

[NEPTUNE]: (whispering) Thank you.

[EARTH]: (turning around, sighing) Listen—Mars and Venus, I kinda get why you kept this from me. But don’t do that again, okay? We need to learn how to actually communicate from now on. And Mercury…unless you didn’t mean it, I dunno if I can forgive you for…you know…

[MERCURY]: (guiltily) I…I didn’t mean it, Earth. I—I promise. I’m so sorry for what I did to you and I-I regret all of it.

[EARTH]: (patiently) Thank you for being honest. We’re still friends, but…I don’t think I can trust you with my issues for a long time, especially since you were my therapist. So I’m gonna find a new one. Please understand that.

[MERCURY]: (eyes downcast) I…I know.

[EARTH]: (eyeing them) So what’s the verdict?

[VENUS]: (confidently) We have a deal.

The other rocky planets bobbed their heads.

[MARS]: (apprehensively) So are we—are we good or…?

[EARTH]: (deep inhale) Hey…families fight. But we’re willing to put in the work. So yes.

[MARS]: (embracing him, crying again) O-Okay.

Terra rubbed circles on his back as Ares apologized profusely over keeping Theia (and Proto) a secret from him. Hermes and Aphrodite said sorry as well as the four rocky planets hugged, vowing to be more attentive and understand each other (unlike the *Rocky Planets* episode where they broke that promise post-Planet X).

TO BE CONTINUED

Chapter Text

*SOLARBALLS (2022): THE BIG BANG - PART 2 (EP108)*

Sol tries to move forward until five ringless rocky protoplanets (two offscreen) are destroyed in the process, horrifying him.

Everyone was rendered speechless for two minutes.

[JUPITER]: (shaky breath) S-So all this time…the Sun lied to us? H-He said I was his first planet.

[NEPTUNE]: (finger raised) First full-fledged planet to be exact.

[SATURN]: (balled fists) He also killed rocky planets, yet had the gall to blame Jupiter for his mistake!

[VENUS]: (grumbling) Great…so the Sun’s a hypocrite too.

[EARTH]: (mumbling) Well that was pretty obvious.

[JUPITER]: There were five others before me…five big brothers or sisters that I never got to know.

[SATURN]: Their debris must’ve created the Asteroid Belt. It was still forming when we were born.

[MARS]: What about the Kuiper Belt?

[NEPTUNE]: Hmm…I don’t think planets were there back then. Before, there were loose asteroids.

[SUN]: No! No no no! I—I’m sorry! I…o-okay, I-I’ll stay put! (guiltily) Sorry little rocks.

[SATURN]: If he doesn’t apologize to you, I’ll…!

[JUPITER]: Saturn, I don’t think —

[SATURN]: No, Jupiter! I will no longer allow the Sun to treat you like shit!

[JUPITER]: But I deserve —

[SATURN]: No you don’t! You don’t deserve it! He’s a fucking hypocrite and I’m glad he’s finally being exposed for who he really is!

Sol looks up again.

[SUN]: I’m sorry! I can’t go with you! (deep breath) Maybe…maybe one day I’ll be able to hang out with the other stars. (glancing at protoplanetary debris) But now—you can be my friends, right?

[SATURN]: (growling at screen) At this rate, you’ll have zero friends.

[JUPITER]: (blinking twice) Saturn —

[SATURN]: (angrily) I should’ve known! He never cared about any of us! Even before the Grand Tack, he pushed you away despite knowing we all lost family members, not just him!

[MARS]: (taken aback) He—he did?

[SATURN]: (exclaiming) Oh yes! Ever since Protoplanets 4-5 died, it was Jupiter who looked after us! Jupiter nursed us back to health when we were sick! Jupiter consoled us whenever we cried or had nightmares! Jupiter set aside time to bond with us! So yes!! Jupiter’s our real big brother, not the Sun!

[MARS]: It was that bad? Jesus…

[SATURN]: In fact, the Sun didn’t attend any of our siblings’ funerals and left us to grieve alone while he wallowed in his own self-pity! Did you know how many times we cried because of him??!! How much Jupiter felt like he was a burden?! At least we had him, but he needed the Sun! His older brother—and that stupid asshole wasn’t there for him!

