Chapter Text
It was too hot, the suit was uncomfortable, the people laughed too loudly, the drinks were disgusting and did he already mention it was too hot? There was literally no good reason for him to be here and yet...
“Stop pulling on your collar Fullmetal, you’re going to ruin the suit.”
Worst of all? Colonel Bastard was here too.
“Who cares about the stupid suit, this thing is going to suffocate me at some point.”
“Stop being so dramatic. Do you have any idea how much I spend on that?”
“Well, you’re broke so couldn’t have been much.” Edward got some satisfaction out of the way Mustang’s eyebrow twitched.
“It would have been a lot cheaper if it didn’t need to be tailor made for such a shorty.”
“Who are you calling short you bastard?” Edward almost flew at him over the round table separating the two of them, if not for the arrival of two other pompous bastards. Edward huffed and pulled on the collar again, pointedly ignoring the look Mustang shot him as he greeted the newcomers.
This whole day was such a waste of time. Mustang had demanded he come to this formal event, which was apparently held every three years for high-ranking members of the military or some shit. Right here next to the park in Central. The rest of Mustang’s team got excused, but since he was a state alchemist it was expected that he joined too. Life really was so unfair.
Ed rapped his fingers on the table and glanced at his pocket watch. They had been here since 9 in the morning. Nine in the morning! It was four now, and there was still no end in sight. They had had cake (with a speech), then coffee and tea (with a speech), now they just finished a three-course lunch (with a speech), and after this they would have ANOTHER drink (with, you guessed it, a fucking speech). It was maddening.
And worst of all: It. Was. So. Fucking. Hot. Here. Whoever’s idea it was to host this miserable event in the middle of summer should be hanged. All the windows in the giant ballroom were opened, but there was hardly any wind flowing through them. Over the buzz of conversations in the room he could hear the cicadas chirping from the fields around them. It was the kind of day to spend at the riverside, or in a dark room with a fan. Not playing pretend with a bunch of dudes who all thought way too highly of themselves.
Speaking of…
“And you must be the Fullmetal Alchemist, it is such a pleasure to meet you.” Ed shook another sweaty hand, this one from a Colonel of the East with a great moustache and small eyes. All of them were wearing the same crappy navy-blue suit, but Ed couldn’t find it in him to pity the guy. “Colonel Mustang here has told me all about you!”
Edward smiled awkwardly and shot a look at Mustang, hoping his face conveyed his ‘what the fuck did you do that for’ message clear enough. “Oh, has he now?”
“Absolutely! You are the youngest state alchemist, are you not? The Colonel here said that he was so proud to have you in his team.”
Ha! Now that’s leverage. Ed grinned and put on his sweetest voice. “Well, you know, it was a very difficult decision, as you might understand. But one look at him told me that his team was clearly lacking some... spirit. So I personally made the request to the Führer himself.” He smiled and blinked innocently. “You have to help the weakest teams sometimes, that is the only way we can all improve in this country.”
“Oh my, well you certainly have that right! And it certainly did help your career didn’t it, Mustang?” The man laughed. Mustangs smile said ‘haha my subordinate is so funny’ but when he shot a look at Ed his eyes said ‘I’m going to murder you in your sleep’.
It was no wonder people found the man so charming.
“Yes, well, it might be wise not to take anything Fullmetal says at face-value. Can I offer you two a drink?” As he led the men away he shot Ed another stern look and it was all Ed could do not to stick his tongue out to him. At least riling up Colonel Bastard never failed to be entertaining.
Before anyone else could strike him up for a polite, fake, and mainly boring conversation, he made his way to one of the balconies. There were some people talking, but it was nowhere near as crowded as the main room. He had discovered that if you stare out over the landscape intensely enough, most people left you alone.
He breathed in the hot summer air. While Central wasn’t the most beautiful city by far, this side wasn’t so bad. On the warm air the smell of flowers drifted towards him, and the cicadas were just loud enough to overshadow the roar of cars on the roads further ahead. Sadly, it could not overshadow the loud boisterous laughing from behind him in the room. Ed smacked his lips. He was getting quite thirsty from all the sweating he did in this horrendous suit, but most drinks at this event were disgusting. And the ones that weren’t had alcohol in it, so Mustang wouldn’t even let him try. The bastard.
