Chapter Text
Is Namgyu gay as shit for a D-list rapper? Hell yeah brother. Is it fucking sad and pathetic of him? God of fucking course it is! Is it on brand? …Yeah...
Namgyu’s first love was a football player. He has a problem with the ‘unobtainable.’
Anyways, he’s in love, and it’s keeping him up. Namgyu lays spread eagle on his bed, pretending to sleep. It’s late. I mean, it might be? The whole no windows thing is pretty weird but what are you gonna do? Namgyu’s misses heroin, (Thanos pills are awesome… but they're not actually all that great, don’t tell him he said that,) Namgyu’s going through sentimental withdrawal when his body suddenly reminds him that he hasn't peed in two days. He closes his eyes and sighs.
Slowly, Namgyu sits up and rubs his eyes, he feels dirty, like he’s sticky. Namgy slides out of bed, pulling his jacket over his hands. His stupid tummy hurts, fuck his life man.
As he shuffles down the stairs he glances at Su-bong, he’s drooling on his pillow and snoring like a cartoon prison guard. Namgyu wants to kill himself, because the view makes him feel all hot. Namgyu turns as bounces his way to the door, hand hovering near his mouth. He’s so sober, he feels like a dead man.
“Can I-” He starts.
“124?” The guard says with– Is that pity?
“Yuh.” Namgyu says as he bounces on the heels of his van-ripoffs.
The door opens. Namgyu nods at the guard. The guard nods back. What the fuck? Dude, is the guard about to rock his shit? He knew he shouldn’t have joked about their pink fits with Su-bong earlier, he knew they were miced. They were gonna get his ass!
“Women, or Mens?” The guard asked. Oh. Okay nevermind he was getting ‘what's up, my brother’ed, not jumped.
“Mens,” He said, looking at the mens door. This asshole opens the fucking door for him. He gave a little nod on walks in.
Namgyu locks the stall and pulls his pants down. They gave him boxers but a bra. That was good, he thinks. Oh yeah, big reveal. Namgyu’s transgender. He used to be a big tittied mean girl an’ shit. But now he’s just mean, no girl part.
Namgyu leans back and sighs. He might die in here. In the game he means, not the toilet. Hopefully not the toilet… He might die, but maybe he’ll next to Su-bong when it happens.
Namgyu looks down at his nails… Su-bong has weird eyes, nice eyes. They're like little oceans, or skies, or..like a blueberry. No, no blueberries are purple. Purple like his hair. What a dumb fucking dye job.
When he’s done, he walks up to the mirror and washes his hands. He looks himself up and down, he looks frumpy. He makes a face in the mirror and tucks his hair behind his ears. Namgyu backs up and looks himself up and down, pulling at his shirt. Can you see his tits? No? Yes? He can see them, but that might just be because he’s looking for it.
He pulls his jacket up and inspects his boobs. Hmmmmm… yes, very round.
Just then the door opens. “Woah!” Su-bong yells, jumping. Namgyu yelps too, pulling down his shirt. No freakin way! Su-bong just says his giblets. He was about to get beaten up.
“Thanos?!” Namgyu yelps, half scared, half weirded out.
Thanos pulls his head back, looking like he’d just been told he was a mermaid princess or something. “Namgyu… Namgyu-ette?” Thanos says dead seriously.
Namgyu hurriedly flattens his shirt. Okay, he was gonna need a new group, no big woop. That weird old dude might want a sympathetic druggie in his group, you know, to really fill out his click or something. Thano stands there, confused. “You lesbian?” He says quietly.
“What? No?” Namgyu laughs a bit, putting a shaky hand on the sink. “I’m a man.”
Su-bing just stares at him. Namgyu looks around for something that could be used as a weapon, the door? Man, would he hate to have to hit someone with a door. But it might come to that, you never know. One guy threatened to skin his family after he found out. Namgyu hasn’t used Grindr since.
“I…was a girl.” Please don’t break my leg, please don’t break my legs, Namgyu thinks to himself.
Su-bong pauses, and then just begins talking. “Once, I was at his party in highschool and there was this girl, she had pink stripes in her hair and was like ah… 7/10? And she was super into pokemon, and she was like ‘wanna come to an after party?’ and I was like, ‘hell yes sexy senorita.’ But she wasn’ actually that sexy. And so when I went to her apartment and she was like ‘I'll make you tea’ and then I blew her back out in the kitchen,and she was super into it. She called me daddy, which was super weird. And then her roommate walked in and he was a man with huge boobs, but he wasn’t fat or anything. And then he kicked me out. So I get it.”
Namgyu pauses. “...thank you?”
Su-bong nods and walks toward Namgyu and holds out a hand. Namgyu high fived him. Acceptance?
Thanos sits down on the floor and smiles, Namgyu sits down next to him. Was this a bro thing? Sitting on the bathroom floor in silence? Thano sighs, and for only a second, he looks almost remorseful. “You ever get scared, Namgyu?” The tone change fucks Namgyu up. He’d gone from needing to pee, to paralyzing fear, to bro high fiving, to fear again in the last five minutes.
“Yeah, I guess.” Namgyu says sleepily. The bathroom is bright. Thanos looks nice, like a photo. A shitty low quality photo that's hung up on your moms wall. Some old friends.
Su-bong stays silent. So did Namgyu. He was painfully sober. Thano’s was painfully high. Maybe he’d forget.
….
The next morning Namgyu woke up to Semi tapping his shoulder. “Hey faggot.” Namgyu giggled nervously, 'cause what are you supposed to say to that? “Thanos told all of us about it. I dunno why you didn’t say anything” Se-mi says flatly, putting her head in hand. Namgyu looked at her. “Anyways, it’s breakfast bigback. You better get food before it’s all gone.” And with that, she was gone.
Namgyu thought for a second. No, he wasn’t gonna get all up in his feelings. Very cool to be accepted though. Whatever. It wasn’t like they were his friends. Namgyu hopped out of bed and got in line. It was waffles today, lets freakin’ go! There were blueberries with it. Like Thanos's eyes.