Everyone else was shocked by his outburst. Was this true? Did it all lead up to this?

[SATURN]: (forlornly) The Sun promised to look after us, but he broke it! A-And he said if Jupiter was afraid of the dark, he could look to him and no longer be afraid, yet that was also a lie! Instead, the Sun scared him so much that no wonder Jupiter couldn’t tell him the truth! He feared for his life! We all did!

A million years later, while the Sun is asleep, a molecular cloud collapses 3.5 astronomical units away and forms an infant Jupiter, who opens his eyes groggily.

[MERCURY]: (high-pitched voice) Baby Jupiter!

[NEPTUNE]: (gleaming) Aww! He’s so adorable!

[MARS]: (brow raised) And tiny.

[VENUS]: (snorting) You call that tiny?

[EARTH]: (casual shrug) For a giant maybe…?

[SUN]: (wakes up) H-Hello? Wait! You’re—you’re a planet! I—I have a planet?

[JUPITER]: (weary groan) Who…? Who am I?

[NEPTUNE]: (giggling) Jupiter, of course!

[URANUS]: (bemused) He knows that already.

[SUN]: (joyful tone) You’re a planet! My first planet ever! You were born from the stuff that I—I came from.

[SATURN]: (fake cough) Liar!

[JUPITER]: (informatively) Actually the ‘stuff’ part is true. We all originated from the Solar Nebula, remember?

[JUPITER]: (awkwardly) Oh. Uh…sorry.

[SUN]: (hastily) No, don’t be! In fact, y-you could even be a star! (diagram display) You’re mostly made of hydrogen and helium like me!

[MERCURY]: Is that what Jupiter meant by being a failed star?

[VENUS]: You’ve got a point, pipsqueak.

[MERCURY]: (light shrug) Well, at least you didn’t call me a moon this time.

[MARS]: (eye roll) You’re still taking Venus’ words to core?

[JUPITER]: (frowning) But—I’m too little. You’re too big.

[SUN]: (gently) I know, I know, b-but that’s okay. You don’t need to be a star. My first planet…

[MERCURY]: He sounds so…gentle here.

[MARS]: Yeah, it’s like he’s a completely different person.

[SATURN]: Still a massive hypocrite though.

[NEPTUNE]: Well it’s not a complete lie. Those five were protoplanets.

[EARTH]: Like Theia and Proto?

[NEPTUNE]: Yeah! They were both molten rocks.

[JUPITER]: (surveils area) It looks scary out there.

[SUN]: (kindly) Yeah, I-I know. Hey—if you’re afraid of the dark, just look at me.

[JUPITER]: (concerned) And—who do you look at when you’re afraid?

[SUN]: (assuringly) I—don’t worry. I’m the Sun. (nervous chuckle) I’ll be okay.

[EARTH]: Look how happy they are…

[JUPITER]: It didn’t last though. God, I wish it did…

[SATURN]: (glaring daggers at Sun) And I wonder who’s fault that is…

[VENUS]: (blankly) So basically the Sun’s the main reason we have problems?

[URANUS]: Seems like it.

His first official planet smiles before happily orbiting around him.

“Maybe if we talk to him…”

“He’s already beyond that, Jupiter.”

A few minutes later, Jupiter throws an asteroid which disintegrates after entering Sol’s Roche Limit. He grins anxiously while another cloud region collapses and forms Saturn.

[URANUS]: (snickering) Ringless Saturn…

[SATURN]: (mild eye roll) Oh sure, rub it in. But I still looked fabulous.

[URANUS]: (snorting) Sure.

One million years pass before two more rocky protoplanets collide, much to the Sun’s horror and growing paranoia.

[SUN]: (soft gasp) No! No no no! This again?! Why does…?? W-Why does this keep…??

[SATURN]: I bet he caused this too.

[JUPITER]: Maybe it was both of us, I dunno…

[URANUS]: Who were they? I don’t recognize these two.

[JUPITER]: Quarta and Quinta were our sisters. They…they were the first protoplanets with rings.

Jupiter and Saturn frown sadly as the former moves forward.

