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In college, Claire took a gender and orientation class and then used her newfound knowledge to tell Chris he was probably asexual and aromantic. He hadn't responded well to what felt like a diagnosis at the time, and he still isn't fond of having labels applied to him, but he's thought about it off and on over the years.
What she'd said made a lot of sense. He's never been in a real relationship. It's very rare that someone even catches his eye for more than a moment. And it sure as hell makes him uncomfortable when everyone assumes he and Jill are an item just because they're a man and woman who are close friends.
And then he meets Ethan Winters. Watches him kill the giant mutated Eveline, hears about the BOW horrors he survived as an uninitiated civilian. Anyone would be impressed.
And Chris feels something. He looks at this man, so normal, such equal parts broken and strong, with soft blonde hair and determined hazel eyes, and he feels something. Something he hasn't felt in a long time, something he's never felt this strongly.
He helps train Ethan in shooting and fighting, and they end up spending a lot of time together. He watches Ethan's eyes light up when he masters something new and wants to wrap his arms around him in celebration. He watches him shut down when Chris lands a sparring blow on him just right, like Ethan is remembering something too vivid, and wants to pull him close and whisper that he's okay, he's safe now, that Chris won't let anything hurt him, would protect him even from his past if he could.
Chris watches him, eyes drawn like moth to flame, and he tries not to. Because Ethan isn't his to look at like that. Ethan is married, and he loves Mia. They have things to work through after Dulvey, but they're doing it. Ethan talks about it sometimes, quietly, and it makes Chris ache for the wrong reasons.
He's taken to picking Ethan up for their training sessions in the morning and dropping him off at the end of the day, and Mia is always there. Sending Ethan off with a packed lunch and kiss on the cheek, welcoming him back with a hug and a gentle hand pulling him inside.
Chris has very little idea how attraction and feelings are supposed to work. Society seems to say he should resent her, but how can he? He can't forgive her for her work with bioweapons, but she's done with that now. Life threw her a sort of punishment no one could ever imagine. And Ethan loves her - if Chris truly wants him to be happy, he can't wish Mia ill.
So he just watches. Feels a sharp, uncomfortable sensation in his chest the morning Mia decides to come with and see how the training is going. Aches when all of Ethan's attention is on her, turning for her reaction every time he does something, almost as if he's forgotten Chris is there.
Mia takes a bathroom break after lunch while they're sparring, and as Ethan watches her go, distracted, Chris easily pins him to the mat, chest to chest. Ethan's eyes fly back to him, huge, breath uneven. They're so close, suddenly, and, oh, Chris may not understand love and he may not understand sex, but he knows when he's suddenly found himself in the middle of something important.
Ethan's wide eyes flick to his moth, and suddenly, Chris can't breathe. Ethan leans closer, a single moment stretching to infinity - and then he shimmies out from under Chris. His face is red and his voice too high when he says, "Well, you got me. Good one."
Chris is saved from having to come up with a response by Mia reappearing. "Hey, take it easy on my husband," she chides lightly.
Chris knows she's teasing. Knows she has no idea what just happened, how much my husband feels like a pointed reminder from the universe at this very moment.
"No one learns by taking it easy," he finally says, hoping it doesn't come out as raw as it feels.
He remembers that talk with Claire years ago and amends his opinion. He'll gladly take the labels if they mean he doesn't have to feel like this.