Work Text:
It's quiet.
Everything is quiet for the days after they get home. Steve tells Bucky that the pictures he took have been sent to the agency in charge of little welfare. Both Tony and his lawyers have assured them that Robert won't ever be able to work with littles again.
Bucky isn't sure that any of it makes him feel better. What does make him feel better is falling into some semblance of routine with Steve.
Steve wakes up first and goes for a run. When he comes back, he showers. Bucky is usually awake, but he refuses to get out of bed until Steve lays with him post shower, and they can talk about their plans for the day.
After breakfast, if it's nice, Bucky spends time in the yard on his blanket with Little Lev and his still to be named goat. Steve says they can talk about chickens in the spring.
If it's wet or too cold (Steve is the judge of both), Bucky sits on his blanket by the sliding glass doors.
"I'm like a plant, Steven. I need to photosynthesize," he'd told him. There hadn't been an argument.
Steve makes him lay down after lunch if they don't have outside the house plans. He says Bucky doesn't have to sleep, but some quiet time is good.
Steve totally naps. So maybe it's quiet time so he can nap. Bucky doesn't usually sleep. He reads a lot.
Steve works and Bucky entertains himself in the afternoon, they have dinner together, and then they take a walk.
It's nice. It's quiet. It feels safe.
Bucky weaves in and out of his headspace. Steve says it will eventually settle, but because he's gone so long without regularly spending time in his headspace, it will be hard to control for a while.
Ever since the moment in that facility when Bucky saw Steve, calling him Daddy has been easy. That's his Daddy. His Steve. Steve wants all the different parts of him, even if they aren't that pretty.
Steve also thinks he needs a thousand different things. He spends two days hyping up a store for littles called Little Angels, telling Bucky about all the things they could get there. Clothes and toys seem to be the parts that are most important to Steve, though Bucky has enough clothes in his opinion, and he's very taken with the farm animals. Steve shows him their stuffed animal display from their website, but Bucky has Little Lev and his goat, and he can't possibly take on any more responsibilities until he's figured out his goat's name.
None of Steve's hyping actually matters because as soon as Bucky steps foot inside the mall where the store is, he hates it. It is too loud. The sounds echo around the big open space. Somewhere a child shrieks.
"No, Daddy, please," he whispers, feeling rooted to the spot. He can't go any further.
They go home. Steve apologizes too many times to count. Bucky doesn't understand because he's the one who ruined the mall trip.
Buck finds himself very wary of the rules. He'd broken the one and Steve hadn't spanked him even though he disobeyed. He said he wouldn't. Had even explained why. They had a short discussion about what a time out was. And that other things could happen, like they wouldn't be able to go out somewhere, but that didn't sound like a punishment for him as much as it did for Steve who was the one who wanted to go places. Bucky was content to sit in the yard and to walk around the neighborhood at sunset.
Two weeks after Bucky gets home, Steve pulls him into his lap in the office and makes him pick out one new toy, an outfit to wear out, and a pair of pajamas from an online little retailer. He's very annoying about it too, but he is very happy when Bucky picks out a soft green crew neck sweatshirt with strawberries and strawberry leaves all over it and a pair of joggers in the same green. The pajamas are harder because he has some already. How many sets of pajamas does one person need?
He looks through so many. He has pants and shirts already. And his little pajamas from before were all one piece. Some of the ones on the website were all one piece too. Bucky pauses on a set that is dark blue and covered with planets and stars. The website says they are made out of bamboo, which is confusing, but Bucky likes them.
"Is it okay that these have stars and the ones you already got me have stars?" he asks.
"You could have stars on every piece of clothing you own, Buck, and that would be okay," Steve says.
So those go in the cart too.
The toy is harder. Bucky already has so much and he thinks he's gotten quite good at playing with his farm, but eventually he does choose one. A race track with a set of wooden cars.
Steve kisses his cheek. "Thank you," he murmurs. Confusing, but okay.
A box arrives a week later. Steve lets him open it. The bamboo one piece is maybe the softest thing Bucky has ever felt in his life.
"I want all my clothes to feel like this please," he says.