[JUPITER]: (offering) Sun, is there anything I can do to —

[SUN]: (crazed eyes) NO! Stay there! Stay in your orbit! (averting gaze) Please…no more.

[JUPITER]: (backing away) Oh…o-okay.

[EARTH]: He was just trying to help.

[VENUS]: Geez, the Sun is such a butthead. Other people exist too, ya know.

[MARS]: Listen um…Jupiter, can we talk?

[JUPITER]: Uh…sure. What’s up?

[MARS]: I just wanted to uh…apologize for earlier.

[JUPITER]: It’s—it’s okay —

[MARS]: No, it’s not okay. I—I did the exact same thing when Theia and Proto died, and I still judged you for what you did. That makes me a hypocrite and…I’m really sorry.

Both of them hugged, officially rekindling their friendship and brotherhood.

1.5 million years go by before Planet X forms (offscreeen), followed by Uranus and Neptune a million years later (also offscreen).

[NEPTUNE]: (approaching Uranus) Hey, wanna be friends?

[URANUS]: (wide eyes) Uh, sure mate. What’s your name?

[NEPTUNE]: (casually) Neptune! And you?

[URANUS]: (embarrassed) Uh, unfortunately I’m Uranus.

[VENUS]: (laughing) Your-anus!

[URANUS]: (sassily) Yeah, keep talking—Aphrodite.

[VENUS]: You did not just go there.

[URANUS]: Oh I went there, mate.

[VENUS]: (retorting) That’s it! I challenge you to a SolarCards round!

[URANUS]: (smirking) I accept. So uh…prepare to lose.

[EARTH & MARS]: Oh snap!

[NEPTUNE]: Oh I don’t see anything wrong with that. (Uranus smiles) Hey, let’s go play!

[URANUS]: (following him) Uh—yeah sure!

[MERCURY]: Was this the birth of Asteroid Dodgeball?

[NEPTUNE]: Nope! There was no such as dodgeball back then.

[MARS]: Then what were you guys doing?

[URANUS]: We just played with asteroids, no biggie.

Another million years pass before Saturn hears an unfamiliar voice behind him.

[PLANET X]: Hey uh, you’re Saturn right?

[SATURN]: Y-Yes…? And you are?

[PLANET X]: (smiling) Oh! Uh…I don’t have a name. I like to go by the name X—or Planet X.

[SATURN]: (smiling back) Well…nice to meet you X.

[VENUS]: Look who decided to show up.

[JUPITER]: X and I made amends, so now we’re good.

[MERCURY]: He still hurt the moons though. Doubt they’ll forgive him easily.

[NEPTUNE]: Considering they participated in a violent revolution, they might.

[URANUS]: Listen—I met him and sort of told him off. But he feels terrible for what he did, trust me. X—he wants to come back home and apologize for everything. I know it’ll take time to trust him again, but he really does wanna make things right.

[MARS]: You sure about that?

[URANUS]: Yep.

[JUPITER]: (catches their attention) Hey Saturn! Who’s that you’re talkin’ to?

[SATURN]: (happily) This ice giant I never met. He calls himself Planet X.

[MARS]: (lopsided smirk) You kinda look like Ganymede.

[JUPITER]: (sheepish smile) Yeah, he might’ve taken after my younger self a bit.

[MARS]: Now I’m even more intrigued.

[VENUS]: Finally! Things are getting exciting.

[PLANET X]: Hey there, you must be Jupiter! Nice to meet you —

[JUPITER]: Cool cool. Well anyway Saturn, what are you doing later —

[SUN]: (hollering) Jupiter!

[VENUS]: I didn’t know you were rude. It’s impressive, not gonna lie.

[JUPITER]: Yeah, I’m not really proud of it, thanks.

[SATURN]: It was an off-day, remember? You weren’t normally like that.

[JUPITER]: I could’ve reacted better though.

[VENUS]: Everyone has bad days, bro. Don’t beat yourself up over it.

[JUPITER]: (hovers towards him, scowling) Yes Sun?

[SUN]: (apprehensively) Just…try not to go too far from your orbit, okay? Some of the rocky planets are still being formed and—you know, you’re a big ball of gravity!

[JUPITER]: (tearing up) Our little sisters…

[SATURN]: (same expression) I know.

