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It's a routine call. Well, not for everyone. But for Hen, it's routine. There's nothing truly normal about the local dispatch center being ablaze, but at the least, the physical scene itself is routine. Firefighters go in, bring victims out, and she triages with the rest of the multiple station paramedic team.
The first issue comes in the form of May. She remembers when she first met May, just a little kid at the time. She's grown into a beautiful young woman that Athena can be proud of. Dispatch may not be the last place she wants to land, but she's good at it, at helping people. She has a huge heart and Hen has always thought that dispatch was a good choice for her, even when Athena wasn't thrilled by it.
So of course when they find out May is still inside, well there isn't another choice. They all don their gear easily and rush inside to save her. It isn't an easy save, she's in the roughest part of the fire. It's a 5 alarm, absolutely not safe for them to be in the middle of it all. But they'll break protocol for one of their own everytime. Bobby pulls her out and Hen finally lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding.
There's still work to be done but she feels like she moves easier now. Her head isn't as full and she can easily maneuver around the triage area, helping the various dispatchers with small burns and general smoke inhalation. It's an easy scene, no big injuries. It doesn't even look like there will be any casualties, which she's always grateful for.
She doesn't think anything is wrong until she hears it. It's a sound she doesn't hear often, but when she does, she knows something is really really wrong.
It starts small, quiet. Buck stops by her tent and she only jumps a little bit when his hand lands on her shoulder. “You seen Eddie?” He asks, a little worried tilt to his voice. She just shakes her head and watches as his smile falls, face twisting into something a little bit terrified.
“Was he even scheduled today?”
“Uhhh,” Buck stutters for a second. “We were uh– we– he was supposed to be in at 11.”
Hen is a little confused by the reaction but she shrugs it off. She still has a dozen more patients to treat and so she doesn't have time to dwell. She just pats Buck on the back as he retreats from the tent. “I'm sure he's fine, Buck,” she says. He just glances back, disbelief in his gaze.
She starts feeling like something is actually wrong when she sees Buck again. The worry seems to be permanently etched onto his face, eyes darting around. She hears him asking about Eddie, trying to determine where he might be. Even Hen starts to worry after another few minutes when it still appears that no one knows where the man is. It's another little while before Hen finally hears what has been plaguing Buck this whole time.. The guttural yell followed by “Eddie! Eddie!” screamed into the smoke filled sky.
It's the horrifying crack followed by Buck's feral scream that forces Hen to run from the tent. She still has patients, but there's other paramedics around and no one is hanging between life and death. Or, at least, no one in the tent.
She makes it out only to see that Chim is already there, holding Buck back. He looks at Hen and she can see how terrified he looks. It takes a lot to scare Chim. Her stomach sinks. Before she can even try and get the story, Buck turns to her, tears streaming down his face and chest heaving. Chim just grips him tighter, trying to keep him from pushing away and running into the inferno burning in front of him.
“Let me go!”
Chim shakes his head. “No, Buck.”
Buck seems to not hear what Chim's saying, just continues to thrash against the hold. She steps up after a few moments. “Buck?” She questions. “Buck.”
The tone must get through to him because he turns to her, salty tears pouring down his face. He looks so young, like a little kid almost, and her heart just shatters. “Buck,” she says again, a crack to her one voice. “Is he–”
“Yea,” he interrupts her. “He was– they don't– he didn't come out.” He sags against her for a moment as Chim loosens his grip.
“We can't go back in,” she says gently, hand raking through sweaty curls. It's the same way she comforts Denny, she doesn't know what else to do. The entire dispatch center is a ball of fire and there's been strict orders not to attempt to breach the building again. If anyone is still in there, it's almost surely going to become a casualty. But, there's nothing they can do and it breaks Hen just a little bit more every second she stands cradling Buck and realizing what this means.
"I'm going back in. He left because he was so worried about being safe, about going home to Chris. I won't let him die in there. I'm not going to be a single father."
The words hang in the air. He's not asking for permission, he's not resigning himself to the fact that Eddie might not make it home tonight. No, he's telling them that he's going back inside, that he'll pull Eddie from the rubble himself. Flashes of old memories are dredged up. Of a falling truck and 40 feet of mud. Of Buck's lungs screaming hoarse and dirt caked under his fingernails. Of Bobby cradling him in the pouring rain. Of her and Chim cleaning him up in the bathroom of a farmhouse as best they could while everyone around them talked about a “recovery mission,” only getting quiet when Buck re-entered the room. It clicks then, for her. The earth tilts and then realigns itself and she just knows. “Omigod, you two…” she trails off.
“Yea.” Buck slips out of her arms, grabbing his helmet that's been lying by their feet. “We weren't– it all kind of just happened. We were gonna tell everyone, I promise. We were just waiting for–” his voice breaks and he swallows hard, toying with his helmet a bit as he glances between her and the fire filled building. “I'm sorry,” he says, before ripping himself away and running directly towards the blaze.