Steve laughs softly and promises he'll try. He takes the clothes to wash, but he sends Bucky upstairs with his race track and cars.
He only has time to unpack everything and line it all up next to his farm before Steve calls him for lunch. And then, of course, after lunch, they have to lay down. Buck reads one of the books from his shelf quietly while Steve naps beside him.
After that, he has all afternoon to play while Steve works.
Bucky starts in his room, but quickly decides that the bed is in the way of making the longest possible track, so he gathers everything and goes out into the hall. Steve comes out once while Bucky is in the middle of laying track.
"Make sure you pick all of it up when you're done," he says.
"Kay," Bucky replies. He'll clean it up when he's done. But right now he's in the middle of the build. He's got important things to do!
And then yeah, maybe he forgets. But then in his defense, he was just going to go *check* on his farm and come right back to the cars and the racing. He just maybe gets distracted because the horse and the cow are having a disagreement over which stall belongs to who, and he doesn't even realize he has moved on until Steve's gentle knock on the door frame.
"Hey, bud. Let's pick up the toys in the hallway. I don't want either of us to trip over them," he says.
Bucky doesn't argue. They pick up the toys and Steve promises he'll get a bin to put all the track pieces in.
Steve gets a bin, and Bucky builds smaller tracks in his room until a few days later when he wants his far to be surrounded by a race track and he's pretty sure the rooster wants to be a race car driver and there just isn't room in his bedroom, so he once again moves to the hallway.
But then Steve calls him for lunch and after lunch, they go out to the park and Bucky just completely forgets all about the farm and race track until it's after dinner and he's sleepy on the couch and Steve offers to get his goat and Little Lev from upstairs.
There's a shout and a couple swears Bucky hasn't heard out of Steve's mouth since maybe the war. And Bucky remembers that his farm race track is still all over the hallway.
"Bucky, can you come here, please?" Steve calls.
Bucky is slow to comply, nervous. He's been good. Very, very good, but now he's been bad.
He climbs the stairs and pauses right where he can just see Steve. "I'm sorry, Daddy," he whispers, watching Steve.
Steve rubs his elbow. "Thank you for apologizing, Buck, but this is the second time you've left them out, and I tripped. If it happens again. You'll be sitting a time out, okay?"
Bucky bites his lip, but nods quickly. He doesn't wait to be asked to pick up his toys. He scrambles to do it quickly. Twice. Twice Bucky hasn't done what Steve asked. He's worried about if it happens again. What if three strikes is it? That's all he gets. Will Steve take away his track? Will Steve still want to be his daddy?
Steve's arms wrap around him when all the toys are picked up and put away. Bucky wraps his around Steve's middle.
"Are you hurt, Daddy?"
Steve combs his fingers through Bucky's hair. "I'm okay, sugar. I just hit the door frame with my elbow when I tripped. It doesn't even hurt now."
Bucky nods, but he hates himself a little for Steve ever hurting even a little bit because of him.
He's so vigilant after that about putting his toys away. They go a few weeks without any incidents, but Bucky can't go too long without being bad. He knows this. His old daddy told him so. That was why he needed so many spankings. To keep the bad in check.
He doesn't mean to forget. He spends the morning by himself because Steve has to go to meetings at Stark Tower. Sometimes Bucky gets to go with if he's training with Natasha or meeting with Fury. Bucky usually follows Tony around. He's started to show Bucky stuff in his lab. Bucky really likes the robots and asking JARVIS questions. JARVIS knows everything.
But today Tony has to go to the meetings too, so Bucky stays home. He plays with his farm and then he has this great idea to build a track with books from his shelves and he moves into the hallway to do it.
He's still racing cars when Steve gets home.
"Bucky, I'm home. I brought lunch," Steve calls. Bucky doesn't think about his toys, all he thinks about is that his daddy is home and he races downstairs.
He practically leaps into his arms. "Daddy!"
"Hi, sugar. I missed you," Steve says, kissing him before leading him to the kitchen.
Steve brought home Chinese food, which is Bucky's favorite, and he lets Bucky sit in his lap as they eat lunch together.