[URANUS]: It’s them…Septa’s in front and Seia’s right next to her.

[MARS]: What about the ones on the side?

[URANUS]: They’re Octa and Nova.

[NEPTUNE]: Did you know their orbits were close to Earth and Mars? Pretty cool, huh?

The gas giant glances at Protoplanets 6-9 (Seia, Septa, Octa, and Nova), who are fast asleep as Seia yawns quietly.

[EARTH]: I wish we got to know them.

[JUPITER]: They’d love having more rocky planets around. You guys could’ve formed a club of your own.

[URANUS]: Yeah—the Rocky Planet Club.

[NEPTUNE]: We should form an Ice Giant Club and invite Planet X!

[URANUS]: That’s actually a good idea, mate. Let’s do it!

[NEPTUNE]: Yay!

[SATURN]: Too bad there are only two gas giants. There’s not enough of us.

[JUPITER]: If only Tyche were still here…

[SATURN]: Yeah—I miss her too.

[EARTH]: Who’s Tyche?

[JUPITER]: She was the outermost planet of our Solar System, but the Sun’s gravity couldn’t hold her for long, so she drifted away like so many others.

[URANUS]: Neptune and I heard stories about her, but Tyche left before we were born, so we never got to meet her.

[JUPITER]: (eye roll) Listen, I know it may be a bit too late to change orbits, but…my friend is at the other side of the Belt. Can I—?

[SUN]: (glaring at him) Jupiter, no! We’ve talked about this!

[VENUS]: Define talking.

[SATURN]: More like huffing and puffing.

[EARTH]: Did he blow the whole house down?

[SATURN]: Apparently.

[JUPITER]: (exasperated) But I used to be able to change orbits freely! Now I’m just stuck here?

[SUN]: (glowering) I’M NOT HAVING IT! Come on, you’re the biggest planet! Be a good example to all the others!

[SATURN]: At least he is a good example…unlike you.

[JUPITER]: Saturn…

[SATURN]: I said what I said!

[JUPITER]: Oh boy…

[VENUS]: I actually prefer pissed-off Saturn. He’s got guts.

[JUPITER]: (protesting) I…I…

[SUN]: (turning away) We can talk later, Jupiter.

The planet grits his teeth irritably, rotating 180°.

[URANUS]: We should all write a book.

[VENUS]: About what? Our life experiences? Isn’t that called a diary?

[URANUS]: I meant an actual narrative.

[EARTH]: What, like third-person?

[URANUS]: It could be first-person too…but definitely not second-person.

[EARTH]: Yeah, I dunno why that exists. What d’you even use it for?

[MARS]: I know right? It’s ‘you’ this and ‘you’ that. It’s so annoying.

[JUPITER]: (huffing) He’s gotten all paranoid—like he doesn’t have enough planets already.

[SATURN]: (predicting) Maybe he’s aiming to have a planet that can sustain life.

[EARTH]: If I wasn’t born—would Theia and Proto have life?

[MARS]: I’m not sure. Maybe…?

[VENUS]: Well obviously it would’ve been me! I mean, come on! The greenhouse effect only happened ‘cause of you idiots.

[MARS]: How is that our fault exactly? Blame the Sun, not us!

[VENUS]: Keep telling yourself that.

[MARS]: Unbelievable…

[JUPITER]: Then he’s insane. Come on, that’s not possible. (Septa yawns) Gas giants like us can’t sustain life, and rocky planets are so—feeble.

[PLANET X]: (bright smile) Well—you gotta give ‘em props for trying though.

[MERCURY]: Am I dreaming? Or are we actually seeing a nice side of Planet X?

[JUPITER]: This is how he was before the Grand Tack.

[SATURN]: It changed all of us, including him.

[JUPITER]: If only it were different…

[URANUS]: We can’t change that now, mate. Besides, not everything turned out to be so bad. There were good things that came out of it too.

[NEPTUNE]: Yeah, like the current rocky planets!

[EARTH]: (hugging him) Thanks Neptune.

[NEPTUNE]: (ruffling his hair) You’re welcome, little bro!

[JUPITER]: (confused) Who are you again?

