Chapter Text
“Things are so boring ‘round here,” Jesper sighs around a spoonful of ice cream. The plastic chair he’s sitting on creaks and whines under his constant fidgeting.
Nina stops by to his and Inej’s table, a wide smile on her face.
“Speak for yourself,” Nina chirps. “I have got a whole hot girl summer planned out. I’ll get myself a summer love worthy of its name. Make out under the stars, and all that.”
“And how’s the plan going, loser?” Jesper grins. “You still haven’t found anyone.”
“Can’t say much different ‘bout you,” she retorts, indignation clear on her fierce green eyes. “Besides — it’s only a matter of time, I have a killer bod in this red bikini. As about you…”
“What? What’s wrong with me?” Jesper babbles. He looks down at himself and sees a scrawny stomach and flamingos swim shorts. Those aren’t even his worst ones.
When he glances back up, Nina just quirks up a single, judgmental eyebrow, while Inej tries not to laugh. It’s a useless effort, anyway. “C’mon, man, you’re cruel,” he protests, opening his own lanky arms in a theatrical way. “I’m sure I’ll find a lad or lady who’ll appreciate my underrated charm.”
“That’s what you said last summer, too,” Nina chants, basically gloating with happiness. The smug skiv, laughing about his misfortunes. Jesper groans. “It’s — whatever. Romance is complicated, dude,” he sighs, letting his eyes wander on the glimmering sea in the distance, pink flowers climbing up the stony wall near the aquamarine water.
“Ooh, I know,” Nina whistles. “But I’m sure our Inej here knows better than anyone.”
Inej casts her a single, hateful glance. “Fuck both of you.”
“I didn’t say anything!” Jesper cries out, maybe a bit too petulantly.
“She argued with Kaz,” Nina whispers conspiratorially. “That’s why she’s like this today.”
Inej says nothing to deny the statement, which tells Jesper all he needs to know.
Just about as he is opening his mouth for a weak attempt at defending his and Inej’s honours, he gets interrupted.
“Nina! We need you at work,” comes the voice, firm yet jovial. A big, bearded man tilts his head from behind the counter, wearing a pleased smile. Nina’s father. Jesper has called him dilf on various occasions — not directly to his face, of course — but always to annoy Nina, or at least get some revenge for her thirsting on his poor, old Da.
Now, Nina grumbles, all snarky confidence gone in a heartbeat. She pouts dramatically and then — then she stands up, fixing her work apron .
She starts trotting, voluminous hair falling off her shoulders. “Work calls the hot and the young too, I guess. See ya later fellas, ah and—”, she stops and turns her head to face Jesper properly, “stop buying lollipops and candies just because it’s on the house, Jes.”
Then she leaves, swaying her hips generously in that way she does to make them laugh, and joining her father behind the counter.
Jesper rolls his eyes.
The bar, this time of the day, is pretty crowded. There are the regular old men that always spend hours sitting at a table playing cards, the foreign families and the screeching kids, the lone travelers that write something poetic in their diaries and the young couples, with the sparkling look in their eyes.
It’s always the same every year, pretty much. People come and people leave once September knocks on the door, but during the summer months Nina’s bar becomes flooded with people of all kinds. Mostly families, traveling with kids to find an oasis of peace before they get back to the hustle and bustle of city life.
Every tourist he meets tells him he’s lucky to live in such a gorgeous place, but for someone like Jesper, life gets dull here after a while. Especially when the only exciting thing that happens to him is taking off work and going out to the same pub as ever to drink beer with his friends. Nothing wrong with that, but, well. Routine makes days blend into one another, and Jesper isn’t sure he likes the stillness of adult life
There’s a soft sea breeze that runs over his skin like a soothing balm, and Jesper leans his head on Inej’s shoulder, brushing her ebony black hair aside. She’s letting it grow, after years of wearing her hair short. It suits her.
“Do I really buy too much sugar?”
“You definitely do,” Inej laughs, twisting a pencil between her fingers. “I don’t know how you don’t have a cavity yet.”