“Buckley!” The scene commander yells after him. “BUCKLEY STAND DOWN!” But, Buck doesn't hear them, just ducks right into the building, and Hen prays to a god she doesn't really believe in that at least one of them makes it out.
It's a grueling 15 minutes that feels like 50. She and Chim sit, med kits at the ready, watching the entryway for any sign of Buck or Eddie. They don't speak. She sees Chim reach for his phone but each time the motion is aborted as he turns back towards the flames. They sit, they wait, and they jump at every bit of static coming from their radios. Eventually, everything around them fades to background noise as they wait and wait and wait. It's excruciating and Hen wonders how many more times they'll do this. How many more ways the universe can conspire to eliminate the 118?
This will never get easier, she decides, as she sits in the grass. She loves her team, each and every one of them. Chim is her best friend, her rock. They've worked together so long that they don't even have to speak in the field, their teamwork is natural. Bobby's like the father she never had. Really, he's like that for all of them. But, when she was younger, greener, and finally out from under Gerard; Bobby was the one that saw her and nurtured her natural talents. Then, there's Buck. The little brother of the team. Doesn't matter that he's not actually the youngest anymore. He's always been the shadow, the kid who never gives up. And Eddie? Well, she's never really known how to classify Eddie in her head. But as time has gone on she just knows that he's the glue that keeps Buck together. Without Buck the team falls apart, but without Eddie? Without Eddie, there is no Buck. Their team only works because it's them. They're a family. She doesn't want to think about what it may mean to lose any of them, let alone two of them.
“I can’t–” Chim takes a breath next to her, pulling at the grass under his fingers. “Do we know about Christopher?”
It's a legitimate question, one they should really be thinking of. She doesn't know what Eddie's will actually says. She's heard whispers about who Chris’ legal guardian is supposed to be and as she thinks of Buck's last words before he dove into the fire? Well, she understands more now. “It's uh– it's supposed to be Buck.”
“I–’
“--I know.”
They sit for a few more moments, just breathing in the smoky air. It takes another few agonizing minutes before they see movement from the side of the building, two figures limping out what Hen assumes used to be a door. It's a gaping hole now, fire licking at the edges and they can barely see the people stumbling out. But Chim is pushing himself off the grass in record time. He grips his med kit tight and throws himself at Buck and Eddie as they stumble onto the concrete, Buck pulling off his helmet and pushing Eddie directly into Chim’s waiting arms. Hen hangs back just a bit. There's plenty of other paramedics starting to swarm around them, and she's happy to just stand in the distance and watch.
“Hey,” Hen offers the coffee cup to the man sitting in the chair. He smiles tiredly and thanks her, holding the cup like a lifeline. “He's okay, “ she says softly as she sits down. “He's okay.”
Buck breathes, takes a sip of his coffee, and turns to her. “He almost wasn't.”
“He almost wasn't.”
“I don't–I–” the younger man blinks back tears. “I don't know how to do this.” He gestures to the hospital around him. “It's just– I can't do this alone. Not with Chris. I don't think–I'm not gonna survive that. What if–” he voice cracks and Hen can't help it, she wraps him up in a hug and holds him tight. She lets him cry into her shoulder until a nurse gently asks if they'd like to go see Eddie.
“Some smoke inhalation and minor burns,” she tells Bobby an hour later when he returns with Athena and more coffee. “He's got a second degree on his hands but other than that, he'll be back at work in a few days.”
Bobby nods as he stands by her, coffee cup gripped tight as he stares through the glass in front of them, watching as Buck leans down and whispers to Eddie who's laying in a hospital bed. Eddie smiles softly, running his bandaged fingers through Buck's curls.
“Did you know?” Bobby shakes his head. “I knew something had been off with them, but I didn't realize that they’d…” she trails off and gestures vaguely.
“They're good for each other, one of the best teams I've ever seen on and off the field.”
Hen hums. “How long do you think th–”
She's cut off by Chim coming up behind them, yawning behind his own coffee cup. “The week Eddie started at dispatch,” he says from his spot behind Hens right shoulder. “They talked about it right before she uh–” he shrugs. Hen knows what he's not saying. Before Maddie left. “They've been helping with Jee-Yun a lot,” he states simply. “Couldn't hide it if they wanted to.”
Hen has a million other questions, but she won't get any answers, she knows. Maybe she will one day. One day when this trauma is behind them and Eddie makes his way back to the team. One day when he and Buck can think about this time again without the weight of the world bearing down on them. Hen isn't’ stupid, she knows their job will never be safe. They can’t even run from the 118 and be safe, Eddie’s proof of that.
She doesn't know what tomorrow may bring. But, what she does know, is that the two men sitting in that hospital room are meant for each other. That’s true love, and Hen’s lucky that she’s getting to witness it shine.