Behind him someone hit their glass with a fork and Ed groaned. Time for yet another speech. Ugh. With renewed reluctance he followed everyone back into the room. One of the servers went around and handed everyone a glass to cheer with at the end of the speech. Ed got another disgusting, non-alcoholic, beverage pressed into his hands and had half the heart to throw it in the plant next to him. He would’ve, if he hadn’t been so thirsty. Instead he thought, fuck the cheers, and downed it at once.
His eyes found Mustang next to the wall on the far end of the room. He pushed through the people to join him. “After this it will be over, right?” He whispered as soon as the speech started.
The Colonel rolled his eyes. “Yes, after this it’s over. But,” he added before Ed could start cheering, “For courtesy’s sake we will stay at least another half hour after the speech has been made.”
“What?! That’s some kind of next level bullshit. Can’t I say I’m sick and need to leave or something? They won’t even notice me, I promise.”
“No, you can’t and you won’t. And keep your voice down.” Mustang whispered back. “You’re going to sit it through to the end.” Noticing Ed’s pouty face he added, a bit more kindly, “Come on, you’ve survived all day, you’ll make it this last bit as well.”
“I’m never going with you to one of these ever again.”
“Rest assured the next one will only be in three years’ time. Maybe by that time you’ve at least grown tall enough to see more than just people’s backs.”
“You fucking…” He aimed a kick at Mustang’s shins but the other saw it coming and side-stepped just in time.
“Now now, that’s no way to treat your superior officer.”
Ed grumbled. “Superior pain in the ass, more like.”
At long last, the speech came to an end and everyone raised their glass. In Edwards case, an empty one. Ed mentally dared Mustang to say something about it. Everyone said a few words of thanks to the organisers and from there on out it was free choice whether people wanted to stay or go. Well, free choice for everyone but Ed. Of course.
The people started mingling again and Ed snatched the glass out of Mustang’s hands. “Hey, that’s mine!”
“Sorry, this is my payment for staying another half hour.” He gulped the beverage down before Mustang could complain too much about it. It wasn’t an alcoholic one, but it tasted like shit anyway. “Blegh. What do they put in these things?”
“That’s called a grown-up drink, Fullmetal. But worry not, next time I will ask if they can bring a bottle of milk for the kids.”
Ed narrowed his eyes. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I’m deadly serious.” He sounded it too, but Ed could see the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
Mustang got pulled into a conversation again and Ed conveniently kept himself out of the circle while remaining close. As soon as those 30 minutes were up they were gone, ongoing conversation or not.
He smacked his lips again. Man, that last drink really tasted off, it gave him a dry mouth instead of being refreshing. The bitter taste lingered uncomfortably in his stomach and he had half the mind to throw it all up, but doubted Mustang would appreciate that. It was the heat, probably. Who knows how long the glass had had the time to grow warm during the speech anyway. Or maybe it was his own stomach playing up.
Pff, because it was hot in this room. Holy shit. Hot and damp. Ed tugged at his collar again, waiting for the 30 minutes to be over while the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach steadily grew. Looking around, he located the nearest bin, just in case the question of throwing up or not wasn’t his to make anymore. He pulled on his jacket. He was sweating right through his clothes. Was it warmer in this corner of the room or what?
“The Brigadier-General never knows when to shut up, don’t get me wrong, he’s nice and all but…” Mustang had ended his conversation and turned to his subordinate with a shrug.
“Hmm?” Ed looked at him and squinted, Mustang’s face was blurry and out of focus. He got the vague impression that the Colonel frowned.
“Don’t look at me like that Fullmetal, you can’t pretend to be sick to get out from this. Just about 10 more minutes, alright?”
“Yup.” He said, popping the p. Not only the man in front of him, but the whole room started spinning now. He grasped his head with one hand and leaned against the wall with the other. It was difficult to think. What was happening? His head felt like it was filled with cotton and despite the heat he was trembling all over. Ed got the sinking feeling that something was very, very, wrong.
“Fullmetal?” Mustang actually sounded worried now. A heavy hand landed on Ed’s shoulder. “What’s going on?” Ed swallowed to keep the bile at bay and tried to straighten his view again, but it was futile. He was swaying on his feet.
“The fuck’ng drink,” he murmured, “your fucking drink. Someone…” His vision blacked and he felt his hand slide off the wall as his legs betrayed him. The last thing he noticed was a panicked voice calling his name, and gentle hands easing him to the ground.