He laughs. “Might not want to figure it out. You still on that crossword puzzle shit, ‘Nej?”
“Mh-mh,” she mumbles, absentmindedly. “Bought a new one so it wouldn’t make me think of Kaz.”
“Ah, always so mature, the two of you…”
“Shush,” she protests, a small smile painted on her lips.
“Alright, alright,” he grins, playing with his beaded bracelet. They made one for each other, years ago, when they were still clueless kids with no care in the world. It’s a miracle he hasn’t broken it yet, with all his chaotic self-destruction, as Inej calls it. He’s been known for breaking lots of things just by wearing them. But this one – this stupid yellow bracelet with the words Jesper written on it – this one he has managed to treat carefully.
He remembers it well: he made one for Nina, which made one for Inej, which made one for Jesper. It was a rainy day, back then, and they had nothing left to watch, not evening h20. They were staying at Nina’s house for the night, and so they decided to make bracelets for each other. A testament of our friendship, Inej had solemnly said. It had been a joke, back then, but little did they know that they would still be inseparable to this day.
“Do you really not wanna talk about it? I mean, you and Kaz.” Jesper says quietly, not wanting to break the comfort settled between the two of them. “I know Nina can be nosy sometimes—”
Inej sighs. “Thank you, Jes,” she says, slowly. “It’s nothing that won’t be mended. You know Kaz, he thinks he’s so unreachable sometimes, but he needs to meet me halfway. I won’t beg him to love me.”
Jesper admires her self-respect. He knows it’s all earned, and she’s not someone who hasn't been given her own fair share of struggles. Inej had to climb her way up to even be able to feel at home in her body again, and you had to be a fool not to recognize all the quiet strength that ran behind her brave facade. Yet, he often finds himself admiring her resilience, wishing he had at least half her courage, her honesty with herself.
Truthfully, he doesn’t remember a day in his life not being friends with Nina and Inej. Although there probably — no, surely is. He’s just bad with his memory.
He met Inej when he was twelve years old — on a hot summer day much similar to this. He remembers thinking Saints, she’s so cool, because her parents let her skate freely among older kids, in the square by the beach.
Jesper wasn’t granted that permission by his father, clearly, who said skating was dangerous (it isn’t, fucking hell!) and reckless. And that it would suck Jesper’s mind in like the videogames on his computer.
He wasn’t too wrong about that , to be completely honest.
Thing is, Jesper met Inej — a short, fierce girl who wore a grey little dress and knee pads — thinking he absolutely had to be friends with her.
Jesper had always wanted a skate, but he had never been allowed one, so he approached her by asking can I please, please try on your skate?
Inej has always been an awfully generous kid, so she said yes.
Yes, of course you can try it on. And then, yes, ‘course we can be friends. And then, over and over, for years to come — yes, ‘course you can tell me everything, of course you can cry on my shoulder. You’re my best friend.
Inej has never said that aloud, but Jesper is well aware all the same. Inej Ghafa lets you know you’re loved, no matter how worthless or bruised you feel. She loves in a violently kind way, and you’re left unable to do anything but love her back, trying to muster as much fierceness, as much unabashed acceptance.
Nina moved to their small town a couple years later. No one knew her family, and for a while everyone wondered where they had come from. In such a small place, everyone loved to speculate about everyone. At school, she was the new, annoying kid, who was trying too hard to be the teacher’s pet. Jesper felt bad for her, but he never dared to talk to her in private.
Her parents opened the bar during a particularly arid spring, when Jesper and his Da were having trouble with their old cow. It was the talk of the town, for a while. A new bar for the incoming summer season.
He was freshly fourteen, and not doing too well at school. Inej was one year younger than him, and so he had no friend in his class to do his homework with.
Nina was the one to approach Jesper first. Heard your Dad is the one we buy milk from, it’s so good!
And on, and on.
So that summer, he became friends with Nina — the free-spirited, rosy cheeked girl who’d always hang out at her parents’ bar. Inej had asked her to join her and Jesper on a morning to the beach and Nina had been enthusiastic to say yes. To think about it, it was probably the first time kids her age tried to include her since she had moved here. It must have meant a lot to her.