[PLANET X]: (frowning) I told you. I’m Planet X.

[MARS]: Didn’t he tell you his name?

[JUPITER]: I only heard it once, so…

[JUPITER]: (unimpressed) Well Planet X, you’re being incredibly annoying.

[SATURN]: (same expression) Yeah sorry, but you’re being kind of rude.

[PLANET X]: I’m rude? Seriously? (pffting) Gimme a break!

[MARS]: Okay…you weren’t nearly as rude as when Earth met Titan, but still…yikes.

[JUPITER]: Yeah, it wasn’t my best hour.

[EARTH]: For my Earthlings, this is typical sibling behavior. Honestly, Jupiter’s tame compared to some of them.

[MERCURY]: How brutal are they?

[EARTH]: Depends.

They don’t realize the Sun is partially eavesdropping on their conversation since he’s facing the other way.

[JUPITER]: The Sun’s distracted.

[PLANET X]: So?

[MARS]: (wide eyes) Is this when it happened?

[JUPITER]: (swallowing thickly) Yes.

[SATURN]: (anxiously) In a few minutes, to be exact.

[JUPITER]: I can do this. I can cross to your side.

[SATURN]: Great idea! Okay, hurry before he —

[PLANET X]: (blocks Saturn) Guys no! Stop! Jupiter, you can’t do this!

[MERCURY]: Are you sure X didn’t contribute to the Grand Tack?

[VENUS]: Yeah! Maybe it was his gravity that killed them when he went in front of Saturn.

[JUPITER]: Guys, it wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I’m the one who’s responsible, not X.

But the largest planet ignores him and hovers forward with determination, unaware that he’s pulling Seia and Septa towards him with his gravity.

[EARTH]: Oh god…

[MARS]: No, nononononono…

[MERCURY]: But we just met them! It’s not fair!

[VENUS]: For once, you’re right pipsqueak.

[SATURN]: (mouth agape) Wait! Look out!

[JUPITER]: (loud gasp) Wait, no no no!

[URANUS]: You—tried to stop yourself.

[JUPITER]: I-I did…but it didn’t work.

Seia immediately wakes up and opens her mouth in terror before crashing into Jupiter, dying instantly. Septa mimics her sister’s expression before also disintegrating in Jupiter’s Roche Limit.

[URANUS]: (embracing him) I’m so sorry.

[JUPITER]: (shaking head) Don’t be. It—it’s my fault.

[URANUS]: (tenderly) It was an accident, mate.

[JUPITER]: (tears falling) B-But I couldn’t save them!

[JUPITER]: (grimacing) No! I’m sorry! I-It’s not my—!

He’s flung to the other side of the Asteroid Belt and watches in horror as Octa and Nova die in Sol’s Roche Limit, screaming at the top of their lungs.

The biggest planet wept heavily into Caelus’ shoulder as his other siblings tried to console him with lots of side-hugs. Even Venus let down his tough guy act for a bit.

[EARTH]: Dude, please stop blaming yourself. It kills us to see you like this.

[URANUS]: Jupiter…you’ve punished yourself enough. It was an accident.

[JUPITER]: B-But…!

[MARS]: He’s right, man. Hell, you made up for it a billion times over by takin’ care of us.

[JUPITER]: (heartbrokenly) Y-Yeah right. I-I really screwed up everythin’ and…I can’t fix it. I-I can’t go back and change anythin’. I…I can’t bring ‘em back. And I really want ‘em back—more than anything. I-I want my sisters back. I miss them so much…!

[URANUS]: (sadly) We all do, buddy. We all do…

Saturn and Planet X also shudder in fear behind him, staring at the floating remnants of the four recently-deceased protoplanets.

[JUPITER]: (shakily) W-What have I done?

[EARTH]: (softly) What were they like?

[JUPITER]: (sniffling) W-What?

[EARTH]: Our sisters—what were they like?

[JUPITER]: I…w-well…

[MERCURY]: Please tell us. We wanna know.

[JUPITER]: (wiping eyes and nose) I…alright. Might as well.

[NEPTUNE]: (announcing) Let the story begin!

[URANUS]: (verifying) Well, the next one anyway.

TO BE CONTINUED