--
Ed was already annoyed before he full and well woke up. Why, he didn’t know. As if he had had a dream in which Mustang really pissed him off. And now, for some fucking reason, there was someone doing some fucked up shit that had a high-pitched, incessant, beep going off. How anyone could sleep in these stupid dorms was beyond him.
“Al,” he wanted to whine, “Can you turn that off?” Or bash in the head of whoever was causing it. But as he tried to open his mouth, he realised he couldn’t. Alarm bells went off inside his head. What the actual-
He tried to open his eyes then, but that too took such tremendous effort that he wondered if it wouldn’t be better to just give in to the call of sleep. But Edward Elric had never given up that easily before and he wasn’t about to start now. Besides, he was still really, really annoyed. So, with the greatest effort possible, he opened his eyes. Only to immediately shut them again because someone had apparantly transported the sun right in front of his fucking eyeballs.
“Argh.” He groaned.
“Brother?”
“Al…?” Are you there? He wanted to ask, but couldn’t quite form the words.
“It’s okay brother, you’re in the hospital, you’re okay.”
No way. A hospital? That would explain his annoyance. And the beep. And the light of a thousand suns in his eyes. He opened his eyes just a crack, and let himself get used to the bright surroundings.
“Welcome back to the land of the living, Fullmetal.” Ed immediately felt his headache increase. The bastard was here as well? Really?
“I’m s’pposed to be annoyed at you,” he said with a cracked voice, “but I don’t remember why.”
“Maybe because you’re here in his stead?” Al offered. That made Ed frown.
“Wha- why the fuck would I do something like that?”
His brother chuckled and stood up. “The Colonel can explain it best, I’ll go get a doctor and a glass of water for you.”
Now that he said it, Ed realised how incredibly thirsty he was. “Thanks Al.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay brother.”
As soon as Al left, Ed turned to Mustang. The man looked stressed as shit. Like, somehow even more than normal. For once Ed didn’t have a smart quip. “What happened?”
Mustang ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “How much do you remember?”
“Uhmm…” Ed racked his brain. “Not much. I remember being annoyed?”
Mustang scoffed at that. “Figures. We were at a social event,” he explained, “You and me. You were bored out of your mind.” That sounded vaguely familiar, some bits and pieces were coming back now.
“It was very warm outside, wasn’t it? I remember sweating a lot.”
“Yeah, that was part of the problem actually.” Ed titled his head in silent question, waiting for the Colonel to continue. “Nearing the end of the day you were thirsty and stole my glass. Only, someone had poisoned it.”
“Oh.” It took a bit before the reality of the situation sank in. He was poisoned? He fiddled with the blankets. “How bad was it?”
Mustang ran a hand through his hair again. “Pretty bad, to be honest. It was supposed to kick in later, when I would have been home alone. But well, let’s say the dose wasn’t meant for you, and it all went a lot faster than it was supposed to.” The Colonel sighed. “You were delirious, Ed. I drove you to the hospital as fast as I could, but I wasn’t sure you would make it. You were talking, hallucinating even, I think.”
“I’m glad I don’t remember that.” Ed murmured. If his nightmares were anything to go by, he was sure the hallucinations would have been terrible.
“Yeah kid, me too. It sounded pretty bad.”
Silence fell, while they both processed what had happened. It had been close, Ed realised. Too fucking close.
“You should be careful.” He told Mustang.
The other looked away. “I know, I shouldn’t have ever let you get that drink.”
Huh? “No, bastard, I mean, someone almost poisoned you at a public event! How is that not at least a little bit scary? You could’ve been dead by now.”
Mustang blinked, and then laughed. “I am used to the occasional assassination attempt. But you’re right, it was dumb to just accept a random drink from someone.”
“Yup. And you’re welcome by the way.” When the man looked at him strangely Ed added, “For saving your life? Sheesh, no need to thank me all at once.”
“Oh I wasn’t going to, I figured you puking all over my car was payback enough.”
Ed spluttered. “What? I don’t even remember that, that doesn’t count!”
Mustang chuckled, and his eyes looked a bit lighter again. “It most definitely does. And Fullmetal, no need to poison yourself next time you want to get out of a formal meeting. Just pretend to have a cold okay?”
“You fucking bastard.”