It was impossible not to be friends with Nina Zenik, and so they became inseparable pretty soon. She loved studying, which Jesper couldn't relate to, and she helped him when he struggled the most.
“Jes?”
“Mh?”
“What are you thinking of?” Inej asks. Her brown eyes make him feel unarmed.
“Nothing,” he sighs. “Just being nostalgic of old times, you know me.”
Inej says nothing for a while. “You know what? We should really have a pajama party soon. H20 and baking cupcakes.”
Jesper laughs. “We should. Oh, and don’t forget gossip. I heard Anika and Pim finally got together.”
Jesper stares at the expanse of the sea, the seagulls and the couples strolling on shore, collecting seashells. They seem as if walking in a bubble of their own: a delicate, soft world made of rose-colored glasses and meadows always in bloom. He wonders when it will be his time to experience something like that.
✧✧✧
Jesper has always been near the sea, ever since he was a little boy clinging to his mother’s hands and shrieking when he’d come in contact with cold water.
Water is holy, my little rabbit, his mother always used to say, laughing at her son’s fear.
She taught him how to swim: first, with orange duck armrests, and then on his own.
Jesper likes the sea, really, although probably not as much as his mother did, leaving in the early mornings for swims out in the deeper waters, sitting in silence as the waves crashed against her legs. Probably not even in the same way .
His Ma used to love the freedom of it, the way she’d feel like she was flying, muscles moving like she just belonged there.
Jesper — he loves the beach, and he loves chatting with the people he knows. He likes summer, the cold drinks, wearing swimwear, laying under the sun and coming home late after the sun is set. He likes friends, and likes the carefree endless hot days with Nina and Inej — and sometimes Kaz, when he graces them with his presence.
Although — there isn’t much carefree this year, as Jesper tries to avoid the disappointment in his father’s eyes since he told him that he got dropped out of uni, and that I’ll make amends, Da. Maybe I'll try again next year. Do anything.
Colm’s eyes have been filled with sadness, too, telling Jesper You don’t have to get back to university for me.
And yet, Jesper has no clue what his talents are. What is he good for? Good at? He’s twenty two years old, and he feels like he should have at least a clue.
Thing is, he doesn’t.
He knows he’s not supposed to have his whole life figured out at fucking twenty — fucking Hell, his brain hurts just from thinking about it — but he can’t help but feel behind, like a mechanism with a piece that just won’t work. Nina works in a bar with her parents —- admittedly, that’s not her dream job — but she’s trying to make some money in order to follow her dream as a make-up artist.
Inej has been a champion in artistic gymnastics since she was nine years old. She quit, because she realised she wants to study anthropology, but she has enough talent to fill their town whole.
Kaz is — well, Kaz is something else entirely, and no one truly knows what he does for profit.
And yet.
All his friends know what they want to do in life, even if, citing Nina’s words, twenty is still early to have it all figured out , you dumbfuck!
But they know, more or less, what they wanna do. Who they want to be. Jesper’s the only fool who signed up at agriculture university when really, he doesn’t care a prickling fuck about agriculture. He just isn’t sure what he cares about, in a world where things either anger him in too big ways or pass him over, completely unnoticed.
The job he’s found isn’t bad. He works for an old man — although his Da would get offended at him calling his boss old, cause they’re the same age — in a local little grocery’s shop.
It’s not a bad job, and it pays well, and Jesper knows that Nina and his other friends — Pim, Anika, Roeder — are all employed in things they don’t exactly dream to keep doing forever. He knows it’s fine, really, it’s just that the prospect of going back to university actually makes him want to puke only by thinking about it. And he’s not sure what this life has in store for him, either.
Working at his father’s farm? Working for Kaz? Working in tourism?
He thinks back to his mother — who had been a hat maker, yet not letting her job define her, always free even after long, stressful work days. It’s hard to live up to that strength, that power. That determination of knowing who you are.
