Chapter Text
Sing, oh Muse, of the wrath of Achilles, son of Peleus, ruinous that brought countless eliminations upon the Achaean team, and sent back many valiant warriors, leaving them in the cold snow; sing of the time of the fight between Agamemnon, son of Atreus and head of their team, and the agile Achilles.
But before it is time to tell the story of a dispute that ended in tragedy, it is needed to set a time and a place.
In modern times, there was a meeting between the Achaeans, or a council, as they liked to call it. The guys who called themselves like that all lived in the same street, their names were Agamemnon, hot-headed, seemingly the head of their team, Menelaus, his much calmer brother, Odysseus, master of strategy and intricate plans, Diomedes, who had both the brains and the brawn, Patroclus, never to be underestimated, and Achilles, incredibly reckless but the second best fighter of the team when it comes to snowball fights, or wars, as they look like. The best warrior, Helen, was a part of the Girls, who lived in the same street as the others but refused to be associated with such a dumb name, their words.The other two were Clytemnestra, her sister, and their cousin Penelope, but they were both at home, sick.
Currently, Helen was sitting at the head of a picnic table in the Park, where they went literally everyday after school. The Park was an abandoned green area, and it was split in two parts, each for the two factions that populated it. The other part was Troy, their enemy, built by the children of the richest families in town.
But let's get to the antefact of what will be the greatest snowball war of that time.
As it was said before, one winter, Helen was sitting at the head of the table where councils were held, with Agamemnon in front of her and the others on the sides.
"The Trojans have gotten bolder", said their leader, glancing at the other side of the Park, where their enemy had built a huge wall made of snow.
"I heard they got some of the Gods to help," offered Menelaus, his brother, one of the few ones who looked actually worried by that. The Adults, or the Gods, were parents, tutors, or friends of one of the other two categories, and are, despite the name that the teens gave them, perfectly human. On the specific, Athena has been both Odysseus' and Diomedes' babysitter since they were a few years old, and Apollo was Paris' Tutor. Poseidon just helped looking after Sarpadon since Zeus, his brother, was really busy being the principal of the school all the teens went to. All of them were called Gods because in the battlefield, their will was omnipotent, and they couldn't be disobeyed.
"From what I gained that wall was built by Poseidon and Apollo, and can't be destroyed if not from the inside." Odysseus stood up and took out a map of the Park, putting it on the table for everyone to see. "They placed it here, not far from the border, and they have guards all around, the bastards. They clearly want to fight. We could try to shoot them from afar but they probably have archers ready to take us out the moment we are exposed. They aren't doing anything for now, but we will need a wall as fast as possible, to protect ourselves." As he explained, he pointed to the zones inthe map, writing on it with a bright red marker.
"Do we have any Gods on our side?" Asked Patroclus, fidgeting with his jacket. "I don't want us to be in a position of disadvantage in front of-"
"We're not in disadvantage, we have the best fighters." Achilles interrupted him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Him and Patroclus were childhood friends and, as Odysseus suspected, recently boyfriends.
"Patroclus is right, Achilles," Diomedes intervened, "we do need at least a God to back us up if we want to last. Odysseus, do we have Athena?"
"I'm pretty sure we do, but we need more. I'll make sure to gain some information about this. Tomorrow, I want the full War Council here."
"Hey, you aren't the leader!", interrupted Agamemnon, "but yes, I agree, we will also need to meet the Trojans as fast as possible to get the war started. For now we can start the wall, tomorrow we'll plan the teams."
And so they did, building a wall with the fresh show like they did every winter.
---
In the meantime, three Goddesses were fighting outside the Park. Just some moments before, a woman left a cupcake on the nearest bench to them, with a small piece of paper. On the paper? "To the most important woman". She probably was looking foward to gift it to her wife, but since she left it there, Aphrodite, Athena and Hera all saw it and started fighting like their life depended on it. After minutes of senseless bickering, Zeus, who did not want to be there, was chosen as a judge.
"I don't know, you're all just so important", Zeus took time, trying to find a way to escape.
"So you can't even choose your own wife? Absolutely incredible." Hera exclamated, her voice full of indignation.
"And what about us, huh?" interrupted Aphrodite, "just because he's your husband it doesn't mean that he has to choose you." And they started bickering again, giving Zeus the perfect time to escape, but when he turned his back he saw Paris, one of the Trojan boys, that was going out of their side of the Park, and he had probably his best idea ever. Maybe, he thought, he could finish the question right there and then.
"Hey kid!" He exclaimed, gathering the attention of both the boy and the three women. "Why don't you come here and judge a contest for us, since I'm too biased." The boy seemed really confused, but he said yes and came closer.
"So, sweetie," started Aphrodite, her voice melodic and clear," you just have to decide which one of us is the most powerful and important woman."
"Of course, you'll have something from the one you choose," interrupted Zeus's wife, "I, Hera, would give you dominion over a bigger part of land in the Park, to have more power, even outside the border."
"Oh, you do?" said Athena, "then I would directly help them with every strategy, since I know Odysseus and his plans very well and how to neutralize them."
"What about Aphrodite?" said Paris, who looked very confused to the situation, eager to just go home.
"Well I", started her, with the expression of someone who knows that she will win, "offer you the best fighter of both your sides, Helen Tindareides."
"Deal." Paris said, without thinking about it too much, then he turned around and went home, leaving the three women there, one victorious and two angry, because Zeus had taken the opportunity to leave when none of them was looking.
Nobody noticed Odysseus spying on them from not so far away. That was good, at least.