"It's supposed to rain this evening," Steve says when they are done eating and just sitting snuggled up together. "How about we take our walk a little early today?"
Buck hums and nods happily. He has been looking for leaf skeleton's lately. They are maybe the coolest thing, but Steve says they won't be around for much longer. He wants a maple leaf from the house on the corner to be a leaf skeleton so he can keep it forever.
"I'm going to go change, you get your shoes on," Steve says.
Bucky waits by the door once his shoes are on, but when Steve comes back down the stairs, he has changed from his fancy work clothes into sweats and a hoodie, but he's got an expression that Bucky can't recognize. And he doesn't like it. It feels like a little tornado in his tummy.
"Bucky, you left your toys out again. I need you to go up and put them away and then you're going to have a time out before we go for our walk," Steve says.
Horror washes over Bucky. Third strike. He nods and slips out of his shoes before running for the stairs. He doesn't even notice his own tears until he drops to his knees to quickly put his toys away. He hadn't meant to forget again. He's quick to get the toys put away, but then he sits on his knees for a minute. He shouldn't need to be told so many times to put his toys away! He should know better! But... he's just a little bad inside, right? So maybe it'll always come out.
He is slowing down the stairs. When he gets down there, Steve is standing by one of the kitchen chairs that has been pulled into the living room and faced into a corner.
"Thank you for picking those up, Bucky. You're going to sit in time out for five minutes," Steve says. He guides Bucky over to the corner and gently pushes him down into the chair. "No talking in the corner. I just want you to think about why you need to pick up your toys and why it's dangerous to leave them spread out where we walk."
Buck feels so crushed by it all, like there's a heaviness settled over him. He blinks away his tears--or tries to--and hangs his head.
Steve says five minutes, but it feels like so much longer. It feels like he's going to spend forever in this chair, facing the wall. He won't get to walk with his daddy. He won't get to maybe have chickens in the spring. He'll never get to wear his bamboo pajamas ever again. He doesn't deserve any of those things. He deserves this. To sit alone in the corner. Forever.
Tears drip down his nose and fall onto his knee, one right after the other, darkening the fabric of his gray sweats.
"Honey," Steve's voice is soft, but close. He crouches down next to the chair and rests both of his hands on Bucky's leg. "That's five minutes."
Bucky wipes away his tears with his sleeve and takes a shaky breath. "Daddy, do you still like me when I have to be in the corner?"
Steve lifts his hands to cradle Bucky's face. He wipes away the tears with his thumb. "I like you always, Bucky. You just forgot. Hopefully the memory of this time out will help you remember in the future. But you sat your time out like the good boy I know you are."
Bucky sniffed. "I'm sorry, Daddy," he whispered.
"I forgive you." Steve pushes up from his crouch to hug him, wrapping his arms tightly around Bucky. "I love you. Bucky, I have loved you for most of my life. You’re in my heart. There's nothing you can ever do to change that."
Bucky grabs a fistful of Steve's hoodie, holding tight as he hides his face. "I don't wanna be bad, Daddy."
"You're not bad. Making a mistake like forgetting to put your toys away doesn't make you bad," Steve promises. "It makes you a very human little boy. My very human little boy."
Bucky lets out a shaky breath. He holds tightly to Steve for a few more minutes before he starts to pull back.
"We can still go on our walk?" he asks, feeling unsure.
"Your time out is over, honey, and we still have the rest of our day," Steve replies.
Bucky nods. He goes back to put his shoes on again and slides his hand into Steve's before they leave the house.
Usually he wanders a little. He likes to look at things. He likes to investigate. Today he wants to hold his daddy's hand.
"Daddy?" he asks at their usual turning around point.
"Yeah, Bucky?" Steve asks.
"Do I hafta have a bed in my room? I don't wanna sleep in there by myself," Bucky says. "Maybe without a bed, I could have more room for race tracks and farming."
"I think that's a really good idea, honey. We can disassemble it tomorrow morning after breakfast," Steve replies.
Bucky smiles and leans into his warmth. Steve Rogers really is the very best daddy Bucky could ask for.