Jesper’s always thought that he was more like his Ma — free, hardwilled, joyous and imperious — but now he’s starting to think he’s a lot like his Da, too. Worried, anxious, too scared to stand outside people’s requests and expectations of him.
Shit, those are thoughts far too depressing to have on a day like this. Jesper finishes his shift, walking on hell-hot pebble as he heads home, basking under sunlight.
He stares at the blue sky above him; no cloud in sight. Weightless, endless. A bit like Jesper would like to feel, too.
He has his routine by now: going to work, going back home, cooking something for his Da so that he’s sure he will eat, getting changed and then going to the beach with his friends. It sounds all kinds of idyllic to say, doesn’t it? But Jesper is hardly the perfect son, and he feels the weight of this each and every day.
That’s what he does now, though, as he slams their green door open and flops on top of their couch. Colm is bent in his vegetable garden; hay hat on top of his head to protect him from the ruthless sun. Jesper feels a pang of guilt at the sight; the thought of his father, spending long days on land to bring home some money, for him. And what has that gotten him back? A useless son who can only lie and hide for so long.
Jesper gets stopped from his frankly horrific dark thoughts by their cat — Marina — jumping on top of his legs, and purring like a madman. “Hey you, why are you so restless today?” He laughs, as she rubs her fur against the couch, then on Jesper’s leg, evermoving.
“Have you eaten yet?” He asks when pushes her face into his calloused hand. He gets no answer.
Instead, she crouches on his stomach, making it impossible for him to move. The sun is slowly getting dimmer, and between a yawn and the other, Jesper falls asleep.
Colm lets him sleep until it's dinner time. Hours later, when his Da wakes him with a soft it's time to eat, Jes, he and Colm eat in silence. They sit together, elbows brushing as they eat their soup, watching as the setting sun illuminates the green of their garden, wild bunnies running in the garden from a vase to to another. They don't’t speak much, but they never do.
✧✧✧
“A date might be good for you.”
“What?”
Jesper blinks. He gets irritable during dull in-between moments at work. Nina knows this, Inej knows this, he knows this. But in eight years of friendship, never has he heard those dreadful words from the lips of Nina Zenik.
It’s always see that cute girl? Or are you crushing on anyone right now? But never, ever has she looked so…so motherly about it. Almost worried.
Jesper detests the inquisitive look in her eyes.
“Are you going deaf? I said, a date might be good for you. As for the present state of things, I mean.”
“T-the present state of things?” Jesper babbles, sounding probably a bit too hysterical. “Why are you talking like a politician?”
“Because your love life situation is as desperate as that of our country.”
Quietly, Inej giggles. She’s perched on a high stool like a bird, writing something on their notebook. She’s always had a knack for listening while busy with other things.
“It was a bad idea to let you stay with me while I’m working,” Jesper grumbles in disbelief. “The old man will get mad, anyways…”
“But you barely have clients today, Jes. At least we make it fun for you.” This time, it’s Inej who hits him with the crude truth.
The annoying thing is that he has nothing to actually retort with. She’s right, it’s been a completely dull, boring day at work, and he would probably have made a sorry mess of himself, had they not been here. It’s Nina’s free day at work, and Inej — well, Inej is just studying. Her family will host their circus show in a few days, which she’s been training tirelessly for weeks. It’ll be the event of the summer.
The job has become pretty easy to digest, by now. Too easy, even, when all the tourists are headed to the beach and do not stop by his supermarket. But earning some money is more useful than complaining that this is not his ideal job, he thinks, with a hint of guilt for his Da. His Da, who has always given him everything and more, who would readily give him all his savings to help him pursue his dreams. Jesper hopes he can one day be worthy of such love, and not drown in it hopelessly.
“So,” Inej says, “who were you thinking of? For the date”
Jesper, confused, just stares at her with his mouth open like a fish.
“Great minds think alike,” Nina exclaims, winking at her. “I’m glad you asked, ‘Nej.”
Inej cocks her head to the side, looking a whole lot amused.
“In fact, I already have someone in mind,” Nina says cleverly, searching for something in her bag.
Jesper blinks. “You’re insane,” he says, dumbfounded. He can’t believe the absurdity before his own two eyes.
“Think about it,” she says, with all the persuasion of a television product seller, “it’s your only chance to actually start dating at the moment. And if it all goes south, it won’t be a big deal.”
“Saints’s sake, you’re making it sound like I’m on my deathbed already. And you’re underestimating my undeniable charm. I’m offended, Zenik,” he says, but he would be a liar to say he’s not amused by all this.
Nina scoffs. “It’s not that, Jes. But you have the assertiveness of a slug. I have thought of someone you don’t know, and I can also talk to him if you say yes. He’s single and ready to mingle, as you are.”
Jesper rolls his eyes.
Begrudgingly, he can admit to himself that she’s right. In some weird way, he feels grateful to her for this absurd, stupid idea, even if she’ll never catch him saying it. It’s not like he thinks love will solve all his problems, or bring new meaning to his life, but he could use a little help.
Jesper sighs. “How would this work?”
Nina laughs, sounding surprised. “Do you want me to tell you how it works? Or hold your hand as you get laid? I thought you weren't a little virgin anymore.”
Jesper swears. “Fuck off. I meant...how have you chosen this person? Are you some kind of love witch?”
“I’ve been called that, yes,” she winks. “You know the hot blond I’m seeing? Well, he’s staying here with a friend, who is also single and gay. We haven’t talked much, but Saints, is he our type. I know your tastes better than mine, Fahey.”
“I’ll just have to trust you, then?”
Nina gives him a big, hearty smile. “If it doesn’t pain you too much to do so, yes.”
He presses his fingers to his temples, in equal parts amused and exasperated. He really, really hopes clients won’t come in right now. It would be too humiliating to be seen having an existential crisis over his love life.
“What if it doesn’t go well? Will it make it weird between you and Matthias?”
“‘Course not, dummy, we’re not teenagers anymore. Nothing to be worried about.”
Jesper feels his head spinning with all this new information. Nina Zenik and her stupid love plans.
“What now, then?” Jesper asks, resigned to his fate.
“I’ll see Matthias tonight," Nina chirps "I can tell your future boy if he'd like to try out a date with a friend of mine." Jesper refrains himself from telling her that he is not his future boy. Trying to talk sense into Nina Zenik is useless business, anyway.
He presses his fingers to his temples. "Fine, tell him tuesday, after work. I finish at 7PM, then we can go to dinner."
He’s a bit embarrassed to think this through, like a teenager who’s not even held hands with anyone, just because this is embarrassing. It’s weird and embarrassing that Nina will talk to his secret date on his behalf, even more so that this boy might see him and decide that he does not like him. That thought makes anxiety swoop in the pit of his stomach, but no one likes the thought of not being liked. Of not being deemed enough.
“Oh, and…Nina? What’s his name?”
“His name’s Wylan.”
✧✧✧
The sun is still bright when he finishes his shift. That’s what he loves about summertime: the days are long, stretching like a lazy cat. The possibilities are endless, and he doesn’t feel like a fucking failure if he still hasn’t accomplished anything by dinner. The winter days have always made him restless.
Anxiety is no stranger to Jesper. He usually does his best to avoid it with gambling, playing cards or drinking. His own reckless impulsiveness has always helped him make the most of life, when everything became dull and gray. When he couldn’t stand his own mind and he needed a reason to escape it.
Now, Jesper is anxious for other reasons whatsoever. As the old clock in the corner of the shop is ticking, he can’t stop his spiraling thoughts, or his fidgeting limbs. He knows it’s just a date, realistically, and it won’t be the end of the world if they don’t like each other. Besides, Jesper knows he’s good at charming people, at making them feel good, appreciated.
He enjoys the rush of a blushing face and a nervous giggle almost as much as the spin of Makker’s wheel, or the hot liquor in his throat. But he doesn’t know his date, and his date doesn’t know him either. The thought of not being liked by him is what makes Jesper most nervous. It's not like he chose Jesper. He wouldn't be the first one to be disapppointed.
The day has been utterly beautiful, and Jesper has been envious of every soul who passed the shop, headed to the beach. Saints know how much he would love to just laze around under the sun from the morning until night.
While his small town feels claustrophobic during the colder months, it becomes flooded with people during Summer. It’s a simple place, with a lot of old people and families that pretty much all know each other. Kids his age either leave to bigger cities nearby in September or are living somewhere far away and far bigger. Kaz, Nina, Inej and Pim are some of the only young people staying here all year long, commuting daily from here to the bigger cities to study. It’s depressing in the winter, but having friends does help a lot. He can only imagine what it would be like without them.
The blue sky and the chirping birds have always brought him a quiet sense of tranquility. They remind him of simpler days with his Ma, spent drinking fresh lemonade and helping her make hats at home, passing her the ingredients she needed for soup and laughing when Da would instantly asleep after dinner. His town had seemed big to him then, full of possibility and friends waiting to be made.
A ray of sun illuminates his face, making him blink. He talks kindly to the old lady who always buys food for her cat, and smiles when she tips him. There’s a warm sort of stillness he finds sometimes, when his mind decides to give him solace, to give him the permission to enjoy the present moment without drowning in shame. These moments are rare,coming to him like an unexpected but beloved guest, knocking on his door when he least expects it. Jesper allows the sun to warm his cheeks and to settle his nervous heart for a while. Saints know when he’ll manage to feel at peace again.
He doesn’t expect it when he hears the noise of the opening door, but he does appreciate the reminder.
“Hello, Suusje,” he greets his co-worker. She’s a petite Kerch woman in her 60s, whose only son has left to work as a renowned chef years ago. She has worked here as long as he remembers, even if now that Jesper works here as well, she has more free time for herself.
“Hello, Jes, did you have a good shift?” She asks, but waits for no answer. “There’s a boy here outside the shop, it looks like he’s waiting. I thought you might know him.”
Jesper blinks. His date is more punctual than he expected.
“Thank you, love’,” he says, stealing a smile from the woman. “I had lost sense of time." Jesper stands up, gathering all his things.
“See you tomorrow, Jesper," Suusje chirps.
"Oh, and enjoy your date,” she adds. Her eyes betray a mischievious glint.
Jesper says nothing, hoping he doesn’t look too embarrassed to have been read like that. How do women always know everything? Nina should never hear the end of it.
When Jesper steps outside, he doesn’t expect the chilly sea breeze that meets his skin. It is a welcome gift, though, after hours spent inside. The sun is low, but it hasn’t begun to set yet. It is his favourite moment of the day: when he sets off work and he can have some time to himself, and the world is basked in golden light. Today, it looks especially bright.
Among blue skies and the glinting sea on the horizon, the only noises outside are the chirping of birds and the occasional distant humming of cars. There’s a boy, though, shorter than Jesper, with his hands in his pockets and a cross-body bag that looks too big for him.
He’s looking at the ground and tapping his feet like he’s nervous, too. Jesper hopes he hasn’t been waiting for too long.
Jesper clears his throat. “Hi.”
When the boy looks up, the first thing that catches Jesper’s attention is a pair of two wide, baby blue eyes. He thinks the colour matches the sky. A mop of red-gold hair crowns his head, falling on his face in a way that is oh so charming. He’s really, really pretty.
The boy looks a bit confused, at first, and then when some sort of recognition hits, a deep red flush colours his face.
“Hello,” he says, offering his hand for a handshake. The gesture makes Jesper grin. “I’m Wylan.”
I know, Jesper thinks. “I’m Jesper.” He finds his voice softer than he is used to. He thinks his cheeks are a bit warm, too. It's embarrassing not to know what to say, as someone who always has a quick comeback for everything.
A nervous laugh falls off his lips as silence falls between them, the air thick with tension. Wylan gives him a soft, little smile.
“I’ve never done this before,” Wylan admits slowly, “going on a date with someone because of my friends.”
“Me neither,” Jesper says, relieved. He wishes he could tell him that he likes what he sees much more than he expected to. Instead, blurts out: “Are you sure you’re overage? You don’t look a day over sixteen.”
The blush on Wylan’s face deepens, almost angrily. “I’ll be twenty one in a couple of months, actually. I don't think you’re much older, either.”
Jesper grins. “Freshly twenty two. I hope Nina hasn’t told you shit about me.”
“She hasn’t told me anything,” Wylan says. And then, crossing his arms and frowning: “Why? Is there anything interesting to know?”
Jesper laughs. Saints, the kid got humour. “I guess you’ll discover it yourself,” he grins, cocking his head to the side. They stay like that for a bit, almost studying each other in silence. Jesper thinks he might be a little too good at flirting with his eyes alone, because Wylan keeps getting a deeper shade of red just as Jesper stares at him with a suggestive grin.
“Shit," Jesper swears, "I forgot to give you something."
From his bag, he takes a pretty mediocre looking bouquet of flowers, the only one he could find in the shop. The sunflowers look a bit crumpled, but he liked the colour. “These are for you,” he murmurs, “pretty flowers for a pretty boy,” he winks.
Wylan blushes furiously, taking the bouquet and mumbling a quiet thank you. Does this boy ever stop blushing?
Wylan clears his voice, quietly. “Shall we go to dinner?” He asks.
Jesper readily accepts the offer, eager to put some ease to the tension between them. They walk side by side sometimes in silence, sometimes chatting. Jesper discovers that Wylan studies in a conservatory. He learns that he doesn’t have many friends besides Matthias, but that he has a much younger step-sister. He learns that he is reserved, but surprisingly clever. He has a simple way of speaking, an eagerness that takes Jesper a bit off guard. None of his friends talk like that.
The night passes sweetly, like warm, red wine on his tongue. It is, he finds out soon, very easy to laugh and flirt with Wylan. He makes flirting fun, with his smart retorts and rosy cheeks. Wylan isn’t an open book as he had thought, with his naive eyes and eager words. No, there's more to him, and Jesper finds himself ever curious to see how he might respond to what he says. With each nudge, with each joke, with each flirty line or soft word, he has fun seeing how Wylan reacts. He's never predictable, and it makes Jesper a bit addicted.
Jesper stares at him the whole night. A lot. When Wylan is distracted, he stares at his long lashes, the soft shape of his mouth. Most of all, Jesper stupidly wonders what his hair would feel like to the touch, if it is as soft as it looks. If his hands run cold or warm, if his skin would feel soft under a palm.
He’s a bit disappointed when their dinner comes to an end, to be completely honest, coming out of the restaurant to the cool air of the night. He doesn’t want to come off too strong or ask him to stay, but he also doesn’t want to go just yet.
“Did you come to the shop by foot?”
“Yes,” Wylan says. “This place is too small to use a car.”
“Then let me walk you home,” Jesper asks, earnestly. “I don’t want you to go all alone.”
“But then you ’ll have to walk home alone,” wylan laughs, a bit tipsy.
“Don’t care. I know this place like the back of my hands. It’s too dark for you to go on your own. Besides, you might get lost, what kind of gentleman would I be?”
“Alright,” Wylan concedes, "but just so you know, I have a great sense of direction." As he finishes his sentence, he hiccups, losing all his credibility. Jesper laughs.
“Did you get drunk on white wine?”
“Shut up.”
The walk home is peaceful, with only a few street lamps illuminating the darkness and only the cicadas chants to fill in the silence. It is so sweet and reminiscent of his childhood summers that it makes Jesper’s heart ache a little. He’s surprised to see how at ease he feels with someone he met just hours ago.
They spend a lot of time in silence, too. Jesper stares at Wylan when he thinks he won’t see and he catches Wylan staring at him, too. It makes his cheeks feel warm.
The neighbourhood is silent, slowly falling into slumber. He can feel the distant sound of waves colliding against stone. The peace this time of the day doesn't feel suffocating, but gentle.
“This place is so beautiful,” Wylan murmurs softly. “It makes me want to paint it.”
Jesper turns to face him. “Do you paint?”
“Yes,” Wylan answers, a bit hesitant. “But they’re nothing special, my paintings.”
Jesper scoffs. “Impossible, kid, I don't believe you. If you need a place to paint, you can come to my house. There’s a perfect view of the scenery.”
“Are you asking me to come home with you on the first date? I didn't think you so straightforward.”
Jesper laughs, incredulous. He isn’t one to be often left speechless, but Wylan really is something.
Jesper kicks rocks as they walk, and Wylan makes fun of him for it. There's so much he feels like saying, and also nothing at all. It's strange, he isn't used to finding silence so comfortable.
With the corner of his eyes, he sees Wylan wrapping his arms around himself, shivering.
"Are you cold?" Jesper asks, surprised.
"A bit," Wylan concedes, "but it's nothing. I'll get warmer as we walk."
Jesper shakes his head. "I can't have you catching a cold after a date with me, what will Nina say?" He says, already taking off his grey hoodie.
Wylan rolls his eyes. "You don't have to be a gentleman just because of what Nina will say."
Jesper grins. "Jealous, are you? I thought you'd look cute in it. It's probably too big for you."
"You're so cliche," Wylan grumbles.
"Yet I don't see you complaining," Jesper scoffs. "Here," he says, handling him his sweater. "I'm not usually cold, but I was raised by an anxious man who always tells me to bring an extra layer. Ideal for when you have to impress short gorgeous boys on your first date."
Wylan laughs out loud. In silence, he puts on Jesper's old hoodie. the sleeves hang obscenely loosely on him, and it makes Jesper grin. He does look cute, but Jesper chooses not to comment on it. He doesn't want his date to die of blushing.
"Do you want to play a game?" Wylan asks, after a few minutes. With only the lamps illuminating the sheer darkness, Jesper can see the lines and edges of his profile, but not the blue of his eyes. It's a shame, he thinks stupidly.
"What game?" Jesper asks.
"We ask each other simple questions to get to know each other. But we must do it quickly."
"Talk about cliche," Jesper jokes.
"Hey!" Wylan elbows him.
"But yeah, of course, I know how to be quick when needed," he says suggestively.
All that does is earn him another elbow in the side.
"Alright, alright, what's your sign?" Jesper laughs. " Can't believe I haven't asked you already"
"Virgo. Yours?"
"Gemini! We're compatible. Uhm...favourite dessert? Mine is apple cake."
"Strawberry and cream. Does that sound as a dessert?"
“I say it does,” he replies, “favourite Taylor Swift album.”
“Speak now,” Wylan says.
“Sweet," Jesper smiles.
“Yours?”
“1989.”
Wylan grins. “Of course it is. What’s your rising sign?”
“Leo. What’s yours?”
“Taurus,” he says softly.
“Sexy,” Jesper winks.
“Shut up.”
On their way home, Wylan sposts some fireflies. Excitedly, like a kid, he points at them. There aren't many of them in my city, he tells Jesper. He loves animals, especially insects and amphibians, he adds. Jesper fears that the more he discovers about this boy the more he'll be obsessed with him. How can anyone be this sweet?
The night lulls them sweetly, and time with Wylan passes almost too quickly. Jesper does walk him home, to a white holiday house not far from Nina’s place. In contrast to where Jesper lives, it’s still pretty lively this time of the evening, with the sounds of adults chattering in their back gardens and friends laughing. Standing outside his house with Jesper's sweater, Wylan looks especially soft. He fidgets with his saddle, a bit nervous, before Jesper gives him a small, chaste kiss on the cheek. Jesper leaves him his number, together with the promise to see eachother again soon. It isn't one of those empty promises you make to please people; Jesper really, really means it. He hopes Wylan means it just as much.
He isn’t even disappointed by the fact that they haven’t kissed, although he has thought of kissing Wylan plenty of times tonight. He has no intention of rushing things, especially when the waiting itself is so sweet. Jesper has never been a patient person, but this once, he can manage. He thinks he wants to.
All he can think about, as he walks home alone, is that he hasn’t stopped smiling the whole night.